1 00:00:17,477 --> 00:00:20,913 CREDITS 2 00:00:22,008 --> 00:00:23,848 _ 3 00:00:46,031 --> 00:00:48,445 _ 4 00:00:59,696 --> 00:01:01,945 _ 5 00:01:01,976 --> 00:01:03,928 Jesus, Michael. 6 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:07,233 You want to 'Gram with the shrine? 7 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:10,784 - No, I'm good. - _ 8 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:18,078 Well, Kathleen. 9 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:20,246 Welcome to the life. 10 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,624 Hey, sweetheart. 11 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:25,627 Kathleen, I'd love for you to meet my wife, Ava. 12 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,247 Ava, I'd like for you to meet my mortal enemy, 13 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,256 - Kathleen Townsend. - Kathleen. 14 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,801 It is a pleasure to finally meet you. 15 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:36,429 Well, likewise. Likewise. 16 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,557 - Congratulations, newlyweds. - Thank you. 17 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:43,687 A May-December romance really warms my heart. 18 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,689 Aww, that's so sweet. 19 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:48,359 - And you look wonderful, by the way. - Thank you. 20 00:01:48,401 --> 00:01:51,361 I think I recognize that outfit from season six. 21 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:54,781 Okay, well, I will leave the two of you to catch up. 22 00:01:55,259 --> 00:01:56,408 Behave. 23 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,412 Congratulations. 24 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:02,163 Not bad. 25 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,489 I mean, a year ago, 26 00:02:03,531 --> 00:02:05,709 you were doing insurance commercials 27 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,876 with talking beavers. 28 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,586 And now, now you have all this 29 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,220 She have family money? 30 00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:14,426 No. Ava is 100% self-made. 31 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:18,013 She founded a discount online brokerage for women... 32 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,347 She Trade. 33 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,398 So this is a treat. 34 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:25,020 After three years radio silence. 35 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,551 What is this? Some kind of 12-Step thing? 36 00:02:27,592 --> 00:02:30,521 You're a rage-a-holic? You here to make amends? 37 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,568 No. 38 00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,237 This isn't easy for me, Michael. 39 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,740 I know that we have hurt each other in the past. 40 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,701 I know that I have hurt you terribly. 41 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,329 But I have to ask you for a favor. 42 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:49,252 I want you to do a play with me. 43 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,715 What? It's one night only. Regional theater. 44 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,508 But they have very deep pockets. 45 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,345 I think some of the donors are big "Spooky" fans actually. 46 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,805 They offered big money. 47 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,265 What's the play? 48 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,165 "The Ghosts of Pensacola." 49 00:03:04,207 --> 00:03:08,188 Listen, even 30 years ago, that mope-fest sucked. 50 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,732 Those were the best reviews of our career. 51 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,645 - It's a low bar. - Michael, do you know 52 00:03:13,687 --> 00:03:15,528 that if you died tomorrow, 53 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,280 you would be remembered 54 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,252 for Spooky and the Cop. 55 00:03:19,294 --> 00:03:20,492 Well, that's great. 56 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,994 That means I provided joy to a lot of people. 57 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,330 You are an artist. 58 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,707 It rages in your blood. 59 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,417 I know your soul. 60 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:34,339 I remember what the fire was like on that stage. 61 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,091 Okay, I think you're overselling it, darling. 62 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,051 The primal connection we had 63 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,996 before the success, 64 00:03:40,038 --> 00:03:42,597 before the feuds and the tabloids. 65 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,141 Yeah, and the "People" magazine interview 66 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,893 where you implied that I couldn't read. 67 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,896 - I said I was sorry. - It's still on my Wikipedia page. 68 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,899 There's a whole subheading. "Illiteracy." 69 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,902 Michael, I'm desperate. 70 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,071 Please, I'm begging you. 71 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,948 I will do anything you want. 72 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,200 I will prostrate myself publicly. 73 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,828 But I need this. 74 00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:08,248 Do you know what it's like for an actress of a certain age? 75 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,500 You go from mom to senator 76 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,585 to dementia patient. 77 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,796 And, and I need the money. 78 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:21,407 Well, I'm sorry, Kathleen. The answer's no. 79 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,096 Okay. 80 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,223 But if you need some cash, I could, I could ask Ava. 81 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,725 Fuck you! 82 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,855 And fuck you, bitch. 83 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,941 Fuckin' motherfuckers! 84 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,985 - Fuck! - Jesus Christ. 85 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,611 Motherfucker! 86 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,091 God. 87 00:04:40,282 --> 00:04:44,101 Michael, I keep asking you to keep your pills on you. 88 00:04:44,143 --> 00:04:45,452 What if I'm not here? 89 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,826 - Ava... - Your heart. 90 00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:50,290 It's just seeing Kathleen makes my blood pressure spike. 91 00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:52,834 I'll get a massage from Jean Marc. 92 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,004 Darling. 93 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,115 Perhaps you should reconsider. 94 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:01,760 I worry. 95 00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:05,375 You know, my money, my career, 96 00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,932 all of... this. 97 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,977 You miss the limelight. 98 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,481 But with Kathleen? 99 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,232 Come on. 100 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,526 It was 30 years ago. 101 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,987 I'm sure you've both grown since then. 102 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,298 _ 103 00:05:24,328 --> 00:05:27,810 You manipulating, lying shrew! 104 00:05:27,949 --> 00:05:30,384 Grow up, you're a kept man. 105 00:05:30,426 --> 00:05:33,208 You should be used to taking direction from a woman. 106 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:36,556 There is no way I'm letting you direct this damn play! 107 00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:37,671 Whoops, I am. 108 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,423 And you would have known that had you read your contract 109 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,217 or had someone read it to you. 110 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:45,637 Okay, great. I'm in hell! 111 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,903 And get this dog off the stage before I kick it for three points. 112 00:05:48,945 --> 00:05:50,183 Come here, Fosse. 113 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,789 Um, could we possibly discuss 114 00:05:51,836 --> 00:05:53,680 my character's clubfoot for just a moment? 115 00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:55,907 Because I would feel personally a lot more comfortable 116 00:05:55,948 --> 00:05:58,858 if somebody from the clubfoot community were advising. 117 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,851 - God. Really? - Yeah. 118 00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:03,029 Just get out there and hobble, honey. 119 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,698 That's the lunch menu, sir. 120 00:06:06,169 --> 00:06:08,073 - _ - I'll have a club sandwich 121 00:06:08,104 --> 00:06:09,825 with a side order of a gun. 122 00:06:09,866 --> 00:06:12,810 Um, and also, Harry, if it's not too much trouble, 123 00:06:12,851 --> 00:06:16,698 thanks, could you get me a hibiscus tea, please? With milk. 124 00:06:16,933 --> 00:06:19,528 But not almond milk. I know people like it, but I'm allergic 125 00:06:19,570 --> 00:06:21,423 to all tree nuts and legumes, actually. 126 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,013 - Of course, you are. - Well, no, I am. 127 00:06:24,054 --> 00:06:26,925 So if those dog treats are peanut-based, because they smell peanut-based 128 00:06:26,966 --> 00:06:28,426 and they say peanut butter on them, 129 00:06:28,468 --> 00:06:30,994 I could go into anaphylactic shock actually. 130 00:06:31,035 --> 00:06:33,505 Hold on. What the fuck is that? 131 00:06:33,872 --> 00:06:35,207 What? 132 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,564 That thing on your lap. 133 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:38,898 What is it? 134 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,880 My script? 135 00:06:42,746 --> 00:06:44,827 Would you like a representative 136 00:06:44,858 --> 00:06:47,945 of the off-book community present? 137 00:06:48,331 --> 00:06:51,209 You know, this is not a TikTok, baby. 138 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,413 This is my stage! 139 00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:58,012 And you show up knowing your goddamn lines. 140 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,545 These fucking millennials. 141 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,296 Don't worry. You're doing great. 142 00:07:02,398 --> 00:07:04,597 You've already lasted longer than John Stamos. 143 00:07:04,682 --> 00:07:07,347 Where is my stage manager Bill? 144 00:07:07,389 --> 00:07:08,856 - Phil. - Okay, Bill, 145 00:07:08,898 --> 00:07:10,889 we are going to run this play 146 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,267 the exact same way we did in 1991. 147 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:17,604 The timing on my trapdoor exit 148 00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,022 at the finale 149 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:22,484 must be exactly the same. 150 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,612 Well, we don't do trapdoor drops anymore. 151 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,111 It isn't safe. 152 00:07:27,153 --> 00:07:29,021 There's a 15-foot drop down 153 00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:31,871 to a concrete floor underneath, and union regulations state... 154 00:07:31,906 --> 00:07:34,978 Okay, I did that drop every night 155 00:07:35,032 --> 00:07:36,480 for one year. 156 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,286 Frank Rich called it "effective." 157 00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:42,212 Okay, well, that was a long time... 158 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,845 Say the word "ago." 159 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,724 Go ahead. 160 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,214 I want you to. 161 00:08:01,302 --> 00:08:03,145 I'll make it as safe as I can. 162 00:08:03,187 --> 00:08:04,998 Don't knock yourself out, Phil. 163 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,653 Okay, everyone, come on. 164 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:10,341 We have four days to make magic happen here. 165 00:08:10,383 --> 00:08:11,991 Places, everybody. 166 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,162 Places. 167 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,257 _ 168 00:08:22,276 --> 00:08:24,155 _ 169 00:08:31,350 --> 00:08:32,899 _ 170 00:08:32,952 --> 00:08:35,413 Okay, people, to review... 171 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:39,978 Every time a military jet flies over, 172 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,648 I want everything on this stage to shake. 173 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,859 Shake! You got it. Everything. 174 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:49,029 - Yes, ma'am. - Now, on the third flyover, 175 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,906 that is the cue for Michael's monologue. 176 00:08:52,158 --> 00:08:54,077 If he can manage to hit his mark. 177 00:08:54,108 --> 00:08:55,951 Is that big enough? Can you see it? 178 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,456 - _ - Okay. Now, Bill. 179 00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:02,521 Bill, I would like to run through my monologue 180 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,462 all the way till the end till the trapdoor fall. 181 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,047 It's Phil. 182 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,799 Yeah, we're ready! Everything's good! 183 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:13,303 It was cold in Pensacola that winter. 184 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,555 Unnatural cold. 185 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:18,402 Frost that comes too soon 186 00:09:18,437 --> 00:09:20,188 and stays too long. 187 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,020 Maybe forever. 188 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,044 The mist rises up and... 189 00:09:25,296 --> 00:09:27,103 Don't move! 190 00:09:28,116 --> 00:09:31,227 The mist rises up 191 00:09:31,606 --> 00:09:33,517 and covers your toes. 192 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,573 Then your waist. 193 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,788 The waves. 194 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:43,168 They want to meet the clouds. 195 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,920 The mother and child 196 00:09:46,076 --> 00:09:48,797 reaching out for each other... 197 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,976 Goddamn you! 198 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,428 - What the hell...! - Hey, Kathleen. 199 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,234 Why don't you grab me some extra thousand island dressing 200 00:09:58,276 --> 00:09:59,695 while you're back there. 201 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:03,603 - Son of a bitch! - Mats work. 202 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,816 - Hey. - What? 203 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,443 I almost broke my goddamn neck! 204 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,446 - I'm done. I'm out. I quit. - Good. 205 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,517 You walk out now, you're on the hook 206 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:18,284 for a $200,000 kill fee. 207 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,954 So maybe you want to talk to your wife about it first. 208 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,043 The one who pays your allowance. 209 00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:25,145 It's worth every penny! 210 00:10:25,187 --> 00:10:26,918 You know, I'm not so sure, 211 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,757 because I think if she knew 212 00:10:28,799 --> 00:10:31,837 about all your dalliances, maybe not so much. 213 00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:34,950 Alright. You want some mutually-assured destruction? 214 00:10:34,981 --> 00:10:36,314 - Yeah. - I got you, baby. 215 00:10:36,356 --> 00:10:38,508 - Bring it. -Because I'm working on my memoirs, 216 00:10:38,549 --> 00:10:40,683 and I got a whole chapter about... 217 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,142 Acapulco. 218 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,936 You signed an NDA. 219 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:48,732 Yeah, well, now I got NFs to G. 220 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,695 Alright, I'll do your damn play, but I tell you this... 221 00:10:51,813 --> 00:10:53,278 the doomsday clock is ticking. 222 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,822 And when the curtains drop on this play tonight, 223 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,074 you can kiss your career goodbye. 224 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,201 You might want to check your prenup. 225 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,704 Because tomorrow, 226 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:05,751 Ava is getting a little info in the mail 227 00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:08,710 about Chyna with a "Y." 228 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,296 I'm not bluffing. 229 00:11:11,868 --> 00:11:13,006 I know. 230 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,924 You're not a good enough actor. 231 00:11:26,193 --> 00:11:29,120 _ 232 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,986 Okay. Five minutes to call, people. Five minutes. 233 00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:53,477 - Found it. - Thank you. 234 00:11:53,519 --> 00:11:56,299 I got you a seat right up front so I can see you. 235 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,736 Lucky me. 236 00:11:58,275 --> 00:11:59,776 Break a leg. 237 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,098 Ava. Ava darling. 238 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,141 I just wanted to thank you. 239 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,309 Sorry? 240 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,020 Well, I know that you convinced Michael 241 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,731 to do the play with me, and... 242 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,317 I just... thank you. 243 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,236 Kathleen.. 244 00:12:16,284 --> 00:12:17,565 No, see, 245 00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,157 I knew that working with you would be 246 00:12:20,243 --> 00:12:22,825 such a fucking nightmare that it would kill off 247 00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,835 Michael's silly little acting bug 248 00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:27,436 once and for all, and... voilà. 249 00:12:27,478 --> 00:12:29,833 So, thank you. 250 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,126 Psycho. 251 00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,968 That bitch's teeth don't even match. 252 00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,139 The fuck is going on here? 253 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:43,847 Break a leg, Michael. 254 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,089 Better not let Kathleen catch you with those. 255 00:12:46,131 --> 00:12:47,674 What is she going to do, fire me? 256 00:12:47,924 --> 00:12:49,481 A man can dream. 257 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:10,999 Tomcat? 258 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,626 No, that's a Phantom. 259 00:13:14,472 --> 00:13:16,546 Don't know why they bother. 260 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:20,050 They say our boys will be home by Christmas. 261 00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:22,010 What are you afraid of? 262 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:24,012 What will become of her? 263 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,057 I'm afraid that, that she has 264 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:30,341 too much of both of us inside her. 265 00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:34,821 I'm afraid that she has a gunmetal heart. 266 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,630 Like you. 267 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:43,406 Summer felt like winter 268 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,325 felt like spring. 269 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,118 Fucking hack! 270 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,579 Pathetic excuse for a man. 271 00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,790 You ball-busting harpy. 272 00:13:52,385 --> 00:13:53,917 _ 273 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:58,245 Goddamn son of a fucking piece of shit. 274 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,508 You washed-up has-been. 275 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,052 You pathetic preening prick! 276 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,888 You are such a failure. 277 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,634 You think you're an actress? You're a joke. 278 00:14:09,728 --> 00:14:13,520 A lying, philandering failure. 279 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,939 The whole crew used to laugh at you. 280 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,272 Actress? More like hacktress. 281 00:14:18,313 --> 00:14:20,485 You impotent baby. 282 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:24,501 How the fuck did I put up with you all these years? 283 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,942 You shriveled prune. 284 00:14:30,799 --> 00:14:34,139 Not as shriveled as your tiny little dick! 285 00:14:34,201 --> 00:14:35,411 Asshole. 286 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,673 You vain, backstabbing hag. 287 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,388 What kind of god! 288 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:50,348 Bobby. 289 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,185 Bobby, I want my heart to soar. 290 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,590 I will dance on your grave. 291 00:14:57,675 --> 00:14:59,677 I'll piss on your grave. 292 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:09,826 It feels like a storm is brewin'. 293 00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,078 Did you close the windows, sweetheart? 294 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,193 Oh, baby. 295 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,878 I saw the Crawford boy down the supermarket today. 296 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:25,091 He works at the base now. 297 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,040 - Stop it, Mama. - Stop what? 298 00:15:33,082 --> 00:15:34,925 Stop it! Just stop thinking 299 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,310 that any man would ever want me. 300 00:15:37,352 --> 00:15:40,503 No, I didn't say that about your foot. 301 00:15:40,545 --> 00:15:42,484 - No! - No. 302 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:46,159 They say that there are two types of men in Pensacola: 303 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,019 pilots, 304 00:15:48,285 --> 00:15:50,366 and the men who keep 'em up in the air. 305 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,880 And if you forget, they'll remind you. 306 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,509 Some folks say that that's why they fly their jets so low. 307 00:15:57,626 --> 00:15:59,910 Make us spill our morning coffee. 308 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:04,005 Always looking up at the skies 309 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,423 in fear. 310 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,134 Just to keep us in our place. 311 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,059 Look out! 312 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:20,563 Michael! 313 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,945 - Ava. - Shit. 314 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,961 Ava! Ava! 315 00:16:34,387 --> 00:16:35,787 My God! 316 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,818 No! 317 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,963 I think we've got everything we need. 318 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,841 And again, I'm so sorry for your loss. 319 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:48,925 Thank you. 320 00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,177 I'll give you guys some privacy. 321 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,596 I just want you to know that "Spooky and the Cop" 322 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,807 made me choose a career in law enforcement. 323 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,685 Thank you. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. 324 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:15,869 That was the performance of a lifetime. 325 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,246 You did it, darling. 326 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,457 We did it. 327 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,583 We did it. 328 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,158 Come on, you threw a tip at a customer. 329 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,586 - You know what, it was a dime. - And you ate someone's bacon. 330 00:17:34,628 --> 00:17:36,213 They were ignoring me. 331 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,812 You are the worst waitress I've ever had. 332 00:17:38,854 --> 00:17:41,113 And I ran a Cracker Barrel in the Green Zone. 333 00:17:41,155 --> 00:17:42,822 That last part was unnecessary. 334 00:17:42,864 --> 00:17:44,647 But thank you for your service. 335 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,608 Okay. God. 336 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:55,200 Well, as firings go, 337 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,659 hardly my best work. 338 00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,245 Not bad for a matinee. 339 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,752 You happen to know anyplace else 340 00:18:00,794 --> 00:18:02,533 that's looking for a subpar waitress 341 00:18:02,575 --> 00:18:04,321 that doesn't require paperwork 342 00:18:04,705 --> 00:18:06,907 - or references? - Well, actually, 343 00:18:07,181 --> 00:18:09,381 half hours, good tips. 344 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,841 No benefits. 345 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,905 Seasonal work, so it pays cash. 346 00:18:13,946 --> 00:18:16,707 I can put in a good word for you if you're interested. 347 00:18:16,749 --> 00:18:18,932 Well, that actually sounds pretty perfect. 348 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:20,320 What's the catch? 349 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,223 - * Philadelphia * - * Yeah * 350 00:18:23,265 --> 00:18:24,618 - * Am I helping ya? * - * Yeah * 351 00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,130 * Who's your daddy? And by that, I mean * 352 00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,758 - * Founding Father? - * Franklin * 353 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,448 - * Who? Ben Franklin * - * You * 354 00:18:29,490 --> 00:18:30,545 * It's no surprise * 355 00:18:30,601 --> 00:18:32,466 * I'm healthy and wealthy and wise * 356 00:18:32,507 --> 00:18:34,686 * I've been struck by lightning * 357 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,188 * Anyone can see * 358 00:18:37,391 --> 00:18:40,430 * A great big storm and a little old kite * 359 00:18:40,471 --> 00:18:42,706 * Helped me find the key * 360 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:43,867 This is hell. 361 00:18:43,909 --> 00:18:46,710 * I'm all about the Benjamin * 362 00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:49,302 * Benjamin Franklin... * 363 00:18:57,275 --> 00:18:59,221 _ 364 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,214 - _ - Okay, people, 365 00:19:01,425 --> 00:19:02,793 to review... 366 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:07,355 Every time a military jet flies over, 367 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:10,900 I want everything on this stage to shake. 368 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,570 Morning, Jer. Miss me? 369 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,947 Shh! I'm listening to the tech rehearsal. 370 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,534 I'll take that as a yes. 371 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,578 - What is this... - Bill! Bill! 372 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,960 the big magilla they've been working on all week. 373 00:19:24,013 --> 00:19:26,856 That's Kathleen Townsend and Michael Graves 374 00:19:26,887 --> 00:19:28,793 doing "Ghosts of Pensacola" here. 375 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,211 I'm losing my shit. 376 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,654 Hey, hey. No, that's not food. It's a prop. 377 00:19:32,931 --> 00:19:35,103 Prop food. Respect it. 378 00:19:35,158 --> 00:19:37,325 Well, this is food. This is food. You're nuts. 379 00:19:37,367 --> 00:19:39,673 Listen up. No peanuts in anything. 380 00:19:39,715 --> 00:19:42,098 The third banana onstage has an allergy. 381 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,361 It's our one-night-only gala event. 382 00:19:44,403 --> 00:19:47,937 It's a sellout, and I don't get halibut every day. 383 00:19:48,197 --> 00:19:50,914 So I need everyone on their toes. Okay? 384 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:09,292 Wait. Charlie. No! 385 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,013 Goddamn you! 386 00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:25,392 What the hell?! 387 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,144 Hey, Kathleen. 388 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:32,007 Why don't you grab me some extra thousand island dressing while you're back there? 389 00:20:32,124 --> 00:20:34,590 - What? - Son of a bitch! 390 00:20:34,631 --> 00:20:35,985 Mats work! 391 00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,183 Bring me the Philistine. 392 00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:41,491 Please, God, no, don't break another wig. 393 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:50,166 - Hey. - Now you listen to me. 394 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,544 When an actor is performing, 395 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,434 you don't sneeze, 396 00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:56,613 you don't breathe. 397 00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:59,509 You don't dump fucking ice 398 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:02,526 in a fucking frozé dispenser. 399 00:21:02,568 --> 00:21:05,473 Okay, listen, lady, I really. I just... 400 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:07,135 I'm just doing my job here. 401 00:21:07,177 --> 00:21:09,324 What, do you think people come here for the food? 402 00:21:09,679 --> 00:21:11,572 Well, yeah. I mean, kind of. 403 00:21:11,607 --> 00:21:13,481 You know, I'm just a waitress. 404 00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:16,568 It's not really my fault that this place came with a talking wall. 405 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,571 That stage is an altar 406 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,032 where we bare our souls 407 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,617 in search of the truth. 408 00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:27,871 Now you will respect that, young lady, 409 00:21:28,060 --> 00:21:30,271 or you can hit the fucking bricks. 410 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,222 The truth. 411 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:34,925 Wow. 412 00:21:35,251 --> 00:21:37,107 Yeah, sorry. I just, I happen to know 413 00:21:37,149 --> 00:21:39,406 a thing or two about the truth, so I'll tell you. 414 00:21:39,448 --> 00:21:41,092 You got Patrick Swayze, "Roadhouse." 415 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,261 Jennifer Jason Leigh, "Single White Female." 416 00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:45,638 Christian Slater, "True Romance." 417 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,607 Truth, truth, truth. Now, you. 418 00:21:47,649 --> 00:21:49,554 Well, I did happen to catch 419 00:21:49,596 --> 00:21:52,133 a few words through the rainstorm. 420 00:21:52,175 --> 00:21:54,701 And I'll tell you the truth, I didn't believe a single word. 421 00:21:54,743 --> 00:21:57,039 In fact, I would say that that's maybe 422 00:21:57,086 --> 00:22:00,074 the biggest batch of bullshit I've heard in my whole, 423 00:22:00,105 --> 00:22:01,951 yeah, whole entire life. 424 00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:04,322 Jesus. 425 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,452 I get it. I'll see myself out. 426 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:10,663 I haven't been spoken to that way in 30 years. 427 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,711 - Does this mean I'm not fired. - Fired? 428 00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,464 My God. What you're giving me is gold. 429 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,049 It's fuel. 430 00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:25,637 I live off it. I use it. 431 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,015 And you're lucky you took those earbuds out 432 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:32,852 because you're about to hear the performance of a lifetime. 433 00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:37,524 I love your work. 434 00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,578 Hey. 435 00:22:40,244 --> 00:22:41,444 Hey. 436 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,279 You survived a face full 437 00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:45,095 of Kathleen Townsend, kid. 438 00:22:45,986 --> 00:22:49,006 I mean, you seem like a normal guy, Phil. 439 00:22:49,041 --> 00:22:51,180 How are you putting up with these theater people? 440 00:22:51,222 --> 00:22:54,624 Well, you got to love 'em, and you got to understand 'em. 441 00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:57,627 I mean, what Kathleen said, she's right. 442 00:22:57,669 --> 00:23:00,755 What happens on that stage is a kind of magic. 443 00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,799 And I get to see someone hit with it, 444 00:23:02,841 --> 00:23:06,653 truly transformed by it for the first time every show. 445 00:23:06,694 --> 00:23:08,596 That's probably why I keep doing it. 446 00:23:08,991 --> 00:23:11,057 Well, you're a better man than me, Phil. 447 00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:14,672 Well, everything I said and, but also, 448 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:18,063 Jack Daniels is my dramaturg. 449 00:23:19,870 --> 00:23:23,622 Now you see, this is the kind of pep talk I can get behind. 450 00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:25,822 One night only, kid. 451 00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:27,907 After opening, this is all over. 452 00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:31,485 To opening night. 453 00:23:32,424 --> 00:23:35,362 _ 454 00:23:39,711 --> 00:23:41,004 Excuse me, darling. 455 00:23:41,046 --> 00:23:43,006 Can you get me absolutely shit-faced? 456 00:23:43,048 --> 00:23:45,508 You'll never see the bottom of that glass. 457 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:46,926 You mean like you? 458 00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:52,829 Summer felt like winter 459 00:23:52,919 --> 00:23:54,534 felt like spring. 460 00:23:54,575 --> 00:23:56,452 Makes you miss the hip-hop Ben Franklin. 461 00:23:56,494 --> 00:23:58,166 I didn't know what the seasons felt like... 462 00:23:58,842 --> 00:24:00,690 You washed-up has-been. 463 00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:03,106 You pathetic, preening prick! 464 00:24:03,148 --> 00:24:04,707 Glad someone's riveted. 465 00:24:04,748 --> 00:24:06,071 actress. You're a joke. 466 00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,778 Kathleen and Michael are fighting backstage, 467 00:24:07,798 --> 00:24:09,191 and they forgot to turn off their mics. 468 00:24:09,245 --> 00:24:10,367 Failure. 469 00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:12,479 The whole crew used to laugh at you. 470 00:24:12,513 --> 00:24:14,871 - You weren't kidding. - Actress? More like hacktress. 471 00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:17,404 Hold on, if we can hear this, 472 00:24:17,611 --> 00:24:19,876 you realize who else can hear it, right? 473 00:24:21,522 --> 00:24:24,272 And I always ask myself, why, God? 474 00:24:24,448 --> 00:24:25,635 Why? 475 00:24:25,799 --> 00:24:28,176 - But Bobby always made me feel... - Prune! 476 00:24:28,218 --> 00:24:31,680 Not as shriveled as your tiny little dick! 477 00:24:31,722 --> 00:24:33,098 Asshole! 478 00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:35,525 You vain, backstabbing hag. 479 00:24:35,566 --> 00:24:38,443 Who's talking? Is that the ghost? 480 00:24:38,604 --> 00:24:40,523 That's all I've ever wanted. 481 00:24:46,708 --> 00:24:49,906 Feels like a storm is brewin'. 482 00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:54,119 I saw the Crawford boy down the supermarket today. 483 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,504 He asked about you. 484 00:24:55,546 --> 00:24:57,189 - Thanks. - Stop it, Mama! 485 00:24:57,231 --> 00:25:00,081 Stop thinking that any man would ever want me. 486 00:25:00,112 --> 00:25:01,410 Kill me. 487 00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:04,963 There are two kinds of men in Pensacola... 488 00:25:05,005 --> 00:25:08,440 pilots, and the men who keep 'em up in the air. 489 00:25:08,925 --> 00:25:11,219 And if you forget, they'll remind you. 490 00:25:11,261 --> 00:25:12,303 Watch Kathleen. 491 00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:14,889 - Some folks say that's why... - She's so present. 492 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,100 Look at her. 493 00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:20,103 Fear and anticipation in her eyes. 494 00:25:21,384 --> 00:25:22,761 Yeah, you're right. 495 00:25:22,792 --> 00:25:25,086 This is the first time I've really believed her. 496 00:25:26,761 --> 00:25:28,295 Look out! 497 00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,780 Ava! 498 00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:32,133 Michael! 499 00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:33,241 Ava! 500 00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:44,280 Ava! Ava! 501 00:25:44,965 --> 00:25:46,642 My God! 502 00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:54,637 I mean, look, it's not your fault. 503 00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:57,474 A woman fell to her death on my stage. 504 00:25:57,515 --> 00:25:58,874 How is it not my fault? 505 00:25:58,916 --> 00:26:01,019 Because it was a crazy accident, okay? 506 00:26:01,061 --> 00:26:03,218 I mean, just think about all the things 507 00:26:03,260 --> 00:26:04,898 that had to go wrong. 508 00:26:04,939 --> 00:26:07,609 The light fell. Michael had a heart attack. 509 00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:09,915 His wife ran up with his pills 510 00:26:09,963 --> 00:26:13,163 after I poured her a bottle of the good stuff, by the way. 511 00:26:13,198 --> 00:26:15,950 If any one of those things hadn't happened, 512 00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:17,982 you and me will be outside by the dumpsters 513 00:26:18,023 --> 00:26:20,649 ranking Christopher Nolan movies right now. 514 00:26:20,690 --> 00:26:22,624 No, as soon as the curtain goes up, 515 00:26:22,665 --> 00:26:24,640 it's all my responsibility. 516 00:26:25,669 --> 00:26:27,491 I guess I'm lucky. 517 00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:29,707 All the cops had to do is check my thermos, 518 00:26:29,758 --> 00:26:31,468 and I'd be sitting in a cell. 519 00:26:32,798 --> 00:26:35,426 Come on. I know you. 520 00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:39,087 It was just a little Irish coffee to take the edge off, right? 521 00:26:39,137 --> 00:26:40,812 Yeah, that's what I thought. 522 00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:43,061 Maybe I'm a lightweight now. 523 00:26:43,381 --> 00:26:46,815 I know I checked that bolt and those pads. 524 00:26:47,043 --> 00:26:49,421 It's the last thing I remember before... 525 00:26:51,929 --> 00:26:53,389 God. 526 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:55,824 God. 527 00:26:55,865 --> 00:26:57,200 My God. 528 00:26:57,242 --> 00:26:59,119 My God. 529 00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:01,842 My God. 530 00:27:02,325 --> 00:27:04,636 _ 531 00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:07,335 Jesus. Should you be leaving those out? 532 00:27:07,377 --> 00:27:09,170 Baby, I'm an actress. 533 00:27:09,212 --> 00:27:12,048 If I didn't have a bottle of Ambien in my dressing room, 534 00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:13,967 people would ask questions. 535 00:27:14,009 --> 00:27:15,981 Yeah, it's too bad about Phil. 536 00:27:16,022 --> 00:27:18,346 It's not like he's in jail or anything. 537 00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:21,349 He just went a little overboard. 538 00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:24,269 Wow. You really missed your window for playing a femme fatale. 539 00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:26,855 Now, I can remind the whole world 540 00:27:26,896 --> 00:27:29,566 what Kathleen Townsend can do. 541 00:27:29,607 --> 00:27:32,819 And the world is watching. 542 00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:34,821 What are you talking about? 543 00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:37,741 We are trending, baby. 544 00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:38,908 Right now, 545 00:27:38,950 --> 00:27:41,786 people are watching us. 546 00:27:41,828 --> 00:27:44,289 They are really watching. 547 00:27:45,915 --> 00:27:50,086 And I never got to deliver my monologue. 548 00:27:50,795 --> 00:27:52,839 - No. - Yes. 549 00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:55,759 One last performance. Tonight. 550 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,427 - No. - For Ava. 551 00:27:57,469 --> 00:27:58,553 - No. - For Ava. 552 00:27:58,595 --> 00:27:59,804 Fuck that. 553 00:27:59,846 --> 00:28:02,937 What happened to we hide out overseas for a year 554 00:28:02,978 --> 00:28:05,458 and then reemerge confessing our love. 555 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:06,968 You wrote the script, baby. 556 00:28:07,010 --> 00:28:08,587 I know. I wrote it. 557 00:28:08,629 --> 00:28:10,184 - And now I'm flipping it. - No. 558 00:28:10,226 --> 00:28:12,093 I'm flipping the script entirely. 559 00:28:12,135 --> 00:28:14,389 Yes. Your tragedy 560 00:28:14,443 --> 00:28:16,665 is what drew us together. 561 00:28:16,821 --> 00:28:18,406 It's risky. 562 00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:20,142 Baby... 563 00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:24,537 don't you want to be together right now? 564 00:28:24,579 --> 00:28:26,456 Yes. 565 00:28:26,498 --> 00:28:29,209 Don't you think we should start spending 566 00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:31,795 some of that She Trade money. 567 00:28:31,836 --> 00:28:33,963 Yes. 568 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,523 The spotlight's ours, baby. 569 00:28:39,219 --> 00:28:41,659 Let's get it while it's hot. 570 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,887 _ 571 00:28:50,959 --> 00:28:53,585 _ 572 00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:54,818 So let me get this straight, 573 00:28:54,859 --> 00:28:57,821 a woman dies right in our faces 574 00:28:57,862 --> 00:29:00,186 and instead of giving us grief counseling, 575 00:29:00,228 --> 00:29:01,783 we have to work. 576 00:29:01,825 --> 00:29:03,618 Theater people are so strong. 577 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:07,001 I don't know, it just, it, it doesn't make any sense. 578 00:29:07,042 --> 00:29:09,749 I mean, the dude had a coronary, 579 00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:11,799 and then his wife died. 580 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,713 Like, what doctor signed off on this? 581 00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:16,766 Find a seat for Sheriff Ed. 582 00:29:16,808 --> 00:29:19,425 He's some crazy "Spooky and the Cop" fan. 583 00:29:19,466 --> 00:29:21,520 It's a sellout. If he doesn't have a ticket... 584 00:29:21,561 --> 00:29:23,338 Give the lawman what he wants. 585 00:29:23,380 --> 00:29:25,661 He just dealt with the richest woman in Connecticut 586 00:29:25,702 --> 00:29:27,562 getting killed by a drunk stagehand. 587 00:29:27,604 --> 00:29:28,977 Come on. Bullshit. 588 00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:30,581 Thin ice. 589 00:29:30,660 --> 00:29:33,037 Get out there and keep your job. 590 00:29:42,532 --> 00:29:43,742 What do you want? 591 00:29:43,783 --> 00:29:45,666 Don't worry about Fosse. 592 00:29:45,708 --> 00:29:47,704 He's very well-behaved today. 593 00:29:51,875 --> 00:29:53,710 So I thought it was weird 594 00:29:53,752 --> 00:29:56,171 that Michael was going over his dialogue for the show 595 00:29:56,212 --> 00:29:59,007 since he didn't miss a single line in rehearsal. 596 00:29:59,049 --> 00:30:03,011 So I checked in his coat pocket and lo and behold, 597 00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:07,015 this is not dialogue from "Ghosts of Pensacola." 598 00:30:07,057 --> 00:30:09,726 This is the fight that the two of you had 599 00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:12,020 during my monologue. 600 00:30:12,062 --> 00:30:15,565 The fight that you used to cover up Ava's murder. 601 00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:19,194 Sweetheart, Michael and I are workshopping 602 00:30:19,235 --> 00:30:22,530 a new play by a brilliant new writer, 603 00:30:22,572 --> 00:30:24,866 and we're running lines backstage. 604 00:30:24,908 --> 00:30:27,619 That might fly if I had seen 605 00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:29,454 the two of you backstage together. 606 00:30:29,496 --> 00:30:31,581 But I didn't. You were gone. 607 00:30:31,623 --> 00:30:34,042 And my monologue gave you just enough time 608 00:30:34,084 --> 00:30:35,669 to sabotage the light and the trapdoor. 609 00:30:35,710 --> 00:30:37,337 So you did it. 610 00:30:37,379 --> 00:30:39,715 You watch too much "Dateline." 611 00:30:39,756 --> 00:30:41,496 No, but I have been watching 612 00:30:41,538 --> 00:30:43,399 a heck of a lot of "Spooky and the Cop." 613 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,578 And this exact thing happens 614 00:30:45,620 --> 00:30:49,248 in season six, episode 11, "Exit Stage Death." 615 00:30:49,557 --> 00:30:52,852 You lazy assholes didn't even bother to change the dialogue. 616 00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:56,062 So, um... 617 00:30:56,407 --> 00:30:58,018 here's my price. 618 00:30:58,149 --> 00:31:01,403 And here is my bank info. 619 00:31:04,698 --> 00:31:07,575 So if that money is not in my account 620 00:31:07,617 --> 00:31:09,997 by the end of the play tonight, 621 00:31:10,453 --> 00:31:12,247 I'm going to the police. 622 00:31:14,958 --> 00:31:17,377 And one last thing. 623 00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:19,769 I killed that fucking monologue, okay? 624 00:31:19,811 --> 00:31:22,382 So don't you ever upstage me again. 625 00:31:23,133 --> 00:31:24,551 Fucking boomers. 626 00:31:27,971 --> 00:31:30,181 Okay, what are we going to do? 627 00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:32,508 We have to pay. 628 00:31:32,976 --> 00:31:34,679 We have no choice. 629 00:31:35,180 --> 00:31:36,521 _ 630 00:31:36,552 --> 00:31:38,052 _ 631 00:31:47,032 --> 00:31:49,117 Just delivering the prop food. 632 00:31:49,159 --> 00:31:50,869 I belong here. 633 00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:52,704 Yeah. Okay, sir, prop food. 634 00:31:52,737 --> 00:31:53,901 Jesus. 635 00:31:53,940 --> 00:31:55,521 Outdoors opens ten minutes to curtain. 636 00:31:55,569 --> 00:31:57,154 Ten minutes to curtain. 637 00:31:59,636 --> 00:32:01,563 Phil's preshow checklist. 638 00:32:01,605 --> 00:32:03,109 Shit. I got to do the checklist. 639 00:32:03,151 --> 00:32:04,466 _ 640 00:32:04,507 --> 00:32:06,777 He ticked off the flappy door checkbox before the show. 641 00:32:06,819 --> 00:32:08,178 - It's here. - _ 642 00:32:08,219 --> 00:32:10,887 - So? - If he secured the flappy door, 643 00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:12,557 that means that someone unsecured it. 644 00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:15,196 That means it wasn't Phil's fault and it wasn't an accident. 645 00:32:15,266 --> 00:32:17,479 Is anyone else besides Kathleen 646 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,522 supposed to go through that flappy door? 647 00:32:19,564 --> 00:32:22,359 Her big trapdoor moment? Are you kidding me? 648 00:32:23,443 --> 00:32:25,904 That means that Kathleen was the target. 649 00:32:25,945 --> 00:32:28,490 - I gotta text Phil. - My God. 650 00:32:28,531 --> 00:32:30,372 - Hey. - It's Charlie. 651 00:32:30,414 --> 00:32:31,826 It wasn't your fault. 652 00:32:31,875 --> 00:32:34,795 It was sabotage. S-A-B-O... 653 00:32:34,829 --> 00:32:36,691 - That doesn't seem right. - The show is about to start. 654 00:32:36,732 --> 00:32:38,381 My God, dude, dude, we just figured out 655 00:32:38,422 --> 00:32:40,172 that someone is trying to kill Kathleen. 656 00:32:40,214 --> 00:32:42,127 Now you're going to give them another whack at the piñata. 657 00:32:42,209 --> 00:32:43,877 But the show is about to start! 658 00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:48,718 If it isn't my fiercest critic. 659 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:52,347 Are you here to give me some notes before my swan song? 660 00:32:52,389 --> 00:32:54,349 It wasn't Phil's fault. 661 00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:55,777 He was framed. 662 00:32:57,060 --> 00:32:58,687 So I think someone drugged him 663 00:32:58,728 --> 00:33:00,522 and futzed with the floor door. 664 00:33:00,563 --> 00:33:02,399 I mean, I don't know why, 665 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,266 but I think you were the target. 666 00:33:04,305 --> 00:33:05,535 Me? 667 00:33:05,659 --> 00:33:08,412 You're the only one who was supposed to stand on it, so... 668 00:33:09,197 --> 00:33:11,408 I walk across it many times 669 00:33:11,449 --> 00:33:13,159 and did not fall through. 670 00:33:13,201 --> 00:33:15,704 My blocking is very vigorous. 671 00:33:17,038 --> 00:33:18,289 - Okay... - Look, 672 00:33:18,331 --> 00:33:20,903 things happen in the theater all the time. 673 00:33:20,945 --> 00:33:22,801 Entire sets collapse. 674 00:33:22,842 --> 00:33:25,051 Live wires get exposed, 675 00:33:25,093 --> 00:33:26,965 they electrocute actors. 676 00:33:27,007 --> 00:33:28,675 But we persevere. 677 00:33:28,717 --> 00:33:31,177 Hey, I-I'm so sorry. I don't think you're hearing me. 678 00:33:31,219 --> 00:33:32,887 Someone's trying to kill you. 679 00:33:32,929 --> 00:33:35,390 I'm not going to let you go back out there. 680 00:33:40,145 --> 00:33:41,896 I'm already on. 681 00:33:43,148 --> 00:33:44,607 Now get out of my room. 682 00:33:45,233 --> 00:33:46,768 Wardrobe. 683 00:33:48,792 --> 00:33:51,696 _ 684 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,918 Tomcat? 685 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,421 No, that's a Phantom. 686 00:34:07,672 --> 00:34:09,424 I don't know why they bother. 687 00:34:09,466 --> 00:34:11,926 They say our boys will be home by Christmas. 688 00:34:11,968 --> 00:34:13,178 Cue 38. 689 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:15,055 Listen, is that Phil? 690 00:34:15,096 --> 00:34:16,389 Give me that. 691 00:34:16,431 --> 00:34:17,766 Phil, Phil. Yeah. 692 00:34:17,807 --> 00:34:19,809 Listen, I, I, I don't get it. 693 00:34:19,851 --> 00:34:21,728 I mean, the bolt must have been in place 694 00:34:21,770 --> 00:34:23,897 until Ava walked across it. 695 00:34:23,938 --> 00:34:26,524 - Did you see anybody else down there? - Nobody. 696 00:34:26,566 --> 00:34:29,037 Look, Charlie, I appreciate what you're trying to do, 697 00:34:29,123 --> 00:34:31,029 - but just let it go. - No can do, Phil. 698 00:34:31,071 --> 00:34:32,932 I'm like De Niro at the end of "Heat," man. 699 00:34:32,973 --> 00:34:34,598 So stay tuned. 700 00:34:36,409 --> 00:34:38,203 I need to see the video of last night's show. 701 00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:41,206 Well, be my guest. Take the curse off me. 702 00:34:41,247 --> 00:34:43,082 It's like the video from "The Ring," 703 00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:44,847 but with Phil gone, I'm the stage manager 704 00:34:44,888 --> 00:34:46,768 and I have nothing to go on except this video 705 00:34:46,810 --> 00:34:48,365 and Phil's notes from last night. 706 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,717 Hey, hey, hey. 707 00:34:52,759 --> 00:34:53,927 What is that? 708 00:34:54,518 --> 00:34:55,686 Is that smoke? 709 00:34:55,907 --> 00:34:57,451 Looks like dry ice. 710 00:34:58,765 --> 00:35:01,267 Where do you keep this, dry ice? 711 00:35:10,443 --> 00:35:11,736 You okay? 712 00:35:11,778 --> 00:35:15,240 Jesus. I-I got to talk to Kathleen. 713 00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:17,909 Hey, wait. Stop! 714 00:35:17,951 --> 00:35:20,912 See that? It's a sight line. 715 00:35:20,954 --> 00:35:23,748 You can't cross it, you're in the play. 716 00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:27,043 Bobby was my unexpected gift. 717 00:35:27,836 --> 00:35:29,421 Shameful as it was, 718 00:35:30,547 --> 00:35:32,966 I loved him so. 719 00:35:33,008 --> 00:35:36,428 He liked the stars that moved fast, 720 00:35:36,469 --> 00:35:38,498 like his aircraft. 721 00:35:38,539 --> 00:35:41,645 Hey, I figured it out. The bolt was dry ice. 722 00:35:41,686 --> 00:35:43,561 Excuse me. That means that someone definitely... 723 00:35:43,603 --> 00:35:45,907 The crickets are certainly very active. 724 00:35:45,949 --> 00:35:47,605 Off! Off the stage. 725 00:35:47,647 --> 00:35:49,441 These crickets are wild. 726 00:35:49,482 --> 00:35:52,026 - Off the stage. - They need to stop, the crickets. 727 00:35:52,068 --> 00:35:54,018 - Get off the stage. - You need to stop now. 728 00:35:54,092 --> 00:35:55,314 You need to get off the stage. 729 00:35:55,488 --> 00:35:57,032 - Um, Garrett... - Jesus! 730 00:35:57,073 --> 00:36:00,201 what are you doing smoking that filthy thing in the house. 731 00:36:00,243 --> 00:36:03,204 You'll give Daisy pleurisy if you don't watch out. 732 00:36:03,246 --> 00:36:06,124 Mother, I smoke. Does that shock you? 733 00:36:06,166 --> 00:36:09,169 That's right. I smoke cigarettes. 734 00:36:09,210 --> 00:36:11,379 Your daughter, your little girl. 735 00:36:11,421 --> 00:36:13,606 - Thank God. It suits me. It calms my spirit... 736 00:36:13,648 --> 00:36:15,639 - Hey! - and it eases my mind. 737 00:36:15,681 --> 00:36:17,974 Yeah, well, looks like we got us 738 00:36:18,015 --> 00:36:20,305 a real smoker, Savannah. 739 00:36:20,347 --> 00:36:21,511 Good for you, Daisy. 740 00:36:21,552 --> 00:36:23,098 Hey, what are you doing? 741 00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:26,603 I myself enjoy smoking by the window over here. 742 00:36:26,644 --> 00:36:29,142 Let me go. Let me go! 743 00:36:29,466 --> 00:36:32,108 Smoke is going to be the death of all of us. 744 00:36:33,193 --> 00:36:34,944 I know what let's do... 745 00:36:34,986 --> 00:36:37,405 let's bake something together. 746 00:36:37,447 --> 00:36:38,782 A key lime pie. 747 00:36:38,823 --> 00:36:40,325 Like when you were a little girl. 748 00:36:40,367 --> 00:36:42,619 I'm not a little girl anymore, Mama. 749 00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:43,828 It was Michael! 750 00:36:43,870 --> 00:36:46,414 His fingers are burned from the dry ice 751 00:36:46,456 --> 00:36:48,285 he used to rig the floor. 752 00:36:48,327 --> 00:36:50,624 There's supposed to be milk in here somewhere. 753 00:36:50,665 --> 00:36:52,003 There. 754 00:36:52,045 --> 00:36:55,131 Michael was on stage the entire time. 755 00:36:55,173 --> 00:36:58,118 No, the chubby foot monologue, that was three minutes. 756 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,178 - He could have... - Our argument. 757 00:37:00,220 --> 00:37:02,544 Everyone heard it. You heard it. 758 00:37:02,586 --> 00:37:05,111 Now, what the fuck are you even talking about? 759 00:37:05,152 --> 00:37:07,385 You almost caught the bus, lady. 760 00:37:07,427 --> 00:37:09,586 That falling light saved your life. 761 00:37:09,627 --> 00:37:12,339 if I were a refrigerator, would you pay attention to me? 762 00:37:12,380 --> 00:37:14,812 Exactly. And do you think he rigged the light 763 00:37:14,844 --> 00:37:16,686 - to kill himself? - The light? 764 00:37:16,727 --> 00:37:19,197 Watching life like his old man! 765 00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:21,950 Why did I push Bobby? Why? 766 00:37:21,991 --> 00:37:25,453 You only told him to aim high. 767 00:37:25,495 --> 00:37:28,707 Isn't that what we all want for our children? 768 00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:33,045 But when I saw him in those dress blues. 769 00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:37,007 That boy was born to fly. 770 00:37:37,048 --> 00:37:39,509 Was he happy, our son? 771 00:37:39,551 --> 00:37:41,136 Was he happy? 772 00:37:41,177 --> 00:37:44,055 Baby, you and I both know that 773 00:37:44,097 --> 00:37:45,724 Bobby was never happy 774 00:37:45,765 --> 00:37:49,394 other than when he was up there flying with the birds... 775 00:37:49,436 --> 00:37:51,152 If that matters. 776 00:37:51,776 --> 00:37:53,466 If anything matters. 777 00:37:54,441 --> 00:37:55,608 I love you. 778 00:37:57,444 --> 00:37:59,041 That matters. 779 00:37:59,571 --> 00:38:00,819 The truth. 780 00:38:01,698 --> 00:38:03,291 I love you, too. 781 00:38:16,796 --> 00:38:18,842 Hey, hey, chubby foot. 782 00:38:18,893 --> 00:38:20,834 We've got a situation here. 783 00:38:20,865 --> 00:38:22,927 Who are you? Did you just come down from the lights? 784 00:38:22,969 --> 00:38:24,414 It doesn't matter. So I thought 785 00:38:24,455 --> 00:38:26,145 that Michael was trying to kill Kathleen, 786 00:38:26,187 --> 00:38:27,577 but I was wrong. 787 00:38:27,619 --> 00:38:30,574 It was his wife, and they were in it together. 788 00:38:30,616 --> 00:38:32,344 Michael and Kathleen. 789 00:38:32,386 --> 00:38:34,439 You see, they don't hate each other. 790 00:38:34,481 --> 00:38:36,328 - They love each other. - Why are you telling me this? 791 00:38:36,370 --> 00:38:38,109 - I'm about to go on. - Because... 792 00:38:38,151 --> 00:38:40,120 Excuse me. You can prove it. 793 00:38:40,162 --> 00:38:43,541 You see, it was during your foot club speech thing. 794 00:38:43,990 --> 00:38:46,312 He was futzing with the flappy door, 795 00:38:46,354 --> 00:38:49,079 and she, she was messing with the light. 796 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,326 What was it? Three minutes, right? 797 00:38:51,367 --> 00:38:54,209 Yes. But I saw the two of them backstage together, 798 00:38:54,250 --> 00:38:56,413 so they couldn't possibly have done it, okay. 799 00:38:56,455 --> 00:38:58,692 So... will you leave me alone. I have to go on. 800 00:38:58,734 --> 00:39:01,460 Wait, why are you lying? Wait, are you in love with him too? 801 00:39:01,501 --> 00:39:03,218 Will you please leave me alone? 802 00:39:03,259 --> 00:39:04,928 Are you a thruple? 803 00:39:04,969 --> 00:39:06,763 - Shit. - Mama. 804 00:39:06,805 --> 00:39:09,849 Do you think Billy Crawford will come calling? 805 00:39:09,891 --> 00:39:13,520 I could call his mother and ask her, couldn't I? 806 00:39:18,942 --> 00:39:22,028 No, never mind, Mama. Forget I mentioned it. 807 00:39:22,070 --> 00:39:23,279 I will. 808 00:39:24,614 --> 00:39:27,450 Do you think there could be a sign or somethin'? 809 00:39:38,253 --> 00:39:40,547 Fucking actors, man. 810 00:39:43,216 --> 00:39:46,344 Chubby foot. Very hardcore. 811 00:39:48,805 --> 00:39:50,932 Shhh. 812 00:39:50,974 --> 00:39:52,426 Quiet, quiet, hey! 813 00:39:52,468 --> 00:39:55,384 Who wants a yummy, yummy little peanut butter treat? 814 00:39:58,231 --> 00:39:59,607 Shit. 815 00:40:05,739 --> 00:40:07,365 Shit, shit, shit. 816 00:40:09,242 --> 00:40:11,536 Look, honey, I made you a little snack. 817 00:40:11,578 --> 00:40:12,579 Jesus. 818 00:40:12,620 --> 00:40:14,414 - Thank you, Mama. - Shit. 819 00:40:15,707 --> 00:40:17,000 Hey. 820 00:40:17,042 --> 00:40:18,335 Who eats the prop? 821 00:40:18,376 --> 00:40:20,653 - Which actor eats the Chex Mix? - Rebecca. 822 00:40:20,695 --> 00:40:22,982 No, they put peanut butter in it. They're gonna kill again. 823 00:40:23,256 --> 00:40:24,382 Shit. 824 00:40:24,424 --> 00:40:26,092 I was so young. 825 00:40:26,134 --> 00:40:28,261 Florida State was looking for a fullback. 826 00:40:28,303 --> 00:40:29,948 Coach was scouting me. 827 00:40:29,990 --> 00:40:32,258 You think I wanted to get married at 18? 828 00:40:32,309 --> 00:40:34,144 Do you think I did? 829 00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:10,679 I am, I am a ghost of Pensacola. 830 00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:14,265 And you are not here to eat. 831 00:41:14,307 --> 00:41:18,109 You are here to talk about your chubby foot 832 00:41:18,353 --> 00:41:21,002 and, feelings. 833 00:41:21,314 --> 00:41:25,068 Do not let your mother 834 00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:27,487 poison your spirit... 835 00:41:29,364 --> 00:41:32,853 and drive you nuts. 836 00:41:33,159 --> 00:41:36,329 And now I will return 837 00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:38,399 to the spirit realm 838 00:41:38,679 --> 00:41:40,628 of Pensacola. 839 00:41:41,126 --> 00:41:42,377 Okay. 840 00:41:42,763 --> 00:41:44,639 Goodbye! 841 00:41:46,673 --> 00:41:48,299 What, why are you looking at me? 842 00:41:48,341 --> 00:41:50,643 - What'd I do? What'd I say? - Listen, Rebec... 843 00:41:50,685 --> 00:41:52,924 I mean, Daisy. Listen, Daisy. 844 00:41:52,965 --> 00:41:55,027 - I had nothing to do with your mom... - Mama. 845 00:41:55,097 --> 00:41:56,519 - What? - Daddy. 846 00:41:56,648 --> 00:41:58,906 You already lost one child, 847 00:41:59,024 --> 00:42:01,359 and you almost lost another one. 848 00:42:02,188 --> 00:42:05,490 So now, the price of my love 849 00:42:05,532 --> 00:42:07,152 has doubled, 850 00:42:07,356 --> 00:42:10,193 and I demand to see it immediately. 851 00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:13,658 Are you fucking kidding me? Immediately! 852 00:42:19,706 --> 00:42:21,518 Summer 853 00:42:21,878 --> 00:42:24,060 felt like winter... 854 00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:27,422 How could you do that without talking to me first? 855 00:42:27,464 --> 00:42:29,216 What? Yes. 856 00:42:32,969 --> 00:42:34,679 What were you thinking? 857 00:42:34,721 --> 00:42:37,182 Someone had to do it. 858 00:42:37,223 --> 00:42:39,184 You're insane. 859 00:42:39,225 --> 00:42:41,853 We could have paid her off. This would all be over. 860 00:42:41,895 --> 00:42:43,813 Don't be so naive. 861 00:42:43,855 --> 00:42:46,066 She would have just come back for more. 862 00:42:48,068 --> 00:42:51,696 Hey, Sheriff. Never meet your heroes, right? 863 00:42:54,115 --> 00:42:56,659 You spend years planning your wife's murder 864 00:42:56,701 --> 00:42:59,496 to get shafted by a fucking day player. 865 00:42:59,537 --> 00:43:01,456 I will shove that peanut butter 866 00:43:01,498 --> 00:43:05,210 down that Juilliard bitch's throat if I have to. 867 00:43:05,251 --> 00:43:07,712 No. Okay, look, that's it. 868 00:43:07,754 --> 00:43:09,631 We're going to pay her off, alright. 869 00:43:09,673 --> 00:43:11,216 I'm going to call my business manager. 870 00:43:11,257 --> 00:43:13,385 He is going to have a fit. 871 00:43:13,426 --> 00:43:16,388 Michael, what the fuck is that? 872 00:43:16,429 --> 00:43:17,764 What? 873 00:43:18,890 --> 00:43:20,475 What in the hell? 874 00:43:23,436 --> 00:43:26,147 Shit. 875 00:43:32,612 --> 00:43:34,531 We're fucked. 876 00:43:34,572 --> 00:43:36,533 They heard everything. 877 00:43:38,284 --> 00:43:39,786 What do I do now? 878 00:43:43,456 --> 00:43:44,791 We use it. 879 00:43:46,209 --> 00:43:47,711 Showtime, baby. 880 00:43:51,798 --> 00:43:54,592 I used to wait for that parade every year. 881 00:43:55,260 --> 00:43:56,970 Independence Day. 882 00:43:58,346 --> 00:44:01,182 For who? From what? 883 00:44:01,224 --> 00:44:04,477 Bobby's real daddy went down over the Sea of Japan. 884 00:44:05,562 --> 00:44:08,189 July 12th, 1952. 885 00:44:09,649 --> 00:44:11,234 An aviator. 886 00:44:12,652 --> 00:44:15,488 Why did you take Bobby? 887 00:44:15,530 --> 00:44:18,366 He was better than me in every way! 888 00:44:20,118 --> 00:44:23,621 It was cold in Pensacola that winter. 889 00:44:24,497 --> 00:44:26,666 Unnatural cold. 890 00:44:26,708 --> 00:44:29,461 Frost that comes too early 891 00:44:29,502 --> 00:44:31,963 means to stay too long, 892 00:44:32,005 --> 00:44:33,465 maybe forever. 893 00:44:33,506 --> 00:44:36,051 The mists rise up. 894 00:44:36,092 --> 00:44:39,679 They cover your ankles, then your waist. 895 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:44,559 The sea longs to reach the clouds. 896 00:44:46,186 --> 00:44:49,814 Mother and child reachin' out for each other. 897 00:44:49,856 --> 00:44:52,525 When my sweet Bobby went up... 898 00:44:53,693 --> 00:44:56,363 he always took me with him. 899 00:44:56,404 --> 00:44:58,907 And so it follows that that day, 900 00:45:00,033 --> 00:45:01,659 I, too, went down. 901 00:45:03,370 --> 00:45:05,580 That cold winter. 902 00:45:07,332 --> 00:45:09,459 This winter. 903 00:45:09,501 --> 00:45:12,170 The mists up to the lashline. 904 00:45:13,546 --> 00:45:16,629 Ice on the wing is mist on the ground, 905 00:45:16,671 --> 00:45:18,115 is tears. 906 00:45:18,593 --> 00:45:20,654 The mist rises up, 907 00:45:20,685 --> 00:45:23,146 and I kneel down to meet it. 908 00:45:26,267 --> 00:45:29,270 And so now I too become 909 00:45:30,237 --> 00:45:31,947 just another ghost... 910 00:45:37,737 --> 00:45:39,197 of Pensacola. 911 00:45:42,534 --> 00:45:43,926 Bravo! 912 00:45:45,014 --> 00:45:46,398 Bravo! 913 00:45:46,494 --> 00:45:51,402 CREDITS