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www.subtitulamos.tv

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I'm off now.

3
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OK.

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Are you gonna be all right
getting to work?

5
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Yes, don't worry.

6
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I'm not worried. Why would I be worried?

7
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No reason.

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Go. I'm fine.

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- OK, I'll see you later.
- Yep.

10
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_

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Hi, Peggy. It's Gareth.

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I'm not... feeling too great,
to be honest.

13
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It must've come on overnight.

14
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Yeah, yeah, I... I think I better had.

15
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Would you tell Dean I won't be in today?

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Oh, thanks, Peggy.

17
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Bye.

18
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One, two, three.

19
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Good morning, Mr Magpie.

20
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I'm sorry you're on your own.

21
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So, now I've used up all my sorrow,
nothing bad can happen.

22
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Understand?

23
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So, 0808 1570685

24
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is the number to call for

25
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today's very special phone-in.

26
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Hoping to hear from you
this Friday morning,

27
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,220
but it's not any old Friday morning,
it's Friday the 13th!

28
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So, no doubt you're all taking
extra care of yourselves

29
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and you won't end up in A&E,
having driven into a lamppost!

30
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Our fantastic NHS staff are gonna be
just twiddling their thumbs today.

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Nothing to do, everyone's
being so careful.

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Well, I hope you get to put your feet
up and have a well-deserved rest.

33
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Here's a song just for you.

34
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Hello?

35
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,632
You've reached the Dermot O'Leary...

36
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Oh, hello.

37
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You're in. That's lucky.

38
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I've got a parcel for ya.

39
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Just, er, leave it on
the doorstep, thanks.

40
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Oh, I can't. You've got to sign for it.

41
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Ugh. Could you come back later?
My wife will be in.

42
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Oh, not really. I've got a round to do.

43
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Besides, I think it's for you.

44
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- Gareth Beckman?
- Yes, yes, that's me.

45
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Well, if you can't do it today, it'll
have to go back to the sorting office,

46
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and what with it being Friday,
it'll be stuck there all weekend.

47
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All right. Fine.

48
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Your pen's not working.
Have you got another one?

49
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,900
Oh, no. Sorry, love.

50
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,340
We usually have them digital ones
where you use your finger,

51
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,780
but I dropped mine this morning

52
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while I were unwrapping
a Belvita and it broke.

53
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Device, not the Belvita.

54
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Wait there.

55
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Don't come in!

56
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Please.

57
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Not a single bloody pen!

58
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Ow.

59
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Damn it!

60
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Sorry, I couldn't just quickly
use your loo, could I?

61
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I literally just told you not to come in.

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I'm busting. Dr Mikos says
I've got to stay hydrated

63
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cos of my condition, but I can't just nip
behind a privet like a man does, can I?

64
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Me friend Enid got me one of them Shewees

65
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you know, where you funnel it,

66
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:55,980
but me aim was off.

67
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- Ruined a good pair of Uggs, that did.
- Yeah. I'm sorry, no.

68
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I'm not going for a crafty poo
if that's what you think.

69
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All right! Look, it's through there.
Just be quick.

70
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Hello?

71
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Ah, yes. Well, I wanted
to point out to Dermot O'Leary

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that a study conducted in 1993

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by Scanlon, Luben, Scanlon and Singleton

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concluded that the risk
of hospital admission

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actually goes up by as much
as 52% on Friday the 13th,

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so, you know, get your facts
right and stop broadcasting

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such irresponsible crap!

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Yes, you're welcome. Goodbye.

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Hello?

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- What's wrong?
- I can't get out!

81
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What do you mean? Just unlock the door.

82
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I can't! The handle's broke.

83
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What have you done to it?

84
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Nothing! It just came off in me hand.

85
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Could you hurry up, please?
I don't like confined spaces.

86
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I need to get a screwdriver. Wait there.

87
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I don't have much choice, do I?

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No. Out.

89
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- Hey, you, get out!
- I can't!

90
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Not you!

91
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Hello...

92
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Hello. What are you doing under there?

93
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Hey?

94
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Argh!

95
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Shit!

96
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Hello.

97
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Come on!

98
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Come on.

99
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Here, come on, where are you?

100
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Come on...

101
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Hello!

102
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OK...

103
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Do you know...

104
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a man came up to me the other day

105
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and said, "Have you seen my cat?

106
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"He's got black fur,

107
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"patchy with mange.

108
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"He's missing his right ear,

109
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"he's blind in one eye,

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"and only has three legs

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"due to a recent traffic accident."

112
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I said, "What's his name?"

113
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And the man said...

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"Lucky."

115
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I'm not being funny,
but I've got library books

116
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that need taking back!

117
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Dr Mikos said there's a
danger of me having a fit.

118
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Oh, for fuck's sake!

119
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Who are you?

120
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Barry Styles, locksmith.

121
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Apparently, you've trapped a lady
in your downstairs toilet.

122
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I didn't trap her.
She went in of her own accord!

123
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I don't need to know the details, sir.

124
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I just need you to know
it's an £80 call-out fee.

125
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Get me out! I can't breathe!

126
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I'm not paying that. I didn't call you.

127
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I'll pay it! I'll pay anything.
Just get me out!

128
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I was about to get you out.
I just need to get a screwdriver!

129
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- Can you move this?
- Yeah. Sorry about that.

130
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I have to bring everything in from
the van or it all gets nicked!

131
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Kids today! I don't know!

132
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Can you shift it, please? I can't get by.

133
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One sec.

134
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Hiya, love. Did you find it all right?

135
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,640
Yeah, I'm at number 9...

136
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I'm getting a bit dizzy!

137
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I'm coming! Just...

138
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- This might set me fits off!
- Hold on.

139
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What's going on? I can hear banging!

140
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Hello!

141
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I've got tinnitus as well, you know!

142
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,946
Ever since I saw Whitesnake
at the Albert Hall.

143
00:10:02,556 --> 00:10:05,351
I told them the speakers were too loud!

144
00:10:05,506 --> 00:10:07,586
I wrote them a letter,

145
00:10:07,636 --> 00:10:09,456
but I didn't hear anything back.

146
00:10:09,507 --> 00:10:11,347
Well, apart from my tinnitus.

147
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I'm not paying if I need syringing again!

148
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:22,840
Oh, no.

149
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,000
Oh!

150
00:10:35,422 --> 00:10:37,900
Oh, dear me, I'm sorry about that.

151
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,100
Are you all right?

152
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,325
Yes, I'm fine.

153
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,700
I just want both of you
to leave as soon as possible.

154
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,700
I can't have people in the house today.

155
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,380
- Grandad! Grandad!
- Hello, cherub!

156
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:49,620
Who's this, now?

157
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,540
This is me granddaughter, Bethany.

158
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,820
I've just gotta look after her
for a couple of hours.

159
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,620
Me daughter-in-law's got band practice.

160
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,435
Thanks for doing this, Barry.

161
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I won't be long.

162
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,441
I'll leave her bag with you.

163
00:11:00,489 --> 00:11:01,749
Oh, hello!

164
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,180
Are you the fella that's
locked a woman in his toilet?

165
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,780
- Yes, he is!
- No, I'm not.

166
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,740
Well, Bethany will be no trouble.

167
00:11:07,759 --> 00:11:09,937
It's just we've got a special gig today

168
00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:11,780
and we need to work on My Ding-a-Ling.

169
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,500
Can I ask you to step outside, please?

170
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,380
One second.
I've got to sort her lunch box.

171
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,460
- I can't have those in here!
- Those what?

172
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,607
- Peacock feathers.
- Are you allergic?

173
00:11:19,627 --> 00:11:20,802
Yes, to the evil eye,

174
00:11:20,822 --> 00:11:22,740
and you're covered in them and
they're incredibly bad luck!

175
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,900
Don't say that. They're lovely.

176
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,140
Look, feel them.

177
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,100
Urgh, get them away from me!
Get out! Get out, get out!

178
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,140
Hey, hey, come on, now.
There's no need for that!

179
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,580
It's all right, Barry.

180
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:37,055
Now, you be a good girl for Grandad
and Mummy will see you later.

181
00:11:37,376 --> 00:11:39,700
Is there any chance I could
nip to your upstairs loo?

182
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,075
- Definitely not.
- Why?

183
00:11:41,095 --> 00:11:42,558
Because we can't cross on the stairs.

184
00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:45,060
Someone obviously got out of the
wrong side of the bed this morning.

185
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,317
- Don't say that.
- I'll have to dust off my Shewee.

186
00:11:47,356 --> 00:11:48,980
See you later, darling.

187
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,980
Come on, then, let's do
a nice picture in the kitchen.

188
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,820
Yes, make yourself at home,
why don't you?!

189
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,903
Have you got that screwdriver yet?

190
00:11:55,925 --> 00:11:57,685
I'm getting it, I'm getting it!

191
00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:00,860
I don't know if you want
to hear this now,

192
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,500
but your flush is broken, by the way.

193
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,060
- Yes, of course it is!
- What with that and the lock,

194
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,740
well, they say bad luck comes in threes.

195
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,360
What's number two?

196
00:12:11,812 --> 00:12:14,512
Your flush is broken, by the way.

197
00:12:14,642 --> 00:12:16,122
Unbelievable.

198
00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:18,765
Thanking you, sir!

199
00:12:18,785 --> 00:12:22,000
Right, let's establish
what we're looking at here.

200
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,544
Excuse me, where are your...?

201
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,700
Oh, no!

202
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,686
You can't put shoes on the table!

203
00:12:29,706 --> 00:12:31,420
It's all right. They're brand-new!

204
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,780
Well, that's even worse!

205
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,360
Stop! Stop!

206
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:37,729
It wards off evil spirits.

207
00:12:38,829 --> 00:12:40,067
Argh!

208
00:12:44,843 --> 00:12:46,303
Is everything OK, sir?

209
00:12:46,324 --> 00:12:47,894
Please, just be quick.

210
00:12:47,914 --> 00:12:49,455
Yes, hurry up!

211
00:12:49,475 --> 00:12:52,260
Yeah, all right, madam.
Can you not do that, please?

212
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:55,880
You're jiggling the mechanism and
making my life even more difficult.

213
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:59,580
May I ask how the lady came to
be inside the bathroom, sir?

214
00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:01,780
She wanted a pee. What else
would she be doing in there?

215
00:13:01,821 --> 00:13:03,123
Well, you tell me.

216
00:13:03,154 --> 00:13:05,564
I don't want any more nasty surprises.

217
00:13:05,675 --> 00:13:07,575
Well, there might be one.

218
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,060
Especially now there's
a child on the premises.

219
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,056
Yes, a child you brought here.
I didn't ask for any of this!

220
00:13:13,362 --> 00:13:15,862
Here we go!

221
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,260
Oh, finally!

222
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,621
Oh, my God!

223
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,700
Oh, thank you!

224
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,700
Deep breaths. You're all right.

225
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,420
Now, just for my own peace of mind,

226
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,540
you went in there
of your own free will, yes?

227
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:27,993
The gentleman didn't force ya?

228
00:13:28,013 --> 00:13:30,340
Cos I do know the words
for a citizen's arrest.

229
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,674
- What?
- Oh, the room's spinning.

230
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,209
I think I'm gonna be sick!

231
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,460
Yeah, the internal mechanism's buggered,

232
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,116
by the look of things. Heh.

233
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,980
It'll be £150 for a new tailpiece,

234
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,114
- plus labour, of course...
- Of course.

235
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,180
I might've been able to salvage it,

236
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,050
but she's been hacking away at it

237
00:13:49,081 --> 00:13:51,300
with this screw, by the look of things.

238
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,854
Where did you get...?

239
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,896
Oh, my God!

240
00:13:56,243 --> 00:13:57,479
Help me!

241
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:58,997
Don't let it drop.

242
00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:01,184
Can you... Can you put it back in?

243
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:03,060
- It'll cost ya.
- Just do it!

244
00:14:04,141 --> 00:14:06,221
I don't need any more bad luck today.

245
00:14:18,726 --> 00:14:21,385
Imagine you're on a beach...

246
00:14:22,287 --> 00:14:25,425
You're looking out
at a wide open horizon.

247
00:14:26,376 --> 00:14:29,744
You can feel the cool
breeze on your face.

248
00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:40,850
Can you feel it?

249
00:14:40,988 --> 00:14:42,148
Yes.

250
00:14:43,423 --> 00:14:46,443
There's not another soul
for miles around...

251
00:14:46,628 --> 00:14:50,008
the waves are lapping,
the sun's shining...

252
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,180
Oh, have I got sunblock on?
I burn easily.

253
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,182
Yeah, yeah, you do. You put
it on earlier. Factor 20.

254
00:14:55,202 --> 00:14:57,340
- Only 20?
- Sorry, 50.

255
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,940
I've not got me glasses on.

256
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,383
Just think about how calm you are.

257
00:15:02,617 --> 00:15:04,840
Not a care in the world.

258
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,377
Oh, it smells of coffee, this breeze.

259
00:15:08,398 --> 00:15:09,620
It stinks.

260
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,660
Look, this is ridiculous! I'm sorry!

261
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,031
There's a toddler out there.
God knows what she's getting up to!

262
00:15:14,051 --> 00:15:16,660
Me daughter-in-law's
on her way over, I told ya.

263
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,345
Bethany's a good girl. She
won't get up to any mischief.

264
00:15:19,365 --> 00:15:21,392
I should never have answered
the door, today of all days.

265
00:15:21,412 --> 00:15:22,820
I knew it as well! I knew it!

266
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,660
You don't believe in all that
Friday the 13th stuff, do you?

267
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,825
Yes, of course I do!
Look where I've ended up,

268
00:15:27,858 --> 00:15:29,727
trapped in a toilet with you two.

269
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,460
But that's got nothing
to do with the date.

270
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,140
It's just circumstance.

271
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,940
Oh, so says Mr Shoes On The Table!

272
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,370
- You're inviting bad luck.
- From who, though?

273
00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:42,839
The universe! I opened the door
and, boom, utter chaos!

274
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,887
That's a very negative attitude,
if you don't mind me saying.

275
00:15:45,907 --> 00:15:47,260
Tell that to Jesus,

276
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,020
crucified on so-called Good Friday,

277
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,140
after the Last Supper
where there were 13 guests.

278
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,380
I didn't know they had Fridays
in them days.

279
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,540
Of course they did!

280
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,860
Chaucer talks about it
in the Middle Ages!

281
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,980
"And on a Friday fell all his mischance."

282
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,020
The Knights Templar were tortured

283
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,460
by King Philip IV of France
on Friday the 13th 1307.

284
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,720
Public hangings happened on a Friday.

285
00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:08,580
And there were 13 steps
up to the gallows.

286
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,300
And what about all them kids
that got chopped up by a madman

287
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,380
at that lake in America? That was...

288
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,496
Friday the 13th.

289
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,918
Yeah. They made a film about it.

290
00:16:17,594 --> 00:16:20,860
There's lots of good things
happen on a Friday too, though.

291
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,820
The end of the working week,
fish and chips...

292
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,980
I bought my big telly on Black Friday.

293
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,220
Mind you, it was half
the bloody price a month later.

294
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,740
It's swings and roundabouts, in't it?

295
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,342
You've pepped up all of a sudden.

296
00:16:30,362 --> 00:16:32,193
What happened to your claustrophobia?

297
00:16:32,564 --> 00:16:34,260
It's being on this lovely beach.

298
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:37,700
Hmm. Just makes me feel so relaxed.

299
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,460
What time is it, by the way?

300
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:40,653
Er...

301
00:16:41,451 --> 00:16:43,631
Ooh, I dunno. My watch has stopped.

302
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,100
- Oh, no...
- 13 minutes past.

303
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,520
Right, that's it!

304
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,043
Dana, what...?

305
00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:03,150
What are you doing here?

306
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,332
Is everything OK? Are you OK?

307
00:17:05,353 --> 00:17:06,539
It's fine.

308
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:08,032
I'm fine.

309
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,762
Why didn't you let us out?

310
00:17:09,782 --> 00:17:11,540
And who...? Who's this?

311
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,768
Dr Marcel Rogers.

312
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,612
Your wife asked me to prepare
this treatment for you.

313
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:19,293
Treatment?

314
00:17:19,616 --> 00:17:21,116
What do you mean?

315
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,089
I didn't know what else to do.

316
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,952
Allow me to introduce my
friends, Sue and Johnny Robbins,

317
00:17:26,972 --> 00:17:30,180
from the Little Marlow
Amateur Dramatics Society.

318
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,928
At your service!

319
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,811
The magic of theatre.

320
00:17:37,209 --> 00:17:40,020
And let's not forget
our juve lead, Shelley.

321
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,340
Come on in. No need to be ashamed.

322
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,620
Such a pleasure working with you.

323
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,540
They kindly took time out
of rehearsing Half A Sixpence

324
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,180
to be here today.

325
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,500
I do hope we gave you what you wanted.

326
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,486
The reviews are in and you were
excellent, dear, as always.

327
00:17:55,506 --> 00:17:58,316
Oh, you know
I don't read reviews, darling!

328
00:17:58,336 --> 00:18:00,810
Dana, what... what is all this?

329
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,613
I know it's extreme, but Dr Rogers said
it was the only thing that would work.

330
00:18:03,633 --> 00:18:04,941
Exposure therapy,

331
00:18:05,074 --> 00:18:07,844
or exposure in vivo, as we call it,

332
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,671
putting you, Mr Beckman,
in direct contact

333
00:18:10,692 --> 00:18:12,593
with your greatest fears.

334
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:17,340
Your wife explained to me that
your paraskevidekatriaphobia

335
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,340
was becoming unmanageable.

336
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,900
My what?

337
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,103
Paraskevidekatriaphobia.

338
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,340
It's a fear of Friday the 13th.

339
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:29,731
Puts me in mind of the Gilbert
and Sullivan we did last year.

340
00:18:29,856 --> 00:18:33,000
# I am the very model of
a paraskevidekatriaphobiac! #

341
00:18:34,975 --> 00:18:37,835
So... what, you've all just
been tricking me?

342
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,940
To... To what end? To give me a stroke?

343
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,940
I appreciate that the experience

344
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,940
is very anxiety-inducing, Mr Beckman,

345
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,180
but you needed to stay
in the situation long enough

346
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,407
for your irrational fear to subside.

347
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,500
For that, we needed to create

348
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,700
a fully realised worst-case scenario,

349
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,060
hence the arrival
of your unwanted guests.

350
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,820
I just loved all that improv
on the doorstep.

351
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,500
I mean, Belvita... where
did that come from?

352
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,284
It was magnificent! So, so funny.

353
00:19:08,304 --> 00:19:09,980
Oh, bless you.

354
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,420
But it was the teeth, I think,
and the accent.

355
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,140
Funnily enough, we both
just read them as Northern.

356
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,180
She was exactly the same
in last year's Ayckbourn.

357
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,236
Well, maybe not exactly the same,

358
00:19:20,256 --> 00:19:21,860
but thank you, darling.

359
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,540
And Johnny here
went all Method, of course.

360
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,060
We had tools out
all over the living room.

361
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,177
Mm, I read a very interesting article
in the Mail about Cumberbatch

362
00:19:30,205 --> 00:19:33,699
and I thought that was the
way to go with Barry Styles.

363
00:19:34,358 --> 00:19:36,898
But I shall miss him, that's for sure.

364
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,652
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- Gareth!

365
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,660
Who is THIS?!

366
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,838
Where did you get her? Sylvia Young?

367
00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:46,149
No, but she is on the waiting list.

368
00:19:46,490 --> 00:19:47,670
My granddaughter,

369
00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:49,700
who did a wonderful
performance, I thought.

370
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,875
Absolutely. Bravo!

371
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,260
She will make a first-class
Rosalind when she's older.

372
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,435
I'm sorry, but this is bullshit!

373
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,660
You're all talking like
what I'm saying is irrational,

374
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,180
but it isn't!
As I just explained in there!

375
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,820
That was a lovely scene, by the way.

376
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,438
It wasn't a scene. It was real!

377
00:20:05,458 --> 00:20:08,180
I was explaining the real world
history of this phenomenon.

378
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,740
What phenomenon?

379
00:20:10,079 --> 00:20:11,276
Er, bad luck!

380
00:20:11,326 --> 00:20:13,706
It's not luck, though, Gareth!

381
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,546
You avoid walking under a ladder

382
00:20:15,566 --> 00:20:17,526
because something
might fall on your head.

383
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,500
You won't put shoes on the table
because you're gonna eat off it.

384
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,660
Actors don't like saying "Macbeth"

385
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,853
because there are sword fights in it
and people get genuinely injured!

386
00:20:25,873 --> 00:20:28,965
Oh, no, she mentioned the Scottish play!

387
00:20:31,579 --> 00:20:33,098
Piss pots!

388
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,527
And you think I'M the one
that needs fucking therapy?

389
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,340
That'll be our cue for the interval.

390
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,340
Shall we? Come on, Bethany.

391
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,400
There's some lovely cake waiting
for you in the green room.

392
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:53,720
Perhaps you ought to tell me what's
really going on here, Gareth.

393
00:20:54,497 --> 00:20:56,037
What do you mean?

394
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,602
Your wife tells me
there was an inciting incident.

395
00:21:01,734 --> 00:21:05,934
Can you tell me about October 13th 1978?

396
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,720
I believe it was a Friday.

397
00:21:13,507 --> 00:21:14,927
How could you?

398
00:21:14,948 --> 00:21:16,614
I had to.

399
00:21:17,426 --> 00:21:20,046
It's taking over our lives.

400
00:21:20,121 --> 00:21:21,861
Every Friday the 13th,

401
00:21:21,912 --> 00:21:25,020
three times a year, you are obsessed!

402
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,420
I'm not obsessed.

403
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,461
And it's not three times
a year. It's twice this year,

404
00:21:28,493 --> 00:21:30,633
twice next year and one time
the year after that.

405
00:21:30,755 --> 00:21:33,435
Why don't you tell me what happened?

406
00:21:39,379 --> 00:21:42,179
You were on a school trip to France...

407
00:21:44,497 --> 00:21:46,840
skiing in Le Corbier.

408
00:21:49,372 --> 00:21:52,236
But on that Friday morning
you had a stomach-ache

409
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,280
and you didn't want to go.

410
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,948
So you watched as all your classmates

411
00:21:57,969 --> 00:22:00,000
got on that coach and drove away.

412
00:22:02,410 --> 00:22:04,565
That was the last you saw of them.

413
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,380
The coach skidded on black ice.

414
00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:11,452
And it came off the road.

415
00:22:14,674 --> 00:22:16,435
All of them died.

416
00:22:17,081 --> 00:22:18,321
Except you.

417
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,060
Survivor's guilt

418
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,300
and its association with that date

419
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,520
has blighted you ever since.

420
00:22:28,043 --> 00:22:32,026
It's time for you to confront
your fears, Gareth,

421
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,192
and put an end to it.

422
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,480
We want you to smash the mirror.

423
00:22:41,303 --> 00:22:42,628
What? No.

424
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,088
Break it.

425
00:22:46,682 --> 00:22:47,882
Break it.

426
00:22:49,059 --> 00:22:50,739
I can't.

427
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,718
Friday the 13th is just another day,

428
00:22:57,120 --> 00:23:01,353
a day when something
terrible happened in 1978

429
00:23:01,553 --> 00:23:03,713
that wasn't your fault.

430
00:23:15,408 --> 00:23:17,380
Seven years' bad luck.

431
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,007
Break the mirror, Gareth!

432
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,600
And set yourself free.

433
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:30,240
I'm sorry.

434
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,048
Well done.

435
00:23:54,761 --> 00:23:57,160
- What now?
- I don't know.

436
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,625
Oh, my God!

437
00:24:04,390 --> 00:24:06,420
Hey, everybody!

438
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,580
Wow, this is quite the party
we're gate-crashing.

439
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,300
Hello, but which one's Gareth?

440
00:24:10,554 --> 00:24:11,722
There he is.

441
00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:13,700
Hey, big guy!

442
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,700
Congratulations, big guy!

443
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,955
So, Gareth, you are our millionth caller

444
00:24:17,975 --> 00:24:20,460
on the radio today, which means
you have banked yourself

445
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,040
a whopping £130,000.

446
00:24:23,060 --> 00:24:24,659
The big 1-3! There we go!

447
00:24:25,099 --> 00:24:27,060
Hey, come on!

448
00:24:28,293 --> 00:24:30,233
Woohoo! You are a lucky man.

449
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:31,697
Thank you.

450
00:24:32,370 --> 00:24:33,979
Er... Is this really happening?

451
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,100
It most certainly is,
my friend. Well done.

452
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:37,780
Can I just say, Dec,

453
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,540
if you and Ant want tickets to
come and see Half A Sixpence,

454
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,780
I'm pretty sure I can arrange a
couple of house seats for you.

455
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:47,820
You'd be most welcome to come
and see if we've got the X factor!

456
00:24:47,838 --> 00:24:49,877
Thank you so much. Just leave
your details with my producer.

457
00:24:49,895 --> 00:24:51,082
- I'd love to come.
- I just love you both.

458
00:24:51,145 --> 00:24:52,421
Thank you.

459
00:24:52,743 --> 00:24:54,287
So, Gareth, what we'd love to do

460
00:24:54,307 --> 00:24:56,820
is do a little interview with
you, pre-recorded interview...

461
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,277
to play out on the radio tomorrow

462
00:24:58,297 --> 00:25:00,680
before the big announcement.
How does that sound?

463
00:25:02,425 --> 00:25:03,825
I'd love to.

464
00:25:14,877 --> 00:25:16,290
_

465
00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:17,391
Oh, no.

466
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:20,760
I'm off now.

467
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,320
OK.

468
00:25:24,143 --> 00:25:25,603
What's wrong?

469
00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,875
I thought I'd fixed everything.

470
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,160
I thought I was cured, but...

471
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,720
it turns out it was all a dream.

472
00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:36,956
What are you talking about, "dream"?

473
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:45,100
Aw, no, that's because
it's Saturday, you idiot.

474
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,020
You just haven't
turned it round yet. See?

475
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:48,080
Here.

476
00:25:51,908 --> 00:25:54,366
So, Dermot O'Leary...

477
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,540
that all actually happened?

478
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:58,892
Yes!

479
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,500
Bloody Dermot bloody O'Leary
in our front room.

480
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,737
I nearly died of shock.

481
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,238
You'd better come down. Your
interview's gonna be on in a minute.

482
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,080
Mwah!

483
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,900
Right, so I'm meeting Paula
for breakfast.

484
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,620
I'm gonna listen to you later.

485
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,321
Oh, you should open this.

486
00:26:24,971 --> 00:26:26,260
What is it?

487
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,360
It's the package from yesterday. Open it.

488
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:49,080
One last test, just to be sure.

489
00:27:05,519 --> 00:27:08,976
Well done, darling.
Oh, I'm so proud of you!

490
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,460
I'll see you later. Oh, yeah.

491
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,160
- Enjoy your interview.
- Yeah.

492
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,100
Coming up, I chat
to our one millionth caller,

493
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:20,980
who, yesterday,
won an incredible £130,000

494
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,388
on Friday the 13th!

495
00:27:22,408 --> 00:27:23,942
We'll be hearing from him

496
00:27:23,962 --> 00:27:27,060
and what it feels like to be
so unbelievably lucky.

497
00:27:27,368 --> 00:27:29,500
Speaking of which, here's Kylie.

498
00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:41,935
www.subtitulamos.tv

499
00:27:41,990 --> 00:27:44,991
# I should be so lucky in love #

500
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,090
# I should be so lucky #

501
00:27:48,133 --> 00:27:50,144
# Lucky, lucky, lucky #

502
00:27:50,207 --> 00:27:53,006
# I should be so lucky in love #