1
00:00:01,260 --> 00:00:03,230
I actually prepared
a statement back then.

2
00:00:03,260 --> 00:00:04,588
Did you? Why?

3
00:00:04,619 --> 00:00:06,299
Well, I wanted to get across our side.

4
00:00:07,390 --> 00:00:09,021
Did it have a title?

5
00:00:09,205 --> 00:00:11,175
Do statements usually have titles?

6
00:00:11,206 --> 00:00:13,345
Yeah. I think
well-structured ones do, yeah.

7
00:00:14,029 --> 00:00:15,677
"Antagonists".

8
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,217
Bit nebulous.

9
00:00:17,287 --> 00:00:19,230
- It was evocative.
- Bit open to interpretation.

10
00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:21,152
- It wouldn't have been if you'd read it.
- I don't think a statement

11
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,150
should invite subjective responses.

12
00:00:23,204 --> 00:00:24,754
- It didn't.
- It's not a Robert Frost poem.

13
00:00:24,785 --> 00:00:26,086
- Did you write a statement?
- No.

14
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,549
Well, then, shut the fuck up.

15
00:00:29,788 --> 00:00:31,820
What does the title refer to?

16
00:00:32,086 --> 00:00:33,231
Simon!

17
00:00:34,814 --> 00:00:37,230
No, that would never have occurred to me.

18
00:00:37,459 --> 00:00:38,772
It would if you'd read it.

19
00:00:38,803 --> 00:00:40,534
Georgia says you're my antagonist.

20
00:00:40,636 --> 00:00:42,419
That would make you the hero.

21
00:00:42,474 --> 00:00:43,924
- Am I not?
- Pfft! No.

22
00:00:43,971 --> 00:00:45,733
- I see.
- You're the damsel in the tower.

23
00:00:45,763 --> 00:00:47,314
Should never have cut my hair.

24
00:00:47,344 --> 00:00:49,230
Or the damsel in the bungalow.

25
00:00:49,260 --> 00:00:51,531
Georgia says we're like
an old married couple.

26
00:00:52,041 --> 00:00:53,300
You are!

27
00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:58,132
- No, not me and Georgia, you and me.
- Right.

28
00:00:58,203 --> 00:00:59,589
Who's the big spoon?

29
00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:00,723
- Me.
- Me.

30
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,230
I should have left you
in the fucking tower.

31
00:01:03,424 --> 00:01:05,940
- Bungalow.
- I'm going to read...

32
00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:09,941
the statement that I prepared back then.

33
00:01:09,971 --> 00:01:11,620
Excellent. Be my guest.

34
00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:18,367
"Simon has left Series Three."

35
00:01:18,488 --> 00:01:24,375
www.subtitulamos.tv

36
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:27,387
I've got to go.
I've got to put the lunch on, Simon.

37
00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:30,762
So if we haven't got it by now, too bad.

38
00:01:30,792 --> 00:01:34,038
I know he's a grumpy bastard, Simon,
but he does have a point.

39
00:01:34,991 --> 00:01:36,961
Why did he leave?

40
00:01:38,538 --> 00:01:40,919
He'd had enough. I think.

41
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:44,230
He'd written two in a rush.

42
00:01:44,421 --> 00:01:47,230
It was high stress, high stakes,

43
00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:49,926
and, look, he's never been good at...

44
00:01:50,158 --> 00:01:52,648
Simon is not a confrontational person,

45
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:56,511
so when Michael stormed off,
then David followed...

46
00:01:58,126 --> 00:02:00,096
it's not good for his self-esteem.

47
00:02:00,176 --> 00:02:02,392
He bruises like an avocado.

48
00:02:02,619 --> 00:02:05,117
But we still owe Josh a series. Erm...

49
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,389
We had Simon's notes from the, erm...

50
00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:11,156
from the rest of the episode. Nothing...

51
00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:13,917
Nothing definitive, just more like...

52
00:02:14,185 --> 00:02:16,771
abstract poetry than a script.

53
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,167
Yeah.

54
00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:21,030
He wasn't in a very happy place.

55
00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:22,258
_

56
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,929
What's he written underneath?

57
00:02:24,857 --> 00:02:26,507
"Buy new jumper."

58
00:02:26,607 --> 00:02:29,087
He killed off Michael a couple of times.

59
00:02:29,814 --> 00:02:32,784
It may or may not have
been a dream sequence.

60
00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:35,799
And there's an animatic
at the bottom of his notes too.

61
00:02:35,829 --> 00:02:38,808
Actually, if you flick through,

62
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,260
it shows a clown...

63
00:02:44,025 --> 00:02:45,515
digging a grave.

64
00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:48,977
Georgia's idea was for David
and Michael to finish the scripts.

65
00:02:49,007 --> 00:02:52,935
I had two options, deliver the show
or focus on the documentary.

66
00:02:53,031 --> 00:02:54,558
And did you have a preference?

67
00:02:54,688 --> 00:02:57,429
Well, it wasn't up to me,
so I didn't... I didn't have to.

68
00:02:58,187 --> 00:03:00,741
Josh wanted conflict and tortured souls,

69
00:03:00,771 --> 00:03:03,529
make-ups and break-ups,
food fights and explosions.

70
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:06,230
Either David and Michael
would write that into the script,

71
00:03:06,261 --> 00:03:08,880
or they would barrel into it in
real life with the cameras rolling.

72
00:03:09,571 --> 00:03:11,239
Our writers' room.

73
00:03:11,466 --> 00:03:13,854
So, you didn't have a preference?

74
00:03:14,579 --> 00:03:15,604
No.

75
00:03:15,749 --> 00:03:18,019
- Can you feel the magic?
- I can. It's coming.

76
00:03:18,049 --> 00:03:19,725
It's bubbling up, the magic.

77
00:03:19,756 --> 00:03:21,739
- Where are you gonna sit?
- Don't know if it's quite arrived yet.

78
00:03:22,211 --> 00:03:23,296
OK.

79
00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:24,972
It's hot in here.

80
00:03:25,002 --> 00:03:26,722
I did mess with the thermostat.

81
00:03:26,752 --> 00:03:28,475
I don't do very well in the heat.

82
00:03:29,599 --> 00:03:30,678
Got any coffee?

83
00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:33,510
And keep David up all night
with a faulty smoke alarm.

84
00:03:34,955 --> 00:03:37,230
OK, how many pages do we need?

85
00:03:37,393 --> 00:03:40,230
- About 30 or so?
- About 30. By when?

86
00:03:40,609 --> 00:03:42,533
Josh needs to see something by six.

87
00:03:42,563 --> 00:03:44,230
By six? Why so soon?

88
00:03:44,476 --> 00:03:46,901
Because we're a million miles
behind schedule.

89
00:03:46,931 --> 00:03:48,827
That gives us about eight hours.

90
00:03:48,857 --> 00:03:50,605
OK, 30 divided by eight.

91
00:03:50,941 --> 00:03:52,616
3.75.

92
00:03:52,647 --> 00:03:53,927
Well, let's call it four.

93
00:03:54,106 --> 00:03:55,348
Four pages an hour?

94
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,498
- Easy!
- Easy!

95
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:58,836
But that was everything.

96
00:04:00,054 --> 00:04:01,260
I think.

97
00:04:01,677 --> 00:04:03,430
- Who's that now?
- Georgia.

98
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,923
- Hi, baby.
- Can we just put phones away?

99
00:04:05,953 --> 00:04:08,474
Would you mind if...
you just leave us to it now?

100
00:04:08,504 --> 00:04:10,389
Michael's just throwing out the crew.

101
00:04:10,419 --> 00:04:11,714
Bye!

102
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,050
Focus down and do the work, sorry.

103
00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:16,514
- I've put you on speaker.
- Okay.

104
00:04:16,770 --> 00:04:18,880
You're on with me and Michael, Georgia.

105
00:04:18,919 --> 00:04:20,949
- Hi, Georgia.
- Hi, Michael.

106
00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:22,956
- It is all right with the room?
- Is there any coffee?

107
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,301
- I'll send some.
- It's a bit warm.

108
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,706
- Michael's a little bit warm.
- OK, is there a thermostat?

109
00:04:27,736 --> 00:04:29,519
Doesn't do well in the heat, you know.

110
00:04:29,805 --> 00:04:32,278
Yeah. It says it's out of order.

111
00:04:32,317 --> 00:04:33,916
- It's out of order.
- Right, I'll see what I can do.

112
00:04:33,979 --> 00:04:35,906
I don't do well in the heat, Georgia.

113
00:04:35,936 --> 00:04:38,424
Things can get a little bit swampy.

114
00:04:38,454 --> 00:04:40,230
I don't want to be
in the room with Michael

115
00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:42,011
when things get a bit swampy.

116
00:04:42,056 --> 00:04:45,026
- It might take a while, though.
- That's not really good enough...

117
00:04:45,057 --> 00:04:46,127
Hang on. Wait.

118
00:04:46,158 --> 00:04:49,060
- I think the window opens.
- Michael has located a window.

119
00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:51,230
Michael has opened a window.
Is that better?

120
00:04:51,778 --> 00:04:53,749
- It's much better.
- He says that's much better, yes.

121
00:04:53,791 --> 00:04:55,522
- Great.
- My God.

122
00:04:55,553 --> 00:04:58,334
I would have torn your husband
to shreds in seconds!

123
00:04:58,659 --> 00:05:00,413
Ho, ho, ho! Don't do that.

124
00:05:00,444 --> 00:05:02,931
All right, baby, it's time
to make the magic happen.

125
00:05:02,963 --> 00:05:04,453
- I'll speak to you later.
- All right.

126
00:05:04,484 --> 00:05:06,731
- Love you, bye!
- Love you, bye!

127
00:05:08,478 --> 00:05:10,448
- Right.
- OK.

128
00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:11,910
Here we go.

129
00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:15,521
- Phones down, camera crew out.
- Yeah.

130
00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:18,620
New note.

131
00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:22,711
- This is it.
- This is it.

132
00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:27,420
Where do we start?

133
00:05:31,729 --> 00:05:34,230
I wanted them to succeed. Honestly.

134
00:05:34,579 --> 00:05:36,310
Everything else was just...

135
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:38,367
a backup plan.

136
00:05:38,407 --> 00:05:40,230
- I've got Simon's notes
- Great.

137
00:05:40,260 --> 00:05:42,685
- Yes. On an email. Hang on.
- OK. Anything useful?

138
00:05:43,663 --> 00:05:46,863
I mean, there's words and phrases.
There's the odd back-and-forth.

139
00:05:46,908 --> 00:05:49,966
Yeah? Well, what's the overall gist?

140
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,722
Constipated rage.

141
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,887
Right. When did he write them?

142
00:05:54,967 --> 00:05:56,361
While we were filming.

143
00:05:56,744 --> 00:05:57,882
Right.

144
00:06:00,119 --> 00:06:02,918
Do you think Simon's an angry person?

145
00:06:04,284 --> 00:06:05,556
No. I dunno.

146
00:06:05,924 --> 00:06:07,002
Maybe.

147
00:06:07,142 --> 00:06:09,867
I mean,
he can bend a spoon with his mind.

148
00:06:10,798 --> 00:06:12,798
I think that's just a party trick.

149
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:15,356
Yeah, of course, yeah. Yeah.

150
00:06:17,757 --> 00:06:19,531
Do you think he's angry with us?

151
00:06:19,664 --> 00:06:21,230
Difficult to tell.

152
00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:23,105
Well, do we appear in the notes?

153
00:06:23,136 --> 00:06:25,602
Right, well, he uses quite
a lot of pseudonyms.

154
00:06:25,632 --> 00:06:26,900
OK. Like what?

155
00:06:26,931 --> 00:06:28,821
Big Head and The Baby.

156
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:31,070
That could be anyone.

157
00:06:31,103 --> 00:06:33,163
Beanpole and Beanbag.

158
00:06:33,844 --> 00:06:35,540
It's still ambiguous.

159
00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:37,629
- Michael and David.
- Right, OK.

160
00:06:39,496 --> 00:06:41,294
"Michael's kitchen. Dawn.

161
00:06:41,324 --> 00:06:43,421
"Michael stares forlornly
out of the window.

162
00:06:43,451 --> 00:06:46,805
"In one hand, a photo of David,
in the other, a knitting needle."

163
00:06:47,618 --> 00:06:49,091
Do you knit?

164
00:06:49,588 --> 00:06:51,447
Never have. Nor Anna.

165
00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:55,230
"He sits at his table, lines up
the tip of the needle with his eye.

166
00:06:55,260 --> 00:06:58,064
"He stares at the photo of David,
leans his head back,

167
00:06:58,094 --> 00:06:59,940
"then, with force..."

168
00:07:00,726 --> 00:07:02,460
"Then with force" what?

169
00:07:03,885 --> 00:07:05,855
Nothing. It just ends there.

170
00:07:06,586 --> 00:07:09,520
Next thing is... "Plain
jumper or striped?"

171
00:07:10,018 --> 00:07:12,787
Am I examining the knitting needle?

172
00:07:13,111 --> 00:07:14,631
With force?

173
00:07:16,260 --> 00:07:18,311
Why have I got a photo of you?

174
00:07:18,697 --> 00:07:20,697
Maybe you're knitting me a jumper?

175
00:07:24,658 --> 00:07:26,462
- God.
- Wow.

176
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:30,100
The drill was nothing to do
with me. Honestly.

177
00:07:33,056 --> 00:07:35,808
It was just the heat,
the smoke alarm and the menus.

178
00:07:37,619 --> 00:07:39,619
Did I mention the menus?

179
00:07:48,064 --> 00:07:49,236
What happened?

180
00:07:49,487 --> 00:07:50,918
Well, the drilling stopped.

181
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,575
- How long was I out?
- A couple of hours.

182
00:07:53,769 --> 00:07:55,430
Why didn't you awaken me?

183
00:07:55,460 --> 00:07:57,270
Well, you looked very peaceful.

184
00:07:58,249 --> 00:07:59,685
God, I'm hungry.

185
00:07:59,716 --> 00:08:02,230
Yeah. I stuck some menus to your jumper.

186
00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:04,440
- Where did you find these?
- In the drawer.

187
00:08:05,703 --> 00:08:08,230
I dreamt I was inside a food processor.

188
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:10,798
I envy your capacity to rest.

189
00:08:10,828 --> 00:08:12,975
Well, I'm from the city.

190
00:08:13,005 --> 00:08:15,230
Peace and tranquillity
is what disturbs me.

191
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:17,230
- How you getting on?
- I've made a start.

192
00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,973
OK. That's good. Let's have a see.

193
00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:21,998
"Enter Michael."

194
00:08:22,029 --> 00:08:23,999
- Good start.
- Give the people what they want.

195
00:08:24,041 --> 00:08:24,863
Yeah.

196
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,051
"David is asleep."

197
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:29,791
And that was it?

198
00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:31,383
Yeah, well, it was
difficult to get started.

199
00:08:31,422 --> 00:08:32,797
- You've got to SAY something.
- I know that.

200
00:08:32,827 --> 00:08:34,261
- That's what makes it into a scene.
- I know.

201
00:08:34,291 --> 00:08:36,936
- But I wouldn't want to wake you up.
- Why did you write me asleep?

202
00:08:36,966 --> 00:08:38,827
It's all I could think of.
You looked so peaceful.

203
00:08:38,858 --> 00:08:40,408
Come on. Let's go.

204
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,016
"David wakes.

205
00:08:44,361 --> 00:08:46,166
"Morning!"

206
00:08:46,384 --> 00:08:48,229
- Why don't you go back to sleep?
- No!

207
00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:49,269
I think I'm hungry.

208
00:08:49,298 --> 00:08:51,856
We just need the first couple of
lines, just to loosen the lid.

209
00:08:51,887 --> 00:08:53,430
What time is it?

210
00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:55,391
One o'clock. Five hours left.

211
00:08:55,421 --> 00:08:57,480
OK, so, what? Six pages an hour...

212
00:08:57,543 --> 00:08:58,608
- Easy!
- Easy!

213
00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:00,599
- I'm gonna order lunch.
- Yes!

214
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:03,447
Hello. Can I order some food, please?

215
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:04,733
Yeah, what's the address?

216
00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:08,775
ONSIGHT, Covent Garden?

217
00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:10,006
What can I get you?

218
00:09:11,234 --> 00:09:13,469
Some Kung Pao chicken.

219
00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:16,066
Duck rolls.

220
00:09:16,397 --> 00:09:19,847
Egg fried rice and prawn crackers?

221
00:09:19,877 --> 00:09:21,558
- Anything else?
- No, I'm all right.

222
00:09:21,589 --> 00:09:24,230
- Thanks. On its way. - And please
don't forget the prawn crackers.

223
00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:26,230
Sounded like Georgia.

224
00:09:26,260 --> 00:09:27,886
No, it's the woman in the Chinese.

225
00:09:27,916 --> 00:09:29,875
Why the prawn cracker insistence?

226
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:31,528
Well, I like the way they fizz.

227
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:32,803
OK, how about this?

228
00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:35,123
"The industry is like the Serengeti,

229
00:09:35,136 --> 00:09:36,496
"and I am a lion.

230
00:09:36,599 --> 00:09:39,350
"Michael is a monkey,
a monkey with a stick."

231
00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:41,913
No, I don't think that's right.

232
00:09:41,944 --> 00:09:44,547
- Too dramatic?
- Simon usually has us starting

233
00:09:44,571 --> 00:09:46,358
with something low-key and inane.

234
00:09:46,421 --> 00:09:48,270
All right, what about
one of us has a hobby

235
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,210
that we've never mentioned before?

236
00:09:50,273 --> 00:09:52,323
- Like what?
- I could dig something up.

237
00:09:52,354 --> 00:09:53,727
We don't have that sort of time.

238
00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:55,333
- I could make something up.
- Like what?

239
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:56,964
Knitting.

240
00:09:57,341 --> 00:10:00,013
- A brass instrument.
- OK, let's take a step back.

241
00:10:02,891 --> 00:10:04,190
Where are we?

242
00:10:04,214 --> 00:10:05,835
Let's just
stick with character, shall we?

243
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,460
- Yeah, yeah, we know them.
- We know them.

244
00:10:07,491 --> 00:10:08,915
- We know ourselves.
- Yes, we do.

245
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:11,971
OK. Hotseat. Hotseat! What motivates you?

246
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,055
Panic.

247
00:10:13,094 --> 00:10:15,851
- What inspires you?
- The rising of bread.

248
00:10:15,897 --> 00:10:17,701
- What are you afraid of?
- Magnets.

249
00:10:17,731 --> 00:10:19,328
What do you say
when you walk into the room?

250
00:10:19,358 --> 00:10:21,581
"The industry is like the Serengeti
and I am a lion!"

251
00:10:21,627 --> 00:10:23,459
- "Michael is a monkey..."
- No, no, no!

252
00:10:24,115 --> 00:10:25,176
Nearly.

253
00:10:25,260 --> 00:10:26,522
Nearly.

254
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,046
Do you think Simon WAS angry with us?

255
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:32,642
Well, more you than me.

256
00:10:32,979 --> 00:10:34,949
I didn't want him to leave.

257
00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:36,808
Well, you shouldn't have
stormed off, then.

258
00:10:36,839 --> 00:10:38,247
Shouldn't have been mean
about his writing.

259
00:10:38,278 --> 00:10:40,214
- You've called him worse.
- Not to his face.

260
00:10:40,245 --> 00:10:42,182
- Yes to his face.
- Yes to his face.

261
00:10:43,306 --> 00:10:45,019
Have you talked to him?

262
00:10:45,050 --> 00:10:46,021
No.

263
00:10:46,261 --> 00:10:48,230
Do you think we should call him?

264
00:10:48,675 --> 00:10:49,875
What for?

265
00:10:50,479 --> 00:10:51,725
I don't know.

266
00:10:52,495 --> 00:10:54,230
You know he's left the industry?

267
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,844
Really? What's he doing?

268
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,150
Fuck knows.

269
00:10:58,006 --> 00:10:59,318
For...

270
00:11:00,135 --> 00:11:01,395
Dentistry.

271
00:11:01,638 --> 00:11:03,588
Lucy said it's what their parents do.

272
00:11:03,690 --> 00:11:05,095
It's what our parents do.

273
00:11:05,173 --> 00:11:07,522
I think he just needed to be with family.

274
00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:09,738
He posted a picture of himself in scrubs,

275
00:11:09,768 --> 00:11:11,566
so he was cosplaying, at least.

276
00:11:13,709 --> 00:11:15,881
Will David and Michael...
are they going to see this?

277
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,756
- If it makes the cut.
- Great.

278
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,800
Happy?

279
00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:25,733
Er, yes. Right.

280
00:11:27,551 --> 00:11:29,518
- Yes. Yes.
- Great!

281
00:11:30,165 --> 00:11:31,246
Here we go.

282
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:36,501
Sorry, I thought...

283
00:11:36,664 --> 00:11:38,483
Georgia said you had
something you wanted to say?

284
00:11:38,513 --> 00:11:41,361
- Yeah. No, I do, I just thought...
- You have something you wanted to say?

285
00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:43,290
I do, I just thought you might set me up.

286
00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:45,491
- Okay. We're here to talk about
Series Three. - Series Three.

287
00:11:45,522 --> 00:11:47,963
And let me just start by
clearing the air, straight away.

288
00:11:48,384 --> 00:11:51,230
Er, I am not angry at anyone.

289
00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:53,768
I do not hold grudges. Never have.

290
00:11:53,799 --> 00:11:54,799
That sounds healthy.

291
00:11:54,854 --> 00:11:57,691
- Anger ignored is anger improved.
- Is that right?

292
00:11:57,730 --> 00:12:01,549
Look, nobody likes
conflict in the workplace.

293
00:12:01,779 --> 00:12:03,231
No-one likes to be criticised,

294
00:12:03,261 --> 00:12:06,191
especially when you feel
you tried really hard.

295
00:12:06,289 --> 00:12:07,996
And you think you've tried hard?

296
00:12:11,286 --> 00:12:12,328
Yeah.

297
00:12:12,390 --> 00:12:16,116
Well, when you've written 250 pages

298
00:12:16,159 --> 00:12:17,959
of those two at each other,

299
00:12:18,002 --> 00:12:21,396
it can be hard to come up
with new... material.

300
00:12:21,482 --> 00:12:22,706
So why do it?

301
00:12:23,429 --> 00:12:25,136
I needed to.

302
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:26,742
And now?

303
00:12:27,172 --> 00:12:28,937
Now I need to do something different.

304
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,076
- Dentistry?
- Yes.

305
00:12:32,116 --> 00:12:33,716
Doesn't this takes years?

306
00:12:33,976 --> 00:12:35,532
There's a slight shortcut,

307
00:12:35,563 --> 00:12:38,068
because my father and
mother are dentists, so...

308
00:12:38,197 --> 00:12:40,204
And do you think you have
a genetic predisposition?

309
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,323
Well, it says Dr Evans
on the door, doesn't it?

310
00:12:42,759 --> 00:12:44,673
This is you father's practice.

311
00:12:45,049 --> 00:12:46,934
- Is it?
- I googled it.

312
00:12:47,087 --> 00:12:50,784
Well, don't google anything
medical, would be the first thing.

313
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,618
Is that why we had to do
this one in a lunch-break?

314
00:12:54,299 --> 00:12:55,440
Hi, hi.

315
00:12:55,471 --> 00:12:56,863
Can you back on reception...

316
00:12:56,983 --> 00:13:00,122
- and leave the balloons.
- Yes. Yes, I will. I will.

317
00:13:01,271 --> 00:13:03,321
- Was that your father?
- Yeah.

318
00:13:04,063 --> 00:13:06,194
Dentists don't wear stethoscopes.

319
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,439
How else do they take temperature?

320
00:13:23,748 --> 00:13:26,451
Of course, I could have
got Simon to come back,

321
00:13:26,482 --> 00:13:29,034
but there didn't seem to be
much point, to be honest.

322
00:13:29,064 --> 00:13:31,093
David and Michael seemed
to be getting somewhere.

323
00:13:31,466 --> 00:13:33,776
You know, pressure
turns coal into diamonds.

324
00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:42,002
What time is it?

325
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,388
It's nearly four.

326
00:13:45,797 --> 00:13:47,750
Urgh. Pfft. 15 pages an hour?

327
00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:49,230
- Easy!
- Eas...

328
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:50,479
God!

329
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,367
Where's our lunch?

330
00:13:56,951 --> 00:13:58,421
I don't know. Did you call?

331
00:13:58,451 --> 00:14:00,904
- You heard me call!
- Ah, yeah.

332
00:14:01,533 --> 00:14:03,385
The prawn cracker insistence.

333
00:14:03,421 --> 00:14:04,887
Sounds like a Robert Ludlum novel.

334
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:12,092
Have you seen The Trip?

335
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:15,117
- The Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan thing?
- Yeah.

336
00:14:15,147 --> 00:14:17,230
Yeah, well,
we basically copied their formula.

337
00:14:17,522 --> 00:14:20,852
I mean, we could just copy
and paste bits of their script

338
00:14:20,882 --> 00:14:22,750
and change the lines a bit.
No one would know.

339
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,069
- Everybody would know!
- Why are you so testy?

340
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:27,878
- I'm too hot!
- Well, go back to the window again!

341
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:29,439
- I don't want to!
- Why not?

342
00:14:29,470 --> 00:14:31,282
Because I'm deafened by the drill!

343
00:14:31,322 --> 00:14:32,562
Argh!

344
00:14:37,775 --> 00:14:40,490
- Georgia says...
- You know, you say that a lot.

345
00:14:41,188 --> 00:14:42,861
"Georgia says."

346
00:14:43,945 --> 00:14:46,917
Well, she does,
she says that you criticise me

347
00:14:46,947 --> 00:14:48,420
to cover up your own insecurities.

348
00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:50,285
Does she? She says to me

349
00:14:50,316 --> 00:14:53,528
that you dress up your thoughts
as hers in conversation

350
00:14:53,558 --> 00:14:55,059
to cover YOUR insecurities.

351
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,388
- Does she?
- Yes, she does.

352
00:14:56,419 --> 00:14:58,426
- Well, I'm not insecure.
- Neither am I.

353
00:14:58,456 --> 00:15:01,444
- I am over six foot tall!
- I am brimming with testosterone!

354
00:15:01,474 --> 00:15:04,230
I'm starting to feel that you're
angry with me about something!

355
00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:06,260
- Why do you think that?!
- I don't know!

356
00:15:12,938 --> 00:15:14,564
Have I done something?

357
00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,604
- I'm just hungry.
- Well, I'm tired.

358
00:15:16,634 --> 00:15:18,337
- And I don't like writing.
- No, neither do I.

359
00:15:18,368 --> 00:15:20,108
- I thought it would be easier.
- Yeah.

360
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,415
If Simon can do it...

361
00:15:21,444 --> 00:15:23,018
And I've read lots of other scripts.

362
00:15:23,049 --> 00:15:25,290
I thought I would have
picked up the basics

363
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,704
kind of by osmosis, you know.

364
00:15:27,791 --> 00:15:30,577
So why did you say you
wanted to write it?

365
00:15:31,632 --> 00:15:33,708
I didn't say that, you did.

366
00:15:34,221 --> 00:15:35,192
I did?

367
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:37,003
- Didn't you?
- I didn't.

368
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:39,443
The I before E rule
completely baffles me.

369
00:15:39,473 --> 00:15:41,590
I get mixed up with
the A and the E in my own name.

370
00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:43,230
You wanted to write it!

371
00:15:43,259 --> 00:15:45,069
No, YOU wanted to write it!

372
00:15:45,148 --> 00:15:47,051
- Says who?!
- Georgia!

373
00:15:54,260 --> 00:15:56,064
Lookie here.

374
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,188
Hi.

375
00:15:58,353 --> 00:16:00,523
Hi! Just checking in.

376
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,151
How's it all going?

377
00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:05,590
- Well, the drilling's very loud.
- And we're hot.

378
00:16:05,619 --> 00:16:07,564
- I'm tired.
- I'm very hungry.

379
00:16:07,595 --> 00:16:10,416
- That sounds stressful.
- It is. Very stressful.

380
00:16:10,446 --> 00:16:12,706
Well, I'm sorry to add to your troubles,

381
00:16:12,736 --> 00:16:16,260
but, erm, there's talk
of rolling blackouts too.

382
00:16:19,392 --> 00:16:20,763
Georgia,

383
00:16:21,287 --> 00:16:24,765
did you tell both of us that the
other one wanted to write this?

384
00:16:27,517 --> 00:16:28,982
Did you?

385
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,537
Yeah.

386
00:16:31,688 --> 00:16:32,931
Wha...

387
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:35,624
Why?!

388
00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:37,632
I just wanted you working together.

389
00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:39,230
I just thought
it would make good television.

390
00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:40,866
We're not writers!

391
00:16:40,896 --> 00:16:43,230
I didn't need you to be writers.
Not necessarily.

392
00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:44,841
People just like to watch you tussle.

393
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:47,940
- I'm sorry. What? Tussle?
- Fight.

394
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,820
- This was for the documentary.
- What?

395
00:16:52,867 --> 00:16:54,231
The Making Of thing.

396
00:16:54,261 --> 00:16:56,438
Look, if you'd written a script,
then great.

397
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,489
And, you know, if not,
at least we had something.

398
00:16:58,520 --> 00:16:59,650
We're not...!

399
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,413
We're not bullfighters.

400
00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:02,902
Ha! I know you're not bullfighters.

401
00:17:02,933 --> 00:17:04,362
- We could be bullfighters.
- We could.

402
00:17:04,393 --> 00:17:06,044
You're like a modern-day cockfight.

403
00:17:06,198 --> 00:17:09,167
You know, the scrawny birds
sort of squawking at each other.

404
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,993
Beanbag and Beanpole.

405
00:17:11,995 --> 00:17:13,951
Beanbag and Beanpole were us!

406
00:17:14,561 --> 00:17:17,317
It was you! It was you
at the Chinese on the phone!

407
00:17:17,347 --> 00:17:19,553
- What?
- And what about the noise

408
00:17:19,632 --> 00:17:20,900
and the heat?

409
00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:21,964
I don't understand.

410
00:17:21,995 --> 00:17:25,059
She's been keeping us hungry! And hot!

411
00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:27,064
And tired, and deaf.

412
00:17:27,095 --> 00:17:29,095
Why are you working
at a Chinese restaurant?

413
00:17:35,807 --> 00:17:38,807
OK, OK. I give up, I give up.

414
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:43,127
Get someone else to write it!

415
00:17:55,966 --> 00:17:57,457
Yes, hi Lucy. Where is he?

416
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,591
- Thanks for coming. Were you nearby?
- No.

417
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,614
Sorry. Georgia said it was urgent.

418
00:18:08,645 --> 00:18:09,978
What exactly do we need?

419
00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:12,835
You're going in there and getting him,
and... we're going to follow you.

420
00:18:13,424 --> 00:18:14,741
Simon?

421
00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:20,099
He might be upstairs. Simon!

422
00:18:27,009 --> 00:18:28,350
Really, just...

423
00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:31,600
Maybe put...

424
00:18:31,905 --> 00:18:34,416
some rubber bands around it or...

425
00:18:35,123 --> 00:18:36,845
some Scotch tape.

426
00:18:39,157 --> 00:18:42,165
Just hold it there until the
pain goes and call me...

427
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,592
back.

428
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:50,260
- Root canal.
- You're speaking into a television remote.

429
00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:53,871
- They need you back on the show.
- Who does?

430
00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:55,726
Georgia. She sent me to get you.

431
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,029
Why didn't she come herself?

432
00:18:57,692 --> 00:18:59,681
Her and David are having
a heated conversation,

433
00:18:59,712 --> 00:19:02,891
something about smoke
alarms and bullfighters.

434
00:19:03,166 --> 00:19:04,834
I'm a dentist now.

435
00:19:05,221 --> 00:19:06,875
I don't think you are.

436
00:19:07,436 --> 00:19:08,407
No.

437
00:19:08,478 --> 00:19:10,230
No. What's all this?

438
00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:12,828
Well, I was trying
to find something to do.

439
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:17,314
You know, palmistry is an option, or...
or gardening.

440
00:19:17,345 --> 00:19:19,891
I can write songs, or... or...

441
00:19:20,111 --> 00:19:21,937
could be a university professor.

442
00:19:22,111 --> 00:19:24,081
- What do you want to do?
- I want to write.

443
00:19:24,173 --> 00:19:25,511
Well, then, come back and do that.

444
00:19:25,542 --> 00:19:28,208
I can't, though, can I? I tried. Really.

445
00:19:28,981 --> 00:19:31,230
I tried to do something new,
something different.

446
00:19:31,260 --> 00:19:32,539
I put David in Japan,

447
00:19:32,570 --> 00:19:35,709
I put Michael and David in a...
in a farce.

448
00:19:35,756 --> 00:19:38,436
I tried... No-one seemed to notice.

449
00:19:39,431 --> 00:19:41,951
- Then Michael left.
- Michael wants you back.

450
00:19:42,971 --> 00:19:44,357
What about David?

451
00:19:44,599 --> 00:19:46,166
He wants you back too.

452
00:19:53,671 --> 00:19:55,594
Sorry it took me so long to reach out.

453
00:19:55,624 --> 00:19:56,990
Sorry I was stupid.

454
00:19:57,466 --> 00:19:59,546
Ha! You're here now.
Just need to get it written.

455
00:20:00,264 --> 00:20:01,878
So, the guys are in here.

456
00:20:02,171 --> 00:20:04,347
So, if you want to...

457
00:20:04,502 --> 00:20:06,179
If you want to knock.

458
00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:17,590
Simon!

459
00:20:17,894 --> 00:20:20,053
There's a sight for sore eyes!

460
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:23,166
- I brought balloons.
- I mean, I fucking love balloons.

461
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:24,260
And food.

462
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:29,659
Simon...

463
00:20:31,103 --> 00:20:33,219
I know there's making up to do,

464
00:20:33,553 --> 00:20:35,793
and a lot of apologies needed.

465
00:20:37,455 --> 00:20:38,946
But you,

466
00:20:39,127 --> 00:20:40,260
this...

467
00:20:41,029 --> 00:20:42,159
food.

468
00:20:42,662 --> 00:20:43,909
Here.

469
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,260
Now.

470
00:20:48,908 --> 00:20:50,868
OK. All right.

471
00:20:50,899 --> 00:20:52,869
Listen, Simon's here all night,

472
00:20:52,916 --> 00:20:55,172
the heating is fixed
and the drills have stopped.

473
00:20:55,203 --> 00:20:57,102
- And we have food!
- And you have food.

474
00:20:57,150 --> 00:20:59,429
- And thanks to Simon.
- Thanks to me.

475
00:21:00,587 --> 00:21:02,557
OK, right, can you, erm...

476
00:21:02,869 --> 00:21:05,839
get me something by morning, OK?
I'm off now.

477
00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:08,338
It was the responsible choice,

478
00:21:08,494 --> 00:21:11,007
getting Simon back. Getting
the script written.

479
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,799
The documentary was always the backup.

480
00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:15,789
Is this the whole order?

481
00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:18,587
OK, this is a good... a good start.

482
00:21:18,954 --> 00:21:20,230
Simon?

483
00:21:20,260 --> 00:21:23,838
Just needs a bit of polish, I suppose.

484
00:21:24,464 --> 00:21:26,225
Where's the prawn crackers?

485
00:21:29,942 --> 00:21:31,749
Where's the prawn crackers?

486
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,971
Conflict and tortured souls,

487
00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:41,135
make-ups and break-ups,

488
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,397
food fights and explosions.

489
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,847
_

490
00:21:45,884 --> 00:21:48,837
"Simon has left Series Three.

491
00:21:49,859 --> 00:21:52,490
"David and I are devastated.

492
00:21:53,267 --> 00:21:56,970
"It's one thing to have to move
on without a trusted colleague

493
00:21:57,033 --> 00:21:59,117
"and creative powerhouse.

494
00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:02,947
"It's another
to continue without a friend.

495
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:06,785
"Simon is a precious person,

496
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:11,188
"and we wish him all the best
in his future career."

497
00:22:12,001 --> 00:22:14,181
- Lovely. That's lovely.
- Thank you.

498
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,230
- Did you ever release that?
- God, no.

499
00:22:17,260 --> 00:22:22,260
www.subtitulamos.tv