I'm gonna kill somebody if we don't get a drink.
Lead the way.
Hi. Can I get two vodka Red Bulls?
- Yeah. - Thank you.
It's sad out there.
You think it's douchelord night and nobody told us?
You're terrible, you know that?
I'm just telling it like it is.
Like, some people should not be allowed in public
without a warning label.
Okay, cheers to getting what we want
but never what we deserve.
To everything in moderation,
especially moderation.
Only way to save this night might be to break out the edibles.
Speaking of edibles.
Shit.
Why do guys like that never come in pairs?
You know what that means. I saw him first.
All right, just watch yourself.
It's not exactly the safest world out there right now.
Don't end up on the news.
Didn't mean to scare off your friend.
It's okay. I believe everybody should be a little scared now and then.
What about you? You like getting scared?
I'd rather give than receive.
I believe that.
You gonna tell me your name?
Marci.
I'm Wyatt.
Yes!
That was...
that was a fucking ride.
Yeah.
All right, cowboy, time to saddle up.
I'm not a fucking pillow.
Okay, okay. Jesus.
I guess this is the part where you ask for my number.
It is?
Then you ask if I want to see you again,
and then you're texting me every day, and soon after that,
it's "Why aren't we getting serious?"
Ooh, boy. I move fast.
You're all the same.
You, my ex, all of you.
You act like you just want to party, that...
you're out for a good time, but...
what you really want is a mark.
From the bottom of my heart, Cowboy,
there is only want one thing I want from you, just one thing.
Yeah. Here it comes.
Get the fuck out of my car.
What's your problem?
Okay, okay.
Go!
Okay, I mean, if you want to get nasty, let's get nasty.
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
_
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You had to outrun him?
He was just some creep, Chaz. Probably just drunk.
- What did he look like? - I don't know.
I didn't get to look at him. It was way too dark.
So, how do you know he didn't follow you home?
I'm telling you, I lost him.
If you're really so worried, then just go check outside.
He's not there.
Have you been checking the news?
People missing from nightclubs.
Maybe there's a serial killer. It is all over the place.
Maybe you should try Internet dating for a while.
No way. Internet dating's a freak show.
Okay, well, then, maybe I should come out with you at night.
I-I know that that is crossing a boundary,
but we don't have to go together, okay?
We can just be in the same building.
Just because you're worried about me
doesn't mean you get to torch our lives.
I don't want to torch our lives.
I'm just trying to make sure that you're being safe.
Well, it really just feels like you want things to be different.
The way that they were.
No. No, no, no. Hey.
No regrets. Okay?
I am in this marriage with open eyes.
I just want you to be happy.
I don't think you should cover this.
It's part of you and I love it.
When you say you want me to be happy, Chaz,
it's like I forced you into this.
I mean, aren't you?
Aren't I what?
Happy.
Yes. Yes, of course.
But I could be happier. Okay? I-It's been a while.
And if we don't share anything, we don't have a relationship,
open or closed or whatever.
Well, we share more than most people ever do.
We could share more. Okay?
I'm supposed to be the primary partner,
but sometimes it feels like I come in second.
I'm sorry, Chaz. I'm...
I'm tired. I want to go to bed.
It's been a crazy night.
Crazy for you, not for me.
Hey.
Jesus. Fuck. Chaz.
It's after 3:00. What are... what are you doing down here?
I came to check the locks. Thought I heard a noise.
- What'd you hear? - I... I don't know.
I was sleeping, so probably just nothing.
You think it's that guy in the Jeep, don't you?
It's literally nothing.
I thought I heard a noise, I checked, nobody's here.
Can we just go to bed, please?
Some guys have a hard time with the whole open marriage thing.
Like, they try and say they're okay with it,
but they're really all fucked up in the head about it.
Well, you know Chaz. You think he's like that?
Girl, I think they're all like that.
How long have you guys been trying this?
Eight months.
He's probably just mad he's not getting as much action as you.
Well, he could.
Check this out.
"A 22-year-old local woman is missing
"after a night of partying at the Enigma dance club.
"Police fear her disappearance may be tied
to other recent disappearances from clubs in the area."
How does this not make you think?
The Wrangler that was following you, flashing his lights at you like that,
it's exactly like the urban legend.
So, this woman is driving home from work late at night
when suddenly, this van starts following her.
It keeps flashing its high beams at her,
even rams her car.
So, eventually, she outruns him.
So she thinks it's all over, right?
Except it's not.
It wasn't until she got home that she realized
the guy flashing his high beams was trying to warn her.
Her friends found her body the next day.
And guess where her head was.
If there was a killer in my back seat,
then he's still there, because, hello,
I'm alive, and thriving.
You know, this missing guy looks familiar.
Piper, there is not a serial killer
or urban legend in the world
that's gonna stop me from doing my thing.
And you better not even think about ditching me tonight.
I guess someone's got to watch your back.
But no more doing guys in your car, okay?
Yeah.
Fuck.
Fuck me.
How do you fuck me so hard
but you make me feel like I'm not even here?
Practice.
Sign me up for more of that.
Did you want to go back inside or do you want to hang out here?
Who's that?
You need to leave.
- Okay. Just hold on, let me... - Right now.
Yeah, no, I heard you.
- Keep going. - Jesus. Crazy-ass bitch.
What are you doing here, Piper?
I could ask you the same thing. You promised me.
I said I wouldn't take a guy back to my car.
Cute.
Just tell me, are you, like, a sex addict or something?
Is this something you can't control, or, like, are you...
What? Am I what?
Okay, I'm not a psychiatrist, but is this you making up for high school?
'Cause that's, like, really fucked up.
Oh, my God.
I just want to have some fun.
Am I not allowed to have some fucking fun?
I'm tired of being ditched.
You're just using me to get creeps and skanks
out to your car while you bang away.
And I know I'm supposed to be supportive and not judgmental,
but that's really fucking sick.
I can't tell if you're actually angry at me or you're just jealous.
I'm done. I'm done with you. That's what I am.
- Good. - Your husband's right.
- Fuck you, Piper. - You're a disgusting freak.
Fucking bitch!
Hey.
Anyone ever tell you you look a lot like my husband?
Marci. Hey, you're-you're here.
Yeah, I am here. So are you. What are you doing here?
Well, you told me to get out more, so I'm out.
I didn't mean to start following me around.
Jesus, between you and Piper, I feel like I'm in prison.
I'm not following you around.
I didn't even know you were gonna be here. All right? What's up with Piper?
Do not change the subject.
You knew exactly where I was going tonight.
If we're gonna start lying to each other now,
- this just isn't gonna work. - Okay.
All right, fine, fine. I'm worried about you.
Okay? I'm-I'm watching out for you. That's what I'm doing.
It's called being your husband.
I'm not having this conversation here.
This is not the time or place.
I came here to be free, to have fun.
I can't do either of those things
if you're standing around like a fucking chaperone.
So do I leave or do you?
Come on! Let's go!
Shit, I have to go. I'll call you later.
No, I'll call you.
7...
1-1-8...
V-X-9.
7-1-1-8-V-X-9.
Shit.
_
I don't want to do this.
I tried to tell myself that I was okay with it,
that it didn't matter what you were doing with other people
as long as I was number one, but I'm not number one.
I'm just some guy that you share a mortgage with.
- That's not true. - Come on. We said no lying.
I just have something inside of me
that's always hungry.
And I can't stop.
And I can't keep going this way.
So what do you want to do?
I got to think about it.
Maybe I get an apartment, we...
spend some time alone, see where we come out.
_
Chaz?
That's you.
So that's where you work.
There you are.
Hi.
- Can I help you? - Hi.
I'm looking for a new cutlery set.
Cutlery.
You came at the perfect time,
because we're having a sale on cutlery.
This one here...
50% off.
Recommended by the Food Network. High-carbon stainless steel.
She is a beaut.
- Is that good? - Yeah, it's the best.
And it's functional.
If I were on the market for another set, this would absolutely be the one I would get.
In fact, I have one of these bad boys at my house.
Try it.
You feel how there's a nice balance
between the handle and the blade?
A good knife should feel like an extension
of one's hand.
I never thought about it, like that.
I'm not much of a chef.
No?
Well, if you don't use it for cooking...
you can always use it to get rid of your boyfriend.
I don't have a boyfriend.
How's that possible?
I have a husband.
That's a disappointment for me.
Well, this would work on your husband.
- Is there anything else I can help you with? - No.
I've seen enough.
I'm gonna be late for work. Thank you.
If you decide to come back,
I'm here till 7:00.
My name's Paul.
_
What are you doing in my house?
You swing at me with that, you better not miss.
Wait, I know you.
You were at the store today, asking about knives.
Yeah, you didn't lie to me. You do own these.
Yeah.
I'm gonna ask one more time. What are you doing in my house?
The other night, the Nirvana club,
I was driving home and you came up behind me,
you kept flashing your high beams at me over and over,
and then you ran into me. Why?
- Holy shit, that was you? - Yes, and you freaked me out.
- How did you even find me? - What does it matter?
I told you why I came here, so just...
- just tell me why you were following me. - I was trying to help you.
By ramming into me?
- How? How is that helping me? - I needed to warn you.
Warn me about what?
Take your time, beautiful.
What the fuck?
Shit.
Come on, man. Come on, guy. Move. Fucking move.
Shit.
That's why you were flashing me? You thought you saw someone in my back seat?
No, no, no. I didn't think I saw someone, I know I saw someone.
And with the newspapers talking about a possible serial killer on the loose,
I thought you might be next.
Shit. Lady.
Fucking look at me.
Come on.
Shit.
Fuck.
Come on.
Sorry...
Shit.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I don't know where you went. You just disappeared, you were gone.
- I was behind the car wash. - Damn.
I must have drove around for 30 minutes.
I even called the cops,
but I didn't have anything to tell them that they could act on,
because I didn't get your license plate.
Well, I got yours.
Wait, does this mean, last night, that that was you following me?
Yeah. Who did you think it was?
I thought it might've been the killer.
I thought that he must've killed you
and took your car,
that he'd come for me.
Wow, you've got one hell of an imagination, you know that?
But as you can see,
I'm not dead, so, I mean,
whoever you thought you saw in my back seat
wasn't a serial killer.
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
Well, maybe you didn't see what you thought you saw.
I should thank you.
- Thank me? - Yeah.
You did try and save me.
And not a lot of people put their neck out like that.
Not in today's world.
Yeah.
Are you sure that there was no one else in your car?
I think I would've noticed something like that.
Wow, this is, like, such a funny story, how we met.
And now I know where you live...
and you know who I am,
so maybe we could get together.
I actually don't know your name.
My name's Marci.
What the fuck? What'd you do to me?
- Night, night. - You fucking crazy bitch.
Fucking kill you...
Fucking bitch.
Fuck you...
Fucking bitch.
I tried to fucking help you.
Are you okay?
- What are you doing here? - Don't be mad.
- Oh, my God. - I'm still following you. Okay?
I can't help it, Marci. I worry about you.
I told you, you need to start using something stronger.
This stuff takes too long.
Sorry. Okay. There.
Still sore?
A little, but I think the Advil's kicking in.
Are you sure you don't want to lay down for a while?
I can keep an eye on your guest.
No, I feel better when I work.
I don't deserve you.
I found an apartment in the city.
I can move in as soon as tomorrow.
Let me know when you're done and I'll help you finish up one last time.
You're awake.
A little bruising, but nothing makeup can't hide.
Actually, it was kind of exciting.
I didn't know I was one of those girls who like to be choked,
so thanks for opening up that door.
You're probably wondering what's going to happen to you.
Don't worry. I'm going to tell you.
I like all my guests to know exactly what's going to happen to them.
You get more out of it.
Too bad your luck isn't as good as your eyesight,
because you were right.
There was someone in my back seat, but...
he wasn't a killer, he was a victim.
My sixth, to be exact.
The media hasn't caught up yet, but that's okay,
'cause some people just aren't missed.
I'm not doing this for the likes,
I am doing this as a public service.
I am ridding the world of entitled assholes
who think they're all that.
And now, they're all buried in my wine cellar,
including that waste of space that you saw in my back seat.
Although he was a real prize.
Textbook misogynist.
From the bottom of my heart, Cowboy,
there is just one thing I want from you.
- Just one thing. - Yeah. Here it comes.
Get the fuck out of my car.
- Fuck you, then. - Dihydroetorphine.
This, vets use to paralyze large animals.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing?
I must have the child lock on.
Although it can be tricky at times,
it's hard to get the right exact dose,
because you have to do it in the neck
so it goes straight to the brain.
Even then, sometimes it works fast, sometimes it works slow.
Sometimes, it doesn't seem to work at all.
Can you just stay the fuck down?
And then...
you show up.
And now I've got a problem,
because I have this guy in my back seat...
Stay the fuck down
or I'll kill you in this car right fucking now.
and I've a Good Samaritan flashing his lights, ramming me.
By the way, you caused $700 damage to my car.
But that's besides the point.
The point is, I got my shit together.
You almost ruined everything.
You almost ruined the one reason I have
for being on this Earth...
the species of you that made my life
an endless shit-fest.
Do you know what it's like going through high school
with this on your face?
And there were so many people,
so many people that made fun of me.
And who joined in?
People like you.
Winners.
Top of the food chain type of people.
You led the charge and you kept me in hell.
No, no, no, no.
You want to know how I got out of it?
How I came out on the other side?
'Cause I found the right partner
who always was there for me, knew exactly how I felt.
It's...
the most important thing, it's everything.
Nice balance.
A good knife should feel like an extension of your hand.
Anyways, you're in luck tonight, Mr. Good Samaritan.
because usually, I'd work on you for a while,
but my throat hurts, thanks to you,
so I'm just gonna skip right to the end.
Plus, it's my husband's job to bury you,
and he's earned himself an early night.
This is wrong.
This is all wrong.
It's just been...
It's been wrong for a while.
Don't go anywhere.
That was fast. I'll be right down.
You're gonna have to start thinking about using the backyard,
'cause the cellar's getting pretty full.
Chaz, I-I want to start over.
Start over?
I'm serious.
I don't, I don't want to do this anymore without you.
I want you to come with me,
I want you to do more than just bury the bodies.
That's a big step.
I know. It's okay.
I can help you.
And it can be something we can share.
How can I say no?
And I think I know the perfect person to start with.
Okay.
Let's do this.
I love you.
I love you, too.
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