1 00:00:17,532 --> 00:00:19,220 -- Addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,609 Okay. I got the almond milk for Benicio. 3 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,292 Ah! 4 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,620 Ah! 5 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,998 Always with the dead ends. 6 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,418 Why are you still chasing me? 7 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:44,801 I'm a different person now. 8 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,921 I haven't been in a dark alley in forever. 9 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,591 Come on, I'm a stay-at-home dad. 10 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,468 I mean, I'm not their "Dad." 11 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,969 I'm not trying to replace him. 12 00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:55,012 Unless one day they asked me. 13 00:00:55,036 --> 00:00:57,724 I mean, that would mean the world to me. 14 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:03,772 You know, we missed you at the school bake sale. 15 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,648 All the parents took a vote. 16 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:09,611 Your lemon squares sucked and you're gonna die. 17 00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:16,159 Que paso, corazon? 18 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,077 Did you have another Debbie nightmare? 19 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,496 Yes. 20 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,289 Aww... mi amor. 21 00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,124 Did you have the chorizo dream? 22 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,210 No, she didn't try to cut off my penis, 23 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,003 and serve it at a book fair again. 24 00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:30,340 But I haven't had a decent night's sleep in weeks! 25 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:36,137 Bethany... this Debbie may be my most challenging enemy yet. 26 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:39,682 ? I used to think life was a tragedy ? 27 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,977 ? An agent of Chaos was all I could be ? 28 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:46,856 ? But I found a best friend who completes me ? 29 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,610 ? And now I realize life's a comedy ? 30 00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:54,197 ? Wait 'til they get a load of us ? 31 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,867 ? No one will ask "Why so serious?" ? 32 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,162 ? All it takes is a joke a day ? 33 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:05,208 ? To keep the gloom away ? 34 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,419 ? We live in a society ? 35 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:12,382 ? But, baby, it feels like it's just you and me ? 36 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:16,052 ? I think you and I are destined to do this ? 37 00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:17,887 ? Forever ? 38 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,598 ? Wait 'til they get a load of us ? 39 00:02:22,306 --> 00:02:23,606 Good morning, Janice. 40 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,604 How is the most beautiful school receptionist? 41 00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:28,508 Oh, you! 42 00:02:28,591 --> 00:02:30,677 Oops! Let me turn this off. 43 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,345 I was just sneaking my shows. 44 00:02:32,428 --> 00:02:34,097 But who needs TV when you've got 45 00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:36,474 Gotham City's most infamous criminal mastermind 46 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,726 turned sane bartender turned back into unhinged 47 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,895 but now equally charming psychopath. 48 00:02:40,979 --> 00:02:43,356 Janice, please. 49 00:02:43,439 --> 00:02:47,610 I'm just plain ol' Benicio and Sophia's stepdad. 50 00:02:47,694 --> 00:02:49,862 Speaking of, do you have the student list 51 00:02:49,946 --> 00:02:52,365 for the new Spanish dual immersion program? 52 00:02:52,448 --> 00:02:56,077 It's so important to us that our kids get a bilingual education. 53 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:01,207 Well, I'm not really supposed to show this list until next week. 54 00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:03,501 - I don't know... - Mmm. 55 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:06,295 Oh, you know, I can't say no to you. 56 00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:07,679 Here it is. 57 00:03:08,214 --> 00:03:10,967 - Ah... - Morning! 58 00:03:12,427 --> 00:03:14,554 The New Spanish dual immersion student list. 59 00:03:14,637 --> 00:03:16,556 I think we're all very excited to see that 60 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,474 Madison and McKenna got in, am I right? 61 00:03:18,558 --> 00:03:19,434 Am I right? 62 00:03:19,517 --> 00:03:21,060 Your kids got in? 63 00:03:21,144 --> 00:03:23,396 Now we're gonna know if the maids are talking about us 64 00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:25,189 when we're on vacation in Cancun. 65 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,900 And I can't help it if I have connections 66 00:03:27,984 --> 00:03:29,652 on the election board. 67 00:03:29,736 --> 00:03:31,070 Better luck next year, 68 00:03:31,154 --> 00:03:34,657 or as my maid says, "escupo en tu comida." 69 00:03:37,493 --> 00:03:39,120 You've got to be kidding me. 70 00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:42,290 You wasted $400 million on ads! 71 00:03:42,373 --> 00:03:44,751 And another million on custom Pez? 72 00:03:44,834 --> 00:03:47,462 - People love Pez. - No one loves Pez. 73 00:03:47,545 --> 00:03:49,547 You don't need this stuff to win. 74 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:52,633 In the debates, you can just tell people directly 75 00:03:52,717 --> 00:03:55,845 your plans for Gotham and what you stand for. 76 00:03:55,928 --> 00:03:57,288 Also, I've been meaning to ask you. 77 00:03:57,312 --> 00:04:00,349 - What do you stand for? - Well, it's, um... 78 00:04:01,017 --> 00:04:05,023 I... stand... 79 00:04:05,354 --> 00:04:07,315 Don't worry your pretty little heart. 80 00:04:07,398 --> 00:04:10,485 I'll teach him how to trail off like a pro. 81 00:04:15,865 --> 00:04:17,450 Ha! 82 00:04:17,533 --> 00:04:19,786 Are you still upset about the dual immersion program? 83 00:04:19,869 --> 00:04:21,621 Yes, it's so unfair! 84 00:04:21,704 --> 00:04:25,083 This program would really help the kids embrace their heritage. 85 00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:28,878 You know, one time, I picked Benicio up from soccer practice, 86 00:04:28,961 --> 00:04:31,923 and I heard some other kids mocking his name. 87 00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:34,258 This program would offer him something 88 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:37,178 I can't give him. More self-confidence. 89 00:04:37,261 --> 00:04:40,640 The opportunity to feel a sense of pride in his name. 90 00:04:40,723 --> 00:04:43,101 A great boost on his transcript 91 00:04:43,184 --> 00:04:46,187 for when he applies to early admission at Oberlin. 92 00:04:46,270 --> 00:04:47,772 Always you with Oberlin. 93 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,941 Dinnertime! 94 00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:51,818 Hey, mister, that's strike two. 95 00:04:51,901 --> 00:04:53,486 You pop off like that again, we're gonna cross swords. 96 00:04:53,569 --> 00:04:55,613 I'm all about changing Gotham for the better. 97 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,950 And if I'm lying, may God strike you down. 98 00:05:02,328 --> 00:05:05,331 You know the rules. There's no TV during dinner. 99 00:05:05,414 --> 00:05:09,460 - I think we just saw someone die. - Sure did, buddy. 100 00:05:09,544 --> 00:05:12,672 So, say we couldn't get into the dual immersion program. 101 00:05:12,755 --> 00:05:15,466 What's another thing you guys are interested in, huh? 102 00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:18,594 Uh, what about art or soccer? 103 00:05:18,678 --> 00:05:22,723 It's never too early to get into kinesiology, Benicio. 104 00:05:22,807 --> 00:05:25,518 Uh, can I just go by "Ben"? 105 00:05:25,601 --> 00:05:28,312 I don't want to stand out in school. 106 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:32,692 That's it! Debbie is gonna get a tire iron straight into the... 107 00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:34,944 Bethany, no, trust me. 108 00:05:35,027 --> 00:05:37,572 I know how to deal with arch enemies. 109 00:05:37,655 --> 00:05:42,243 I'm cooking up something extra special for Debbie. 110 00:05:47,391 --> 00:05:50,606 _ 111 00:06:03,806 --> 00:06:06,352 Hey, Debbie. Nice parking spot. 112 00:06:06,392 --> 00:06:10,313 - So, you're a VIP, huh? - Uh, yes, I am. 113 00:06:10,396 --> 00:06:12,899 Because I have a very important job. 114 00:06:12,982 --> 00:06:15,276 And I need a very important spot. 115 00:06:15,359 --> 00:06:18,321 - What do you want? - Listen, I just wanted to show 116 00:06:18,404 --> 00:06:21,908 my appreciation for you, and all you do. 117 00:06:21,991 --> 00:06:26,913 It's arroz con pollo from mi casa to su casa. 118 00:06:26,996 --> 00:06:30,416 Mmm-hmm. And is that an ethnic dish, or... 119 00:06:30,499 --> 00:06:33,085 It sure is "ethnic." 120 00:06:33,169 --> 00:06:36,262 Speaking of racist, I couldn't help but think 121 00:06:36,339 --> 00:06:38,382 about the dual immersion program, 122 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:41,427 and how amazing it would be if you could pull some strings. 123 00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:45,223 Oh, I see. So you and your strong smelling dish 124 00:06:45,306 --> 00:06:46,933 are trying to bribe me. Is that it? 125 00:06:47,016 --> 00:06:48,696 Is that what you're trying to do? Bribe me? 126 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,770 Strong smelling? 127 00:06:50,853 --> 00:06:52,605 No. 128 00:06:52,688 --> 00:06:54,899 It's just that there are only 24 spots 129 00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:57,944 in the program for all of Gotham's school district, 130 00:06:58,027 --> 00:07:00,655 and I know you have friends on the committee. 131 00:07:00,738 --> 00:07:02,281 Mmm. Oh, okay. 132 00:07:02,365 --> 00:07:03,605 So, you're threatening me, then. 133 00:07:03,658 --> 00:07:05,201 Didn't you use to blow things up? 134 00:07:05,284 --> 00:07:08,829 Oh, no... 135 00:07:08,913 --> 00:07:12,750 That was over a year ago? That's the old me. 136 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,543 The only thing I'm blowing up here 137 00:07:14,627 --> 00:07:17,713 is your waistline with my yummy dish. 138 00:07:17,797 --> 00:07:20,737 Aw... I think it's so cute that you're out here trying 139 00:07:20,738 --> 00:07:23,552 to do stuff for your kids. It's a adorable. 140 00:07:23,636 --> 00:07:26,514 I so wish I could help you, but it's just out of my hands, 141 00:07:26,597 --> 00:07:28,307 and I guess it's out of your hands, too. 142 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,395 Whose hands would you say it's in? 143 00:07:32,478 --> 00:07:34,105 Well, the city sets the budget, 144 00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:36,524 so I'd take it up with them or the mayor. 145 00:07:36,607 --> 00:07:41,411 Oh, but no, I guess he just died. Oh, boo-hoo. 146 00:07:41,487 --> 00:07:43,327 Well, I guess you're just gonna have to go down 147 00:07:43,351 --> 00:07:44,824 to City Hall and file a complaint. 148 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:51,411 Oh, I'll file a fucking complaint. 149 00:07:52,456 --> 00:07:55,084 Oh, my God, there were bones in this. 150 00:07:55,222 --> 00:07:58,452 _ 151 00:07:58,462 --> 00:07:59,672 Whoo! We did it! 152 00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:02,383 Dad! Congrats on being the only candidate 153 00:08:02,466 --> 00:08:03,986 to not die tonight. But don't you think 154 00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:05,678 it's a little premature to be celebrating? 155 00:08:05,761 --> 00:08:07,847 Barbara, the opposition is dead. 156 00:08:07,930 --> 00:08:09,932 Winning by default is a bigger victory 157 00:08:10,016 --> 00:08:11,316 than I could have dreamed of. 158 00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:14,395 Boo! 159 00:08:14,478 --> 00:08:16,731 Dad, you still haven't even figured out 160 00:08:16,814 --> 00:08:18,024 your plan for Gotham. 161 00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:20,443 Gordy, remember your trail off training? 162 00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:21,694 I'm glad you asked that. 163 00:08:21,777 --> 00:08:26,032 - I guess the... - Dad. I know you love Gotham, 164 00:08:26,115 --> 00:08:28,275 and there are tons of things that are important to you. 165 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,911 So just make that the plan. 166 00:08:30,995 --> 00:08:32,621 What do you even believe in, Dad? 167 00:08:32,705 --> 00:08:35,624 As Reagan once said, uh... 168 00:08:44,675 --> 00:08:46,676 The old Joker is back. Get two cameras on him. 169 00:08:46,719 --> 00:08:48,220 Where's the chopper cam? 170 00:08:48,304 --> 00:08:51,057 Attention, Gotham City. 171 00:08:51,140 --> 00:08:53,476 I've had it with your shit. 172 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,562 I tried being a villain that didn't work. 173 00:08:56,645 --> 00:09:00,441 I tried being a good stepdad. That didn't work. 174 00:09:00,524 --> 00:09:04,570 I tried meditation and then... Actually, that almost worked 175 00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:06,906 until the app I was using started charging. 176 00:09:06,989 --> 00:09:10,910 Yet the city remains a hateful asshole. 177 00:09:10,993 --> 00:09:14,163 That's why things are going to change right now! 178 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,585 He's pointing it at me! 179 00:09:23,506 --> 00:09:26,926 I'm running for mayor! 180 00:09:31,389 --> 00:09:32,848 Less than 24 hours ago, 181 00:09:32,932 --> 00:09:35,184 Joker announced he was running for mayor. 182 00:09:35,267 --> 00:09:37,103 Today, we are following Joker 183 00:09:37,186 --> 00:09:39,188 and his goons to the Gotham Bank. 184 00:09:39,271 --> 00:09:41,148 For what? We're not sure. 185 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:43,150 I'm Suave with Thrice TV. 186 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,994 Can you tell us what you're doing here today? 187 00:09:45,027 --> 00:09:48,697 Some mayoral candidates take bribes from big money. 188 00:09:48,781 --> 00:09:52,284 I'm skipping the bribe part, and just taking the money, 189 00:09:52,368 --> 00:09:54,703 and giving it back to the citizens. 190 00:09:54,787 --> 00:09:56,539 Here's your money shot! 191 00:09:59,708 --> 00:10:01,460 Oh, wow. Ha! 192 00:10:01,544 --> 00:10:04,463 Hey, what do you hope to accomplish as mayor of Gotham? 193 00:10:04,547 --> 00:10:07,341 Well, to start, education reform. 194 00:10:07,425 --> 00:10:09,009 Every child should have the choice 195 00:10:09,093 --> 00:10:12,513 to be in a dual immersion class and be bilingual. 196 00:10:12,596 --> 00:10:14,723 I also want free universal health care. 197 00:10:14,807 --> 00:10:17,476 Do you think Arkham would have a three-year wait list 198 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,147 if everyone had access to free mental health services? 199 00:10:21,230 --> 00:10:25,443 And the rich one-percenters are gonna pay for it all. 200 00:10:25,526 --> 00:10:28,863 Big changes are gonna happen. 201 00:10:31,615 --> 00:10:32,915 Damn it, Gary. 202 00:10:32,992 --> 00:10:36,537 I said we're not doing the stupid Reservoir Dogs thing. 203 00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:38,372 You want the rich to pay for all this? 204 00:10:38,456 --> 00:10:39,874 Are you like a socialist? 205 00:10:39,957 --> 00:10:44,795 I'm not like a socialist. I am a socialist. 206 00:10:44,879 --> 00:10:49,175 And together, we're gonna fix this city. 207 00:10:50,759 --> 00:10:53,471 I'm sorry. I thought you were ready for that. 208 00:10:53,554 --> 00:10:54,680 We locked eyes, 209 00:10:54,763 --> 00:10:56,849 I... You were looking right here. Wh... 210 00:10:56,932 --> 00:11:00,186 This is our money! Our Gotham. 211 00:11:00,269 --> 00:11:02,646 This, this has to be some sort of trap. 212 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,190 It's Joker, for crap's sake. 213 00:11:04,273 --> 00:11:07,318 He's Batman's arch-enemy, and I'm Batman's best friend. 214 00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:10,362 - Hmm. - I just thought it should be said. 215 00:11:10,446 --> 00:11:12,406 I just don't get it. Why do people love him? 216 00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:14,200 Because he has good policies. 217 00:11:14,283 --> 00:11:17,119 Jesus, you need to start wearing bangles or something 218 00:11:17,203 --> 00:11:18,843 'cause I never know when you're in a room. 219 00:11:18,871 --> 00:11:22,374 Joker's preaching policies like free health care, free tuition. 220 00:11:22,458 --> 00:11:24,877 Oh, God, is my own daughter some kind of Jo-Bro? 221 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,296 They prefer to be called "Sane Clown Posse," 222 00:11:27,379 --> 00:11:28,679 and I'm not a Jo-Bro. 223 00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,883 What we need to do is fight dirtier than 224 00:11:30,966 --> 00:11:32,593 we've ever fought before. 225 00:11:32,676 --> 00:11:35,387 Do something truly diabolical. 226 00:11:35,471 --> 00:11:39,308 No, I'm drawing a line. Dad, I believe in you. 227 00:11:39,391 --> 00:11:40,809 A mayor needs policies 228 00:11:40,893 --> 00:11:42,269 and to be able to make decisions. 229 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:45,773 Well, I want you to make a decision right now. 230 00:11:45,856 --> 00:11:48,275 Fire Two-Face as your campaign manager. 231 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,569 If you don't, I can't support you. 232 00:11:50,653 --> 00:11:54,406 - It's him or me. You got to choose. - Nepotism. 233 00:11:54,490 --> 00:11:56,890 Oh, man! What is it with women in this family and ultimatums? 234 00:11:56,914 --> 00:11:58,214 Dad, choose! 235 00:11:58,244 --> 00:12:01,080 Babs, sweetie. Things aren't so black and white. 236 00:12:01,163 --> 00:12:03,040 There's shades of gray, I don't have to choose 237 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,709 Two-Face or you, I can choose Two-Face, then you. 238 00:12:06,669 --> 00:12:09,922 I'm so close to winning! I've never said that before. 239 00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:11,245 The ends will justify the means, 240 00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,259 - I swear. - It's crazy. 241 00:12:13,342 --> 00:12:16,053 She's so quiet, you can't even hear her walk. 242 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,389 Okay, when we talked to Joker's hostages, 243 00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:20,432 - some of their comments were... - Dad, can you... 244 00:12:20,456 --> 00:12:23,519 Kids stop, they're talking about me again. 245 00:12:23,602 --> 00:12:24,902 I wasn't gonna vote before. 246 00:12:24,979 --> 00:12:26,564 But after hearing about his plans 247 00:12:26,647 --> 00:12:29,650 for universal health care, I will now. 248 00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:30,776 Also, he's kind of hot. 249 00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:32,160 Oh, moi? 250 00:12:32,236 --> 00:12:35,197 Did you hear that, honey? People think I'm hot. 251 00:12:35,281 --> 00:12:37,950 Yeah, he's kind of hot in like a David... 252 00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:43,122 Augh! But... David who? Spade? Tennant? 253 00:12:43,205 --> 00:12:45,165 Cono. No TV at the dinner table. 254 00:12:45,249 --> 00:12:46,625 This was your rule, remember? 255 00:12:46,709 --> 00:12:48,961 You wanted us to talk like a family, remember? 256 00:12:49,044 --> 00:12:50,921 Yes, yes, yeah. 257 00:12:51,005 --> 00:12:52,381 Yes, yes. 258 00:12:52,464 --> 00:12:55,634 So, does anyone else want to talk about their day? 259 00:12:55,718 --> 00:12:58,345 Today, the teacher said that dinosaurs died out 260 00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:01,348 - because they didn't have religion. - That's exciting. 261 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:03,267 You want to know something else exciting. 262 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:06,979 My favorite toilet read, Vanity Fair called! 263 00:13:07,062 --> 00:13:09,690 Radhika, the editor wants to feature me 264 00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:12,735 in her series about political game-changers. 265 00:13:12,818 --> 00:13:16,122 Me, a political game-changer. 266 00:13:16,157 --> 00:13:18,991 Dad, you're still coming to my soccer game tomorrow, right? 267 00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:22,161 What? Oh, the game! Oh! 268 00:13:22,244 --> 00:13:24,788 I'm sorry, buddy. I can't. 269 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:27,458 I have the big campaign parade tomorrow. 270 00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:31,253 I have to put my focus on the important stuff first, 271 00:13:31,337 --> 00:13:32,713 then you guys. 272 00:13:34,632 --> 00:13:37,843 Whoops, I mean, you guys are first, 273 00:13:37,926 --> 00:13:40,346 always first. I'm doing all this 274 00:13:40,429 --> 00:13:44,516 for you and the kids because you always come first. 275 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,435 Well, I'm done eating. Gotta go. 276 00:13:48,437 --> 00:13:52,232 Joker! Joker! 277 00:13:52,669 --> 00:13:54,639 _ 278 00:13:55,194 --> 00:13:57,196 Okay, boys. 279 00:13:57,279 --> 00:13:58,579 Let them have it. 280 00:14:02,785 --> 00:14:05,454 Change is happening! 281 00:14:06,921 --> 00:14:08,499 Damn it, Gary. 282 00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:14,572 - I love you! - _ 283 00:14:15,756 --> 00:14:17,925 Two-Face, perfect timing. 284 00:14:18,008 --> 00:14:19,510 You calling to concede? 285 00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:21,233 What? How'd you know it was me? 286 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:24,723 Um, we used to work together, like a lot. 287 00:14:24,807 --> 00:14:27,559 Oh, well, yeah, I'm just surprised you kept my number 288 00:14:27,643 --> 00:14:29,603 after all we've been through, you know? 289 00:14:29,687 --> 00:14:31,188 Did you, like, want something? 290 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,148 I'm about to give my speech. 291 00:14:33,232 --> 00:14:35,734 Oh, yeah. No, I just thought that you should know. 292 00:14:35,818 --> 00:14:37,236 - I have your son. - What? 293 00:14:37,319 --> 00:14:38,946 Dad, please come get me. 294 00:14:39,029 --> 00:14:41,029 If you ever want to see him alive again, 295 00:14:41,053 --> 00:14:43,742 come to the abandoned amusement park alone. 296 00:14:43,826 --> 00:14:46,245 And in case, I'm not being clear here, 297 00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:50,124 I have kidnapped your son and I'm holding him hostage. 298 00:14:50,207 --> 00:14:51,792 Yeah, I got that. 299 00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:54,420 Sorry. I'm... I'm used to spelling things out for Gordo. 300 00:14:54,503 --> 00:14:56,046 You probably don't need... anyways. 301 00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:57,631 Uh, okay, bye. 302 00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:01,135 Joker! Joker! 303 00:15:03,679 --> 00:15:05,931 Joker! Joker! 304 00:15:12,855 --> 00:15:15,441 I'm coming, Benicio! 305 00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:18,715 _ 306 00:15:22,364 --> 00:15:23,532 Okay, I'm here. 307 00:15:23,615 --> 00:15:25,215 - Where's the bomb threat? - Bomb threat? 308 00:15:25,242 --> 00:15:27,453 I never said anything on the phone about a bomb... 309 00:15:27,536 --> 00:15:28,836 Whatever. You're here. 310 00:15:28,912 --> 00:15:31,790 Yes, I am. Whoa! Hey, Two-Face, what is this? 311 00:15:31,874 --> 00:15:35,586 It's Joker's step-son. Once Joker sees we have his kid, 312 00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:37,588 we can make him drop out of the race. 313 00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:41,467 If he refuses, I press the start button on the coaster, 314 00:15:41,550 --> 00:15:43,427 and Benny here is gonna find out 315 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,304 why this place shut down. 316 00:15:45,387 --> 00:15:46,972 What? 317 00:15:47,055 --> 00:15:50,434 You kidnapped an innocent kid and are threatening murder? 318 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,089 Two-Face, crimes like these are considered especially heinous. 319 00:15:53,113 --> 00:15:55,439 - You have to let him go. - No fucking way. 320 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,150 We can't go back now because we're in too deep, 321 00:15:58,233 --> 00:16:00,778 and I'm trying to keep up above in my head 322 00:16:00,861 --> 00:16:02,196 instead of going under! 323 00:16:02,279 --> 00:16:05,620 Instead of going under! I'm sorry. 324 00:16:05,655 --> 00:16:08,160 Sum 41 was playing in the car on the way here. 325 00:16:08,243 --> 00:16:11,313 I love that band. But we're still doing this! 326 00:16:11,348 --> 00:16:13,332 - I trusted you. - Why? 327 00:16:13,415 --> 00:16:17,961 Why do you keep trusting me? My name is Two-face. 328 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:20,005 I almost feel like you're trolling me. 329 00:16:20,088 --> 00:16:22,341 Being Two-Faced is what I do. 330 00:16:22,424 --> 00:16:24,009 It's pretty straightforward. 331 00:16:24,092 --> 00:16:26,678 I kidnap kids. I poison mayors. 332 00:16:26,762 --> 00:16:28,764 Poison... poison mayors? 333 00:16:30,349 --> 00:16:32,100 Did you kill the mayor? 334 00:16:32,184 --> 00:16:34,584 I had to take action because I'm trying to win you this race. 335 00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:37,689 Do you think he died just because he was impaled by a pole? 336 00:16:37,773 --> 00:16:41,860 He was taut for 62. That guy had cum gutters. 337 00:16:43,821 --> 00:16:47,032 I'm here. No, Beth, I'm sorry, but you can't come. 338 00:16:47,115 --> 00:16:48,659 I promise I'll get Benny back safe. 339 00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:51,870 Just get Sophia to your sister's house. 340 00:16:51,954 --> 00:16:54,373 No, no, not your brother's place. 341 00:16:54,456 --> 00:16:57,501 Because he smokes and Sophia has asthma. 342 00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,546 That's why. Well, someone there smokes. 343 00:17:00,629 --> 00:17:04,216 I know I smelled something! Look, I got to go. 344 00:17:04,299 --> 00:17:06,301 I love you. Bye. 345 00:17:06,385 --> 00:17:08,470 Where the hell is Benicio? 346 00:17:08,554 --> 00:17:11,306 Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm doing fine. Thank you for asking. 347 00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:14,393 We can chitchat when you give me back my step-son. 348 00:17:14,476 --> 00:17:17,020 Drop out of the race. and I'll let your kid go free. 349 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:19,231 If you refuse, I'll press this button, 350 00:17:19,314 --> 00:17:21,692 and Benicio is gonna take off... 351 00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:24,236 ...on these broken tracks. 352 00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:26,154 Wow, Gordon, I didn't take 353 00:17:26,155 --> 00:17:29,491 - you for a child murderer. - No shit. 354 00:17:29,575 --> 00:17:32,911 I am Jim Gordon, and I do not approve this message. 355 00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:36,073 You four-faced son of a bitch. 356 00:17:39,668 --> 00:17:41,628 Okay, I'll drop out. 357 00:17:45,173 --> 00:17:47,509 - You think I made a hard choice? - Dad! 358 00:17:47,593 --> 00:17:48,760 Wrong. 359 00:17:48,844 --> 00:17:50,512 I'm only running for mayor for my family, 360 00:17:50,596 --> 00:17:53,557 and I'll quit for my family just as easily. 361 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,809 Wow, I didn't even stop drinking from my family. 362 00:17:55,893 --> 00:17:57,853 Well, I did. But then I started drinking again, 363 00:17:57,936 --> 00:17:59,688 but it wasn't as much. 364 00:17:59,771 --> 00:18:03,483 I'm sorry. I've been a bit of a... well, of a douche. 365 00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,612 - I love you. - Uh-huh. 366 00:18:06,695 --> 00:18:08,238 - Let's go home. - I don't think so. 367 00:18:08,938 --> 00:18:11,757 What you're doing? You said you would let him go. Why would you lie? 368 00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:14,995 Seriously? You're making this really not fun for me. 369 00:18:15,078 --> 00:18:17,247 "Two-Face" is my name. 370 00:18:17,331 --> 00:18:20,918 And if Joker is still alive, he will always be a threat. 371 00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:24,296 You will be mayor and I will be DA again. 372 00:18:24,379 --> 00:18:26,131 So that's what this is all about. 373 00:18:26,215 --> 00:18:30,093 You act like you care, but deep down, you're as dark as me. 374 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:31,803 I mean, look where we are. 375 00:18:31,887 --> 00:18:35,098 Now, step back and let me take care of this. 376 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:37,142 No! 377 00:18:40,646 --> 00:18:43,023 Shit! Shit! Gordon, do something! 378 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,872 Superman! Dad, we're saved! 379 00:18:58,956 --> 00:19:02,125 Oh, no. It's just Gordon, keep screaming, son. 380 00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:10,634 - Joker, grab my hand! - Yes. 381 00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:27,317 Gordon! 382 00:19:28,151 --> 00:19:29,987 Shit! Hold on! 383 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:37,411 Benny. Benny! Oh! 384 00:19:37,494 --> 00:19:38,996 Thank God! 385 00:19:40,622 --> 00:19:43,083 You're okay. Physically. 386 00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:45,419 Mentally, this is messed up. 387 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,649 Gordon, no! Don't kill him. 388 00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:52,651 I have to. He's done too much. 389 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:56,029 Look, no one wants to kill Two-Face more than me, 390 00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:58,865 but killing him won't solve the problem. 391 00:19:58,949 --> 00:20:02,244 It'll just make things worse. That's not what you do. 392 00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:05,413 You're Commissioner Gordon, remember? 393 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:07,290 You make things better. 394 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,501 Oh, my God, you're right. Whoa! You really have changed. 395 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,219 You're the kind of step-dad 396 00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:13,672 I wish I could be for my own biological daughter. 397 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:16,967 I just want to be someone my family can be proud of. 398 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,344 I already am proud of you, Dad. 399 00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:23,431 - You called me "Dad"? - I've been calling you "Dad." 400 00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:26,977 I called you "Dad" like, three times on the roller coaster. 401 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,190 Not that it'll make much of a difference for you, 402 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,731 but I'm gonna drop out of the race. 403 00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:32,858 You should be mayor. 404 00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:35,110 Really? You mean it? 405 00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,696 Yes. Congratulations, Mr. Mayor. 406 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:40,532 Gordon, I don't know what to say. 407 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:42,075 Thank you. 408 00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,536 Yeah, it's pretty wild, but it's for a brighter future. 409 00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,186 And being Commissioner ain't so bad. 410 00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:49,499 - I look forward to working for you. - No, no, no, no, no. 411 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:53,044 My first act as mayor is dismantling the police department. 412 00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:54,963 You're out of a job. 413 00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:57,507 Sorry. Let's go, Benicio. 414 00:20:57,591 --> 00:21:00,218 Should've killed me when you had the chance. 415 00:21:01,887 --> 00:21:03,763 Ahh! Watch the faces. 416 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:06,500 All right, I dropped Sophia off. Now let me at him. 417 00:21:06,535 --> 00:21:08,487 He's gonna be a "No-Face" when I'm done with him. 418 00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:10,520 Oh, good. Your mother found us. 419 00:21:10,604 --> 00:21:14,816 Ooh! And it's Tuesday. Let's get tacos! 420 00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,651 David Boreanaz! 421 00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:20,697 I bet that's the David that she said I look like. 422 00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:27,162 Barbara, I'm sorry. I choose you. 423 00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,915 From now on, it's always you. 424 00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:32,667 There's a new dawn on Gotham City. 425 00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:36,588 There's no limit to what we do. 426 00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:38,006 Like Miss Walter do. 427 00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:39,925 - Like I do. - Like I do. 428 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,593 Like we do! 429 00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:43,036 Como yo lo hago. 430 00:21:43,060 --> 00:21:45,597 Like we all do! 431 00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:49,768 I am your mayor, and I approved this message. 432 00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:54,439 - Joker! Joker! - _ 433 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:58,917 - Joker! Joker! 434 00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:03,406 - _ - Ah, I'm so glad we're home. 435 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,450 Wait. What the... 436 00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:07,577 We were gone for four days! 437 00:22:11,289 --> 00:22:12,165 Morning! 438 00:22:12,249 --> 00:22:13,795 You're in my spot. 439 00:22:13,805 --> 00:22:15,334 - Correction. - _ 440 00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,422 I'm your nightmare now, bitch. 441 00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:29,431 -- Addic7ed.com --