1
00:00:01,994 --> 00:00:03,462
Let's go. Let's go.

2
00:00:03,465 --> 00:00:04,831
We're gonna be late!

3
00:00:04,834 --> 00:00:06,797
Fun fact... the first time

4
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:09,061
I almost died was at the age of nine.

5
00:00:09,064 --> 00:00:10,267
The murder weapon?

6
00:00:10,269 --> 00:00:12,336
A Jimmy Dean sausage.

7
00:00:17,243 --> 00:00:19,876
Mom, Sheldon's making faces at me.

8
00:00:21,782 --> 00:00:23,093
Sheldon!

9
00:00:23,104 --> 00:00:24,826
In fairness to Mr. Dean...

10
00:00:24,829 --> 00:00:26,650
- Honey!
- This one morning, I decided

11
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:29,172
to forgo my normal 20 chews per bite,

12
00:00:29,175 --> 00:00:31,709
as prescribed by the
American Medical Association.

13
00:00:31,712 --> 00:00:33,257
George, help!

14
00:00:34,794 --> 00:00:37,995
Come here, boy. We got it.
We just got to smack it out.

15
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:39,696
To further complicate matters,

16
00:00:39,698 --> 00:00:41,520
in any real-life crisis,

17
00:00:41,523 --> 00:00:44,902
my family's default
mode is mindless panic.

18
00:00:44,904 --> 00:00:46,970
Sheldon's gonna die!
Sheldon's gonna die!

19
00:00:46,972 --> 00:00:48,639
Or heartless apathy.

20
00:00:48,641 --> 00:00:50,437
Oh, Lord.

21
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,070
Here we go. This is how you do it.

22
00:00:52,073 --> 00:00:54,645
- Here we go. And we shake.
- Honey!

23
00:00:54,647 --> 00:00:56,980
It's interesting the
things you think about

24
00:00:56,982 --> 00:00:58,740
when life is ebbing from your body.

25
00:00:58,743 --> 00:01:02,073
For instance, linoleum.
What is it, really?

26
00:01:02,076 --> 00:01:05,505
Plastic? And if so, how is
it different from Formica?

27
00:01:05,508 --> 00:01:08,125
I'm calling 911.

28
00:01:08,127 --> 00:01:11,128
And what about Count Chocula?

29
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:12,563
How is he a count?

30
00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:14,232
Did the title come with land?

31
00:01:14,235 --> 00:01:15,566
George, Heimlich!

32
00:01:16,802 --> 00:01:19,318
Don't hurt his little ribs!

33
00:01:19,321 --> 00:01:21,170
They say, in the final moments,

34
00:01:21,173 --> 00:01:23,607
your life passes before your eyes.

35
00:01:23,609 --> 00:01:26,977
All I saw was my brother
licking jelly off the knife

36
00:01:26,979 --> 00:01:28,712
and putting it back in the jar.

37
00:01:30,446 --> 00:01:32,115
Okay, it's better now. Sheldon!

38
00:01:32,117 --> 00:01:34,951
Honey. Are you okay?

39
00:01:34,954 --> 00:01:36,638
Can you breathe? Say something!

40
00:01:36,641 --> 00:01:39,856
You have to... throw away... that jelly.

41
00:01:54,059 --> 00:01:59,911
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
... www.Addic7ed.com -

42
00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:06,376
I've never been late to school before.

43
00:02:06,379 --> 00:02:08,691
I'm late all the time. It's no big deal.

44
00:02:08,694 --> 00:02:11,655
I get you to school on time
every day. Why are you late?

45
00:02:11,657 --> 00:02:14,124
I have a lot of people to
say hi to in the morning.

46
00:02:14,126 --> 00:02:14,949
Mom,

47
00:02:14,952 --> 00:02:16,360
would you write a note for me?

48
00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:17,574
Sure.

49
00:02:17,577 --> 00:02:19,763
You have the coolest excuse.

50
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,533
You almost died. Did you see Jesus?

51
00:02:22,535 --> 00:02:25,302
I saw Count Chocula.

52
00:02:25,304 --> 00:02:28,590
But feel free to mention my
brush with death in the note.

53
00:02:28,593 --> 00:02:31,708
All right, that's enough
talk about death and dying.

54
00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:34,785
I came this close to having my own room.

55
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,683
Remember, the food drive

56
00:02:39,685 --> 00:02:40,884
ends Friday.

57
00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:42,516
All canned goods are welcome.

58
00:02:42,519 --> 00:02:46,618
But please... make sure
your cans have labels.

59
00:02:46,621 --> 00:02:48,158
Needy people have enough problems

60
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,661
without having to
guess what's for dinner.

61
00:02:50,663 --> 00:02:53,043
I'm sorry I'm late. I have a note.

62
00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:58,910
You poor thing, you
had a medical emergency?

63
00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:01,647
Yes, ma'am. I choked on a sausage.

64
00:03:02,652 --> 00:03:04,107
How big was it?

65
00:03:04,109 --> 00:03:06,343
About yay big.

66
00:03:08,113 --> 00:03:10,681
To this day,

67
00:03:10,683 --> 00:03:13,650
I still don't understand
why they were laughing.

68
00:03:19,925 --> 00:03:21,692
You're sitting in my spot.

69
00:03:21,694 --> 00:03:23,827
Why is it your spot?

70
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,762
It's complicated. Just move.

71
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:35,806
- You're reading a comic book.
- I am.

72
00:03:35,808 --> 00:03:38,609
You do understand
those are for children.

73
00:03:38,611 --> 00:03:40,177
Have you ever read one?

74
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:43,121
I outgrew picture
books when I was three.

75
00:03:43,124 --> 00:03:44,390
Just eat your lunch.

76
00:04:00,855 --> 00:04:02,727
What's the matter?

77
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:05,410
I-I don't think I can eat this.

78
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,170
You want to trade?

79
00:04:07,172 --> 00:04:09,105
My mom made me fish soup again.

80
00:04:09,108 --> 00:04:10,777
How long do we have
to be in this country

81
00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:12,785
before I get baloney?

82
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:18,239
Mm, no, thank you.

83
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,716
I'm not hungry.

84
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:23,053
"I'm not hungry."

85
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,288
Three words you never hear in Vietnam.

86
00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:28,754
Well, here's something nice.

87
00:04:28,757 --> 00:04:30,524
You know that Mr. Rosenbloom

88
00:04:30,527 --> 00:04:33,330
with the furniture store
over by the steakhouse?

89
00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:35,746
- I don't think so.
- Oh, sure you do.

90
00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:37,754
That Hebrew fella with the comb-over?

91
00:04:37,757 --> 00:04:38,935
You mean Jewish?

92
00:04:38,937 --> 00:04:41,471
I think they like to be called Hebrew.

93
00:04:41,473 --> 00:04:43,106
Anyway,

94
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:45,556
he's asked me to dinner.

95
00:04:46,478 --> 00:04:48,745
Well, good for you. What'd you say?

96
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,793
I said I'd have to think about it.

97
00:04:50,796 --> 00:04:52,182
What's to think about?

98
00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:53,801
Well, a lot.

99
00:04:53,804 --> 00:04:56,777
I mean, assuming he enjoys
dinner, he might want

100
00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:58,541
a scoop of Meemaw for dessert.

101
00:04:58,544 --> 00:05:00,189
Mom, the kids.

102
00:05:00,192 --> 00:05:02,259
I said "dessert."

103
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,528
Did you know I was talking about sex?

104
00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:05,762
No.

105
00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:07,152
See?

106
00:05:08,988 --> 00:05:10,467
Why aren't you eating?

107
00:05:10,469 --> 00:05:12,637
I don't think I can.

108
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,235
Sometimes the different foods
touch each other, Sheldon.

109
00:05:15,238 --> 00:05:16,807
Not the end of the world.

110
00:05:16,809 --> 00:05:19,209
No, I'm afraid I'll choke again.

111
00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:21,715
Oh, honey, that's not gonna happen.

112
00:05:21,718 --> 00:05:23,313
Go ahead, eat your dinner.

113
00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:25,048
What's all this about choking?

114
00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:26,917
Sheldon almost died this morning.

115
00:05:26,919 --> 00:05:28,301
- What?!
- Oh, yeah.

116
00:05:28,304 --> 00:05:30,918
Dad was shaking him upside
down like a ketchup bottle.

117
00:05:30,921 --> 00:05:32,324
It was great.

118
00:05:32,327 --> 00:05:34,189
Well, you got to eat something, baby.

119
00:05:34,192 --> 00:05:35,391
Just have a few bites.

120
00:05:35,394 --> 00:05:37,722
I can't. It's too risky.

121
00:05:37,725 --> 00:05:39,097
Dibs on the tater tots.

122
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,831
All right, I'll wrap that up for you,

123
00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:43,417
and if you change your mind,
you can have some later.

124
00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:44,968
At least drink your milk.

125
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,303
Sure.

126
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:48,105
My mother and father saw

127
00:05:48,107 --> 00:05:51,641
that I'd been traumatized and
were patient and understanding

128
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:54,611
about my fear of eating solid foods.

129
00:05:54,613 --> 00:05:56,446
This lasted one more day.

130
00:05:56,448 --> 00:05:58,081
Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't

131
00:05:58,083 --> 00:06:00,150
finish that pork chop,
I swear I will chew it up

132
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,878
and spit it in your
mouth like a mama bird.

133
00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:02,925
Do it, Mom. Do it.

134
00:06:02,928 --> 00:06:05,442
- Mary, can I speak to you for a second?
- No. Enough is enough.

135
00:06:05,444 --> 00:06:07,003
The boy has got to eat.

136
00:06:07,006 --> 00:06:08,816
Just give me a minute.

137
00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:12,772
Start eating, mister.

138
00:06:16,177 --> 00:06:17,949
You don't mind, right?

139
00:06:20,706 --> 00:06:23,340
How about I cut that
pork chop off the bone

140
00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:26,109
and throw it in the
blender with some gravy?

141
00:06:26,111 --> 00:06:30,380
If it fits through a
bendy straw, I'll drink it.

142
00:06:30,382 --> 00:06:32,649
Coming up.

143
00:06:32,651 --> 00:06:35,089
Why does he get a pork shake?

144
00:06:35,092 --> 00:06:36,318
This is all my fault.

145
00:06:36,321 --> 00:06:38,288
I rushed him through
breakfast the other day,

146
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:40,113
and now look... He is wasting away.

147
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:42,199
Oh, come on. You can't blame yourself.

148
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,594
This isn't gonna last. Remember
the time a bee got in the house

149
00:06:44,596 --> 00:06:46,406
and he slept under a
net for a couple months?

150
00:06:46,409 --> 00:06:48,019
This is different.

151
00:06:48,022 --> 00:06:49,245
- How?
- First of all,

152
00:06:49,248 --> 00:06:50,399
you let that bee in.

153
00:06:50,402 --> 00:06:51,568
The bee was your fault.

154
00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:53,069
- Okay.
- Secondly,

155
00:06:53,071 --> 00:06:54,237
this is about his health.

156
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,625
He is a fragile little boy.

157
00:06:55,628 --> 00:06:56,930
He can't go on like this.

158
00:06:56,933 --> 00:06:58,241
I'm not arguing with you.

159
00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:01,077
Let's just, you know, give
him a little more time.

160
00:07:05,617 --> 00:07:07,456
Now what?

161
00:07:07,459 --> 00:07:09,686
Sounds like your mom's
making margaritas.

162
00:07:12,613 --> 00:07:13,824
What's he drinking?

163
00:07:13,826 --> 00:07:15,892
Pork chop and gravy.

164
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,061
I snuck some broccoli in there, too.

165
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,863
Shh...

166
00:07:26,636 --> 00:07:29,792
_

167
00:07:37,713 --> 00:07:39,713
I'm real glad you've
been getting out again.

168
00:07:39,715 --> 00:07:41,381
Me, too.

169
00:07:41,383 --> 00:07:43,950
We had a nice dinner, took a walk.

170
00:07:43,952 --> 00:07:46,119
He's a divorcé, you know.

171
00:07:46,121 --> 00:07:47,287
I didn't.

172
00:07:47,289 --> 00:07:49,022
It's not a big deal for those people.

173
00:07:49,024 --> 00:07:52,092
If they're not a lawyer,
they're related to one.

174
00:07:52,094 --> 00:07:54,094
You're actually cutting the crust off

175
00:07:54,096 --> 00:07:55,773
- before you blend it?
- I left it

176
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:58,565
on his tuna sandwich yesterday,
he said he could tell.

177
00:07:58,568 --> 00:08:00,234
Only drank half of it.

178
00:08:00,237 --> 00:08:02,437
Mary, you think this
has gone on long enough?

179
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,670
No trouble.

180
00:08:03,672 --> 00:08:06,039
But it'd be better
if I had two blenders.

181
00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:07,706
Be better if you stopped coddling him.

182
00:08:07,709 --> 00:08:09,309
Well, I don't know what else to do.

183
00:08:09,311 --> 00:08:11,511
I suggested that we take him
to some kind of professional,

184
00:08:11,513 --> 00:08:13,080
but you said he'd outgrow it.

185
00:08:13,082 --> 00:08:14,851
Well, if you're looking
for a psychiatrist,

186
00:08:14,854 --> 00:08:17,003
I bet my new fella's related to one.

187
00:08:19,956 --> 00:08:21,528
What do you think?

188
00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:24,825
Not sure.

189
00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:27,294
If we take him to a shrink,
it feels like we're admitting

190
00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:28,628
something's wrong with him.

191
00:08:28,630 --> 00:08:31,489
He hasn't had solid food in five weeks.

192
00:08:31,492 --> 00:08:35,127
Well, if there is
something wrong with him,

193
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:36,963
it ain't constipation.

194
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:43,410
Okay.

195
00:08:43,412 --> 00:08:45,479
Let's see if we can find somebody.

196
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,280
Thank you.

197
00:08:47,282 --> 00:08:48,949
Hmm.

198
00:08:54,189 --> 00:08:56,787
Needs a few more Cheetos.

199
00:08:56,790 --> 00:09:00,242
My mother managed to
locate a family psychiatrist

200
00:09:00,245 --> 00:09:01,892
within our price range.

201
00:09:01,895 --> 00:09:03,928
No one seemed to be bothered that he had

202
00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:06,765
a coupon in The Pennysaver.

203
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,675
Is this man gonna make
me eat solid foods?

204
00:09:09,678 --> 00:09:11,737
No, he just wants to
talk to you about it.

205
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:14,571
Did you tell him I have a
lot to accomplish in my life

206
00:09:14,574 --> 00:09:18,043
and cannot afford to be
killed by an unchewed sausage?

207
00:09:18,045 --> 00:09:20,315
Not in those exact words.

208
00:09:23,784 --> 00:09:26,217
Did you bring the coupon?

209
00:09:26,219 --> 00:09:28,219
Hi. Welcome.

210
00:09:28,221 --> 00:09:29,800
You must be the Cooper family.

211
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:30,822
We are.

212
00:09:30,824 --> 00:09:32,257
Right on, right on.

213
00:09:32,259 --> 00:09:34,128
This must be Sheldon.

214
00:09:34,131 --> 00:09:35,527
Put 'er there.

215
00:09:35,529 --> 00:09:37,662
No, thank you.

216
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,631
Right on, right on.

217
00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:42,333
Okay, well, here's how I'd
like to start. Mom and Dad,

218
00:09:42,336 --> 00:09:44,461
why don't you come talk to
me first, and then, Sheldon,

219
00:09:44,463 --> 00:09:46,263
you and I have a little rap session.

220
00:09:47,174 --> 00:09:48,440
Folks?

221
00:09:53,013 --> 00:09:55,315
Right on, right on.

222
00:09:55,318 --> 00:09:57,636
Feel free to read any of my comics.

223
00:10:01,054 --> 00:10:03,792
And you guys feel free
to sit on my beanbag!

224
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,484
40 cents? Outrageous.

225
00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:13,331
As fate would have it,

226
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:16,568
the comic I picked up was called X-Men.

227
00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:18,903
Young mutants with incredible powers

228
00:10:18,905 --> 00:10:21,306
who were feared and misunderstood

229
00:10:21,308 --> 00:10:22,941
by the entire world.

230
00:10:22,943 --> 00:10:25,339
Hey, it's about me.

231
00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:28,753
Now, the thing you have to understand is

232
00:10:28,756 --> 00:10:30,737
Shelly is incredibly bright.

233
00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:33,717
I mean, his IQ is right up
there with Albert Einstein

234
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,287
and that English wheelchair fella.

235
00:10:36,289 --> 00:10:38,237
- Cool.
- He's nine years old

236
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,276
and he's in high school, so you
can't judge him like other kids.

237
00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:42,626
- I hear ya.
- George,

238
00:10:42,629 --> 00:10:44,395
tell him about how he's always going

239
00:10:44,397 --> 00:10:47,365
on and on about subatomic
particles and such.

240
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,151
Oh, he'll get to gabbin' about it.

241
00:10:49,154 --> 00:10:52,369
We're accustomed to
his quirks and oddities.

242
00:10:52,372 --> 00:10:56,674
But this whole "being
afraid of solid foods" thing,

243
00:10:56,676 --> 00:10:58,676
it's got us thrown.

244
00:10:58,678 --> 00:11:01,246
Okay. Let me just start by saying

245
00:11:01,248 --> 00:11:02,847
you came to the right place.

246
00:11:02,849 --> 00:11:05,511
Sheldon and I happen
to have a lot in common.

247
00:11:05,514 --> 00:11:07,452
I, too, was a special little boy.

248
00:11:07,454 --> 00:11:09,087
In the fourth grade, I was reading

249
00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:10,355
at a seventh grade level.

250
00:11:10,357 --> 00:11:11,824
And I don't have to tell you where I was

251
00:11:11,826 --> 00:11:13,362
by the seventh grade.

252
00:11:15,715 --> 00:11:17,089
Tenth.

253
00:11:21,168 --> 00:11:23,636
I'm gonna give the beanbag a whirl.

254
00:11:26,963 --> 00:11:28,396
What are y'all watching?

255
00:11:28,399 --> 00:11:29,698
Little Rascals.

256
00:11:32,214 --> 00:11:34,628
You know most of those
kids are dead, right?

257
00:11:34,631 --> 00:11:35,730
What?

258
00:11:35,733 --> 00:11:38,745
Alfalfa, Stymie, Buckwheat.

259
00:11:38,748 --> 00:11:40,281
Even Petey the dog?

260
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,417
Oh, especially Petey the dog.

261
00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:44,268
Thanks for making it depressing.

262
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,479
You're very welcome.

263
00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:47,215
Y'all want to go get some ice cream?

264
00:11:47,218 --> 00:11:48,217
What about dinner?

265
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,394
What about it? Come on.

266
00:11:50,397 --> 00:11:52,630
Is ALF dead?

267
00:11:52,632 --> 00:11:55,573
No, but it's just a matter of time.

268
00:11:55,576 --> 00:11:58,169
You'd be surprised how many
children have food phobias.

269
00:11:58,178 --> 00:12:00,875
- Is that so?
- Oh, yeah. When I was Sheldon's age,

270
00:12:00,878 --> 00:12:02,409
I was afraid of that weird skin

271
00:12:02,412 --> 00:12:03,753
- on top of puddin'.
- Really?

272
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,849
Me, too. You know, you put
a little Saran Wrap on...

273
00:12:05,852 --> 00:12:07,440
George.

274
00:12:09,731 --> 00:12:11,249
Sheldon?

275
00:12:11,251 --> 00:12:13,244
Where the hell did he go?

276
00:12:13,247 --> 00:12:14,786
Sheldon?

277
00:12:14,788 --> 00:12:16,287
Couldn't have gone far.

278
00:12:16,289 --> 00:12:17,589
Why not?

279
00:12:17,591 --> 00:12:19,457
Right on, right on.

280
00:12:21,561 --> 00:12:23,228
I checked the bathroom, the stairs.

281
00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:24,403
He's not in the building.

282
00:12:24,406 --> 00:12:26,067
I'm worried. No one's answering at home.

283
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:27,622
Stay calm. We'll find him.

284
00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:28,633
You know,

285
00:12:28,635 --> 00:12:29,778
when I was a kid...

286
00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:31,145
Shut up.

287
00:12:31,148 --> 00:12:32,497
Well...

288
00:12:35,274 --> 00:12:37,927
It wasn't typical for
me to wander out into

289
00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:41,517
the urban jungle on my
own, but I was on a mission.

290
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,814
I had gotten my first taste
of serialized superheroes,

291
00:12:45,817 --> 00:12:47,391
and I needed more.

292
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:58,502
Excuse me, do you have X-Men #137?

293
00:12:58,504 --> 00:13:01,238
I'd like to know what
happens next, please.

294
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,380
Back bin in the corner.

295
00:13:04,889 --> 00:13:06,889
What are you doing here?

296
00:13:06,892 --> 00:13:08,292
Oh, hello, Tam.

297
00:13:08,295 --> 00:13:10,595
I thought you said comic
books are for children.

298
00:13:10,598 --> 00:13:12,749
I'm a complicated young man.

299
00:13:15,633 --> 00:13:17,533
I think we should call the police.

300
00:13:17,536 --> 00:13:19,690
We don't need the
police. We'll find him.

301
00:13:19,692 --> 00:13:21,133
This is all my fault.

302
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,771
He ran away because we
took him to a therapist.

303
00:13:23,774 --> 00:13:26,013
That's $15 we ain't getting back.

304
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,664
That's what you're worried about?

305
00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:29,867
No. 'Course not.

306
00:13:32,118 --> 00:13:34,146
And Sheldon's fine.

307
00:13:34,149 --> 00:13:35,915
You know what he's like.

308
00:13:35,918 --> 00:13:37,451
Someone took him,

309
00:13:37,454 --> 00:13:39,654
I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

310
00:13:50,623 --> 00:13:52,656
I'm enjoying this,
but I'm having trouble

311
00:13:52,658 --> 00:13:54,992
with the onomatopoeia.

312
00:13:54,994 --> 00:13:57,094
The what?

313
00:13:57,096 --> 00:13:58,662
The onomatopoeia.

314
00:13:58,664 --> 00:14:00,892
Words that imitate sounds.

315
00:14:00,895 --> 00:14:03,200
"Kthoom." "Snikt""

316
00:14:03,202 --> 00:14:04,635
"Bamf""

317
00:14:04,637 --> 00:14:06,829
Writers shouldn't make up words.

318
00:14:06,832 --> 00:14:09,641
Somebody made up "onomatopoeia."

319
00:14:11,902 --> 00:14:14,678
You challenge me. I like that.

320
00:14:22,755 --> 00:14:25,088
Meemaw, are you gonna vemore?

321
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:26,823
Good Lord, no!

322
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,625
She's too old to have any more babies.

323
00:14:28,627 --> 00:14:30,861
Don't have to have 'em.
You live long enough,

324
00:14:30,863 --> 00:14:32,629
your hair and your
teeth start falling out,

325
00:14:32,631 --> 00:14:35,265
you start wetting the
bed, you get to be one.

326
00:14:35,267 --> 00:14:36,333
That's funny.

327
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,035
We're gonna have to put a diaper on you.

328
00:14:38,037 --> 00:14:40,337
You won't be laughing
when you're doing it.

329
00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:41,865
I might be.

330
00:14:44,857 --> 00:14:48,888
Hey, Meemaw, next to Sheldon,
who's smarter, me or Georgie?

331
00:14:48,891 --> 00:14:50,365
Me, of course.

332
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,500
Why you?

333
00:14:51,502 --> 00:14:53,101
My head's bigger.

334
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:54,770
It doesn't matter.

335
00:14:54,772 --> 00:14:57,539
Tonight is not about Sheldon.

336
00:14:57,541 --> 00:15:00,527
Yeah, right. Everything's
always about Sheldon.

337
00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:01,777
Yeah. Most of the time,

338
00:15:01,779 --> 00:15:03,745
it's like we don't even exist.

339
00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:07,472
I guess Sheldon does get
most of the attention.

340
00:15:07,475 --> 00:15:09,574
Maybe that's a good thing.

341
00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:11,163
How?

342
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:13,321
Well, if it weren't for
him, your parents would be

343
00:15:13,323 --> 00:15:14,956
on your ass all the time.

344
00:15:14,958 --> 00:15:18,026
Yeah. I guess I never thought
about it that way before.

345
00:15:18,028 --> 00:15:21,464
You kidding me? Right now,
they would be nagging you

346
00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:22,998
about cleaning your room

347
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,741
and doing your homework.

348
00:15:24,744 --> 00:15:28,167
Instead, you're sitting
in a parking lot,

349
00:15:28,170 --> 00:15:30,108
eating a Blizzard for dinner.

350
00:15:30,111 --> 00:15:32,673
- With cookie dough in it.
- Exactly.

351
00:15:32,676 --> 00:15:36,745
While Sheldon is stuck sitting
in some boring shrink's office.

352
00:15:36,747 --> 00:15:39,614
Mom told me they were
taking him for a haircut.

353
00:15:40,797 --> 00:15:42,363
Oh. Yeah.

354
00:15:42,366 --> 00:15:44,219
Right.

355
00:15:44,221 --> 00:15:48,256
Well, when he gets home,
say his hair looks good.

356
00:16:02,906 --> 00:16:04,506
What?

357
00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:06,913
Nothing.

358
00:16:18,795 --> 00:16:20,355
You want one?

359
00:16:20,357 --> 00:16:22,257
No.

360
00:16:22,259 --> 00:16:24,259
Well...

361
00:16:24,261 --> 00:16:26,592
if you change your mind, help yourself.

362
00:16:28,899 --> 00:16:31,394
I didn't have to read many comic books

363
00:16:31,397 --> 00:16:35,386
to understand that every
superhero had a weakness,

364
00:16:35,389 --> 00:16:37,311
something they had to overcome

365
00:16:37,314 --> 00:16:39,848
through an extraordinary act of courage.

366
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,417
For Cyclops, it was
the loss of Jean Grey.

367
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,815
For Rogue, it was human touch.

368
00:16:46,817 --> 00:16:49,870
For me, it was food
that required chewing.

369
00:16:49,873 --> 00:16:53,339
So if I truly was a mutant,
I would have to do the same.

370
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:10,605
On this day, I would not be defeated.

371
00:17:12,549 --> 00:17:15,183
Because this was the day I became...

372
00:17:15,846 --> 00:17:19,414
The Chewer.

373
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:23,552
Just like that, I overcame
my fear of choking.

374
00:17:23,554 --> 00:17:26,388
All that was left was my fear of dogs,

375
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:28,623
birds, insects, germs,

376
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:30,392
hugging, button fly pants,

377
00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:32,646
rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans,

378
00:17:32,649 --> 00:17:35,545
estuaries, corduroy, root vegetables,

379
00:17:35,548 --> 00:17:37,315
squeaky balloons, tinted windows,

380
00:17:37,318 --> 00:17:39,785
take a penny, leave a penny, fireworks,

381
00:17:39,788 --> 00:17:41,863
potbelly stoves, dust bunnies,

382
00:17:41,866 --> 00:17:44,233
that fuzz on peaches. Ugh.

383
00:17:45,707 --> 00:17:48,488
What I find interesting
is how many supervillains

384
00:17:48,491 --> 00:17:51,396
are scientists: Doctor Octopus,

385
00:17:51,399 --> 00:17:54,067
Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor,

386
00:17:54,069 --> 00:17:56,869
Green Goblin, the list goes on and on.

387
00:17:56,871 --> 00:17:58,071
So?

388
00:17:58,073 --> 00:18:00,240
So if the world doesn't respect me,

389
00:18:00,242 --> 00:18:01,743
I might change sides.

390
00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:07,013
Uh-oh.

391
00:18:07,015 --> 00:18:08,395
Good luck.

392
00:18:15,824 --> 00:18:18,535
I tried to explain to my parents

393
00:18:18,538 --> 00:18:20,392
that a mutant named Cyclops,

394
00:18:20,395 --> 00:18:22,662
who shoots laser beams out of his eyes,

395
00:18:22,664 --> 00:18:24,664
helped me eat a licorice stick.

396
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,567
Went right over their heads.

397
00:18:26,595 --> 00:18:30,985
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