1
00:00:03,126 --> 00:00:04,203
What is gout?

2
00:00:04,228 --> 00:00:06,211
Are you a 15th century British monarch?

3
00:00:06,236 --> 00:00:08,094
- No.
- You don't have it.

4
00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:09,382
Hmm.

5
00:00:09,407 --> 00:00:11,424
God, there's like 5,000 questions.

6
00:00:11,449 --> 00:00:12,873
You're a city employee now.

7
00:00:12,898 --> 00:00:15,474
Half your life is gonna be
paperwork, congrats.

8
00:00:15,499 --> 00:00:19,085
Hey, is it okay if I put you
down as my emergency contact?

9
00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:20,992
Well, since I'm the guy
most likely to harm you,

10
00:00:21,017 --> 00:00:22,625
it seems like a conflict of interest.

11
00:00:22,650 --> 00:00:25,734
Truck 12. Resident
reporting problem with rabbits.

12
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,167
907 Maple Lane.

13
00:00:28,412 --> 00:00:32,210
Question, have subjects
been observed as... wascaly?

14
00:00:33,626 --> 00:00:35,367
Are you going or not?

15
00:00:35,392 --> 00:00:38,651
Yes. We'll hop right on over.

16
00:00:38,811 --> 00:00:39,960
That's it, get out.

17
00:00:40,088 --> 00:00:41,265
What?

18
00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:43,559
We talked about this,
two lame jokes before coffee, get out.

19
00:00:43,584 --> 00:00:45,726
Wait, really?
You were serious about that?

20
00:00:45,751 --> 00:00:47,342
As a heart attack.

21
00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:49,810
Hey. Come on.

22
00:00:49,835 --> 00:00:51,417
You're taking this too far, Frank.

23
00:00:52,943 --> 00:00:56,286
You can come back! I learned my lesson!

24
00:00:57,305 --> 00:00:59,379
No jokes before coffee!

25
00:01:22,055 --> 00:01:26,055
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -

26
00:01:29,573 --> 00:01:32,816
So, I've been micro-dosing
mushrooms for anxiety

27
00:01:32,818 --> 00:01:36,486
but my rabbits have gotten
into my special chocolate bars.

28
00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:39,156
Oh, that was faster than I thought.

29
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:41,117
This gentleman's bunnies ate his drugs.

30
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:42,951
They've been acting really aggressive.

31
00:01:45,013 --> 00:01:46,663
They look pretty chill to me.

32
00:01:46,665 --> 00:01:51,359
Yeah, but in a circling the
wagon conspiratorial sort of way.

33
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,947
Look at them. Plotting something evil.

34
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:57,707
Okay. So the rabbits
are handling their high

35
00:01:57,709 --> 00:01:59,006
better than their owner,

36
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:01,655
but sure, we'll take them in
for observation.

37
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,348
Hey hippies!
Sorry, summer of love is over.

38
00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:05,999
Time to sleep it off downtown.

39
00:02:07,703 --> 00:02:09,421
What is happening?

40
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,022
Hey! Ow!

41
00:02:12,024 --> 00:02:14,858
Jeez! My God! Come on! Ow!

42
00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:17,527
Retreat, retreat! Jeez!

43
00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:19,880
I told you, they're in
a very bad headspace.

44
00:02:19,882 --> 00:02:22,532
What the hell did you
put in that chocolate?

45
00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:23,654
I used to be a cop.

46
00:02:23,679 --> 00:02:26,383
I busted international crime rings.
And I'm getting...

47
00:02:26,408 --> 00:02:27,640
- Hey.
- I thought you were brave.

48
00:02:27,665 --> 00:02:29,441
You guys know about this
taco truck up the street?

49
00:02:29,466 --> 00:02:31,783
The breakfast burritos... four stars.

50
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,520
What's up with the first-aid kit?

51
00:02:33,545 --> 00:02:36,360
It's, uh, killer bunnies
on recreational drugs, bro.

52
00:02:36,385 --> 00:02:37,826
Really? What kind?

53
00:02:37,851 --> 00:02:39,641
You know, like, basic,
floppy-eared, fluffy.

54
00:02:39,718 --> 00:02:41,809
No, no, the drugs. What kinds of drugs?

55
00:02:41,811 --> 00:02:44,479
It's like psychedelic mushrooms.

56
00:02:44,556 --> 00:02:46,556
The homeowner makes his own chocolates.

57
00:02:46,558 --> 00:02:48,742
Really? Did he mention
if it was straight

58
00:02:48,744 --> 00:02:50,911
or if it was cut with
purity-tested MDMA?

59
00:02:50,944 --> 00:02:52,039
Did he mention that?

60
00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:53,563
Look, this isn't Bonnaroo.

61
00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:55,749
These rabbits are higher
than my uncle at Thanksgiving

62
00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:57,417
and they're calling the shots.

63
00:02:57,419 --> 00:03:00,737
Everybody relax, okay?
I got a couple rabbits at home.

64
00:03:00,739 --> 00:03:02,014
I speak fluent bunny.

65
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,714
I mean, you might wanna film this.

66
00:03:05,739 --> 00:03:07,739
Could be a valuable teaching tool.

67
00:03:08,096 --> 00:03:10,764
Hey guys. How are you doing?

68
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,935
You know I have two rabbits
at home, Snowball and Batman.

69
00:03:15,011 --> 00:03:17,587
Yeah, we let the kids name them.

70
00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:21,325
And they are just as cute
and adorable...

71
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,927
...as you, uh-huh.

72
00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:26,187
That Phyllis, she's the mama.

73
00:03:26,265 --> 00:03:28,856
Oh, aren't you a little love muffin?

74
00:03:31,861 --> 00:03:33,545
Oh! Get off me, you mangy bitch!

75
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,498
Hey Shred, you're always trying
to be smarter.

76
00:03:35,523 --> 00:03:37,584
Look up "hoisted on one's own petard"

77
00:03:37,662 --> 00:03:39,920
and it will literally be
a picture of this.

78
00:03:39,945 --> 00:03:41,328
Argh!

79
00:03:42,729 --> 00:03:44,336
Uh, should we call for backup?

80
00:03:44,361 --> 00:03:45,367
Bunny backup?

81
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,975
Dude, do you have any idea
of the ridicule

82
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,166
that will come our way?

83
00:03:48,168 --> 00:03:49,860
No. We got this.

84
00:03:51,004 --> 00:03:54,531
Cuddle time is over.

85
00:04:07,946 --> 00:04:11,447
Hey. So, we're gonna need to
collect the medicated chocolate

86
00:04:11,525 --> 00:04:15,376
for our vet so she can calibrate
an overdose treatment.

87
00:04:15,453 --> 00:04:17,620
Right, of course. Anything to help.

88
00:04:17,698 --> 00:04:20,640
And, um, look, I know I shouldn't
be messing around with drugs.

89
00:04:20,642 --> 00:04:23,459
I'm gonna turn over
a new leaf right now.

90
00:04:23,537 --> 00:04:25,829
Yeah. Drugs are bad.

91
00:04:25,854 --> 00:04:27,754
Uh, make sure you get all of them.

92
00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:31,634
You should be ashamed of yourself.

93
00:04:31,712 --> 00:04:33,810
No, I'm not. Not even a little bit.

94
00:04:33,835 --> 00:04:37,491
I suspect his bars
contain psilocybin and 2CB.

95
00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:39,671
That combination is known
to give you orgasms

96
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,842
and make you feel like you've
been launched into outer space.

97
00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:44,739
And rabbits have no business
experiencing pleasure like that.

98
00:04:44,741 --> 00:04:48,030
Okay. Just remember, you promised
to watch the kids this weekend, okay?

99
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,221
And they're very excited,

100
00:04:49,246 --> 00:04:51,153
they picked out a movie
and everything, Freaky Friday.

101
00:04:51,155 --> 00:04:53,664
It's a silly premise but, uh, the
emotion really sneaks up on you.

102
00:04:53,689 --> 00:04:54,771
- Yeah. I...
- It does.

103
00:04:54,796 --> 00:04:56,067
- I will be there.
- Okay.

104
00:04:56,069 --> 00:04:57,396
The chocolates are for tonight.

105
00:04:57,421 --> 00:04:59,201
Do you remember that guy
I met in Costa Rica?

106
00:04:59,226 --> 00:05:00,841
Yeah. The... the yogi or the surfer?

107
00:05:00,866 --> 00:05:03,674
The yogi. So, he's in town,
but he's only free for one night.

108
00:05:03,699 --> 00:05:04,714
Mmhmm.

109
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:07,739
He's really flexible.
Just, like... not with his time.

110
00:05:07,764 --> 00:05:08,838
Right.

111
00:05:08,863 --> 00:05:10,501
Anyway, what are you guys up to
for your big date?

112
00:05:10,526 --> 00:05:12,760
Oh, we're actually gonna go eat
Swedish meatballs at Ikea.

113
00:05:12,785 --> 00:05:13,893
And test out futons.

114
00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:15,826
I know it sounds pathetic
but I'm actually really excited.

115
00:05:15,851 --> 00:05:17,927
Maya and I, we haven't been
alone together in, like, months.

116
00:05:17,952 --> 00:05:19,176
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

117
00:05:19,201 --> 00:05:21,943
Don't be insulted but I'm so
glad I don't have your life.

118
00:05:21,945 --> 00:05:24,763
Well, you're tempting fate
'cause we could end up

119
00:05:24,765 --> 00:05:27,087
accidentally eating
magic fortune cookies

120
00:05:27,112 --> 00:05:28,870
and end up switching places.

121
00:05:29,452 --> 00:05:31,193
Is that what happens in the movie?

122
00:05:31,271 --> 00:05:32,615
I don't wanna ruin it for you.

123
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,455
You just did like... like you
told me the ending.

124
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:36,890
Maybe I didn't though.

125
00:05:37,719 --> 00:05:39,261
- Or maybe I did.
- Huh.

126
00:05:43,450 --> 00:05:45,642
Oh, at least it's donut Wednesday.

127
00:05:49,380 --> 00:05:51,139
What abomination is this?

128
00:05:51,215 --> 00:05:53,549
Who's day is it? I want answers.

129
00:05:53,627 --> 00:05:55,029
I want revenge.

130
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,146
Okay. But is it okay
if I have some jicama?

131
00:05:57,171 --> 00:05:58,313
'Cause I love jicama.

132
00:05:58,389 --> 00:06:00,907
No. I want revenge. Shout it with me.

133
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,603
- Revenge!
- Revenge!

134
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:03,703
Revenge!

135
00:06:03,728 --> 00:06:05,197
You make it sound playful.
Put some fury behind it.

136
00:06:05,222 --> 00:06:06,464
- Revenge!
- Revenge!

137
00:06:06,489 --> 00:06:07,942
- Revenge!
- Revenge!

138
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,208
Revenge!

139
00:06:09,233 --> 00:06:12,502
Shh! I'm on the phone
with my daughter's teacher.

140
00:06:14,238 --> 00:06:16,796
There's been a horrible accident,
I gotta call you back.

141
00:06:16,821 --> 00:06:17,907
Revenge.

142
00:06:17,909 --> 00:06:18,983
- Revenge!
- Revenge!

143
00:06:18,985 --> 00:06:20,168
- Revenge!
- Revenge!

144
00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:21,761
Okay, I proudly take responsibility.

145
00:06:21,838 --> 00:06:24,580
Donut Wednesday, Delores.
It's a sacred tradition.

146
00:06:24,658 --> 00:06:26,920
Handed down to us by the Romans.

147
00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:29,344
You defiled this holy tabernacle
with your cru d'été.

148
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,912
This is our tabernacle, Delores.

149
00:06:31,937 --> 00:06:33,828
Okay. This office has a serious case

150
00:06:33,853 --> 00:06:35,428
of the late morning sugar blues

151
00:06:35,453 --> 00:06:37,295
and someone had to intervene.

152
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,929
How dare you act unilaterally.

153
00:06:39,931 --> 00:06:42,465
It's America. It's donuts.

154
00:06:42,542 --> 00:06:43,623
Shred, throw that away.

155
00:06:43,648 --> 00:06:44,745
- Oh, come on.
- Throw it away.

156
00:06:44,770 --> 00:06:46,906
- It's just a jicama stick.
- Throw it away. Spit it out.

157
00:06:46,931 --> 00:06:48,271
This is very disappointing.

158
00:06:48,296 --> 00:06:51,358
How's my favorite
under-performing precinct doing?

159
00:06:51,383 --> 00:06:53,537
Oh, you sad, sad man.

160
00:06:53,562 --> 00:06:55,977
You drove across town just to
make fun of us for the rabbits.

161
00:06:56,054 --> 00:06:58,307
What rabbits? I didn't
hear anything about rabbits.

162
00:06:58,332 --> 00:07:01,257
Ha! Because there were no rabbits.

163
00:07:01,577 --> 00:07:03,318
Hey Emily. Got your speech ready?

164
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:04,780
Who told you about that?

165
00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:07,230
She's giving the keynote
at the AACL luncheon today.

166
00:07:07,232 --> 00:07:10,325
Whoa. I don't know what
it stands for but congrats.

167
00:07:10,327 --> 00:07:11,568
Why didn't you tell us?

168
00:07:11,645 --> 00:07:13,225
I... I just get a little nervous

169
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,904
so I just wanted to keep it
under the radar.

170
00:07:14,929 --> 00:07:16,141
That's why I'm here.

171
00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:19,351
I spoke last year and,
whoo... stressful.

172
00:07:19,353 --> 00:07:21,411
And I know how much you hate
public speaking, so...

173
00:07:21,488 --> 00:07:25,277
Yeah, but I've been practicing
so I think I'll be good.

174
00:07:25,302 --> 00:07:26,468
Of course.

175
00:07:26,493 --> 00:07:28,102
No worry, it's just a couple
hundred people in the audience.

176
00:07:28,178 --> 00:07:29,252
- And, uh...
- Uh-huh.

177
00:07:29,254 --> 00:07:31,254
They film it and post it
on their website

178
00:07:31,332 --> 00:07:32,803
and it's up there forever.

179
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,942
So, nobody looks at it. Yes, they do.

180
00:07:34,944 --> 00:07:36,944
I watched your speech, Templeton.

181
00:07:36,946 --> 00:07:39,446
- Several times, so funny.
- Big fan.

182
00:07:39,523 --> 00:07:42,341
What kind of truck does a pig drive?

183
00:07:42,343 --> 00:07:43,450
A hambulance.

184
00:07:43,452 --> 00:07:44,601
Ah, that line killed.

185
00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,132
Anyway, uh, happy to step in for you

186
00:07:48,157 --> 00:07:50,917
and I promise you the audience
will not be disappointed.

187
00:07:50,942 --> 00:07:52,200
Thank you so much.

188
00:07:52,202 --> 00:07:54,444
Uh, but shouldn't you be
on patrol or something?

189
00:07:54,521 --> 00:07:55,854
Heading out now.

190
00:07:55,856 --> 00:07:57,873
Oh! What's that?

191
00:07:58,467 --> 00:08:02,719
Looks like I have an email
that is stuck in my outbox.

192
00:08:03,973 --> 00:08:05,973
Boom!

193
00:08:06,049 --> 00:08:07,866
Fixed it. Enjoy.

194
00:08:08,293 --> 00:08:12,312
A gleefully vindictive message
from Officer Templeton Dutch.

195
00:08:12,389 --> 00:08:14,631
That jerk got a hold of
our body-cam footage.

196
00:08:14,633 --> 00:08:16,558
Oh, he did know about the rabbits.

197
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,651
Ugh.

198
00:08:17,676 --> 00:08:18,959
Look at you guys running away

199
00:08:18,984 --> 00:08:20,379
from the li'l rabbits!

200
00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:21,907
We were regrouping!

201
00:08:21,932 --> 00:08:23,373
Are you... are you...
are you kidding me?!

202
00:08:23,398 --> 00:08:25,642
What... what are these, green peppers?!

203
00:08:25,644 --> 00:08:27,815
Okay. I support healthy choices,
Delores,

204
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,523
but it is donut Wednesday.

205
00:08:29,548 --> 00:08:33,442
I am stressed and I need sugar
so you need to fix this.

206
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,560
Revenge!

207
00:08:35,562 --> 00:08:36,920
Revenge!

208
00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:43,068
Hey. Hey.

209
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:44,912
Try not to let Templeton
get in your head.

210
00:08:44,937 --> 00:08:48,331
Oh yeah, uh, too late.
Uh, he is... he is in there.

211
00:08:48,409 --> 00:08:49,660
Okay, listen.

212
00:08:49,685 --> 00:08:52,397
I used to get really nervous
before big competitions.

213
00:08:52,422 --> 00:08:53,664
Like, it got bad.

214
00:08:53,689 --> 00:08:56,404
So I remember my coach hooked me
up with this sports psychologist

215
00:08:56,429 --> 00:08:58,341
who gave me some cool
relaxation techniques.

216
00:08:58,419 --> 00:09:00,027
If you wanna try.

217
00:09:00,029 --> 00:09:01,177
Okay.

218
00:09:01,202 --> 00:09:02,443
- Yeah?
- Yeah, okay.

219
00:09:02,468 --> 00:09:04,326
'Cause my heart is um...
really pounding.

220
00:09:04,351 --> 00:09:06,326
Okay. Um, so, close your eyes.

221
00:09:06,429 --> 00:09:07,445
Yeah.

222
00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:11,138
Take a deep breath and imagine
yourself on a mountain.

223
00:09:11,523 --> 00:09:14,756
Now, you're about to start a race
against this big-ass Swiss dude.

224
00:09:14,781 --> 00:09:16,859
Wait. No. Sorry.

225
00:09:16,861 --> 00:09:19,213
Visualize yourself giving the speech.

226
00:09:19,289 --> 00:09:23,366
Confident, calm, looking
super fly in your business suit

227
00:09:23,368 --> 00:09:25,944
and the crowd is loving it.

228
00:09:26,257 --> 00:09:31,058
They're chanting your name.
Emily! Emily! Emily!

229
00:09:31,134 --> 00:09:33,330
Well, it's a professional conference

230
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,873
so there's not really
a whole lot of chanting.

231
00:09:35,898 --> 00:09:36,949
No chanting?

232
00:09:36,974 --> 00:09:39,140
- No.
- That's too bad.

233
00:09:39,142 --> 00:09:43,553
Okay. Then just visualize yourself
absolutely crushing the speech.

234
00:09:43,630 --> 00:09:44,738
Okay.

235
00:09:46,483 --> 00:09:47,991
How's your heart rate?

236
00:09:50,412 --> 00:09:53,413
It is actually better.

237
00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:56,328
You're gonna medal for sure.

238
00:09:59,588 --> 00:10:01,997
Oh, um... remind me.

239
00:10:01,999 --> 00:10:05,074
In my outfit you said I looked, um...

240
00:10:05,099 --> 00:10:06,125
Super fly.

241
00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:08,217
Super fly. Right, okay.

242
00:10:16,087 --> 00:10:18,818
Okay. Only one big question left.

243
00:10:18,843 --> 00:10:22,776
Who's going to step up
and be my emergency contact?

244
00:10:22,853 --> 00:10:24,669
Don't you have family you can ask?

245
00:10:24,671 --> 00:10:26,947
My dad died and my mom moved to Florida.

246
00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:29,341
But she's got a sweet condo on the beach

247
00:10:29,343 --> 00:10:32,436
and she says any time I wanna
bring down my emergency contact

248
00:10:32,461 --> 00:10:34,778
for a little sand and sea,
she has a room waiting.

249
00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:37,222
Oh. Well, I hope you and that
guy without boundaries

250
00:10:37,299 --> 00:10:38,949
have fun with your mom.

251
00:10:38,951 --> 00:10:41,968
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

252
00:10:42,045 --> 00:10:45,546
Guys, who ate one of my chocolate bars?

253
00:10:45,624 --> 00:10:47,307
There were three and now there's two.

254
00:10:47,309 --> 00:10:49,142
And they were hidden way at the back

255
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:50,614
with my frickin' name on it.

256
00:10:50,639 --> 00:10:52,530
If your name's on it, that's sacrosanct.

257
00:10:52,555 --> 00:10:53,739
You can look that word up, Shred.

258
00:10:53,741 --> 00:10:54,883
Sacrosanct...

259
00:10:54,908 --> 00:10:56,575
Although I did eat Patel's
ice cream bar.

260
00:10:56,651 --> 00:10:59,911
What? I was saving that
for my end of the week treat!

261
00:10:59,988 --> 00:11:02,966
Oh, you were intolerable yesterday.
It demanded a response.

262
00:11:02,991 --> 00:11:05,642
Why? Because I said the Mariners
don't have a shot this year?

263
00:11:05,644 --> 00:11:07,621
Say it again and you can kiss
your tuna sandwich goodbye.

264
00:11:07,646 --> 00:11:08,795
The Mariners don't have
a shot this year.

265
00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:10,330
Oh, that tuna sandwich is gonna taste...

266
00:11:10,355 --> 00:11:12,832
The Mariners don't have a shot.
The Mariners don't have a shot...

267
00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:15,835
Okay, I think we're done here.
I need to know who ate my chocolate bar.

268
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,631
Shred, check the waste baskets now.

269
00:11:17,656 --> 00:11:20,100
Thanks. Great.
Uh, those chocolate bars were laced

270
00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:21,933
with high-grade hallucinogenics.

271
00:11:21,935 --> 00:11:23,510
Have you seen double rainbow?

272
00:11:23,586 --> 00:11:25,604
Someone's about to be 10 times
more like that guy

273
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:26,754
than that guy was.

274
00:11:26,779 --> 00:11:29,012
Hey. Did Emily make it back?

275
00:11:30,352 --> 00:11:31,518
Uh... I'm not sure.

276
00:11:31,594 --> 00:11:34,815
I was gonna give her a ride
but she ran off after her presentation.

277
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,091
Um... can this wait?

278
00:11:36,116 --> 00:11:38,450
It's just, we're in the middle
of a bit of a crisis.

279
00:11:38,475 --> 00:11:41,292
It's just weird because
her speech went so well.

280
00:11:41,346 --> 00:11:43,847
She was funny, talking off the cuff...

281
00:11:43,865 --> 00:11:46,533
she even sang at one point.

282
00:11:46,609 --> 00:11:48,201
Oh God.

283
00:11:48,278 --> 00:11:49,911
Emily ate the chocolate.

284
00:11:49,936 --> 00:11:50,985
All of it?

285
00:11:51,039 --> 00:11:53,015
It looks that way, yeah.

286
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:54,312
Code red.

287
00:11:54,337 --> 00:11:55,944
My thin mints are missing,
gone without a trace.

288
00:11:55,969 --> 00:11:57,210
She's binging.

289
00:11:57,287 --> 00:11:59,029
Actually, I threw the cookies out.

290
00:11:59,031 --> 00:12:00,449
You'll thank me later.

291
00:12:00,474 --> 00:12:03,457
Actually, I will not thank you.
I will not thank you, Delores!

292
00:12:03,535 --> 00:12:07,387
I want my own refrigerator. 'Kay?

293
00:12:07,463 --> 00:12:09,481
Delores, I want my own refrigerator!

294
00:12:13,061 --> 00:12:14,711
So, who's your emergency contact?

295
00:12:14,713 --> 00:12:15,803
My father.

296
00:12:15,828 --> 00:12:17,881
Aww, I didn't know you were
close with your dad.

297
00:12:17,906 --> 00:12:19,473
We're not. I hate that son of a bitch.

298
00:12:19,551 --> 00:12:20,884
Then why did you choose him?

299
00:12:20,886 --> 00:12:22,977
Well, if something happens
to me, he's on the hook.

300
00:12:23,002 --> 00:12:26,832
With any luck, I'll be a
vegetable requiring 24-hour care.

301
00:12:26,834 --> 00:12:29,742
That makes me sad, bro.
My dad was my best friend.

302
00:12:29,767 --> 00:12:31,054
Yeah, of course he was.

303
00:12:31,079 --> 00:12:34,172
My only regret is I never got to
tell him how much he meant to me.

304
00:12:34,249 --> 00:12:36,623
I mean, he probably knew because
I told him I loved him every day.

305
00:12:36,677 --> 00:12:38,112
Except when my phone died,

306
00:12:38,137 --> 00:12:39,896
which happened a lot when I was
competing in Europe

307
00:12:39,921 --> 00:12:42,238
'cause I didn't have the right plugs.

308
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,832
Point is... don't leave things unsaid.

309
00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:46,393
Call your dad.

310
00:12:48,338 --> 00:12:51,672
You know, they make those three-in-one
adapters. They have for years.

311
00:12:51,674 --> 00:12:52,953
Really?

312
00:12:54,419 --> 00:12:55,861
Now I have two regrets.

313
00:12:55,937 --> 00:12:58,605
Truck 12. Pet python
escaped its enclosure.

314
00:12:58,681 --> 00:13:00,514
7276 South Kenwood.

315
00:13:00,592 --> 00:13:02,942
And get this. It's JT Wallace's house.

316
00:13:03,019 --> 00:13:04,928
Holy crap. JT Wallace.

317
00:13:04,930 --> 00:13:06,096
Oh, who's that?

318
00:13:06,098 --> 00:13:09,541
Are you serious?
The wide receiver for the Seahawks?

319
00:13:09,618 --> 00:13:12,360
In what world could I have been
your emergency contact?

320
00:13:12,385 --> 00:13:13,545
Get out.

321
00:13:13,570 --> 00:13:15,005
What, really? We're doing this again?

322
00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,738
I'm not... I can't even look at you.

323
00:13:22,038 --> 00:13:23,513
Don't look at me!

324
00:13:26,086 --> 00:13:27,944
How the hell are we gonna find her?

325
00:13:27,969 --> 00:13:30,706
I don't know. It's just like
looking for someone's lost mutt.

326
00:13:30,731 --> 00:13:34,290
Oh, so we put out some beef
strips and stand behind a bush?

327
00:13:34,292 --> 00:13:35,763
I know you're kidding
but do you have beef strips?

328
00:13:35,788 --> 00:13:37,787
Everything I was gonna eat today
got senselessly ripped away from me.

329
00:13:37,812 --> 00:13:40,405
No. I don't eat gassy foods on sex days.

330
00:13:40,482 --> 00:13:41,907
Ooh, how's it going
with the yogi by the way?

331
00:13:41,932 --> 00:13:43,006
Do you like him?

332
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,338
As a person?

333
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,244
He's done so much healing

334
00:13:46,321 --> 00:13:48,229
he's healed himself right out of
an actual personality.

335
00:13:48,306 --> 00:13:50,731
But in bed, and I say this as someone

336
00:13:50,809 --> 00:13:53,084
with a sufficiently large sample pool,

337
00:13:53,086 --> 00:13:54,753
- Mmmhmm.
- Uh, he's detail-oriented.

338
00:13:54,755 --> 00:13:56,312
Hmm.

339
00:13:56,314 --> 00:13:57,756
I used to be detail-oriented.

340
00:13:57,832 --> 00:14:00,241
That was before I was tired
all the time.

341
00:14:00,318 --> 00:14:03,486
Maybe you should try some of this.

342
00:14:03,488 --> 00:14:04,515
- No.
- I'll give you a little.

343
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:05,556
No. I can't eat that.

344
00:14:05,581 --> 00:14:08,491
Yes, you can. Give it a shot.
It makes everything feel amazing

345
00:14:08,493 --> 00:14:09,937
and you're not really doing
anything different.

346
00:14:09,962 --> 00:14:11,312
It's almost like cheating.

347
00:14:11,496 --> 00:14:12,975
My life's not built for that.

348
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,440
Every night I'm taking a kid to the ER.

349
00:14:15,517 --> 00:14:17,500
Or talking another one down
from a nightmare.

350
00:14:17,502 --> 00:14:19,427
Last night it was global warming.

351
00:14:19,429 --> 00:14:22,096
I can't discuss polar ice caps
all high and horny.

352
00:14:22,174 --> 00:14:24,449
Oh, my God. Is that Emily?

353
00:14:26,511 --> 00:14:31,429
Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily!

354
00:14:38,023 --> 00:14:39,506
Even Seahawk colors.

355
00:14:42,452 --> 00:14:43,693
Sheesh. You almost beat me.

356
00:14:43,695 --> 00:14:45,637
Yeah. Asher knows all the shortcuts.

357
00:14:45,639 --> 00:14:48,364
Hey, good luck
with your girlfriend, buddy.

358
00:14:48,366 --> 00:14:50,233
I sincerely hope everything works out.

359
00:14:50,258 --> 00:14:52,375
Thank God you're here. Hurry!

360
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,414
He was cleaning the cage.

361
00:14:56,943 --> 00:14:58,535
Holy crap.

362
00:14:58,560 --> 00:14:59,651
It's huge.

363
00:14:59,676 --> 00:15:01,342
Frank, have you ever dealt with
something like this before?

364
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,967
No. And I can't tell you how much,

365
00:15:02,992 --> 00:15:04,638
but something that's not nothing
just slipped out of me

366
00:15:04,716 --> 00:15:05,882
and into my underwear.

367
00:15:05,884 --> 00:15:07,475
It's getting tighter.

368
00:15:07,552 --> 00:15:09,477
Just remain calm, we're gonna
unwind it from you.

369
00:15:09,479 --> 00:15:11,123
Shred, grab the head.

370
00:15:11,148 --> 00:15:13,314
I'm not grabbing the head, man.
It's scary and gross.

371
00:15:13,316 --> 00:15:15,149
The Seahawks have a very shallow
depth chart,

372
00:15:15,174 --> 00:15:17,007
- now grab the head.
- I'm not touching that thing.

373
00:15:17,032 --> 00:15:19,039
I was led to believe
this job was mostly dogs.

374
00:15:19,064 --> 00:15:20,315
Help him!

375
00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:22,749
This thing is super strong.
Grab something, Shred.

376
00:15:22,825 --> 00:15:24,417
Okay. But I'm closing my eyes.

377
00:15:24,494 --> 00:15:26,660
Is this a bad time to tell you
that I'm a big fan?

378
00:15:26,662 --> 00:15:27,737
Yes.

379
00:15:27,739 --> 00:15:29,572
Okay. Well, it would just seem phony

380
00:15:29,597 --> 00:15:31,310
if I didn't say anything, right?

381
00:15:31,335 --> 00:15:32,851
Listen, man, you get this thing off me,

382
00:15:32,853 --> 00:15:33,903
I'll sign anything you want.

383
00:15:33,928 --> 00:15:35,520
Really? How about a football?

384
00:15:35,545 --> 00:15:36,639
- Yes.
- How about a jersey?

385
00:15:36,664 --> 00:15:37,718
- Yes.
- A helmet?

386
00:15:37,743 --> 00:15:38,834
Yes.

387
00:15:38,917 --> 00:15:40,416
What about one of those
breast cancer awareness hats...

388
00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:41,934
- Anything!
- That are collectible.

389
00:15:44,364 --> 00:15:46,573
Yeah. I thought I was gonna die.

390
00:15:48,201 --> 00:15:50,276
Okay, yeah, yeah...

391
00:15:50,353 --> 00:15:53,521
Oh, my God. It's on me now.

392
00:15:53,598 --> 00:15:57,375
If I don't make it... beat the Rams.

393
00:15:59,656 --> 00:16:00,861
Oh, my god.

394
00:16:00,886 --> 00:16:03,600
Emily! Hey! How's it going, girl?

395
00:16:03,625 --> 00:16:05,383
Oh, man. You are really good out there.

396
00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:06,609
What'd you play in high school?

397
00:16:06,611 --> 00:16:08,536
- Yeah.
- What are you guys doing here?

398
00:16:08,613 --> 00:16:09,779
Uh, we, we just, uh...

399
00:16:09,781 --> 00:16:11,798
we just came to take you back
to the office.

400
00:16:11,823 --> 00:16:12,942
To the office.

401
00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:17,453
Oh. No. I'm not going back.

402
00:16:17,455 --> 00:16:19,972
Yeah. I'm... I'm never going back.

403
00:16:20,049 --> 00:16:21,566
Bye!

404
00:16:21,568 --> 00:16:23,234
Oh, I hate running.

405
00:16:23,311 --> 00:16:25,478
- Emily! Emily!
- Emily!

406
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,697
My god, she's out of control.

407
00:16:26,722 --> 00:16:28,239
Hello! Emily! Slow down! Stop guys!

408
00:16:28,274 --> 00:16:29,362
Guys, guys, stop her!

409
00:16:29,387 --> 00:16:31,035
Whoo! My whole body's buzzing.

410
00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:32,652
I've never felt more alive!

411
00:16:32,728 --> 00:16:34,637
Dude, that snake had plans for you.

412
00:16:34,639 --> 00:16:38,232
A brush with death and an
encounter with a world-class athlete.

413
00:16:38,310 --> 00:16:40,706
Okay. That's obviously
a little bit hurtful.

414
00:16:40,731 --> 00:16:43,957
I came in 7th at Pyeongchang
but I know it's a niche sport.

415
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:46,977
Listen, don't get needy but
you were pretty good back there.

416
00:16:46,979 --> 00:16:48,760
- Really?
- You're already being needy.

417
00:16:48,785 --> 00:16:51,108
I won't say another word.
Except that after this,

418
00:16:51,133 --> 00:16:53,984
I can't imagine being in battle
with anyone else.

419
00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:55,577
Snake brothers forever!

420
00:16:55,602 --> 00:16:57,402
Oh, 100 percent did this to myself.

421
00:16:58,474 --> 00:16:59,901
- Again?
- Give me those forms.

422
00:16:59,926 --> 00:17:02,159
- What? What did I do?
- Give me those forms.

423
00:17:02,235 --> 00:17:04,753
- You'll be my emergency contact?
- Give them to me.

424
00:17:04,830 --> 00:17:08,331
Don't get hurt 'cause I'm
pulling the plug for anything.

425
00:17:08,356 --> 00:17:09,623
Ooooh!

426
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,220
Alright!

427
00:17:12,245 --> 00:17:13,929
- Whoo!
- Whoo!

428
00:17:13,954 --> 00:17:16,800
I'm finally coming out of my cocoon!

429
00:17:16,825 --> 00:17:18,100
You're high on drugs!

430
00:17:18,177 --> 00:17:20,184
No, I'm high on life!

431
00:17:20,209 --> 00:17:23,140
Life can't do that,
that's why we have drugs.

432
00:17:23,165 --> 00:17:24,255
- Ah!
- Yes!

433
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:25,849
No, No.

434
00:17:25,874 --> 00:17:27,543
Oh, here we go.

435
00:17:29,728 --> 00:17:33,840
I mean, I went to Vienna once
but I mostly just stayed in the hotel.

436
00:17:33,842 --> 00:17:35,784
Like, what was I afraid of?

437
00:17:35,861 --> 00:17:38,787
Mmhmm. I can't do this anymore.

438
00:17:38,864 --> 00:17:41,290
I am afraid of so many things.

439
00:17:41,366 --> 00:17:43,080
- What does that mean?
- You can go.

440
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,370
This is my fault anyway and I've
done this, like, a hundred times.

441
00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:49,298
Listen, if you need anything,
anything at all,

442
00:17:49,374 --> 00:17:50,799
just don't call me.

443
00:17:51,694 --> 00:17:52,823
Bye Emily.

444
00:17:52,848 --> 00:17:56,120
Oh, bye-whoa, you have gorgeous teeth.

445
00:17:56,122 --> 00:17:59,700
Thank you. Okay.

446
00:17:59,934 --> 00:18:04,871
Wait. Did you know I can name
every country in South America?

447
00:18:04,896 --> 00:18:05,918
No, I didn't.

448
00:18:05,943 --> 00:18:08,702
- Okay. Um, I can.
- Okay.

449
00:18:08,727 --> 00:18:09,967
- Venezuela.
- Yeah.

450
00:18:09,992 --> 00:18:11,343
- Ecuador.
- I deserve this.

451
00:18:11,368 --> 00:18:13,023
Colombia, Paraguay.

452
00:18:18,554 --> 00:18:20,496
Oh, look what the cat dragged in.

453
00:18:20,572 --> 00:18:22,814
It's nice to see you too, Dad.

454
00:18:22,891 --> 00:18:26,409
Look, um... I had a near-death
experience today

455
00:18:26,486 --> 00:18:31,155
and, I don't know, I don't wanna
die with things left unsaid.

456
00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:32,899
I'm listening.

457
00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:36,096
Anyway, I just wanted you to know
that you're a terrible father

458
00:18:36,121 --> 00:18:39,840
who never had my back and
I want you to rot in hell.

459
00:18:43,746 --> 00:18:47,080
So that's it. Those are the two items.

460
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:51,175
Well look, uh... you came this far,
at least come in and have a beer.

461
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,487
Did you just hear what I said?

462
00:18:52,512 --> 00:18:56,106
Yeah. Bad father and, uh...
the rotting thing.

463
00:18:56,182 --> 00:18:57,783
You want a beer or not?

464
00:18:58,683 --> 00:18:59,924
What kind you got?

465
00:18:59,949 --> 00:19:03,208
Rainier. I've been drinking
the same beer since I was 12.

466
00:19:03,932 --> 00:19:05,766
You too good for Rainier now?

467
00:19:05,768 --> 00:19:08,210
I've always been too good for Rainier.

468
00:19:08,287 --> 00:19:09,694
What are you, like, 100 now?

469
00:19:10,439 --> 00:19:13,364
French Guyana. Regular Guyana. Chile.

470
00:19:14,649 --> 00:19:16,534
- Argentina.
- Hang on, I have to get that.

471
00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:17,604
Wait. No, please don't leave me.

472
00:19:17,629 --> 00:19:19,871
No, you'll be fine. You'll be fine.
Eat your cereal.

473
00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:21,696
Sorry, I don't have any milk.
I know it's dry.

474
00:19:22,785 --> 00:19:23,842
Hi.

475
00:19:23,867 --> 00:19:25,095
I'm so happy to see you.

476
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,453
Yeah, you too.

477
00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:29,616
As a tantric exercise I've
abstained from sex for three months.

478
00:19:29,641 --> 00:19:32,809
I intend to focus all that
stored-up energy on you.

479
00:19:32,886 --> 00:19:35,645
Suriname! I forgot Suriname.

480
00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:36,957
- Uh...
- Who's that?

481
00:19:36,982 --> 00:19:39,966
Is she going to participate
or... just watch?

482
00:19:39,968 --> 00:19:41,635
No. There was an office fridge mix up

483
00:19:41,637 --> 00:19:43,637
and now she's in another dimension.

484
00:19:43,639 --> 00:19:46,489
Uh... I'm gonna have to stay
here and take care of her.

485
00:19:46,566 --> 00:19:50,586
But when she comes down
I could text you.

486
00:19:50,662 --> 00:19:52,829
Three months is a really long time

487
00:19:52,906 --> 00:19:55,665
and I have a few other friends
in Seattle.

488
00:19:55,818 --> 00:19:57,426
But I'll be back in August.

489
00:19:58,095 --> 00:19:59,243
Bye Victoria.

490
00:19:59,245 --> 00:20:00,887
'Kay. Bye. Cool.

491
00:20:02,582 --> 00:20:05,225
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah. Of course.

492
00:20:06,231 --> 00:20:10,772
I only got my job because of
connections in the mayor's office, so...

493
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:13,956
I don't deserve it, I'm a fraud.

494
00:20:13,981 --> 00:20:15,685
That's not true.
That's the drugs talking.

495
00:20:15,762 --> 00:20:17,687
Everyone thinks you're great.

496
00:20:17,764 --> 00:20:20,949
- Really?
- Yeah. You're great.

497
00:20:20,974 --> 00:20:22,169
You're my best friend.

498
00:20:22,194 --> 00:20:25,120
Oh, okay. That's... that's really nice.

499
00:20:26,217 --> 00:20:27,582
Hang on.

500
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,654
- Hello?
- Oh, you were right.

501
00:20:29,679 --> 00:20:31,920
These chocolates are a game-changer.

502
00:20:31,945 --> 00:20:33,870
Maya called her mom,
she picked up the kids,

503
00:20:33,872 --> 00:20:35,872
we got the whole night to ourselves.

504
00:20:35,874 --> 00:20:39,042
Wait. Are you seriously
calling me post sex?

505
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,153
Yeah, post. Pre. Pre-pre.

506
00:20:41,155 --> 00:20:42,192
You never know.

507
00:20:42,217 --> 00:20:44,156
Oh, Victoria, you're gonna need
to hold me.

508
00:20:44,181 --> 00:20:46,248
I'm starting to panic
about climate change.

509
00:20:47,369 --> 00:20:50,720
Oh, my God. We ate the fortune cookies.

510
00:20:50,797 --> 00:20:53,373
Oh, and they were mighty delicious.

511
00:20:53,392 --> 00:20:55,150
Freaky Friday baby!

512
00:20:56,071 --> 00:20:58,350
- ? Always count on me ?
- Oh boy.

513
00:20:58,375 --> 00:20:59,684
Hello Mister Mayor.

514
00:20:59,709 --> 00:21:03,302
? Keep turning, oh, keep smiling, ?

515
00:21:03,643 --> 00:21:06,778
? Knowing you can always count on me ?

516
00:21:06,803 --> 00:21:08,377
? Everybody! For sure! ?

517
00:21:08,402 --> 00:21:10,419
Oh, I'm going really,
really wide with this.

518
00:21:10,444 --> 00:21:12,427
? That's what friends are for ?

519
00:21:12,452 --> 00:21:14,061
Adopt these dogs!

520
00:21:14,086 --> 00:21:17,686
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- www.addic7ed.com -