1
00:00:05,508 --> 00:00:07,865
If you're gonna make me
pick you up, I expect coffee.

2
00:00:07,890 --> 00:00:10,101
There'll be one waiting
for you tomorrow.

3
00:00:10,179 --> 00:00:11,345
Any other requests?

4
00:00:11,347 --> 00:00:13,390
Yeah. Get your car fixed.

5
00:00:13,791 --> 00:00:16,274
I'm gonna win you over, bro.
It's gonna happen.

6
00:00:16,352 --> 00:00:19,536
Calling me "bro" shows the depth
of your miscalculation.

7
00:00:19,751 --> 00:00:21,084
Truck 12.

8
00:00:21,109 --> 00:00:24,205
Report of a small animal in
the attic at 187 South Kenzie.

9
00:00:24,230 --> 00:00:25,613
Truck 12 responding.

10
00:00:29,198 --> 00:00:31,435
Four play dates, a Spiderman
birthday party,

11
00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:33,451
two trips to urgent care...
and my parents are in town.

12
00:00:33,476 --> 00:00:35,052
Let's just go ahead and say
that they have opinions.

13
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:36,155
How was your weekend?

14
00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:37,401
- Yeah, pretty good.
- Mmhmm.

15
00:00:37,426 --> 00:00:39,684
I went to a club.
There were definitely drugs.

16
00:00:39,709 --> 00:00:42,392
I woke up naked on some boat
near Whitby Island.

17
00:00:42,469 --> 00:00:43,969
What about the other people on the boat?

18
00:00:43,971 --> 00:00:45,379
Also naked, yeah.

19
00:00:45,381 --> 00:00:46,799
Right.

20
00:00:46,824 --> 00:00:50,400
Look, it's not personal.
I'm just a lone wolf type of guy.

21
00:00:50,402 --> 00:00:54,388
All last year I had no partner
and it was... heaven.

22
00:00:54,390 --> 00:00:57,649
And this is so much worse.

23
00:00:57,727 --> 00:01:00,101
So, I guess it is personal.

24
00:01:01,247 --> 00:01:02,412
- Hey.
- Mmhmm.

25
00:01:02,414 --> 00:01:04,732
I'm thinking of getting a puppy.

26
00:01:04,734 --> 00:01:06,416
Look at her, Little Mabel.

27
00:01:06,418 --> 00:01:08,418
Why would you do that?
You have all the freedom in the world.

28
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,800
Yeah, but I envy you sometimes.
I live alone.

29
00:01:10,825 --> 00:01:12,178
It might be nice to have a dog around.

30
00:01:12,203 --> 00:01:13,621
Well, I have two.
You could just have one.

31
00:01:13,646 --> 00:01:15,482
One of them's incontinent for that extra

32
00:01:15,507 --> 00:01:17,473
feeling of agonizing responsibility.

33
00:01:17,498 --> 00:01:19,065
If that's what you're looking for.

34
00:01:19,415 --> 00:01:21,373
Maybe I'll just get a bird.

35
00:01:21,398 --> 00:01:23,192
Get a bird. Get a bird.

36
00:01:23,269 --> 00:01:25,961
Alright. You wait here.

37
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,829
There's a good coffee place
up the block.

38
00:01:29,663 --> 00:01:30,828
Rookie always pays.

39
00:01:30,853 --> 00:01:35,422
Oh. Yeah. Hazing recognized
and accepted.

40
00:01:37,278 --> 00:01:39,273
So I'll take a cara...

41
00:01:44,117 --> 00:01:45,651
What's up?

42
00:01:45,676 --> 00:01:46,767
Are you coming in?

43
00:01:46,792 --> 00:01:49,804
Oh yeah, for sure. It's just...
just gonna be one minute.

44
00:01:49,829 --> 00:01:51,179
I think my partner will be right back.

45
00:01:51,204 --> 00:01:52,446
I don't have a minute.

46
00:01:52,471 --> 00:01:54,472
It's my 10th anniversary and
I surprised my wife with brunch

47
00:01:54,497 --> 00:01:55,717
and whatever's up there
is killing the mood.

48
00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:56,784
Whew!

49
00:01:56,786 --> 00:01:59,436
Listen, man. It's my first week.

50
00:01:59,461 --> 00:02:01,651
I should really wait for backup.
You know what I mean?

51
00:02:01,676 --> 00:02:04,244
Come on. My wife's libido
is very delicate.

52
00:02:04,730 --> 00:02:06,081
Help a guy out.

53
00:02:08,585 --> 00:02:11,402
Yeah, so my name's Fred
but everyone calls me Shred

54
00:02:11,404 --> 00:02:13,588
'cause I used to be a
professional snowboarder,

55
00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:16,740
mostly half-pipe,
a couple silvers at Nationals.

56
00:02:16,818 --> 00:02:18,068
And then I tore my ACL.

57
00:02:18,093 --> 00:02:19,615
How long is this gonna take?

58
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,955
Not long at all.

59
00:02:21,323 --> 00:02:22,795
If I had to guess...

60
00:02:22,820 --> 00:02:24,991
it's probably just a sweet
little guy who...

61
00:02:28,798 --> 00:02:31,209
My eye! Your walkie went into my eye!

62
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,143
I'm sorry, it's just...

63
00:02:33,168 --> 00:02:36,539
The teeth, it's like a tiny...
furry vampire.

64
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:37,664
I underestimated...

65
00:02:42,046 --> 00:02:43,653
Under... under the ottoman.

66
00:02:43,678 --> 00:02:46,012
Okay. Everyone stay calm.

67
00:02:46,014 --> 00:02:47,104
I got this.

68
00:02:47,532 --> 00:02:50,683
It's okay weasel... or whatever you are.

69
00:02:50,685 --> 00:02:53,611
We're gonna take you to
the coolest park in the city

70
00:02:53,613 --> 00:02:56,614
and these people are gonna celebrate.

71
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,242
Dude! Dude!

72
00:02:59,302 --> 00:03:00,543
Bad choice.

73
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,203
What do we do?

74
00:03:04,828 --> 00:03:06,641
Oh, little buddy.

75
00:03:08,218 --> 00:03:09,602
I got this.

76
00:03:10,414 --> 00:03:11,514
- Oh!
- Oh!

77
00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:12,630
Oh, come on!

78
00:03:13,650 --> 00:03:16,317
Go, go! Right here!

79
00:03:18,655 --> 00:03:19,970
We're not catching a break here.

80
00:03:19,972 --> 00:03:23,232
Ohhhh! It's under the stuffed couch!

81
00:03:23,234 --> 00:03:24,492
You gotta be kidding me.

82
00:03:24,517 --> 00:03:28,054
Okay. Don't worry. I got this. I got it.

83
00:03:44,681 --> 00:03:48,057
On a scale of 1 to 10,
how would you rate our service today?

84
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:16,219
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -

85
00:04:22,104 --> 00:04:23,771
I made muffins.

86
00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:25,126
Uh-oh. You want something.

87
00:04:25,151 --> 00:04:27,410
What? No. Do you guys think I do that?

88
00:04:27,486 --> 00:04:28,819
Like I only bake when I want something?

89
00:04:28,896 --> 00:04:30,971
Aw, these muffs are
fresh out of the oven.

90
00:04:30,973 --> 00:04:32,581
This is gonna be horrible.

91
00:04:32,658 --> 00:04:33,991
No!

92
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:36,419
Yeah, I feel bad but I need volunteers

93
00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,444
to clean the kennels this weekend.

94
00:04:38,549 --> 00:04:40,791
There are nine dogs at Giardia.

95
00:04:40,816 --> 00:04:42,119
Whoever does it's gonna need
one of those counselors

96
00:04:42,144 --> 00:04:43,470
they send to mass shooting scenes.

97
00:04:43,495 --> 00:04:45,152
I nominate Frank
given the weasel debacle.

98
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:46,572
He's the senior officer.

99
00:04:46,597 --> 00:04:49,432
Yeah. Frank, I just got an
earful from the superintendent.

100
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,801
I was getting coffee.

101
00:04:50,826 --> 00:04:52,676
I'm guilty of negligence,
not incompetence.

102
00:04:52,678 --> 00:04:53,962
It's a lower crime.

103
00:04:53,987 --> 00:04:55,441
Came to gloat about the weasel barbecue.

104
00:04:56,642 --> 00:04:58,233
You're here to enjoy my misfortune,

105
00:04:58,258 --> 00:04:59,516
which is a taunt, not a gloat.

106
00:04:59,593 --> 00:05:02,028
Always an education
when you talk to Frank.

107
00:05:02,053 --> 00:05:04,021
You're a rube. Do you know what that is?

108
00:05:04,097 --> 00:05:06,431
Rumor is, couple filed a complaint

109
00:05:06,509 --> 00:05:08,088
that'll require damage control.

110
00:05:08,113 --> 00:05:11,011
I'm offering my services, Emily,
'cause I know you get

111
00:05:11,013 --> 00:05:14,531
a little nervous and sweaty
in high-stress situations.

112
00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:18,294
Uh, no, no. I have everything
under control, Templeton.

113
00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:21,522
Well, when you don't,
I'll come back to gloat.

114
00:05:21,524 --> 00:05:22,798
Did I get that right, Frank?

115
00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,115
No, that was a threat.

116
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:26,543
Ah... whatever. Word nerd.

117
00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:29,029
Okay. I'm gonna go change into a shirt

118
00:05:29,031 --> 00:05:31,307
that's dark enough to hide
my nervous pit stains.

119
00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:33,884
And right away I'm gonna
go ahead and apologize

120
00:05:33,961 --> 00:05:35,869
for sharing that information.

121
00:05:37,005 --> 00:05:38,723
Muffins... are over here.

122
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,330
Why's that guy so mean to Emily?

123
00:05:41,355 --> 00:05:43,819
He works at a rival precinct,
and he's gunning for her job.

124
00:05:43,896 --> 00:05:46,380
Yeah, she's not really suited
to a leadership position,

125
00:05:46,382 --> 00:05:47,944
but we have to make sure
she doesn't get fired

126
00:05:47,969 --> 00:05:49,307
'cause she's really nice.

127
00:05:49,332 --> 00:05:50,826
And she's easy to manipulate
which is why we're

128
00:05:50,956 --> 00:05:54,198
the only precinct with a
top-of-the-line Panini Press.

129
00:05:55,816 --> 00:05:57,500
Mmm. Spectacular.

130
00:05:57,576 --> 00:05:59,743
We got written up in Bon Appetit.

131
00:05:59,745 --> 00:06:01,411
Okay, here's a novel idea.

132
00:06:01,488 --> 00:06:03,747
Try standing closer to the
toilet and actually aiming

133
00:06:03,749 --> 00:06:06,083
so the pee goes in the bowl
and not on the floor.

134
00:06:06,085 --> 00:06:07,510
That's a terrible idea for a novel.

135
00:06:08,662 --> 00:06:10,754
I will be instituting a key system.

136
00:06:10,831 --> 00:06:12,573
So if you have to pee, you come see Dee,

137
00:06:12,575 --> 00:06:14,074
there'll be a sign-in sheet on my desk.

138
00:06:14,352 --> 00:06:15,684
Not gonna do that.

139
00:06:15,686 --> 00:06:17,578
Frank! Frank!

140
00:06:17,580 --> 00:06:18,664
Frank!

141
00:06:18,689 --> 00:06:20,356
Listen, I'll talk to Emily
and take the heat

142
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,785
for the weasel thing.

143
00:06:21,810 --> 00:06:23,613
Okay? I'll clean the kennels,
it's only right.

144
00:06:23,638 --> 00:06:24,745
That would be stupid of you.

145
00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:26,373
It's what partners do, right?

146
00:06:26,398 --> 00:06:29,066
Look, I'm gonna be up front.
My plan is to get rid of you.

147
00:06:29,091 --> 00:06:30,591
And with the way bureaucracy works,

148
00:06:30,593 --> 00:06:32,368
it'll take about six months
to fill your seat.

149
00:06:32,444 --> 00:06:35,353
So that's gonna be all lone wolfy time.

150
00:06:38,559 --> 00:06:39,933
Hey, we talked about the howling!

151
00:06:39,935 --> 00:06:42,953
Sorry Emily. How's that
espresso machine coming?

152
00:06:42,955 --> 00:06:44,121
Oh, yeah. I ordered it.

153
00:06:44,197 --> 00:06:45,622
Oh, you are the best!

154
00:06:45,699 --> 00:06:47,216
It's coming from Milan.

155
00:06:47,293 --> 00:06:48,694
You don't fool me, Frank.

156
00:06:48,719 --> 00:06:51,945
Underneath that crusty exterior
is a soft, chewy center.

157
00:06:51,947 --> 00:06:53,113
Mmm... no.

158
00:06:53,115 --> 00:06:55,115
Yeah. He's not that kinda cookie, kid.

159
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:56,594
What do you mean?

160
00:06:56,619 --> 00:06:58,969
Look, and you didn't hear this from us,

161
00:06:58,971 --> 00:07:02,623
Frank used to be a cop but then
he uncovered some corruption,

162
00:07:02,625 --> 00:07:05,067
and instead of cleaning it up,
they fired him.

163
00:07:05,144 --> 00:07:07,131
Whoa. That's heavy.

164
00:07:08,464 --> 00:07:11,189
Greenview Meadow Preschool.
Oh, God in heaven, no.

165
00:07:11,191 --> 00:07:12,983
There's no way this isn't
something awful.

166
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:15,986
Hello? Yeah.

167
00:07:16,063 --> 00:07:17,228
Danny won't poop in school again.

168
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:19,064
He's like me, he gets nervous
at away games.

169
00:07:19,066 --> 00:07:20,082
Aww, poor sausage.

170
00:07:20,159 --> 00:07:21,642
Yeah, go ahead and put him on.

171
00:07:21,644 --> 00:07:24,235
Hey buddy, it's okay, listen.

172
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:26,419
Just like we do at home, okay?

173
00:07:26,757 --> 00:07:28,832
? I know what to do... ?

174
00:07:28,909 --> 00:07:31,076
? when I'm about to poo... ?

175
00:07:31,153 --> 00:07:33,078
? I go to the potty, ?

176
00:07:33,155 --> 00:07:35,489
? pull my underwear down... ?

177
00:07:35,491 --> 00:07:38,008
? And I sit and wait... ?

178
00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:40,510
? I sit and wait... ?

179
00:07:40,587 --> 00:07:44,440
? I sit and wait until
the poop falls down ?

180
00:07:44,516 --> 00:07:49,094
? Then I wipe and wipe,
'till brown leaves town, ?

181
00:07:49,171 --> 00:07:53,023
? I put it in the potty
and I flush it down ?

182
00:07:53,048 --> 00:07:54,888
Whooo! Banger!

183
00:07:54,913 --> 00:07:56,821
Wow, sounds like you had quite a bit.

184
00:07:56,846 --> 00:07:58,846
I'm proud of you, my little soldier.

185
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,082
Way to go, Danny!

186
00:08:00,107 --> 00:08:02,199
Okay. Alright. Bye.

187
00:08:02,275 --> 00:08:03,603
Hi.

188
00:08:03,628 --> 00:08:05,285
I could use some help getting
a mastiff on the table.

189
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:06,318
- No problem.
- Yes! I'll... I'll help.

190
00:08:06,343 --> 00:08:07,496
Absolutely.

191
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,965
Hey... you're Shred, right?

192
00:08:10,042 --> 00:08:12,951
Hey. Oh yeah, hi. Nice to meet you.

193
00:08:12,953 --> 00:08:14,970
Are you the, um... hot vet?

194
00:08:15,211 --> 00:08:17,365
- No, we say that behind her back.
- Yeah.

195
00:08:17,390 --> 00:08:19,926
Oh God, I'm so sorry if
that came off disrespectful.

196
00:08:19,951 --> 00:08:23,180
I'll retract it and say
you're in no way hot.

197
00:08:23,205 --> 00:08:25,532
Doctor Summers.

198
00:08:25,557 --> 00:08:28,800
I don't wanna embarrass you
but I'm a huge winter sports fan

199
00:08:28,878 --> 00:08:31,561
and I saw you at the X Games
in Whistler.

200
00:08:31,638 --> 00:08:32,988
- 2019.
- Yeah.

201
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,066
Against The Goose.

202
00:08:34,091 --> 00:08:35,590
- Oh, so good!
- She's a fan.

203
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,619
You did that backside
right in front of me.

204
00:08:37,644 --> 00:08:38,685
She's a fan.

205
00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:40,381
They've been replaying it
on ESPN Classics.

206
00:08:40,406 --> 00:08:42,313
Every time I watch it, I think
I'm not gonna stick the landing

207
00:08:42,338 --> 00:08:43,817
and then I do...

208
00:08:43,842 --> 00:08:45,719
and it kinda blows my mind
all over again.

209
00:08:45,744 --> 00:08:46,771
So good.

210
00:08:46,796 --> 00:08:48,325
Anyway, sorry.
You needed help with something?

211
00:08:48,350 --> 00:08:49,897
Uh, yeah that'd be great. Come on.

212
00:08:49,899 --> 00:08:51,223
Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

213
00:08:51,248 --> 00:08:54,568
No. No. He does not get
to just sashay in here

214
00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:58,028
and have sex with someone
we've all been trying to nail for years.

215
00:08:58,053 --> 00:09:00,506
Yeah, he has to get in line
and wait like everybody else.

216
00:09:00,531 --> 00:09:02,014
Low rent Shawn White.

217
00:09:02,669 --> 00:09:04,169
Yo. Delores...

218
00:09:04,246 --> 00:09:05,762
I need the key.

219
00:09:05,839 --> 00:09:06,897
Name and time.

220
00:09:16,183 --> 00:09:17,741
Connie Lingus?

221
00:09:18,430 --> 00:09:19,912
Real mature!

222
00:09:24,209 --> 00:09:25,892
You know what Mark Twain said?

223
00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:28,670
I'm not 100 percent
on who Mark Twain is.

224
00:09:28,695 --> 00:09:30,437
That's a whole other conversation now.

225
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:32,530
He said if you pick up a starving dog

226
00:09:32,608 --> 00:09:35,168
and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you.

227
00:09:35,193 --> 00:09:38,536
This is the principal difference
between a dog and a man.

228
00:09:38,614 --> 00:09:39,963
Is this about the hot vet?

229
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,028
Yeah, of course it's about the hot vet.

230
00:09:42,053 --> 00:09:43,684
I've been laying the groundwork
for years.

231
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:46,136
Do you know how many vaccination
clinics I've volunteered for?

232
00:09:46,213 --> 00:09:47,741
A lot of vaccination clinics.

233
00:09:47,766 --> 00:09:50,267
I've eradicated entire diseases
in pursuit of that woman.

234
00:09:50,292 --> 00:09:53,051
But dude, I'm not, like, a threat.
I have a girlfriend.

235
00:09:53,053 --> 00:09:55,692
She's a snowboarder, she's from Spain

236
00:09:55,717 --> 00:09:58,982
and if you'd asked me even
one question you'd know that.

237
00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:00,634
I'm not gonna lie,
that's a bit of a relief.

238
00:10:00,636 --> 00:10:03,500
Yeah, and if I was gonna dip
my toe into the work pool,

239
00:10:03,525 --> 00:10:05,082
it wouldn't be the hot vet.

240
00:10:05,107 --> 00:10:06,974
Well, not Victoria.
I got dibs there too.

241
00:10:06,976 --> 00:10:09,810
No. Emily. The boss lady.

242
00:10:09,812 --> 00:10:12,864
She's just so clumsy and
uncomfortable in her own body.

243
00:10:12,889 --> 00:10:15,165
I guess I just dig an awkward chick.

244
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:17,184
This is a texture I didn't know you had.

245
00:10:17,209 --> 00:10:19,926
You see, this partnership...
it's blossoming.

246
00:10:19,951 --> 00:10:23,507
Oh, and I Googled wolves.
They run in packs.

247
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:25,842
Well, except the lone ones.
Otherwise they would just be wolves.

248
00:10:25,919 --> 00:10:27,229
And you had to Google that?

249
00:10:27,254 --> 00:10:29,420
There's no shame in admitting
gaps in knowledge.

250
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,181
Unrelated but also interesting...

251
00:10:31,258 --> 00:10:33,609
did you know snails can have sex
with themselves?

252
00:10:33,685 --> 00:10:36,111
Truck 12, neighbor complaint.

253
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,947
Unlicensed ostrich farm.
360 North Harding.

254
00:10:39,024 --> 00:10:40,654
Truck 12 responding.

255
00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:42,896
Ostriches. I love this job.

256
00:10:53,113 --> 00:10:55,613
Hi, I'm Emily Price from animal con...

257
00:10:55,691 --> 00:10:58,967
Wow, that is worse than I thought.

258
00:11:00,696 --> 00:11:02,197
I brought muffins.

259
00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:09,598
Hey. Officers on the scene
with loaded snausages.

260
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:14,594
Never gets old, Tom.
What have we got here?

261
00:11:14,619 --> 00:11:15,853
Waiting for the coroner.

262
00:11:15,878 --> 00:11:18,211
The guy's been dead three days
and no one knew it.

263
00:11:18,213 --> 00:11:20,615
His dog never left his side.

264
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,199
We'll find him a good home.

265
00:11:24,978 --> 00:11:27,571
Three days. Can you imagine?

266
00:11:27,647 --> 00:11:30,073
Three days without anybody
knowing where I was.

267
00:11:32,895 --> 00:11:34,578
I'd kill for that.

268
00:11:35,247 --> 00:11:39,181
Hey. Hey, it's gonna be okay.

269
00:11:40,527 --> 00:11:43,136
Charlie. He's so cute!

270
00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:52,070
Whoa. Those are some tall birds.

271
00:11:52,095 --> 00:11:54,064
Yeah, and their eyes are bigger
than their brains,

272
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,438
so you should feel right at home.

273
00:11:55,463 --> 00:11:57,281
Your ribbing feels affectionate.

274
00:11:57,306 --> 00:11:59,586
And I know you're going
for more emotional distance.

275
00:11:59,611 --> 00:12:02,105
Hey, your shirt's sticking out.
Let me fix it.

276
00:12:02,182 --> 00:12:04,366
There you go, now you look respectable.

277
00:12:04,443 --> 00:12:07,305
Look at you taking care of your partner.

278
00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:09,273
Bonding alert. Calling all units.

279
00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:10,332
Alright, calm down.

280
00:12:10,357 --> 00:12:12,669
Ma'am, hi. City of Seattle
Animal Control.

281
00:12:12,694 --> 00:12:14,177
Is it alright if we enter?

282
00:12:14,202 --> 00:12:15,792
Make sure to close the gate.

283
00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:18,255
Did my stupid neighbor call you?

284
00:12:19,532 --> 00:12:20,961
What's going on here?

285
00:12:20,986 --> 00:12:23,110
You making belts or selling their meat?

286
00:12:23,112 --> 00:12:24,553
I sell the eggs at the Farmer's Market.

287
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:27,372
Well, you're gonna need a license
from the Zoning Commission.

288
00:12:27,449 --> 00:12:30,208
Uh... these guys like me.

289
00:12:30,285 --> 00:12:32,033
Everyone likes you, Shred.

290
00:12:33,046 --> 00:12:34,669
Should I be concerned?

291
00:12:34,694 --> 00:12:36,525
Well, that's really up to you.

292
00:12:36,588 --> 00:12:40,385
They are violent and strong and
have famously bad temperaments.

293
00:12:40,462 --> 00:12:42,738
Oh, and as you can see
they're really fast.

294
00:12:42,814 --> 00:12:44,722
So I would kick it up a gear
if I were you.

295
00:12:44,724 --> 00:12:47,725
In the meantime, I'll just be
writing this citation.

296
00:12:47,727 --> 00:12:51,079
It's bad, Frank! They won't stop.

297
00:12:51,156 --> 00:12:54,227
It's starting to feel
extremely targeted!

298
00:12:54,252 --> 00:12:57,570
Yeah. Well, they either see you
as a food source or a potential mate.

299
00:12:57,595 --> 00:12:59,829
Either way, I would just
let nature take its course.

300
00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:01,469
They're relentless!

301
00:13:01,494 --> 00:13:03,408
But don't worry, I'm getting all of it.

302
00:13:05,745 --> 00:13:07,262
Look at 'em move.

303
00:13:08,818 --> 00:13:11,529
These muffins are delicious.
You have to give me the recipe.

304
00:13:11,554 --> 00:13:13,555
Oh, I will.
And you know what? They're healthy too.

305
00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:15,555
Everyone in my office
has some kind of allergy

306
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:17,658
so I can never bake anything fun.

307
00:13:19,685 --> 00:13:23,163
Look, we agree. We don't wanna
turn this into a big legal thing.

308
00:13:23,188 --> 00:13:25,805
Great. Great.
And... and you have my word,

309
00:13:25,830 --> 00:13:27,783
the City will pay for everything.

310
00:13:27,785 --> 00:13:29,176
Okay.

311
00:13:29,201 --> 00:13:32,244
If you'll just excuse me, I'm
just gonna let somebody know.

312
00:13:34,539 --> 00:13:36,326
Emily said they're not going to sue

313
00:13:36,351 --> 00:13:40,370
and sent a pile of poop emoji...
and a middle finger emoji.

314
00:13:40,682 --> 00:13:41,756
Whatever.

315
00:13:41,781 --> 00:13:45,116
Alright... I won't take up
anymore of your time.

316
00:13:45,194 --> 00:13:47,150
Thank you both.

317
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:50,806
You didn't use sesame oil
in these, did you?

318
00:13:50,882 --> 00:13:52,875
You know what, I did.

319
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,826
I find it just gives it, like,
a little tang.

320
00:13:55,958 --> 00:13:57,037
Oh God.

321
00:13:57,062 --> 00:13:58,551
- I'll get the EpiPen.
- Thank you.

322
00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:00,477
Wait, wait... what's happening?

323
00:14:00,502 --> 00:14:01,725
Call 911.

324
00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:02,876
Right now?

325
00:14:02,878 --> 00:14:05,091
No! Oh, no!

326
00:14:05,116 --> 00:14:08,192
Knock it off.
This is not fun for me. This is not fun.

327
00:14:08,217 --> 00:14:09,846
I've never seen them like this.

328
00:14:09,871 --> 00:14:10,961
Little help here, Frank.

329
00:14:10,986 --> 00:14:14,072
Man, they must, uh... smell
something on your clothes.

330
00:14:14,097 --> 00:14:15,672
What kinda detergent do you use?

331
00:14:15,697 --> 00:14:18,243
Tide liquid pods. They get out anything.

332
00:14:18,268 --> 00:14:19,434
Maybe lose the shirt?

333
00:14:19,511 --> 00:14:20,944
Oh, oh yeah.

334
00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:25,591
That is pretty
disrespectful to the uniform.

335
00:14:25,593 --> 00:14:27,776
But you gotta do what you gotta do.

336
00:14:28,429 --> 00:14:31,430
Hmm. It's gotta be the pants.

337
00:14:31,432 --> 00:14:33,432
- The pants.
- Yeah.

338
00:14:35,619 --> 00:14:38,453
This is the weirdest strip show
I've ever seen.

339
00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:40,255
And I've seen a number of them.

340
00:14:46,463 --> 00:14:49,038
Is that your beef stick?

341
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:52,284
In my defense, uh, I didn't
think it would work that well.

342
00:14:52,286 --> 00:14:54,728
Uncool, bro. Really Uncool!

343
00:14:54,805 --> 00:14:56,485
And I'm sorry to raise my voice
right now

344
00:14:56,510 --> 00:14:58,267
but I'm pretty high up in this tree

345
00:14:58,292 --> 00:14:59,791
and you crossed a line, brother!

346
00:14:59,793 --> 00:15:01,885
They could've taken my penis, Frank!

347
00:15:01,887 --> 00:15:05,072
Yeah, but they didn't and that's
what makes it funny.

348
00:15:05,149 --> 00:15:07,799
Dude, I know that the police
department screwed you over

349
00:15:07,801 --> 00:15:10,805
and people let you down
but to learn nothing from that

350
00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:13,845
except to be a jerk, that just
makes you a douche, dude.

351
00:15:13,899 --> 00:15:15,469
You're missing all the nuance.

352
00:15:15,494 --> 00:15:18,522
I'm a douche for a lot
of complicated reasons.

353
00:15:18,547 --> 00:15:21,363
Dude, I blew out my knee three
months before the Olympics.

354
00:15:21,365 --> 00:15:23,624
But I didn't let it make me
hate the world.

355
00:15:23,701 --> 00:15:26,535
We all have a choice in life
and I chose to stay positive.

356
00:15:26,613 --> 00:15:28,744
Well, that just makes me
question your judgment.

357
00:15:28,769 --> 00:15:30,035
Well you'll be proud to know

358
00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:33,227
I'm feeling pretty negative
right now, Frank!

359
00:15:34,062 --> 00:15:36,637
You have a ticket for 600 bucks,
by the way.

360
00:15:36,714 --> 00:15:38,565
- Can I pay you in eggs?
- No.

361
00:15:40,425 --> 00:15:41,474
Yeah, come in.

362
00:15:43,313 --> 00:15:45,238
I'd like to request a transfer.

363
00:15:45,315 --> 00:15:47,223
My senior officer, by word and action,

364
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:49,484
has made it clear that
he doesn't want me around.

365
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,803
Despite the rumors,
I'm not a people person.

366
00:15:51,805 --> 00:15:54,063
Really? Are you sure?

367
00:15:54,065 --> 00:15:55,990
I'd have to move you to central

368
00:15:56,067 --> 00:15:58,877
and Templeton has the only free truck.

369
00:16:00,228 --> 00:16:01,421
Yes.

370
00:16:01,446 --> 00:16:02,495
You heard the man.

371
00:16:04,242 --> 00:16:07,485
Templeton.
You'd really do that to Shred?

372
00:16:07,487 --> 00:16:10,655
He'll be fine. He'll be happy
in literally any situation.

373
00:16:10,657 --> 00:16:13,508
Which is the very trait that
makes him challenging for me.

374
00:16:13,584 --> 00:16:15,994
Well, what if you viewed it
as a growth opportunity?

375
00:16:15,996 --> 00:16:17,103
I'm not looking for growth.

376
00:16:17,196 --> 00:16:19,157
If growth wants me bad enough,
it knows where to find me.

377
00:16:19,182 --> 00:16:21,516
Yeah. Alone in your apartment.

378
00:16:21,518 --> 00:16:23,092
Where I am so content.

379
00:16:23,169 --> 00:16:26,446
Now... can I interest you
in a chicken pesto panini?

380
00:16:27,507 --> 00:16:28,597
I wanna say no, but yeah.

381
00:16:28,599 --> 00:16:30,013
Your heart is black

382
00:16:30,038 --> 00:16:32,506
but you know how to make
a really good sandwich.

383
00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:34,855
You guys making sandwiches?

384
00:16:35,509 --> 00:16:36,831
Oh!

385
00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:47,041
Hello? Who's there?

386
00:16:47,118 --> 00:16:50,619
It's Shred. I forgot my coat, so...

387
00:16:50,697 --> 00:16:51,787
- Hey.
- Hey.

388
00:16:51,865 --> 00:16:54,257
Oh, I'm sorry how everything worked out.

389
00:16:54,292 --> 00:16:57,644
I love Frank but sometimes he
can just be too much like... Frank.

390
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:01,481
Yeah. I really thought I was gonna
be able to crack him, you know?

391
00:17:01,558 --> 00:17:02,890
What are you still doing here?

392
00:17:02,967 --> 00:17:04,800
Oh, we have a pet adoption coming up

393
00:17:04,878 --> 00:17:06,744
so I was just gonna get
these flyers out.

394
00:17:06,746 --> 00:17:08,111
Cool.

395
00:17:08,231 --> 00:17:10,657
You know, the thing about
snowboarding is

396
00:17:10,733 --> 00:17:12,041
it's a solo sport.

397
00:17:12,066 --> 00:17:13,067
Mmhmm.

398
00:17:13,092 --> 00:17:15,291
Like, when you're on the mountain
it's just you all alone.

399
00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:17,532
When I got injured nobody
found me for two hours.

400
00:17:17,557 --> 00:17:20,482
What, so the Saint Bernard thing
is a myth?

401
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,411
I'm the wrong guy to ask.
I still sorta believe in Santa Claus.

402
00:17:24,506 --> 00:17:25,559
What?

403
00:17:25,584 --> 00:17:26,609
Oh.

404
00:17:26,634 --> 00:17:27,709
Do you need a hand?

405
00:17:27,734 --> 00:17:29,250
Um... yeah.

406
00:17:29,327 --> 00:17:32,570
Sorry. Thanks.
I can just be a little clumsy.

407
00:17:32,572 --> 00:17:33,706
I know.

408
00:17:33,731 --> 00:17:37,091
You know, honestly... I don't
know that I'm cut out for this job.

409
00:17:37,168 --> 00:17:41,095
I mean, I sent that poor guy
to the hospital today.

410
00:17:41,097 --> 00:17:43,339
Yeah, but I almost burned down his house

411
00:17:43,341 --> 00:17:45,750
and sent him to the hospital, so...

412
00:17:45,752 --> 00:17:48,436
That's true.

413
00:17:48,512 --> 00:17:50,846
Oh, I'm gonna miss seeing you
around the precinct everyday.

414
00:17:50,924 --> 00:17:52,365
Yeah, me too.

415
00:17:53,610 --> 00:17:55,851
Um... but you know now that,

416
00:17:55,853 --> 00:17:58,763
I mean, I'm not gonna be your boss...

417
00:17:58,765 --> 00:18:00,598
Like, we wouldn't...

418
00:18:00,709 --> 00:18:02,600
Sorry. Sorry. It's my girlfriend.

419
00:18:02,602 --> 00:18:03,692
Oh, my God. Ah...

420
00:18:03,694 --> 00:18:06,695
- I should get this.
- Yeah, yes.

421
00:18:06,697 --> 00:18:09,220
Hey babe. I heard you got powder.

422
00:18:12,703 --> 00:18:15,780
What do you think, Charlie?
You like your new home?

423
00:18:15,798 --> 00:18:17,101
Yeah?

424
00:18:19,877 --> 00:18:21,185
Hang on.

425
00:18:22,322 --> 00:18:24,189
_

426
00:18:26,515 --> 00:18:29,546
_

427
00:18:32,574 --> 00:18:37,595
? And I wipe and I wipe
'till the brown leaves town ?

428
00:18:38,488 --> 00:18:43,439
? Put it in the potty
and flush it down ?

429
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:48,479
? Bye bye poo ?

430
00:18:48,481 --> 00:18:51,963
? Bye bye poo ?

431
00:18:51,988 --> 00:18:54,247
Shred Taylor
needs an 88 to get to on the podium.

432
00:18:54,272 --> 00:18:55,513
No way.

433
00:18:55,655 --> 00:18:58,414
Here is another
look at his backside rodeo 540.

434
00:18:58,491 --> 00:19:02,245
Will it be enough to medal?
And here comes the score...

435
00:19:02,270 --> 00:19:06,940
Oh! 87.3. Ugh, man, that is
heartbreaking.

436
00:19:07,016 --> 00:19:08,775
Shred Taylor finishes fourth.

437
00:19:10,186 --> 00:19:13,429
Look at this kid.
You'd never know he lost.

438
00:19:13,490 --> 00:19:14,923
Gotta love him.

439
00:19:23,107 --> 00:19:26,200
I'm not ready for a dog.
I need you to take Charlie.

440
00:19:27,517 --> 00:19:29,462
No, no. I have my own two dogs.
I'm fine.

441
00:19:29,464 --> 00:19:31,189
Oh my God, he's so cute!

442
00:19:31,191 --> 00:19:34,074
Oh, do you want him? You guys love him.

443
00:19:34,152 --> 00:19:35,193
You can have him.

444
00:19:35,218 --> 00:19:36,762
No, we're not taking the dog.
We don't need the dog.

445
00:19:36,787 --> 00:19:39,547
Also... I can't take care of this.

446
00:19:39,623 --> 00:19:42,124
I don't need this.
I already have lots of plants.

447
00:19:42,143 --> 00:19:43,247
I don't need more plants.

448
00:19:43,272 --> 00:19:46,312
No, don't go. No, stop that dance.
Come back.

449
00:19:47,874 --> 00:19:49,357
You're so cute.

450
00:19:54,823 --> 00:19:57,639
Some dopey looking guy call for an Uber?

451
00:19:57,717 --> 00:19:59,687
I knew you'd show up... partner.

452
00:19:59,712 --> 00:20:00,878
No, you didn't.

453
00:20:00,903 --> 00:20:02,737
And I'm getting rid of you as
soon as a decent rig opens up.

454
00:20:02,762 --> 00:20:04,117
I hope you know that.

455
00:20:04,142 --> 00:20:08,392
If I didn't know you were coming,
how come I got us coffee?

456
00:20:08,394 --> 00:20:10,336
'Cause you were gonna
brownnose Templeton.

457
00:20:10,413 --> 00:20:12,396
Whatever you need
to tell yourself, Frank.

458
00:20:12,398 --> 00:20:14,248
But I always knew you were
a pack animal.

459
00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:16,676
Yesterday you didn't even know
what a pack animal was.

460
00:20:16,827 --> 00:20:19,754
Oh! I also didn't know
that a newborn kangaroo

461
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:23,970
- is the size of a lima bean.
- Okay.

462
00:20:26,003 --> 00:20:27,163
Templeton.

463
00:20:27,188 --> 00:20:28,521
You didn't tell him
you were picking me up?

464
00:20:28,546 --> 00:20:31,494
Nah. It was a game-time decision.

465
00:20:33,344 --> 00:20:35,344
How would you feel about mooning him?

466
00:20:35,421 --> 00:20:36,771
Very good.

467
00:20:36,773 --> 00:20:40,199
But this will be two days in a row
you've negotiated my pants off.

468
00:20:40,276 --> 00:20:41,678
Hmm.

469
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,467
So you really filmed
the whole Templeton thing?

470
00:20:58,492 --> 00:20:59,676
Yes, I did.

471
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:06,158
- To hell with Templeton!
- Nice touch.

472
00:21:10,398 --> 00:21:11,731
Good to have you back.

473
00:21:11,808 --> 00:21:13,457
Good to be back, boss.

474
00:21:13,476 --> 00:21:15,217
Holden Weiner?

475
00:21:15,219 --> 00:21:16,885
Holden Weiner? Really guys?

476
00:21:16,963 --> 00:21:19,280
It's actually Wy-ner.
I get that all the time.

477
00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:22,483
I'm gonna need a signature
for the package.

478
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,597
I think it's an espresso machine.

479
00:21:24,622 --> 00:21:26,063
Ooh! I'll take care of that.

480
00:21:26,088 --> 00:21:30,324
Thank you Mister Weiner.
Thank you so much.

481
00:21:30,365 --> 00:21:31,759
Wyner.

482
00:21:33,737 --> 00:21:35,202
I think she sprung for the milk foamer.

483
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,315
Emily, you are the best!

484
00:21:37,317 --> 00:21:39,133
I'm getting a wine fridge next.

485
00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:43,165
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -