1 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,352 Last season on Harley Quinn, 2 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,812 my bestie Ivy was engaged to this lame-o, 3 00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,522 but I was in love with her, too. 4 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,774 Joker got a second acid bath. I kicked Psycho's ass. 5 00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,860 Hard passed Darkseid. 6 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,005 Saved Ivy from her own wedding and we drove off into the sunset. 7 00:00:30,007 --> 00:00:31,780 What do you think we did next, hmm? 8 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:45,210 Now let's shed those leaves. 9 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,172 Uh, yeah, I'm Ivy, ooh, yea... 10 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:49,506 I don't even wear leaves. 11 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,759 Still, ya gotta respect the hustle. 12 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,726 I mean, they wrote, shot, and edited this in two weeks since Psycho blew up our spot. 13 00:00:54,728 --> 00:00:58,015 Was that only two weeks ago? It feels like so much longer. 14 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,767 I know, right? 15 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,643 The sign says "no girls allowed" 16 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:03,061 Superman's dead dad? 17 00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:05,397 Harlivy? What are you doing here? 18 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,232 Ooh! Is that our official celeb couple name? 19 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,318 Ugh, I would have just gone with "Hivey". 20 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,862 I hadn't said it out loud before, it looks better in writing. 21 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:15,949 Now surrender, fugitives! Wait, are you watching a dirty movie? 22 00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:18,827 This is the Fortress of Solitude! 23 00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:21,163 L-O-L a "dirty movie"? 24 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,750 Uh, relax, we just dropped in to chill for a bit and eat all your chips 25 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,293 while Gordon's looking for us, okay? 26 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:28,086 Your big, dumb son says it's okay. 27 00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,338 Oh, did he now? 28 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,340 Perhaps we should call him. 29 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:34,426 - You really don't have to do that. - Yeah, don't do that. 30 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,638 Ladies, your honeymoon is over. 31 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,807 Wrong again! It's just beginning! 32 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,517 C'mon, Hivey, let's bounce. 33 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,854 Come back here and face justice! 34 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,981 Wait, did you sign up for HBO Max? 35 00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:50,025 I already used my free trial! 36 00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:52,069 Shit, shit, shit, where'd we park? God! 37 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,445 How does Wonder Woman keep track of this damn jet? 38 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,783 Oh! It's right over there. Yay! 39 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,701 So, what do we do now? 40 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:02,454 Let the "Eat Bang Kill" tour begin. 41 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,581 Come here. 42 00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:10,254 To us, together at last. 43 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:13,341 Harley and Ivy take over the fucking world! 44 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,631 Hello? Hello? 45 00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:23,777 - This is Commissioner Gordon. - Oh, he's on! He's on! You, you! 46 00:02:23,779 --> 00:02:25,811 This is the IRS calling, sir, 47 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,397 you have a $90,000 lien on your house. 48 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,566 How in the he... is this about my ex-wife? 49 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,902 We're gonna need to confirm your identity. What's your credit card number again? 50 00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:37,573 - Oh, life saver! So, any credit card? - Gimme, gimme, gimme! 51 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,199 The one with the highest limit. 52 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,578 Okay, let's see. You ready for the number? Four-six... 53 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,622 - Charge it to the room. - Missus and Missus Gordon. 54 00:02:49,248 --> 00:02:51,248 _ 55 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,297 Ugh. 56 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,927 Send our regards to whatever shitty tabloid you work for! 57 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:03,307 And tell Ben Affleck I upper-decked his fancy soda stream! 58 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,397 _ 59 00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,647 Champagne, my queen? 60 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:13,400 Harls, I gotta tell ya, this trip you have planned for us... 61 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:14,902 Call her by her name. 62 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:18,572 Right, the "Eat Bang Kill Tour," is just so sweet, 63 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,157 it's so fun, and then raunchy... 64 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,867 ...and then a little scary. 65 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,702 I know, it's going to be hard to top 66 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,662 punching a bunch of Buckingham guards in the dick though. 67 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,581 Oh, oh, tell me your favorite part. 68 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,375 Um, I really liked walking through the Queen's rose garden. 69 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:33,045 Each rose totally blooming to her full potential. 70 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,755 I'm like what is this woman's secret... 71 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,007 It's all about the sprinkler schedule. 72 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,383 Who said that? 73 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,427 Queen Elizabeth the second? 74 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:44,222 - How did she get in here? - She shoved me in a bag. 75 00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:46,308 Happy two-week anniversary! 76 00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,477 Oh, wow, wow, Harls. 77 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:52,357 - What you... You don't like it? - No, I do. I do. 78 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,136 I like it. 79 00:03:55,138 --> 00:03:58,595 It's so pleasurable to meet you, your majesty. 80 00:03:58,597 --> 00:04:02,199 Aren't people going to be, like, looking for her? I just took my bra off. 81 00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:07,454 I gotcha, Ive. We'll wrap this thing up quick! 82 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:10,749 Let's commemorate with an emergency photo shoot. 83 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,251 Kiss under the missile for good luck, Ive! 84 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,922 Okay, okay, I think we got the shot! Time to lose our tail. 85 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,757 It's been real, your majesty! Later! 86 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,926 Watch the... Harley, no! 87 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,344 Yeah, she's got an invisible parachute. 88 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:25,931 I am gonna choose not to question that. 89 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:31,520 The potholes, the sinkholes, toxic puddles, super squirrels, exploding sewers, 90 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:35,607 haunted crosswalks, we've got children driving busses, 91 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,901 pregnant rats on every corner, 92 00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:40,884 it costs $38 to mail a letter... Personally, 93 00:04:40,885 --> 00:04:43,865 I loaded up on forever stamps in high school, 94 00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:45,784 but not everyone's smart like that. 95 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,496 So is that a question or? 96 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:52,791 If you're elected mayor, how the hell you gonna fix all this, Gordon? 97 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,584 Cheryl, you're my lieutenant! 98 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:57,504 I've got step-kids to feed and you're blowing our tax money 99 00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:03,218 on tanks, robocops, and GCPD branded water bottles. 100 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,303 Eh, we paid for it with the library tax. 101 00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:07,639 Most people are only in there to use the bathroom, anyway. 102 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,725 Why's everybody mad at me? 103 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:13,812 The biggest existential threat to Gotham is criminals like Harley Quinn 104 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:16,231 and Poison Ivy, who continue to wreak havoc. 105 00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:18,984 I'll do whatever it takes to bring them to justice. 106 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,362 Mayor, you have 30 seconds to respond. 107 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,281 Your police budget is out of control. 108 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,116 You're the mayor! You approved my budget! 109 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,201 - Lame! - Boo yourself! 110 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:31,580 Hold on! I've dedicated my life to trying to keep this piece of shit city safe! 111 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,373 - You stink! - Nuh-uh! 112 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:34,875 Hashtag team Harlivy! 113 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,544 You suck! 114 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:43,675 I'll bring Harley and Ivy to justice, and then you'll change your tune! 115 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,803 Everyone's gonna be whistlin' Jimmy Gordon baby! 116 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,639 - Fuck you! - No, fuck you! 117 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,686 I think that went pretty well. What do you think? 118 00:05:58,130 --> 00:06:00,626 Can you believe it's been 16 whole days since we've been together? 119 00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,319 I'm sorry, who's flying this plane? 120 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,011 It's on autopilot. Oh, shit, wait, hold on. 121 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:09,034 Okay, now it's on autopilot. 122 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,109 I know I've been showering you with super 123 00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:13,538 thoughtful gifts to an almost exhausting degree, 124 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:18,293 but get ready 'cause this next one's gonna blow your skirt up. 125 00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:20,003 But it's also very chill. 126 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:26,885 We've been doing all this intense bad guy fighting, which you do often enjoy, 127 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,596 but there's this whole other side to you which is like, 128 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,765 plants! And I love that, too. 129 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,683 Surprise! 130 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:37,854 Ugh! No! I thought I smelled stone-age pollen. Why did you bring me here? 131 00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:41,399 Uh, what? You built this beautiful place. It's your baby. 132 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,778 I thought you'd get excited and maybe we'd mess around a little bit. 133 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:48,615 Come on, let's have sex in your baby! 134 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:52,035 I... I brought you here because I thought it would inspire you. 135 00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:55,705 Harley, it's not inspiring, it's... It's a total failure. 136 00:06:55,706 --> 00:07:00,794 I... I had this dumb idea to terraform Earth using prehistoric plants. 137 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,337 Ah! 138 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,256 You know and then I called it Edin with an "I" for Ivy. 139 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,299 That's so cute! 140 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,760 Okay, the name's not great. But the... But the idea is! 141 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,530 I worked on it for like way too long, and 142 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,514 then I could only grow this one shitty acre... 143 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:17,102 Of the most beautiful jungle anyone's ever seen! My girl! 144 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,437 No, I failed over and over again. 145 00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:23,441 I designed it, like, ten years ago, the colors are so dated. Oh, my God! 146 00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:26,111 I feel like I'm in, like, an Urban Outfitters sale section. 147 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:29,531 Hey. Neon is back! Some people say it never went away. 148 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:33,160 Ivy, you spent the last two years helping me with my stupid bullshit 149 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,661 and making chili with your ex. 150 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,955 Yeah. I also died and was resurrected. 151 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,958 Yes, exactly. You are a badass evil villain. 152 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,835 You should mold the world to your vision. 153 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,129 It's time to focus on what you want. 154 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:47,591 Since we're here, it's at least worth looking around, right? 155 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:52,137 I mean, the root system does look pretty strong. 156 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,764 I used to be so into that. 157 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:57,475 Okay. Fine. 158 00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:59,213 We can look around. But let's make it quick. 159 00:08:00,227 --> 00:08:01,737 _ 160 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:07,152 - Oh, my God! Babe! - What? What? 161 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,154 Did the queen find us? Do we need to finish her off? 162 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,655 Start an international incident? 163 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,658 I just negotiated the correct pH in the groundwater! 164 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,536 Oh, cool, I'm loving how inspired you are. 165 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:19,748 Bee-tee-dubs, in case other people ask me, what's the wi-fi here? 166 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,834 There's no wi-fi in Edin... That's like the whole point. 167 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:27,214 A paradise that reverses all the damage humans have done to the environment. 168 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:31,676 Where ancient plants can finally bloom to their full potential! 169 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,011 Totally! 170 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:36,348 Reclaiming every inch from toxic factories, 171 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,767 fast food chains. Bravolebrities! 172 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,019 But not the ones that make their own wine, right? 173 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,773 I cannot go back to buying based on the label. No fucking way. 174 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:49,694 Just imagine, you and me, sitting in the sun, living off the nectars. 175 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,906 We don't have to run from anybody or bash any heads in. 176 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,242 Um, yeah, yeah, that is so cool. 177 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,453 You know, I don't need to bash people's heads in or have wi-fi. 178 00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:02,082 I can just sit here. Maybe I'll learn to talk to flowers or something. 179 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,501 And this mind control device? Who needs it! 180 00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:08,797 Oh, look at this soil! 181 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,132 The Staghorn fern is self-propagating, 182 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:14,052 so if I can get the right acidity levels... 183 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,306 And then, who knows, Terraforming could be possible! 184 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:24,145 Ooh! An unknown number, maybe it's a telemarketer, I'd better answer it! 185 00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,897 Hello, outside world! 186 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,899 Oh, hey, girl! It's King Shark. 187 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,735 OMG K.S. Bang Bang! What's happening in Gotham? Tell me all the hot goss! 188 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,279 Well, funny you should ask, 189 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:36,074 we're being tortured. So, how are things with you? 190 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,076 Wait... You're being tortured? By who? 191 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:41,705 Oh, I hate to be a spoilsport but me and Clayface are incarcerated. 192 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,957 Gordon nabbed us at the wedding. 193 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,625 He's holding us in Arkham. 194 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:48,336 But if you're too busy to rescue us, we understand... 195 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,796 No! We'll be right there! 196 00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:52,966 Ivy! I've got some terrible news! 197 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,012 So, let's just in and out, no extra drama. 198 00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:00,682 My seedlings are just in a crucial stage and I want to get back ASAP. 199 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,976 Oh, yeah, me, too, can't miss the crucial seedling stage. 200 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:05,145 You know, as soon as we make Gordon pay for messing with our crew! 201 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:08,148 Let's skip Arkham and crash this jet right into Gordon's house 202 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,066 and slaughter his entire family! 203 00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,444 Honey, I know you haven't punched anyone in the dick in two days, 204 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,612 but we have to be smart about this. 205 00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:17,449 Actually, yesterday there was a fox that tried to take a shit too close to me. So... 206 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,367 Gordon could be using him as bait. 207 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:22,579 A shark as bait? Ha! That is so fucked up. God, you're smart! 208 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,748 This is why we make a great team. 209 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:28,460 You with your brilliantly thought out strategies and plant goddess superpowers, 210 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,962 and me with... 211 00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:32,672 - You gonna fill that part in? - What? 212 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,299 Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. I was just... 213 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:43,641 - Your hair looks really good today. - I know, right? 214 00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:48,063 The shark found the phone we planted and called Harley just like we thought he would. 215 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,776 I bring down Harley and Ivy, no one's gonna be complaining about the potholes, 216 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:56,154 the sinkholes, toxic puddles, exploding sewers, haunted... 217 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,823 This is torture! Let me out of here! 218 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:02,410 Chin up, buddy! Before you know it, Harley is going to bust us out. 219 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,496 She better do it soon. 220 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:08,166 I have an audition in six hours for the new Thomas Wayne biographical picture! 221 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,001 "A Hard Wayne's Gonna Fall." 222 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:13,713 Another movie about a bipedal billionaire. 223 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,632 And a trashy reboot at that. 224 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,843 Stop it! That puckish auteur James Gunn, 225 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:23,681 is spreading his wings into the horizons of award season drama! 226 00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:26,935 If you can't make the audition, why don't you just submit a tape? 227 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,646 We could just use the phone that suspiciously showed up 228 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,523 in my French bread pizza at lunch. 229 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,108 Oh, like now? 230 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:36,486 Hello. Clayface. Arkham Asylum. Five to seven feet tall, 231 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,197 or whatever suits the role of "Thug Number Three." 232 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:44,035 Willing to shave. Anywhere. 233 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:48,165 Is this gonna be much longer? I gotta go pick up a prescription for my lizard. 234 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,502 Pay dirt! 235 00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:54,463 Freeze! 236 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,467 I'm getting nervous about Britney and Kylie's improv skills with Gordon. 237 00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:01,450 They're trained professionals. I'm sure they're 238 00:12:01,451 --> 00:12:03,346 gonna buy us at least another five minutes. 239 00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:06,057 Oh, no! Have we been bad? 240 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,935 Ooh, we need someone to punish us. 241 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,187 Not Commissioner Gordon! 242 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:14,816 Ooh, we respect and fear him so much. 243 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,818 Something about this doesn't seem right. 244 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,736 Hold on, let's hear them out. 245 00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:22,699 What the? Adult film actresses Kylie Kryptonite and Britney Bionic? 246 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,076 - I'm a huge fan! - Loved you in the "Drilling Joke." 247 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,137 Sign my gun? 248 00:12:26,139 --> 00:12:28,746 Can I get an autograph? It's for my husband. 249 00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:35,149 Wait. This is where you drugged and kidnapped 250 00:12:35,150 --> 00:12:37,922 me to help me escape an abusive relationship. 251 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,257 Harlivy! 252 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,134 Shark face! 253 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,469 You look radiant! 254 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,096 Oh, thanks! We've been doing a ton of fucking. 255 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,723 To the jet! Quick! 256 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,517 God, I can't believe I just said that, that was so lame. 257 00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:52,020 Should I try that again? You know what, never mind, let's just go. 258 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,942 Watch where you're going, Karen! 259 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:01,279 Excuse you, bitch! You just bumped into Poison Ivy. 260 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,115 One of the premier supervillains in this world, 261 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,035 newly inspired for some really cool shit she's working on. 262 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,413 - And my BFF GFF slash... - Hottest woman alive. 263 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:14,292 Supervillain? Ha! She hasn't done anything evil in years! 264 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:17,378 Where the fuck do you get off? You... 265 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,297 Come on, Harley, let's go. 266 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,014 - Yeah. - You're not coming with? 267 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,934 We're gonna jet back to Edin and continue the important work we were doing 268 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,144 with the leaves and measuring them... 269 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,812 Probably having lunch at some point... 270 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,607 Then maybe, maybe more leaf inspections... 271 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,484 And you're enjoying that? 272 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:43,363 Oh, yeah! I love chaos but I also love plants. Just like my lady. 273 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,782 Harley, I mean, if you want to hang with them, you don't have to come... 274 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,493 Are you kidding? There's nothing I'd rather do than listen to bae 275 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,662 talk about chlorophyll for a couple of weeks. 276 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,455 So I won't be needing these... 277 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:55,875 The nuclear codes expire on Tuesday. Miss ya, mean it! 278 00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:58,336 Stop by whenever and also call me if anything cool happens 279 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,673 and even anything uncool happens I don't want to miss out. Bye! 280 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,508 - Huh? - Mmm-mmm. 281 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,511 You're what the French call "Les Incompetents." 282 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,680 - That's a little... - Losing Harley and Ivy again, 283 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:12,850 and now half the GCPD is suspended for the shit they posted on social media 284 00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,520 with porn stars. I should have your badge! 285 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,605 We'll let the people decide who's gonna take whose job 286 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:19,274 when I kick your butt in the election. 287 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,693 You don't stand a chance. 288 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,861 Just ask my campaign manager. 289 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:26,614 What? How could you do this to me? 290 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,866 Do you know what my name is? 291 00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:33,329 - Harvey Dent. - Right, but my moniker? 292 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:37,668 - Oh! - I still don't get it. 293 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,381 Ooh! Big whoops. Whatevs. 294 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,967 Enjoy your seventh term, Mr. Mayor! 295 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:50,138 Just know this open sewer of a city and its shit problems are all yours 296 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,224 and I hope you choke on 'em. 297 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,231 Stupid squirrel! 298 00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,162 Ah, damn kid bus drivers! 299 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:24,505 Live by the polls, die by the polls. Poetic. 300 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:27,426 Good news is I just became available again. 301 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,438 No! 302 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:45,276 I just put the tea kettle on, do you want chamomile or jasmine? 303 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,611 What? 304 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,780 Nothing. 305 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,325 - What is that noise? - Well, I mean, it is our 18th day anniversary. 306 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,703 I'll give it to you later. Actually no, I'll give it to you now. 307 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,228 So what is it with you and, like, bags of people? 308 00:15:59,229 --> 00:16:01,250 Surprise! 309 00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,795 Oh, my gosh. Harley! Do you know who this is? 310 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,297 Yeah, it's the munch who said you weren't evil! 311 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,882 Let's feed her to a plant or something! 312 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,801 Give her an unflattering haircut for her face shape! 313 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,803 Show her you are the baddest bitch on the planet! 314 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,639 She's head of the Suicide Squad. 315 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,058 Oh, so you're Amanda Waller? 316 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:20,103 Oh, whoa, we need to make a Gotham yearbook or something. 317 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,481 I know the names but not the faces, but sometimes the faces and not the names. 318 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,732 Harls. 319 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,777 You never returned my emails. 320 00:16:26,779 --> 00:16:29,404 Yeah, thanks for the t-shirts and all, but the only squad I'm joining is Cobb. 321 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,197 Yet you still refuse to get the tattoo. 322 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:33,116 What's your damage, Waller? 323 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,827 Always perving on supervillains and putting bombs in their heads. 324 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,872 You think you're hot shit but no one's above being rude to my bae! Now apologize. 325 00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,166 You think you can kidnap me without repercussions? 326 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:44,293 I eat repercussions for breakfast! 327 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,504 Harley, why are you stirring up drama right now? 328 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,507 We are supposed to be checking mitochondrial reactions. 329 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,342 This is not drama, okay? 330 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,469 What's she gonna do? She's wearing a pencil skirt. 331 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:57,640 You dance with me, you dance with the entirety of a team of renegades 332 00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:01,686 who take on the dirty jobs the U.S. Government won't even do. 333 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,440 Captain Boomerang. 334 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,233 Killer Croc. 335 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,152 Enchantress. 336 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,486 Dead shot. 337 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:11,863 Katana. 338 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,615 Together they are, The Suicide Squad. 339 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:18,703 Some of the meanest psychos who are alerted whenever Amanda Waller 340 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,079 sends out the signal. 341 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,082 Which you did about two hours ago. 342 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,668 That's pretty cool, eh? P.R. put it together. 343 00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:28,296 Oh, they want your notes by end of day. No rush. 344 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,173 Uh, hey! Can I see it? 345 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,341 Oh, sure, yeah, I'll send you the link. Right after I kill ya. 346 00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:34,594 You kill us? You didn't even make the montage! 347 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,137 Where's everybody else? 348 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,890 Oh, uh, P.R. has the A-team overthrowing a dictator 349 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,267 in Central America. But... 350 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:46,572 - I am Plastique. And I'm "the bomb." - _ 351 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,198 Oh, fuck me. 352 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,741 Oh, I've got butterflies of excitement! 353 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,743 Oh, no, I'm going to faint. 354 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,495 Pull yourself together, man! 355 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,581 Do you want to get cast as Thug Number Three or not? 356 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:07,460 Yes! Playing a minor character in a billion-dollar franchise 357 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,086 is every actor's dream! 358 00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:11,714 There we go. Warm up that instrument. 359 00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:18,638 Keep going. Oh, you definitely couldn't have done this alone in the car. 360 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:23,810 "Quit ya yappin' or the tooth fairy is gonna need to do a little, uh... 361 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,104 She's gonna come and collect her... 362 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,688 Uh, tooth, uh, fee." 363 00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,440 I'm sorry, can I try it a different way? 364 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,943 That was great! No notes! Thanks so much! 365 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,945 Please, I have incredible range! 366 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,446 I'm perfect for this role, 367 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,698 but if not, I can be anyone else. 368 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:39,450 A shocked bystander? 369 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,077 A lost tourist? 370 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,954 An uncredited limo driver? 371 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:47,542 I need this job. I'll lose my SAG insurance and the screeners! 372 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:51,170 I use the elaborate boxes they send them to store my leftovers. 373 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,339 How will I keep my egg salad fresh? 374 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,258 That sounds like a you problem. 375 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:56,551 Thanks for coming out. 376 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:59,220 You already said that... 377 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,347 Ugh, God. This chair is killing me. 378 00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,267 Can you get me one that doesn't make my ass fall asleep? 379 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:07,103 One with lumbar support perhaps? 380 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:10,274 Please, James Gunn, sit on me! 381 00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:17,488 Oh. Ooh! 382 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,659 Well, Mister Face, what would you say to a job 383 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,453 on set as the director's chair? 384 00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:28,499 God, you look like a pile of shit but you feel like a pile of clouds! 385 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,463 Bombs away! 386 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,466 Too slow, eh? 387 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,510 Ivy! 388 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,976 We really shouldn't have given away all our weapons. 389 00:19:42,978 --> 00:19:44,682 We could use those nuclear codes about now! 390 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:45,726 Here! 391 00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:48,853 Aww, but I gave that to you for our three-day anniversary! 392 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:52,148 Well, eat scepter, Plastique! 393 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:55,776 Ouch! God damn it. Now we get serious! 394 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,067 Oh, I think I've heard of Plastique. 395 00:19:59,069 --> 00:20:00,916 She's like a failed Canadian political terrorist, right? 396 00:20:00,918 --> 00:20:02,491 I didn't know Canada made terrorists. 397 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:07,038 Chirp away, hosers! I almost blew up a super-soldier lab! 398 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:10,875 Oh, is that before or after you stole Carmen Sandiego's coat. 399 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:14,045 God, you know I meant that as an insult, but I do love her. 400 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,796 Eat ash! 401 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:18,258 My ranunculus! 402 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:26,390 I hope you're ready to be in a new montage. In Memoriam! 403 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:29,727 I was born for it! 404 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:35,149 Oh, hang on, it's gotta, yeah, it does this little blinkie thing before it explo... 405 00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,245 It's gone. 406 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:49,622 It's all gone. 407 00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,499 I'm so sorry. 408 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:55,002 Wait! Look, look! It's not all dead. 409 00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,004 Ew! 410 00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,926 If I hadn't kidnapped Amanda Waller none of this would've happened. 411 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,803 I'm addicted to drama! 412 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,097 It's fine, it's fine, Harley. 413 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,765 Edin was doomed to fail. 414 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:11,727 No! I saw how happy you were, tinkering with your shiny trees 415 00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:13,813 and the wet hunks of grass. 416 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,648 And all the green stuff. 417 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:18,776 Oh. Wow, please never describe nature again. 418 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,445 Look, there's nothing I want more than 419 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,905 to terraform the world. 420 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,950 To take it back from humans, but... 421 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,828 It just can't be done. At least not by me. 422 00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:32,915 That is bullshit. You can do it because now... You have me. 423 00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:35,167 Harley, I saw how bored you were. 424 00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:38,295 It's okay if we don't do everything together. 425 00:21:38,296 --> 00:21:40,756 Disagree! These last 19-and-a-half days 426 00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:43,134 have been the most emotionally dope of my life. 427 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,386 I know the Eat Bang Kill Tour can't go on forever. 428 00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:46,721 So let's get serious. 429 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:49,724 I am all in! I want what you want. 430 00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:52,393 Please let me help you see your beautiful evil plot through. 431 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:56,605 Please, let's plant some shit, please? 432 00:21:56,606 --> 00:21:58,399 You really think I can do this, peanut? 433 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:03,195 Yes! Totally! Partners in crime in every sense of the word. 434 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,948 BFFs GFFs, right? 435 00:22:07,325 --> 00:22:10,161 Harley and Ivy take over the fucking world! 436 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,746 I'll put on the tea kettle. 437 00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:16,333 Happy 19th-day anniversary. 438 00:22:18,482 --> 00:22:21,554 sync and corrections by solfieri www.addic7ed.com