Hello, Austin EMS.
Do you think we're too late?
Oh. Hello.
Did you call 9-1-1?
Oh, yes. I was, uh, just, uh...
I was just expecting, uh...
Oh, never mind. Come on.
Edith is the one who usually calls. Come in.
How long have you had this pain in your head, Edith?
- All morning. - Do you have any history
of migraines or seizures?
- No. - She's the healthy one.
Okay, I wanna check your pupils now.
First here.
Okay. Here we go.
- Edith, do you wear contacts? - I do.
It's easier than trying to remember where my readers are.
Do you forget to take 'em out sometimes?
Well, they fall out.
Yeah, but it's not a problem because they're disposable.
I don't think they always fall out.
It looks like you have an old one stuck in there.
Yeah, go ahead. Lean your head back.
- Great. TK, saline. - Mm-hmm.
Alright. This might feel a little cold.
Okay, Nancy, swab.
Okay.
- Here we go. - Oh, heavens.
Do you think I really have two lenses in?
Um...
Not two.
Huh.
- Whoa. - Oh, my.
- What? - Okay, shh. Just be still.
Uh-huh.
It's like a clown car.
I think I got it.
Yeah, I think that's it.
Nancy, bag.
TK, saline.
How many were in there?
More than a dozen.
How is that possible?
Well, it's a lot more common than you might think.
They get lodged in the fornices, the area under the lid.
Yeah, that's not even a record.
There was a woman in the UK who had 27 removed.
Oh, my goodness.
- Oh, I feel so foolish. - Oh, don't.
- How's your pressure now? - Gone.
Oh, my!
You're a pretty thing, aren't you?
Well, you're all so pretty.
Um, the thing to remember, Mrs. Sullivan,
about disposable lenses is to dispose of them.
- I will. - Alright.
Let's get her on a gurney.
I'd like to take you to St. Raymond's.
- Just as a follow-up. - Oh, that's so sweet of you.
Of course. She's gonna be just fine.
The hell?
Paragon? Why is a private crew here?
Did you call another ambulance?
- No. - Nobody had to call.
Saw a request for a medical unit to this address.
We dropped everything. Came right over.
- Pearce. - Captain Vega.
Is that Pearcey?
Oh, do you know each other?
Yeah, the Sullivans are some of our most valued clients.
We usually just refer to them as patients.
Oh, these boys have come out a few times
Arthur's had his spells.
So you work for Paragon now?
Private sector's more efficient.
Pays more you mean?
You didn't lose our number, did you, Mrs. Sullivan?
Oh, no, dear.
Arthur called this time.
I just used the 9-1-1.
- Well, we talked about that, Arthur. - It won't happen again.
- We can take it from here, Captain. - Take what from here?
I'm sure the Sullivans will be much more comfortable in our ambulance.
And we're already familiar with their needs and conditions.
Oh, then you should have been aware that Mrs. Sullivan
is suffering from fluffy eye syndrome.
We removed several long-standing obstructions.
We're taking her to St. Ray's for a follow-up.
- No need to worry. - Well, I am worried.
I'm worried about those rapid breaths.
Arthur, did you take your Warfarin today?
Oh, yes. He takes it every morning with his breakfast,
just like you told him.
I've just been worked up about Edith.
I think we should take him to West Park now to run some panels.
But-but they're taking me to St. Ray's.
You could always ride with us.
You know, I think the LED lighting in our ambulance
would be a lot easier on your eyes.
And I'll even throw in a complimentary herbal smoothie for the ride.
- Ah! - I could really use a smoothie.
- Mm-hmm. - Hmm.
Okay, what just happened?
That rat bastard stole our patient.
Can they do that?
I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
In my line of work, you make it a habit
to cheat death regularly.
Any of us who sign up for this
know that that's part of the deal,
but what we don't sign up for is cancer.
And we would lose 20% fewer firefighters to lung cancer
if we had better testing and earlier access to screening.
But it takes money.
And that's why we've invited you,
because you're rich.
Uh...
So my crew,
um, will be mingling
to make sure that you have a good time
and to pick your pockets.
So, thank you very much for coming and enjoy yourselves tonight.
So what we got here is the 126 ladder.
Uh, also known as the "ladder truck."
In layman's terms, it's due to the ladder.
It's one of the items that we got up for the bid...
is a ride-along...
- on the ladder. - Hmm.
I hope you get a nice bid on it.
Um, Judd, do you wanna tell him a little bit more about the features?
- The features? - Yes.
Like why it may be exciting to ride.
Oh, well, uh...
You said you were shot, right?
Oh, in the gut. I'd show you, but, uh, you know, too many layers.
I mean, she's practically an action hero.
They kidnapped your ex-wife?
- And then me. - Well, I'm not shocked
that you'd inspire a stalker.
Serial killer.
It was my dad that had the stalker,
which was weirdly completely different.
So it goes 0 to 60 in, you know, under ten seconds.
Uh, it does have 2,000 pounds of torque.
- Wow. No kidding? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, you know, basically what you're looking at here
is a 35-ton rocket ship
with a hundred-foot aerial up top.
A hundred feet, huh?
Yep. Thirty-three yards.
About your average night of offense down in Houston.
Huh?
Our ground game is, uh, embarrassing.
I'm sorry, "our"?
Baby, that's how sports fans talk.
It makes us feel like we own the team.
- And what do you do, sir? - I own the team.
Money. I'm sure that's what this is all about.
I mean, they cut and they cut
and then they act surprised that we're over-budget.
I mean, I got a call from the department.
They want us to buy the thinner nitrile gloves.
Well, the thinner gloves they rip, which means we have to double-glove,
which only costs more money in the long run.
I mean, if they would just let us buy the proper gloves,
then-then maybe, maybe they wouldn't have
to hire a fleet of smoothie-slinging privateers.
I mean, right?
And because tonight's not about that...
No. Tonight, we're here for cancer.
I mean, we're here against cancer,
which I am really all about.
Against cancer.
Would you, would you like these?
Fun fact, this was actually
donated by the oldest winery in the Hill Country.
The Hill Country?
But it's so nuanced, so mature.
Familiar, yet unexpected.
It's kinda like reading Dostoyevsky in the original Russian.
Yes, exactly that. What did you say your name was?
- Mateo. - Mateo.
Your palate is inspired.
I'll be right back. My wife has my checkbook.
- Babe? You read Dostoyevsky? - Huh?
I love Dostoyevsky. How have we not discussed this?
Oh, because I don't.
I heard Cap say that last week while he was sipping Mescal.
I thought it sounded good.
Oh.
Excuse me, I'll have a tequila when you get a second.
Sure thing. What's your label?
Uh, Don Canto. Añejo if you've got it.
I don't see the Añejo.
Yeah, that was a long shot.
It's impossible to find these days.
Well, I do see the Reposado.
- How does that sound? - Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.
Terrific. Thank you.
Hmm. That's very generous.
Consider it solidarity.
- Between? - The normal people.
Oh. You think you're normal?
Okay, not normal.
I saw your speech, Mr. Beat-the-Odds.
- You've quite the story. - Yeah, well, in reality,
there was a lot more puking in-in that bathroom.
I will try to avoid that one.
For the record, I don't really relish telling my cancer story,
even if it is for a room full of people with a net worth of Milan.
Are you sure?
'Cause I think you relish.
- Did you just call me vain? - No, I didn't.
But if you are, you're using your vanity for a good cause.
You want a lime?
No, no. No lime ever.
- Right answer. - Kendra!
How are you?
I did not know you'd be here.
Good, Mrs. Laughlin, thank you. Jonathan.
How's your family?
Mom got Brett into pickleball, and he's obsessed.
You're the only holdout now.
Say hi to Lillian.
Bye, dear.
So you're not the bartender?
I was on a break, and I felt like a Pinot Grigio.
Oh, so you just went back there and got it?
I take what I want.
? Baby, baby, baby, baby ?
? Listen what I say ?
? Baby, baby, baby, baby ?
? Let me have my way ?
? I'm gonna keep on knockin' till the door unlatches ?
Can I make you a drink or something?
- I'm good. - Okay.
- 'Cause, I easily just get... - Shut up and take off your pants.
Good morning.
And then this dude just murders
this defenseless old lady in cold blood.
No way. That's so messed up. Well, what happens next?
Nah-uh. You gotta read it, Teo.
Hey, anybody seen a hot blond come through here?
Oh, yeah. The bartender. You just missed her.
Turns out she wasn't the bartender.
She's a billionaire heiress.
An undercover heiress? Dope.
You know what? Kendra is dope.
And she's mysterious and powerful,
but with the soul of a poet.
Sounds like you really hit it off.
We really did, on every level.
Physically, mentally...
- and physically again. - Whoa.
And then she gave me the French exit.
She bailed without leaving a trace.
- Oh, no, she left a trace. - Yeah, she left a note.
A note?
In an envelope and everything. How old world.
I told you she had the soul of a poet.
What's it say?
"Sorry I had to run, had fun."
Hmm. At least it rhymes.
What is that?
It's a check.
She paid you?
- Captain Vega, hi. - Hey, Jim.
- Um, is she in? - She is. But she's busy right now.
- Oh, I won't take long. - Uh...
Hey.
Chief Reynolds, we have to talk.
Uh, Captain Vega, can this wait? I'm kinda in the middle of something.
No, actually, it can't.
Is it true the city cut a deal with Paragon?
We didn't wanna say anything until the press release next week.
Chief, we have to cancel it.
Uh, those guys, they're-they're greedy vampires.
Who are... They're sitting right there.
Hmm.
I believe you know Jacques Lundy, CEO of Paragon.
Captain Vega. So lovely to see you again.
Is it, though?
Captain Vega and I used to crack on each other
all the time when her team worked for me.
- Those were some good times. - Mm-hmm.
Price gouging patients and upselling drugs. Oh!
Boy, that bottom line did okay, didn't it?
Which is why your chief here was so keen on our services.
They're gonna share 35% of their profits with the city.
With the recession, we couldn't say no.
Chief, I understand there are practical necessities,
but Paragon's code of ethics and safety,
they're simply not up to our standards.
Respectfully, I disagree.
Our motto, Captain Vega, is, "Elite care and quality comfort."
Look, it's right there on our business card.
Alright. Chief.
Look, I know it might feel like we're horning in on your territory,
but there are emergencies to go around.
Paragon's response times are impeccable.
Our equipment is state-of-the-art,
and our paramedics are ballers.
I think you all could make one heck of a team.
Thank you so much, Dottie.
- That means the world. - Yeah.
Captain Vega, you have my word.
We're here to help.
They're trying to kill us.
Paragon has partnered with city EMS
three times in the past.
Tulsa, Abilene, and Shreveport.
Two of them went fully private within a year.
So how do we stop it?
Well, we do what Shreveport did.
We respond to more calls and try to beat them there.
- Keep them from getting a foothold. - Exactly.
I resent that. And I resent the comparison.
Oh, my God.
Who doesn't like being compared to Richard Gere?
I don't. Particularly when it comes to
exchanging cash for romantic favors.
Oh, we got a live one!
Ooh, I say.
Who is exchanging money for romantic favors?
A gentleman never discloses.
It was the bartender. Yes, it was that bartender!
- Cap, I saw you cozying up to her. - Yo, she was a working girl?
Hey, my dad would never have to pay, okay?
- Thank you, son. - That bartender
has more money than God, apparently.
Okay, then why'd he say Cap had to go all Pretty Woman on her?
No, I wasn't saying Pretty Woman Richard Gere.
I was saying American Gigolo Richard Gere.
So hold up. She paid you?
No. No.
But would that be such an unimaginable situation?
Well, who is this gal, anyway?
Her name is Kendra Harrington.
You say Harrington?
Wow!
The Harringtons own half of the land in the Permian Basin.
So, ol' big daddy really knows how to pick a sugar mama.
She's not a sugar mama.
She didn't pay for anything.
She made a very generous donation to Stand Up To Cancer.
Yeah, except the check wasn't made out to charity.
The check was made out to Owen Strand.
She obviously meant for me to cash it.
Okay.
So what'd she put in the memo line?
Who uses the memo line?
Alright. Well, just how generous are we talking here?
Hundred thousand dollars.
Ooh!
Look, Kendra is a very pure, philanthropic woman,
and I will not have her motives besmirched.
Also, a woman who looks like that does not need to pay for sex.
Oh, and she's texting me right now.
- Hmm. - What's she saying?
"Let's get together again. Are you avail?"
Did she say "avail" or "available"?
'Cause that sounds like how I text my hairdresser.
- Oh. - Yes, I am avail-able tomorrow.
Alright. I know what you guys are thinking
and I am gonna get to the bottom of this check mix-up
because I may be easy,
but no one, and I mean no one, has to pay for it.
That sounded a lot better in my head.
This seat taken?
Go ahead.
I don't mean to intrude, but is everything okay?
I'm fine. Thanks.
Thank you.
I got laid off today.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Seven years I did the books, made the coffee,
but they got some new accounting software.
Now they don't need me anymore.
I feel so useless.
No, you're not.
Look, I don't know you,
but believe me, you are not useless.
You know, these hot pants aren't a fashion statement.
It's a, uh,
dialysis catheter.
Treatments five times a week for a year now.
Nobody tells you kidney failure comes with hot pants.
I'm sorry you're going through that.
I appreciate that.
Honestly, it sucks.
I can't play soccer with my son.
Go swimming.
For a while, I... I wanted to give up.
But I'm glad I didn't.
I found an organ donor last week.
That's amazing.
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
New kidney goes in next month, then I'm back in denim.
That's great. Even though you do rock the hot pants.
Well...
I'm Martha.
Dan.
Ma'am, take my seat.
I insist.
- Um... - Excuse me, sir.
- I just need to... - Yeah.
Oh, no.
Dan?
That might be a problem.
_
I don't know, Nance. Carlos says if we put four o'clock on the invite,
nobody will be in their seats until 4:30.
And you think it's wrong to deceive your friends and family?
- Because it is. - Let's go.
Patient hemorrhaging on Frazier and Green.
- We didn't hear a call. - Because Dispatch gave it to Paragon.
I picked it up on the radio.
Rat bastards.
Dispatch, this is Rescue 126.
- We got Frazier and Green. - Negative, Rescue 126.
Paragon's already en route.
Tommy, why are you calling my cell phone?
Gracie, you have to help us beat 'em there.
- Help you beat them there? - Gracie, listen.
Every time Paragon snakes us on a call,
they put our jobs on the line. Please.
Don't you make me regret this, okay?
Alright. It looks like you're in luck
'cause I think they just hit some traffic on Crawford.
Girl, just tell us where to go.
Alright, take a left on Savard.
Left! Left, Nancy.
? ... melodic sea the rhythm keeps flowin' ?
? It drips to MC ?
? Sweet sugar pop, sugar pop rocks it pops ya ?
Come on!
And then a right on Burns.
Next right. This next right.
Come on, Nance.
Now what?
? Dip trip, flip fantasia ?
Okay, then after that, take another right on Kessler.
- Right on Kessler. Right here. - Right here!
? What's that? ?
But in a second, you should see them coming up on your right.
? Yeah ?
? Feel the beat, drop, jazz and hip-hop ?
? Drippin' in the dome and mix is on the lock ?
Buh-bye.
Peace out, Eagle Scout.
- Whoo! Yes! - Yes!
Thank you, Gracie! You're the best.
Alright, you guys are gonna get me in trouble.
Okay? Goodbye.
Hey, you gotta help. A guy on there needs help.
- What happened here? - This guy, he had these tubes
hanging out of his leg. He started bleeding everywhere.
Alright.
Captain, what are we looking at?
We have a male patient with a severe hemorrhage still on the bus.
Alright, Paul, Mateo, fly in some backboards.
- You're assisting. - We're gonna need lots of fluids, TK.
- Copy. - Uh, yeah.
We can take the patient from here. Thanks.
- This is our call. - It was your call until we got here first.
So as first arriving paramedic captain, I'm the IC now.
You can distribute water and towels to the crowd.
- Wow. - Yeah.
This is a new low, even for the 126.
Why does he dress like a ski instructor?
I have no idea.
- Austin EMS, we're coming to you. - Please hurry.
I'm sorry about the mess.
Oh, sir. Don't worry about that, okay?
We're gonna get you outta here nice and safe, okay?
So just...
Gotta be careful, bro.
Blood's one of the most slippery natural substances on Earth.
Even more than motor oil... whoa! Oh!
Yeah, thank you, Mr. Wizard.
You guys, use the handrails.
Good call, baby. Alright.
Hi, I'm Nancy. I'm here to help you, okay?
- Dan. - I tried putting pressure on it,
but I couldn't stop it.
You did great, ma'am.
- Mateo, take over. - Yeah? Yeah. One, two, three, switch.
- Alright. - You hear that, Martha?
You-you did great.
Cap, uh, you were right.
Looks like his permacath got ripped out
and definitely tore his femoral artery.
Copy that. Tourniquet and get him off that bus now.
On it.
- Alright. Hang in there, buddy. - Uh-huh.
There we go.
- Okay, Dan? - Yeah.
- This might be uncomfortable. - It's okay.
I'm used to uncomfortable.
Oh, God, that's so much worse!
Did it work?
It worked. The bleeding stopped.
Martha, we got it from here, okay?
- Be careful. - Okay. I'll see you out there. Dan.
Okay, guys, get him on the backboard.
- Top's ready? - Yeah, all set.
One, two, three.
I'm so sorry.
- You okay? - It's in my ass?
- Yeah, sorry, that's your... - I'm so sorry, man.
You know what? I'm gonna sit back here.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Alright. - Okay.
- Damn it. - Okay.
- Alright. - Okay.
Hey, Cap, we got a problem here.
- What's going on? - It's like
black ice on Lakeshore Drive in here.
Maybe it's time you tried sledding.
Cross these hands right here. Like that.
Alright, man, let me know when you're ready.
Alright, keep your eyes open, Dan.
Look at me. Eyes open.
Okay? It's gonna be just like a game of shuffleboard.
Yeah, and I'm the puck.
Don't worry. We kill it at shuffleboard.
I won't take that literally.
- Ready? - Yeah. Toboggan time.
One...
two...
go!
Oh...
- We got you. - Okay.
Go nice and easy with him, fellas.
TK, hook him up to the LIFEPAK.
I'm gonna bolus into his jugular.
Thank you.
We got you, buddy.
Bolusing.
Cap, his heart's racing.
His BP's bottoming out even with the fluids.
He needs a transfusion now.
The nearest hospital is 15 minutes away.
He's lost too much.
This is it, isn't it?
Pearce?
Does Paragon still carry whole blood on the rig?
- Of course. - If you can transfuse him right here, he's yours.
Gregg, get it.
Can somebody call my son?
Cap, I lost BP. He's in V-Tach.
Move. Starting compressions.
Gregg?
Take over in three, two, one.
Hey, man.
Attaching the Y-tubing.
Bolusing saline, and now the whole blood.
Come on, Dan.
Come on.
BP's coming back up.
58 over 37.
What... What happened?
We lost you for a minute, but you're back.
You'll be alright now.
Damn, these dudes can ball.
- Yeah. - Yeah, they ain't lousy.
- Thank you. - Oh, don't thank me.
Thank Captain Vega for her quick thinking.
It takes a lot of grace to admit that you are second best.
He is one smug son of a bitch.
God, I hate that guy.
Oh, busting out the fine China, huh?
- Kendra's coming over. - That's right.
Tonight's the big test.
It's not a test. I'm just feeling her out.
And seeing if she pays you for it.
I would never stoop to something so crass.
So how do you plan to do it?
With a delicate dance of nuance and subtext.
I am going to engage her in a deep,
sophisticated conversation.
And then I'm gonna ask her to some highbrow event, or two.
And if there's something real between us,
she'll say yes, and if she brushes me off,
I'll know that she just sees me as a...
- A himbo. - Well, I don't love that term, but, yes.
Oh. The good news is I've already got my first clue,
- and it looks encouraging. - What clue is that?
She said she's bringing over Austin's best cuisine.
And why would she do that if it were just about sex?
I mean, I saw on a show that the Sultan of Brunei
flew in soba noodles from Okinawa for his girls.
I once knew a hostess on the Upper West Side
who was flown there regularly.
She never mentioned the food.
Oh, yeah. Lobsters from Maine,
a chef from Cordon Bleu, you name it.
I'm just saying, the subtext with these high rollers can get tricky.
Yeah. And then I'm gonna just offhandedly ask her
if she meant to write the check to charity.
- Offhandedly ask her? - Yeah, I'm gonna slip it in.
- Whoa. - Um...
To the conversation.
Cap, why don't you just ask her straight out?
- "Do you think I'm a gigolo?" - No one uses the phrase "gigolo."
It's sex worker, and there's nothing wrong with it.
So why are you so afraid to ask?
Because it would be uncouth.
Well, Dostoyevsky said that, "The fear of appearances
- is the first sign of impotence." - Dostoyevsky, huh?
Nancy's got me ear-reading Crime and Punishment.
I'm trying to finish it before I see her tomorrow.
Well, finish it upstairs 'cause that's her.
- Wish me luck. - I think you're good for at least 100 grand.
Get the hell outta here.
Kendra. You look amazing. Come in.
Not so bad yourself.
And you brought...
Burgers from Artie's. It's my favorite.
Oh, my God.
- Is that Limoges China? - Yeah.
Oh, I'm totally disappointing you right now, aren't I?
- No, no, no, no, no. - I'm so sorry.
No, no, no, no, no. No, please. Burgers are way better
than soba noodles from Okinawa.
So oddly specific.
No, I, uh, I love a good, cheap burger
as long as it's not commentary.
Don't worry. There's one thing I know for sure.
You're no cheap date.
Ooh. What's that supposed to mean?
- What? - Cheap date.
Why the economic qualifier?
Nothing.
- Owen, what's going on? - You know, I...
There's-there's something I need to talk to you about.
What is it?
- Miró. - As in Miró the surrealist artist?
Yes. What are your thoughts on him?
Um...
I love him, actually.
The way his style straddles the tension
between whimsy and...
The harsh realities of modern life?
- Exactly. - See...
I knew you'd get that.
Tonight, there is a special Miró exhibit at the Contemporary,
and I thought we'd have our burgers, and then we go.
I don't know. I was kinda hoping we could stay in tonight.
So just like last time?
I mean, maybe with a little variation,
but overall, it totally worked for me.
Well, I'm glad you're a satisfied customer.
That's one way to put it.
Let me ask you, wh-what is your philosophy on the memo line?
The what?
Oh, hey.
- Oh, my God. Who is this? - Hey, boy.
This is Buttercup.
He-he's a shameless beggar,
but he is a good boy.
Hi, buddy. Aw, he's beautiful.
- Yeah. - How old is he?
They weren't able to tell me at the rescue.
I'm sorry. You-you rescued a full-breed Bernese Mountain Dog?
Who leaves one of these guys in the pound?
Oh, it wasn't a pound. It was an organization
that takes care of dogs with cancer.
Wow. Just when I thought you couldn't get any more sexy,
you go and adopt a cancer dog.
Mm.
You know what? Let's slow play tonight.
Shut up and kiss me.
Oh, you're just making one cup.
Uh, Kendra left around 2:00 A.M.
- A.M.? - Yeah?
And you seem weirdly happy.
Why wouldn't I be?
We had a great time, and no monies were exchanged.
Oh, so no himbo.
No, it just confirms what I knew from the start.
That Kendra, on top of being
a beautiful and overscheduled woman,
has an enormous heart.
And I think that she recognizes that in me.
She sees me, Mateo, in a way that no one has in years.
And is our connection physical?
Yes, very.
But also, I think that we're drawn together
because we're citizens of the world, and kindred spirits.
All this happened and I didn't even finish
three chapters of Crime and Punishment.
Well, it's Dostoyevsky. They're long chapters.
- That her? - Yeah.
Why is her text sound a cash register?
It's a Venmo payment.
Another 100 grand?
Forty thousand dollars this time.
Customer loyalty discount.
What's up, man? You doing origami now?
Oh, please. I've been an origamist since 1982.
Nah, I'm just trying to work up my nerve to...
throw away this check that Kendra gave me.
So, I guess the second date wasn't a home run.
Oh, God. It was a grand slam.
Bringing my earnings to a total of 140K.
But she did fill out the memo line this time.
What's that? Is that some kind of emoji?
A bone emoji. Subtle, huh?
I mean, it's kinda clever.
I'm nothing but a cheap himbo.
Hey, there ain't nothin' cheap about $140,000.
I mean, most men would be a little bit proud of that.
Well, I have to admit, it was a bit of an ego boost,
but mostly just bummed me out 'cause I really liked her.
I thought we might have something.
Oh, she's calling me again.
Well, you can keep your cash, Miss Harrington.
You sure?
I mean, the firehouse needs a new smoker.
Hey, I'm only halfway kidding, man.
I mean, hell, you may feel a little queasy,
but every one of those zeros could save a life.
That is true.
So why don't you get over yourself
and give that money to charity?
As long as it saves a life, right?
Yeah.
_
According to dispatch, this place is a perfume factory.
We're looking at a possible airborne toxic event,
so keep your rebreathers handy.
If this is a perfume factory,
why does it smell like Thanksgiving?
Oh, the 122 Fire has landed,
but it looks like we beat their medical team here.
Unfortunately, someone else beat us here.
- Paragon. - My eyes felt scratchy,
and the next thing I know,
some of my guys started getting dizzy.
We got everybody out, but it was scary.
Yeah. Does the company provide insurance?
HMO, I think, with Incise.
Excellent. One of our preferred partners.
Okay, head over there, let my team check you out.
And tell your guys I got more teams coming in to help.
So any word on what kinda chemicals might be leaking in there?
Not yet. Hazmat's inside right now
with toxic gas monitors trying to figure that out.
Okay. Well, how can we help?
You're on hydration detail.
Is that meant to be payback?
Real mature, dude.
Guys, we're talking to our IC.
That's not a problem. We'll grab some waters and then pass 'em out
while we help your guys triage the workers.
The workers? No.
You're not going near the workers. They belong to us.
Well, who are the waters for?
The looky-loos.
- Qué hijo de nadie. - No, he did not.
Here you go, sir.
Try not to lock your knees. Can't have anybody keeling over.
I don't know how you could just nod and smile at that guy.
I don't know how you don't punch him in his stupid face.
He is insufferable. There you go.
But he's good at his job.
I mean, without him we wouldn't have saved
that patient's life on the bus.
But what if he's... so good at his job
that Paragon puts us out of business?
Then we help as many people as we can for as long as we can.
All units, we found the source of the leak.
Looks like it's just a spilled drum of isoeugenol.
Substance is secure and structure is cleared for use.
Thank God. False alarm.
What did he say?
- Isoe-what? - Isoeugenol.
It's, uh, extract of essential oils.
Actually, it smells a lot like pumpkin pie.
- Told you it smelled like Thanksgiving. - Dude. What are you, part basset hound?
Oh, uh, Cap?
If it was a false alarm, why is he taking that guy in?
Probably so he can ring up their premium insurance plan.
- I have to say something. - No, Nancy.
No, I have to, because this is gross and grand larceny.
- And maybe you can stand here... - Alright, okay. Just let me do it.
Paramedic Risher, uh, is he okay?
Well, he had the most exposure of anyone in there.
Exposure to a giant bucket of glorified pumpkin spice?
- You're way outta line, Captain. - No, you're out of line, son.
We both know this man doesn't need a hospital.
Son? Try Incident Commander.
You're right. I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have called you son.
I should have called you a profiteering sociopath.
You also forgot sellout.
And coward!
Nice. Well, you'll all be hearing from the chief.
Enjoy your suspension.
So that was totally worth it, right?
- Oh, totally worth it. - Totally worth it.
So what are your guys new career paths gonna be
once Paragon owns our souls?
Oh, I hear San Marcos EMS is hiring.
Gurney!
Nancy, LIFEPAK, trauma shears.
Alright, Pearce, we got you. Hang in there!
Okay. Come on!
Pearce. Hey.
Stay with me, okay?
His jugular's distended.
I do not like the look of his chest rise.
O2's 80s and falling.
Lung sounds are diminished on the right side,
nothing on the left. He can barely draw a breath.
- That's blast lung. - His left lung must have ruptured.
His pleural cavity's filling with air. We need to decompress his chest.
You wanna do a thoracostomy here?
We don't have a choice.
I'm gonna need a scalpel and a Kelly Clamp.
Copy.
Just hang in there. We got you.
Scalpel.
This is gonna pinch.
Gonna add a little pressure.
- There we go. - Almost done.
There it is.
Okay. Alright.
Occlusion dressing.
Cap... Captain...
No. Try not to talk.
Thank you.
You're welcome. Now shut up.
Alright.
Let's go.
... ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety... Don't...
Don't you whine at me.
This is the only way to keep your luxurious sheen.
Ninety-seven, ninety-eight...
- Hi. - You haven't been returning my calls.
Or my many texts.
- Yeah, um... - Can I come in?
Sure.
I brought you something.
Don Canto. That's the añejo that is almost impossible to find.
Keyword, "almost."
You know what?
Keep it.
- But it's a gift. - I think we both know
that your gifts come with strings.
Well, it's a bow, actually.
Don't be cute. You know what I mean.
No, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Really?
Okay, I'm talking about the world's oldest profession.
Yeah, I'm talking about sex work.
Pay for play, money for the honey.
Um... Okay.
I-I-I think, um,
our wires might have gotten crossed here.
Is it a rich girl fantasy?
You know, buy yourself a fireman for some blue-collar fun.
'Cause if it is, I get it. But it's not really...
My brother died of lung cancer.
Oh.
He, um, stopped smoking when he was 24,
but still got him at 40.
I'm sorry to hear that.
It's a cause that runs deep for me.
That's why I made all those donations.
O-okay. But you made the check out to me.
Yeah, 'cause I never thought you would assume that...
Oh, my God.
Owen, do you, do you really think I need to pay for sex?
Well, no, I mean, obviously not.
- I don't know. - Owen...
in what bronzer-soaked universe
would I spend $100,000 to sleep with you?
A hundred and forty thousand all in.
And I do seem to remember
you saying something about being a satisfied customer.
Mm, no, you said that.
You're right, I did. Okay.
But I'm not the one who Venmo'd
someone with a bone emoji.
It was a dog bone for your dog charity.
The picture was an unspecified bone.
I thought I was being clever.
I met you while you were throwing a benefit gala.
How was I supposed to know you were just talking
and not reaching your hand out?
Ugh, this always happens.
"This always happens"?
Not being accused of solicitation "this."
The money finds a way to ruin everything "this."
My whole life, I never know if people like me for me
or if they want something.
My sweet 16, half the girls left
when we ran out of Hermes gift bags.
- Hmm. - I know.
Poor little rich girl.
I don't care about your money, Kendra.
- Yeah, people always say that. - Okay.
How about this?
Next time we...
it'll be on the house.
Wow.
Somebody's feeling generous.
No, no, no, no, no. You...
You're the one who's generous.
Seriously, though, if the money is an issue,
- we can tear up that check. - Oh. Oh, no, no. Let's...
Let's not get crazy.
May I come in?
Come to kick a sellout while he's down?
I, uh... Karma's taught me better than that.
You know, I lost an eyebrow.
I see that.
It'll grow back, and it's, it's not that bad.
I look hideous.
No. No, you look, um...
inquisitive.
So why are you here?
I just came to check on how you were and...
and see how that incision is healing.
Thoracic surgeon said it was an exquisite cut.
- Hmm. - She said you missed your calling.
I told her she was wrong.
You're doing exactly what you're meant to.
That's sweet.
Thank you.
Uh, so maybe you won't sue?
Oh, no, I'm definitely suing.
Just not you.
Then who?
He lives.
How you feeling, superstar?
- Extra crispy. - Hilarious.
Well, I've got just the thing to make you feel better.
Arabian aloe vera,
essential oil diffuser,
a thousand-dollar spa day for when you get sprung.
Had my assistant go all out. No big deal.
Whatever else you need, by the way, you let me know.
Hmm.
How about $15 million?
- Yeah. - No, no, no, no.
No, you know what? Let's make it an even 20.
I want a schooner.
A schooner?
Did they do something to his meds?
I'm suing you, Jacques.
I'm going to sue you for everything you're worth
and then some.
Okay, look, I know you're upset,
but what happened was an accident.
No, what happened was the O2 regulator sparked
when I switched to the rig's supply.
The refurbished O2 regulator,
which I complained about on multiple occasions,
along with our CPAP and ECMO machines.
Well, if he voiced a complaint, then that constitutes negligence.
He complains a lot, so it's tough to keep track.
I wouldn't worry about that. I've got each one documented.
So you guys have been rolling
with shoddy, second-hand equipment all this time?
Yeah, it's all part of Paragon's secret sauce.
Cut corners to keep costs down and profits up.
Well, that's what should be on your business cards.
Oh, no, no, no. When I'm done with Paragon,
they won't have a card left to print it on.
Oh.
I... need to make some calls.
Ooh, karma is a beautiful thing.
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