I don't know why we had to come tonight.
The big game is on.
I'm starting to think you use "The big game is on"
as an excuse when you don't want to do something.
That's not true.
Hi...
You invited us for dinner.
- Are we too early or something? - Oh, Lillian.
I'm so sorry. I forgot that was today.
- What are they doing here? - I must have messed up the date.
Well, they need to go.
Hey, hey, sorry for the misunderstanding.
But...
- We... We... - Yeah.
We're watching the big game.
No, you don't get to use the "big game" excuse.
- I use the "big game" excuse. - So it was an excuse.
Lillian, stop being petty.
- Cliff, I think we're gonna stay. - Bill!
My dad may not have wanted to be there,
but he wanted to be wanted to be there.
Alright, well, if you really must know,
I already have company important company.
More important than the friends you've had for 30 years that you invited over tonight?
Well, I'm glad you understand, Bill.
No, well, Cliff, let's just...
Well, I brought your favorite rum cake.
Is that the cake you always make for my birthday?
Let me...
Come on in.
What's the score of the big game?
Bill and Lillian Williams are our neighbors.
And our best friends.
They just dropped by for dessert.
This is my frat brother, Terrence.
- Are you...? - Different fraternity.
The first.
Well, they can't all be perfect like us.
I know that!
Terrence is a real-estate agent,
and he has a home for sale in Eastdale,
and, well, he's looking for the perfect Black family
to be the first ones to move in.
Yeah, we're looking for folks with impeccable credentials and the right attitude.
So, wait a minute. You all are thinking about moving?
- All the way to the other side of town? - It's a great opportunity.
Ever since that housing act passed last year,
they can't discriminate anymore.
But that's just in housing. Don't go trying to buy a horse.
That system is still racist as hell, okay?
We'll have access to nicer homes,
better schools, and city services.
And someday, even Starbucks and Chipotle.
Are you seriously thinking about this, Cliff?
Listen, me and Vivian will be the Jackie Robinson and Rosa Parks...
of housing in Montgomery.
Can I be the Coretta Scott King of housing?
Mrs. King was way more stylish than Mrs. Parks.
You just don't like riding the bus.
That's true.
I told Cliff... I said, "Can you put a sign
on the thermostat that says it's broken?
'Cause those white folks are gonna freeze us out of there."
Did I just hear you correctly?
Are you actually Cliff's boss down at the Treasury Department?
Well, I wouldn't say "boss."
I head the department,
but I think we all work together as a team.
We associate ourselves with all sorts of important people.
Did we tell you that Bill spent the summer in New York writing for...
Marvin Gaye?
- What? - Yeah.
I must say, I am impressed, Bill. Wow!
Bill is very impressive.
Now, after we do our groundbreaking move into our home,
- you can sell him one. - Or maybe I can sell him one right now.
I mean, Marvin Gaye.
I can't wait to tell my mama.
What's happening? Cliff?
I mean, 'cause I'm just thinking about it right now
as I'm sitting here with y'all.
Bill is a professor.
His wife runs a department for the state.
Their oldest son is a decorated war veteran,
and their youngest son plays Little League baseball.
I mean, that's more American than most white people!
I think you guys would be the perfect family
to integrate a neighborhood.
I mean, it would be best for all of us, obviously.
If we were interested in moving next to white folks.
- But we're not. - Terrence,
I told you I coach Little League.
- There's nothing more American than that. - That's true.
And which his son stinks at.
- Cliff! - The boy is not good, Lil.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause a controversy between y'all.
You are both outstanding families,
credit to our community and our people.
- Don't be mad, Cliff. - I'm not mad, Bill.
Should've never let you in the house.
I did it to myself.
Well, we have no intention of moving anywhere,
so get your lip up off the floor.
You look like I tagged you out on third base.
Like I did many, many times in high school.
Do it right. Do it right now, Bill! Come on.
- Get the ball. Get the ball. - Oh, I'mma go get the ball.
Bill want me to go get the ball. I'mma go get that ball.
No, no, no, no! You stay right there!
- You stay right there! - Cliff!
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Well, I'm just saying, we shouldn't just tell him no
- without looking into it. - Why waste the man's time?
Besides, ain't nothing wrong with this house.
Our cars can't pull through the carport.
The back of the house is always freezing.
We just gave the attic over to a family of raccoons.
The raccoons keep the frogs away.
- We have frogs? - Not anymore.
Look, Bill, I don't see anything wrong
with us finding out the particulars.
We could move to a bigger house
that would allow Dean to go to a really good high school.
I guess I missed out on the "really good high school," huh?
You want to finish up at St. Anne's with those ugly uniforms and no boys?
- Never mind. - Well, Dad,
you always tell us to support Black businesses,
and Terrence is a Black real-estate agent.
I'm not sure I'd even heard of real-estate agents before,
but I had a bigger point.
And our new house would be walking distance from my junior high,
and right around the corner from Brad's. It would be so cool.
What's wrong with your friends on this street?
Suddenly, your white friends are cooler?
You know I am fundamentally against assimilation.
But if our new house had a rec room big enough
for me to hold meetings to fight it, then let's move.
You're not fooling anybody, Kim. You just want a bigger closet.
Both things can be true.
I can't believe you might be moving soon.
Well, I mean, someone's gotta lead racial progress in Montgomery.
And why not me?
You know, if you move closer to my house,
we could walk home from school together,
watch our favorite shows together, even the ones that come on at 10:00,
like "Mission: Impossible," because, well, you could walk home afterward.
Why walk home at all?
If you guys are gonna be neighbors,
why don't you just sleep over?
Keisa knew damn well why we didn't have sleepovers.
Black and white folks had only been eating in the same restaurants for a couple of years.
We weren't ready to stay in each other's houses.
But I could always count on my friend Brad to be clueless.
You know what?
We don't have to wait until you move.
We could have a sleepover at my house this weekend.
Well, I mean...
Our moms are right there. Let's go ask.
- Thank you. - Yeah, this was uncomfortable.
But if that's what being on the cutting edge
of racial progress felt like, I guess I'd have to get used to it.
- Mom. - Hey.
Can Dean come over for a sleepover this weekend?
Well, Brad...
Of course it's okay with me, but,
it's really up to Mrs. Williams.
Mom?
Well, I think a sleepover is a fine idea.
But, we would have to ask your dad about it first,
and then if he agrees,
we'll call up Mrs. Hitman and make arrangements.
And this discomfort is how the current racial makeup
of the Democratic Party began.
I've heard things are... different
at white people's houses.
You know they don't use washcloths in the shower?
Oh, it's okay. I don't plan on taking any showers this weekend.
They also don't season their food.
Everything is bland.
Bet they'll make you watch corny TV shows
like "Hee Haw" and "The Beverly Hillbillies."
I hope so. That Jethro character is hilarious.
You might as well be white.
Unfortunately, it was neither the first nor last time I would hear that.
No matter how much of your expensive scotch I drink,
- I'm still not interested. - Okay, okay.
But, you just keep drinking.
I got another bottle to help change your mind.
Look, Professor, all I'm asking is for you to look at the house one time.
- Just one time. - I only took this meeting
to prove to my wife that I'm open-minded,
so when I finish this, I'm gone.
Okay. But before you go, I was hoping
you would check out this map of our dear old Montgomery.
It dates back pre-war.
Shows where all the plantations are.
Yep.
I thought that'd be of interest to a race man like yourself.
You buy that house, you're taking back the land
our forefathers slaved over, Professor.
That's a really strong move.
They do owe me my 40 acres and a mule.
You made your point.
I guess I do owe it to myself
to at least look at this house you're talking about.
You won't regret it. You won't regret it, Professor.
- I promise you, you won't. - Tell me,
what were you gonna do if your music didn't work?
There may or may not be a mule tied up out back.
Mom, Dad, you remember my friend Dean.
We're very happy to have you in our home.
Thanks.
Welcome, Dean.
We just want you to know that Herb and I
are so happy that you and Brad are friends.
You are welcome in our home anytime.
It shouldn't have taken this long.
Okay, well, why don't you boys go get washed up for dinner?
Okay. This way.
Feels kind of like my house.
Nerd!
Evil older sister?
This is just like my house.
Brad, that's too much.
In this house, everyone is equal.
We believe in equality.
Hey, that haunted house movie is about to come on.
Oh, so is "Adam-12."
- But... - Brad, you chose the board game.
"Adam-12" it is.
Everyone here gets an equal opportunity.
Dean, I see that Brad still has some Kool-Aid,
but you're all done with yours. Would you like some more?
And if you don't like red, we also have grape and lemon-lime.
We have all the colors here.
Well, red's my favorite.
Bless Mrs Hitman's heart,
giving me reparations in the form of unlimited Kool-Aid.
And being I was only 13, that was just fine with me.
Okay, boys, it's time to sleep.
Tuck you in here.
Night-night.
Yuck! Who still gets sugar from his mommy?
Night-night.
Sweet dreams.
I was up early the next morning
because I didn't sleep very well.
It was the start of an obsession I would pursue for years...
older women.
- Good morning, Dean. - Good morning, Mrs. Hitman.
Can I, help you with breakfast?
Oh, it's almost ready.
I hope you like oatmeal.
Who doesn't? It smells delicious.
Man, talk about having your nose wide open.
Never really noticed it has a smell.
What are you guys talking about?
Dean's stinky feet?
- Hey, good morning, honey. - Hi.
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm just smelling your mom's perfume.
Smells amazing.
Aw, Dean.
You know, you have always been the most polite
out of all of Brad's friends.
Hey, honey, go grab some raisins for Dean's oatmeal.
Raisins are my favorite.
Oh, the lies. The lies!
Oh, Mrs. Hitman.
She knew what she was doing.
Tremendous curb appeal, wouldn't you say, Professor?
Seeing those tight, hateful faces
was like waving a red cape in front of Kim.
Let's buy it!
This is the perfect spot for me to start
a new chapter of the Black Panthers!
Oh, we can have target practice
with our machine guns right here in the front yard!
- Kim. - They deserved it.
Yeah, young Angela Davis here is right.
If we're lucky, they won't be here for very long.
Folks that don't get along with us are a dying breed.
- What if they don't die? - Dean has a point.
We all know everyone's not gonna welcome us.
And that's why it's important to find families like yourself
who are brave enough to do this work.
See, integration is a battle that must be fought with blood, sweat,
and low interest rates.
Come on, soldiers. I think you're gonna like your new barracks.
Bill, come on, man.
This is the perfect family home. Am I right?
It is one heck of a house, and you can't beat the price.
That's right.
Hi, welcome to the open house.
I'm Terrence Raymond from Davis and Raymond Real Estate.
Kim is calling dibs on the front bedroom because it has the bigger closet.
You don't even need a closet.
Don't you only have like three shirts?
Hello. Welcome to the open house.
I'm Terrence Raymond from Davis and Ray...
Actually, we live across the street.
The whole neighborhood's been dying to see
what this house looks like on the inside.
Old Lady Wiswall lived here for years,
and she never had anyone visit.
Is that the original crown moulding?
You know, I believe it is. Why don't you go check it out?
- Cliff? - What are you doing here?
You're not the only one that can come to an open house.
That's why they call it an open house.
Well, we just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
And also show everyone that we are the better family
for integration.
You think you're better than us?
Come here, Dean.
- Come on, son. - Cliff...
How old is your son?
13?
Mine is 13, too.
All A's, this one.
Who needs all A's
when your son's gonna play Major League baseball?
You know what my wife, Lillian, the accountant with a master's degree,
and I love about that living room?
That there's space for a piano.
Everyone in my family plays an instrument.
We're all very talented... Very.
Don't y'all like to practice loud and late at night?
Kim, go stand over there by the short Long family.
We could raise the average height in this community significantly.
He's got you there.
Okay, Bill, now that's enough. Let these people look at the house.
No, it's okay, it's okay.
We're gonna go outside so I can see where I'mma set up my smoker.
Come on, y'all. And the whole neighborhood is invited
to taste my delicious barbecue.
I apologize, Terrence.
I don't usually get worked up like that,
but Cliff has a way of getting under my skin.
Folks around here have never paid attention to a family like yours.
They were impressed.
That's progress.
Y'all doing the work already. Look at that.
Terrence is right, Bill.
Moving into this house is a real opportunity
to change stereotypes about Black people.
And I get a walk-in closet.
It's definitely something to think about.
And it would give some of the white folks around here a good shock.
Yes! Fight the power!
As long as I get a walk-in closet.
Dean, stop staring at the Hitmans' window. Let's go!
So, how was the sleepover at Brad's house?
Did George Wallace show up to block his front door?
The Governor didn't show up, and everything was fine.
Just like at regular people's houses.
- What'd you guys do? - Well, you know, the usual.
Watched TV, played games.
I mean, Mrs. Hitman let us stay up really late.
When she tucked us in for bed, oh, her skin was so soft.
What?
Oh, I mean, looked so soft.
She had on pink lipstick and a mini-skirt at breakfast.
Hey, stop talking about my mom.
It's like you have a crush on her or something.
Just paying her a compliment. And besides, you have a crush on my sister.
That's different. I actually have a chance with Kim when we're older.
Okay, but so do me and your mom.
If something terrible happens to your dad, I could even marry her.
Then I'd be your father.
- That's a little too far, man. - You should take that back, Dean.
- Why? It could happen. - Take it back, Dean!
Honestly, Bradley, this is none of your concern.
Brad, Dean!
I thought you two were friends.
He has a crush on my mom!
You're going to the principal's office.
Despite Brad's blurting out our issue to Mr. Norwood,
he didn't tell our moms what our fight was really about.
Our cross-racial, intergenerational lustful desires
were too controversial to share.
Not to mention, a little creepy.
Well, at least they didn't get suspended.
Yeah, well, the principal might've shown mercy,
- but I won't. - Right. Meaning...?
Dean is grounded for two weeks.
You know what? Sounds good. Brad, too.
Lillian, can I tell you something?
Sure.
So, your family was looking at the house in our neighborhood?
Oh, yes.
Girl, Dean swears he could see you washing dishes
from the second-floor window.
Well, after the open house,
all of the neighbors were talking, and...
it seems that your Realtor is part of a blockbusting scheme.
Blockbusting?
So you mean he is using us
to scare the white folks away
so that he can get their homes at a discount.
Yeah, I'm... I'm afraid so.
I just... If your family was looking at the house,
I just thought that you should know.
Yeah.
Well, thanks for telling me.
- I'm so disappointed. - Trust me, I get it.
We were the first Jewish family to move into the neighborhood, and...
what we went through, you you don't want to know.
Well, Bill is gonna blow his top...
but at least I don't have to tell him Dean is suspended.
Oh, I'm so happy that those boys made up.
I know.
I wonder what they were fighting about.
At their age?
Probably some girl.
Okay, okay. But everything I told you
about the house and its price was true.
I'm not gonna let you put me in some kind of trick bag, man.
When he was mad, my dad talked like
he was the hero of a Blaxploitation movie,
even before there were Blaxploitation movies.
So, I guess now that you know everything,
you guys are gonna want to cut in on the deal?
- Terrence. - What?
That's not what this is about. It's about the principle.
That's right, about the principle.
Now, how much of a cut are we talking about?
I can't believe you're alright with selling out your own people.
Bill, I don't see it that way.
One of us moving into this house is still progress.
Not everybody's gonna run away 'cause Black folks move in.
I did not notice the crown moulding on the ceiling!
Oh, this is a nice house. Come on, now.
There's gotta be a better way to integrate a neighborhood.
Maybe there is, but I don't know how to do it. Do you?
And this way, at least everybody makes a tidy profit.
I just want no parts of this.
You know what? I will give you 10% over asking price.
That's my final offer.
I thought you came over here to tell him we want no parts of this house!
You right, you right, you right. I'm just getting a little carried away.
- It's such a nice house. - Come on, Cliff.
So, referrals are out of the question?
You'll find somebody. But me?
I'd rather live in a friendly all-Black neighborhood,
where we own our own homes and businesses,
than be used to scare white folks out of theirs.
- I can respect that. - That's right.
- Bill. - Terrence.
- Cliff. - Terrence.
My dad remained true to his word.
He never sold the house I grew up in.
But by the time I was grown,
most of the neighbors were white.
He avoided integration,
but gentrification got him anyway.
Our experience with the house on Ivy Lane
did lead to racial progress,
but in a more personal way.
Brad's family came over for dinner.
They were the first white guests we'd ever had.
You said it's called "challah bread"?
Oh, no! I made challah bread for dinner.
I'm just kidding. Y'all know we having cornbread.
Dean, help them with their coats.
- May I take your jacket? - Sure. What a gentleman.
Nice dress, Kim.
Our families proceeded to have a wonderful time
getting to know each other.
The evening was a total success.
Brad and I tried not to make fools out of ourselves
in front of our crushes.
We totally failed.
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