1 00:00:00,869 --> 00:00:02,737 She's coming in hot. She's The Mick. 2 00:00:02,771 --> 00:00:04,873 - Yaah! - I just built that. 3 00:00:04,906 --> 00:00:06,107 It didn't take. 4 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,776 Catch all-new episodes Tuesdays. 5 00:00:07,809 --> 00:00:10,211 And check out our other Fox programs... Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 6 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,080 The Last Man on Earth and Ghosted. 7 00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,248 I don't really know how to do any of this stuff. 8 00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:15,449 Only on Fox. 9 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,054 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 10 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,192 - (PHONE BEEPS) - Hey! 11 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,094 Ah, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this? 12 00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,462 They want to talk to you about my behavior. 13 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,799 Bye, Miss Crandall. 14 00:00:30,922 --> 00:00:33,524 I'm Mr. Reissman. I'm the school counselor. 15 00:00:33,557 --> 00:00:35,293 We really wanted to talk to you... 16 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,128 About Ben's behavior. I know, the kid just filled me in. 17 00:00:37,161 --> 00:00:39,330 Ben has always been one of my favorite students. 18 00:00:39,363 --> 00:00:40,831 He's so sweet. 19 00:00:40,865 --> 00:00:43,634 But lately he's become a bit dark. 20 00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:46,504 He spends most of his recesses in the classroom, 21 00:00:46,537 --> 00:00:49,640 just sitting there, staring at me. 22 00:00:49,673 --> 00:00:51,175 Yeah, well, maybe he values learning 23 00:00:51,209 --> 00:00:52,710 more than eating boogers on the slide. 24 00:00:52,743 --> 00:00:54,678 He's doing it right now. 25 00:00:57,081 --> 00:00:58,883 So the kid does a little light peering, so what? 26 00:00:58,917 --> 00:01:00,384 Today, Ben bit me. 27 00:01:00,418 --> 00:01:01,519 Okay, also some light biting. 28 00:01:01,552 --> 00:01:03,187 Wha... wha... what's the big deal? 29 00:01:03,221 --> 00:01:05,523 Mr. Reissman would like to recommend to Ben's doctor 30 00:01:05,556 --> 00:01:08,826 that he be placed on 40 milligrams of ADHD medication. 31 00:01:08,859 --> 00:01:10,361 Is that so? 32 00:01:10,394 --> 00:01:13,331 Oh! Okay, no. No, thank you. 33 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,833 Focusing Ben on his schoolwork would have a tremendous impact 34 00:01:15,866 --> 00:01:17,035 on his overall demeanor. 35 00:01:17,068 --> 00:01:18,602 Mm-hmm. And why do your job 36 00:01:18,636 --> 00:01:20,404 when you can have a pill do it for you... am I right? 37 00:01:20,438 --> 00:01:21,772 Let me explain something to you. 38 00:01:21,805 --> 00:01:23,574 Ben's mind is as pure as his heart. 39 00:01:23,607 --> 00:01:25,109 And as long as I am around, 40 00:01:25,143 --> 00:01:27,511 there will not be a drop of medication in his body. 41 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,380 Ever. End of story. 42 00:01:29,413 --> 00:01:31,115 Ben's already on the medication. 43 00:01:31,149 --> 00:01:33,351 We're just suggesting he up his dosage. 44 00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:36,587 We'd just hate to see Ben slip through the cracks. 45 00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:39,347 He hasn't even started his project for this weekend's 46 00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:41,215 Lockwood Little Inventors Fair. 47 00:01:41,249 --> 00:01:42,883 Other students have been working 48 00:01:42,916 --> 00:01:45,019 on their inventions for months now. 49 00:01:45,053 --> 00:01:46,787 Well, speaking of slipping through the cracks, 50 00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:48,389 kind of looks like that shirt slipped through the cracks 51 00:01:48,422 --> 00:01:49,890 of your laundry basket. 52 00:01:49,923 --> 00:01:51,392 Oh. (LAUGHS) 53 00:01:51,425 --> 00:01:53,061 Well, I guess years of writing on white boards 54 00:01:53,094 --> 00:01:54,862 takes its toll on the wardrobe. 55 00:01:54,895 --> 00:01:56,530 (LAUGHS) Yeah, yeah. Good story. 56 00:01:56,564 --> 00:01:57,998 I'm gonna take care of Ben. 57 00:01:58,032 --> 00:02:00,334 And I'm gonna do it with some good old-fashioned 58 00:02:00,368 --> 00:02:02,203 hands-on parenting. 59 00:02:02,236 --> 00:02:03,737 Sorry, Big Pharma. 60 00:02:14,515 --> 00:02:17,318 Sorry I'm late. I thought I was being followed. 61 00:02:17,351 --> 00:02:19,520 Ended up just being a bunch of hella cute baby birds. 62 00:02:19,553 --> 00:02:22,590 Okay, official Acorn Boys meeting number 682 63 00:02:22,623 --> 00:02:23,924 coming to order. 64 00:02:23,957 --> 00:02:25,993 Secretary Joshua Feldstein presiding. 65 00:02:26,026 --> 00:02:27,761 President Chip, old business, please. 66 00:02:27,795 --> 00:02:29,930 Okay, well, the possum behind the north wall 67 00:02:29,963 --> 00:02:31,365 is almost completely decomposed. 68 00:02:31,399 --> 00:02:33,767 Our plan to smoke oregano out of its skull 69 00:02:33,801 --> 00:02:35,169 will commence tomorrow. 70 00:02:35,203 --> 00:02:37,205 On to today's biz. What we got? 71 00:02:43,377 --> 00:02:46,380 Okay, decent haul. 72 00:02:46,414 --> 00:02:48,949 Not our best, not our worst. 73 00:02:48,982 --> 00:02:52,220 Off the top of my head, we could soak some tampons in gin 74 00:02:52,253 --> 00:02:53,387 and sit on 'em. 75 00:02:53,421 --> 00:02:54,788 I'm not doing that again. 76 00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:56,624 It's the same exact thing every weekend. 77 00:02:56,657 --> 00:02:59,193 He's right. This is kid stuff. 78 00:02:59,227 --> 00:03:00,294 Maybe it's time we put this whole 79 00:03:00,328 --> 00:03:01,795 Acorn Boys nonsense to bed. 80 00:03:01,829 --> 00:03:03,197 Am I dreaming right now? 81 00:03:03,231 --> 00:03:04,532 Because if I am, wake me up. 82 00:03:04,565 --> 00:03:05,899 This is a freakin' nightmare! 83 00:03:05,933 --> 00:03:07,101 We're Acorn Boys for life. 84 00:03:07,135 --> 00:03:08,269 We took an oath, remember? 85 00:03:08,302 --> 00:03:09,770 We all held hands and-and peed 86 00:03:09,803 --> 00:03:11,071 on that tree stump together. 87 00:03:11,105 --> 00:03:13,107 - We were ten. - An oath's an oath! 88 00:03:13,141 --> 00:03:16,110 Come on, Chip, you got to admit it's getting kind of stale. 89 00:03:16,144 --> 00:03:17,445 I mean, you've literally brought in tampons 90 00:03:17,478 --> 00:03:19,113 five weeks in a row. 91 00:03:19,147 --> 00:03:21,215 These are pads! They go on it, not in it. 92 00:03:21,249 --> 00:03:22,683 Shows what you know! 93 00:03:24,352 --> 00:03:28,889 I'm sorry. I apologize. 94 00:03:28,922 --> 00:03:30,758 The pads aren't that different from tampons. 95 00:03:30,791 --> 00:03:33,327 I can see that now. 96 00:03:33,361 --> 00:03:35,663 Doesn't mean we can't bounce back from this, right, boys? 97 00:03:35,696 --> 00:03:38,399 - How? - Well, tomorrow I'll bring in 98 00:03:38,432 --> 00:03:40,000 something so undeniably sick 99 00:03:40,033 --> 00:03:41,835 that you'll be embarrassed you ever brought up 100 00:03:41,869 --> 00:03:43,604 breaking up the ACBs. 101 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,343 Meeting adjourned. 102 00:03:49,377 --> 00:03:50,944 How could you guys not tell me about this? 103 00:03:50,978 --> 00:03:52,946 Well, Poodle was a big believer in popping pills. 104 00:03:52,980 --> 00:03:54,948 I've been giving them to him since he was four. 105 00:03:54,982 --> 00:03:58,286 Ben has been hopped up on drugs since he was four years old?! 106 00:03:58,319 --> 00:04:01,021 Relax, it's just medication. Lots of people take it. 107 00:04:01,054 --> 00:04:03,157 And you should be careful pulling him off so quickly. 108 00:04:03,191 --> 00:04:05,659 When they took me off lithium, I went full-on crazy. 109 00:04:05,693 --> 00:04:08,028 I would argue you were on lithium because you were crazy. 110 00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:10,264 Ben will be fine, all right. He's young. 111 00:04:10,298 --> 00:04:11,765 His mind's a little spring, he'll bounce right back. 112 00:04:11,799 --> 00:04:13,301 That's what I'm talking about. 113 00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:14,935 If that kid can handle what we've been through 114 00:04:14,968 --> 00:04:16,637 - in the last few months, he can handle anything. - Yeah. 115 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:18,772 Or maybe those pills are his last tether to sanity. 116 00:04:18,806 --> 00:04:21,842 - You ever think of that? - No pill is going to parent Ben. 117 00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:23,377 - That is our job. - Yeah, that's right. 118 00:04:23,411 --> 00:04:24,678 We are the pills. 119 00:04:24,712 --> 00:04:26,447 Can't wait to see that old bowl of soup 120 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,849 Crandall's face when he wins that stupid Inventors Fair, 121 00:04:28,882 --> 00:04:30,150 and he does it drug-free. 122 00:04:30,184 --> 00:04:32,320 Oh, yeah, and then shove it in her face 123 00:04:32,353 --> 00:04:34,054 - and show her, yeah, yeah... - Stupid four-eyed nerd. 124 00:04:34,087 --> 00:04:35,489 - She wear glasses? - She doesn't wear glasses, 125 00:04:35,523 --> 00:04:36,824 but I bet she's got some in her night table. 126 00:04:36,857 --> 00:04:37,825 Dollars to doughnuts, sleeps alone. 127 00:04:37,858 --> 00:04:39,227 Ah, stupid night nerd. 128 00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:41,128 Okay. Wow. Doesn't take much 129 00:04:41,161 --> 00:04:42,730 to get you two on a crusade, does it? 130 00:04:42,763 --> 00:04:43,764 - Barely anything. - Almost nothing. 131 00:04:47,401 --> 00:04:50,971 Okay, hands-on parenting, first attempt, take one. 132 00:04:51,004 --> 00:04:53,841 All right, Benghazi, hit me with an idea. 133 00:04:53,874 --> 00:04:56,844 A vest. I think Miss Crandall would really like a vest. 134 00:04:56,877 --> 00:05:00,648 Hmm, well, not that exciting, but, uh... 135 00:05:00,681 --> 00:05:02,182 how great does it really need to be? 136 00:05:02,216 --> 00:05:04,885 Uh, Mickey, I just looked up some past winners. 137 00:05:04,918 --> 00:05:07,154 MICKEY: "Toothbrush with toothpaste dispenser inside." 138 00:05:07,187 --> 00:05:09,089 "Self-watering plant pot"? 139 00:05:09,122 --> 00:05:11,091 That vest is gonna get smoked. 140 00:05:11,124 --> 00:05:13,427 Yeah, I think we're gonna have to dig 141 00:05:13,461 --> 00:05:15,095 a little deeper, bud... what else you got? 142 00:05:15,128 --> 00:05:17,265 Toilet pants! 143 00:05:18,366 --> 00:05:20,501 Toilet pants? 144 00:05:20,534 --> 00:05:23,237 His brain's all jacked up from quitting those meds cold turkey. 145 00:05:23,271 --> 00:05:25,573 He's used to being artificially stimulated. 146 00:05:25,606 --> 00:05:28,175 No. He just needs to dust off the cobwebs a little bit. 147 00:05:28,208 --> 00:05:30,411 Come on, buddy. Come on. Let's go get your mind right. 148 00:05:30,444 --> 00:05:32,346 I'm warning you, you're playing with fire. 149 00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:34,748 I'm warning you, stop warning me about stuff. 150 00:05:50,898 --> 00:05:52,633 Oh, God! 151 00:05:52,666 --> 00:05:54,067 Sniffing my undies, bro? 152 00:05:54,101 --> 00:05:55,636 No, I'm just looking for something, okay? 153 00:05:55,669 --> 00:05:57,137 Yeah, what kind of something? 154 00:05:57,170 --> 00:06:00,308 Something. I don't know. Uh, condoms? 155 00:06:00,341 --> 00:06:02,310 Try the Smithsonian. 156 00:06:04,678 --> 00:06:05,913 What are you doing? 157 00:06:05,946 --> 00:06:07,381 Listen, I need something cool 158 00:06:07,415 --> 00:06:09,149 I can bring back to the Acorn Boys. 159 00:06:09,182 --> 00:06:10,718 Who the hell are the Acorn Boys? 160 00:06:10,751 --> 00:06:13,153 It's my secret group. 161 00:06:13,186 --> 00:06:15,122 If you tell anybody, I'll beat your ass. 162 00:06:15,155 --> 00:06:16,457 All right, calm down. 163 00:06:16,490 --> 00:06:17,758 Let me guess: 164 00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:19,660 beginning days of the group, 165 00:06:19,693 --> 00:06:21,161 it was a non-stop thrill ride. 166 00:06:21,194 --> 00:06:23,764 And now you're getting a little bit older, 167 00:06:23,797 --> 00:06:24,998 and the thrill is gone. 168 00:06:25,032 --> 00:06:26,400 So you're looking for something, 169 00:06:26,434 --> 00:06:29,002 anything, just to put you back on top. 170 00:06:29,036 --> 00:06:31,004 That's exactly right. How'd you know? 171 00:06:31,038 --> 00:06:33,006 'Cause I had a group of my own back in the day. 172 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,175 Called ourselves Boys in the Hole. 173 00:06:35,208 --> 00:06:36,610 Weird. Why? 174 00:06:36,644 --> 00:06:38,812 'Cause we hung out in a hole. 175 00:06:38,846 --> 00:06:40,681 Give me 400 bucks, I'll fix your problem. 176 00:06:40,714 --> 00:06:41,949 400 bucks? For what? 177 00:06:41,982 --> 00:06:43,684 It'll be worth it. Trust me. 178 00:06:43,717 --> 00:06:45,819 You're gonna want to hold onto these days for dear life, 179 00:06:45,853 --> 00:06:49,990 because once they are over, it is downhill. 180 00:06:50,023 --> 00:06:50,991 I can see that. 181 00:06:51,024 --> 00:06:52,860 MICKEY: Go, go, go, 182 00:06:52,893 --> 00:06:56,497 go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 183 00:06:56,530 --> 00:07:00,100 Go! Stop! Okay. 184 00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:01,435 - ALBA: Okay. Salmon time. - MICKEY: Yep. 185 00:07:01,469 --> 00:07:02,703 Down the hatch. All of it. 186 00:07:02,736 --> 00:07:04,505 But I don't like the fishy taste. 187 00:07:04,538 --> 00:07:06,206 Well, do you like the coppery taste of failure? 188 00:07:06,239 --> 00:07:07,508 'Cause that's all you're gonna be tasting 189 00:07:07,541 --> 00:07:09,109 unless you eat that whole plate, okay? 190 00:07:09,142 --> 00:07:10,811 Come on, even the weird gray part at the bottom. 191 00:07:10,844 --> 00:07:12,380 - And the bones. - Not the bone... 192 00:07:12,413 --> 00:07:14,548 Why would he eat the bones? Don't eat the bones. 193 00:07:14,582 --> 00:07:17,017 I don't want to eat any of it. I'm not hungry. 194 00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:18,652 - Uh... - It's not about your belly. 195 00:07:18,686 --> 00:07:20,454 - Uh-uh. - We are feeding your brain. 196 00:07:20,488 --> 00:07:22,823 - There we go, chew it up. - Good boy. Good boy. 197 00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:25,025 All right! What do you think? Any ideas? 198 00:07:25,058 --> 00:07:26,026 Toilet pants. 199 00:07:26,059 --> 00:07:27,628 You already said that, guy. 200 00:07:27,661 --> 00:07:29,029 You already said that. Remember? 201 00:07:29,062 --> 00:07:30,063 A hat you can pee in. 202 00:07:30,097 --> 00:07:31,565 Isn't that just a toilet hat? 203 00:07:31,599 --> 00:07:33,367 You got anything non-toilet-related? 204 00:07:33,401 --> 00:07:35,803 A tree that sings. 205 00:07:35,836 --> 00:07:38,005 A basketball I can dunk. 206 00:07:38,038 --> 00:07:40,040 - ALBA: Mm-hmm. - Uh, sparkling milk. 207 00:07:40,073 --> 00:07:41,909 Uh, a butt you don't have to wipe. 208 00:07:41,942 --> 00:07:43,711 Okay. I have a... you know what we should do? 209 00:07:43,744 --> 00:07:45,012 We should just... We should take a break. 210 00:07:45,045 --> 00:07:46,580 - Yep. - Let's take a break. 211 00:07:46,614 --> 00:07:47,915 - Right. - We... we've all been working so hard. 212 00:07:47,948 --> 00:07:48,982 - Yeah. - But I still have more ideas. 213 00:07:49,016 --> 00:07:50,384 MICKEY: You do? 214 00:07:50,418 --> 00:07:52,185 Well, that's great news for me. Go write 'em down... 215 00:07:52,219 --> 00:07:53,587 - Yeah. - ... and I can't wait to read 'em. 216 00:07:53,621 --> 00:07:54,655 - Okay. - Okay? 217 00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:55,989 Okay. 218 00:07:56,023 --> 00:07:57,825 - Okay. Uh, new plan. - Mm. 219 00:07:57,858 --> 00:08:00,093 We're gonna come up with his idea for him. 220 00:08:00,127 --> 00:08:01,395 Can't get more hands-on than that. 221 00:08:01,429 --> 00:08:03,263 - Oh, yeah. It's good. - Let's go. 222 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,036 - All right. I'm leaving. - Hey. 223 00:08:09,069 --> 00:08:10,571 He'll be here. 224 00:08:10,604 --> 00:08:12,440 I... I don't get who this guy is. 225 00:08:12,473 --> 00:08:13,441 How old is he? 226 00:08:13,474 --> 00:08:15,342 Old. He's banging my aunt. 227 00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:17,010 Trust me, this guy's plugged in. 228 00:08:17,044 --> 00:08:18,546 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 229 00:08:18,579 --> 00:08:21,381 JIMMY: Gentlemen, brace yourselves. 230 00:08:21,415 --> 00:08:25,218 The future of the Acorn Boys is now. 231 00:08:25,252 --> 00:08:26,920 (SHOUTING) 232 00:08:26,954 --> 00:08:28,889 - (JIMMY LAUGHS) - ALL: No! 233 00:08:30,558 --> 00:08:32,560 What are you doing? I gave you $400, 234 00:08:32,593 --> 00:08:34,061 and you get Silly String? 235 00:08:34,094 --> 00:08:36,564 You're right. 236 00:08:36,597 --> 00:08:38,966 What a giant waste of money. 237 00:08:38,999 --> 00:08:41,034 Good thing I brought this! 238 00:08:41,068 --> 00:08:42,069 - Whoa! - Oh! 239 00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:43,571 - Whoa! - Chill out! 240 00:08:43,604 --> 00:08:46,540 Right? She's a beaut. 241 00:08:46,574 --> 00:08:48,709 - That's freaking awesome! - That's awesome! 242 00:08:48,742 --> 00:08:50,277 It is awesome. 243 00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:51,712 But it is not a toy. 244 00:08:51,745 --> 00:08:53,080 This is a serious tactical weapon 245 00:08:53,113 --> 00:08:54,314 designed specifically 246 00:08:54,347 --> 00:08:56,083 for precision target shooting. 247 00:08:56,116 --> 00:08:58,486 Think you could put two arrows in there at the same time? 248 00:08:58,519 --> 00:09:01,254 We can sure as hell try. 249 00:09:01,288 --> 00:09:02,923 ? Cypress Hill ? 250 00:09:02,956 --> 00:09:04,424 ? Well, I'm an alley cat ? 251 00:09:04,458 --> 00:09:05,659 - Oh! - ? Some say a dirty rat ? 252 00:09:05,693 --> 00:09:07,260 ? On my side is my gat ? 253 00:09:07,294 --> 00:09:08,796 ? See, I'm all of that, spittin' out buck shots ? 254 00:09:08,829 --> 00:09:10,297 - ? Boy, I'm gonna wet'cha ? - Oh! 255 00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:11,632 ? Run and hide, but I'm still comin' to get'cha ? 256 00:09:11,665 --> 00:09:14,001 ? Thinkin' like a peace smoke ? 257 00:09:14,034 --> 00:09:16,003 ? Comin' on a homicide, you talkin' ish ? 258 00:09:16,036 --> 00:09:18,105 ? Tryin' to take me for a ride, I'm not a bad guy ? 259 00:09:18,138 --> 00:09:20,474 - ? See, I'm the funky feel ? - Yeah! 260 00:09:20,508 --> 00:09:21,975 ? Finger on the trigger when my hand's up on the steel ? 261 00:09:22,009 --> 00:09:23,076 ? Lettin' out a bullet ? 262 00:09:23,110 --> 00:09:25,012 ? This is goin' boo-yah ? 263 00:09:25,045 --> 00:09:27,581 ? You're stuck in my hood, so what ya gonna do now? ? 264 00:09:27,615 --> 00:09:30,117 ? Bein' the hunted one is no fun ? 265 00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:32,853 - (BOYS SHOUTING) - ? Sawed-off shotgun, hand on the pump ? 266 00:09:32,886 --> 00:09:33,461 - Yeah! - ? Left hand on a 40 ? 267 00:09:33,462 --> 00:09:36,456 - ? Puffin' on a blunt... ? - Ah, thank you, Acorn Boys, 268 00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:38,759 for allowing me to be part of your sacred group. 269 00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:42,496 Even if it was for just one destruction-soaked afternoon. 270 00:09:51,204 --> 00:09:52,405 (EXHALES) 271 00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:57,277 - See you boys in the next life. - Hey, where you going? 272 00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:59,446 Uh, I paid for that. It's official Acorn Boys property. 273 00:09:59,479 --> 00:10:00,814 You think I'm gonna leave a bunch of kids alone 274 00:10:00,848 --> 00:10:02,349 with a crossbow? 275 00:10:02,382 --> 00:10:04,952 What kind of moron do you think I am? 276 00:10:04,985 --> 00:10:07,420 - (GRUNTS) - FELDSTEIN: What the hell, Chip? 277 00:10:07,654 --> 00:10:09,056 Now that we've had a crossbow, 278 00:10:09,089 --> 00:10:11,158 we can't just go back to not having one. 279 00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:12,292 All right, don't worry. 280 00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:13,590 I'll think of something, okay? 281 00:10:13,623 --> 00:10:14,658 MICKEY: This is insane. 282 00:10:14,692 --> 00:10:16,293 How is a seven-year-old 283 00:10:16,326 --> 00:10:17,961 supposed to come up with something that no person 284 00:10:17,995 --> 00:10:19,763 - has ever come up with? - I don't know. 285 00:10:19,797 --> 00:10:22,032 They're all jacked up on brain pills, that's how. 286 00:10:22,065 --> 00:10:24,001 We can't compete with that. 287 00:10:24,034 --> 00:10:25,602 Yeah, we're like the one baseball player 288 00:10:25,635 --> 00:10:27,504 not cranked on steroids, while all the other gorillas 289 00:10:27,537 --> 00:10:28,872 are out there just slamming 290 00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:31,174 - home run after home run. - Yeah. 291 00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:33,711 You know what I think we got to do? 292 00:10:33,744 --> 00:10:35,846 - Hmm. - I think we got to level the playing field. 293 00:10:35,879 --> 00:10:37,815 - What? - Hear me out. Listen. I know 294 00:10:37,848 --> 00:10:40,818 I was heavily against Ben polluting his developing mind, 295 00:10:40,851 --> 00:10:43,453 but think about it this way: our minds? 296 00:10:43,486 --> 00:10:45,622 Already polluted. 297 00:10:45,655 --> 00:10:46,990 That makes sense. 298 00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:48,291 We just need a little nudge, you know? 299 00:10:48,325 --> 00:10:50,460 So we can give him a little nudge. 300 00:10:50,493 --> 00:10:53,063 You know what? 301 00:10:54,164 --> 00:10:56,166 I don't see any other way. 302 00:10:59,170 --> 00:11:01,839 Oh, boy. Ah. Not to be a hypocrite or anything, 303 00:11:01,972 --> 00:11:03,874 but these meds, they are the real McCoy. 304 00:11:03,907 --> 00:11:05,976 - Right? I am feelin' noice! - (EXCLAIMS) 305 00:11:06,009 --> 00:11:07,577 My brain feels like the Internet. 306 00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:09,813 Yeah, okay. So, it's, uh, it's idea time. 307 00:11:09,847 --> 00:11:10,776 - Yeah. - I'm just gonna... 308 00:11:10,777 --> 00:11:11,848 I'm just gonna flow from the dome. 309 00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:12,850 - All right, uh... - Okay. Spit! 310 00:11:12,883 --> 00:11:13,917 It should be sleek, am I right? 311 00:11:13,951 --> 00:11:16,353 And modern. Biodegradable. 312 00:11:16,386 --> 00:11:19,156 - Yes, but light. But also heavy. - Oh, oh, oh, I know, I know! 313 00:11:19,189 --> 00:11:21,591 - What? Oh, what? What, what? - Um, uh, write this down. Um... 314 00:11:21,624 --> 00:11:24,194 - Oh, shoot! I can taste it. - Oh, what does it taste like? 315 00:11:24,227 --> 00:11:26,764 - Uh, it's just knocking at the door. - Open it and grab it! 316 00:11:27,798 --> 00:11:30,834 (GRUNTS) It's gone, lost. 317 00:11:30,868 --> 00:11:33,170 - Aw, damn it. Close. Okay. - Yeah, I know. Aw, shoot. 318 00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:35,672 All right. (GROANS) 319 00:11:35,705 --> 00:11:37,875 Well, but here's the thing, though... 320 00:11:37,908 --> 00:11:40,110 the idea's only, like, ten percent of the thing. 321 00:11:40,143 --> 00:11:41,945 Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? 322 00:11:41,979 --> 00:11:44,614 Businesses these days... they're all about branding, right? 323 00:11:44,647 --> 00:11:47,284 - Okay, um... - Apple. You think that's just a... a computer? 324 00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:49,920 - Is Nike just a sneaker? - Uh-huh. Yes. 325 00:11:49,953 --> 00:11:51,789 Well, you're kind of right. But you're also wrong as hell. 326 00:11:51,822 --> 00:11:53,556 These guys... they sell a lifestyle. 327 00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:55,025 The idea is interchangeable. 328 00:11:55,058 --> 00:11:57,194 What we have to figure out is Ben's booth. 329 00:11:57,227 --> 00:12:00,397 - His... his Apple Store, his Niketown. - Uh-huh, uh-huh. 330 00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:02,365 Once we figure out the booth, then the invention is just gonna 331 00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:04,101 come to us organically, and that blue ribbon 332 00:12:04,134 --> 00:12:06,403 - will be mine. - Or Ben's. 333 00:12:06,436 --> 00:12:08,571 - What, the ribbon? Ben's. - Yeah. 334 00:12:08,605 --> 00:12:10,207 Yeah, it's Ben's. That's what I said. What'd I say? 335 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,875 Uh, let me check my notes. I did not write anything. 336 00:12:11,909 --> 00:12:13,643 - You're not writing?! - Wha... (STAMMERS) 337 00:12:13,676 --> 00:12:15,412 - Oh, God, I'm gonna rip my hair out. - Okay, let's go. 338 00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:18,481 Well, why don't you try saying that to my face, Mom? 339 00:12:18,515 --> 00:12:20,984 What's that? 340 00:12:21,018 --> 00:12:22,585 Uh... 341 00:12:22,619 --> 00:12:24,754 just a majorly deadly weapon. 342 00:12:24,788 --> 00:12:25,789 Can I play with it? 343 00:12:25,823 --> 00:12:27,557 No, you may not. 344 00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:30,060 That's okay. 345 00:12:30,093 --> 00:12:32,629 I should probably get ready for tomorrow anyway. 346 00:12:32,662 --> 00:12:33,931 What's tomorrow? 347 00:12:33,964 --> 00:12:35,966 You'll see. 348 00:12:39,302 --> 00:12:40,770 MICKEY: Yes! 349 00:12:40,804 --> 00:12:43,506 - Look at us! This... this booth is amazing. - Oh. 350 00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:45,742 Uh, all we got to do now is just slide some invention 351 00:12:45,775 --> 00:12:49,146 into this box, and that gold medal will be ours. 352 00:12:49,179 --> 00:12:50,914 - Okay, how we doing on time? - Yeah. Uh... 353 00:12:50,948 --> 00:12:53,350 - fair starts in a couple hours. - Pill me. 354 00:12:53,383 --> 00:12:54,651 Oh! No más. 355 00:12:54,684 --> 00:12:56,019 - What are you talking about?! - Wha... 356 00:12:56,053 --> 00:12:58,188 - You ate them?! - I was hungry. 357 00:12:58,221 --> 00:13:00,457 Alba, we needed those pills 358 00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,159 so we could destroy the competition. 359 00:13:02,192 --> 00:13:04,194 Okay. We come up with an idea. 360 00:13:04,227 --> 00:13:06,096 No, you ate all of the ideas. 361 00:13:06,129 --> 00:13:07,597 So, yeah, now it's on you. 362 00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:09,132 Go. Yo... that's... that's yours. 363 00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:10,533 - Come on, think, think, think. - Uh... Okay. 364 00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,535 Okay, okay, okay. Um... 365 00:13:12,569 --> 00:13:14,504 Ooh! 366 00:13:14,537 --> 00:13:18,275 Maybe it's not the competition we destroy. Hear me out. 367 00:13:18,308 --> 00:13:20,878 What if something were to happen to Benito's project, 368 00:13:20,911 --> 00:13:23,513 like... it got vandalized? 369 00:13:23,546 --> 00:13:27,050 (GASPS) That way he's a victim, not a loser. 370 00:13:28,818 --> 00:13:30,353 I see no flaws with that plan. 371 00:13:30,387 --> 00:13:31,821 - Yeah! - Let's do it. 372 00:13:31,855 --> 00:13:34,124 (ALBA GRUNTING) 373 00:13:34,157 --> 00:13:35,692 ? 374 00:13:35,725 --> 00:13:38,261 (ALBA YELLING) 375 00:13:46,870 --> 00:13:49,472 (YELLING) 376 00:13:49,506 --> 00:13:51,741 (BOTH PANTING) 377 00:13:51,774 --> 00:13:53,243 Okay. 378 00:13:53,276 --> 00:13:56,013 - All right. Okay. - Yeah. Okay. 379 00:13:56,046 --> 00:13:58,015 - Can I ask you a question? - Hmm? 380 00:13:58,048 --> 00:14:01,351 Does it look kind of weird that only Ben's booth was targeted? 381 00:14:02,552 --> 00:14:04,821 Hmm... 382 00:14:04,854 --> 00:14:06,056 We could do a couple more. 383 00:14:06,089 --> 00:14:07,925 - Just to be safe. - Yeah, okay. 384 00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:09,960 ? 385 00:14:19,269 --> 00:14:22,239 - Yes! That is more like it. - Yeah! Yeah. 386 00:14:22,272 --> 00:14:24,207 All right, now it looks like somebody came in 387 00:14:24,241 --> 00:14:26,243 - and targeted a specific area. - Yeah. 388 00:14:26,276 --> 00:14:28,545 - That being said... - Uh-huh? 389 00:14:28,578 --> 00:14:30,680 - Can I ask you one other quick question? - What? 390 00:14:30,713 --> 00:14:33,416 Now does it sort of look like we bashed up these two booths 391 00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:34,918 just to cover up for that one? 392 00:14:34,952 --> 00:14:38,021 Ah, you think a couple more? 393 00:14:38,055 --> 00:14:40,123 - Okay, yeah. - Yeah, okay. 394 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,302 (ALBA SHOUTS) 395 00:14:54,104 --> 00:14:56,139 - Right? - Uh-huh. 396 00:14:56,173 --> 00:14:58,408 (PANTING): I think you got it. I think we got it. 397 00:14:58,441 --> 00:15:00,310 (DOOR OPENS) 398 00:15:02,245 --> 00:15:03,246 Did you bring it? 399 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,881 No. 400 00:15:04,914 --> 00:15:06,416 All I could find is more Silly String. 401 00:15:06,449 --> 00:15:08,285 Yo, are you just doing the same thing Jimmy did? 402 00:15:08,318 --> 00:15:10,220 Yeah, we can see the crossbow behind your back. 403 00:15:10,253 --> 00:15:12,489 Is it the crossbow 404 00:15:12,522 --> 00:15:15,425 - or is it the crossbow? - Ow. 405 00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:18,628 (ALL SCREAMING) 406 00:15:21,931 --> 00:15:23,200 (GAGS) 407 00:15:25,935 --> 00:15:28,638 Chip. 408 00:15:28,671 --> 00:15:29,973 ANDREW: Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh. 409 00:15:30,007 --> 00:15:31,408 There's an arrow sticking out of his chest! 410 00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:33,910 Okay, okay, okay, everybody just calm down! 411 00:15:33,943 --> 00:15:35,645 Take me, Lord. I'm ready. 412 00:15:35,678 --> 00:15:37,914 You're gonna be fine. Okay? We can fix this. 413 00:15:37,947 --> 00:15:39,116 I'm so sleepy. 414 00:15:39,149 --> 00:15:40,317 Hey, no. No sleeping. Come on. 415 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:42,352 Come on, bud. Please don't die on us. 416 00:15:44,354 --> 00:15:46,156 (GRUNTS) 417 00:15:46,189 --> 00:15:47,957 Stupid Acorn Boys! 418 00:15:47,991 --> 00:15:49,059 Chip! 419 00:15:51,194 --> 00:15:53,596 We got to get that arrow out of him before Jimmy sees. 420 00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:58,035 Andrew, I'm sorry I said you look like the tired emoji. 421 00:15:59,236 --> 00:16:01,004 Here. Bite down on this. 422 00:16:01,038 --> 00:16:03,373 Sorry, buddy. 423 00:16:03,406 --> 00:16:04,674 (GROANS) 424 00:16:06,043 --> 00:16:08,945 (ALL SCREAMING) 425 00:16:08,978 --> 00:16:10,313 - EDUARDO: Oh, my God! - CHIP: Put the pad on! 426 00:16:10,347 --> 00:16:11,648 (ALL SHOUTING) 427 00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:14,217 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 428 00:16:17,554 --> 00:16:20,157 - ANDREW: This will never work. - EDUARDO: Hurry. 429 00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:23,226 CHIP: Hey. What's up, man? 430 00:16:23,260 --> 00:16:24,961 Did you, uh, bring the crossbow? 431 00:16:24,994 --> 00:16:27,364 It's funny you should ask. 432 00:16:27,397 --> 00:16:30,633 My crossbow has gone missing. 433 00:16:30,667 --> 00:16:33,370 You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? 434 00:16:33,403 --> 00:16:35,004 No, that's mad weird. 435 00:16:40,110 --> 00:16:42,512 I'm gonna ask you one more time. 436 00:16:42,545 --> 00:16:43,546 Hey, you calling us liars? 437 00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:44,714 Acorn Boys never lie. Got that? 438 00:16:51,521 --> 00:16:53,656 Yeah, I respect that. 439 00:16:53,690 --> 00:16:56,192 Boys in the Hole had a strict no-lying policy, too. 440 00:16:56,425 --> 00:16:58,228 - Holler if you see it, yeah? - CHIP: Yeah. 441 00:16:58,261 --> 00:16:59,262 Got it. 442 00:17:01,431 --> 00:17:02,765 (GROANS) 443 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,194 Okay. Don't panic. 444 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,362 We're gonna handle this like adults. 445 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,371 (GRUNTING) 446 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,645 Come on, go, go! 447 00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,248 Go! 448 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,725 Oh, my God. 449 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,127 What's going on? 450 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,695 Remember when I said it was a bad idea 451 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,331 to take Ben off his meds? 452 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,532 Look at these. 453 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,866 I told you this was gonna happen. 454 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,368 His teacher is covered in blood 455 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,636 and filled with arrows. 456 00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,538 - Oh, no. - What? 457 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,540 - My crossbow. - What crossbow? 458 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,842 The one I got Chip. Ben must have it. 459 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:59,279 - Well, where is he?! - School. 460 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,882 What the hell, Crandall? 461 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,417 Do you have any idea 462 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,553 how hard we... B... Ben worked on this? 463 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,489 We have been the victims of a heartless vandalism. 464 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:10,823 - Oh. - Oh. 465 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,226 Whoever did this is a stone-cold psychopath. 466 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,561 I am sick over it. 467 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,330 You know, 'cause Ben, he invented a cherry of an idea. 468 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,831 You got to ask him. 469 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,633 Well, I would love to talk to Ben. Where is he? 470 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,438 Oh, now there's that little bugger. 471 00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,611 - Everybody, down! - Shooter! 472 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,882 He's gonna shoot Crandall with a crossbow! 473 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:38,184 (PEOPLE GASP) 474 00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:40,353 Get off me! No, I'm not. 475 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,755 And I made her a vest. 476 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,425 Uh... oh. Why? 477 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,926 Because I love her. 478 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:50,229 I invented it so she could stay organized and clean. 479 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:53,199 (RAGGED BREATHING) 480 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:54,901 MICKEY: Oh, um... 481 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:58,337 - Well... that was it. - Vest is the answer. 482 00:18:59,541 --> 00:19:01,799 Look, we thought Ben was gonna kill you. 483 00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:05,712 And instead he was making you some kind of vest? 484 00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,615 Because he loves you? 485 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,217 I call it the Teacher's Pet. 486 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,952 Well, thank you, Ben. 487 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,322 It was very thoughtful and sweet. 488 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,424 And he did it totally clean, I might add. 489 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,625 ALBA: No, and... 490 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:21,761 we did not take any drugs, either, FYI. 491 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:24,230 Well, I admit this is a side of Ben 492 00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:25,632 that I have not seen before. 493 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,435 He was motivated and focused 494 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,337 and he completed the assignment all by himself. 495 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:31,471 I'm impressed. 496 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,973 So, you're saying I was right? 497 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,241 I don't know about that. 498 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,909 But you are saying I won? 499 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,611 Parenting's not a competition. 500 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,912 Ah, says the woman who lost. 501 00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,448 - (ALBA LAUGHS) - Come on, big guy. 502 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:42,982 Let's go take a nap. We earned it. 503 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,984 Ugh. 504 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,686 Wait a minute. 505 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:50,690 If Ben's invention was ruined in the attack, 506 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,959 why did he make this vest? 507 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,496 Okay, so first you're a doctor 508 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:57,864 and then suddenly you're a detective? 509 00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,932 (LAUGHS) Tone it down, lady. 510 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,968 Just be a teacher, okay? 511 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,471 CHIP: Okay, old business. 512 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,673 Yesterday was completely insane. 513 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,841 I can't believe my parents bought 514 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,843 that I skated into a tree branch. 515 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,380 Sit down! 516 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,718 Acorn Boys betrayed me? 517 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,853 And don't tell me Feldstein skated into a tree 518 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,789 because I've been outside listening for a while. 519 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,657 - We can explain. - Don't bother. 520 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,529 You stole my crossbow, shot Feldstein, 521 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,030 and lied to my face. 522 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,768 The Acorn Boys are finished. 523 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,376 'Cause you Acorn Men now. 524 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,611 (CAN OPENING) 525 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,888 And I am so damn proud of you guys! 526 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,524 - Hell, yeah. - (WHOOPS) 527 00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,692 - ACM for life. - Thanks, Jimmy. 528 00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,694 - No. - What? 529 00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:04,864 I said no. 530 00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:07,700 W... we've seen too much. 531 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,771 It's time to move on. 532 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,945 I officially declare this the 684th 533 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,581 and final meeting of the Acorn Boys. 534 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,783 President Chip, signing off. 535 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:47,970 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 536 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,509 BEN: Toilet pants. 537 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,782 Hope you enjoyed kickin' it with The Mick. 538 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,084 Now here are a few more shows to check out from Fox. 539 00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:04,423 ? Hey-ay-ay ? 540 00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:06,593 ? Hey-ay-ay ? 541 00:22:06,956 --> 00:22:08,958 WOMAN: This is our story. 542 00:22:08,991 --> 00:22:11,261 ? Can't stop me now ? 543 00:22:11,294 --> 00:22:13,363 ? Can't stop me now ? 544 00:22:13,396 --> 00:22:15,398 ? I'm just doing what I do ? 545 00:22:15,432 --> 00:22:16,899 ? Won't stop doing what I do ? 546 00:22:16,933 --> 00:22:18,435 ? Can't stop me now ? 547 00:22:18,468 --> 00:22:21,438 - ? Can't stop me now ? - ? Can't stop me now ? 548 00:22:21,471 --> 00:22:23,740 - ? Cannot beat me ? - ? Can't stop me now ? 549 00:22:23,773 --> 00:22:25,375 ? I'm just doin' what I do ? 550 00:22:25,408 --> 00:22:27,644 ? Won't stop doin' what I do ?