1
00:00:02,232 --> 00:00:07,631
The year is 1955, and nothing like
this had ever happened in Riverdale.

2
00:00:07,953 --> 00:00:11,125
One of our own, Ethel Muggs, had
stumbled into the sock hop,

3
00:00:11,151 --> 00:00:14,434
covered in, we would soon
find out, her parents' blood.

4
00:00:14,819 --> 00:00:18,273
Both were dead, stabbed multiple times.

5
00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:26,789
What did Ethel say? Did
she see the killer?

6
00:00:26,822 --> 00:00:30,953
Well, your friend's keeping
mum, but she claims

7
00:00:31,495 --> 00:00:33,780
that the milkman killed her parents.

8
00:00:34,912 --> 00:00:36,367
Willie?

9
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,665
He's 70 years old.

10
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:39,843
He is.

11
00:00:39,869 --> 00:00:41,538
Well, are you going to bring
him in for questioning?

12
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:44,093
It's late and Willie could use his rest,

13
00:00:44,119 --> 00:00:46,108
so we'll... We'll talk to him tomorrow

14
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,179
after he's done his morning deliveries.

15
00:00:48,642 --> 00:00:51,402
It's tragic, yes.

16
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,463
But why bring her here, Alice?

17
00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:56,015
She has nowhere else to go, Hal.

18
00:00:56,525 --> 00:00:58,531
Her parents are dead.

19
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,993
It's the least we can do
for her, don't you think?

20
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,429
Think how this will affect Betty.

21
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:05,677
That's all I ever think about,

22
00:01:05,703 --> 00:01:07,679
is the well-being of this family.

23
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:10,804
Which is more than I can say for you.

24
00:01:18,732 --> 00:01:22,046
We're gonna make up my
sister's old room for you.

25
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:25,890
Here are some fresh towels.

26
00:01:26,218 --> 00:01:30,525
If you need anything at any
point, just come find me. Okay?

27
00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:36,140
I don't know what else
they want me to say.

28
00:01:39,921 --> 00:01:43,445
It's... It's almost like
they think that maybe I...

29
00:01:43,811 --> 00:01:47,875
Ethel, is there anyone who saw you
before you went back to your house?

30
00:01:48,848 --> 00:01:52,335
Anyone who could be an alibi?

31
00:01:54,403 --> 00:01:55,538
No.

32
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,929
No, I was alone.

33
00:02:01,662 --> 00:02:03,866
I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

34
00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,822
Please try to rest, okay?

35
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,476
We're here for you.

36
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,819
Whatever you need.

37
00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:20,130
But Betty's entreaties did
little to comfort Ethel,

38
00:02:20,156 --> 00:02:22,125
who didn't say another word that night.

39
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,597
Which only added to the mystery.

40
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,338
Is Ethel hiding something?

41
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:29,546
And why did her milkman story
sound so familiar to me?

42
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:56,320
It is high time that you got
yourself a boyfriend, Cheryl.

43
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,023
Mother, I don't have time for boys.

44
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,373
- I'm far too busy.
- Doing what?

45
00:03:01,429 --> 00:03:03,812
- Painting naked ladies?
- Mother!

46
00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:06,937
What nerve? That's
homework for art class!

47
00:03:07,953 --> 00:03:09,816
You could help, you know?

48
00:03:10,012 --> 00:03:14,046
Isn't there some nice, normal
boy you could introduce her to?

49
00:03:14,942 --> 00:03:16,921
I'm just worried she's...

50
00:03:17,382 --> 00:03:21,442
developing unnatural
proclivities, shall we say?

51
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,352
What are you talking about, Mom?

52
00:03:23,562 --> 00:03:27,921
Find your sister a suitable
match, immediately.

53
00:03:28,032 --> 00:03:29,929
Do I make myself clear?

54
00:03:37,725 --> 00:03:40,444
That was quite the
scene at the sock hop.

55
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:43,850
- Do you know that poor girl?
- Not really.

56
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:47,593
I mean, she's Ethel. She kind of...
She kind of keeps to herself.

57
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:52,132
Well, not to pivot gracelessly, but...

58
00:03:53,078 --> 00:03:56,953
Listen, Archie, I'm really sorry
we got off on the wrong foot.

59
00:03:57,913 --> 00:04:00,789
Could we maybe try again?

60
00:04:02,682 --> 00:04:05,109
I really appreciate the apology.

61
00:04:06,591 --> 00:04:10,308
Look, the truth is, Veronica, I just...
I don't think we're a good match.

62
00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:13,281
I mean, you're too much of a
handful for a guy like me.

63
00:04:19,683 --> 00:04:22,640
What happened to the Muggs
family is a tragedy.

64
00:04:23,951 --> 00:04:26,046
It's all the children are talking about.

65
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,617
The parents are calling.

66
00:04:29,155 --> 00:04:32,200
Asking how we plan to
address this situation.

67
00:04:32,226 --> 00:04:35,872
Well, I believe the most prudent
course of action is to simply carry on

68
00:04:35,898 --> 00:04:38,373
with the week's
preapproved lesson plans.

69
00:04:38,399 --> 00:04:39,484
Yes!

70
00:04:40,687 --> 00:04:43,301
What's on the docket
this week, Ms. Bell?

71
00:04:43,593 --> 00:04:46,724
Well, in fact, the juniors are scheduled

72
00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:50,569
to have their PTA-approved
sexual education lecture.

73
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,895
But we could postpone it.

74
00:04:52,921 --> 00:04:56,281
On the contrary, I will
give the lecture myself.

75
00:04:56,423 --> 00:04:59,937
Splendid idea, Dr. Werthers.

76
00:05:00,479 --> 00:05:02,382
Business as usual.

77
00:05:02,966 --> 00:05:04,475
That's the ticket.

78
00:05:10,549 --> 00:05:12,804
Tough luck about Veronica, chum.

79
00:05:13,445 --> 00:05:15,757
I guess it wasn't in
the cards for you two.

80
00:05:16,623 --> 00:05:18,208
Yeah, I guess not.

81
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,023
It's probably for the best.

82
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,929
I mean, girls like
Veronica run hot and cold

83
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:26,630
and it takes a certain kind of
man to ride that roller-coaster.

84
00:05:26,656 --> 00:05:29,403
- A man like you, I'm guessing?
- Pretty much.

85
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:31,720
But if you're hankering
for a steady girlfriend,

86
00:05:31,746 --> 00:05:33,113
Cheryl's available.

87
00:05:33,139 --> 00:05:34,234
Cheryl?

88
00:05:36,144 --> 00:05:38,252
Thanks, but no thanks.

89
00:05:38,278 --> 00:05:39,437
Why not?

90
00:05:39,612 --> 00:05:41,413
You don't think my sister is a honey?

91
00:05:41,439 --> 00:05:44,137
No, I mean, come on, Chery's gorgeous.

92
00:05:45,504 --> 00:05:47,001
- But...
- But what?

93
00:05:47,257 --> 00:05:50,270
Well, she's always seemed a
little standoffish to me.

94
00:05:50,296 --> 00:05:52,427
I mean, I've never seen her with
a steady boyfriend or anything.

95
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:55,789
She's had boyfriends.
College guys, mostly.

96
00:05:56,104 --> 00:05:58,710
You know what they say about
girls who like older men, right?

97
00:05:59,633 --> 00:06:01,000
No, what...

98
00:06:01,505 --> 00:06:02,858
What do they say?

99
00:06:03,307 --> 00:06:04,787
They're a lot more...

100
00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:11,346
open-minded than most high school
girls if you catch my drift.

101
00:06:11,511 --> 00:06:13,280
You take Cheryl out,

102
00:06:13,697 --> 00:06:15,859
you're made in the shade, daddio.

103
00:06:16,769 --> 00:06:18,528
Something tells me she'd...

104
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,921
really go for a stud like you.

105
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,745
Think about it at least.

106
00:06:32,546 --> 00:06:35,945
www.subtitulamos.tv

107
00:06:48,173 --> 00:06:50,117
Hey, Blossom, wait up.

108
00:06:51,734 --> 00:06:53,708
What is it, Serpentina?

109
00:06:53,734 --> 00:06:56,137
I'm putting on a little performance
at the Dark Room tonight.

110
00:06:56,163 --> 00:06:59,054
And I have a feeling it
might razz your berries.

111
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,265
Kindly mark me down as a
definitive, "No, thank you."

112
00:07:04,419 --> 00:07:05,507
Ta-ta.

113
00:07:08,664 --> 00:07:12,218
Same old Topaz always going after
the straight-laced square girls.

114
00:07:12,859 --> 00:07:14,888
You know there's no future
there for you, right?

115
00:07:14,914 --> 00:07:16,785
I'm not so sure about that, Lizzo.

116
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,468
What's your problem, Topaz?

117
00:07:18,951 --> 00:07:20,841
Am I too much woman for you?

118
00:07:20,921 --> 00:07:22,709
My problem with you

119
00:07:22,735 --> 00:07:25,906
is that you're a high school dropout
and you're too territorial.

120
00:07:26,421 --> 00:07:28,052
But I'll see you at the Dark Room.

121
00:07:28,078 --> 00:07:29,845
And what makes you think I'm going?

122
00:07:29,871 --> 00:07:31,804
Get over yourself, Lizzo.

123
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:33,562
I know you wouldn't miss it.

124
00:07:49,031 --> 00:07:51,468
Kevin, you okay?

125
00:07:51,914 --> 00:07:54,144
You seem a little froggy.

126
00:07:54,468 --> 00:07:57,005
You know, jumpy, kind of like
you're avoiding someone.

127
00:07:57,031 --> 00:07:58,100
No.

128
00:07:58,452 --> 00:08:01,578
- I had too much Highpoint this morning.
- It's okay, Kevin.

129
00:08:03,864 --> 00:08:05,304
What are you doing tonight?

130
00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,804
Do you want to come to an
open mic at the Dark Room?

131
00:08:08,976 --> 00:08:11,038
A bunch of us hepcats are performing.

132
00:08:17,718 --> 00:08:20,960
The Dark Room, isn't that
the beatnik hangout?

133
00:08:21,642 --> 00:08:24,820
It's a coffeehouse, Kevin.

134
00:08:28,281 --> 00:08:29,718
Do you have plans or not?

135
00:08:31,605 --> 00:08:34,453
I was going to maybe see The
Seven Year Itch with Betty.

136
00:08:36,487 --> 00:08:39,117
But she might like going
to the Dark Room.

137
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,593
She won't regret it.

138
00:08:41,802 --> 00:08:43,187
And...

139
00:08:46,231 --> 00:08:47,725
neither will you.

140
00:08:58,431 --> 00:09:01,312
Cheryl, I've been looking for you.

141
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:04,000
Cool painting.

142
00:09:05,273 --> 00:09:07,789
Why, pray tell, have you
been searching for moi?

143
00:09:09,187 --> 00:09:10,625
What are you doing tonight?

144
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:14,497
I was wondering if you wanted to go see The
Seven Year Itch with me at the Babylonium?

145
00:09:14,523 --> 00:09:17,765
I have already seen it and found
it egregiously overrated.

146
00:09:18,671 --> 00:09:20,286
- Okay. Well...
- However,

147
00:09:20,312 --> 00:09:23,091
there is an event at
the Dark Room tonight.

148
00:09:23,117 --> 00:09:25,091
Some sort of poetry reading.

149
00:09:25,117 --> 00:09:28,343
I wasn't going to attend in fear
of being slimed by a greaser.

150
00:09:28,445 --> 00:09:31,960
But with the proper
escort, I might relent.

151
00:09:32,164 --> 00:09:33,685
Poetry reading?

152
00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:36,537
Well, I've actually just
started writing poetry myself.

153
00:09:36,563 --> 00:09:38,758
How peachy keen for you.

154
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:40,265
Pick me up at 7:00?

155
00:09:55,699 --> 00:09:56,893
Hey, doll face.

156
00:09:57,022 --> 00:09:58,868
Wanna go to the Babylonium tonight?

157
00:09:58,894 --> 00:10:00,840
The Seven Year Itch is playing.

158
00:10:01,006 --> 00:10:02,504
Drop dead, Julian.

159
00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:06,075
You know, if you're still pining after
Andrews, don't hold your breath.

160
00:10:06,168 --> 00:10:10,441
Word on the street is he's going to something
at the beatnik bar tonight with Cheryl.

161
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:17,775
I want to go. To the Dark Room.

162
00:10:17,801 --> 00:10:20,228
I didn't know you were into
the whole beatnik scene.

163
00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:22,509
Oh, I'm into a lot of scenes, Julian.

164
00:10:22,838 --> 00:10:24,246
Pick me up at 8:00.

165
00:10:28,909 --> 00:10:31,063
Sorry to bother you, there, Willie,

166
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,424
but we got to follow every
lead, even the crazy ones.

167
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:35,843
Let me walk you out.

168
00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:46,120
Ethel...

169
00:10:46,287 --> 00:10:47,612
What happened?

170
00:10:47,993 --> 00:10:50,073
It wasn't the milkman.

171
00:10:51,129 --> 00:10:53,261
Or at least not that milkman.

172
00:10:53,823 --> 00:10:56,780
So it was another milkman?

173
00:10:56,806 --> 00:10:59,287
Or someone dressed like
one, I don't know.

174
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:01,573
Jughead...

175
00:11:02,024 --> 00:11:03,987
I'm really, really scared.

176
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:08,386
What if Sheriff Keller starts
to think that I did it?

177
00:11:09,951 --> 00:11:11,636
Why would he do that?

178
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:15,401
You know those pretend
covers I'm always drawing?

179
00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:17,643
Yeah. They're super boss.

180
00:11:19,101 --> 00:11:21,448
Do you remember my meat grinder cover?

181
00:11:21,791 --> 00:11:22,948
Yeah?

182
00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:28,053
Oh, God, Ethel.

183
00:11:28,548 --> 00:11:30,656
Ethel's drawing depicted a girl

184
00:11:30,682 --> 00:11:32,375
who happened to look like Ethel,

185
00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,922
shoving dismembered body parts

186
00:11:33,948 --> 00:11:36,366
that happened to look like
they belong to her parents

187
00:11:36,461 --> 00:11:38,143
into a meat grinder.

188
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:41,737
It was a goof, Jughead.

189
00:11:42,339 --> 00:11:46,034
I was just mad at my parents for
not letting me go see The Tingler.

190
00:11:46,074 --> 00:11:48,628
And now I'm afraid that
Sheriff Keller is gonna...

191
00:11:49,448 --> 00:11:51,671
- misinterpret it.
- Where's the drawing?

192
00:11:51,697 --> 00:11:53,094
In my hope chest.

193
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,118
I would get them myself, but i just...

194
00:11:55,144 --> 00:11:57,721
I don't think I can face
going back into that house.

195
00:11:58,028 --> 00:12:00,433
- Not so soon.
- Okay.

196
00:12:00,745 --> 00:12:02,896
It's fine. I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna go tonight.

197
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:04,054
Yeah.

198
00:12:14,087 --> 00:12:17,619
Excuse me, young lady. Where
do you think you're going?

199
00:12:21,781 --> 00:12:24,672
Kevin and I are going
to a poetry reading.

200
00:12:24,698 --> 00:12:26,741
Not before you march
over to Ethel's house

201
00:12:26,767 --> 00:12:30,026
and bring that girl back another
change of clothes or two.

202
00:12:31,247 --> 00:12:32,558
Chop-chop.

203
00:12:43,314 --> 00:12:44,456
Bingo

204
00:13:05,332 --> 00:13:07,222
_

205
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:11,753
The cops!

206
00:13:36,808 --> 00:13:38,979
_

207
00:13:42,611 --> 00:13:46,377
Here is why Ethel's milkman
story sounded so familiar.

208
00:13:46,634 --> 00:13:49,698
It reminded me of a comic
book Pep had published.

209
00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:51,899
One of their most infamous issues,

210
00:13:51,925 --> 00:13:54,740
about a lunatic who escapes
from an insane asylum,

211
00:13:54,766 --> 00:13:56,743
dresses up as the town milkman

212
00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:58,315
and starts murdering people.

213
00:13:58,479 --> 00:14:02,120
Ethel and I had both read it.
Then again, everyone had.

214
00:14:02,347 --> 00:14:04,964
I'm sure it was a coincidence.
It had to be.

215
00:14:05,394 --> 00:14:08,972
But it wouldn't look good for Ethel
to be caught with it, no matter what.

216
00:14:12,675 --> 00:14:16,628
And to the republic that falls short.

217
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:22,479
One nation under siege, indefensible.

218
00:14:22,734 --> 00:14:27,503
With liberty and justice for none.

219
00:14:28,371 --> 00:14:31,034
All are beat.

220
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:32,917
All are beat.

221
00:14:35,587 --> 00:14:36,831
Gratitude.

222
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:44,688
Keen, but what does it mean?

223
00:14:44,714 --> 00:14:47,612
It's art, Betty. It doesn't
need to mean anything.

224
00:14:48,183 --> 00:14:50,683
I mean, it didn't even rhyme, really.

225
00:14:51,229 --> 00:14:53,140
Poetry doesn't have to rhyme.

226
00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:56,347
Here. This might help make
the evening more tolerable.

227
00:15:06,317 --> 00:15:08,792
Immortal Aphrodite

228
00:15:09,444 --> 00:15:11,737
on your shimmering throne.

229
00:15:12,261 --> 00:15:15,628
Daughter of Zeus, weaver of wiles,

230
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,378
I pray thee.

231
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:21,940
Crush not my spirit nor my soul

232
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:25,261
with anguish and distress.

233
00:15:26,003 --> 00:15:27,423
Oh, queen.

234
00:15:27,784 --> 00:15:31,079
Come release me from cruel cares.

235
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:35,098
Let my heart accomplish
all that it desires.

236
00:15:35,124 --> 00:15:37,745
Mine, as I am yours.

237
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,604
Take me.

238
00:15:42,262 --> 00:15:43,698
Take me.

239
00:15:45,351 --> 00:15:46,620
Take me.

240
00:15:48,311 --> 00:15:49,549
Take me.

241
00:15:58,566 --> 00:15:59,823
I want to leave.

242
00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,534
- What?
- Take me home, now.

243
00:16:16,841 --> 00:16:18,409
Good night, Cheryl.

244
00:16:19,886 --> 00:16:21,781
I had a real nice time.

245
00:16:29,237 --> 00:16:31,310
I wasn't expecting that.

246
00:16:31,336 --> 00:16:32,917
Walk me to school tomorrow.

247
00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:35,143
Yeah, sure.

248
00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:38,212
Okay. It's a date.

249
00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:41,065
Toodles.

250
00:16:41,495 --> 00:16:42,565
Toodles.

251
00:17:08,432 --> 00:17:10,205
_

252
00:19:23,381 --> 00:19:24,922
Oh, my golly.

253
00:19:25,116 --> 00:19:27,467
Who knew the Dark Room
was gonna be such a gas?

254
00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:31,289
Isn't Clay just an astonishing writer?

255
00:19:31,451 --> 00:19:33,438
I can't stop thinking about his poem.

256
00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:38,312
I'm still reeling from
Toni's dance poem.

257
00:19:39,507 --> 00:19:41,938
It was pretty sexy, don't you think?

258
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,445
I suppose.

259
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,555
You suppose?

260
00:19:47,070 --> 00:19:50,781
Kevin, it was jaw-dropping.

261
00:20:21,443 --> 00:20:26,047
As I'm sure you're aware,
based on your eager,

262
00:20:26,445 --> 00:20:28,113
sweaty faces,

263
00:20:28,139 --> 00:20:31,609
today's lesson will be focusing
on the fundamentals of...

264
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,226
sexual reproduction.

265
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,734
Your bodies are changing right now.

266
00:20:37,976 --> 00:20:40,817
it can be a confusing time.

267
00:20:40,843 --> 00:20:43,505
You have many questions, no doubt.

268
00:20:43,531 --> 00:20:46,007
But first, first,

269
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,968
let's begin with a very useful diagram.

270
00:20:59,890 --> 00:21:04,083
Much can be gleaned from the
typical American flower,

271
00:21:04,109 --> 00:21:07,625
whose sole function,
with its colorful petals

272
00:21:07,651 --> 00:21:09,776
and its pleasing contour,

273
00:21:10,095 --> 00:21:13,461
is pollination or reproduction.

274
00:21:14,535 --> 00:21:16,391
I'm so confused.

275
00:21:16,867 --> 00:21:19,255
What do flowers and bees
have to do with us?

276
00:21:19,281 --> 00:21:21,344
Nothing. I don't know what
that speech was about.

277
00:21:21,370 --> 00:21:26,187
But recently I got my hands on a copy
of Kingsley's Guide to Human Sexuality.

278
00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:30,263
- That's got the real skinny.
- This is ridiculous.

279
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:34,511
If you fuddy duddies truly
want to learn about S-E-X,

280
00:21:34,537 --> 00:21:38,000
we have to stop talking about
it and start doing it.

281
00:21:39,737 --> 00:21:43,211
I'm going to host a make-out
party and you're all coming.

282
00:21:44,706 --> 00:21:46,291
Thanks, but no thanks.

283
00:21:46,317 --> 00:21:47,642
I'm a germaphobe.

284
00:21:47,781 --> 00:21:50,427
Is that like an orgy?

285
00:21:50,453 --> 00:21:53,187
No, it's kissing games.

286
00:21:53,267 --> 00:21:57,375
Spin the Bottle, Post Office, Seven
Minutes in Heaven, Pony Ride.

287
00:21:57,533 --> 00:21:59,075
And trust me,

288
00:21:59,375 --> 00:22:03,593
nothing is ever gonna be the same again.

289
00:22:04,211 --> 00:22:06,300
In that moment, before our very eyes,

290
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:09,429
Veronica Lodge became a
Georgia O'Keeffe lotus

291
00:22:09,490 --> 00:22:12,953
and Archie Andrews a hapless bumblebee.

292
00:22:18,774 --> 00:22:21,554
Gosh, a real-life make-out party.

293
00:22:21,625 --> 00:22:25,014
I'll have to check my book to see
what Dr. Kingsley says about them.

294
00:22:25,289 --> 00:22:28,278
Between you and me, it
all boils down to this.

295
00:22:28,531 --> 00:22:30,403
Boys think they're in charge,

296
00:22:30,429 --> 00:22:33,234
but it's all about our
pleasure, not theirs.

297
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:38,664
Well, right now, I don't think either me
or Kevin are experiencing much pleasure.

298
00:22:41,545 --> 00:22:44,349
The more direct you can be
with your beau, the better.

299
00:22:44,375 --> 00:22:47,187
I botched it playing coy with Archie.

300
00:22:47,728 --> 00:22:50,491
But I'll make my desires crystal
clear to him at the party.

301
00:23:09,523 --> 00:23:11,164
Hey, Blossom.

302
00:23:12,507 --> 00:23:15,412
You didn't stick around after
my performance last night.

303
00:23:15,444 --> 00:23:16,741
Did you dig it?

304
00:23:17,390 --> 00:23:18,922
It was a little...

305
00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:21,418
avant-garde for my sensibilities.

306
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:23,072
Archie thought the same.

307
00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:25,294
You have heard we're going
steady, have you not?

308
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,060
Yeah. We've all seen you parade him
around like he's some kind of prize stud.

309
00:23:29,086 --> 00:23:33,320
You know, you don't have to go to some make-out
party to pretend to be somebody you're not.

310
00:23:33,632 --> 00:23:36,277
Why exactly does everyone presume
to know my personal life?

311
00:23:36,303 --> 00:23:39,406
You're worse than my hobgoblin
mother, and that's saying a lot.

312
00:23:47,122 --> 00:23:49,937
Kev, can we talk for a sec?

313
00:23:51,321 --> 00:23:52,950
It's about the make-out party.

314
00:23:52,976 --> 00:23:55,286
Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking,
why don't we ditch that?

315
00:23:55,312 --> 00:23:57,567
No. We're going.

316
00:23:57,593 --> 00:24:00,078
It's happening tonight,
Kevin, you and me.

317
00:24:00,109 --> 00:24:01,869
Because you say that you love me

318
00:24:01,895 --> 00:24:05,159
and now it's time that you proved it.

319
00:24:13,747 --> 00:24:16,208
We'll cut right to the chase, Jughead.

320
00:24:16,333 --> 00:24:18,780
Did you break into Ethel
Muggs' house yesterday?

321
00:24:19,462 --> 00:24:23,510
I'm pretty sure that I was just at
home writing and eating hamburgers.

322
00:24:23,536 --> 00:24:27,609
Because there's a neighbor there that
reported someone matching your description.

323
00:24:27,635 --> 00:24:30,866
Teenager wearing a crown
exiting a window.

324
00:24:30,892 --> 00:24:32,129
Well, that wasn't me.

325
00:24:32,248 --> 00:24:33,989
You are a...

326
00:24:34,947 --> 00:24:39,307
Well, you're a bit of an odd
duck, aren't you, Mr. Jones?

327
00:24:39,525 --> 00:24:40,831
A loner.

328
00:24:41,513 --> 00:24:43,260
Like Miss Muggs.

329
00:24:44,010 --> 00:24:45,502
Is she your girlfriend?

330
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:46,984
She's just a friend.

331
00:24:47,010 --> 00:24:48,598
Are you protecting her now?

332
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,275
Maybe you helped her do
something bad and...

333
00:24:51,675 --> 00:24:53,737
now you have to protect yourself, too.

334
00:24:55,688 --> 00:24:57,577
I wasn't at Ethel Muggs'
house last night,

335
00:24:57,603 --> 00:24:59,523
and I'm not her boyfriend or...

336
00:24:59,549 --> 00:25:01,930
an odd duck loner, whatever that means.

337
00:25:01,956 --> 00:25:04,782
In fact, I'm going to a party tonight.

338
00:25:04,994 --> 00:25:06,736
With all the cool kids.

339
00:25:07,471 --> 00:25:09,781
- Really?
- And for the record,

340
00:25:09,807 --> 00:25:13,095
the Ethel that I know would
not kill her parents.

341
00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:15,940
You're barking up the wrong tree.
Now can I go, please?

342
00:25:16,602 --> 00:25:17,621
Yeah.

343
00:25:17,794 --> 00:25:19,284
You're free to go.

344
00:25:20,251 --> 00:25:23,659
Oh, enjoy your party tonight.

345
00:25:31,303 --> 00:25:33,338
Oh, hey, Clay.

346
00:25:33,995 --> 00:25:35,752
Thought I missed the locker-room rush.

347
00:25:36,354 --> 00:25:37,551
What can I say?

348
00:25:37,577 --> 00:25:39,893
I love a long, lingering shower.

349
00:26:00,926 --> 00:26:04,639
Are you going to that make-out party?

350
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:07,310
I don't think so.

351
00:26:08,237 --> 00:26:09,458
Why not?

352
00:26:11,825 --> 00:26:13,224
Because...

353
00:26:14,848 --> 00:26:16,254
I like boys, Kevin.

354
00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:20,661
And I don't think it's
that kind of party.

355
00:26:24,559 --> 00:26:26,911
That... That makes sense.

356
00:26:27,565 --> 00:26:30,505
Obviously, most people
don't know that about me.

357
00:26:30,961 --> 00:26:32,911
I hope I can trust you to be discreet.

358
00:26:33,709 --> 00:26:35,505
Of course, Clay.

359
00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:38,786
I gotta go.

360
00:26:39,148 --> 00:26:41,239
- Gotta get ready.
- All right.

361
00:26:48,521 --> 00:26:49,914
Hey, Betty.

362
00:26:51,134 --> 00:26:52,763
You know that...

363
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:56,052
sex book you mentioned?

364
00:26:57,764 --> 00:27:01,349
I was wondering if I could
have a little read.

365
00:27:02,592 --> 00:27:06,903
Just so I can brush up
before the make-out party.

366
00:27:07,364 --> 00:27:08,997
Of course.

367
00:27:15,518 --> 00:27:17,713
What do you think of Dr. Kingsley?

368
00:27:17,762 --> 00:27:20,646
I mean, I think... I think I get it.
I just...

369
00:27:21,864 --> 00:27:23,607
But how does it all start?

370
00:27:24,138 --> 00:27:25,935
That's the easy part.

371
00:27:26,333 --> 00:27:29,952
Okay, so say you're sitting side-by-side

372
00:27:29,978 --> 00:27:32,419
next to Cheryl like this.

373
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,911
Maybe some music starts playing.

374
00:27:43,954 --> 00:27:47,802
Now you might want to
say something like...

375
00:27:48,811 --> 00:27:51,941
"Cheryl, would you like to
get a bit more comfortable?"

376
00:27:58,248 --> 00:28:01,857
Say, would you like to get
a bit more comfortable?

377
00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:04,435
Why, yes, I would.

378
00:28:12,950 --> 00:28:14,081
Then...

379
00:28:14,649 --> 00:28:15,857
she might...

380
00:28:17,478 --> 00:28:18,849
do this.

381
00:28:21,112 --> 00:28:22,817
And then what?

382
00:28:23,098 --> 00:28:24,380
And then...

383
00:28:29,591 --> 00:28:32,250
- I'm sorry, Betty.
- Oh, no. It's okay.

384
00:28:32,275 --> 00:28:33,494
- It's...
- I'm sorry.

385
00:28:48,951 --> 00:28:51,542
Now, before we break off and retreat

386
00:28:51,568 --> 00:28:54,142
into the Pembrooke's
various dark corners,

387
00:28:54,389 --> 00:28:56,409
I thought we could warm up

388
00:28:56,435 --> 00:29:00,452
with a perfectly innocent
round of Post Office.

389
00:29:00,709 --> 00:29:03,511
Now, boys, each of you
is holding an envelope

390
00:29:03,537 --> 00:29:07,198
containing a number which
corresponds to one of us girls.

391
00:29:07,224 --> 00:29:09,870
You must deliver your
envelope to that girl

392
00:29:09,896 --> 00:29:12,377
along with a kiss.

393
00:29:12,565 --> 00:29:14,673
Fangs, would you like to get us started?

394
00:29:15,034 --> 00:29:17,732
Reveal your number and the
girl you'll be kissing.

395
00:29:19,001 --> 00:29:20,404
Okay.

396
00:29:24,580 --> 00:29:25,895
Number two.

397
00:29:26,599 --> 00:29:28,002
That's me.

398
00:29:28,254 --> 00:29:30,144
I bet you've never
kissed a greaser before.

399
00:29:30,170 --> 00:29:31,878
I don't even eat French fries.

400
00:29:31,904 --> 00:29:33,966
But rules are rules.

401
00:29:33,992 --> 00:29:35,771
Forgive me, Midge.

402
00:29:36,513 --> 00:29:38,036
Don't worry, square.

403
00:29:38,062 --> 00:29:40,615
I brushed my teeth earlier this week.

404
00:29:43,974 --> 00:29:45,425
Whoa! Was that cheating?

405
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:48,159
It's skirting the edge,

406
00:29:48,185 --> 00:29:51,006
but hopefully Kevin will
give us what we all want.

407
00:29:51,032 --> 00:29:53,809
Which is a real kiss.

408
00:29:53,928 --> 00:29:55,037
Kevin?

409
00:29:57,447 --> 00:29:59,033
Number three.

410
00:29:59,058 --> 00:30:00,459
I'm three.

411
00:30:11,026 --> 00:30:12,549
Hold your head still.

412
00:30:15,408 --> 00:30:17,477
All right, let's just
get this over with.

413
00:30:22,667 --> 00:30:23,805
One.

414
00:30:25,321 --> 00:30:26,712
That's me.

415
00:30:26,737 --> 00:30:28,196
This oughta be good.

416
00:30:30,094 --> 00:30:31,709
Nice to meet you, by the way.

417
00:30:31,735 --> 00:30:34,579
Pleased to make your acquaintance.

418
00:30:42,719 --> 00:30:43,954
Thank you.

419
00:30:50,805 --> 00:30:51,946
Five.

420
00:30:53,258 --> 00:30:55,829
That's me. How did that happen?

421
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,555
Excuse me, brother.

422
00:30:59,729 --> 00:31:03,665
I guess this is what's known
as a date with destiny.

423
00:31:15,263 --> 00:31:17,199
She's gonna suffocate him.

424
00:31:17,423 --> 00:31:19,145
But what a way to go.

425
00:31:23,035 --> 00:31:24,781
I think I got your gum.

426
00:31:24,807 --> 00:31:27,106
You can keep it. It's Triple Bubble.

427
00:31:30,671 --> 00:31:35,051
Guess that leaves me and the Wild One.

428
00:31:35,303 --> 00:31:37,652
Luckily, I've had all my shots.

429
00:31:42,857 --> 00:31:44,616
Yeah. That's not a kiss, preppie.

430
00:31:44,641 --> 00:31:46,067
This is a kiss.

431
00:31:57,567 --> 00:31:58,621
Okay.

432
00:31:58,647 --> 00:32:01,892
Now that all of our lips are
appropriately lubricated,

433
00:32:01,918 --> 00:32:03,070
we pair off.

434
00:32:03,095 --> 00:32:06,430
- I, for instance, might sneak off with...
- Come along, Archie.

435
00:32:06,456 --> 00:32:10,590
Let's find a private space
away from prying eyes.

436
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,363
What do you say?

437
00:32:17,709 --> 00:32:19,527
Shall we go to your room?

438
00:32:20,709 --> 00:32:22,230
Actually...

439
00:32:23,239 --> 00:32:24,414
You.

440
00:32:25,077 --> 00:32:26,314
Me?

441
00:32:26,340 --> 00:32:29,183
You just hit the jackpot,
Holden Caulfield.

442
00:32:29,505 --> 00:32:32,231
I guess that leaves the two of you.

443
00:32:34,996 --> 00:32:36,799
We could finish what you started.

444
00:32:36,926 --> 00:32:38,988
In your dreams, prepster.

445
00:32:39,044 --> 00:32:41,418
I will, however, let you drive me home

446
00:32:41,444 --> 00:32:43,369
in that sweet ride of yours.

447
00:33:07,359 --> 00:33:09,074
Don't, Hal.

448
00:33:09,394 --> 00:33:11,887
I've already called Social Services

449
00:33:12,206 --> 00:33:14,450
and she's going back to school tomorrow.

450
00:33:17,201 --> 00:33:19,137
Thank you, Alice.

451
00:33:19,883 --> 00:33:21,394
Of course, dear.

452
00:33:28,645 --> 00:33:30,736
Look, I don't know what it is
that you plan on doing to me,

453
00:33:30,762 --> 00:33:33,160
but I should probably let you
know the only reason I'm here

454
00:33:33,186 --> 00:33:36,286
is because I don't want people
thinking I'm a miscreant

455
00:33:36,312 --> 00:33:39,606
that helped Ethel murder her parents.

456
00:33:40,670 --> 00:33:41,848
Funny.

457
00:33:42,191 --> 00:33:45,817
Sounds exactly like something a
miscreant murderer would say.

458
00:33:46,937 --> 00:33:48,332
Relax.

459
00:33:48,926 --> 00:33:52,218
I just needed a warm body to help
me get away from Julian Blossom.

460
00:33:52,244 --> 00:33:54,006
That guy's an octopus.

461
00:33:54,102 --> 00:33:55,973
Well, glad I could help.

462
00:33:59,602 --> 00:34:02,972
By the way, what was with that
Holden Caulfield reference?

463
00:34:03,075 --> 00:34:04,738
Well, isn't that your thing?

464
00:34:04,955 --> 00:34:06,715
"Everybody's phony except me."

465
00:34:06,740 --> 00:34:09,266
No, I just meant that not
everyone in Riverdale goes around

466
00:34:09,292 --> 00:34:11,182
name dropping literary anti-heroes.

467
00:34:11,208 --> 00:34:13,785
People do read in Los Angeles, you know.

468
00:34:19,644 --> 00:34:21,504
So what's your dealio?

469
00:34:21,961 --> 00:34:24,692
If you're not dating Ethel
Muggs, then who are you dating?

470
00:34:27,068 --> 00:34:29,434
Who has time for dating?

471
00:34:29,746 --> 00:34:32,115
What with all these comics
to read and burgers to eat

472
00:34:32,141 --> 00:34:34,012
and monster movies to watch?

473
00:34:34,682 --> 00:34:36,355
I like monster movies.

474
00:34:36,450 --> 00:34:38,051
The scarier the better.

475
00:34:39,311 --> 00:34:41,777
I'll tell you my favorite
if you tell me yours.

476
00:34:50,392 --> 00:34:51,746
Ladies first.

477
00:34:53,538 --> 00:34:55,695
- Creature from the Black Lagoon.
- Really?

478
00:34:55,721 --> 00:34:57,635
- Yeah.
- That's actually my favorite, too.

479
00:34:57,661 --> 00:34:58,770
- Really?
- I love it.

480
00:34:58,796 --> 00:35:01,016
You know, you kind of remind me of
the girl in the white bathing suit.

481
00:35:01,042 --> 00:35:03,557
Julie Adams? I get that a lot.

482
00:35:47,935 --> 00:35:49,463
You're not excited.

483
00:35:51,404 --> 00:35:52,808
Of course I am.

484
00:35:53,803 --> 00:35:55,258
No, you're not, Kev.

485
00:35:55,479 --> 00:35:57,714
I can tell that you're not excited.

486
00:35:57,740 --> 00:36:00,627
You're not... aroused.

487
00:36:02,061 --> 00:36:05,635
Maybe if we just... If we
just keep kissing, you know?

488
00:36:27,515 --> 00:36:31,442
You can move your right hand
a little higher if you want.

489
00:36:40,585 --> 00:36:42,587
Oh, not that high, Archie.

490
00:36:44,158 --> 00:36:45,761
As my nana likes to say,

491
00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:50,177
"Let's leave room for the Holy Spirit."
Okay?

492
00:36:57,606 --> 00:37:00,280
Archie, your right hand again.

493
00:37:00,401 --> 00:37:02,798
I'm sorry if I'm screwing this up.

494
00:37:02,824 --> 00:37:04,706
I just... I'm excited.

495
00:37:05,391 --> 00:37:07,659
And a little nervous maybe because...

496
00:37:08,643 --> 00:37:10,495
you're so experienced.

497
00:37:11,271 --> 00:37:13,597
You know, you're used to
going out with college guys.

498
00:37:13,623 --> 00:37:14,933
Who told you that?

499
00:37:15,145 --> 00:37:16,237
Julian.

500
00:37:16,263 --> 00:37:18,433
Why were you and Julian
talking about me?

501
00:37:19,976 --> 00:37:21,126
Well,

502
00:37:21,432 --> 00:37:23,597
I mean, he suggested that I ask you out.

503
00:37:24,585 --> 00:37:26,565
Yeah, he said we might hit it off.

504
00:37:27,071 --> 00:37:29,268
Archie, I'm going to be honest with you.

505
00:37:30,509 --> 00:37:34,378
I've never been with a college guy.

506
00:37:34,531 --> 00:37:37,784
I've actually never
really been with any guy.

507
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,183
But...

508
00:37:44,064 --> 00:37:47,237
I'm quite certain we can figure it out.

509
00:37:47,481 --> 00:37:48,569
Together.

510
00:37:49,323 --> 00:37:50,683
Definitely.

511
00:37:56,752 --> 00:37:57,964
Dear Diary.

512
00:37:57,990 --> 00:38:01,447
The make-out party was
unsurprisingly a disaster.

513
00:38:01,714 --> 00:38:03,691
I want Kevin to want me.

514
00:38:03,716 --> 00:38:07,348
I want to feel desired.
I want to feel sexy.

515
00:38:07,429 --> 00:38:08,628
I want...

516
00:38:18,721 --> 00:38:23,145
I'm not sure how much more of this I
can take before I explode, Diary.

517
00:38:23,511 --> 00:38:25,551
Something has to change.

518
00:38:27,404 --> 00:38:28,997
And soon.

519
00:38:32,668 --> 00:38:34,244
My dear boy,

520
00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:36,161
any updates on our little project?

521
00:38:36,223 --> 00:38:37,707
We're made in the shade, Mother.

522
00:38:37,817 --> 00:38:41,942
Got Cheryl together with Archie and I'm
fairly certain they're going steady now.

523
00:38:42,238 --> 00:38:44,864
Very good, Julian. Well done.

524
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,122
Good morning, Mother.

525
00:38:52,503 --> 00:38:54,900
- Julian.
- Cheryl Marjorie Blossom.

526
00:38:54,926 --> 00:38:57,377
What is that lesion on your neck?

527
00:38:57,403 --> 00:38:59,424
It's a hickey, Mother.

528
00:38:59,456 --> 00:39:02,325
And I suppose you both should
know Archie pinned me last night.

529
00:39:02,818 --> 00:39:06,406
And I mean, really pinned me.

530
00:39:06,478 --> 00:39:10,098
As in, all the way pinned me.

531
00:39:10,582 --> 00:39:11,825
Barf.

532
00:39:12,801 --> 00:39:15,415
That must be Archie. He's
driving me to school.

533
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,765
I'd say he's a true gentleman, but...

534
00:39:18,039 --> 00:39:21,520
the truth is, Archie is a total animal.

535
00:39:22,433 --> 00:39:23,620
Toodles.

536
00:39:32,457 --> 00:39:35,565
Kevin, I have something for you.

537
00:39:35,590 --> 00:39:36,973
What is it?

538
00:39:37,026 --> 00:39:39,264
Kingsley's Guide to Human Sexuality.

539
00:39:39,289 --> 00:39:40,744
Betty, we're at school.

540
00:39:40,769 --> 00:39:42,900
You need to read it.

541
00:39:42,926 --> 00:39:45,692
Think of this as your own
personal sex education, Kevin.

542
00:39:45,718 --> 00:39:48,989
Finals are coming up and
it's time to start cramming.

543
00:39:49,624 --> 00:39:50,848
Betty.

544
00:39:51,172 --> 00:39:52,395
Betty!

545
00:39:55,157 --> 00:39:56,481
Hey.

546
00:39:56,770 --> 00:39:59,197
I just wanted to say
fun party last night.

547
00:39:59,222 --> 00:40:01,184
Sorry I had to cut out early.

548
00:40:01,210 --> 00:40:03,926
But, you know, I'm
playing the long game.

549
00:40:04,477 --> 00:40:06,645
Really, with who?

550
00:40:06,839 --> 00:40:09,832
I'd rather not say... yet.

551
00:40:09,973 --> 00:40:12,528
But how did it go with Bazooka Jones?

552
00:40:13,013 --> 00:40:15,012
Well, if you really must know,

553
00:40:15,475 --> 00:40:18,692
Jughead and I spent the
entire night together.

554
00:40:19,286 --> 00:40:20,523
Talking.

555
00:40:20,548 --> 00:40:21,840
Holy hell.

556
00:40:21,866 --> 00:40:25,848
Are you making a play for
that crown-wearing clown?

557
00:40:27,347 --> 00:40:31,051
Let's just say I'm not ruling it out.

558
00:40:37,224 --> 00:40:38,572
There she is.

559
00:40:38,598 --> 00:40:40,697
Oh, my God. It's her.

560
00:40:40,723 --> 00:40:43,024
Everyone's looking at
me like I'm a murderer.

561
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,375
Hey, this is all going to blow over.

562
00:40:46,652 --> 00:40:49,857
As soon as the actual
killer is caught, okay?

563
00:40:50,159 --> 00:40:53,188
Right now, just take it nice and slow.

564
00:40:53,214 --> 00:40:54,862
Attention, students.

565
00:40:54,887 --> 00:40:57,649
Will Ethel Muggs and Jughead Jones

566
00:40:57,675 --> 00:40:59,774
please come to the principal's office?

567
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,113
Ethel Muggs and Jughead Jones,

568
00:41:02,194 --> 00:41:04,769
please report to the principal's office.

569
00:41:10,685 --> 00:41:12,019
Let me guess.

570
00:41:12,141 --> 00:41:14,891
You'd like to know who was
canoodling at the make-out party?

571
00:41:14,917 --> 00:41:16,751
We searched your train car, Jughead,

572
00:41:16,777 --> 00:41:19,159
right after you left for
school this morning.

573
00:41:20,417 --> 00:41:22,299
- Why?
- In any case,

574
00:41:22,434 --> 00:41:24,855
we found some pretty damning evidence

575
00:41:24,881 --> 00:41:27,495
stuffed underneath your mattress.

576
00:41:34,031 --> 00:41:36,370
Care to explain, Miss Muggs?

577
00:41:37,602 --> 00:41:39,144
Mr. Jones?

578
00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:46,644
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