Hey, Paul, what are you doing down here?
Ah, just catching up with a friend.
That wouldn't happen to be Marwani, would it?
Uh, no, no. An old friend from Chicago.
Uh, Marwani's, uh, cell service's a little spotty, you know,
out there in the desert.
She give you any indication when she might be coming home?
Nah. I think she's still trying to figure that out.
Right.
So
what's got you wandering the halls tonight, Cap?
- Work. - Yeah.
Heavy is the head, huh?
Just not heavy enough to go to sleep.
So what is it you got, IR reports or budget stuff?
No. Wedding plans.
God bless TK and Carlos, but they're such rookies.
I mean, you survive two weddings of your own, you know things, right?
That I bet.
For example...
centerpieces.
They have to anchor the table.
Whoever that is is blowing your phone up, man.
Oh.
Yeah, no, she's on an epic tear about The Bachelor right now.
Oh, "she."
Oh, so it might be more than a friend-friend.
Uh, no, I don't see that happening, Cap.
Take my advice.
If someone makes you light up like that, make it happen.
No, no, thanks, but I can't do that, Cap.
Why not?
Anybody here?
- Hello! - I need help!
See, Jerry, I told you they were open 24 hours.
Hi, I'm Hannah. This is my husband Jerry.
Yeah. Uh, how you doing?
- She can't walk. - Uh-huh.
So you strapped her upside down to a refrigerator dolly?
I wasn't gonna try and carry her
by her ankles for six blocks.
So I'm assuming you don't have a car.
How can I keep her upside down in a car?
Okay, look, keeping somebody upside down like this,
barring certain yoga positions, is very dangerous.
- So I suggest that we... - No!
No, no, no! You can't. You'll kill her.
She's having a... um, a medical emergency.
He's right.
If you turn me right-side up, I'll die again.
Now, when you say "again"...
BP's 120 over 60.
Heart rate's 65, Cap.
Is that bad?
No, it's totally normal,
actually, which is surprising.
How long has she been upside in this position?
Uh, half an hour, maybe.
Could you tell us what y'all were doing
before the symptoms started?
There were no symptoms. She just kept dropping dead.
And what were you doing when she first dropped dead?
We were, uh, in bed.
In-in bed sleeping or...
We were engaged in, uh...
- You know. - Oh, for the love of God, Jerry.
They're all adults here.
We were having intercourse, and I blacked out.
Her heart stopped.
So I tried to move her to the floor for CPR
and she slipped off the bed.
The second her head was upside down, she woke up again.
And then everything was fine until I tried to stand up again.
- And then she died. - Again.
I had tried CPR again, didn't work.
So I grabbed her by her legs and yanked.
And I came back to life again.
Alright, Nancy, TK, go grab the gurney.
Copy.
Uh, Hannah, I'm gonna lay you down flat
so that I can better assess what's going on.
No! You can't. You'll kill her.
No, no, it's okay. We'll be gentle.
Her vitals are strong. I think she'll be just fine.
I'm just not sure that what appears to be happening
is what's actually happening.
Jerry, sweetie, we have to trust them, okay?
Captain Strand, can I have some help?
- Guys. - Yep.
Alright, we're gonna lay the dolly down flat,
and then we're gonna move her to the gurney.
Alright, on three.
One, two, three.
Syncope. I lost her heartbeat.
- I told you! - Alright, forget the gurney.
Just get it back up.
Did it happen again?
You see? What's wrong with her?
Uh... I, I don't know.
Hey, you don't think this could have to do
with my pacemaker, do you?
- You have a pacemaker? - I didn't mention that?
No, you didn't.
Alright. How long have you had it?
Uh, about a year.
But the doctor said that it would last ten years.
As long as it stays connected to the ventricle in your heart.
I'm thinking that your bedroom activities tonight
might have dislodged the wiring.
And then when you're upside down,
everything falls back into place again.
- So how do you fix it? - I don't.
We need to get her to a hospital.
Cap, our, our rig isn't tall enough for us
to transport her upside down.
She can ride with us.
She ain't gonna fit in the fire truck either, Cap.
She's not gonna ride in the rig.
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
Okay, now, the YouTube lady said
to wait until the exact moment that the top layer
turns a crispy autumn gold.
What do you think?
Looks pretty golden to me.
Eh, well, looks more
egg-yolk yellow gold, right?
I should... probably put it back in for a few more minutes?
Okay.
I'm just worried
that any longer and the crispy will turn to crunchy,
and nobody wants a crunchy lasagna, right?
- Trevor. - Yeah?
Do me a favor.
Take off your oven mitts.
Hold my hand.
Take a deep breath in through your nose.
Out through your mouth.
Just breathe.
Okay. Better?
Hmm.
Okay.
Alright, listen, you got this.
Yeah? Listen.
Do you hear that?
That's laughter. That's a good sign.
We always knew our children would get along with each other.
The scary part is what happens when we tell them about us.
You've got nothing to worry about.
My girls love you.
And they've never been this excited
about going to church.
I think that has more to do with
my new Youth Director, Cory.
Oh, Cory.
Definitely helps.
But they think the world of Pastor Trevor.
Yeah, well, "Pastor Trevor" is a lot different
than "my mom's new boyfriend Trevor."
Crap.
Is that even the right label? Do we want a label?
Because I don't wanna rush anything...
Okay, stop.
It's the first time I heard it out loud.
Boyfriend sounds nice.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Okay, now...
Do you have any tips for me?
I mean, something I can, you know, score some points with Melody?
You already saved my life in front of her,
so that gives you a pretty good head start.
Good. So we're doing this?
- Yeah. - We're doing this.
- Yeah. - Okay, good.
You know what? I'm just gonna pop this back in the oven...
Yeah, girls, dinner.
I'm so full.
I feel like I have a little lasagna baby.
Could it be twins?
Don't encourage her.
Well, uh, ladies, we, um...
we have something we wanna tell you.
We've really enjoyed spending time together.
And we're interested in making our relationship,
uh, more formal.
So like boyfriend, girlfriend?
But only if you're okay with that.
I know, uh, Pastor Trevor is the first guy I brought home
since your dad passed away.
What about Julius?
Yeah, he lived with us.
Julius?
Uh, their Uncle Julius.
Ah.
Uh, well, listen, if you guys have a problem with it...
Does this mean we get a better parking spot at church?
N... No.
No, Izzy.
Okay. I'm still cool with it.
Me, too.
Just don't break her heart.
I will treat it like the treasure that it is.
Mel?
I'm happy for you guys. You deserve it.
Well, alright!
Who wants to celebrate
by having some apple pie a la mode?
I do.
- Great. - Mel?
No, thanks, I'm stuffed.
- Alright. - Alright, help that man
scoop some ice cream now.
Oh.
Melody, I am so excited.
I, I just, I know that we're gonna have so much fun together.
I don't.
Oh.
You're not joking, are you?
No, I'm not.
Uh...
Don't look at him. Look at me.
You have to break up with him before this goes any further.
Okay, honey, um,
that sounds like you're giving me an ultimatum.
We can either end this your way
or we can end it my way.
You have till tomorrow.
Huh...
"We can end it your way or we can end it my way"?
Those are the exact words that she said?
Yeah. With a day to decide.
Holy smokes.
So just so I'm clear, this is little sweet Melody
who sings in the children's choir?
The same.
No. See, she's innocent and sweet on the outside,
inside there lurks a heart of darkness.
What she is...
is a Bad Seed.
Well, Judd, don't talk about
the pastor's daughter like that.
And she's not a Bad Seed.
She's just been through a lot.
I know. I remember what I was like when my parents separated.
I didn't come out of my room for a month.
I'm trying to be sensitive about this, I am.
I mean, the last thing I need
is to be at war with my new boyfriend's daughter.
Might be too late.
She already fired the first shot across the bow.
You know what? We're supposed to go out tonight,
and I'm just, I'm gonna call,
I'm gonna call and just cancel it.
Mm... No, ma'am.
You will do no such thing.
You will keep the date and you'll tell him
what she told you face-to-face.
And just do it with love and compassion
and it'll be fine.
Okay, now the secret is a smooth, steady pour
with a deft flick of the wrist.
And voilŕ, a heart.
Uh, dude, no offense,
but that doesn't look like a heart.
Yeah, man, it looks like a butt.
Or a set of boobies.
Yeah, yeah, that foam is definitely not safe for work, bro.
Everybody, you remember Asha Fulton.
Oh, great. The HR lady again.
Hey, Miss Fulton. How you doing?
Very well, Firefighter Strickland.
Thanks for asking.
Uh, or the record, um, these weren't boobies.
It was supposed to be a heart.
Mateo, she's here to close out the first investigation,
not launch a new one.
Wait. Close out?
Does that mean that Marjan isn't coming back?
The Geralds dropped their frivolous suit
against the department.
Their attempt to blackmail us fell apart
after Firefighter Marwani took such a public stand.
- That's amazing. - Oh, we've got to tell Marj!
Oh, no, she already knows. I told her.
Oh. Oh.
Hey, how did you know already?
- Oh... - Uh, Captain Strand, is it okay
if we head up to your office to go over the paperwork?
Sure. Would you like an almond milk espresso?
No, no, no, no. She has a nut allergy.
Uh, I-I'm guessing that she has a nut allergy.
Good guess.
Uh, well, it was lovely seeing you all again.
Captain.
What?
You're dating the HR lady.
I am not.
How'd you know about her food allergies?
Wait, do HR ladies actually date?
Yeah, of course they do.
And she's not a HR lady, okay? She's the department advocate...
Advocate for the blah, blah, blah. Got it.
There is definitely something that just happened here.
Did you feel that?
Oh, yeah. Like actual sparks.
Okay, fine.
So, you know, the thing that was going on
is that we actually know each other.
Turns out we went to school together.
- You mean college? - No, in grade school.
- Back in Chicago. - Whoa.
And you recognized her from grade school?
Actually, she recognized me.
- Wow! - Right? I mean...
Uh, so, anyway, we've sort of just been reconnecting.
Mostly texting, but that is about it.
Okay? It goes no further than that.
Why the hell not?
She's gorgeous and super into you.
Yeah, dude, it's like destiny.
It is not destiny.
Wait, you really think she's into me?
- Oh, yeah. - Clearly.
Yeah, you should totally take her out for some nut-free coffee.
Exactly.
Sword and Slices.
A bounty forged in stone delivered to your home.
Don't make me do this.
Is the maiden of the castle in?
Your bounty awaits, m'lady.
Come on. Valerie?
I got your fennel and mushroom out here. Come on.
Is anybody home?
Oh, my God.
_
Okay, I'm sending an ambulance now.
Sir, listen, I need you to clear away
anything hard or sharp nearby
and gently turn her on her side to protect her airway.
I-I'm outside.
I was just delivering a pizza here
and I-I saw her through the window.
Okay, and what's your name?
Lance. I-I work at Swords and Slices.
Okay. I want you to try the front door.
See if it's unlocked.
Yeah, it's definitely locked.
Oh, no, she stopped moving.
Valerie! Valerie, wake up!
Sir, do you know the resident?
Uh, I... No, not really.
I-I deliver a pizza here every week,
but I usually just leave it on the stoop.
I-I think she's a shut-in.
She always says, "Thank you, brave knight"
through the intercom and then Venmos me a tip.
From what I'm seeing here,
Valerie wears a medic-alert bracelet.
She's a type-one diabetic,
which means she could be having an insulin crash.
I swear I got the pizza here on time.
If she's going into a coma, she doesn't have a lot of time.
So, Lance, listen.
I'm gonna need you to break into the house.
Break in? Isn't that illegal?
That's okay. I'm giving you permission.
- You can do that? - Well, I just did.
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Break down the door with my shoulder?
Any chance you play soccer?
Well, I play Pokémon GO.
- Why? - Okay.
Alright, Lance, um,
I need you to stand three feet away from the door, okay?
Then kick the heel of your shoe just above the knob.
That's it? That's the advice?
Yeah, that's it. Do it.
No. I'm not strong enough. It's barely even budging.
I need you to hit it with confidence.
I don't have any confidence!
I'm a 42-year-old pizza delivery guy.
I-I can't do this.
Alright, Lance, let's stop.
New deal.
We're gonna try something called a mule kick.
Okay? That should help you generate enough force.
Now, turn around.
Face away from the door.
- Take a deep breath. - Okay.
Now, that woman, she calls you a brave knight, right?
So I need you to prove it to me.
Raise your leg up
and kick back with as much force as you can.
I did it!
I'm in.
Okay. Well done, brave knight.
Now, listen, press two fingers
up against her neck next to her windpipe.
Tell me what you feel.
Uh, her pulse is going a mile a minute.
Okay, is she clammy?
Uh, I think so.
Alright, yes.
Those are all consistent with an insulin crash.
Now, hopefully, she has a glucagon pen.
Lance, I need you to look around for, like, a white tube.
It looks like a cigar. There's a red top on one end.
It's probably in her purse.
Found it.
- Found it. - Pull the red top off.
It's gonna expose a yellow end.
But be careful, that's where the needle is.
Okay, now what?
Okay, now push that yellow end
straight down into her upper arm,
and then just hold it there until I say so.
Okay. I did it. How do I know if it's working?
Go ahead and pull the pen out.
Oh, God! She's waking up!
Hi, there.
_
And I think I killed him.
412 Fielding Road.
Stay down.
Did you already call an ambulance?
I see one is en route.
No, I didn't call for an ambulance.
I just woke up and he was on top of me.
Lance, Lance, what's going on?
- Are you there still? - Grace.
Your caller's not at 412 Fielding, is he?
Yeah, he is. Why?
So is mine.
- Can I patch in? Okay. - Mm-hmm.
Lance, is that you?
Lance? No!
Some creep broke into my house
and I stun-gunned him.
Okay. So you must be Valerie?
Yes. How did you know?
The man you just stun-gunned, he saved your life.
He was delivering a pizza. He found you in insulin shock.
I helped him into your home.
Lance? From Swords and Slices?
Oh, my God. What have I done?
Is he moving at all?
No. I mean, his finger was twitching a little,
and then I zapped him again.
Okay, Valerie, I need you to check
to make sure he's breathing still.
I don't think he is.
And there's no pulse either.
Okay, listen, Valerie, the paramedics are almost there.
Do you know CPR?
Yeah. Yeah, I took a class online.
We're gonna do 30 compressions, okay?
This is why I never leave my home
so bad things won't happen.
Well, in my experience,
they have a way of finding you all the same.
You're doing great though, Valerie.
Please don't die, Lance. I'm so sorry.
Alright, Valerie, my team just landed.
- Ma'am? - They're here.
Okay. Alright. We need you to move.
Make some space for us. You did great.
TK, get his shirt open.
Nancy, ready the paddles.
Copy.
Clear!
Hi, sir. My name is Nancy.
I'm a paramedic, and I'm here to help you.
What happened?
Your heart stopped beating, but we got it restarted again.
No, what happened to Valerie?
I'm right here, Lance.
You might want to eat something.
How about some mushroom and fennel?
Oh. Oh...
You should be just fine.
They're gonna run some tests at the hospital
just to make sure.
Wait! Hang on just a second!
I just wanted to say I'm sorry
for all of the jolts I gave you.
It's okay.
I think a jolt is just what I needed.
Me, too.
Aw.
Speaking of jolts.
Thank you, brave knight.
From now on, I'll only be saying that to you in person.
Uh, I appreciate that, but I won't be delivering pizzas
to your house anymore or-or anyone else.
I quit.
Well, then we should probably get dinner out sometime.
I'd like that.
What the hell are you doing here?
Well, he needed a sitter.
Well. Okay.
Alright. And don't say "hell." Come on.
He'll be out in a second.
So have you seen Melody?
I have seen her.
Mm-hmm.
And she seemed okay, T.
- Sweet as pie. - Mm-hmm.
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you.
Hey, Mel, come on out here. We're leaving soon.
Wow! Miss Tommy, you look like a movie star.
Thank you.
I mean it.
- Okay, so dinner's on low heat. - Mm-hmm.
She usually eats around 7:00 and bedtime's at 9:30.
Let me show you where the Crockpot is.
And we really appreciate this, Grace.
Oh, you're so welcome. You'll be repaying the favor very soon.
No doubt.
I think that dress was a bad idea.
You just said I looked like a movie star.
You do.
But that's really not how you should dress
when you're about to break a man's heart.
Melody...
I'm not going out with your dad tonight
to break up with him.
I thought we had an understanding.
Honey, when we said it was important to us
that you girls be okay with this, we meant it.
Which is why tonight at dinner,
I'm gonna have a frank conversation
with your dad about your complicated feelings.
Okay. Well, don't say I didn't warn you.
My number is right there.
And here's the number of the restaurant
- in case you can't reach me. - Mm-hm.
And, uh, I mean, if anything should...
It's okay, pastor, don't worry.
I know who to call in case of emergency.
Of course you do.
Okay. Uh, we should be home by 11:00.
I love you, Mel.
You, too.
You guys have fun.
Alright, so...
So this kid has this toy truck, like, stuck up his nose.
-I mean, -ASHA FULTON: No.
his sinus is bulging up in there.
So I tell him it's not gonna hurt, right?
- Just a little white lie. - Yeah, for the greater good.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
Okay, so we get it out,
and when I tell you, this little G exploded, I mean, boom.
- "You lied!" - Oh, no.
"You lied! It hurt, oh!"
I mean, tears, snot. I mean, the whole nine.
I felt like such a monster.
Oh, no. You could never be a monster.
So you will never believe what I found
in a box in my closet.
Oh, is that the, uh...
Sixth grade yearbook.
Check it out.
They had a full spread on the basketball team.
Aw! Look at us.
So adorable.
Paul, you okay?
Huh?
Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, this is great.
L-Look, isn't that, uh, Carly Sonterras right there?
Oh, my God, yes!
With the rec specs.
I forgot all about her.
Ah, it's a trip.
I'll be honest.
For a while there, I was really questioning God.
Going through a divorce as a pastor
with the whole congregation watching.
It was rough.
I, I can't even imagine.
But there's a reason Isaiah says
that God's ways are higher than our ways.
And seeing the three girls together like that,
I mean, that was... it was amazing, Tommy.
I haven't heard Melody laugh like that since she was...
since she was seven years old.
I think what I'm trying to say,
Tommy, is that I am so glad that He led us to you.
I feel the same way.
But there's something I need to tell you.
Um...
Oh.
Hey, Grace, what's going on?
Oh, we'll be right there.
Hello?
Yeah, we're in here.
Dad.
Hey, sweetie. I'm right here.
I, uh...
I really don't know what happened.
We were about to sit down, start dinner.
She started looking clammy, and she just, she took a turn.
How do you feel, sweetie?
It hurts.
Aw, honey, I'm so sorry.
Tommy, I am so sorry to interrupt your dinner.
I didn't know what else to do. She's just been a mess.
Hmm. Did you take her temperature?
Yeah, I did. It was normal, but...
Oh, my poor baby girl.
Ow!
Hold my purse.
- Hey, Trevor. - Yeah?
Would you let me take a look at her?
Oh, would you, Tommy? Thank you.
Of course.
Hey, sweetie.
How you feeling?
- Bad. - Okay.
Um, will you sit up for me?
Go, "Aah."
Aah.
Alright, I'm gonna palpate your stomach, alright?
Just right here. Lay back for me.
There you go. Does that hurt?
- A little. - Little?
Hmm.
Should we call an ambulance?
No. No, no, no. That won't be necessary.
But I do have some good news and some bad news.
What is it?
Well, I believe she has
rapid-onset juvenile gastrosintesis.
- Is that the bad news? - No, that's the good news.
It's completely treatable.
What's the bad news?
The treatment.
Yeah. I need you to mix up some things for me.
Okay? Uh, milk and pickle juice,
minced garlic and, um, um, horseradish.
- Okay? Okay. - Okay.
Well, Tommy, are you sure that that's necessary?
Oh, absolutely.
Mm-hmm. Oh!
That's right. Almost forgot.
Um, raw egg and soy sauce and Tabasco.
Mm-hmm. Gracie, will you help Trevor out with that?
- Uh, yeah. - Thank you.
You're a lunatic.
Now, you can drop this act,
or you're about to have the worst milkshake of your life.
- How much pickle juice? - Can't have too much!
And, uh, you're sure this works, Tommy?
Oh, yes. It's my abuelita's recipe.
Uh-huh, yeah, the, the milk coats the stomach
and the-the pickle juice
just pumps her full of electrolytes.
What about the, uh, Tabasco?
Immunity booster.
Last chance.
Okay.
Here you go, sweetie.
Drink up.
Is there something you'd like to say, Melody?
Thank you.
Oh, wow.
So brave. Right?
Hey, Paul!
Ooh, looks like somebody was up late.
Yeah, I didn't really get too much sleep last night, man.
Ooh, you bad boy.
Damn!
Things with Asha went that well?
Not really, no.
I don't think we'll be seeing each other again.
Wait, what? What about the sparks?
Well, that's the thing about sparks, man,
they don't really last too long, do they?
Well, what the hell happened? This was supposed to be destiny.
Yeah, well, destiny is a bunch of bull, okay?
And this is personal, so I'd appreciate it
if you guys will stop riding me about it!
Hey. I'm sorry, man.
Paul?
Can I see you in my office?
Look, Cap, you don't have to say anything, okay?
I'll go apologize to 'em.
Oh, that would be a good idea.
But I didn't call you in for a reprimand.
Just to, just to talk.
Look, I appreciate it,
but you're already my captain, okay?
I don't need you to be my therapist, too.
The tension you carry around in here,
you take out there in the field with your team.
Alright? So, have a seat.
What's going on?
Okay, fine.
It's about Asha.
The woman from HR?
I thought you guys were hitting it off.
Yeah, we were.
She's not who you thought she was?
No, she's exactly who I thought she was.
I mean, she's cool as hell.
She's beautiful, funny,
and she knows about me
and she's clearly still interested.
You know, I thought it's all teed up.
There's not gonna be any surprises.
No, no awkward conversations,
because she already knows everything.
So what's the problem?
She already knows everything.
Um, I'm not sure I understand.
It's, like, throughout the whole dinner,
all she wanted to do was play remember when,
like, when we did Arsenic and Old Lace
for the school play
or when we won the city championships in basketball.
And those are unhappy memories for you?
No, they were.
I mean, the school play was never my jam,
but... I loved to hoop.
You played basketball?
Because I've never heard you talk about it or watch a game.
Why, why'd you give it up?
Uh...
I-I guess before I transitioned,
there were these things, like...
these parts of myself that...
were so tied to who everybody thought I should be
that I had to, like, close the door on them
in order to really be who I am.
And she's seen behind all those doors.
And there are some of 'em you still don't wanna open up.
Yeah, I guess you can call it a survival mechanism.
But, hey, Cap, I really appreciate you
letting me come in here and talk to you, um, and clear my head.
I feel like I'm ready to go back to work.
- Is it cool if I go? - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure.
Alright, cool, thank you.
If, uh, if you're making another one of your, uh,
nasty pickle milkshakes,
I think I'll pass.
Aah. Gracie told you about that, huh?
Oh, yeah. Grace told me about
how you, uh, reduced some little girl to tears.
One tear, one single tear.
And, you know, and it was pretty great.
Wow.
What?
I don't know, I don't know if I've ever seen
this side of you before.
It's, uh... it's kinda dark.
I was just following your advice.
Oh, my advice? What-what was my advice?
Well, you're the one that said she had a heart of darkness.
I don't recall telling you to go full Tommy dearest
on some innocent child.
Oh, first of all, not innocent, okay?
And secondly, she, well...
She started it.
Mm-hmm.
You know, if you're gonna come for the queen,
you best come correct.
Yes, yes. Yes, Your Highness.
Uh...
looks like you got company.
Melody?
Um...
What are you doing here?
Miss Tommy. Can I speak with you?
Yeah. Um, is your dad here?
No. This is between us.
Okay.
Uh...
Come with me.
Um, can I get you something to drink?
I think I'll pass on another drink from you.
Oh.
Right. Uh...
So...
"Juvenile gastrosintesis."
I looked it up.
It doesn't exist.
No. No, it doesn't.
And not my finest hour.
It was well played.
If I'm being honest,
I had no idea what I was going up against.
Believe me, kid, neither did I.
Listen... Melody, this thing between us has...
gone far enough, don't you think?
I mean, let's just call a truce.
But we're just getting to the fun part.
What are you talking about?
Uncle Julius.
I saw his photos online.
I can't blame you.
He's hot.
What are you suggesting?
You know, Evie and Izzy have been so great to me.
Showing me around school, hanging out.
We do a lot of talking on the playground.
Why am I picturing a prison yard?
And they told me all about how they saw
their mom and Uncle Julius
doing something a mom and her brother should never do.
Okay, you know what? First of all, not my brother.
Brother-in-law.
And we were very careful not...
They never told you any of that, did they?
No. But you just did.
Brother-in-law.
And we were very careful not...
Bad Seed.
I don't know what that means,
but this is your last chance to break up with my dad
or else I'll tell him all about
what you did with your own brother.
In-law.
Brother-in-law!
- For you. - Thank you, Gracie,
for making time in the middle of your shift.
Why do I feel like my coffee break
is going to be the biggest emergency I'll face all day?
Well, I didn't think it was possible,
but that kid has topped herself.
She's blackmailing me.
- She's blackmailing you? - Mm-hmm.
Tommy, what could she possibly blackmail you about?
Uncle Julius.
Yeah, she's threatening to tell her dad
that I had a fling
with my deceased husband's baby brother.
What?
Okay, well, maybe that child
is a little evil, then,
because how can she make up something so...
- Tommy? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, oh, oh.
You and Julius?
Yes.
- So... - What?
How was it, Tommy?
It was kinda mind-blowing, actually.
- Yes. - Mm-hmm. I bet it was.
Uh, okay, listen, we need to get back on topic here, okay?
- Just focus. Alright. - Okay.
'Cause I've been gaming out some scenarios
to help bring this Melody situation to a conclusion.
Okay. Well, let's hear 'em then.
Alright, so no bad ideas, right?
Okay. Yeah, sure.
Okay. So I eavesdropped on Iz and Evie last night
and they were talking about how Melody has a secret TikTok
where she uses bad words and talks about boys,
and it's like all this really good, useful dirt, right?
So I thought that I would blackmail her
to stop blackmailing me.
So... So that one's a bad idea.
No. No bad ideas.
It is, Tommy,
because if I'm being honest with you,
you really don't have to game anything out
because you really only have one option.
No. Gracie, don't say the truth.
It's the truth. You owe it to Trevor.
Gracie.
No. If I snitch on her now,
she'll never forgive me.
If you don't tell Trevor,
this whole battle royale between you and Melody
is going to blow up in both of your faces.
And it's going to turn out worse for one
than it's going to for the other.
Which one?
The one that's not 12.
Tommy, this is a nice surprise.
Trevor, um, I'm sorry to stop in like this,
but, uh, am I interrupting something?
No, no, no, I was just, uh, going over
my notes for tomorrow's sermon.
Oh.
The Power of Forgiveness in Second Timothy.
Oh, we can all use some of that.
Uh...
So, um, is-is Melody around?
Uh, she's sleeping in, I think.
Oh.
Tommy, what's going on? Is something wrong?
Uh, yes. Uh... yes, Trevor.
Something is... Something's very wrong.
Look, I-I just think that we jumped in too fast.
Formalizing our-our relationship with the girls.
Oh, no. Are Evie and Izzy having problems?
No.
Uh, but I-I think I am.
Oh.
How do you mean?
I mean that, uh...
I haven't been behaving like the person I wanna be.
Tommy, what are you talking about?
You're one of the most kind and honest people
that I've ever met.
And I have not been as honest
or kind as you might think.
Also, um...
I...
I slept with my deceased husband's brother last year,
and I'm not the least bit ashamed about it.
Okay.
Well, that last part is between you and...
- God. - Your brother-in-law.
Right.
And it's in the past.
It is in the past, right?
Yes. Yes.
Okay, so then what is really going on here, Tommy?
Did Melody say something to you?
This is not about her.
This is about me and I-I just...
I think it's best if we...
break up now...
before somebody gets hurt.
Hmm.
Well, it's too late for that, Tommy.
I'm so sorry, Trevor.
Daddy!
Out here, sweetie.
I-I don't feel too good.
You can stop now, Melody.
Really. You won.
We just broke up.
No, it really hurts this time.
What do you mean "you won"?
And what do you mean "this time"?
Oh, alright. Come here.
Here, sit down.
Let me take a look at you, alright?
- Can you tell me where it hurts? - My stomach.
Alright, is it, is it a stabbing pain
or is it more like pressure?
It just keeps squeezing.
Alright, um, have you been able to go to the bathroom
these last couple of days?
- Yes. - Yeah?
And does it hurt more
on one side than the other?
No. All over.
Okay. Is it constant or does it come in waves?
Waves.
Is everything okay?
Yeah. Yeah, she's just fine.
No. I'm not faking it this time. I swear.
I know you're not, honey.
Okay, so what's going on?
Well, Melody and I just, um...
We need to have a moment alone.
Could you show me to your room?
Okay.
Everything okay in there?
Yeah.
Almost done.
Feels like I'm wearing a diaper.
I can't believe this is gonna be the rest of my life.
Well, not your whole life.
But I'm not gonna lie,
it's no walk in the park.
Does it always hurt this much?
Heating pads help, and, uh, ibuprofen.
I really wish my mom were here.
I know, honey.
I know.
Hey, you know, you're gonna
be able to speak to her real soon
and she's gonna have great advice.
You know, the thing about your period is,
it's really just about figuring out
what works best for you.
Okay.
And I...
I know I'm probably the last person on your list,
but you can always talk to me.
Thank you.
And...
I'm sorry for everything.
You're just the first person my dad has dated since my mom.
And I was mad...
at him.
And you.
Oh, I know.
Believe me, I've been there.
Wait, your parents were divorced, too?
Mm-hmm.
And I may or may not have slashed the tires
on my mom's first boyfriend's Camaro.
I knew I shouldn't have messed with you.
So you broke up with my dad, huh?
I did.
Is there any way
that maybe you'd be willing to talk to him?
You can tell him it was all my fault,
but just maybe un-dump him.
Well, I might be willing to talk to him,
but, you know, I'm not gonna do it alone.
Come on.
Let's go.
What is this supposed to be?
A basketball.
I thought it might help if you picked one up.
Well, look, I appreciate what you're trying to do here, Cap,
but I don't need exposure therapy.
I'm not afraid of basketballs.
So there was about a four-year period
when TK was little where I didn't go
to a single one of his winter concerts.
Well, I can see why you didn't wanna see
a bunch of four-year-olds singing We Three Kings.
Yeah, well, I did wanna go.
That's the thing. More than... than anything.
Well, why didn't you?
Because it was too painful.
I didn't wanna look at him
sitting next to some of his friends
whose dads hadn't made it out of 9/11.
And so about the fourth year, Gwyn just shows up at my house.
We'd long since been divorced.
And just said, "Owen, you're going,
"whether you want to or not.
You survived, but you're still allowed to enjoy your life."
So is this your way of telling me
that it's time for me to open the door?
And I wanna show you something.
Oh, man.
Now, when did you put this up?
I had the probie go and pick it up on his shift.
You sneaky bastard.
Oh! I'd say you're about to enjoy yourself,
- but I know you're not. - Oh yeah, why is that?
'Cause I'm about to take you to the hole.
Alright, alright! Hey, you're not gonna make that.
Since when are we a basketball house?
- I guess since now. - Now, you done did it.
You just brought Chicago's second greatest shooting guard
out of retirement.
You comparing yourself to Michael Jordan?
I said second.
- Oh, there you go. - Damn. Paul can ball.
Hey. Yo! Come on, a little three-on-three.
I could play a little round ball.
Dad, I'm on your team.
Thank you.
Hmm. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
Alright. Alright. Now, that is heresy.
Who puts mango on a cookies-and-cream base?
I think there's something seriously wrong with your taste buds.
You know what, missy?
Don't knock it till you try it.
You know, unless you're chicken.
Ooh!
See, told ya.
It's disgusting.
No, no!
What I meant was,
I told you we were gonna have fun together.
Yeah, I'm starting to think you were right about that one, too.
Check.
? How you like me now?
Oh!
No!
D up, D up, D up, D up!
Alright, pass the ball.
CREDITS