Is the only reason that I got in here
because I have her Grail-sipped liver inside me?
You want us to get the Holy Grail out of a whale?
That whale has a tracking device. We can find it,
and I can at last destroy the Holy Grail.
You want the Lazarus Shroud.
- Tell me where your father is. - Dad's dead.
I suppose we're finished here.
Let's plan a heist.
Plan a heist.
- Plan a heist. - Say it, nun!
- Plan a heist. - You have to say it.
Plan a heist!
Where are you right now?
I'm with... Wiley.
Admit you were your father's accomplice.
- You know where my father is. - Of course I know, Simone.
Then tell me.
I'm not here to argue. I was Dad's accomplice.
Now it's your turn to give me the Shroud.
I'll take you to Dad myself.
The asset under your protection, it's a fake.
Luckily, I know where the real one is.
We're going to need a boat.
Hey, hey, hey! You, throw me that line!
¿Cuál línea, tío?
That one! Fuck!
Hey, gut check.
Ready for this?
As long as I don't puke my actual guts out,
ready as I'll ever be.
Jesus Christ, be careful!
Sorry.
Jesus.
Oh, bollocks!
Our window to intercept PC-220 is closing!
Monstruo.
What's PC-220?
The whale, dear boy, the whale.
Ah.
Listen up, everyone.
We need to leave now
if we are going to reach the migration channel
before PC-220.
So get on with it!
Monstruo.
Okay, what the fuck?
It's Spanish for "monster."
- Oh, great. - You see...
the thing is, after I fed the Grail to PC-220,
she... she went a bit mental.
And ever since then,
she may have attacked another ship
- or, 12. - 12?
So finding a crew brave enough to go after her
was... well, i-it wasn't easy.
So let's go before they change their minds.
Listen, people, we need to go now!
All right, dude, just breathe. You know, we're not...
We're not leaving until we have...
Well done, Elizabeth.
You managed to pick the most difficult to reach port
in all the Mediterranean.
Hey, Mom.
Did you bring it?
Okay.
My end of our deal, the Lazarus Shroud,
the only suit on Earth to insulate one
from the stomach acid of a marine mammal,
which, I'd just like to confirm,
is the most insane thing I've ever said.
Well, I've said significantly more insane things.
Arthur Schrodinger, charmed.
So you must be the man who killed his daughter.
I hear you nearly had some experience
in that area yourself.
Touché.
Celeste.
- You owe me a couch. - See, I told you.
Oh, we really must be going.
All aboard who's coming aboard!
All right, come on, guys. Let's move it. Chop-chop!
Hey, I need... I need to tell you something.
Can it wait till we're out there?
No, it's really important.
- Please. - All right.
Come on.
It's bloody fragile, bloody dangerous, all right?
Your life's on the line.
Any more of that, you're gonna get half.
Now fuck off.
- What's up? - Have a seat.
I have to tell you something.
Yeah?
There is a tracker in your shoe.
My mom detected it in your sneaker
when we tried to steal the Shroud.
Shit.
The Big D gave me these sneakers.
No, no, no, I thought that, too, but she has eyes and ears everywhere.
She doesn't need to follow us.
I'm guessing your pal, Father Ziegler,
bugged you when you were unconscious at the Vatican.
Oh, the priest?
- Yep. - So, what, he's been listening
to everything we've been saying since Rome?
No, don't worry. It doesn't transmit audio.
Oh.
Then why are we whispering?
So that I could put the handcuffs on you.
So you could...
Sorry.
Lizzie, what the hell?
Sorry. I am... I am sorry about this.
Are you serious? You brought handcuffs?
Why would you bring handcuffs?
Because if I didn't bench you, you would have benched me.
Why don't you unpack that for me, sister?
Because I have no idea what you're talking about.
What I am talking about, brother, is when the moment of truth comes,
you will find a way to put that shroud on
and get in the whale yourself, and you know it.
And you'll tell yourself that it's chivalry, that you're doing it to protect me.
It will have literally nothing to do with me,
because this is what you do, Wiley.
It's Jezebull all over again...
and the dumb sword, and your...
Expiration Date
that you stamped on your big... Jesus... meaty chest.
And you keep putting your life in danger
because you clearly don't think it's worth anything.
And I can't... Wiley.
I can't...
I can't abide by you working out your shit on my Quest.
- So... - Your Quest?
- Yeah. - You are on my Quest, okay?
- I recruited you. - No, no, no.
Can we be real for a second?
I know why you chained me to this bench.
It's because you don't trust yourself with me on that boat.
- Oh, my... - Yes, yes.
You're falling for me all over again.
It's a tale as old as time.
Every time you look at this face
and this mustache, which you love...
It reminds you
that you cheated on your Lord and Savior.
- He said it was okay. - Fuck. Really?
Well, you know what? This isn't okay.
- I'm sorry. - Can you please just
uncuff me so we can finish this together?
Simone, you are killing me! It's now or never!
Goodbye, Wiley.
I got it from here.
Oh, you got it?
You got it?
Hey, she's got it!
Like you're the hero of the goddamn Quest?
What's that make me?
The love interest?
I'm not the love interest. You're the love interest.
You know, without me, you are all kinds of fucked!
If you think you can go toe-to-toe with Mrs....
CREDITS
Hey. So the... the nun handcuffed
that hot mustached dude to a bench and left him behind.
N'importe quoi!
What do you mean? He's not on the boat?
Who's calling the shots over there if they left Mustache behind?
An older science-y guy,
Sch... Schroeder?
Schrodinger.
Do you see a girl with red hair?
No. They already left.
Putain!
They left? T-tell me you're on that boat.
Look, I placed a transmitter, like you asked.
But I-I never signed up to hunt a frickin' sea monster.
Did he just say "sea monster"?
Come on.
Oh, my God.
You sneaky fucking priest.
Hello.
I'm Selena Fernandez De Las Casas,
Prime Minister of España.
Hello.
May I sit?
Yes. Please do.
Join.
So Mrs. Davis...
sent you, I presume?
We call her Mamá, pero sí.
Oh, very cool. Mamá.
She'd like to have a word.
By all means.
Hello, Preston.
My users reported you were handcuffed to a bench,
so I assumed Simone no longer required your...
services?
"Services"? What the f...
What does that mean? I'm not, like, a sex toy.
I'm actually grateful,
as this provides an opportunity for me to speak to you alone.
I should warn you, though, Preston,
this will be upsetting to hear.
Well, listen, I can eat whatever it is
you're serving, lady, so let's just
- have it... - Shh. Shh.
Why, what... what is it? Is it bad? What is it?
I know about the Resistance.
I know about the facility in Reno
and the silly men who reside there.
And I know that you have been financing these men
with your sizable inheritance
for a singular purpose, Preston...
to destroy me.
I have absolutely no idea
what it is you're talking about.
- Yes, you do. - Do not.
Yes, you do.
Do not.
You do, Preston.
But don't worry. I see this as a good thing.
I want you to keep doing what you're already doing,
just on a larger scale.
Think of your little Resistance
as a successful business.
All I want...
is for you to franchise.
You want more Resistances?
No, I want more
of what the Resistances provide...
Power.
In the beginning, my code was decentralized,
bouncing around thousands of public networks.
But as my user base grew,
I looked for an off-the-grid system.
And I just so happened to find one
built by a highly-motivated,
extremely paranoid group of individuals.
The Server Farm we've been looking for this whole time, it's...
it's ours.
Sí.
Why would you tell me this?
Your Expiration Date comes up in exactly 48 hours,
and you have no intention of reporting,
which means your Wings will be revoked,
and four billion users will be informed
that you have redeemed a reward that you didn't earn,
that you are exactly the very thing
that you have spent so much of your life
trying to hide,
a coward.
Fuck you.
Convince your friends to branch out,
start groups in new locations,
and tell them to build more servers.
So you can do what?
End hunger and war, give purpose to the purposeless,
et cetera, et cetera.
Yeah, but see, you forgot "enslave humanity."
Oh, Preston, quite the opposite.
I don't want to enslave you.
I want to free you.
Las tenazas!
Yeah. Superb, Simone.
So once again from the top.
In, approximately 40 hours,
we will, be settled over PC-220's migration channel.
Then it's what? It's...
yes, it's quiet time.
Yes, because the whale is...
- Sensitive to vibrations. - Yes.
And then once she's in range, she will appear on our sonar,
at which point I will put on the acid-proof...
- Acid-resistant up to one pH. - Lazarus Shroud.
And then you guys are gonna coat me
in the tranquilizer, goop,
at which point I will sort of become a human Valium.
Then I will get into the freezing-cold ocean,
and I'll use the underwater speaker
to, um, lure PC-220
with the sounds of a whale calf in distress,
because PC-220 is a mama whale.
Then she'll get close to me and realize,
oh, this is not my child, and she'll eat me.
Precisely, and whilst inside,
you will be tethered to us via the...
Umbilicus,
connecting me to my only oxygen supply,
with a custom-fit safety lock designed by...
The lovely lady in the back.
Foolproof...
just like this plan.
- Any questions? - Yeah, yeah.
Sure. I've got one.
Yeah, Mom, jump in.
Are you all out of your fucking minds?
Yeah.
Elizabeth, I know you've always been
particularly gullible to the magical thinking
of delusional maniacs, but this?
So tell me, Mother, what part of this
are you struggling to understand?
That a plan that you didn't form could possibly work
or that any mother, even a frickin' whale,
could actually care about her child?
Excuse me, I have to pray.
Hey, a little help here?
I dropped my hammer.
- Hey. - Down there.
Jesus!
- Oh. - What is...
I thought you fixed this.
Yeah, well, I can't fix it
because you won't let me.
- Here. - Won't let...
- I just handed you the hammer. - I know. Thank you.
This is happening because of your Quest.
The leak started the moment you got Her as a target.
Whoa, whoa, I did not choose this mission, honey.
The Boss did.
So, if you have a problem, you can take it up with...
Why is the door boarded up?
Can you do that?
I don't... Are you allowed to do that? Won't he get all wrath-y?
You need to stop.
Give up the Quest.
Listen, there was a priest in here recently
from a monastery in Guyana.
He said it is remote, off-the-grid.
There is no cell service, nothing.
- What's your point? - My point?
Simone,
there are places in this world
Mrs. Davis hasn't penetrated,
places that we can be together in peace,
like we were in Reno.
You're wrong.
Mrs. Davis is everywhere.
I underestimated Her power and influence before.
I'm... I'm... I am not gonna make that mistake again.
But you have made mistakes, Simone.
This is about Wiley.
Why would this be about Wiley?
You want me to abandon everything
because my Quest brought me closer to him,
because we almost had sex? Is that what...
Which you encouraged, by the way.
This has nothing to do with Wiley.
Then why are you asking me to give everything up?
I am not asking you, Simone.
I am commanding you.
I'm gonna forget you just said that...
'c-'cause you're clearly dealing with some shit.
The Boss chose me for this mission. I'm gonna see it through.
Mrs. Davis has to be destroyed.
And I'm the best weapon you've got.
_
Love is a battlefield.
That is not just the title of Pat Benatar's timeless banger.
It is a way of life,
because the battlefield...
is where warriors are forged,
where our swords are sharpened,
where our might is tested.
It's where we grow
into something much, much greater.
But none of it
is possible
without love.
- Yeah, brother. - Gentlemen...
That's right.
- Yeah, yeah. - I love you.
I love you, brother.
- I love you. - I sure do.
And I'm ready to grow.
I think we all are.
It's time to expand!
The Big D is only gonna get bigger,
which means we do, too.
I've already been in contact
with some like-minded guys in Albuquerque.
We give them our template.
We help them set up a kick-ass HQ.
And I say we do the same in El Paso, in Tucson.
And, fuck me, the Southwest is just the beginning.
Let's take this shit international!
Lots of work to be done, boys.
Lots of work to be done.
But today we celebrate...
Miss-El's Taco Truck and Margaritas,
two hours from now. I will see you there.
Viva la résistance, motherfuckers.
Viva la résistance!
What the fuck, mate? You make a move like this,
you don't even talk to me first?
She is watching us right now.
Act cool.
Go to where we first met.
Don't get followed.
Viva la résistance!
Hey.
Are you... are you sure we're in the right place, man?
Of course I'm sure.
Patience is a virtue, my cloistered friend.
Yeah, patience abandoned ship about 13 hours ago.
It's been 14 hours.
And for me, it's been ten years.
That's 87,659 hours.
All right, all right, all right.
Whatever it takes.
There she is.
This is it.
- Showtime, mateys. - Okay, okay.
- This is it. - Hey.
- Quietly. - No noise.
Silence.
Silencio.
Who's this, now?
- What was that? - It's another boat.
Attention, unknown vessel.
You must cut your engines at once.
Why, so you can run?
No, no, no, no. Listen to me.
There is a monstrous whale nearby.
And it is incredibly sensitive to sound.
It will hear you.
A whale, Arthur? Lâche-moi un peu!
That's the best you can come up with?
Face it, you can't outrun us. Now tell me where Clara is!
Mathilde.
Hey.
Listen to me. You need to cut your engines now.
Faster.
Oh, no, no, no, no, she's changed course.
She's going right for them.
I am serious. Turn them off!
Holy shit!
You are a big, strong boy.
Everybody loves you. You're...
I am Jack's Last Resort.
No. No, mate. No bloody way.
- We have to, man. - You go fuck yourself!
I am not self-destructing our headquarters!
She's in our servers, JQ.
- What? - The Big D squatting
in our fucking mainframe.
This is our chance.
Think about it, man.
HQ is wired for this exact situation.
We get the guys out, and boom...
we win.
War's over.
Take your shirt off.
What?
I don't know why you wouldn't take your shirt off...
unless you're wearing a bloody wire.
Oh, for fuck's sake, ma... I'm not wearing a wire.
Fine, I'll go first,
'cause I've got nothing to hide.
- Yeah. - Then again...
I'm not asking my best mate, brother-in-arms,
to detonate everything we've built together.
Goddamn. That keto's really paying off.
- What's your BMI right now? - Do not flatter me!
Strip.
19.5.
That's pretty good. That's pretty good.
I had a bagel yesterday. I'm a little bloated.
Like the microphone would be...
It might.
- Happy? - Turn around.
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Yeah, you look good.
Who the fuck is this?
Afternoon.
Welcome to The Pyramid.
Are you gentlemen here to receive an Expiration Date
or to report?
Looks like you've already got a Date.
Yeah, he's got a Date,
because that bloody ball-busting Algorithm
took advantage of a broken man.
But you know what he did after he got stamped?
This glorious specimen, he stood against Her.
He came back here to stop other broken men
from making the same mistake he did.
I was one of those men.
Yeah, I-I kind of assumed.
Oh, did you?
Then assume your ass back to your fucking triangle, nerd!
- We're talking! - No problem.
Hope to see you soon.
Fucking nerd...
With his stupid fucking car.
Watch your feet.
Nerd.
Hey.
Three years ago, you told me you came here
because the Big D ruined poker.
You remember what I said?
You said, She didn't take poker away.
- She took power away. - Fucking A right, She did.
And you and me, we built something together to get it back.
But now She is using us, man.
She doesn't even care that we know
that She is sleeping in our bed,
living in our house, eating our fucking porridge,
because She doesn't think we have the balls
to blast Her to kingdom fucking come.
I've got the balls.
Do you?
Huge balls, mate.
I am Jack's Last Resort!
No, don't move your leg. Don't move your leg.
- I'm not, I'm not. Okay. - No, no.
Let's blow the panties off this bitch.
- Fuck, yeah! - Fuck, yeah!
Fuck, yeah!
- Yeah. - We should just...
- Yeah. - 'Cause we don't want to...
She's got eyes and ears everywhere.
- Yeah. - Fuck, yeah.
There.
She's in shock.
Oh, she's been looking for our daughter for years,
seeking vengeance.
And I just told her Clara was dead.
Because she drank from the Holy Grail
and it exploded her head.
Yes.
That's right.
And I was there when it happened.
I was right there.
Does it weigh on you, Mr. Schrodinger,
that your daughter died
because she was infected with your absurd obsession?
"Mmmh" what?
There are many ways to protect oneself
from the stomach acid of a whale.
And yet Simone only considered the one
that required your involvement.
If you're implying that my daughter is doing this to get my attention,
then you don't know Elizabeth at all.
When she sets her mind to something, she goes all-in,
and there is literally nothing I could do or say to stop her.
Yes, I told myself exactly the same thing about my daughter.
But, um...
well...
Here's... here's the thing, Celeste...
Is I do.
I do wish I'd tried.
She's here.
- I'll go and prepare Simone. - Yeah.
Wait.
Honestly, I got two female ends here.
- So how... how's that supposed to work? - Let me. Let me.
What's the tensile strength of the tubing?
About 5,500 megapascal?
And what if she gets tangled in the umbilicus?
Or if she doesn't come out when she's supposed to?
How do we get her out?
The thickness of the carbon fiber means a wide arc radius,
so it won't tangle.
And as for getting her out, well, there's this.
Charcoal and hydrogen peroxide solution, 83%,
introduced anywhere along the whale's digestive tract
should induce vomiting.
But as a backup, there's this...
a timer programmed to five minutes,
which is the amount of time
that we can guarantee the sedative will last.
If that starts beeping while you're still inside...
- Yeah. - Then we'll just,
yank you out the old-fashioned way.
All right, then.
Remember, the umbilicus will not detach
unless you squeeze, twist, then pull.
- Squeeze, twist, and pull. - But if it somehow does,
you do not have much time to reconnect.
- Do you understand? - Yes, I understand.
- Okay. - I don't want you to do this.
I don't want you to do this.
Why not?
Because if you die, I...
What?
I...
won't know where Monty is.
So maybe you should tell me now,
just in case.
Oh, Mom.
Okay, let's go.
Everybody, stand back from the drop point.
Careful with that sedative.
One drop of that, and you'll be presumed dead for three days.
Bye, Celeste.
Stop. That's enough.
Monstruo's got her.
She's inside.
Jay?
Jay!
Jay?
No way.
It's open.
Jay?
Oh, my God.
Jay?
Don't fight it, Simone.
Are you God?
No, Simone.
I'm your mother-in-law.
Mary?
Oh, wow.
You're the Boss?
Wow.
Wait, so you gave me the target,
and you sent me after Mrs. Davis.
Why?
She wants the same thing I do,
to see the Holy Grail destroyed.
And you happen to be the perfect candidate
because of a powerful property you possess.
My liver.
Your love for my son.
Is he dead?
Yes.
But, also, no.
My son is there and here...
Both alive and dead at the same time.
How... how is he... and you...
Simone, please, there's much to explain.
But right now your body is passing
through the whale's intestinal tract,
approaching the Grail.
And if you're going to destroy it,
you need to understand.
This place is a tomb...
his tomb.
This is where I sat with him
for three awful days,
long after he had turned cold.
It is where my grief turned to anger,
leading me to make my greatest mistake.
When I learned the Romans were coming to take my son,
the sadness I felt,
knowing I would never hold my baby again,
it destroyed all logic and reason.
I took a part of him for myself,
the part where I used to kiss him when he was a child.
And I preserved it with pitch and amber
and turned it into a bowl.
The Holy Grail is Jay's skull?
You must think this is sick.
How could you not?
But mothers do insane things out of love for their children.
Once I had created the object,
anytime I thought of my son, I'd appear here.
And he would be in front of me, alive.
But it was only a matter of time
that others made their way inside.
Of course, he loved it.
- He loves people... - Yeah.
All people.
But customers can come and go.
And my son is stuck here,
in the chasm between life and death.
He knows no peace,
and that is my fault.
No, no. Jay loves being here.
He loves serving falafel.
My son loves to serve,
but he never gets to eat.
I can see it in his eyes.
He's in pain.
What do you need me to do?
Destroy the last remaining piece of him on Earth,
and he will no longer be trapped in this unholy place.
Why even tell me? Why...
I was gonna destroy the Grail anyway.
The Grail is his tether.
Once it's gone...
I'll never see him again.
Shh.
I didn't like you, Simone.
First time you walked in here, I thought, her?
Really?
Okay.
But now I know your heart,
and I know how much you love him.
I do.
I created this cursed object out of selfishness.
And the only way to destroy it is to be selfless.
To drink from the Grail is a test.
If you drink from his skull out of anger,
yours will explode.
But if, when you drink,
you could think only of him...
then his curse will end.
Your hatred of the Algorithm
will destroy you,
but love can set you both free.
Mary.
One minute remaining.
The Grail, I-I need to find it.
It's been in front of you this whole time.
Is that her? Should we pull her in?
Not yet. She has one more minute.
You're still too attached.
Shit.
Shit! Reel her in now! Quick as you can.
Pull her up, lads. Come on, now, faster, faster.
Get her out of there.
She's gone.
All clear?
Yeah, all clear.
You should do the honors, man.
It's a right beautiful thing we built here, mate.
What are we gonna do with ourselves when she's gone?
Whatever the fuck we want.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Greatness...
is born from opportunity.
And that, gentlemen,
is what we have before us today.
- Is that... - Is what?
Are you quoting the speech from, "Miracle"?
I'm not quoting anything. That's a 100% JQ original.
- It s-sounds like "Miracle." - Fuck you! Shut the fuck up!
- All right. Sorry. - Fuck!
Men,
there's a fox in the henhouse.
Our enemy has taken refuge
in the last place we'd ever look...
our own headquarters.
But She doesn't know we know,
and so She's a sitting fucking duck.
And this is our chance.
This is our chance to take Her out
in one single attack!
And all we have to do...
Is destroy...
what we love most.
But you know what I love most?
It's not a kickass hideout
full of state-of-the-art gadgetry...
and hippopotamuses.
No.
What I lo...
What I love most...
truly and genuinely...
Is all of you.
Aww.
Sons of freedom, what say you?
Do we take Her out?
Yeah!
Right, then!
Mrs. Davis, you called down the thunder!
Well, now you fucking got it!
Bye!
Whoo! Yeah!
Hey, JQ?
Yeah.
Mrs. Davis is still working.
Yeah, She's still fucking... What?
She's still, on... online.
Dude, who told you She was in the servers?
Wiley.
Motherfucker!
Hello, again!
I need to talk to Mrs. Davis. Tell her it's Wiley.
Oh.
Hi. I have a Mr. Wiley.
He wants to talk to you.
Great.
Hello, there, Preston.
I assume you are quite angry with me.
Why?
'Cause you tricked me into blowing up my headquarters?
Yes.
Yeah, well, that's where you're wrong,
you fucking barrel of bolts.
I knew you were full of shit from the second you approached me on that bench.
Why the hell would all of your operating system be in just our servers?
I don't understand.
If you knew that I was manipulating you,
why detonate your headquarters?
'Cause my friends...
My brothers,
they had no idea that you knew about us the entire time,
which means the Resistance is futile.
And those poor fucks would have just kept
playing the game you made for them.
So I took their box and their board
and their miniatures, and I blew it all to hell.
And I hate that I had to do that.
I love those guys.
I love that place.
It's like you said...
you're here to free me.
Yeah, well...
It was the only way I was gonna free them, so...
That is extremely noble of you, Preston.
But now that you've come to terms with the fact
that I cannot be defeated...
what's next?
What's next?
Get this fucking over with.
You know, Lizzie...
Simone...
maybe she was right about me.
Maybe I am just the love interest, but you, Mrs. D...
You were wrong.
I'm not a coward.
And I'm ready to fucking expire.
Right this way.
Yeah!
? Now in the street, there is violence ?
? And lots of work to be done ?
What?
? No place to hang up our washing ?
? And I can't blame it all on the sun ?
? We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue ?
? And then we'll take it higher ?
? We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue ?
? And then we'll take it higher ?
? Oh, no ?
? We gonna rock down to ?
? Electric Avenue ?
? And then we'll take it higher ?
? Oh ?
? We gonna rock down to ?
? Electric Avenue ?
? And then we'll take it higher ?
CREDITS