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credits

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See, Stan?
You gotta choose

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if you wanna be
in Gryffindor or Slytherin.

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Yeah, can I do it?

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Yeah, see, you gotta fight
these fairy guys.

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Randy.

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Randy!

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The powder room
toilet is broken.

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Again!

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Did you jiggle
the handle?

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Yes, I jiggled the handle.

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Will you come
fix this, please?

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Okay, okay.

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Well, let's see.

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It's gotta be the little
black floaty thingie.

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What'd you do to it?

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I didn't do anything.

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Lemme see if there's
water in the bowl.

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No!
Don't lift the lid.

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Why can't I
lift the lid?

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Don't, Randy!

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Hey, guys!
Your mom took a shit

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and doesn't want me
to see it.

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Gross, Dad!

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Randy!
We need to get a new toilet.

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We can't just get rid
of Ol' Blue, Sharon.

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This is embarrassing.

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It's the powder room toilet,
the one guests use.

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You get a new toilet,
Randy,

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or I'm not helping you
sell weed anymore!

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Alright, alright.
Sharon, you win.

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As usual.

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Poor Ol' Blue.

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Can I help you
with anything?

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Yeah, just lookin' for a new
toilet to replace Ol' Blue.

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Alright, well, all our toilets
here are standard bowl,

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come with full warranty.

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How much
you looking to spend?

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Well I'm not poor.

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I happen to have
my own weed business.

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So that's pretty much
the nicest one you have, right?

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Yeah, that's probably
the top model, you know,

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before you start getting
into the Japanese toilets.

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Japanese toilets?

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Yeah, they're the sort of
the super-high-class

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luxury models with all
the bells and whistles.

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But you probably don't wanna
spend that kind of money.

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I'm not poor.

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Well,
we can show them to you.

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The Japanese toilets
are right over there.

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Hi, Rick.
This gentleman

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would like to see
the Japanese toilets.

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Well, of course, sir.
My name is Rick.

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Let me know if there's
anything you need.

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These toilets are all equipped
with the highest-end features,

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including an automatic
bidet system,

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bluetooth capability,
and seat warmers.

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Seat warmers?
Of course.

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And the toilet senses
when you've come into the room,

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turns on a small light,
plays welcome music,

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and raises the lid
for you.

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Can I offer you come
sparkling water or champagne?

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Sure,
I'll take some champagne.

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All the toilet's functions
are operated

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by a touch-button remote
which you mount

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where the toilet-paper roll
used to go.

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So then where do you keep
the toilet paper?

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With a Japanese toilet,
you don't need toilet paper.

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The toilet washes you
completely clean.

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You're mad.

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No, it's true.

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It has warm water
and a dryer

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and cleans you eight times
better than toilet paper can.

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Would you like to take one
for a test drive?

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Sure.

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I did have kind of
a big breakfast.

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Right over here.

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Okay, how much?

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Guys, I wanted to talk to you
because I want you all

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to think about how
we're viewed as a family.

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You know, as a prominent
weed dealer, we are successful,

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and we're sort of looked up to
in this town

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because we have nice things
that most families can't afford.

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I mean, Stan, you're playing
"Hogwarts Legacy"

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on PS5, right?

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You're playing
"Hogwarts Legacy" on a PS5.

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Yeah, my -- my point is
that most people in town

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don't even have a PS5.

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They still have PS4s,

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and so we're basically
the Kennedys of South Park.

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And the plain fact is
that well-off families

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have nice things,

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and we shouldn't be
ashamed of that.

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Ohp!
New toilet's here!

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Hajimemashite.
Japanese Torei des!

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Yes, thank you.
Bring it on in.

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Kyo fun yori! Kro fun yori!

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Kyo fun yori!
Kro fun yori! Kro fun yori!

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That's the new toilet?
How much did it cost?

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Sharon.
Tennish.

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What's tennish?
Tennish.

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Thousandish.
Ten thousandish.

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You spent $10,000
on a toilet?!

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We don't have
that kind of money, Randy!

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Yeah, we do.

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Shitsurei Shimasu!
Owarimashita.

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Okay, yeah, right here?
Okay.

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Doomo!
Ariganto gozaimashita!

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Arigato gozaimashita!

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K, thanks.

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You are taking that back
to the store.

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Try it, Sharon.

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I don't need to, Randy.
I want --

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Try it, Sharon!

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I wanna try it.

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Look,
there he goes.

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It's Mr. Big Shot.

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Hey, Richie Rich.
You eating caviar

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for lunch today,
Richie Rich?

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Stan, just so you know,
nobody gives a shit.

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About what?

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Come on, guys!

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Did you know some people
can't even afford to eat?

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How about caring for something
that matters, you bitch?

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What the?

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Hey, Stan, you really
have to be careful.

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Of what?

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Look, it's great that you come
from a wealthy family,

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but people don't like getting
their noses rubbed in it.

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Dude, I haven't
even said anything!

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Well, your dad called
everyone last night

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and told them you have
a $10,000 toilet.

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What?!

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Well, thanks for having us
over for brunch, Randy.

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Yeah, what's
the special occasion?

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You know, just good times
with dear friends.

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Does anyone need
to go to the bathroom?

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No, I'm --
I'm good.

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Maybe some
more coffee, then.

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Can you guys believe
all the snow we've gotten?

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Yeah, maybe it will actually
help with the drought.

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Let's hope so.

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Does anyone need
a bathroom break?

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Well, actually, I-I think
I could use the restroom.

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That was kind of
a big breakfast.

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Yeah, sure!
It's, -

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It's right across
the hallway.

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- Right there.
- Excuse me.

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What was that?

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00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,171
That's the welcome music
for my Japanese toilet.

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I've heard of those.
Aren't they expensive?

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Yeah, a bit.

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00:08:16,962 --> 00:08:18,804
But for those of us
who can afford it,

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it's well worth it.

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He's now turned on
the rear jet,

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which cleans your bottom
with warm water.

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That's the front washer

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that washes your balls,
or vagina.

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If you think about it,
a dry piece of toilet paper

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can't clean you half as well
as pressurized water.

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I feel bad that most people
have to walk around

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with fecal matter
on their anus,

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but I'm just lucky

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I've sold enough weed
to be able not to.

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But was it really luck?
Or was it hard work?

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Heck, I don't know,
but you know --

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Dad, can I
talk to you?!

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Stan? You're back
from school already?

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I need to talk to you
right now!

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The fuck are you doing?!

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00:09:01,191 --> 00:09:02,398
The fuck are you doing?

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00:09:02,423 --> 00:09:04,392
You need to stop
gloating to everybody!

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00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,141
I am not gloating.

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00:09:06,204 --> 00:09:07,505
Yes, you are,
and now kids at school

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are calling me
Richie Rich!

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They are?

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Nobody cares about
your stupid toilet

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- and you're acting like a jerk.
- You're stupid.

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00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:18,109
I'm acting like a jerk because
I'm trying to help people?!

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00:09:18,526 --> 00:09:20,203
How are you trying
to help people, Dad?

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Because the people don't know
that these toilets are awesome,

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00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:26,099
and I'm just, like,
the well-respected guy

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who's trying to open
people's eyes like JFK.

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00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:31,734
You are not like JFK!

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00:09:31,759 --> 00:09:33,273
You're just showing off!

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00:09:33,298 --> 00:09:36,546
Nu-I'm like JFK 'cause
I am trying to change things!

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You're part of a very
respected family, Stan.

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00:09:39,714 --> 00:09:41,499
You should start
acting like it.

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Okay, who's next?

190
00:10:05,196 --> 00:10:06,231
Randy?

191
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,355
- Randy!
- What?!

192
00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:12,484
Your proctologist
is here to see you.

193
00:10:13,205 --> 00:10:14,734
My proctologist?

194
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:18,645
Hey there, Doc.

195
00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:21,072
Well, Randy Marsh,
how are ya?

196
00:10:21,097 --> 00:10:22,832
I'm doing great.
How are you?

197
00:10:22,892 --> 00:10:24,994
Wonderful!
Just been super busy.

198
00:10:25,019 --> 00:10:27,851
I'm actually takin' the wife
to Tuscany day after tomorrow.

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00:10:27,876 --> 00:10:29,878
Tuscany?
Wow. Awesome.

200
00:10:29,903 --> 00:10:32,199
Yeah, well, Randy
you haven't been in my office

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00:10:32,224 --> 00:10:33,993
for a few days,
so I thought I'd come

202
00:10:33,994 --> 00:10:36,234
do a house call to help you
with your hemorrhoids.

203
00:10:36,921 --> 00:10:38,187
No, Doctor.

204
00:10:38,212 --> 00:10:40,437
I haven't needed
to come to your office.

205
00:10:40,462 --> 00:10:43,143
In fact, I don't think I'll be
needing your services anymore

206
00:10:43,168 --> 00:10:45,390
since I've gotten
a Japanese toilet.

207
00:10:46,054 --> 00:10:47,109
Really?

208
00:10:47,134 --> 00:10:49,136
It's completely
changed my life.

209
00:10:49,161 --> 00:10:51,185
I'm healthier,
I'm less stressed,

210
00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:54,013
and I don't get hemorrhoids
'cause I'm not smearing shit

211
00:10:54,014 --> 00:10:55,874
all over my ass
with toilet paper.

212
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,562
Here, here.
You wanna come see it?!

213
00:10:59,585 --> 00:11:01,140
Go on, check it out.

214
00:11:14,817 --> 00:11:16,187
D-Dr. Sheltair?

215
00:11:18,099 --> 00:11:19,382
Dr. Sheltair?!

216
00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:22,741
You stupid!
Whoa hey hey hey!

217
00:11:22,742 --> 00:11:25,031
You ruined Tuscany!

218
00:11:25,314 --> 00:11:26,816
- Stop it!
- I hate you!

219
00:11:26,841 --> 00:11:29,124
I hate you! I hate you!

220
00:11:29,149 --> 00:11:31,317
Go on!
Get out of here!

221
00:11:31,663 --> 00:11:33,185
How am I supposed to tell
my wife

222
00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:35,398
we can't afford
to go to Tuscany now?!

223
00:11:35,671 --> 00:11:39,031
I never realized you made
so much money off my ass.

224
00:11:39,056 --> 00:11:40,718
Go on.
Get.

225
00:11:41,093 --> 00:11:42,281
Get!

226
00:11:52,476 --> 00:11:54,240
Hey, Stan!
Stan hold up!

227
00:11:54,265 --> 00:11:55,343
What?

228
00:11:55,487 --> 00:11:57,990
Well, you're just
a really good friend, Stan,

229
00:11:58,015 --> 00:11:59,507
and -- and I was gonna
ask if maybe

230
00:11:59,532 --> 00:12:01,343
I could borrow
your plungercost?

231
00:12:01,898 --> 00:12:04,257
- What's a plungercost?
- It doesn't cost nothing

232
00:12:04,282 --> 00:12:06,827
when your toilet's nice
as yours, Richie Rich!

233
00:12:08,363 --> 00:12:11,023
I did it!
I called Stan Richie Rich, too!

234
00:12:11,323 --> 00:12:12,695
That was fun!

235
00:12:16,421 --> 00:12:19,264
Stan, you've got to stop
bragging about your toilet.

236
00:12:19,377 --> 00:12:21,279
I'm not bragging
about my toilet!

237
00:12:21,304 --> 00:12:23,168
And why is it
such a big deal anyway?

238
00:12:23,374 --> 00:12:27,083
It's a big deal, Stan.
You just don't understand why.

239
00:12:29,842 --> 00:12:32,827
Have you ever asked yourself
why we use toilet paper?

240
00:12:33,429 --> 00:12:36,742
We're told to wash our hands...
wear masks in crowds...

241
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:38,859
but for some reason,
when it comes to wiping our ass,

242
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,952
we're told to do it
with this little piece of paper.

243
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:44,498
We are all -- all of us --
walking around right now

244
00:12:44,523 --> 00:12:46,609
with a little bit of shit
smeared on our buttholes.

245
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,248
Did you know that 70%
of people in the world

246
00:12:49,273 --> 00:12:51,218
don't even use it at all?

247
00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:54,623
70% of the world
doesn't use toilet paper?

248
00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:55,589
Look it up.

249
00:12:55,614 --> 00:12:58,011
Most people in the world still
use good ol' soap and water.

250
00:12:58,670 --> 00:13:01,783
The average American
uses 140 rolls

251
00:13:01,808 --> 00:13:03,342
of toilet paper per year.

252
00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:06,011
Can you even begin to imagine
how many trees that is?

253
00:13:06,012 --> 00:13:07,846
To supply the United States
its toilet paper,

254
00:13:07,847 --> 00:13:12,684
it takes 31.1 million
trees per year.

255
00:13:12,685 --> 00:13:14,442
A million acres per year
of precious

256
00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:16,002
Canadian Boreal
forest alone,

257
00:13:16,027 --> 00:13:18,572
releasing upwards
of 25 metric tons of CO2

258
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:20,993
and leveling 90%
of the land barren.

259
00:13:20,994 --> 00:13:23,729
So, then, why do Americans
use it so much?

260
00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:25,564
Well, that's the big question,
isn't it?

261
00:13:25,565 --> 00:13:28,627
- None of it makes any sense.
- Well, then, maybe somebody --

262
00:13:28,652 --> 00:13:30,369
Just tell your dad to stop.

263
00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:32,271
Americans don't want
to change their toilets

264
00:13:32,272 --> 00:13:34,356
and they never will.

265
00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:38,026
Ladies and gentlemen, we have
a public service announcement.

266
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,445
One of our citizens
has asked to speak with you.

267
00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:43,448
Please welcome
Mr. Randy S. Marsh.

268
00:13:48,142 --> 00:13:50,501
Thank you, Mayor.
Thank you, everyone.

269
00:13:50,722 --> 00:13:53,343
You know, the Marshes are
a family that try to always

270
00:13:53,368 --> 00:13:54,960
lead by example.

271
00:13:54,961 --> 00:13:57,946
And we know that
all of you appreciate that.

272
00:13:58,764 --> 00:14:03,702
Everyone deserves to be clean,
and the truth is, you can be.

273
00:14:03,703 --> 00:14:05,304
You might not be the Marshes,

274
00:14:05,305 --> 00:14:08,679
but you can afford
a Japanese toilet.

275
00:14:08,704 --> 00:14:11,196
Just not a really nice one
like what we have.

276
00:14:11,603 --> 00:14:13,212
If you take into account
the money

277
00:14:13,213 --> 00:14:16,415
we all spend on toilet paper,
doctors, and hemorrhoid cream,

278
00:14:16,416 --> 00:14:20,399
a Japanese toilet pays
for itself in just a few years.

279
00:14:20,752 --> 00:14:24,323
There are actually Japanese
toilets made for commoners.

280
00:14:24,324 --> 00:14:26,792
Walmart and Amazon
all carry the lower

281
00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:30,429
cost of shitty Japanese toilets
that anyone can afford.

282
00:14:30,430 --> 00:14:32,164
There's even these like
attachment thingies

283
00:14:32,165 --> 00:14:33,532
for your existing toilet

284
00:14:33,557 --> 00:14:35,960
which will make you feel
like a Marsh yourself.

285
00:14:36,211 --> 00:14:38,546
They may not be
Nihon No style-ru,

286
00:14:38,571 --> 00:14:41,306
but they are
good enough for you guys.

287
00:14:41,307 --> 00:14:46,642
The point is -- even commoners
don't need toilet paper anymore!

288
00:14:46,745 --> 00:14:49,938
And, so, I am suggesting that
this town puts all --

289
00:14:53,288 --> 00:14:54,795
Holy shit!

290
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:55,813
Randy?!

291
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:06,498
I'm sorry,
but he's in critical condition.

292
00:15:06,743 --> 00:15:08,422
Who shot him?

293
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,173
Nobody knows.

294
00:15:10,532 --> 00:15:12,246
Is he gonna be okay?

295
00:15:12,271 --> 00:15:13,712
He's in a coma.

296
00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:16,938
He's unconscious
and just blabbering nonsense.

297
00:15:23,696 --> 00:15:26,590
Mr. Marsh, your whole
family is here.

298
00:15:26,615 --> 00:15:29,651
Your wife, your daughter,
and your son.

299
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,731
T-Toire Wa?

300
00:15:32,259 --> 00:15:34,628
No, your toilet
is back at the farm.

301
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:37,286
Taihen ja naaaa....

302
00:15:37,663 --> 00:15:40,365
Dad, I'm sorry I yelled
at you before.

303
00:15:40,366 --> 00:15:42,653
I didn't know you were
really trying to help.

304
00:15:43,135 --> 00:15:46,705
Kon-nichi waaa...

305
00:15:48,473 --> 00:15:51,919
- Stan, where are you going?
- I let dad down once.

306
00:15:52,465 --> 00:15:54,600
Somebody has to pick up
where he left off.

307
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,920
I promise we're doing all we can.

308
00:16:00,945 --> 00:16:02,379
I'm sorry for what happened,

309
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:04,315
but you need to leave it
to the professionals.

310
00:16:04,316 --> 00:16:06,317
There's something
more going on here.

311
00:16:06,318 --> 00:16:08,652
I think my dad was on
to something and I

312
00:16:08,653 --> 00:16:10,821
didn't listen to him,
and now he's in a hospital.

313
00:16:10,822 --> 00:16:12,222
We've already got a few leads

314
00:16:12,223 --> 00:16:14,024
and we're following up
on all of them.

315
00:16:14,025 --> 00:16:16,833
I assure you we take this
all very seriously.

316
00:16:17,027 --> 00:16:18,848
This isn't a joke to us.

317
00:16:18,873 --> 00:16:20,940
-Chief, hey, Chief!
-Yeah?

318
00:16:20,965 --> 00:16:22,495
An angry proctologist
walked in

319
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,401
to the toilet section
of Home Depot.

320
00:16:25,176 --> 00:16:26,203
Y-Yeah?

321
00:16:26,204 --> 00:16:28,138
Proctologist says
to the toilet manager,

322
00:16:28,139 --> 00:16:30,007
"I ain't taking the fall,"
and pulls a gun

323
00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:31,709
on six Japanese delivery men.

324
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:33,344
Okay.

325
00:16:33,345 --> 00:16:35,179
So, then, the six Japanese
delivery men show up,

326
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:36,981
and the proctologist
has everyone held hostage

327
00:16:36,982 --> 00:16:38,382
and says he's not
taking the fall

328
00:16:38,383 --> 00:16:39,880
for the Randy Marsh shooting.

329
00:16:40,652 --> 00:16:42,487
Shit, this is
actually happening?!

330
00:16:42,519 --> 00:16:44,254
Come on people let's go!

331
00:16:47,091 --> 00:16:49,026
I ain't going down for this!

332
00:16:49,027 --> 00:16:52,363
You got that, coppers?!
I didn't shoot anybody!

333
00:16:52,364 --> 00:16:53,831
But if I'm going down,

334
00:16:53,832 --> 00:16:56,233
I'll take these careless
bastards out with me!

335
00:16:56,234 --> 00:16:58,035
Would you like some
sparkling water or cham--

336
00:16:58,036 --> 00:16:59,606
Get -- Get outta here!

337
00:17:00,255 --> 00:17:01,473
Come on out.

338
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,903
There's no other way,
we have you surrounded.

339
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,169
I didn't shoot
Randy Marsh!

340
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:10,064
-Taihen!
-Nobody's saying you did!

341
00:17:10,214 --> 00:17:13,450
No, but they're gonna
use me as their scapegoat!

342
00:17:13,451 --> 00:17:15,786
They'll fix things
like they always do!

343
00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:17,855
-Who will?
-They'll use their lawyers

344
00:17:17,856 --> 00:17:20,224
and their power
to make it all go away!

345
00:17:20,225 --> 00:17:22,753
Just like they did back
when that 2nd grade kid

346
00:17:22,778 --> 00:17:24,461
wrote a story in the school
paper about toilets

347
00:17:24,462 --> 00:17:25,729
two years ago!

348
00:17:25,730 --> 00:17:27,197
They'll take me out, too!

349
00:17:27,198 --> 00:17:28,766
There's no stopping them!

350
00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:30,020
Don't do it!

351
00:17:32,036 --> 00:17:34,038
Sabishiiiii!

352
00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:35,806
Aww! Alright move in!

353
00:17:35,807 --> 00:17:37,241
Secure the area.

354
00:17:39,139 --> 00:17:40,929
2nd grade kid
two years ago...

355
00:17:41,045 --> 00:17:43,414
Wrote about toilets
in the school news paper.

356
00:17:47,251 --> 00:17:49,905
You weren't warning me
about people getting upset.

357
00:17:51,049 --> 00:17:52,651
You know more about this.

358
00:17:55,259 --> 00:17:56,288
Hey!

359
00:17:57,312 --> 00:17:59,013
You wrote a story
in the school paper

360
00:17:59,038 --> 00:18:00,097
and someone came after you!

361
00:18:00,098 --> 00:18:02,054
Yeah I wrote a story,
big deal!

362
00:18:02,266 --> 00:18:04,501
Jimmy, I want to know
who shot my dad!

363
00:18:04,502 --> 00:18:06,507
They took everything
from me, Stan.

364
00:18:06,637 --> 00:18:08,991
My bike...my cat...

365
00:18:09,273 --> 00:18:10,741
They were gonna
sue my parents

366
00:18:10,742 --> 00:18:12,640
for what I wrote
in the school paper.

367
00:18:12,976 --> 00:18:15,311
You're talking about
the toilet paper companies.

368
00:18:16,447 --> 00:18:19,349
Who has the most to lose?
It's all toilet paper, Stan!

369
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:23,120
Follow the money!
140 rolls per American per year.

370
00:18:23,121 --> 00:18:25,099
Factories pushing out
roll after roll

371
00:18:25,124 --> 00:18:26,590
while razing
Earth's resources.

372
00:18:26,591 --> 00:18:28,492
All of this for
an unsanitary product

373
00:18:28,493 --> 00:18:30,828
that has been proven
to contribute to anal fissures.

374
00:18:30,829 --> 00:18:32,366
Don't you get it, man?

375
00:18:32,391 --> 00:18:35,974
Paper doesn't clean bacteria.
It can't stop viruses.

376
00:18:35,999 --> 00:18:37,468
With all that information,

377
00:18:37,469 --> 00:18:38,836
you'd think
the world health organization

378
00:18:38,837 --> 00:18:40,843
would do studies
to find alternatives.

379
00:18:41,038 --> 00:18:42,639
So why don't they?

380
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,675
Because toilet paper
is an industry worth

381
00:18:44,676 --> 00:18:48,212
billions and b-billions
of dollars.

382
00:18:48,213 --> 00:18:52,101
Kimberly-Clark, Georgia-Pacific,
Procter & Gamble.

383
00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:54,853
They don't want Japanese
toilets in America

384
00:18:55,018 --> 00:18:57,061
and they have the power
to stop them,

385
00:18:57,086 --> 00:18:58,835
and to stop you.

386
00:19:00,363 --> 00:19:02,565
I can't believe
they shot my dad...

387
00:19:02,590 --> 00:19:04,804
because he wanted
to change things.

388
00:19:05,129 --> 00:19:08,655
These people have deeper pockets
than you can possibly imagine.

389
00:19:08,832 --> 00:19:11,851
They can destroy
everything you love, Stan.

390
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,645
Take my advice...

391
00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:16,686
Don't. Squeeze.
The Charmin.

392
00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:21,678
You might be too scared Jimmy,
but I'm a Marsh.

393
00:19:26,114 --> 00:19:27,749
My fellow Americans...

394
00:19:27,851 --> 00:19:29,820
we have been coerced
and brain washed.

395
00:19:29,821 --> 00:19:31,522
While the rest of the world
walks around

396
00:19:31,523 --> 00:19:34,240
with cleaner buttholes,
we are obsessed with dry paper

397
00:19:34,265 --> 00:19:36,726
sold to us by billion-dollar
corporations.

398
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:39,913
-Yeah.
-Hey, yeah, he's right!

399
00:19:39,938 --> 00:19:42,432
My father wanted everyone to see
that there were alternatives.

400
00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:44,501
But they don't want him talking
about alternatives!

401
00:19:44,502 --> 00:19:46,203
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!

402
00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:49,206
And we can't be blindly
buying their products anymore.

403
00:19:49,207 --> 00:19:51,542
And as a town,
we will find alternatives,

404
00:19:51,543 --> 00:19:52,776
and we will not
be afraid to --

405
00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:55,412
Stop! Stop!
We're not doing this!

406
00:19:55,413 --> 00:19:57,681
- Dad!
- Everyone just stop, we're not doing this.

407
00:19:57,682 --> 00:19:59,951
Thank you. South Park,
we-we're cutting this short.

408
00:19:59,976 --> 00:20:02,286
I was totally wrong
and I want to apologize.

409
00:20:02,287 --> 00:20:03,854
No, dad, it's the toilet
paper companies

410
00:20:03,855 --> 00:20:05,622
that are behind all the --
Yeah, I know.

411
00:20:05,623 --> 00:20:07,891
Yeah, so, w-we have
nothing against toilet paper.

412
00:20:07,892 --> 00:20:09,393
It's a great product
and,

413
00:20:09,394 --> 00:20:10,894
it was childish of me
to make fun of it.

414
00:20:10,895 --> 00:20:12,563
Thanks, though.
We'll see ya later.

415
00:20:12,564 --> 00:20:14,097
Dad,
we can't just back down.

416
00:20:14,098 --> 00:20:16,203
- Bro!
- I got shot!

417
00:20:18,235 --> 00:20:19,937
Japanese toilets are
totally unnecessary,

418
00:20:19,938 --> 00:20:21,738
and, in case anyone
else is listening,

419
00:20:21,739 --> 00:20:24,687
I think all of South Park
would like to apologize.

420
00:20:24,908 --> 00:20:27,578
We retract what we said about
toilet paper companies.

421
00:20:27,579 --> 00:20:30,195
They -- They have done nothing
but help us, and we are sorry.

422
00:20:31,048 --> 00:20:33,171
South Park -- everyone --
say you're sorry.

423
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,428
We're sorry.

424
00:20:36,453 --> 00:20:38,655
Okay, great.
Come on, guys, let's go home.

425
00:20:38,755 --> 00:20:41,091
What about helping people
and leading by example?

426
00:20:41,092 --> 00:20:42,976
We're not the goddamn
Kennedys, Stan.

427
00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:44,669
Stop being an idiot.

428
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,084
Nice to have you back,
Ol' Blue.

429
00:21:13,490 --> 00:21:16,053
You know, guys,
I'm actually not that sad.

430
00:21:16,078 --> 00:21:18,670
Having a Japanese toilet
was great, but...

431
00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,597
I've come to realize that,

432
00:21:20,598 --> 00:21:23,300
when you have some big,
nice luxury thing,

433
00:21:23,301 --> 00:21:25,269
it eventually
just becomes normal.

434
00:21:25,270 --> 00:21:27,104
But you start comparing it to
all the other things

435
00:21:27,105 --> 00:21:30,507
in your life which suddenly feel
you have to upgrade, too.

436
00:21:30,508 --> 00:21:32,976
So, it's really best to just

437
00:21:32,977 --> 00:21:36,123
stick with the beat-up,
crappy old things we have.

438
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,023
Love you forever, Honey.

439
00:21:40,597 --> 00:21:47,597
credits