1
00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:22,521
Hey, the guys and I were thinking...

2
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,189
...of heading to Mama Macaroni's

3
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,067
Whoo! Those garlic knots slap!

4
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,278
Don't get me wrong.
I love me some Mama Mac's.

5
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:32,614
That pomodoro turns me into a pomowhoro,

6
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,199
but one day of pure focus

7
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,744
and we're going to be ready
to terraform Gotham

8
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,078
into paradise.

9
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:40,372
Uh, so Frank "rising from the ashes reborn"

10
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,082
wasn't the key? He's floating.

11
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,710
Oh, I'm all-powerful.

12
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,961
Check this shit out.

13
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,296
Hmm, ahh.

14
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,881
- Take that, take all of that!
- Wow!

15
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,799
Very cool, Frank. But in this current state,

16
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,509
he can only pollinate this area.

17
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:55,763
Please, I can easily get down
with all of Gotham's flora.

18
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,556
No dick mist needed! You feel me?

19
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,225
Hey, Frank, you're asexual,
so you'd be fucking yourself.

20
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,602
Well, I know I can do that!

21
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,145
Any-hiddly-diddly,

22
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,814
I just need to increase Frank's
seed production tenfold.

23
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,649
And I'm so close. So if you could just...

24
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,943
He did it! By God, he did it!

25
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,236
Hey, Sy! Sy!

26
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,363
Aye, all this yelling reminds me

27
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,283
of Kim Jon Il's real funeral back in '98.

28
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,827
I downloaded Sy into Cat woman's Smart home.

29
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:21,538
He can access the entire Internet.

30
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:22,591
Ask him anything.

31
00:01:22,593 --> 00:01:23,916
Who makes the best burger?

32
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,084
Who won best actor for the 1991 Olivier's?

33
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,212
The horse, Sea biscuit, and a gay man.

34
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,338
- Amazing.
- He's good.

35
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,756
Ive, ask him something.

36
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,424
Those are also the things
that I wanted to know.

37
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,344
So if you guys could just...

38
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:41,058
There's 37 other rooms in
this house, I'm just trying a...

39
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,396
It's okay, Frank. I'm fine. I don't need...

40
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,357
Okay, don't stop. That actually
feels really good.

41
00:01:53,870 --> 00:01:54,947
Ahh!

42
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:58,617
Oh, my God.

43
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,289
Harley!

44
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,127
What the hell is this?

45
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:12,047
Uh, just the first practice
of Gotham's soon to be

46
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,967
greatest Progressive Alien Death core Band.

47
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,803
We are called The Blackened
Pains of Zeerathan!

48
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,639
Death of Harroc can suck both my dicks.

49
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,142
Oh, they're currently
the best PAD band in Gotham.

50
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,519
Don't need the acronym
explained or repeated to me,

51
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,604
but it is like a touch loud.

52
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,148
Do you want us to turn it down?

53
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,859
I mean, if it doesn't ruin
the vibe or whatever.

54
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,735
- You know.
- There we go.

55
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:37,197
Hey, Ive, you're going
to kick science's ass!

56
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,491
Yes. Rock on.

57
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,789
Hmm.

58
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:48,834
Oh, I'm seeing something.

59
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,587
Wait, I'm saying it's just
you being a little bitch

60
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:54,089
and not telling Harley
she's being freaking annoying.

61
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,008
Frank, I like to employ a tactic

62
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,719
called judicious transparency
in my relationships.

63
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,012
Yeah, yeah, I heard of that.

64
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,513
It's called being a little bitch.

65
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,015
Hey, a big part of being in a relationship

66
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,767
is not always telling the exact truth.

67
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,103
And that way you can get what you need

68
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,771
without hurting anyone's feelings.

69
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,302
Also, I just blew up our last place,

70
00:03:11,304 --> 00:03:13,056
so I don't really feel like
being the bad guy right now.

71
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,193
- Oh, my God.
- Well,

72
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:16,612
you better do something

73
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,572
or you're going to blow this place up, too.

74
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,366
Ugh.

75
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,744
? Ivy is so smart ?

76
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,121
? But she's no science wussy ?

77
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,206
? And in celebration ?

78
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,499
? I'm gonna eat her puss... ?

79
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,709
Oh, hey, babe.

80
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,127
Yeah! Whoo!

81
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,545
Obviously, and it goes without saying,

82
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,631
I think it's amazing
that you started a band.

83
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,342
The thing is, um...

84
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,721
Cat woman just texted me

85
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,432
and she said that the instruments she stole

86
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:48,310
when visiting the legendary
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

87
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:53,398
induction ceremony in 2012,
are off-limits. Dang it!

88
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:56,318
Ah! 2012. A great year for me

89
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:59,029
and my fellow Cosimo Mat ass a Stanleys.

90
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,990
Ugh! Cat woman is such a buzzkill.

91
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:05,035
Oh, I know! It's like the buzzkilliest.

92
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,579
If it was up to me, I would so let you guys

93
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:10,332
just shred... ass.

94
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,584
But, you know, she's letting us stay here,

95
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,044
so we just have to accept it.

96
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,005
- Ugh.
- Ugh, stupid rules.

97
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,341
Yeah, uh.

98
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,927
Um, since we can't play anymore,

99
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,429
could someone get me down?

100
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,474
This election,
stick with the mayor

101
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,978
because he's sticking it out for us.

102
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,772
We're getting crushed in the polls!

103
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:34,982
How is that possible?

104
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,525
Guy can't even piss on his own.

105
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,901
How's he supposed to run the city?

106
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:40,112
Eh, he's playing the coma card.

107
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:43,573
Well, our internals show 57% of voters

108
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:44,908
think it's "mean"

109
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:46,994
you're running against someone in a coma.

110
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,662
Ah! But the other 43 are with us?

111
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:51,957
No. 20 said they wish
"you were the one in the coma."

112
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,625
Feels like an unnecessary detail.

113
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,377
And another 15 said,

114
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,629
"I don't get carpool karaoke,

115
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:00,424
they just sing along to songs in a car."

116
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:03,218
Clearly they thought we were
asking about James Corden.

117
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,178
But regardless, it's not looking good.

118
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:08,265
All I've done for this city
and this is what I get?

119
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:09,516
Maybe change things up.

120
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,810
Be more Jim and less Commissioner

121
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,478
Bingo. I need to just get out.

122
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,938
Chat with the youths.

123
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,732
Barbara, you're a cool,
hip, popular young woman.

124
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,734
Gather up 3,000 of your closest
friends for me to talk to.

125
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,277
Dad, I don't really have any...

126
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,195
That many friends.

127
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:24,197
Yeah. I could have guessed that.

128
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,532
Damn it! Ow, my pinkie.

129
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,035
Political campaigns are won with money.

130
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,037
Uh, what about great policy and hope?

131
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,456
Yeah.

132
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,709
No, we need money,
from the filthiest, richest

133
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,754
pieces of shit the world has to offer.

134
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,923
Carmine Falcone, Ra's al Ghul,

135
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,134
or if we're really lucky,

136
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,594
Henry Kissinger!

137
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,054
That monster isn't dead yet?

138
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,680
God really doesn't exist.

139
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:51,183
Dad, if you take their money,
you'll be beholden to them.

140
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,185
Run on what you believe in.

141
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,103
Justice! Honor!

142
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,563
The rule of law.

143
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,648
You, Jim Gordon, are enough.

144
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:01,152
Aww. You really are my north star.

145
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,198
Okay, so where are these rich assholes?

146
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,708
Harley, what are you doing?

147
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,752
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just gonna use Cat woman's

148
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,213
fancy Japanese toilet.

149
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,340
Have you read it? I haven't
gotten past the cover.

150
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,550
Is it "I Q Eight Four"?

151
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,511
Konnichiwa, Harley Quinn.

152
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,554
Level.

153
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:30,889
- Level.
- Ah.

154
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,224
I'll do that for you.

155
00:06:33,451 --> 00:06:35,102
Are you ready to flush?

156
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:39,064
- Oh, my God.
- Victory! S-level.

157
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,982
That was spiritual.

158
00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,776
Everyone's gotta try this.

159
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,445
- Hey, guys...
- Oh, no.

160
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,072
Another text from Cat woman,

161
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,408
says no one is allowed to use
her special toilet. Ever!

162
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,035
Wait, how did she even know?

163
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,912
Uh, so she has, like,

164
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,123
surveillance cameras like, everywhere.

165
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,791
I'm so bummed.

166
00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:00,252
I want nothing more than for all of you

167
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,712
to just go to the bathroom right near me.

168
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,714
Ahh, stupid Cat woman!

169
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,967
What is the point of a fancy Japanese toilet

170
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,762
if you don't show it off? Argh.

171
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,640
Oh, that's some weak ass shit.

172
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:18,770
That feline freak.

173
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,189
Watching my every move.

174
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,109
Your free cam show ends right now!

175
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,110
Argh!

176
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,168
I did it! Whoo!

177
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,878
You diddled an electrical socket?

178
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:46,256
What? No! I finished the serum.

179
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,591
- Huzzah!
- All right.

180
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:48,717
- Feels good.
- Kudos!

181
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,552
- Pollination!
- Feels good.

182
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,637
Oh, I'm so proud of you,
my sexy little scientist.

183
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,431
But seriously, what is with the hair?

184
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,225
Turns out I made the serum less explodie,

185
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,186
but not not explodie.

186
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,396
So, Frank's currently in a fugue state,

187
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,565
producing enough pollen
to cover all of Gotham.

188
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,942
And since we have a couple
of hours before he's ready,

189
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,945
I thought that we would go
for a celebratory dinner

190
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,739
at *Mama Macaroni's*!

191
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,240
- Whoo-hoo!
- Mama Macaroni's?

192
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,159
*Mama Macaroni's!*

193
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,660
[SINGING] ? Coming into
my mouth ? -? Her mouth ?

194
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,329
? Mama Macaroni's ?

195
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,664
- ? Get in the town ?
- ? So good. ?

196
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,208
- Okay.
- Ah, yes.

197
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,627
Tomorrow we terraform all of Gotham,

198
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,629
except for Mama Macaroni's.

199
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:26,880
- Ah, yes.
- Mm-hmm.

200
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,132
I'm gonna bring Frank his garlic knots.

201
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:32,677
Frank?

202
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:36,514
Frank!

203
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:40,769
Hmm.

204
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:45,232
Sy! Wake up, Sy!

205
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,317
Did you see anything?

206
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,194
I'm plugged in to the World Wide Web.

207
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,529
What haven't I seen. Biggest revelation.

208
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,865
A lot of stepmothers
are shtupping their stepson.

209
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,450
No, you horny smoke alarm.

210
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,953
Someone stole Frank. Did you see anything?

211
00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:01,831
I did not but I will
check the security cameras.

212
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:02,999
I never should have left.

213
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,209
I never should've fricking left.

214
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,710
Oh, Ive,

215
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,879
we are going to find
the asshole who did this, okay?

216
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,964
I promise.

217
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,090
Is there a villain

218
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,300
who looks like a static screen?

219
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,677
I don't think so.

220
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,637
Damn. Well, then the cameras are broken.

221
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,638
What?

222
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,724
So, whoever broke in knew

223
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:20,892
exactly where all the cameras were.

224
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,645
Wow, that is some devious shit.

225
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,064
I think we're dealing with a genius.

226
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,816
They may be smart when breaking in,

227
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,694
but they're not smart when
it comes to securely fastening

228
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,737
festive brooches to their wardrobe.

229
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,573
Wait a second. I've seen this before.

230
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,410
And I know who can help us.

231
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,371
How'd you come up with the answer?

232
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,831
I don't know.

233
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,333
Maybe because my son
can count to fricking seven!

234
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,211
I hate this common core!

235
00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:52,132
No, you keep going, sport.

236
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,009
Papa needs to talk with his guests,

237
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:57,387
who decided to drop in during homework time.

238
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,472
Someone broke into our place
and stole Frank,

239
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:00,807
but left this behind.

240
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,184
And it is the same brooch you had.

241
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,853
Ugh, The Court of Owls?

242
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,355
What is that? Is that
like a bird watching club?

243
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,815
Ha! They wish!

244
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:12,402
It used to be the city's
most exclusive secret society.

245
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:15,280
Bankrolled some intensely evil schemes.

246
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,491
Now, it's just a bunch
of old straight white dudes

247
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,744
jerking each other off.

248
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,495
Headphones, Benny!

249
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,955
Where can we find them?

250
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,041
Assuming they haven't
changed their schedule,

251
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,293
they'll be having their
weekly meeting tonight.

252
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,961
Wednesday nights? You always told me

253
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,129
you were playing softball.

254
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,797
I was lying.

255
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:34,966
What grown man plays on a softball team?

256
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,343
So, how do we get into this meeting?

257
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,762
You just need a mask and the password.

258
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,513
Lucky for you, I have both.

259
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:41,848
Hmm.

260
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,183
Here we are. Hmm.

261
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,185
Saves me a trip to Goodwill.

262
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,394
And what's the password?

263
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,897
The password is...

264
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,440
"Hoot hoot."

265
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,484
Seriously? That's like using
your name as the password.

266
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,403
Harley, you literally use
your name for every password.

267
00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:58,990
Are you finished? Well, let's take a look.

268
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:02,202
Draw a picture to explain your answer.

269
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,828
Who gives a shit?

270
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,663
Ha!

271
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:08,792
Oh, sorry, bud, I had to get that out.

272
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,126
I'll make it up to you.

273
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,670
What do you say we get some boba?

274
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,300
You really think one of these
sick assholes has Frank?

275
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,803
Yes. Just play it cool, okay?

276
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,140
Hoot Hoot.

277
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:34,192
Eyes open for anything suspicious.

278
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:41,741
Okay, everything's already suspicious.

279
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:51,334
It is time for the sacrifice, but,

280
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,878
before we get to that,
just a quick announcement.

281
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,548
Due to a number of complaints
from our newer members

282
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,550
about the inhumane sacrifices

283
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:02,220
we have been performing for over 100 years,

284
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:06,641
a goat pinata will play the
role of an actual goat tonight.

285
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,226
- I know, I know.
- Favorite part...

286
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,438
There was nothing I could do.
Okay, here we go.

287
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,571
Now that the God's bloodlust
has been satiated,

288
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,865
we're gonna jump right into cocktail hour.

289
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,367
Okay, so let's just split up
and search the crowd.

290
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,245
Whoever stole Frank has to be
covered in his pollen.

291
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,872
So let's see if it's one of these creeps.

292
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:32,167
You're still hot when you give orders. Mmm.

293
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:36,546
All right, just go in there and
charm the hell out of those rich dicks.

294
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,631
Wish you told me about the mask thing.

295
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:41,509
Would've worn my sports goggles
from by b-ball days at the rec center.

296
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,595
Forget about your God damn glasses.

297
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,263
Focus on the mission at hand!

298
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,681
Get that money.

299
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:49,100
Got it. Just gonna glad-hand
the hell out of...

300
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,103
God dam, son of a... Gun.

301
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,189
Hey, watch it.

302
00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:01,029
Hey, Mr. Owl Man. Jim Gordon here.

303
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,489
I'm running for Mayor of Gotham.

304
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,823
We're not supposed to use names.

305
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,783
Oh! Right, right, right.

306
00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:08,036
Eh, you already know who I am.
So, like I said,

307
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,205
Jim Gordon, running for Mayor.

308
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,499
Crime's rampant and the current mayor
isn't doing a dosh garn thing about it!

309
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,626
- Isn't he in a coma?
- Eh, irrelevant.

310
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,754
This damn mask! It does... It doesn't fit.

311
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,632
I think my head's too small? Too... too big?

312
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,927
Wait a rotten ham-hawk,
I know that jaw-line.

313
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,930
That stiff upper lip, those
broad shoulders that look like

314
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,057
they're holding the weight of the world.

315
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:32,143
Bruce Wayne. God, it's good to
see a familiar face

316
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:33,220
Commissioner.

317
00:13:33,222 --> 00:13:35,230
My God, those
shoulders really are so solid.

318
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,191
Guess I shouldn't be too surprised
to see you at this chichi shindig.

319
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,378
I like to keep my eye on Gotham's elite.

320
00:13:40,380 --> 00:13:41,923
Speaking of Gotham,
I'm gonna change the city

321
00:13:41,924 --> 00:13:43,654
and I could really use some of that sweet,

322
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,448
sweet cash that you got in your pocket.

323
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:48,451
Also, not to brag, but my good
friend Batman has endorsed me.

324
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:50,912
- No, he hasn't.
- Well, he hasn't announced it yet,

325
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,997
but it's coming. Don't you worry.

326
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,418
Gonna figure this mask out then
I'll circle back with you.

327
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:02,340
Hey, just out of curiosity, what
were you doing about two hours ago?

328
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,758
Teaching my kindergarten class.

329
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,386
Oh, wow, that's really upsetting.

330
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,014
Hey, I know it was you, Bane.

331
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,475
Who is this
Bane you speak of?

332
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:16,104
Never heard of him. Though, he
does sound like a pretty cool dude.

333
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:19,357
Oh, cut the shit. What were you
doing from 5:00 p.m. until now?

334
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:23,987
Well, 5:00 p.m. on Wednesday
is my standing therapy session.

335
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:27,740
It was a tough one.
Got into some trust issues.

336
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:28,909
I think you know why.

337
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:34,038
You won't give me back my pasta maker.

338
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,874
The ultimate betrayal!

339
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:40,044
My therapist thinks we would all benefit

340
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,046
from a group session... Oh, okay.

341
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:45,008
So you can use any toilet you
want, but I can't use yours?

342
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,676
Good to see you, too.

343
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:49,012
But I haven't the faintest idea
what you're talking about.

344
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:52,557
I know all about you texting Ivy telling
her I can't do anything in your apartment

345
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,892
including use your fancy Japanese toilet.

346
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:58,646
What would be the
point of stealing a Komon Clean 6000

347
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,398
if I didn't want to show it off?

348
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,941
Wh... That's what I said!

349
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:06,738
Hmm, seems like your problem
might be with Ivy, not me.

350
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,365
I... Ivy lied to me?

351
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,578
- King?
- Why thank you.

352
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,121
Got a clue on our thief.

353
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,248
Okay, 'cause we have not found shit.

354
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,042
Not every camera was broken.

355
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:22,253
Our fancy, sexy toilet has one inside

356
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,380
and snapped a butt pic of the intruder.

357
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:28,635
Hang on, so someone broke in,
stole Frank, and took a shit?

358
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,095
I cannot confirm it was in that order.

359
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,474
Anyway, I did a zoom zoom
and enhanced the tuchus photo.

360
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,059
Sending it now.

361
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,269
Is that a mole?

362
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,312
Bingo!

363
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,439
And this is all you could find?

364
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,400
Pretty good, considering Harley
bashed in the rest of the cameras.

365
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,611
Wait, what?

366
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:51,366
Pretty good, considering
Harley bashed in the rest of the cameras!

367
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,242
Huh, see this? I'm a problem solver.

368
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:56,079
And I'll bring this kind of
ingenuity all the way to City Hall.

369
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,955
Jim, if I give you money,
will you leave me alone?

370
00:15:57,956 --> 00:16:00,249
- You betcha.
- Let me get my checkbook.

371
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,755
So Sy just told me something
really interesting.

372
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,465
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

373
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:11,177
That you went full-blown
smashey fit on all of the cameras.

374
00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:14,263
Well, Cat woman told me
the truth about you guys.

375
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,934
Uh... So messed up.

376
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,353
Can we please get out of here
before the party gets started?

377
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:23,064
Oh, I'd say the party has already started.

378
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,984
Fine. Get our coats.

379
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:31,280
I want to luxuriate in their
emotional discord for a second.

380
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:32,990
Why would you lie to me about that?

381
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:37,203
I... I didn't lie about it,
I just didn't say anything.

382
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:40,373
And look, the last time we
hooked up was, like, four years ago.

383
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,499
Wait, what?

384
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,586
Oh! Okay, we can go.

385
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,589
You two used to hook up?

386
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,425
I was talking about the toilet texts,

387
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,678
but you and that furball used to hook up?

388
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,513
Let's talk about that!

389
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,515
- Harley...
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

390
00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:00,268
You don't get to "Harley" me. Is
there anyone else I should know about?

391
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,938
Any more shocking sex things
I'm gonna be blindsided with?

392
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,234
What the hell?

393
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,330
_

394
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:16,743
Let the grand owl orgy begin! Hoot, hoot!

395
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,912
Hoot, hoot!

396
00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:48,441
Honey, let's just forget about
all of this and focus in.

397
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,027
Whoever stole Frank has this butt mole.

398
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,403
We find this butt mole,

399
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,739
and then we can just drop this whole thing.

400
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,575
Ooh, there's always a butt mole whenever
we need to talk about something important.

401
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,828
There's nothing more important
to me right now than finding Frank.

402
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,246
There's nothing to talk about.

403
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:05,082
Sorry to eavesdrop, but if I'm being honest,

404
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:08,461
it seems like there is a lot to talk about.

405
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,422
This part's always tricky.

406
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:14,509
Could one of you gals help me
to unhook my...

407
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,260
- Not now, Bane.
- Oh, okay.

408
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:18,095
It didn't mean anything, it was ages ago.

409
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:20,973
Look, we've got this extremely
convenient gift of nakedness.

410
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:23,351
Now let's just go and find this mole.

411
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,812
If it didn't mean anything then
why didn't you tell me?

412
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:29,233
Maybe I didn't tell you because
I knew this is how you'd react.

413
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,237
Wow. Just wow.

414
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,365
Shit!

415
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,451
Come on, Jimbo, you got this.

416
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,161
Just talk to a few more people

417
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,955
and your campaign's back on track.

418
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,957
Hmm, first-time jitters?

419
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,000
Uh, let me give you a piece of advice.

420
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,919
Lube, and plenty of it.

421
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,965
Right, gotta grease the wheels,
butter 'em up.

422
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,552
Why the... Ow, why is it so
God damn dark in here?

423
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,638
Looking for money and these assholes
can't even keep the electricity on.

424
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,518
Ah, cheese nuts.

425
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,480
The hell is this? Some kind of Conga line?

426
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,659
Where the hell is it?

427
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,537
Ah, for crying out loud.

428
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,496
Harley...

429
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,422
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

430
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,341
The real reason I didn't tell you

431
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:40,928
wasn't because I thought you'd freak out.

432
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:45,391
When Cat woman and I hooked up,
I wanted more,

433
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:48,144
even though it was so obvious she didn't.

434
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,730
And so, I waited around,

435
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,648
hoping that she'd change her mind.

436
00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:55,234
And while I waited, I was just,
like, wrapped around her little finger

437
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,486
and I still cringe every time
I think about it.

438
00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:00,656
Could you please keep your
talking to a dull sexy roar?

439
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,160
No! Annihilate my taint.

440
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:09,206
Anyway, after it finally ended
I felt so pathetic.

441
00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:12,501
I never wanted to think about it
again, and so when you brought it up

442
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:16,005
I just got defensive and I said
something I shouldn't.

443
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,925
Harley, it wasn't
even a real relationship

444
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:22,345
and I know that because
when we got together,

445
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:27,058
I knew I'd finally found
what I'd been pining for

446
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,268
all these years.

447
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:31,729
Cat woman didn't mean a thing to me.

448
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:36,026
But you, you, Harley, you mean everything.

449
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:38,487
Oh.

450
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:47,745
One rule at orgies,
never turn the lights on.

451
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:51,625
But I was almost done
carbo-loading for the fuckfest.

452
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,175
Ah, hot damn!

453
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,265
What in Satan's asshole?

454
00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:11,227
So you didn't get anyone to
donate to the campaign?

455
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,522
No. But I did get a pretty
sweet selfie with Bruce Wayne.

456
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:15,941
Maybe put it on a billboard!

457
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,485
Hold on, there's a better one.

458
00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,030
Huh, I don't remember taking those.

459
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:27,535
Oh. Gordon, you brilliant buffoon!

460
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,121
There's only one thing better than money.

461
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,622
- Love of a woman?
- What?

462
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,332
No. Blackmail.

463
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:37,294
And now we have videos
of every major player in Gotham

464
00:21:37,295 --> 00:21:39,213
at some weird sex cult!

465
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,632
So that means we can put
the selfie on a billboard?

466
00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:44,301
Oh, that and so much more.

467
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,184
Why the fuck would they do this

468
00:21:52,185 --> 00:21:53,811
on a concrete floor?

469
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,063
I want you to be completely honest with me

470
00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:58,441
and I will be completely honest with you.

471
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,651
Here, I'll tell you everyone
I've ever hooked up with.

472
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:01,986
I'll go from grossest to hottest.

473
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,738
- Oh, please don't do that.
- Oh.

474
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:05,489
I'm so glad we worked through
this and everything's okay.

475
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,118
- I mean, Frank is still missing.
- Oh, right, Frank.

476
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,830
Oh, hey. What the...

477
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:16,668
Oh, fuck me! Fuck me!

478
00:22:18,052 --> 00:22:21,188
sync and corrections by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com