1
00:00:00,063 --> 00:00:01,614
_

2
00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:04,088
Check it out.
That's a Claude van Woodson.

3
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,882
It's probably worth half a million
dollars if we can get our hands on it.

4
00:00:06,908 --> 00:00:08,024
Are you serious?

5
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,468
What do you say, Jack?

6
00:00:09,494 --> 00:00:12,678
Crooked politician lying to the
people while she cashes in?

7
00:00:12,704 --> 00:00:13,863
Bad enough for ya?

8
00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:15,660
Why do we need a painting if
we're stealing a painting?

9
00:00:15,686 --> 00:00:18,566
Because if we can replace
this one with a fake,

10
00:00:18,592 --> 00:00:20,762
no one will realize
the real one is gone.

11
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:23,399
Damn. That actually looks pretty good.

12
00:00:23,425 --> 00:00:26,238
Perfect. Front and back.

13
00:00:26,264 --> 00:00:29,155
"Happy birthday, Gloria. Love, Jack."

14
00:00:29,181 --> 00:00:31,506
How much you think we'll pocket
after we sell this painting?

15
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,215
My fence usually charges
20% of the value,

16
00:00:34,241 --> 00:00:36,787
but we haven't figured out
the final details yet.

17
00:00:36,813 --> 00:00:39,472
My fence thinks I'm working with
the cops because I got out early.

18
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,433
- We don't have a fence?
- We should just call it off.

19
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:45,085
Call it off? No, no, no, no, no.
Somehow, we'll fix this. I promise.

20
00:00:47,938 --> 00:00:49,190
What the hell?

21
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,210
Somebody beat us to it.

22
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,611
_

23
00:02:14,065 --> 00:02:17,752
_

24
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:23,354
_

25
00:02:24,572 --> 00:02:26,584
How do you spell "cha-ching"?

26
00:02:26,658 --> 00:02:28,623
Never mind, it sounds racist.

27
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,860
They're supposed to be here
by now with that painting.

28
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,541
Maybe you should go check on 'em.

29
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,420
What's takin' so long?

30
00:02:41,622 --> 00:02:43,256
Someone beat us to it.

31
00:02:43,282 --> 00:02:45,061
And they're not just
taking the painting.

32
00:02:45,087 --> 00:02:47,877
It looks like they're replacing every
piece of art she owns with fakes.

33
00:02:47,903 --> 00:02:51,811
- Did you tell Giggles about this?
- Wiggles. Nah, I promise.

34
00:02:51,845 --> 00:02:54,224
I told her I might be coming into
some cash, but no specifics.

35
00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,024
Well, then who the hell are
these guys stealin' our job?

36
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,636
Probably Mexicans. We gotta
build that wall, bro.

37
00:02:58,791 --> 00:03:00,907
Look, there goes our painting.

38
00:03:01,016 --> 00:03:03,783
Maybe I can just run over there and make
the switch while they're in the house.

39
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,937
No, that is too risky. Just
give me a few seconds to think.

40
00:03:06,963 --> 00:03:08,913
In a few seconds, they could be gone.

41
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,025
I promised Wiggles we were gonna
get rich from that ugly painting.

42
00:03:11,051 --> 00:03:12,166
- Wait, you told her about...
- You said you didn't...

43
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,862
That's all I said. No more. She didn't
even know what a Congresswoman was.

44
00:03:14,888 --> 00:03:17,046
- What? - Rooster!
- Look, we're getting that painting.

45
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,465
My kid's not gonna grow up
eating poor people's cereal.

46
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,631
We're gonna get the name-brand
stuff with high fructose.

47
00:03:21,657 --> 00:03:23,579
- Highest they got.
- Wait, your kid?

48
00:03:23,605 --> 00:03:25,789
Don't tell Mom, but Wiggles
and I are engaged,

49
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,917
so we're probably gonna
have a kid and shit.

50
00:03:27,943 --> 00:03:29,295
- Good for you.
- Please reconsider.

51
00:03:29,321 --> 00:03:31,603
Maybe I sneak up on 'em, knock 'em out,

52
00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,646
then we take the truck
and steal everything.

53
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,841
Or you could get shot trying
to fight like a caveman.

54
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:39,193
We don't have to. I was the fastest kid
in first grade for three straight years.

55
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,962
- I could...
- They're robbin' an empty house.

56
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,030
Why would they bring guns?

57
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:44,631
Everybody has a gun nowadays.
They don't need a reason.

58
00:03:44,664 --> 00:03:45,998
We need that money.

59
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,772
I need an apartment in San Diego
big enough for me and my parents.

60
00:03:48,798 --> 00:03:51,440
Plus, you said buyin' me a new
identity is not gonna be cheap.

61
00:03:51,466 --> 00:03:53,915
Yeah, well, neither is a funeral.

62
00:03:54,396 --> 00:03:55,805
Where's Rooster?

63
00:04:00,405 --> 00:04:01,634
Oh, boy.

64
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,250
He's not that fast.

65
00:04:12,783 --> 00:04:14,541
Okay, I think that's everything.

66
00:04:14,886 --> 00:04:18,644
Let's get out of here before one of the
neighbors sees us and calls the cops.

67
00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:26,191
That doesn't bode well.

68
00:04:28,594 --> 00:04:29,910
Okay.

69
00:05:03,276 --> 00:05:11,549
www.subtitulamos.tv

70
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,781
What's goin' on? Where's Rooster?

71
00:05:20,807 --> 00:05:22,906
You raised a dickhead, Barb.
You really did.

72
00:05:22,932 --> 00:05:24,283
Somebody beat us to the job.

73
00:05:24,309 --> 00:05:26,259
Rooster tried to grab the painting
from the back of the truck,

74
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,909
- but they took off with him inside.
- They what?!

75
00:05:29,674 --> 00:05:32,437
Damn it! I forgot to put my
lucky penny in my pocket.

76
00:05:32,463 --> 00:05:34,080
That's why this is happening.

77
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,674
Are any of these heads?

78
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,108
- I got him.
- What?

79
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,803
They're headed north on Route 40.
A couple miles ahead of us.

80
00:05:46,070 --> 00:05:47,392
It's Rooster.

81
00:05:48,494 --> 00:05:50,963
- I'm in the back of the truck.
- We know.

82
00:05:50,989 --> 00:05:53,682
Gloria's got one of those
spy thingies on her phone

83
00:05:53,708 --> 00:05:55,562
that's letting us where you are.

84
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:57,707
It looks like we're all
in a game of Pac-Man.

85
00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,807
Do you think you'll be able
to extricate yourself?

86
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:01,885
Maybe.

87
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,921
But I'm gonna need to
hear the rest of the plan

88
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,784
before I agree to shit my pants.

89
00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:09,109
No, extricate yourself, not defe...

90
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,914
If they stop, do you
think you can get out?

91
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:13,165
I already tried.

92
00:06:13,191 --> 00:06:14,875
Once the door latches, it
locks from the outside.

93
00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:16,768
But if you guys are
following me, you could...

94
00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:19,338
What happened? What happened?
Did the truck blow up?

95
00:06:19,364 --> 00:06:22,015
We lost service. We
must be in a dead zone.

96
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:23,971
Just keep driving until we get service.

97
00:06:30,075 --> 00:06:31,076
What?

98
00:06:31,102 --> 00:06:34,557
I had to listen to the whole soundtrack
of that Jimmy Buffett musical.

99
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,211
Are you sure you tied everything down?

100
00:06:38,237 --> 00:06:40,323
- I'm sure.
- Okay.

101
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,737
'Cause you've been sure
about other things.

102
00:06:43,932 --> 00:06:47,324
If this is about the oat milk thing,
you can spare me your soliloquy, okay?

103
00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:48,602
Just double-checking.

104
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,135
'Cause last night you were sure you
put the oat milk in the fridge,

105
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,320
but when I woke up in the
morning, it was on the counter.

106
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:55,223
Okay, I take Ambien
because someone snores,

107
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:58,585
so I occasionally make a bowl
of cereal in my sleep. Relax.

108
00:06:58,611 --> 00:07:00,100
Well, I'd love to see
how relaxed you'd be

109
00:07:00,126 --> 00:07:02,627
if you started your morning with
a room-temperatured smoothie.

110
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,948
You're sure, huh?

111
00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:10,159
I'm starting to doubt
myself a little bit.

112
00:07:13,682 --> 00:07:15,657
I don't snore, by the way.

113
00:07:15,683 --> 00:07:18,369
I have a deviated septum.
It's a condition.

114
00:07:25,972 --> 00:07:28,151
See? Everything's fine.

115
00:07:28,518 --> 00:07:31,493
Yeah, well, I'll go get some drinks
and you can fill up the truck.

116
00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,662
That's it? No apology?

117
00:07:33,924 --> 00:07:37,299
Why is my dad paying for therapy if
you're not gonna do the work, baby?

118
00:07:45,054 --> 00:07:48,299
Oh, shit! I had him,
but I lost him again.

119
00:07:53,531 --> 00:07:55,867
Hey, what are you doing? I told
you I would get the drinks.

120
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,604
Yeah, well, you keep buying
me diet tea and I hate it.

121
00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:02,586
I guess I'm just subconsciously
worried about your health.

122
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:05,042
Please. Equinox has barely
been closed for two weeks

123
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,807
and you're already worried about your
mama calling you a "chubby chaser" again.

124
00:08:08,078 --> 00:08:09,148
Please.

125
00:08:09,174 --> 00:08:12,034
If I cared what my mother thought,
I'd still be dating Jessica.

126
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:15,898
Trust me, I will always
love every pound of you.

127
00:08:16,140 --> 00:08:18,398
Thank you. I love you too.

128
00:08:19,379 --> 00:08:22,599
And if you don't like diet tea, I'm
sure they've got sparkling water.

129
00:08:29,628 --> 00:08:31,737
It's gonna be a long night.

130
00:08:31,987 --> 00:08:33,613
I can't believe we're going to New York

131
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:36,767
and the only thing that's opening on
Broadway is a new Covid testing site.

132
00:08:36,793 --> 00:08:39,368
Okay, why is your boss
making you do this again?

133
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,291
I mean, replacing art in
the middle of the night

134
00:08:41,317 --> 00:08:43,523
and driving to her condo
in Manhattan, babe.

135
00:08:43,549 --> 00:08:44,681
She's a Congresswoman.

136
00:08:44,707 --> 00:08:47,361
I mean, shouldn't our tax dollars
be paying for a moving company?

137
00:08:47,387 --> 00:08:49,420
For all I know, this
is some sort of test.

138
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,279
If there's anything I've learned while
working for Cruella de Capitol Hill,

139
00:08:52,305 --> 00:08:54,324
you don't ask questions.

140
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:09,995
- Is he back yet?
- No.

141
00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:11,411
Damn it!

142
00:09:11,457 --> 00:09:14,471
I knew I should have put that chip
in his neck when he was a baby.

143
00:09:14,497 --> 00:09:17,588
The vet said he'd do it for 50 bucks,
but my husband thought I was crazy.

144
00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:20,507
Well, who's crazy now, Enrique?

145
00:09:20,595 --> 00:09:22,415
Who's crazy now?!

146
00:09:37,726 --> 00:09:38,822
Mommy!

147
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,794
Mom, I won a free ticket!

148
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,019
Nice!

149
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,174
That means you're still
in the game, baby.

150
00:09:49,658 --> 00:09:52,191
Damn. I was so close again.

151
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,927
I think you're scratchin' too fast.

152
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:56,931
Try scratchin' a little slower.
That sometimes works for me.

153
00:10:01,346 --> 00:10:03,035
Fruity Bingo Millionaire?

154
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:06,455
I thought you said that any prize
over 20 bucks was impossible to win.

155
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,158
I've had to step up my game recently.

156
00:10:11,317 --> 00:10:12,658
Check it out.

157
00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:18,064
- Who's that?
- I met him online.

158
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,163
Jean Michel Duklon.

159
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,165
Sounds like a perfume.

160
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,713
It's French.

161
00:10:25,009 --> 00:10:28,400
He's got an accent that could
wet a saltine cracker.

162
00:10:28,556 --> 00:10:29,903
Gross.

163
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,015
He's definitely out of my league.

164
00:10:32,189 --> 00:10:35,353
But if I can get rich by the
time we meet in person,

165
00:10:35,452 --> 00:10:37,361
it should even the playing field.

166
00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:40,193
Plus, if I'm rich, you're rich.

167
00:10:40,228 --> 00:10:42,030
You won't have to steal as much.

168
00:10:42,056 --> 00:10:44,910
And most importantly, people
will stop lookin' down on us

169
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,521
like we're beneath them.

170
00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:48,635
Like we're a couple of clowns.

171
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,016
Damn!

172
00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:54,049
One banana shy.

173
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,067
Here.

174
00:10:56,151 --> 00:10:57,319
Free ticket.

175
00:10:57,377 --> 00:10:58,700
You're still in the game.

176
00:11:00,251 --> 00:11:01,923
Thanks, sweetie.

177
00:11:10,228 --> 00:11:12,313
Well, on the bright side, we
can't go to jail for this

178
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,398
because we technically
stole our own painting.

179
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,447
Buddy, how could you grab the wrong one?

180
00:11:16,473 --> 00:11:19,586
Because your old-ass mom made an
exact copy nobody could tell apart.

181
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,031
- Why the hell would she do that?
- Because we told her to.

182
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:24,976
Stop pickin' on him.
He's had a long night.

183
00:11:25,002 --> 00:11:26,166
Thanks, Mommy.

184
00:11:26,369 --> 00:11:28,882
I had to hitchhike home and I
can't raise my right thumb,

185
00:11:28,908 --> 00:11:31,577
so I had to use my left hand and
walk with my back to traffic.

186
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:34,265
You think only weirdos pick up hitchhikers?
Well, trust me,

187
00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:36,963
it takes a real wack job to
pick up a backwards one.

188
00:11:37,665 --> 00:11:40,251
She pulled over twice to
breastfeed her Cabbage Patch doll.

189
00:11:40,335 --> 00:11:43,161
It's okay, baby. If you would've
grabbed the right painting,

190
00:11:43,187 --> 00:11:44,887
we'd all be rich and never have to worry

191
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,783
about another thing again for
the rest of our lives, but...

192
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:51,211
- It's okay, baby.
- It doesn't make any sense.

193
00:11:51,237 --> 00:11:54,005
Why would the Congresswoman steal her
own art and replace it with fakes?

194
00:11:54,031 --> 00:11:57,140
Maybe she's leaving the old guy and this
is her way of getting around the prenup?

195
00:11:57,173 --> 00:11:59,730
Wouldn't blame her.
Can't be easy keepin' a lady boner

196
00:11:59,756 --> 00:12:02,680
while peelin' off your
lover's adult Pampers.

197
00:12:02,962 --> 00:12:04,882
You stay up late enough, you see it all.

198
00:12:04,908 --> 00:12:06,110
Could be an insurance scheme.

199
00:12:06,136 --> 00:12:08,979
Replace the art, light the house
on fire, and collect the cash?

200
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,133
Whatever it is, she's up to something.

201
00:12:12,297 --> 00:12:15,063
I say we blackmail her.

202
00:12:15,089 --> 00:12:16,919
Mom's awesome at blackmailing.

203
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,989
Tell 'em how you saw the mailman
sneaking out of the neighbor's house

204
00:12:19,015 --> 00:12:20,725
when her husband was out of town.

205
00:12:20,751 --> 00:12:22,985
She hasn't put a stamp on
a letter since. Tell 'em.

206
00:12:23,344 --> 00:12:26,462
Basically, what he said. I
just tell it a little funnier.

207
00:12:26,488 --> 00:12:28,639
We don't even know what the
Congresswoman is hiding.

208
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:32,084
So? I'll just keep watchin' the
cameras until she slips up.

209
00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:35,133
Trust me, blackmail is my specialty,

210
00:12:35,243 --> 00:12:37,852
along with casseroles, winemaking,

211
00:12:37,877 --> 00:12:39,442
and prostate play.

212
00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:41,094
Mom crushes that shit.

213
00:12:41,162 --> 00:12:42,705
He means the first three.

214
00:12:42,731 --> 00:12:44,629
We're not blackmailing a Congresswoman.

215
00:12:44,655 --> 00:12:46,326
- It's too risky.
- Way too risky.

216
00:12:46,352 --> 00:12:47,641
I see.

217
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:52,386
So, for weeks, Rooster and I just
blindly follow along with your plan,

218
00:12:52,412 --> 00:12:54,081
assuming you know what you're doing,

219
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,542
and now that it blew up in
your face, you're quitting?

220
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:59,503
I'm not quitting, Barb. It's
just, I'm a con artist.

221
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:02,407
I have standards. Blackmailing
is a little beneath me.

222
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,818
So, I'm beneath you.

223
00:13:04,844 --> 00:13:06,837
- Is that what you're sayin'?
- No, she didn't mean anything by it.

224
00:13:06,863 --> 00:13:08,279
I just don't think it's smart.

225
00:13:08,563 --> 00:13:11,724
- So you're callin' me stupid?
- I'll blackmail her with you, Mom.

226
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,079
Thank you. You see?

227
00:13:13,105 --> 00:13:16,546
Even Rooster thinks it's a good idea,
and he actually is a little slow.

228
00:13:16,572 --> 00:13:18,264
I'm sorry, Roo. I'm just makin' a point.

229
00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:19,465
Sorry for what?

230
00:13:19,491 --> 00:13:21,876
Why don't you just admit it?

231
00:13:22,026 --> 00:13:26,489
You look at me, and all
you see is a clown.

232
00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:29,059
No one's callin' anyone a clown.

233
00:13:29,085 --> 00:13:30,701
You know, maybe this is all a blessing.

234
00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:32,569
We didn't have a fence to
move the painting anyway.

235
00:13:32,595 --> 00:13:35,712
- I'm sorry. What?
- We would have found someone.

236
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,571
You knew about this? So,
you're keepin' secrets now?

237
00:13:39,597 --> 00:13:43,005
Well, I wouldn't call it a secret. I mean,
we haven't really had time to talk.

238
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,297
- Barb, you're being silly.
- Silly?

239
00:13:45,621 --> 00:13:49,520
My son may never be able to
open a pickle jar for me again,

240
00:13:49,546 --> 00:13:52,639
- and you didn't even have a buyer lined up?
- I had one,

241
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,444
but he got spooked when
he saw the cops in the front yard

242
00:13:55,470 --> 00:13:58,934
because you stole the neighbor's
fizzy water thing, like a dumbass!

243
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,132
There it is! Dumbass!

244
00:14:01,158 --> 00:14:03,108
I need to consult the encyclopedia,

245
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,527
but I think that might be
even worse than clown.

246
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,056
You know what? I think we're done here.

247
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,824
I agree. Let's all just
get a little sleep.

248
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,796
I think we're all a little
tired and stressed out.

249
00:14:12,822 --> 00:14:14,881
I, for one, would like a warm milk.

250
00:14:14,934 --> 00:14:17,796
- Anyone else like one?
- No, I mean we're done.

251
00:14:17,822 --> 00:14:20,235
I've been feedin' and
housin' you two for weeks,

252
00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:21,861
and what do I have to show for it?

253
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,538
I thought, at the very least, one of you

254
00:14:23,564 --> 00:14:26,176
might do something about that crow
that wakes me up every morning.

255
00:14:26,202 --> 00:14:29,105
But no, no, that's Barb's problem.

256
00:14:29,131 --> 00:14:32,888
And you, takin' this bitch's side
after all I've done for you.

257
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,444
Hey, watch who you're
calling a bitch, bitch!

258
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,104
Or not.

259
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,413
I think it's time for you to go.

260
00:14:42,685 --> 00:14:43,842
Yeah.

261
00:14:48,735 --> 00:14:52,733
And don't come askin' Rooster and
I for money when we're rich!

262
00:15:19,513 --> 00:15:20,973
Gloria, you up?

263
00:15:21,163 --> 00:15:22,743
Diamond, hold on.

264
00:15:22,979 --> 00:15:24,815
Yeah, baby, I'm up.

265
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,676
Diamond is givin' me a makeover

266
00:15:26,702 --> 00:15:28,832
'cause I had to join a
gang for protection.

267
00:15:28,965 --> 00:15:31,496
There's no mirrors in here,
but she says I look good.

268
00:15:31,522 --> 00:15:32,974
She looks hot as shit.

269
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,694
I'm sure you look great.

270
00:15:34,784 --> 00:15:37,811
What's that word you said young
guys use when they talk to girls?

271
00:15:38,495 --> 00:15:40,122
- Boo.
- Boo.

272
00:15:40,202 --> 00:15:41,949
I'm sure you look great, boo.

273
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:44,069
Hey, something's comin' your
way from the commissary.

274
00:15:44,095 --> 00:15:46,003
- Your favorite.
- Ooh, a Kit Kat?

275
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,561
Maybe. Keep an eye out, boo.

276
00:15:50,007 --> 00:15:51,884
Hey, I had a dream about you.

277
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:55,668
We were on the beach and
we were holding hands.

278
00:15:55,694 --> 00:15:58,057
And when I woke up, I was
holding my own hand.

279
00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:01,332
Aw, that's so sweet. I had a
dream about you too, boo.

280
00:16:01,358 --> 00:16:03,082
You're usin' it too much.

281
00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:04,480
We were getting married.

282
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:06,774
My parents were there.
They were so proud of me.

283
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,719
- And your sister was there too.
- That stuck-up puta was there?

284
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:13,431
Yeah, and she was so jealous about
how great your life was goin',

285
00:16:13,457 --> 00:16:15,476
she threw a plate of shrimp at you,

286
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:16,962
knocked the cake down,

287
00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:19,583
and then she started makin'
out with my Aunt Kathy.

288
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,350
Like I said, it was a dream.

289
00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:23,746
Still, I'd love to see that.

290
00:16:23,772 --> 00:16:26,277
Hey, unless your girlfriend wants
to talk to a real asshole,

291
00:16:26,303 --> 00:16:27,471
let's wrap it up.

292
00:16:27,497 --> 00:16:28,796
I gotta go, boo.

293
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,615
His celly has to go, poo.

294
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:32,508
Okay, hit me up later, Papi.

295
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:33,535
Okay.

296
00:16:35,248 --> 00:16:38,111
Girl, he's dreamin' of wifin' you.

297
00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:40,230
That fool is in love.

298
00:16:40,256 --> 00:16:41,975
He's not a fool.

299
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,881
He's just young and romantic.

300
00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:47,775
Damn. You fallin' in love too?

301
00:16:47,889 --> 00:16:49,038
No.

302
00:16:49,819 --> 00:16:51,209
I don't know.

303
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:52,514
Shut up.

304
00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,812
Hey, look! Kit-Kat rat!
Girl, you found your king!

305
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,546
Maybe we should've bought
food instead of liquor.

306
00:17:06,572 --> 00:17:07,960
Are you kidding me?

307
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,828
When a job this big dies,

308
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:12,272
you don't have a snack, you have a wake.

309
00:17:15,616 --> 00:17:17,203
Whiskey's harsh, isn't it?

310
00:17:17,344 --> 00:17:18,887
You've never had whiskey before?

311
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,832
I was a kid when I got into prison.

312
00:17:21,022 --> 00:17:24,294
Back then, I didn't think it got any
better than Natty Boh and Zima.

313
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,380
Well, today you become a man.

314
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,762
Not a rich man, unfortunately.

315
00:17:29,788 --> 00:17:31,631
I never wanted to be rich.

316
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,897
I just wanted to... be.

317
00:17:36,118 --> 00:17:39,204
I thought my parents were
finally gonna be proud of me.

318
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,616
I was gonna swoop in like a hero,

319
00:17:41,642 --> 00:17:43,881
get 'em out of that retirement home.

320
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,399
Now I gotta call them and ask for money.

321
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,006
Yeah, I hear you.

322
00:17:48,139 --> 00:17:50,487
I'm gonna have to call
my perfect little sister

323
00:17:50,513 --> 00:17:54,296
and listen to her give me an
earful of judgmental shit.

324
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:03,124
Actually, I am hungry. Maybe
whiskey was a mistake.

325
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,020
I have something for you.

326
00:18:05,046 --> 00:18:08,139
I was savin' it as a celebration for
when we finished the job, but...

327
00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:11,694
I know you don't love it when
I bring up us in prison.

328
00:18:13,037 --> 00:18:14,171
But...

329
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,796
I'm gonna let this one slide.

330
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,147
Come on, we have to
find a Western Union.

331
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,881
Hey, those things break into
pieces if you feel like sharin'.

332
00:18:35,669 --> 00:18:37,678
Got the car back.

333
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,772
Cost me more than it was worth,

334
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:44,514
but can't put a price on the place
where you birthed your baby boy.

335
00:18:45,262 --> 00:18:47,270
Almost birthed your baby boy.

336
00:18:47,296 --> 00:18:49,460
I sneezed while I was pushin' you out,

337
00:18:49,485 --> 00:18:51,217
you caught air,

338
00:18:51,436 --> 00:18:54,350
and your head landed in the
parking lot of a Denny's.

339
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:55,897
Whatcha doin'?

340
00:18:56,319 --> 00:18:58,788
Droppin' eyes on this house.

341
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,358
- Pretty fancy, huh?
- Right.

342
00:19:01,503 --> 00:19:03,170
Hey, check this out.

343
00:19:04,662 --> 00:19:06,905
Cameras have speakers.

344
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,936
House, turn on the lights.

345
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:13,472
Holy shit. The house understands you.

346
00:19:13,498 --> 00:19:16,147
Tell it to dance. I saw
that in a cartoon once.

347
00:19:19,476 --> 00:19:20,710
Oh, baby...

348
00:19:21,209 --> 00:19:23,678
It can only do certain things.

349
00:19:23,749 --> 00:19:27,874
But it can turn on the TV, we
can make it hotter or colder.

350
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,519
Hell, even has a gadget where
you can spy on the dog

351
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,338
and make it give it a treat.

352
00:19:32,364 --> 00:19:34,983
House, give the dog a treat.

353
00:19:39,795 --> 00:19:41,061
Robots.

354
00:19:41,804 --> 00:19:43,741
Gloria doesn't know this,

355
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,842
but I changed the address
on their Postmates account.

356
00:19:46,944 --> 00:19:50,457
Sometimes, late at
night, I whisper to it

357
00:19:50,483 --> 00:19:53,750
and somebody brings me French
fries while I watch their HBO.

358
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,928
I have to watch it with the sound
off so I don't wake 'em up,

359
00:19:57,053 --> 00:19:59,639
so it's kind of hard to follow, but...

360
00:19:59,722 --> 00:20:03,577
I think some hobbit dude is
gettin' ready to hump a dragon.

361
00:20:05,881 --> 00:20:08,150
Thanks. Appreciate it.

362
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,155
Twenty-five cents less I
have to ask my parents for.

363
00:20:12,181 --> 00:20:13,963
I might as well get this over with.

364
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,840
How much money are you
gonna ask them for?

365
00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:17,659
Maybe, like, 500?

366
00:20:17,685 --> 00:20:19,886
That might get me a bus
ticket to San Diego,

367
00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:23,115
and hopefully this virus thing won't last
too long so I can sleep on their floor.

368
00:20:23,141 --> 00:20:24,947
- Why?
- I don't know.

369
00:20:25,238 --> 00:20:26,992
As long as you're asking,

370
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,845
maybe you can ask for a
thousand and then give me half?

371
00:20:31,579 --> 00:20:35,693
What? I'm just saying, there's no
need for both of us to be humiliated.

372
00:20:35,719 --> 00:20:37,836
That's a solid plan. Tiny tweak, though.

373
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,797
Why don't you call your
sister and give me half?

374
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:44,275
Because your parents are
kind and sweet and love you.

375
00:20:44,428 --> 00:20:46,055
Last time I borrowed
money from my sister,

376
00:20:46,081 --> 00:20:49,587
she included it in the family
Christmas card update.

377
00:20:50,212 --> 00:20:52,063
- Rock, paper, scissors?
- Fine.

378
00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:53,907
Best two out of three.

379
00:20:55,199 --> 00:20:56,329
Ready?

380
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:00,634
Okay.

381
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:21,879
What the hell.

382
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,051
Probably never see you again.

383
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,832
That's not social distancing.

384
00:21:48,797 --> 00:21:50,299
Paula Tackleberry?

385
00:21:51,698 --> 00:21:53,152
She's in the shower.

386
00:21:57,103 --> 00:22:01,332
Careful, sweetheart. Looks like Lucia
waxed the floors while we were away.

387
00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:02,905
Ma, they're home!

388
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,532
I'll be down in a minute!

389
00:22:04,558 --> 00:22:07,425
I'm tryin' to apologize to
God for killin' that crow,

390
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,662
and he keeps changin' the subject!

391
00:22:10,731 --> 00:22:13,348
Hey, little buddy. You
like those treats, huh?

392
00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:15,934
You want another one? You
want another treat, buddy?

393
00:22:16,614 --> 00:22:20,418
Hey, Where'd you go? Thought
you wanted another treat.

394
00:22:22,448 --> 00:22:25,114
House, give the dog a treat.

395
00:22:25,407 --> 00:22:27,317
Come on, come get your treat.

396
00:22:48,402 --> 00:22:49,613
How do I look?

397
00:22:49,746 --> 00:22:50,872
It's a phone call.

398
00:22:50,898 --> 00:22:52,785
You could've just said great.

399
00:22:53,437 --> 00:22:55,996
- I really appreciate you...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

400
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:59,561
- Hello?
- Hi, it's me. It's Gloria... me.

401
00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:01,730
Are you drunk? It's the
middle of the day.

402
00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:03,582
No, I'm not. I'm...

403
00:23:03,608 --> 00:23:05,629
I have a question...

404
00:23:06,828 --> 00:23:08,723
Do you think you could...

405
00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:12,975
- Is there any way you could...
- Gloria, this isn't really a great time.

406
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:14,861
I'm volunteering at the food pantry.

407
00:23:14,887 --> 00:23:16,400
Did you get arrested again?

408
00:23:16,426 --> 00:23:18,472
- 'Cause I'm not gonna...
- No, I'm not in jail.

409
00:23:18,723 --> 00:23:22,285
It's complicated, okay? I...
Just, I... I need...

410
00:23:22,418 --> 00:23:24,269
Bye, Anna. You suck.

411
00:23:25,332 --> 00:23:27,782
- What are you doing?
- You don't have to ask her.

412
00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,793
Are you gonna ask your parents?

413
00:23:29,932 --> 00:23:31,266
No.

414
00:23:32,606 --> 00:23:34,606
I have a better idea.

415
00:23:37,919 --> 00:23:39,636
You sure this is safe?

416
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:41,309
Don't worry.

417
00:23:41,559 --> 00:23:44,215
Someone told me exactly
how to rob this house.

418
00:23:44,241 --> 00:23:45,293
Who?

419
00:23:49,111 --> 00:23:50,269
Her.

420
00:23:54,268 --> 00:23:55,504
Hey.

421
00:23:55,645 --> 00:23:58,604
Rooster's talkin' about watchin'
a movie if you're interested.

422
00:23:58,630 --> 00:24:00,676
No can do.

423
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:05,559
Jean-Michel Duklon and I do all
of our sexy texting on Sundays.

424
00:24:05,605 --> 00:24:08,364
The Lord rests on the seventh day,

425
00:24:08,590 --> 00:24:12,614
so I like to get my naughtiest
when he's not lookin'.

426
00:24:12,736 --> 00:24:14,623
It gets pretty wild.

427
00:24:14,696 --> 00:24:16,629
I have a safe emoji.

428
00:24:16,827 --> 00:24:20,762
If you see a sock on the
bedroom door, do not disturb.

429
00:24:32,841 --> 00:24:34,572
And here's the bathroom.

430
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,726
You'll wanna do your
showering during the day.

431
00:24:36,752 --> 00:24:38,700
That window doesn't fully close,

432
00:24:38,848 --> 00:24:41,130
so your willy is gonna
get chilly at night.

433
00:24:58,340 --> 00:25:00,784
_

434
00:25:02,775 --> 00:25:04,730
If you wake up in the night,

435
00:25:04,851 --> 00:25:07,613
make sure you step on the right stains.

436
00:25:07,639 --> 00:25:10,308
Otherwise, the stairs will squeak

437
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:13,378
and you'll wake up the whole damn house.

438
00:25:29,316 --> 00:25:31,280
I hope that's everything.

439
00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:33,115
We have to load up your bank account.

440
00:25:33,141 --> 00:25:35,433
Don't worry, it's all here.

441
00:25:35,774 --> 00:25:39,832
All except my emergency health fund.

442
00:25:54,936 --> 00:25:57,890
If you're hungry, I hide all the
snack foods under the sink,

443
00:25:57,916 --> 00:26:00,053
or Rooster eats it all in one day.

444
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,944
You're gonna wanna be careful, though.

445
00:26:05,301 --> 00:26:08,249
Pay attention to the first couple bites.

446
00:26:08,444 --> 00:26:11,507
If the jerky tastes like
bleach, there's been a leak.

447
00:26:56,539 --> 00:26:59,836
- What the hell, man?
- What the hell are you doing in here?

448
00:27:00,430 --> 00:27:02,685
- I couldn't fall asleep.
- Oh, my God.

449
00:27:02,711 --> 00:27:05,640
So, Mom drove me around until I
passed out like when I was a baby.

450
00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:08,087
But now I'm too big to carry inside.

451
00:27:08,113 --> 00:27:10,492
What the hell is goin' on?

452
00:27:11,812 --> 00:27:13,731
Are you two stealin' my car?

453
00:27:13,822 --> 00:27:15,282
And my snacks?

454
00:27:15,308 --> 00:27:16,849
And my son?

455
00:27:16,882 --> 00:27:18,834
Well, what did you expect, Barb?

456
00:27:18,860 --> 00:27:20,678
You kicked us out of the
house without any money.

457
00:27:20,704 --> 00:27:23,841
We gotta survive somehow. I was about
to fight a pigeon over a Dorito.

458
00:27:23,867 --> 00:27:27,414
It was either rob you or call
our families and beg for money.

459
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,248
We didn't wanna look like failures.

460
00:27:29,274 --> 00:27:32,031
- We didn't want them to think that we were...
- Beneath them?

461
00:27:32,094 --> 00:27:33,706
Like they're better than you?

462
00:27:33,732 --> 00:27:35,649
Like you're a couple of clowns?

463
00:27:35,675 --> 00:27:37,198
Like exactly what you did to me

464
00:27:37,224 --> 00:27:39,341
in case you're not pickin'
up what I'm puttin' down?

465
00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:40,836
No, I get it.

466
00:27:41,077 --> 00:27:42,546
I'm sorry. You're right.

467
00:27:42,572 --> 00:27:44,242
I shouldn't have said those things.

468
00:27:46,673 --> 00:27:47,922
Well, it just...

469
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:51,545
kinda stung a little 'cause
I thought we were gal pals.

470
00:27:51,769 --> 00:27:53,897
We are. We are.

471
00:27:53,923 --> 00:27:56,539
And I don't think that
I'm better than you.

472
00:27:56,711 --> 00:27:58,505
If anything, you're better than me.

473
00:27:58,531 --> 00:28:01,469
I wouldn't have welcomed
convicts into my home,

474
00:28:01,556 --> 00:28:03,740
clothed them, fed them...

475
00:28:03,766 --> 00:28:06,071
Put Jolly Ranchers on
their pillows at night.

476
00:28:06,813 --> 00:28:09,371
What? You haven't done
that for me in years.

477
00:28:09,397 --> 00:28:12,500
You don't suck 'em fast enough and you end
up with half a Rancher in your mouth,

478
00:28:12,526 --> 00:28:15,263
- and it's a choking hazard.
- That's true. I am a slow sucker.

479
00:28:15,289 --> 00:28:17,680
Look, the point is,

480
00:28:18,172 --> 00:28:20,414
we are really lucky to have met you.

481
00:28:20,524 --> 00:28:23,994
And if you think that blackmailing
the Congresswoman is a good idea,

482
00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:28,014
- then I am more than happy...
- I don't just think it's a good idea. I know it's a good idea.

483
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,709
Wait till you see what
Rooster found out. Come on.

484
00:28:37,209 --> 00:28:40,052
House, give the dog a treat.

485
00:28:43,452 --> 00:28:44,557
Shit.

486
00:28:44,583 --> 00:28:45,999
What the hell was...

487
00:28:46,577 --> 00:28:48,686
No, no, no!

488
00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:50,561
- Boy.
- What happened?

489
00:28:56,163 --> 00:28:58,102
I think I broke my ankle.

490
00:28:58,137 --> 00:29:01,561
Your stupid dog knocked
over the Getsenburg!

491
00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:05,035
Honey, honey, calm down. You're
gonna have another heart attack.

492
00:29:05,088 --> 00:29:07,215
If he's gonna die, I
don't wanna watch this.

493
00:29:07,329 --> 00:29:08,436
It's fake.

494
00:29:08,678 --> 00:29:10,631
I replaced all the art.

495
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:13,309
The real stuff's in the condo in New York.
I'm gonna sell it.

496
00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:15,812
Did you tell me this before?
Am I losing my mind?

497
00:29:15,838 --> 00:29:17,548
No, I didn't tell you for your own good.

498
00:29:17,574 --> 00:29:20,303
Remember how nervous you got when
I told you I used insider trading

499
00:29:20,329 --> 00:29:22,741
- to get out of the stock market?
- Oh, yeah.

500
00:29:22,767 --> 00:29:24,197
Had a heart attack.

501
00:29:24,231 --> 00:29:27,509
- Had to start wearing diapers.
- Told ya. Adult Pampers.

502
00:29:27,535 --> 00:29:29,159
Now, try to stay calm.

503
00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:31,439
I figured out a way to
save and make a fortune.

504
00:29:31,465 --> 00:29:33,439
Right after we approve the vaccine,

505
00:29:33,522 --> 00:29:37,234
I'll know exactly which drug companies
to invest in before anyone else.

506
00:29:37,318 --> 00:29:38,694
This bitch is evil.

507
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:42,172
But the IRS is already all
over us for that last deal.

508
00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:46,843
Which is why I had our housekeeper
open up an account in her name,

509
00:29:46,869 --> 00:29:51,415
giving us full access so we can
contribute to her kid's college fund.

510
00:29:51,499 --> 00:29:54,001
We'll run it all through there.
That way, if we get caught...

511
00:29:54,027 --> 00:29:57,502
It'll look like the
housekeeper robbed us.

512
00:29:57,958 --> 00:29:59,043
Bingo!

513
00:29:59,743 --> 00:30:01,025
Come here!

514
00:30:03,924 --> 00:30:07,431
What'd I tell you? She's dirty as
hell and we've got it all on tape.

515
00:30:07,457 --> 00:30:10,314
I bet you we could blackmail
her for 200 grand.

516
00:30:10,340 --> 00:30:14,165
We should get the dog too. I can
tell he's tired of all the drama.

517
00:30:16,299 --> 00:30:19,038
- Forget the blackmail.
- What are you talkin' about?

518
00:30:19,064 --> 00:30:21,445
- You heard what she said. She...
- I heard.

519
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,502
She's liquidating all their art,

520
00:30:23,528 --> 00:30:26,721
lying to her housekeeper about
some bogus college fund,

521
00:30:26,747 --> 00:30:28,830
and using inside information to get rich

522
00:30:28,856 --> 00:30:30,999
while the people who voted for her die.

523
00:30:31,025 --> 00:30:32,254
I heard.

524
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,208
We're not gonna blackmail her.

525
00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:35,911
We're gonna make sure she
doesn't get away with it,

526
00:30:35,937 --> 00:30:38,855
and steal every dime she
has while we're at it.

527
00:30:39,083 --> 00:30:41,442
This just turned into a bank robbery.

528
00:30:41,942 --> 00:30:46,011
Could you check and see if I have
any Cialis left in my system?

529
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:47,569
Cialis?

530
00:30:55,489 --> 00:30:56,920
I can work with it.

531
00:30:56,946 --> 00:30:59,130
You're gonna wanna turn this off.

532
00:31:02,763 --> 00:31:09,794
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