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Hello! I'm Lee Mack, and welcome to 3 By 3,
the brand-new quiz show that gives three teams of three people
three chances to win a big-money prize.
Well, I say big money. This is the BBC.
In fact, if the set doesn't fall down, we'll be happy.
Anyway, let's crack on and meet tonight's teams.
Threesome number one, will you please introduce each other?
This is Niall.
He's from Knutsford and he works in financial services.
This is Shindu.
She's a software consultant and she's from Chester.
And this is Enid. She lives in Huntingdon
and she is a retired teacher.
Right. So, Niall,
it's not often you hear this on a BBC quiz show,
what makes you a threesome?
We are members of Sing-A-Long-a-Chester,
which is a come-and-sing choir formed in lockdown,
- and we just carried it on. - It's a what choir?
Come-and-sing choir.
- Oh, a come-and-sing choir? - Yeah.
I genuinely thought that was a Welsh word that I'd never heard of.
A come-and-sing choir. A come-and-sing choir.
OK, great. And...
Enid retired teacher.
- Yes. - What did you teach?
Oh, well, I taught in a junior school,
so I taught everything, really.
You're supposed to say "kids", because it always gets a laugh.
Oh, right. Yeah.
So, what do you teach?
- Kids. - That was my joke.
Shindu, a software consultant.
What does that involve?
Yes. I currently work
for an engineering technology company,
looking after their computer systems,
ensuring things work correctly.
Great stuff. And, Niall, have you got a team name for us?
Yes, we'd like to be known as the Three Tenors.
Well, let's hope that you win more than that tonight.
Let's hear it for the Three Tenors.
Threesome number two, would you introduce each other, please?
This is my wife, Margaret.
She's a clinical trial manager,
and she makes the best fruit scones in Letchworth.
This is my daughter, Catherine,
and she's about to start an online Master's degree
in applied neuroscience.
This is my father, Stephen Oakwood, and he likes cricket.
OK, Stephen, the cricket fan.
Who do you... Who do you follow?
I quite like Nottingham.
OK. Yeah. You obviously sound like a devoted fan.
Is it just the three of you at home?
No. Catherine's great-grandmother
will be at home watching this.
- Ah! And what's her name? - Rosemary.
Rosemary? Hello, Rosemary.
How are you? I've always got thyme for you.
It's a herb gag.
And, Margaret, clinical trials manager.
I feel clever just saying it. What does that involve?
It's basically research and development
of new medical protocols.
- OK. - We like to have fun as well,
doing quizzes and board games and things like that.
So it's nice to know that our important scientists
are at work playing Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit,
so that's very reassuring to know.
And, Catherine, an online degree.
Did you not fancy actually going to university?
Well, I...
We did talk about it,
but then we decided it was better to do it online,
especially with Covid setting back studies and everything.
Oh, OK.
So, Margaret, have you got a team name for us?
We'd like to be known as the Oakwoods.
The Oakwoods. Let's hear it for them.
And our final threesome of the evening.
Would you like to introduce each other, please?
Hello. This is Gavin,
and he works for a recruitment company in Farnham.
This is Maisie, and she works for a recruitment company in Farnham.
And this is Bella, and she works for a recruitment company in Farnham.
Right. And how do you three know each other, then?
I'm actually going to guess you're flatmates. I don't know why.
You all look about the same age.
No. Well, we... we have been.
So, Bella and I, we used to be together.
We used to be in relationship. But we are no longer...
I genuinely asked you for light entertainment reasons.
Now I feel I've opened a huge can of worms.
I'm so sorry.
Now, to add awkwardness to this,
Maisie and I are now together. But we're all... We're all...
- Oh, you're now with Maisie? - Yes, we live together now.
Bella, if you could at some point go out with Maisie,
that would wrap everything up perfectly.
Well, that's nicely awkward on national television.
Bella, what do you like doing in your spare time?
Gavin enjoys this as well, actually.
- We go LARPing, which is... - LARPing?
live action role playing.
The Dungeons & Dragons type thing?
You can do Dungeons & Dragons. We do mediev...
- I can't, I'm afraid. - You could.
No, cos I'm happily married.
Gavin, what does your character do? What's his personality?
He's a knight,
so he's very chivalrous.
Right. Um...
And I've got a big, long sword that...
I don't always take it...
You don't have to tell Bella or Maisie that!
Maisie, could you suggest a character for me?
- You could be, like, an elf, or something. - How dare you!
Is elf a real thing in your world?
Well, yeah, in certain worlds, yeah, you can be an elf.
- Do you speak English? - Elven? Is it...
- Elvish. - Elvish?
- Yeah.
I'm a big fan of his early work!
That's an Elvis Presley joke.
Have you got a team name for us, please? In English!
Yes. We'd like to be known as
- Quiztopher Bigwins. - Great name.
So those are our gleesome threesomes.
Let's see how they get on with round one, 3's A Crowd.
Now, because I'm in a generous mood,
I'm going to start off by giving each team £300.
In the first part of this round,
each team will be playing as individuals.
Get a question right and we'll add another 100 to their kitty.
However, get it wrong and they'll lose 100
and be frozen out of the game.
Their team-mates will then have to choose
whether to buy them back using their hard-won cash
or send them home with their tail between their legs.
So let's play 3's A Crowd.
_
Starting with the Three Tenors. Enid, it's a music question.
Who's your favourite musician, by the way?
Oh, Cole Porter.
Oh, all the modern stuff.
Bella likes Elvish.
OK. Starting with the Three Tenors.
Enid, who was the first act
to win the Eurovision Song Contest for the UK?
Sandie Shaw.
Is correct. £100 straight in there.
Puppet On A String, 1967.
Niall, which Greek Olympian was god of the sea?
There is a fish and chip shop near me called this.
- Oh, OK. - It's Poseidon.
It's the correct answer. £100!
Thank God you didn't say Harry Ramsden.
OK, Shindu. What are you like at geography?
Hmm. Not bad.
OK. That's a shame. It's about maths.
What is the cube root of 64?
Um...
Seven?
I'm afraid it's not the right answer.
It's four.
So you lose £100.
And I'm afraid you are frozen out of the game.
But don't worry. If your team decide to unfreeze you,
you will be back with us.
It is time for the Oakwoods.
Who came up with that imaginative team name?
No, it wasn't.
It was you, was it, Margaret? Don't worry about it.
My mum and dad had nine months to come up with a name,
and all they could come up with was Lee.
So do you think you can improve on the Three Tenors' score, Stephen?
I hope so, yes.
Right. Let's see how you get on. Stephen, geography.
What is the smallest US state by area?
Margaret looks like she might know it, but no conferring.
Catherine, do you know it?
Stephen, do you know it?
Smallest US state by area?
No.
Hawaii?
I'm sorry. It's Rhode Island.
You do lose £100 and you are frozen.
But maybe only for now. Let's find out.
- Margaret, did you know that one? - Yes.
OK, let's see if you know this one.
It's on football.
Who was captain of the England team
who lifted the Jules Rimet Trophy in 1966?
Bobby Charlton.
Moore!
Bobby Moore.
I'm afraid the answer is Bobby Moore,
but you did say Bobby Charlton first, and that is incorrect.
So I'm afraid you've lost £100
and you are frozen out of the game.
Catherine, it's down to you to save your family.
Are you ready?
Yes.
OK. It's on Shakespeare.
What is the only Shakespeare play with an animal in the title?
Are you a fan of Shakespeare?
Not really.
I don't suppose it comes up much in a science degree, does it?
Much Ado About Photosynthesis.
Nothing from Catherine on that one there.
What is the only Shakespeare play with an animal in the title?
The Taming Of The Shrew.
Is the right answer. Well done.
£100. And you've kept your family in the game.
Well done, Oakwoods.
Right, then, Quiztopher Bigwins.
It's a question for you, Bella.
- It's on movies. Here we go. - Yeah.
Who won an Oscar for directing the film Slumdog Millionaire?
Danny Boyle.
Is correct. £100.
Gavin, which London Underground line is represented
by the colour green on the Tube map?
We used to live along that line and that is...
Did we? I don't remember that.
Uh... Bella and I used to live along that line.
Not that again!
Look, I've got to confess. I might as well say it now.
Bella, Maisie, I also used to go out with Gavin!
I thought I'd just get it out now.
- What's the answer, Gavin? - It's the District line.
It's the right answer. £100.
And, Maisie, on history.
Who was the first monarch to live in Buckingham Palace?
Um...
I'm going to take a guess. Queen Victoria?
It's the right answer. That's £100.
Well done to the Bigwins.
You have lost nobody, and you're all still in the game.
So, at the midway point of round one,
we have the Three Tenors on £400,
the Oakwoods on £200,
and the current leaders, Quiztopher Bigwins,
on a maximum £600!
So now the Tenors and Oakwoods have a decision to make.
In the quickfire round,
they can win £100 for each correct answer,
so more players could mean more pounds.
However, if they want to buy a player back, it will cost them,
and we will take £100 from their kitty.
So, Tenors, what do you want to do?
Is Shindu worth £100?
We... We hope so.
You hope so. OK. So you've decided to bring her back?
Yes, please.
That's good. You're all singing from the same hymn sheet.
Shindu, welcome back. You're now back in the game.
Now, Oakwoods, the burden is on you, Catherine.
Do you want to bring back Mum? Do you want to bring back Dad?
You can bring back both, of course.
But that would completely wipe out your kitty,
which is something the vet once said to me.
It's a very sad story. Don't ask.
So, what do you want to do?
Um...
I think I'm gonna unfreeze Mum.
Margaret, you're unfrozen. You're all thawed out.
- How does that feel? - Good.
- So what do we do about Stephen? - What do you think?
You know what I think.
Say what you mean, Margaret.
It puts us a long way behind.
Just to remind you, if Stephen isn't brought back,
that is him out of the game for good.
It's all right, Cathy. I don't mind.
Are we saying goodbye to Dad, Catherine?
Sorry, Dad. Yes.
Oh, Stephen, our cricket fan.
Sorry to say, you've been bowled a googly
and you're going back to the pavilion. Have you enjoyed yourself?
I've loved it, yes.
Well, hopefully your sacrifice will mean that your family carry on
and get through to the next round.
Let's hear it for Stephen.
Quiztopher Bigwins still has a full house.
They're looking strong as we begin the quickfire round.
Our teams have 60 seconds.
It's £100 for a correct answer,
but they lose 100 if they're wrong.
The team with the least amount of money at the end
of this round will be going home.
So, fingers on buzzers.
Your time starts now.
What is the name of the snowman voiced by Josh Gad
in the animated film Frozen?
Oakwoods?
- Olaf. - Correct.
A pink ball is worth how many points in snooker?
Tenors?
- Six. - Correct.
Who was the longest-serving 20th-century prime minister?
Oakwoods?
- Winston Churchill. - Incorrect.
- Tenors? - Margaret Thatcher.
Correct. In which year did George Orwell
finish writing Nineteen Eighty-Four?
- Bigwins? - 1948.
Correct. Which element in the periodic table
has the abbreviation Fe?
Oakwoods?
- Iron. - Correct.
In the Teletubbies, what colour is Dipsy?
Bigwins?
- Green. - Correct.
In the Harry Potter books,
how many players make up a quidditch team?
Bigwins?
- Seven. - Correct.
Which planet has moons called lo and Europa?
Bigwins?
- Saturn. - Incorrect.
- Oakwoods? - Jupiter.
Correct. Which Roald Dahl heroine
has the surname Wormwood? Oakwoods?
- Matilda. - Correct.
Who was the self-appointed...
- Oakwoods? - Matthew Hopkins.
Witchfinder General? Correct.
Which TV family lives at 742 Evergreen Terrace?
Oakwoods?
- The Simpsons. - Correct.
What...
That's it.
Your time is up.
So, looking at the scores at the end of the quickfire round,
we have the Three Tenors on £500,
the Oakwoods on £600,
and Quiztopher Bigwins on £800.
Catherine, what a very strong finish.
- Where did that come from? - I've been practising.
How do you practise general knowledge?
Have you just learnt the whole of the internet?
Three Tenors, I am so sorry, but we have to lose you.
Enid, it's time to say goodbye.
Have you enjoyed yourself?
Yes. Yes. We've had a wonderful time.
And good luck to the other teams.
Oh, very nice.
You go back to Cheshire with £500.
Niall, what are you going to do with the money?
Well, every now and again, we sing at an old folks' home
round the corner from where Enid lives.
And we thought that we would like to make them a CD
of some of their favourite songs that we sing for them, so...
That's a lovely thing to do. And you've been great sports.
So, best of luck with your choir
and thanks for playing 3 By 3.
So now we move on to the second round. It's 3 Point Turn.
_
Our remaining teams have a three-by-three grid
with a total of nine categories.
Get a question right and they turn that square.
Make a line of three horizontally, vertically or diagonally,
and they've won the round and they're through to the big money final.
It's basically just noughts and crosses.
And, yes, someone got paid for coming up with this!
So, in this round, there's £300 for a correct answer,
but they lose 100 if they get a question wrong,
and the other team gets the chance to steal.
So let's play 3 Point Turn.
Quiztopher Bigwins.
You have the biggest kitty,
so you get the chance to go first.
- What do you fancy? - Zebra, please.
OK.
So, a question on zebras
for that all-important centre square.
And it's actually on music.
Which member of The Beatles went first across the zebra crossing
on the famous Abbey Road album cover?
It's John. John's first.
Oh, OK. Pretty certain. Let's have a look.
Let's do the 3 Point Turn.
Right answer. And there's Biggins to prove it.
So, Oakwoods,
you've lost control of that all-important centre square.
So what category would you like?
We'll take bat.
OK. You're going for bat.
I'm not sure you're going to be happy with this one,
because it's about cricket.
Stephen, come back! All is forgiven!
OK. Do you know much about cricket, Catherine?
Not really, no.
All right, well, let's hear the question. You never know.
Who was the first player to score 10,000 runs in test cricket?
What are you thinking, Catherine?
That I wish I'd picked Dad.
I don't know any cricket players.
We just need to put our minds together.
- All I know is Tiger Woods. - I need to hurry you.
Catherine?
Sunil Gavaskar?
Sunil Gavaskar is what you're going for.
Let's see if you're right. Give us the 3 Point Turn.
Well done, Catherine.
It is the right answer.
Sunil Gavaskar of India.
And I bet you're glad you didn't go for Tiger Woods, Margaret,
because, in fact, he's a golfer! Oh!
So, Quiztopher Bigwins, where do you want to go next?
I think we'll go with donkey, because
I have a feeling I might know what the question is.
OK. Very confident. Donkey to block the Oakwoods
and for a chance of a line down the middle.
Here is your question. It's on films.
In the 2001 film Shrek,
who voiced the character of Donkey?
That what you thought it would be, Gavin?
Yes. Um...
And I knew it, and it's just...
It's just gone out my head, actually. Um...
- What do you think? - Bella, Maisie, any ideas?
I was born in 2001, so...
Wow.
I've genuinely got a toothbrush older than you.
It's that same guy who did...
The Nutty Professor. It's the same actor.
I've just got this image of David Jason... Just...
There must be a connection there somewhere.
No, I think... I think he's American,
- an American... - I've got to hurry you.
If your instinct is saying David Jason, then...
I can't get David Jason out of my head.
I think we'll go with David Jason.
OK. You're saying David Jason.
Was David Jason the voice of Donkey in Shrek?
Give us the 3 Point Turn.
I'm afraid he wasn't.
You lose £100 and the Oakwoods have a chance to steal.
Catherine knows it.
Eddie Murphy.
Eddie Murphy. Let's see if you're right.
Give us the 3 Point Turn.
Yes, it was Eddie Murphy!
You steal the square.
You were right, Bella. Eddie Murphy was also in The Nutty Professor.
Your team-mates should have listened to you.
So, now, Oakwoods, Margaret and Catherine,
where do you want to go next?
I think I know the answer already.
We'll go for monkey, please.
Right. Monkey to win the round
and go through to the big money final.
Good luck to you. It's on music.
The Arctic Monkeys had a number-one hit
with their first ever single.
What was it called?
This is more your cup of tea.
- You're not a fan of the Arctic Monkeys, Margaret? - No.
It sounds like a research project I was once involved in.
Um...
What do you think, darling?
I'm not sure.
You a music fan, Catherine?
Well, we're not really allowed music at home, so no.
We're more of a Radio 4 house, really.
Quiztopher Bigwins chomping at the bit there,
getting ready to steal.
Just say what comes into your head.
I don't actually know it.
Gonna need an answer.
Um...
I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor.
Oh, thank you very much!
Oh, is that your answer?
Right. Let's see if you're right.
To get through to the big money final,
give us the 3 Point Turn.
Oh. Something gone wrong here, but we'll lose it in the edit.
Actually, we won't lose it in the edit. It just got a little laugh!
It's the right answer!
Catherine, you've done it again.
Oakwoods, you are through to the final round. Congratulations.
Oh, Quiztopher Bigwins!
You've been great contestants.
It was very close in the end there, wasn't it?
Thank you. Well, I think the best team won in the end, so...
Are you gonna be kicking yourself about that David Jason answer, Gavin?
It is ridiculous, isn't it? They couldn't be any more different.
You did really well. Congratulations.
And you did manage to build up a fantastic kitty of £1,000.
- What are you gonna do with the money, Maisie? - Well, I think we all want to go
to the Isle of Wight Festival next year,
so hopefully that money will go to this.
- OK, all right. All together? - Yeah.
Yes, course you are.
Thanks for playing.
Quiztopher Bigwins, everyone!
So, Catherine and Margaret, mother and daughter from Letchworth,
currently have a very healthy-looking kitty of £1,500,
but we want to give them more than that.
Margaret, is there a particular amount
you'd be happy to go home with today?
No, I don't think so. Is there?
It's just been the experience, really.
Well, let's see what happens in the final round.
It's 3 Blind Twice.
_
So, here's how it works.
The Oakwoods have the option to play three final questions,
and a correct answer will treble their kitty each time,
but a wrong answer will see it drop back down to £1,500.
Now, for this round, there's no conferring
and I'll be putting one of them into the soundproof booth.
To win the cash,
they both need to give me matching correct answers.
So, who wants to be locked up?
Catherine?
I will.
Very good. Let's pop you inside, then, Margaret.
Right. Now, hopefully, you can still hear me, Margaret.
Yes, I can hear you.
OK. And when we switch the sound off...
Margaret, would you like a double gin and tonic?
She definitely can't hear anything.
So, Catherine, anything you want to get off your chest
whilst your mum can't hear anything?
Oh, she's actually thinking about it! Brilliant!
Right, let's bring the sound back up.
- Can you hear me again, Margaret? - Yes.
Great. Now, I'm going to ask you the question first, Catherine.
Then I will come to you, Margaret.
And both of you must be correct
in order to progress.
So here we go with question one. Good luck.
Let's play 3 Blind Twice.
For £4,500,
what is the longest river in Europe?
The longest river in Europe, Catherine.
Turn Margaret's booth off, please.
So, Catherine, geography question. Seen much of Europe?
No. I haven't really been anywhere.
OK. So, longest river in Europe.
Do you have an answer for me, please?
The Volga.
OK, let's see if Mum agrees and if it's right.
- Margaret, are you still with us? - Yes.
Right. Mother and daughter,
so you're obviously very close,
but are you on the same wavelength?
I knew this one anyway. It's the Volga.
OK. So, for £4,500,
they both think the River Volga
is the longest European river.
Is that correct?
Yes, it is!
Congratulations. You are both right.
So you now have a choice.
You can leave with your 4,500,
or you can risk taking a second question
and treble your money again to £13,500.
I think we'll play on.
Catherine, Mum seems pretty definite.
Are you happy with that decision?
I have to kind of go on what she says, really, so...
Yeah.
Oh, dear. Everything all right at home?
You don't need me to ring Childline or anything?
We'll play on.
They're playing on! Very brave.
So, for 13,500,
which influencer was the first person
to reach 100 million followers
on the social media app TikTok?
I'll give you both a clue. It's not H from Steps.
Turn Margaret's booth off, please.
Catherine, I'm 54,
so obviously I don't know anything of TikTok and influencers,
but what about you? Do you know anything about this world?
Charli D'Amelio.
Right. Straight in there. You're not messing about.
So is that your answer?
- Yes. - Do you follow her on TikTok?
No... I thought it was a boy.
Oh, right. OK.
Do you think this is something your mum will know?
I doubt it.
Well, let's switch her back on and find out, shall we?
Margaret, are you back with us?
- Yes, I am. - OK.
What's your answer?
Well, I know TikTok's a thing,
because I've heard the girls in my lab talking about it.
What are you thinking?
All I'm seeing is an image of David Jason.
- Not him again! - I know that's not right.
Don't know why I should be thinking of him.
I'm just getting a mental block for some reason.
Ah, yes, it's come to me.
I think it's Charli D'Amelio.
Charli D'Amelio. Well, that's what Catherine said.
We've two matching answers. But are they the right answers?
Yes, they are!
What a result!
Mother and daughter both coming up with the goods
for a whopping £13,500.
I don't know about you two, but I need a lie-down after that,
but I can't, because we have one potential final question
worth an incredible...
£40,500.
What would you do with that, Catherine?
I'd quite like to go travelling, actually.
See the world.
New Zealand, maybe.
Sounds brilliant. Margaret, what about you?
Well, we had talked about digging out our basement at home.
Catherine's going to need somewhere to practise and pursue her studies.
That would be a nice gift to be able to give her.
Well, who knows? Maybe you could do both.
And remember, if only one of you is right,
you will still win your original kitty of £1,500.
But if both of you are wrong, you go away with nothing.
So I hardly dare even ask this.
Do you want to take your 13,500,
or do you want to risk it for £40,500?
OK, let's gamble.
Yes.
They're gonna gamble!
Right. The very best of luck to both of you.
For £40,500.
Tracy Lauren Marrow is better known
as which US rapper?
This is so tense,
I'm not even gonna do another gag about H from Steps!
Turn the booth off, please.
Now, personally, I wouldn't have a clue about this, Catherine.
You said earlier you're not really a big musical house,
but is it ringing any bells for you?
Well, I'm thinking the name Tracy...
which could be male or female.
Tracy starts with a T, so...
I'm going to say Ice-T.
- OK. So that's your answer? - Yes.
Let's see if Margaret agrees.
- Margaret, can you hear me? - I can.
Tracy Lauren Marrow is better known as which US rapper?
Fur Q.
Sorry?
I think the answer is Fur Q.
F-U-R-Q.
Final answer.
Fur Q?
Well, I have to tell you now
that Catherine gave me a different answer, so I'm afraid
you will not be going home with your jackpot tonight.
It's unlucky, but, still, for £1,500,
did either of them get it right?
There we go. The answer is Ice-T, Margaret.
And you knew that, did you?
But all's not lost.
You're still going away with a fantastic £1,500!
That could get you to New Zealand, couldn't it, Catherine?
Mm. One way, maybe.
Over my dead body.
Come and join me, ladies.
Well, that's all we've got time for
- this week on 3 By 3. - Catherine, open this door!
Thanks to all our fantastic threesomes.
- Catherine! - Catherine, come and join me.
- The doctors were right! - Sadly, the Oakwood family...
- I should have destroyed you when you were... - didn't win the jackpot,
but join us next week when we...
Get the producers out here n...
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That was a shock...
It just got to show you that you never know
what to expect for Inside No. 9...