I'm not saying that kids in the 1960s
were braver than the kids today,
but there wasn't much that scared us.
Dean! Get in here right now!
Except the sound of an angry 1960s father.
I don't even know what I did, but I knew it was bad,
because Daddy had his "I'm serious" leg cross
and Mama had her
"Please don't hit him too hard, Bill" face on.
You mind telling me what's going on with this report card I just opened?
I am so sorry I got a "C" in PE.
I don't care about the "C" in PE.
I'm glad they finally put you on the boys' teams.
I'm mad about your music grade.
But I got an "A" in music. Exactly.
I've heard you practice. No way you're an "A" student.
Bill, go easy on him.
That was me going easy.
Only my dad would find a way to be mad
about the highest possible grade.
I'm going down to that school tomorrow to speak with this music teacher.
Ooh, maybe he'll show up
right when you're being stuffed into a locker.
Shut up, Kim.
But don't come between second and third period.
No reason.
Well, I'm just happy Dean's in trouble for once and not me.
Well, we also got the phone bill in,
and who on God's green Earth do you know in Mobile at 10:00 at night?
Hey, Dean, come check this out.
When Cory turns 14 next month,
he's gonna get his motorcycle license.
So your parents are gonna let you get a motorcycle?
Well, no, but all I need is the license to show girls.
Man, this makes me want to watch "Easy Rider" again.
- Yeah. - I know.
- You guys have seen "Easy Rider"? - Of course we have.
It's the coolest movie of the year.
- But I mean, how? It's rated "R". - My dad took me.
They actually let me in by myself because of my "moo-stache."
Yeah, still can't see it.
Oh, well, you know, that's cool.
My parents are taking me this weekend.
Even said I could have two boxes of candy.
- No big deal. - You're gonna love it, Dean.
It has everything.
Acid trips, violence, and did I mention there's boobs?
Boobs.
Excuse me, Mr. Van Der Kamp?
I'm Dean Williams' father.
Oh, please, please, call me Alan.
How can I help you?
I'd like to talk to you about his grade in music class.
I'm confused. I-I think I gave Dean an "A."
Yes, and I think we both can agree
he doesn't deserve that and his grade should be lowered.
Okay.
- This is a first. - I don't mean any disrespect.
I just want Dean to be challenged more.
I have higher expectations for him.
I'm actually a professional musician myself.
I know.
I must have seen you play at Delwood's a dozen times.
You know about Delwood's?
I wouldn't be much of a music teacher
if I didn't know the jazz club that produced Scooty Carmichael.
You know about Scooty?
They say he invented 6/7 time at Delwood's.
I know all the Scooty legends.
I'm just surprised that you do.
Because I'm so tall?
Yeah, something like that.
Look, if you're looking to see Dean more challenged,
I'm happy to stay after school with him a couple of days a week.
He's got real talent.
I think that's a great idea.
Unless we're past the point where I can bribe you to lower his grade.
Yeah, that ship has sailed, my brother.
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But before I could ask my mom
to let me see a super cool movie with boobs,
- I was getting extra school. - Hey, hey, now.
Hey, Dean, why don't we show your dad
what we've been working on?
- Is that "Oxtail Boogie"? - Yes!
Yes, it is! Great ear, Bill.
Thought you'd get a kick out of that.
You were flat.
I, actually...
Back then, album covers were offensive.
I brought the real thing.
Scooty live at The Roanoke from '52.
The Noke, baby.
I never thought I'd see one of these in real life.
You got a minute to listen?
Well, I'm supposed to get Dean back for dinner,
but I could probably listen to a bit.
All right.
You know, a lot of people don't know this,
but Scooty played more than just sax.
The one thing we knew in our family
was that when Daddy started talking about jazz,
we were in for a long one.
Legend has it, he was the only person
in his high school marching band.
Eventually, I had to go to the pay phone
and call Mama to come rescue me.
Dean.
You said your dad forgot about you, but he's right there.
You hear that?
- You hear that right there? - I don't believe it.
No, he's talking jazz.
Lil, hey.
Meet the only man who knows more about Scooty Carmichael than me.
God, help me.
Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you.
I'm Dean's music teacher, Alan Van Der Kamp.
Can you believe he has an original Scooty Carmichael from '52?
I cannot.
I'm going to take Dean home before he starves to death.
Y'all don't stay out too late, now.
Oh, and I made spaghetti, so you know
if you eat too late, you'll get the heartburn.
Lillian, I'll be fine.
Wow, turns out wives were just as good at embarrassing you
in front of your friends as moms were.
Oh, yeah, just how he starts it, right?
Well, well, well.
Look who's finally back from talking jazz
with his new friend.
I'll admit, I am surprised
I enjoyed talking to him as much as I did.
He's a lot cooler than I thought,
seeing he's a... teacher.
Well, he seems to be a great guy for a... teacher.
You'll get to know him better this weekend.
He invited us to a dinner party.
Oh, darn it, I'm busy that night.
I didn't even tell you the date yet.
What's so bad about going to a dinner party with me?
Sorry, I just don't want to get stuck
talking about improvisation and syncopation all night.
Wow, after all the corporate picnics I've been to with you?
I had to do a damn three-legged race with Mr. Davidson.
He secretly liked winning, though.
Fine.
You've done a lot for me, I can do this one for you.
But if one person starts scatting, so help me God...
You mean like this?
Bill Williams, don't you try me.
Hey, there, best big brother in the world.
What do you want, Dean?
Oh, wow, Army intelligence trained you real well.
Anyway, I need you to take me to see "Easy Rider."
I'm the only one of my friends who hasn't seen it yet.
I'll do your basket of laundry.
Deal.
- Seriously? - Sure.
I wanted to see it anyway.
Wait, so, you'll take me,
even though it has graphic violence, nudity, and drug use?
There's no way I can handle all that.
How bad could it be?
Bruce had just come back from the war.
His barometer for violence was clearly off,
which worked out great for me.
Hey, Bruce, I need the car keys.
I'm headed to a college party tonight.
It's too late, Kim. I already told Dean I was taking him to the movies tonight.
What? No. I need to go to this.
How can I know what college I want to go to next year
if I don't sample the parties?
Well, from what I hear, college is about more than that.
I already been to a football game.
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm sure we can come to some sibling agreement here.
How about we drop Kim off before the movie
if she does your basket of laundry?
Deal.
Well played, Dean. Well played.
But you should have been more specific.
'Cause this one's still for you.
Fabric softener on all the drawers.
My hat look okay?
Yes, Bill.
Are you sure a Jell-O mold is a good thing to bring?
I know my audience.
Okay. Good.
And you're sure the hat looks okay? 'Cause I can lose it.
The hat looks great.
Are you surprised you and Alan hit it off so well?
Well, maybe at first,
but once we started talking music,
it was like talking with any other guy.
He means any other Black guy.
I'm glad you're coming, Lil.
You're a little more used to these kind of parties.
He means White parties.
Oh, don't worry.
I'll stick by your side.
Last thing I need is to be stuck with a bunch of housewives
talking about Tupperware and dress patterns.
Thank you, honey.
Let's hurry up.
They like to start their events on time.
He means everybody but Black people.
This Jell-O mold is absolutely amazing.
Here, you can just put it right there on the table.
Oh, oh, oh, look who's here.
This is my wife, Patty.
What a pleasure it is to meet you.
Bill, I hear so much about you from this one ever here.
I kinda let it slip that you worked with Marvin Gaye
and everyone is just dying to hear all your stories.
- Oh, have I got stories. - Let's do it.
Oh, well, shouldn't I come with?
Oh, no, Lil, I'll be fine.
You ladies have fun together.
Word to the wise,
Mary gives a hard sell on the Tupperware.
She's a force.
I sell Tupperware.
Almost forgot a bowl.
It's in the pantry.
Gotta have a bowl.
So, do you like Tupperware?
So, how exactly do you expect to get into a college party?
Don't worry, my friend Gloria
is gonna meet me and let me in.
Enough chitchat.
Hurry up and get out so we don't miss the talking popcorn and candy.
Be safe, Kim.
I.D., please.
No, I'm just looking for Gloria.
Then I need your I. D.
Shoot.
I left it in my dorm.
Which dorm?
That one. Right over there.
Sorry, I am so bad with names.
That's the math building.
No, no, behind the math building.
You mean the creek?
Excuse me.
Come on, Kim's fine.
Nothing bad ever happens at college parties!
Bruce?
Bruce Williams, is that you?
Ay-yo! Hold tight a sec.
I ain't seen these cats since high school.
Well, then that means they're probably not that important. Let's go!
Just... Just sit tight a sec, okay?
Listen to the radio.
Come see "Easy Rider."
It's the movie everyone's been talking about.
Now in its final weekend.
And screw that parental supervision.
Don't be such a baby.
Okay, maybe it didn't happen exactly that way,
but I was determined to see this movie.
I found, when it comes to fabric,
you cannot beat 100% polyester.
Right? I have the cutest pattern,
and I'm gonna make all the kids matching jumpsuits.
Hey, you ladies know if the Jacuzzi's ready?
- It's warming up right now. - Cool.
Lillian, you and Bill should join us in the hot tub.
Oh, it is so fun.
Thank you,
but unfortunately we didn't bring any swimsuits.
Don't worry. Neither did we!
Bruce wasn't leaving any time soon.
If I wanted to see the movie, I'd have to find some adult
willing to bring a kid into a theater.
Luckily it was the '60s when adults were still cool.
All right, all right, come on, guys, come on.
Enough of the war stories. I want to hear about you two.
Well, I actually just got named the starting shortstop
for the baseball team here.
That's great! Hey, you always could pick it.
Hey, man, I could put in a good word with the coach for you if you're interested.
Even if it would put me on the bench
like you did in high school.
Yeah, I think my baseball days are over.
I heard you were wounded. Sorry.
But it must be real nice to be working, huh?
Yeah, I'm actually not working much, either.
I'm still getting disability checks from the Army.
Well, your hair sure has gotten long.
Right.
I am never getting into that party, Bruce.
- We can leave. - Okay, Kim.
But where's Dean?
- I thought he was with you. - Nah, he was.
I only took my eye off him for one second.
At this moment, I was being chased across the creek
by the wino who claimed he owned it.
Dean!
Then a few minutes later,
Marvin Gaye comes out the head and says,
"Well, I guess there is a mountain high enough."
Bill, I think we should go home.
What? Why?
I think that this is some kind of...
sex party.
You have got to stop reading Kim's Cosmopolitan magazines.
Sex party? My goodness, Lillian.
Just be cool.
You guys want to come down to the basement?
I just had it completely soundproofed.
'Cause I got my whole recording studio down there.
Oh, hang on one sec.
Yeah. Bill, I'm gonna need your keys.
Oh, no. No.
This has gone on long enough. I know what's happening here.
Is everything all right?
No, it's not.
Because this is a key party!
For the love of God, be cool.
No, Bill! I read about it in Cosmo.
All the couples put their keys into a bowl
and then they draw keys to see who's swinging with who!
But we are not here for your kinky games, Alan.
We just need Bill's keys so we can
move his car so Ted and Kathy can go home.
You're blocking 'em in.
You know what? No need.
I think it's best if we leave, too.
Thank you for having us, Alan.
Mary, I'll send you a check for the deluxe Seal-N-Serve set.
Why do all the buildings look the same?
Damn public funding.
Excuse me.
Can you tell me how to get to the movie theater?
And please don't tell me to look for "Upyourbutt" Street.
I'm not falling for that twice.
Wow, you're going in the completely wrong direction.
That an Erlenmeyer flask?
How do you know what that is?
I have a chemistry set at home.
Well, if you're excited about the beaker,
wait until you see...
the lab.
Wow, this... this... this lab, it has everything!
So many chemicals and safety warnings!
This is the greatest night of my life!
Sadly, that remained true for many years after.
I'm sorry I ruined your new friendship.
I'm so embarrassed.
- It's fine. - No, it's not.
You haven't made a new friend since the band broke up.
Please. It's not like I'm 10.
Stupid band. I hate 'em.
- Oh, no. - What now?
In all the commotion, I must have left my purse there.
No way I'm going back into that house.
Okay.
I'll just go to the department store tomorrow and buy a new one.
And a new wallet.
And some new sunglasses.
This is way cooler than "Easy Rider".
The resolving power on this bad boy is through the roof!
You really know your stuff.
I don't know why all those kids are at that party when they could be in here.
Party?
Oh, I guess I wasn't invited.
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
- I know how that feels. - No. No need to apologize.
I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing on my Saturday night.
So you wouldn't want to go to a party or a-a movie
just because your friends are going?
Not really.
I mean, that's the cool thing about college.
You don't have to do things you don't want to do.
We should really get you back to your brother and sister.
Yeah, you're right.
But maybe just one more diopter adjustment?
Oh, what the hell?
So, how are you feeling after seeing your old friends?
I'm fine.
Clearly Bruce was just like Dad
when it came to expressing his emotions.
Hey, does the one on the baseball team got a girlfriend?
He is a fox!
And, clearly, Kim was nowhere near like Mom
when it came to making people feel better.
Never mind.
You ever think about going to college?
I guess. I don't know.
I think about it all the time.
I'm a little scared, honestly.
I guess that wouldn't be very scary for you.
You've already seen the world.
Well, if anybody's ready for college, it's you, Kim.
Okay, remember when you were 12 and your Barbie
lived in a Malibu Dream dorm?
Too bad they don't give scholarships for accessorizing.
Who knows, maybe we can enroll together.
You know we'd go for free at Dad's school.
Great, I'd get to go to college with my brother and my dad.
Oh, there they are!
Dean! Where you been, man?
And how'd you get into the party,
and why you ain't come out and get me?
Well, when I got lost trying to find my way to the movies,
Cynthia found me and brought me back here.
She let me see the inside of the chemistry lab.
They have tungsten incandescent light bulbs.
Well, now that you're safe,
I think I'm gonna head back inside.
Turns out the party's more fun than I thought.
Tell Junebug I said bye.
Dean's had more college experience than both of us put together.
Junebug.
- Bill? - Sorry, I...
That's not Alan!
All y'all up in here naked?
So Lillian was right.
This was a sex party all along.
No, no, no, it was a dinner party,
but then some like-minded friends
like to stick around after dinner for, second dessert.
Why didn't you say that earlier?
We assumed you and Lillian weren't into this.
That's not why we invited you to the dinner party.
Oh, really? You sure you didn't tell us, because you didn't want
a Black couple joining in your sex party?
You know what?
We'll give you two some privacy.
Thanks, baby.
I'm sorry, Bill.
Hey, man, what you do in your private life
is your own business.
Just a little caught off-guard is all.
I enjoy talking to you because, to be honest,
I don't have that many friends who aren't into this.
He means non-freaks.
I've been in the music business for years,
I've definitely seen some things,
but this beats my story about mistakenly
getting Billie Holiday's dry cleaning.
Hope this doesn't mean we can't still talk jazz together.
Of course we can. Just...
give me a few days to forget this image.
You got it, my man.
Weeks.
Were they still upset?
I think they've gotten over it.
Look, Bill, I just want to say again how sorry I am.
Apology accepted.
Hey, how was, the dinner party?
- Fine. - Fine.
How was your night here?
- Fine. - Fine. - Fine.
Yeah, there was no need for any more details than that.
But as a result, 15 years later,
Dad did co-write the Whodini songs "Friends"
and the "Freaks Come Out at Night."
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