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Previously on Scorpion...

2
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? ...Meu amigo amigvel. ?

3
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I found a mathematical formula
for their dance tracks,

4
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and a few weeks later,
I had royalties coming in.

5
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If I uncuff him
without a direct order,

6
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I violate a half a dozen
federal statutes.

7
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Collins!

8
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Agent Gallo, you're under arrest
for instigating an escape.

9
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I want a lawyer.

10
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I want to be your attorney.

11
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You want to what?
I can do this.

12
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I want a family.
I've always wanted a family.

13
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And I want one with you,
'cause I love you.

14
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Shall we start now?

15
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You may proceed, Counselor.

16
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Counselor?

17
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You're up.

18
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Oh. She means me.

19
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Right, I am a "counselor" now.
Okay.

20
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Your Honor...

21
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or would you prefer "Judge"?

22
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'Cause "Your Honor"--

23
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it-it just sounds so formal.

24
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But we-we are...
in a, uh, formal setting.

25
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Either will do.

26
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Okay, then.
"Your Honor" it is.

27
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I move for
an immediate dismissal

28
00:01:21,437 --> 00:01:23,270
of all the charges
against my client,

29
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Cabe Gallo, who is
accused of abetting

30
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the escape of federal inmate
Mark Collins, on the grounds

31
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that if my client had
acted in any other manner,

32
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it would have been
in direct violation

33
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of Mr. Collins'
constitutional rights.

34
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Thank you.

35
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This is the part
of the proceedings

36
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where you elaborate,
Counselor.

37
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Right.

38
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Of course.

39
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The Eighth Amendment forbids
cruel and unusual punishment.

40
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Yes, they taught us that
in law school.

41
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How does it pertain
to this case?

42
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Well, Honor...

43
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I mean, Your Judge... ship...

44
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This brief... Oh.

45
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This brief.

46
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Uh, it describes the
incident in question.

47
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If Agent Gallo had r-run off
without...

48
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Uh...
Uncuffing.

49
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Right. Uncuffing the stun cuff

50
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from Mark Collins' fo, um...

51
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His ankle.

52
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Yes.

53
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His ankle, then the prisoner
would have essentially

54
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been tortured by electrocution,

55
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which is in clear violation
of his Eighth Amendment rights.

56
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Okay.

57
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I follow your logic.

58
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And it is a good argument,

59
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especially for someone
who is clearly new at this.

60
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But whether your client was
protecting Mr. Collins' rights

61
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or helping him escape is
a matter for a jury to decide,

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not me.

63
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This case will proceed to trial.

64
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The second I got in
front of that judge,

65
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my brain turned
to Jell-O.

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I have an eidetic memory.

67
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I can remember
the ingredients

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from a cereal box
from when I was eight,

69
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but in there, I forgot
the word "ankle."

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You can handle pressure.

71
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I've seen you save
the world with math

72
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that would make Einstein
cry uncle.

73
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Math? Math isn't a
persuasive argument.

74
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You'll do
better next time.

75
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What's important is
today's your birthday.

76
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The big two-five.
Let's celebrate.

77
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I'll call the gang,
let 'em know what happened

78
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so when we get there,
we can focus

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on what's really important:
Sly's Big Day.

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Okay. Thanks, Cabe.

81
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What's up, boss?

82
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You wanted to see me?
Yes.

83
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I need your expert opinion.

84
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My expert opinion is that,

85
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whatever you're doing
with the guitar,

86
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you should not record
on that fossil.

87
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Well, analog provides

88
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better signal-to-noise ratio.

89
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I am making a song
for Paige.

90
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Okay, what did you do wrong
that now you have to do this?

91
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I, uh...
I failed miserably

92
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at a live-music date
a few weeks ago,

93
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so I am making it up to her

94
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by writing a love ballad.

95
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And I figured since you had
a hit song in Portugal,

96
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that I would like for you
to evaluate my progress.

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Yeah, that song
was garbage.

98
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I just used math.
Oh, yeah. Me, too.

99
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I created an algorithm
to analyze

100
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every major love song over
the past 75 years,

101
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and then I put together
an optimal combination

102
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of the most popular words.

103
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- Oh, boy.
- Yep.

104
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So, from the '50s
to the '70s,

105
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the most commonly used word
was "love".

106
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And then, oddly,
the emphasis shifted

107
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to "baby" in the '80s.

108
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And then songwriters
became infatuated

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with the word "booty,"

110
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which is slang for buttocks.

111
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Just play the song.

112
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Okay.

113
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? Your love is love is love,
baby ?

114
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? You know your love
is love is love ?

115
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? 'Cause I love you ?

116
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? And you love me ?

117
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? You've got a lovely ?

118
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? Booty ?

119
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? You let... ?
What's wrong?

120
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Uh, all of it.
But most importantly,

121
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your song has no soul.

122
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I did exactly what you did,
and you got a hit.

123
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I rolled for the lowest
common denominator.

124
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You're trying to appeal
to a specific person,

125
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who might not be a genius,
but whose EQ is off the charts.

126
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You're not gonna fool her
with the cookie-cutter crap.

127
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You want to make
the waitress swoon?

128
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Okay, can the math,
look into your heart.

129
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Also, don't mention
her booty.

130
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Motion to dismiss
got dismissed?

131
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My client has encouraged me
to focus on my birthday,

132
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so I will not
discuss the case.

133
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You want to talk about it?

134
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You ever hear
of the yips?

135
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What, like when
a second baseman

136
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suddenly can't toss
the ball to first?

137
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Yeah. I think Sly's got 'em.
Wow.

138
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Sylvester's first
sports disorder.

139
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Figured it would be jock itch.

140
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I think he's in his head
about talking in court.

141
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I mean, I want to
believe in the kid, but...

142
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if he craps out, I'm dead.

143
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He's not taking it too well.

144
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At least his birthday
ought to cheer him up.

145
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Speaking of birthdays,

146
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how go the efforts
of putting a bun

147
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in Happy's oven?

148
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I'm not discussing
Happy's oven with you.

149
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You know, the other day
I was in the doctor's office,

150
00:06:27,243 --> 00:06:29,510
and I picked up one of
those women's magazines.

151
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There was an article that said
a lady has a better chance

152
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of conceiving if,
by the end, you know,

153
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she's... she's gotten
sprinkles on her cupcake.

154
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Are you making sure

155
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that Happy's getting sprinkles
on her cupcake, son?

156
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What?

157
00:06:49,498 --> 00:06:51,031
You know about sprinkles?

158
00:06:51,033 --> 00:06:52,533
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know about sprinkles.

159
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Happy's got more sprinkles
than the ice cream man.

160
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All right. 'Cause if
you need any tips

161
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in the gooty department...

162
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I don't need any tips.

163
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And please don't ruin
gooty for me.

164
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I'm just trying to help.

165
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Hey, guys, what's up?

166
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Nothing.
Nothing that concerns you.

167
00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:09,750
Um, okay.
Well, is everybody ready?

168
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We've got a long drive
to the festival grounds

169
00:07:11,253 --> 00:07:13,620
for Sylvester's big
birthday outing.

170
00:07:13,622 --> 00:07:15,622
You're telling me.

171
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When I worked for the FBI,
I used to have to schlep stuff

172
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out to the evidence warehouse,
not far from where we're going.

173
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It is in the middle
of nowhere.

174
00:07:21,263 --> 00:07:23,197
Mm, centrally located.

175
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That's the only way they could
get the nerds out to Nerdfest

176
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to pull a profit.

177
00:07:26,368 --> 00:07:29,102
Oh, costumes.
Toby. Uh...

178
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Happy.

179
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Not good.

180
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What's not good?

181
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We, sir,
are headed to celebrate

182
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my day of birth
at the Los Angeles

183
00:07:41,884 --> 00:07:44,184
Renaissance Festival.

184
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It's today, damn it.

185
00:07:46,021 --> 00:07:48,288
Oh, yes.

186
00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:50,490
And we will get in
ahead of the masses

187
00:07:50,492 --> 00:07:54,795
with these--
our VIP passes.

188
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So don your garb,

189
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for today, we're gonna party
like it's 1599.

190
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How long we been walking?

191
00:08:26,629 --> 00:08:29,129
Feels like forever.
This is ridiculous.

192
00:08:29,131 --> 00:08:30,998
Why'd they put the parking lot
so far away?

193
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,966
"No cars allowed
on the site."

194
00:08:32,968 --> 00:08:36,436
This festival aims
for total authenticity.

195
00:08:36,438 --> 00:08:37,871
Really? They had
electrical transformers

196
00:08:37,873 --> 00:08:39,273
- in the 1600s?
- Oh, man,

197
00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:40,474
that isn't supposed
to be thee.

198
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:43,043
The county runs utility
lines through this area.

199
00:08:43,045 --> 00:08:44,378
Land's not good for much,
that's why they put

200
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:46,280
government warehouses
out here.

201
00:08:46,282 --> 00:08:50,584
Let us not talk of such
crass matters as commerce.

202
00:08:50,586 --> 00:08:53,654
It is time
to celebrate.

203
00:08:53,656 --> 00:08:57,157
Let the revels commence!

204
00:09:08,570 --> 00:09:10,904
Come on, birthday boy.

205
00:09:13,809 --> 00:09:16,009
The men here are
all pretending to be

206
00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:18,111
knights and warriors,
while the women are pretending

207
00:09:18,113 --> 00:09:19,313
to wash their clothes.

208
00:09:19,315 --> 00:09:20,847
Even the fake past sucks.

209
00:09:20,849 --> 00:09:21,848
Oh, it couldn't have
been all bad.

210
00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:22,916
What about the age
of chivalry?

211
00:09:22,918 --> 00:09:25,886
Make way, wench.

212
00:09:25,888 --> 00:09:27,321
Seriously?
Would you...

213
00:09:27,323 --> 00:09:29,256
All right, look... Hey,
hey, there's a blacksmith.

214
00:09:29,258 --> 00:09:32,092
You like that kind
of thing. Come on.

215
00:09:32,094 --> 00:09:34,294
Look at that.
The simplicity

216
00:09:34,296 --> 00:09:35,696
of this time period
is so amazing.

217
00:09:35,698 --> 00:09:36,830
Yeah, well, you know,
if they really wanted

218
00:09:36,832 --> 00:09:38,031
to make this place authentic,

219
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:39,700
they would throw raw sewage
out in the street,

220
00:09:39,702 --> 00:09:41,268
and give a few of
these people the plague.

221
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:44,071
They have authentic food.
They have big turkey legs

222
00:09:44,073 --> 00:09:46,039
and roasted ears of corn.

223
00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:48,241
Cheesy fries.
Well...

224
00:09:48,243 --> 00:09:49,476
they could have had
cheesy French fries.

225
00:09:49,478 --> 00:09:50,544
They had cheese,
they had potatoes,

226
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:51,445
they had France.

227
00:09:51,447 --> 00:09:53,280
Actually,
the potato was brought

228
00:09:53,282 --> 00:09:55,749
from Peru to Spain
by conquistadors.

229
00:09:55,751 --> 00:09:58,218
This place is about fun.
It's not a history lesson.

230
00:09:58,220 --> 00:09:59,920
Actually, this place
needs a history lesson,

231
00:09:59,922 --> 00:10:02,222
starting with us-- it is silly
for you to be dressed

232
00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:03,590
as Maid Marian
and me as Robin Hood

233
00:10:03,592 --> 00:10:05,092
because not not only
were Robin and Marian

234
00:10:05,094 --> 00:10:07,361
not figures of the Renaissance

235
00:10:07,363 --> 00:10:09,296
but rather of the late
medieval period,

236
00:10:09,298 --> 00:10:12,299
also, they were probably
not even real people at all.

237
00:10:13,235 --> 00:10:15,402
Make way for the king.

238
00:10:15,404 --> 00:10:18,138
- My Lord.
- Your Highness.

239
00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:21,942
Clearly milady has chosen

240
00:10:21,944 --> 00:10:23,744
to grace our fine
English Festival dressed

241
00:10:23,746 --> 00:10:24,911
as a hero of yesteryear.

242
00:10:24,913 --> 00:10:28,181
I, King Phillip,
hereby declare

243
00:10:28,183 --> 00:10:29,883
her costume lacks
but one thing--

244
00:10:29,885 --> 00:10:31,485
a rose.

245
00:10:31,487 --> 00:10:32,986
Which, alas, pales

246
00:10:32,988 --> 00:10:34,788
beside such beauty
as your own.

247
00:10:34,790 --> 00:10:37,290
Why, thank you, my liege.

248
00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:39,693
Please,
call me king.

249
00:10:39,695 --> 00:10:41,928
Actually, King Phillip
was Spanish,

250
00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:44,664
and an enemy of England
during the Renaissance.

251
00:10:44,666 --> 00:10:46,733
Therefore, would most
certainly not be presiding

252
00:10:46,735 --> 00:10:48,168
over an English festival.

253
00:10:48,170 --> 00:10:49,870
Enough. What is your problem?

254
00:10:49,872 --> 00:10:51,605
The past is,
by definition, past.

255
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,673
Pretending to be
in it is silly.

256
00:10:53,675 --> 00:10:56,009
Whatever. I'm going
to enjoy the festival

257
00:10:56,011 --> 00:10:58,011
on my own.

258
00:10:58,013 --> 00:11:00,347
Good morrow, my king.

259
00:11:00,349 --> 00:11:03,216
Mmm. Milady.

260
00:11:04,286 --> 00:11:07,254
A fool thinks himself
to be a wise man,

261
00:11:07,256 --> 00:11:10,390
but a wise man knows himself
to be a fool.

262
00:11:12,728 --> 00:11:14,227
King coming through!

263
00:11:14,229 --> 00:11:16,863
That is a caltrop.

264
00:11:16,865 --> 00:11:19,032
Medieval anti-cavalry device.

265
00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:22,569
It's like road strips cops use
to stop cars, but for horses.

266
00:11:22,571 --> 00:11:26,406
It's horrible, but this guy's
technique is excellent.

267
00:11:27,776 --> 00:11:28,809
Hey, she's taken.

268
00:11:28,811 --> 00:11:30,677
He isn't flirting.

269
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:31,912
I'm dressed like an idiot.

270
00:11:31,914 --> 00:11:33,914
Yeah, but you look amazing.

271
00:11:33,916 --> 00:11:36,049
Really?
This outfit, too?

272
00:11:36,051 --> 00:11:37,284
I'm an executioner.

273
00:11:37,286 --> 00:11:39,052
What a way to go.

274
00:11:39,054 --> 00:11:40,487
Okay.

275
00:11:40,489 --> 00:11:42,155
Meet me at the hayloft

276
00:11:42,157 --> 00:11:44,124
at Ye Old Livery Stable
in five minutes.

277
00:11:44,126 --> 00:11:45,826
I want to see
this guy finish.

278
00:11:45,828 --> 00:11:48,562
As you wish.

279
00:11:48,564 --> 00:11:51,264
You, me lady, shall
experience pleasures

280
00:11:51,266 --> 00:11:53,667
the likes of
which no man...

281
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,302
Don't ruin it.

282
00:11:55,304 --> 00:11:56,837
Copy that.

283
00:12:00,409 --> 00:12:02,142
Thank you.

284
00:12:02,144 --> 00:12:04,311
Oh, Toby, can I talk
to you for a moment?

285
00:12:04,313 --> 00:12:05,069
Yeah, you couldn't
have picked a worse time.

286
00:12:05,093 --> 00:12:06,013
No.

287
00:12:06,014 --> 00:12:07,447
It's driving me nuts that
Walter can't just relax

288
00:12:07,449 --> 00:12:09,649
and enjoy this place, and if
not for Sly, then for me.

289
00:12:09,651 --> 00:12:11,718
- Yeah, well, Walter's Walter. I got to go.
- No, please, Toby.

290
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,820
It's like, it's
like every week

291
00:12:13,822 --> 00:12:15,622
I'm giving him
boyfriend lessons.

292
00:12:15,624 --> 00:12:18,191
I-I knew it would be
hard, but this hard?

293
00:12:18,193 --> 00:12:20,393
You and Happy

294
00:12:20,395 --> 00:12:23,363
had problems but at your cores
you're alike.

295
00:12:23,365 --> 00:12:24,898
And...
I don't know,

296
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:27,334
we're just-- we're such
different people.

297
00:12:27,336 --> 00:12:29,736
Yeah. Well, um,

298
00:12:29,738 --> 00:12:31,738
you know,
Happy and I are, uh,

299
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,340
we're like, uh,
double chocolate,

300
00:12:33,342 --> 00:12:34,841
which-which is an
amazing flavor,

301
00:12:34,843 --> 00:12:37,244
but, um, so is chocolate
and peanut butter.

302
00:12:37,246 --> 00:12:39,813
You just got to give it
some time. Y-You know,

303
00:12:39,815 --> 00:12:42,048
it took Happy and me a long time
to be on the same page.

304
00:12:42,050 --> 00:12:43,617
Look at us now.

305
00:12:43,619 --> 00:12:45,452
We're gonna
get it on in a hayloft.

306
00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:46,820
Ooh, I'm happy to hear
the effort

307
00:12:46,822 --> 00:12:48,722
to bring us a Scorpion baby
continues apace.

308
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:51,091
Pardon the interruption,
kind sir,

309
00:12:51,093 --> 00:12:53,093
but if a child
is thine heart's desire,

310
00:12:53,095 --> 00:12:55,562
what wouldest thou say

311
00:12:55,564 --> 00:12:57,397
to this magical
pregnancy amulet?

312
00:12:57,399 --> 00:12:58,865
Anne Boleyn was wearing one

313
00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:01,201
when she conceived
Queen Elizabeth.

314
00:13:01,203 --> 00:13:03,336
Oh, yes, what wouldest
thou say?

315
00:13:03,338 --> 00:13:05,639
I'd say that story
and thine amulet

316
00:13:05,641 --> 00:13:08,008
are pure skimble-skamble.

317
00:13:09,077 --> 00:13:10,377
Huh.

318
00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:12,913
Hey, look, Sly.

319
00:13:12,915 --> 00:13:14,981
It's your nerd buddies
from the Warlock's Chest.

320
00:13:14,983 --> 00:13:17,784
Yeah, they play
Renaissance Festivals

321
00:13:17,786 --> 00:13:20,053
as the "Lord of the Sings."

322
00:13:20,055 --> 00:13:22,656
They got Nightingale.

323
00:13:22,658 --> 00:13:24,691
He's a gamer.

324
00:13:24,693 --> 00:13:26,927
He usually frolics in Riverside,
but sometimes he jams with them

325
00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:28,295
because he's got
the voice of a...

326
00:13:28,297 --> 00:13:29,629
A meadowlark?

327
00:13:29,631 --> 00:13:31,231
No, of a nightingale.

328
00:13:32,301 --> 00:13:34,568
A hale and hearty
Happy Birthday to thee,

329
00:13:34,570 --> 00:13:36,102
Sylvester the Conquestor.

330
00:13:36,104 --> 00:13:37,370
Ah, dear Kaldor,

331
00:13:37,372 --> 00:13:39,005
today, I am disguised

332
00:13:39,007 --> 00:13:42,108
as astronomer Galileo Galilei.

333
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:44,544
And hail to thee as well,
Magnus Gallo.

334
00:13:44,546 --> 00:13:45,745
"Magnus"?

335
00:13:45,747 --> 00:13:47,581
Don't ask.

336
00:13:47,583 --> 00:13:49,749
Kaldor. Others.

337
00:13:49,751 --> 00:13:52,719
Sweet Lord Rayne costume,
Magnus.

338
00:13:52,721 --> 00:13:53,987
Are you a Bladie, too?

339
00:13:53,989 --> 00:13:54,854
Come again?

340
00:13:54,856 --> 00:13:56,089
Chair of Blades.

341
00:13:56,091 --> 00:13:57,257
You're dressed
as one of the characters

342
00:13:57,259 --> 00:13:59,726
from Chair of Blades.

343
00:13:59,728 --> 00:14:00,894
It's one of the most popular
TV shows out there.

344
00:14:00,896 --> 00:14:01,861
It's about a group of warriors

345
00:14:01,863 --> 00:14:03,630
who vie for the right

346
00:14:03,632 --> 00:14:06,166
to sit upon a chair of blades.

347
00:14:06,168 --> 00:14:07,400
That sounds uncomfortable.

348
00:14:07,402 --> 00:14:08,535
Sounds stupid.

349
00:14:08,537 --> 00:14:09,669
Okay, guys.

350
00:14:09,671 --> 00:14:11,871
Let us jam.

351
00:14:16,078 --> 00:14:18,678
? Being a maiden ?

352
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,680
? Is pretty rough ?

353
00:14:20,682 --> 00:14:24,618
? Ten hours you work the field ?

354
00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:28,355
? And somehow,
it's still not enough ?

355
00:14:28,357 --> 00:14:30,991
? I want no other ?

356
00:14:30,993 --> 00:14:33,526
? To churn my butter ?

357
00:14:33,528 --> 00:14:35,996
? And I'm just here ?

358
00:14:36,999 --> 00:14:38,598
? So I can say ?

359
00:14:40,035 --> 00:14:41,501
? Please let this knight ?

360
00:14:41,503 --> 00:14:42,902
? Break up your day ?

361
00:14:42,904 --> 00:14:45,739
You got to be kidding me.
? Please let this knight ?

362
00:14:45,741 --> 00:14:48,708
? Break up your day. ?

363
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:50,510
Sword in the Stone.

364
00:14:50,512 --> 00:14:52,712
I want to be king.

365
00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:03,089
Thank you. All right.

366
00:15:05,594 --> 00:15:08,995
Sword of Arthur,
from this stone,

367
00:15:08,997 --> 00:15:11,531
I thee yank!

368
00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:13,433
You're never gonna do it.

369
00:15:13,435 --> 00:15:14,834
Let the kid play.

370
00:15:14,836 --> 00:15:16,536
Yeah. Come on,
let him play.

371
00:15:16,538 --> 00:15:18,138
Come on, Sly.

372
00:15:19,841 --> 00:15:21,408
Royalty passing through.

373
00:15:21,410 --> 00:15:22,742
Oh.
Zounds.

374
00:15:22,744 --> 00:15:23,977
It is King Phillip.

375
00:15:23,979 --> 00:15:25,645
Yes.

376
00:15:26,281 --> 00:15:27,747
Oh, stop it.

377
00:15:27,749 --> 00:15:29,416
Keep going.

378
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:35,822
Arise, peasant.

379
00:15:35,824 --> 00:15:38,024
And behold.

380
00:15:46,735 --> 00:15:49,636
'Tis nothing
for the one true king!

381
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,473
Huzzah!

382
00:15:53,475 --> 00:15:55,675
What says thou?
Huzzah!

383
00:15:55,677 --> 00:15:57,944
Huzzah!
Huzzah!

384
00:15:59,548 --> 00:16:00,680
Hmm.

385
00:16:00,682 --> 00:16:04,551
Wouldest thou care
for a try, Robin of the Hood?

386
00:16:04,553 --> 00:16:05,985
- Oh, I'm happy to.
- Mm.

387
00:16:05,987 --> 00:16:07,120
Just give me the remote.

388
00:16:07,122 --> 00:16:09,322
What meanest thou?

389
00:16:09,324 --> 00:16:11,357
I meanest the device
in your left hand

390
00:16:11,359 --> 00:16:13,827
that kills the electromagnet
holding the sword.

391
00:16:13,829 --> 00:16:15,729
That's the
biggest sham over here.

392
00:16:15,731 --> 00:16:17,731
So your stores
have credit cards,

393
00:16:17,733 --> 00:16:19,165
the band has microphones,

394
00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:20,867
and you have an electromagnet.

395
00:16:20,869 --> 00:16:23,103
There was no electricity
in the Renaissance.

396
00:16:27,042 --> 00:16:28,942
What happened?

397
00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:30,877
Oh, the transformer
that didn't exist

398
00:16:30,879 --> 00:16:32,846
during the Renaissance
just blew up.

399
00:16:32,848 --> 00:16:34,614
Well, I guess
we should just go home.

400
00:16:34,616 --> 00:16:35,882
It's Sly's birthday.

401
00:16:35,884 --> 00:16:37,217
Fix it.

402
00:16:40,856 --> 00:16:42,122
What happened? Overheating?

403
00:16:42,124 --> 00:16:44,224
No. I didn't
get a chance to.

404
00:16:44,226 --> 00:16:46,326
The electricity went out,
and we had to stop, and...

405
00:16:46,328 --> 00:16:47,827
Oh. Oh, the transformer.

406
00:16:47,829 --> 00:16:49,796
That wasn't an overload.
It was sabotage.

407
00:16:49,798 --> 00:16:51,664
Piece of metal was jammed
into the works.

408
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:54,267
Blew the substation.
Power must be out for miles.

409
00:16:54,269 --> 00:16:56,436
Who'd sabotage a
Renaissance Festival?

410
00:16:56,438 --> 00:16:59,405
Probably someone with a sense
of historical accuracy.

411
00:16:59,407 --> 00:17:00,273
Shut up, listen.

412
00:17:01,276 --> 00:17:03,443
Sly, give me your telescope.

413
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,453
What are you looking at?

414
00:17:13,455 --> 00:17:14,654
Biker down there,

415
00:17:14,656 --> 00:17:16,990
wearing the same
stupid clothes as us.

416
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,391
You think he disguised himself
so he could come here

417
00:17:18,393 --> 00:17:19,759
and blow the transformer?

418
00:17:19,761 --> 00:17:22,729
And kill power to the security
at the LAPD evidence warehouse.

419
00:17:27,435 --> 00:17:29,302
Oh, man.

420
00:17:29,304 --> 00:17:31,171
They're gonna rob the place.

421
00:17:31,173 --> 00:17:35,173
? Scorpion 4x08 ?
Faire Is Foul

422
00:17:35,174 --> 00:17:37,174
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

423
00:17:48,556 --> 00:17:51,891
Yep. They are definitely
robbing the evidence warehouse.

424
00:17:51,893 --> 00:17:53,092
Bandits?

425
00:17:53,094 --> 00:17:54,460
Are you certain?

426
00:17:54,462 --> 00:17:55,828
I'm calling 911.

427
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:59,132
Yeah, one of the bikers
is dressed in Festival garb.

428
00:17:59,134 --> 00:18:02,301
I'm guessing Medieval Knievel
disguised himself

429
00:18:02,303 --> 00:18:04,637
so he could stroll right in here
without being noticed.

430
00:18:04,639 --> 00:18:07,306
And destroy the substation
transformer,

431
00:18:07,308 --> 00:18:09,475
knocking out the alarms, doors
and electric fence

432
00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:10,777
at the evidence warehouse.

433
00:18:10,779 --> 00:18:11,677
My cell's dead.

434
00:18:11,679 --> 00:18:12,945
Mine, too.

435
00:18:12,947 --> 00:18:14,013
Oh, when that transformer blew,

436
00:18:14,015 --> 00:18:15,381
it must have sent
an electromagnetic pulse

437
00:18:15,383 --> 00:18:16,582
through the festival grounds.

438
00:18:16,584 --> 00:18:18,184
Computer chips are toast.

439
00:18:18,186 --> 00:18:20,186
Surge must've fried the nearest
cell phone tower, too.

440
00:18:20,188 --> 00:18:22,221
Well, it might as well
really be in the 16th century.

441
00:18:22,223 --> 00:18:24,424
Is there a landline
at the office?

442
00:18:24,426 --> 00:18:26,859
What meanest thou
by "landline"?

443
00:18:26,861 --> 00:18:28,061
Oh, dude, seriously?

444
00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:30,630
Verily. There is a "landline."

445
00:18:30,632 --> 00:18:33,833
But, alas, the phone
is without cord.

446
00:18:33,835 --> 00:18:35,802
A cordless phone. That
means we can't dial out

447
00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:37,470
until we restore power.

448
00:18:37,472 --> 00:18:39,072
Can we restore power?

449
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,441
Well, with the crap around here
to work with? Unknown.

450
00:18:41,443 --> 00:18:43,476
When they destroyed the
substation, it must have cut off

451
00:18:43,478 --> 00:18:45,044
electricity to homes,

452
00:18:45,046 --> 00:18:47,580
hospitals, uh, businesses,
traffic lights.

453
00:18:47,582 --> 00:18:48,614
It's rush hour soon.

454
00:18:48,616 --> 00:18:49,916
It's gonna be Carmageddon
out there.

455
00:18:49,918 --> 00:18:51,584
So you're saying
things are gonna get worse?

456
00:18:54,989 --> 00:18:57,256
Things already got worse.

457
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:01,227
They shot the guard.

458
00:19:01,229 --> 00:19:02,462
He's not moving.

459
00:19:06,601 --> 00:19:08,734
Oh, that doesn't look good.

460
00:19:08,736 --> 00:19:10,670
Oh, hang on. That man's alive.

461
00:19:10,672 --> 00:19:12,572
All right. Walter and
Toby, you're with me.

462
00:19:12,574 --> 00:19:14,740
Paige, see if this place
has ye olde first aid kit.

463
00:19:14,742 --> 00:19:15,473
We're gonna need it
when we get back.

464
00:19:15,497 --> 00:19:16,376
On it.

465
00:19:16,377 --> 00:19:18,077
Okay. Sly, Happy,
go fix the electricity,

466
00:19:18,079 --> 00:19:19,245
see if we can call for help.

467
00:19:19,247 --> 00:19:20,413
Copy that.

468
00:19:20,415 --> 00:19:21,948
How are you gonna get
all the way down there?

469
00:19:21,950 --> 00:19:23,082
We can't drive,

470
00:19:23,084 --> 00:19:24,784
'cause we parked a mile away.

471
00:19:24,786 --> 00:19:25,918
King.

472
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,220
Go back to the festival,

473
00:19:27,222 --> 00:19:28,855
tell everybody
to get the hell out of here.

474
00:19:28,857 --> 00:19:31,791
You're gonna have
to do it on foot,

475
00:19:31,793 --> 00:19:34,594
because I'm gonna
commandeer your horse.

476
00:19:41,302 --> 00:19:43,236
Don't worry, buddy.
We're gonna help you.

477
00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:56,249
Bikers are ripping that place
apart looking for something.

478
00:19:56,251 --> 00:19:58,351
The evidence manifest
is computerized,

479
00:19:58,353 --> 00:19:59,852
so they can't
check it.

480
00:19:59,854 --> 00:20:01,888
It's gonna take them a while
to find what they want.

481
00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:04,423
Hey, are there
any other cops in there?

482
00:20:04,425 --> 00:20:06,359
No.

483
00:20:08,963 --> 00:20:10,296
Okay. You two,
get him to the cart.

484
00:20:10,298 --> 00:20:11,631
I'll make sure
they can't follow us.

485
00:20:11,633 --> 00:20:13,866
Okay. Go, go, go, go. Go.

486
00:20:20,508 --> 00:20:22,542
Okay.

487
00:20:24,112 --> 00:20:26,045
Defibrillator.
First aid kit.

488
00:20:26,047 --> 00:20:27,113
What's the verdict?

489
00:20:27,115 --> 00:20:28,080
It's a melted mess in there,

490
00:20:28,082 --> 00:20:29,215
but if we can make a new coil,

491
00:20:29,217 --> 00:20:30,850
I think I can get this thing
running again.

492
00:20:30,852 --> 00:20:31,684
How do we do that?

493
00:20:31,686 --> 00:20:33,219
We have to create a ferromagnet.

494
00:20:33,221 --> 00:20:34,153
In English.

495
00:20:34,155 --> 00:20:35,821
We need iron bars
and copper wire.

496
00:20:35,823 --> 00:20:37,723
Oh, the jewelry booth
uses copper wire.

497
00:20:37,725 --> 00:20:39,325
And the blacksmith
has plenty of iron.

498
00:20:39,327 --> 00:20:41,694
Sly, give me a hand. Let's go.

499
00:20:41,696 --> 00:20:45,865
Okay, uh, you put on some gloves
and I'll get you some tongs.

500
00:20:47,635 --> 00:20:50,403
Okay, Thor, hammer away.

501
00:20:55,176 --> 00:20:57,043
Why didn't he slash the tires?

502
00:20:57,045 --> 00:21:00,213
They're Kevlar. You can't pop
them with a set of keys.

503
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:01,881
Can't be married to Happy Quinn
without learning

504
00:21:01,883 --> 00:21:03,816
a thing or two
about motorcycles.

505
00:21:11,859 --> 00:21:13,259
Let's go.

506
00:21:13,261 --> 00:21:14,594
Hyah!

507
00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:22,301
Uh, this'll do. Let's go.

508
00:21:23,972 --> 00:21:26,606
Hey. I got the wire.
Okay, we've got

509
00:21:26,608 --> 00:21:28,941
to step the current down
from 110K to 9K volts.

510
00:21:28,943 --> 00:21:30,643
That means wrapping
the short ends

511
00:21:30,645 --> 00:21:31,944
of this iron rectangle
with copper.

512
00:21:31,946 --> 00:21:34,413
Has to have the right ratio
of turns. Sly, compute.

513
00:21:34,415 --> 00:21:35,681
Right. Faraday's law.

514
00:21:35,683 --> 00:21:37,250
Okay, primary coil needs
eleven hundred...

515
00:21:37,252 --> 00:21:39,018
Okay, just do it.
I've got other work.

516
00:21:46,561 --> 00:21:47,893
Whoa.

517
00:21:47,895 --> 00:21:49,528
All right,
this guy's in bad shape!

518
00:21:49,530 --> 00:21:50,696
We got to hurry!

519
00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:54,333
Uh, heartbeat's irregular.
I got to get that bullet out.

520
00:21:54,335 --> 00:21:56,369
Uh, I need tweezers,
forceps, something.

521
00:21:56,371 --> 00:21:57,737
Will jewelry pliers work?

522
00:21:57,739 --> 00:21:59,772
That's perfect.
Uh, now I need to sterilize.

523
00:21:59,774 --> 00:22:00,437
Is there alcohol?

524
00:22:00,461 --> 00:22:02,409
There's none
in the first aid kid.

525
00:22:02,410 --> 00:22:04,210
How 'bout the finest rum?

526
00:22:04,212 --> 00:22:05,077
That'll do!

527
00:22:05,079 --> 00:22:06,245
Okay,
everyone, your help

528
00:22:06,247 --> 00:22:07,346
is appreciated,

529
00:22:07,348 --> 00:22:09,015
but we're dealing
with dangerous men.

530
00:22:09,017 --> 00:22:10,750
And Phil here
should've already

531
00:22:10,752 --> 00:22:12,118
told you to go home.

532
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:13,519
We can't.

533
00:22:13,521 --> 00:22:15,855
With the traffic lights out
and half of L.A. blacked out,

534
00:22:15,857 --> 00:22:18,791
the-the service roads to the
freeway are backed up forever!

535
00:22:18,793 --> 00:22:20,559
Sorry, pal,

536
00:22:20,561 --> 00:22:23,129
I know this doesn't tickle.

537
00:22:26,467 --> 00:22:28,071
Walt, pour some
of that grog on the wound.

538
00:22:28,095 --> 00:22:29,002
Yeah.

539
00:22:29,003 --> 00:22:30,670
This is gonna sting-eth.

540
00:22:30,672 --> 00:22:33,439
This is great.
I'm gonna throw up.

541
00:22:39,414 --> 00:22:41,047
You look funny.

542
00:22:41,049 --> 00:22:43,949
Verily. How you feeling?!

543
00:22:43,951 --> 00:22:45,418
Like I got shot.

544
00:22:46,688 --> 00:22:48,454
And woke up
in a Medieval Times restaurant.

545
00:22:48,456 --> 00:22:51,023
Well, you ain't too far
from wrong.

546
00:22:51,025 --> 00:22:52,892
Any idea what those
guys were after?

547
00:22:52,894 --> 00:22:55,094
This.

548
00:22:55,096 --> 00:22:58,264
Leader of the biker gang
killed a cop up in Sacramento.

549
00:22:58,266 --> 00:22:59,932
This had the cop's blood on it.

550
00:22:59,934 --> 00:23:00,866
And his.

551
00:23:00,868 --> 00:23:02,201
Heard about that shooting.

552
00:23:02,203 --> 00:23:03,869
Lawyer got a
change of venue,

553
00:23:03,871 --> 00:23:05,438
so the trial's
gonna happen here.

554
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,139
Someone must've tipped
the gang

555
00:23:07,141 --> 00:23:08,774
to where the evidence was.

556
00:23:08,776 --> 00:23:10,843
Knew what they were after,
so I grabbed it.

557
00:23:10,845 --> 00:23:13,346
If they destroy that evidence,
a cop killer walks.

558
00:23:13,348 --> 00:23:15,748
Listen, promise,
no matter what happens to me,

559
00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:17,249
you won't let them have this.

560
00:23:17,251 --> 00:23:18,651
Hey, we promise.

561
00:23:20,922 --> 00:23:22,955
Okay, hey,

562
00:23:22,957 --> 00:23:24,023
tell me what you're feeling!

563
00:23:24,025 --> 00:23:27,126
Pressure inside my chest.

564
00:23:27,128 --> 00:23:28,694
Oh, Toby, he's turning gray.

565
00:23:28,696 --> 00:23:30,396
Bullet must've nicked
the pericardial sac

566
00:23:30,398 --> 00:23:31,897
around his heart. The bullet
was probably blocking the hole.

567
00:23:31,899 --> 00:23:33,933
And when I took it out,
it started filling with blood

568
00:23:33,935 --> 00:23:35,668
and putting pressure
on his heart.

569
00:23:35,670 --> 00:23:39,071
So, uh, I need
a red-hot poker

570
00:23:39,073 --> 00:23:40,706
to cauterize
the wound,

571
00:23:40,708 --> 00:23:41,841
stop the bleeding
or he's gonna die.

572
00:23:41,843 --> 00:23:43,242
Blacksmith's. On it.

573
00:23:43,244 --> 00:23:44,577
When those bikers

574
00:23:44,579 --> 00:23:46,078
realize the evidence
they're looking for

575
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,514
isn't in that warehouse
and who took it...

576
00:23:50,284 --> 00:23:52,952
I'm gonna go stand guard.

577
00:23:52,954 --> 00:23:55,221
King, you're with me.

578
00:23:55,223 --> 00:23:57,957
Let's go, Phil-boy,
move your knickers.

579
00:23:57,959 --> 00:23:59,792
Hey, man. My name's Chad.

580
00:23:59,794 --> 00:24:02,294
I sell Jacuzzis in the Valley.

581
00:24:02,296 --> 00:24:04,196
I don't fight bikers.

582
00:24:05,666 --> 00:24:07,600
I'm out of here.

583
00:24:07,602 --> 00:24:09,602
Son of a blunderbuss.

584
00:24:09,604 --> 00:24:12,338
He's abandoned us.
It's fine. I'll do it myself.

585
00:24:12,340 --> 00:24:13,706
Poker.
Okay.

586
00:24:13,708 --> 00:24:16,308
Here comes Renaissance
trauma care at its finest.

587
00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:18,177
Walt, Paige,
I hate to ask.

588
00:24:20,648 --> 00:24:21,680
Hey, man,

589
00:24:21,682 --> 00:24:22,882
I'll see you when you wake up,

590
00:24:22,884 --> 00:24:24,150
okay?

591
00:24:24,152 --> 00:24:26,952
I'm really sorry about this.

592
00:24:34,195 --> 00:24:37,263
All right.
He's passed out cold, but...

593
00:24:37,265 --> 00:24:40,566
the bleeding stopped!
He should be fine.

594
00:24:40,568 --> 00:24:42,101
Unless he isn't.

595
00:24:42,103 --> 00:24:43,803
He's going into cardiac arrest.

596
00:24:43,805 --> 00:24:45,070
You were supposed to fix
his heart!

597
00:24:45,072 --> 00:24:46,539
All right, if we want
to keep him alive,

598
00:24:46,541 --> 00:24:48,507
we got to find a way
to shock his pumper!

599
00:24:48,509 --> 00:24:51,243
Uh, there's a defibrillator back
by the, um, transformer.

600
00:24:51,245 --> 00:24:53,813
No, the battery'll be fried from the
transformer's electromagnetic shock.

601
00:24:53,815 --> 00:24:55,981
Well, if the capacitor blew,
the computer components

602
00:24:55,983 --> 00:24:58,150
were preserved.
I can build a new capacitor.

603
00:24:58,152 --> 00:24:59,618
Still won't work
without batteries.

604
00:24:59,620 --> 00:25:01,487
Great. We're stuck
in the 17th century,

605
00:25:01,489 --> 00:25:04,723
and the only thing we need
to save this man is electricity!

606
00:25:04,725 --> 00:25:05,825
Exactly.

607
00:25:08,262 --> 00:25:11,197
This is why I hate
the Renaissance Festival.

608
00:25:20,366 --> 00:25:22,661
Okay, I triaged this thing's
melted guts best I can.

609
00:25:22,662 --> 00:25:23,625
Where's my ferromagnet?

610
00:25:23,649 --> 00:25:24,769
Here it is. Done.

611
00:25:24,770 --> 00:25:26,704
Happy, we need power.

612
00:25:26,706 --> 00:25:27,938
Working on it.

613
00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:30,507
Okay. Okay.

614
00:25:30,509 --> 00:25:32,576
Aluminum foil and a glass bottle
with a cork.

615
00:25:32,578 --> 00:25:34,078
And salt from
the Thanks for Mutton stand.

616
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,080
Okay, bottle, salt, water,
cork, aluminum foil.

617
00:25:36,082 --> 00:25:38,182
- Time to make a capacitor.
- Hurry up.

618
00:25:38,184 --> 00:25:40,651
He's not doing well.
My arms feel like jelly.

619
00:25:48,294 --> 00:25:49,259
All right, done.

620
00:25:49,261 --> 00:25:51,962
Either it works
or it explodes.

621
00:25:59,071 --> 00:26:00,471
The electricity
is back on.

622
00:26:00,473 --> 00:26:03,307
Yeah, that means I'm not making
this capacitor for nothing.

623
00:26:03,309 --> 00:26:06,009
Paige, can you, uh,
do me a favor and yank out

624
00:26:06,011 --> 00:26:07,778
the old capacitor
from the defibrillator?

625
00:26:07,780 --> 00:26:08,779
This thing here?
Yes.

626
00:26:08,781 --> 00:26:10,314
Power is holding.

627
00:26:10,316 --> 00:26:12,182
Now, why don't you go down
to the office and call for help?

628
00:26:12,184 --> 00:26:13,484
My pleasure.

629
00:26:13,486 --> 00:26:14,752
Okay, thanks.

630
00:26:14,754 --> 00:26:16,253
A Leyden jar capacitor.
Nice.

631
00:26:16,255 --> 00:26:18,989
Yeah, it should store and
release enough electricity

632
00:26:18,991 --> 00:26:20,691
to get the defibrillator
back and running again.

633
00:26:20,693 --> 00:26:24,495
Okay, now all I need
is a nail. Oh. That hatpin.

634
00:26:26,132 --> 00:26:27,598
I'll get some juice.

635
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,500
All right,
he's running out of steam!

636
00:26:32,438 --> 00:26:34,405
Wire it in.

637
00:26:38,310 --> 00:26:39,343
It's working.

638
00:26:39,345 --> 00:26:40,778
Happy, switch with me.

639
00:26:46,619 --> 00:26:48,986
And... clear!

640
00:26:54,260 --> 00:26:55,893
Okay. He's okay.

641
00:26:58,998 --> 00:27:01,165
Wait, what the hell?

642
00:27:01,167 --> 00:27:03,000
No, no, no.
It's-it's okay. Look.

643
00:27:03,002 --> 00:27:06,170
Uh, what's that all about, Doc?

644
00:27:06,172 --> 00:27:08,238
His heart is being choked
by the pericardic blood.

645
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,574
The defib acts
like a pacemaker.

646
00:27:10,576 --> 00:27:12,843
Sensing when his ticker stops,
then it hits reset

647
00:27:12,845 --> 00:27:15,245
by automatically shocking it
back into the rhythm.

648
00:27:15,247 --> 00:27:16,647
He needs to stay hooked up,

649
00:27:16,649 --> 00:27:17,915
but he'll-he'll be okay
until an ambulance gets here.

650
00:27:17,917 --> 00:27:19,383
Okay, well,

651
00:27:19,385 --> 00:27:21,285
that's not gonna be
for a while because traffic

652
00:27:21,287 --> 00:27:23,487
is still backed up
from the blown transformer

653
00:27:23,489 --> 00:27:25,355
and emergency personnel
are spread thin.

654
00:27:25,357 --> 00:27:27,724
Cops and ambulance won't be
here for another 30 minutes.

655
00:27:27,726 --> 00:27:28,992
We don't
have 30 minutes.

656
00:27:28,994 --> 00:27:32,596
The guys who shot the guard
are on their way here.

657
00:27:32,598 --> 00:27:34,431
What?! Why?!

658
00:27:34,433 --> 00:27:36,433
They can't find the evidence
they're looking for.

659
00:27:36,435 --> 00:27:38,101
The guard they shot is missing

660
00:27:38,103 --> 00:27:39,577
and there's cart tracks
leading back to here.

661
00:27:39,578 --> 00:27:41,213
It's okay.
I locked up their bikes.

662
00:27:42,708 --> 00:27:45,609
That's the sound of people
shooting locks off of chains.

663
00:27:45,611 --> 00:27:47,611
They'll have those bikes
hotwired in minutes.

664
00:27:47,613 --> 00:27:49,480
All right. Let's grab
the guard and scram.

665
00:27:49,482 --> 00:27:50,514
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And go where?

666
00:27:50,516 --> 00:27:52,015
The-the parking lot
is a mile away

667
00:27:52,017 --> 00:27:53,517
and the service road
is backed up to the 101.

668
00:27:53,519 --> 00:27:57,254
Okay, so we camouflage ourselves
in a mass of hundreds of cars.

669
00:27:57,256 --> 00:27:58,455
That's a no-go.

670
00:27:58,457 --> 00:28:01,058
This man has to stay hooked up
to this defib or he dies.

671
00:28:01,060 --> 00:28:02,593
Can't we hook
that machine up

672
00:28:02,595 --> 00:28:04,061
to a car battery or something?

673
00:28:04,063 --> 00:28:06,363
That's DC power.
The defib needs AC.

674
00:28:06,365 --> 00:28:09,433
Well, what happens if we just,
uh, give them the evidence?

675
00:28:10,236 --> 00:28:11,802
Besides letting
a murderer go free?

676
00:28:11,804 --> 00:28:14,238
There's no guarantee that
they won't kill us anyway.

677
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,707
Be the smart play.
Leave no witnesses.

678
00:28:16,709 --> 00:28:18,709
I have an idea how we can
protect the evidence

679
00:28:18,711 --> 00:28:20,511
and stop the bikers,
but we're gonna need help,

680
00:28:20,513 --> 00:28:21,778
all of your help.

681
00:28:24,717 --> 00:28:28,418
Yeah, uh, I-I have
sciatica. So...

682
00:28:29,989 --> 00:28:32,356
Giving you my hatpin
is one thing, but...

683
00:28:32,358 --> 00:28:33,657
you're talking
about guys with guns.

684
00:28:33,659 --> 00:28:35,792
Seriously?
None of you will help?

685
00:28:35,794 --> 00:28:38,662
Uh...

686
00:28:38,664 --> 00:28:40,964
Sylvester.

687
00:28:45,838 --> 00:28:48,171
You got to convince
them to work with us.

688
00:28:48,173 --> 00:28:50,140
You do it.
You're the military man.

689
00:28:50,142 --> 00:28:52,042
Exactly why they
won't listen to me.

690
00:28:52,044 --> 00:28:53,310
You speak nerd.

691
00:28:53,312 --> 00:28:55,212
You saw what happens
when I try to speak

692
00:28:55,214 --> 00:28:57,180
with something this big
on the line.

693
00:28:57,182 --> 00:28:59,416
You saw me fail
in court today.

694
00:29:01,253 --> 00:29:03,620
When Timan the Tailor

695
00:29:03,622 --> 00:29:06,690
failed to convince the
vassals to donate crops

696
00:29:06,692 --> 00:29:08,692
to the villagers,
did he give up?

697
00:29:08,694 --> 00:29:11,028
Hell no. He rallied
the peasants

698
00:29:11,030 --> 00:29:12,329
of Winterbourne.

699
00:29:12,331 --> 00:29:15,332
I knew you loved
Chair of Blades.

700
00:29:15,334 --> 00:29:16,900
Of course I do. Who wouldn't
love Chair of Blades?

701
00:29:16,902 --> 00:29:18,368
It's about warriors
battling for the right

702
00:29:18,370 --> 00:29:20,070
to sit on a
chair of blades.

703
00:29:20,072 --> 00:29:21,171
What's more badass
than that?

704
00:29:21,173 --> 00:29:23,273
Now, listen to me,

705
00:29:23,275 --> 00:29:27,644
you're as much a leader
as Timan the Tailor.

706
00:29:27,646 --> 00:29:30,447
It's in you.

707
00:29:30,449 --> 00:29:32,516
Just find it.

708
00:29:40,871 --> 00:29:45,667
Friends, Roman, countrymen,

709
00:29:46,067 --> 00:29:48,335
lend me your ear.

710
00:29:48,336 --> 00:29:52,405
Bullies call us nerds, geeks,

711
00:29:52,407 --> 00:29:54,340
losers.

712
00:29:54,342 --> 00:29:57,377
The world shuns our kind.

713
00:29:57,379 --> 00:30:02,148
We have just one safe place:
the Renaissance Festival.

714
00:30:02,150 --> 00:30:03,616
And the Warlock's Chest.

715
00:30:03,618 --> 00:30:06,719
Yes, and the Warlock's Chest.

716
00:30:06,721 --> 00:30:08,354
And sci-fi conventions.

717
00:30:08,356 --> 00:30:09,889
Okay, so we have
three safe places,

718
00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,724
but only one of them
is being threatened today.

719
00:30:11,726 --> 00:30:16,529
And we need all of your help
to protect it.

720
00:30:16,531 --> 00:30:22,001
We play games in which
we pretend to be heroes.

721
00:30:22,003 --> 00:30:24,570
But this is your chance

722
00:30:24,572 --> 00:30:27,874
to actually be heroes.

723
00:30:27,876 --> 00:30:30,476
For how can we ever hope

724
00:30:30,478 --> 00:30:33,780
to live long and prosper

725
00:30:33,782 --> 00:30:37,316
if we be cowards now?

726
00:30:37,318 --> 00:30:39,051
So...

727
00:30:39,053 --> 00:30:44,090
so, who will stand with me
against the invading horde

728
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:47,760
and say,
"You can take our lunch money,

729
00:30:47,762 --> 00:30:52,131
but you will never take
our Renaissance Festival!"

730
00:30:52,133 --> 00:30:54,434
Huzzah! Huzzah!

731
00:30:54,436 --> 00:30:57,203
Huzzah! Huzzah!

732
00:30:57,205 --> 00:31:00,139
You hear that?

733
00:31:00,141 --> 00:31:02,108
Motorcycle engines.
They're on their way.

734
00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:04,177
Huzzah! Huzzah!

735
00:31:04,179 --> 00:31:06,045
We're all gonna
die here, right?

736
00:31:06,047 --> 00:31:07,847
Yeah, we're totally dead.

737
00:31:07,849 --> 00:31:09,749
Huzzah!

738
00:31:09,751 --> 00:31:11,184
Those bikers can't know that

739
00:31:11,186 --> 00:31:12,919
we're trying to lure them
in or this won't work.

740
00:31:12,921 --> 00:31:14,153
Show me your surprise face.

741
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:18,224
You surprised
or having a stroke?

742
00:31:18,226 --> 00:31:20,426
All right, here
they come. Places!

743
00:31:20,428 --> 00:31:21,994
Great.

744
00:31:21,996 --> 00:31:23,196
Oh, my God.

745
00:31:28,203 --> 00:31:30,102
Oh, boy.

746
00:31:58,132 --> 00:31:59,732
Now.

747
00:32:08,643 --> 00:32:10,610
My ankle.

748
00:32:12,447 --> 00:32:13,913
Now, that's a surprised face.

749
00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:22,388
Huh?

750
00:32:39,307 --> 00:32:41,941
Looks like you're going
to the stocks, jackass.

751
00:32:47,015 --> 00:32:48,080
Oh, crap.

752
00:32:51,953 --> 00:32:54,193
Come on, man, you're nothing
but a sitting duck out here.

753
00:32:54,822 --> 00:32:56,923
Come on.

754
00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:06,933
Huzzah!

755
00:33:16,044 --> 00:33:17,209
Cabe!

756
00:33:20,882 --> 00:33:23,316
Drop it.

757
00:33:24,385 --> 00:33:26,385
Well, you're the boss.

758
00:33:28,489 --> 00:33:30,456
No! No!

759
00:33:30,458 --> 00:33:32,158
If somebody doesn't give
me that evidence bag,

760
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,492
I'm gonna kill him.

761
00:33:33,494 --> 00:33:34,860
Don't do anything drastic.

762
00:33:34,862 --> 00:33:36,128
Give me the shirt.

763
00:33:36,130 --> 00:33:37,396
No.
I hid it

764
00:33:37,398 --> 00:33:38,631
when you were fighting.
I won't tell you

765
00:33:38,633 --> 00:33:40,166
where it is until
you let him go.

766
00:33:40,168 --> 00:33:41,233
It's not happening.

767
00:33:41,235 --> 00:33:42,201
I will kill him,

768
00:33:42,203 --> 00:33:43,736
and I will kill all of you.

769
00:33:43,738 --> 00:33:45,638
Oh, he's telling the truth.

770
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,006
Good.

771
00:33:47,008 --> 00:33:48,507
'Cause in order
to save this cop's life,

772
00:33:48,509 --> 00:33:50,576
first he has to die.

773
00:34:02,946 --> 00:34:05,113
I'm pulling the
trigger on three.

774
00:34:08,318 --> 00:34:10,284
Happy, how much do you trust me?

775
00:34:10,286 --> 00:34:11,653
More than I probably should.

776
00:34:11,677 --> 00:34:12,755
One.

777
00:34:12,756 --> 00:34:14,422
I need you to undo
everything that you did.

778
00:34:14,424 --> 00:34:15,857
Destroy it all.

779
00:34:15,859 --> 00:34:17,125
Oh, man.

780
00:34:17,127 --> 00:34:18,693
I think I know
what you're planning.

781
00:34:18,695 --> 00:34:19,594
Two.

782
00:34:19,596 --> 00:34:20,328
What's he planning?

783
00:34:20,330 --> 00:34:21,496
Something nuts.

784
00:34:21,498 --> 00:34:22,498
Now!

785
00:34:31,841 --> 00:34:33,674
What the...?

786
00:34:38,648 --> 00:34:42,517
See? I told you that sword
was held in with electricity.

787
00:34:42,519 --> 00:34:44,118
Well, speaking of which,
with no electricity,

788
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,253
we just killed this man.

789
00:34:45,255 --> 00:34:46,354
What's the plan, Walt?

790
00:34:46,356 --> 00:34:47,989
Uh, Paige, grab
that spinning wheel.

791
00:34:47,991 --> 00:34:50,525
I'll set up the defibrillator!

792
00:34:50,527 --> 00:34:51,292
You're gonna
wrap wool around the hat pin

793
00:34:51,294 --> 00:34:53,294
on the capacitor you built.

794
00:34:53,296 --> 00:34:54,929
And the spinning wheel
will move fast enough to create

795
00:34:54,931 --> 00:34:56,164
a static charge capable

796
00:34:56,166 --> 00:34:57,732
of firing
the defibrillator back up.

797
00:34:57,734 --> 00:34:59,500
Which will fire
his heart back up.

798
00:34:59,502 --> 00:35:01,035
Okay.

799
00:35:01,037 --> 00:35:02,870
Walt, hurry up!
Yep.

800
00:35:02,872 --> 00:35:04,539
Okay, Paige, start peddling.

801
00:35:04,541 --> 00:35:05,706
Okay.

802
00:35:05,708 --> 00:35:07,041
How much power does it make?

803
00:35:07,043 --> 00:35:08,743
Uh, not a lot.
Ed Begley Jr. could barely

804
00:35:08,745 --> 00:35:10,044
make his toast this way.

805
00:35:10,046 --> 00:35:11,512
Well, let's just hope
it's enough to give him

806
00:35:11,514 --> 00:35:13,514
a decent enough jolt
every 90 seconds or so,

807
00:35:13,516 --> 00:35:14,882
or this guy's not gonna make it.

808
00:35:14,884 --> 00:35:17,185
Ready for shock.

809
00:35:17,187 --> 00:35:18,753
All right, hit him!

810
00:35:23,493 --> 00:35:25,993
It worked. Uh, he's-he's gonna
need another one soon,

811
00:35:25,995 --> 00:35:27,128
so keep pumping,
Paige.

812
00:35:27,130 --> 00:35:28,529
How long do I have
to keep this going?

813
00:35:28,531 --> 00:35:29,697
Till an ambulance gets here.

814
00:35:29,699 --> 00:35:31,966
We can all take turns.

815
00:35:31,968 --> 00:35:34,402
Feel like your speech really
had an effect on them, kid.

816
00:35:34,404 --> 00:35:35,770
Yeah, I-I...

817
00:35:35,772 --> 00:35:38,339
I can't pedal on account
of my sciatica.

818
00:35:38,341 --> 00:35:40,875
All except that one.
He's a real weenie.

819
00:35:46,082 --> 00:35:47,648
King Phillip?

820
00:35:50,887 --> 00:35:52,386
Were you hiding
in the manure bin?

821
00:35:52,388 --> 00:35:54,589
Good day.

822
00:35:56,259 --> 00:35:57,992
Speaking of weenies.

823
00:36:05,602 --> 00:36:08,703
Just got off the phone
with a cop buddy of mine.

824
00:36:08,705 --> 00:36:12,173
Guard's gonna be okay,
the bikers won't be.

825
00:36:13,009 --> 00:36:14,375
Garage looks...

826
00:36:14,377 --> 00:36:16,177
Looks like
The Hobbit threw up in it.

827
00:36:16,179 --> 00:36:17,712
I was gonna say "perfect."

828
00:36:17,714 --> 00:36:19,914
Next best thing to a birthday
at the Renaissance Festival.

829
00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:21,682
Okay, Sly.

830
00:36:21,684 --> 00:36:23,284
Your little friends are here.

831
00:36:23,286 --> 00:36:25,486
Guys. Y-You came.

832
00:36:25,488 --> 00:36:27,455
I thought you were staying
at the festival.

833
00:36:27,457 --> 00:36:29,423
We would never miss
your birthday bacchanalia,

834
00:36:29,425 --> 00:36:31,092
old friend.

835
00:36:31,094 --> 00:36:33,561
And besides, the festival's
closed until they fix the power.

836
00:36:33,563 --> 00:36:36,130
Uh, it matters not why.

837
00:36:36,132 --> 00:36:37,798
Just that
we are here.

838
00:36:38,801 --> 00:36:40,568
Now slice the cake
with Raven's Beak,

839
00:36:40,570 --> 00:36:42,403
let the Dr. Shazz
flow free,

840
00:36:42,405 --> 00:36:45,239
for tonight, we dine in Hell!

841
00:36:45,241 --> 00:36:47,842
Huzzah!

842
00:36:47,844 --> 00:36:50,678
You know, we never finished what
we started in that hay loft.

843
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,780
A Scorpion outing went sideways.

844
00:36:52,782 --> 00:36:54,849
It happens. A lot.

845
00:36:54,851 --> 00:36:58,019
Okay, well, I can't help notice
there's no pending disaster now.

846
00:36:58,021 --> 00:36:59,954
Well, it depends on how
you define "disaster."

847
00:36:59,956 --> 00:37:01,889
Sly's nerd friends
are preparing to do battle.

848
00:37:01,891 --> 00:37:04,759
Careful. Don't get my eyes.
Ow.

849
00:37:04,761 --> 00:37:07,628
See, that's all the more reason
why we need to get back to work

850
00:37:07,630 --> 00:37:11,432
on Operation Baby Quintis
as soon as possible.

851
00:37:11,434 --> 00:37:14,835
Well, it would be a shame to
waste these stupid costumes.

852
00:37:14,837 --> 00:37:18,572
How about after the party,
we have a party of our own?

853
00:37:18,574 --> 00:37:21,709
Don't have to ask me twice.

854
00:37:21,711 --> 00:37:23,945
Speaking of stupid...

855
00:37:23,947 --> 00:37:25,179
I know it's dumb,

856
00:37:25,181 --> 00:37:29,817
but before we left
the festival, I bought this.

857
00:37:30,954 --> 00:37:33,921
Um, it's supposed
to bring the wearer

858
00:37:33,923 --> 00:37:35,690
good baby-making luck.

859
00:37:35,692 --> 00:37:36,757
I don't believe it, but...

860
00:37:36,759 --> 00:37:39,260
You figured,
"What could it hurt"?

861
00:37:39,262 --> 00:37:40,428
Yeah.

862
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,901
Me, too.

863
00:37:59,115 --> 00:38:04,518
? When I'm with you ?

864
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:08,356
? It soothes my mind ?

865
00:38:08,358 --> 00:38:11,959
? And I feel fine ?

866
00:38:11,961 --> 00:38:15,663
? I feel fine ?

867
00:38:15,665 --> 00:38:19,066
? When you're with me ?

868
00:38:19,068 --> 00:38:22,503
? My mind can rest ?

869
00:38:22,505 --> 00:38:25,473
? My thoughts can nest ?

870
00:38:25,475 --> 00:38:29,710
? Thoughts can nest ?

871
00:38:29,712 --> 00:38:31,746
? You're the calm ?

872
00:38:31,748 --> 00:38:35,383
? I hold in my arms ?

873
00:38:35,385 --> 00:38:39,253
? The peace that I need ?

874
00:38:39,255 --> 00:38:42,523
? You so disarm. ?

875
00:38:46,929 --> 00:38:48,429
This is stupid.

876
00:38:48,431 --> 00:38:49,764
Walter?

877
00:38:49,766 --> 00:38:51,098
Um...

878
00:38:51,768 --> 00:38:52,900
Um...

879
00:38:52,902 --> 00:38:53,735
Hey.

880
00:38:53,759 --> 00:38:55,237
I just got back
from picking up Ralph.

881
00:38:55,238 --> 00:38:57,705
He's downstairs, putting his
costume on for Sly's party.

882
00:38:57,707 --> 00:39:00,207
I was gonna change back into
mine, if you want to join us.

883
00:39:00,209 --> 00:39:01,905
Yeah, sure. I'll be down
in a minute.

884
00:39:01,929 --> 00:39:03,929
Great.

885
00:39:04,414 --> 00:39:06,881
You know, my...

886
00:39:06,883 --> 00:39:10,951
my job with Scorpion
is to help you act more human

887
00:39:10,953 --> 00:39:13,854
so you can function
better in the world,

888
00:39:13,856 --> 00:39:16,791
but I don't want you to pretend

889
00:39:16,793 --> 00:39:21,128
to be someone you're not
to be my boyfriend.

890
00:39:21,130 --> 00:39:24,498
You know, like,
earlier today,

891
00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:26,233
I saw a guy with a stupid crown,

892
00:39:26,235 --> 00:39:28,502
and he was pretending
to be someone he's not.

893
00:39:28,504 --> 00:39:31,705
And then, when push
came to shove, he ran away,

894
00:39:31,707 --> 00:39:35,342
and he showed
his ugly true self.

895
00:39:35,344 --> 00:39:36,677
He hid in feces.

896
00:39:36,679 --> 00:39:38,479
Yes, he... he did.

897
00:39:38,481 --> 00:39:40,414
My-my point is,

898
00:39:40,416 --> 00:39:44,585
is that you are always
your true self, Walter,

899
00:39:44,587 --> 00:39:47,888
and that person
is brave and good,

900
00:39:47,890 --> 00:39:49,890
and I love that about you.

901
00:39:49,892 --> 00:39:52,159
So I just wanted
you to know,

902
00:39:52,161 --> 00:39:57,064
I love a lot about you, whether
you like silly festivals or not.

903
00:40:12,215 --> 00:40:15,816
One thing that's for sure,
I am not a musician.

904
00:40:20,089 --> 00:40:22,356
? Being a maiden... ?

905
00:40:22,358 --> 00:40:23,891
Grab me a beer, would you?

906
00:40:23,893 --> 00:40:25,426
You're in a good mood.

907
00:40:25,428 --> 00:40:27,428
Why wouldn't I be? I saw
what my counsel can really do

908
00:40:27,430 --> 00:40:28,629
when the heat is on.

909
00:40:28,631 --> 00:40:30,764
Well, the trust you placed in me

910
00:40:30,766 --> 00:40:32,233
was what inspired me.

911
00:40:32,235 --> 00:40:33,267
I promise you,

912
00:40:33,269 --> 00:40:34,468
come heck or high water,

913
00:40:34,470 --> 00:40:36,036
I will win your case.

914
00:40:36,038 --> 00:40:37,138
I know that.

915
00:40:37,140 --> 00:40:39,406
And don't worry.

916
00:40:39,408 --> 00:40:43,410
I will never tell anyone
that you love Chair of Blades.

917
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,148
Whoa. Cabe's a nerd.

918
00:40:47,150 --> 00:40:49,283
I'm not a nerd.

919
00:40:49,285 --> 00:40:50,718
I'm a Bladie.

920
00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:52,419
And there's a difference.

921
00:40:52,421 --> 00:40:56,557
And Magnus wants to party.

922
00:40:56,559 --> 00:40:58,792
All right.

923
00:41:01,230 --> 00:41:02,730
? Come on ?

924
00:41:02,732 --> 00:41:05,099
? Churn my butter ?

925
00:41:05,101 --> 00:41:07,868
? Please let this knight
break up ?

926
00:41:07,870 --> 00:41:10,070
? Your day ?

927
00:41:11,774 --> 00:41:14,708
? Whoa, whoa, oh,
whoa, whoa, oh. ?

928
00:41:16,245 --> 00:41:23,145
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man