1 00:00:28,933 --> 00:00:30,370 T-Tan-Tandy. 2 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:31,805 Tandy. 3 00:00:31,841 --> 00:00:34,508 What? What? 4 00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:36,710 What? You okay? 5 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,813 We got company. 6 00:00:53,851 --> 00:00:56,751 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 7 00:00:59,635 --> 00:01:02,069 - A sleep birth? - Yep. 8 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,134 Had her right in my sleep. 9 00:01:04,159 --> 00:01:06,240 That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. 10 00:01:06,308 --> 00:01:08,508 Well, I've had similar nocturnal movements. 11 00:01:08,577 --> 00:01:10,544 Eh, not a baby of course, but, uh, 12 00:01:10,579 --> 00:01:12,446 I was, uh, surprised in the morning. 13 00:01:12,481 --> 00:01:14,897 I mean, I was so worried about it. 14 00:01:14,922 --> 00:01:19,086 'Cause, Erica, your birth seemed very painful. 15 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,201 Am I wrong about that? 16 00:01:21,226 --> 00:01:23,390 Yeah, the pain was significant. 17 00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:26,426 Yeah, 'cause for me, it was the exact opposite. 18 00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:28,128 Like, nothing. 19 00:01:28,197 --> 00:01:30,697 In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion, 20 00:01:30,733 --> 00:01:33,367 I might have even orgasmed. 21 00:01:33,402 --> 00:01:34,199 Oh. 22 00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:36,761 - Well, good for you. - Yeah, right? 23 00:01:36,786 --> 00:01:38,907 Anyway, looking back at it now, 24 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:42,837 I realize all that worrying was for nothing. 25 00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,903 Isn't that right, Bezequille? 26 00:01:45,743 --> 00:01:48,012 So, we're sticking with Bezequille? 27 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,911 I l... I love it. 28 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:56,615 - Yeah. - Hey there, Bezequille. 29 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,850 I'm your Uncle Todd, 30 00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:01,586 and this is your Aunt Melissa. 31 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:04,923 You want to say hi, Melissa? 32 00:02:05,577 --> 00:02:06,691 Hey. 33 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,727 What's up? 34 00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,029 Look at you. 35 00:02:11,682 --> 00:02:13,081 You're perfect. 36 00:02:13,106 --> 00:02:15,066 You little bumblebee. 37 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,403 That's what you are, a little bumblebee. 38 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:21,873 'Cause you stung me... right in the heart. 39 00:02:22,259 --> 00:02:26,044 It's swelling up bigger than I ever thought possible. 40 00:02:26,516 --> 00:02:28,182 - Sorry. - Well, 41 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:30,480 I'm gonna go eat the placenta. 42 00:02:30,505 --> 00:02:32,096 Anybody want to join? 43 00:02:32,121 --> 00:02:33,214 - Thanks for asking. - Oh, no. 44 00:02:33,239 --> 00:02:35,112 - I have some things I got to do. - I'm practicing my accordion. 45 00:02:35,182 --> 00:02:37,121 I would love some. 46 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,228 Oh, my God. 47 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,963 I can't believe I stayed sober 48 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,232 for two weeks waiting to deliver that baby, 49 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,734 and Carol goes and pops it out in her sleep. 50 00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,769 Oh, was the birth easy for Carol? 51 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,304 I hadn't heard that. 52 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,874 Hey, look on the bright side, I'm not on baby watch anymore. 53 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,709 So, what do you say, we can finally have 54 00:02:57,777 --> 00:02:59,230 that little date night tonight? 55 00:02:59,255 --> 00:03:01,346 Ugh, that's exactly what I need. 56 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,147 What are we gonna do with this one? 57 00:03:03,691 --> 00:03:06,746 I think I know someone who might be available. 58 00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:08,786 A thousand times yes! 59 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,555 Oh, this is gonna be so great. 60 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,857 We're gonna read some stories, sing some lullabies, 61 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,692 maybe count macaronis together. 62 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,061 Oh, gotta do some tickling. 63 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,664 Okay, I'm off to get supplies. Whenever you guys need me, 64 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,133 I'll be waiting right outside your door. 65 00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:30,275 And then the noodle realized that he needed 66 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:34,045 to take a high dive off his own expectations. 67 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,347 That sounds like a great story. 68 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,746 - Yeah. - You know, Care Bear, 69 00:03:37,771 --> 00:03:40,084 I feel like I gave birth today, too. 70 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,886 To a new worldview. 71 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,721 A new responsibility. 72 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,024 And a new song. 73 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,459 I call this "A New World View, 74 00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:51,663 A New Responsibility, A New Song." 75 00:03:52,462 --> 00:03:55,003 Give her a front row seat. 76 00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,643 There you go. 77 00:04:00,112 --> 00:04:03,441 ? Have you ever had a teeny, tiny baby ? 78 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:06,177 ? Sitting right on your face? ? 79 00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:07,912 ? And you realize ? 80 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,580 ? You got responsibilities ? 81 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,016 ? Hitting you from every place ? 82 00:04:12,041 --> 00:04:14,919 ? Well, it's an honor and a very big deal ? 83 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:18,423 ? Much more than just changing some di-i-iapers ? 84 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,858 ? Gotta set a good example ? 85 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,694 ? Gotta feed 'em lots of food ? 86 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,262 ? And even some knowledge ? 87 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,897 ? Closure, closure ? 88 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,420 ? Closure, closure, closure ? 89 00:04:27,445 --> 00:04:30,401 ? Our baby's in this world now and she's melting my heart ? 90 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,770 ? Closure, closure, closure, closure ? 91 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,606 ? Closure, our baby is born ? 92 00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:38,543 ? Thank you, Yahweh ? 93 00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,613 ? Fart, fart, fart. ? 94 00:04:43,096 --> 00:04:45,550 Care Bear. You okay? 95 00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,552 Yeah. I've... 96 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,788 I've just had this weird cramp all day, and now 97 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,256 I just feel dizzy. 98 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,059 Why don't we go check in with Gail, just to be safe? 99 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,161 - Okay? Here, I'll get the baby. - Okay. 100 00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:01,131 You almost done? 101 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,402 Just give me another sec. 102 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,561 Huh. 103 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:15,780 What? 104 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,707 Carol... 105 00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:20,379 you ever go to a fast-food joint? 106 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:23,087 Oh, I'm gonna stop you right there... I don't like fast food. 107 00:05:23,112 --> 00:05:25,079 I prefer it slow or mid-tempo. 108 00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,191 I do like fast food. 109 00:05:27,603 --> 00:05:30,884 And I went to a place once, 110 00:05:31,157 --> 00:05:33,376 - and I ordered a cheeseburger, - Mm. 111 00:05:33,688 --> 00:05:35,099 And after I ate it, 112 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,769 I reached into the bag for a napkin, 113 00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:40,538 and I noticed... 114 00:05:40,815 --> 00:05:43,182 a second cheeseburger down there. 115 00:05:45,576 --> 00:05:47,076 You see what I mean? 116 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:53,117 An additional cheeseburger that I had not ordered? 117 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,286 Um... I'm lost here. 118 00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:57,288 What are you saying? 119 00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:59,257 Carol... 120 00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,093 you've got another baby stuck up in ya. 121 00:06:05,737 --> 00:06:07,926 There's another baby inside of me. 122 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,636 Is that even possible? 123 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,628 Well, I'm looking at it with my own two eyes, 124 00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:15,031 so... yeah, I'm gonna go with yes. 125 00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,200 Hello, ladies. 126 00:06:17,302 --> 00:06:19,669 Me and my daughter, just born today... 127 00:06:19,737 --> 00:06:22,175 You were there... Uh, we're just checking in 128 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,111 to see how you guys were doing. 129 00:06:24,576 --> 00:06:27,777 Tandy, I have something to tell you. 130 00:06:28,197 --> 00:06:30,030 Uh, what's up, Care Bear? 131 00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:32,381 We're gonna have another baby. 132 00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:34,417 Well, sounds good. Let me just go wash my balls. 133 00:06:34,452 --> 00:06:35,485 Oh, no-no-no-no. 134 00:06:35,587 --> 00:06:38,588 I mean, we're gonna have another baby right now. 135 00:06:38,656 --> 00:06:41,141 Carol, warning: they're pretty dirty. 136 00:06:41,166 --> 00:06:44,560 Tandy, I'm not talking about making another baby. 137 00:06:44,629 --> 00:06:49,699 I'm saying there's another baby already inside of me. 138 00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:53,825 You... 139 00:06:55,658 --> 00:06:58,541 You have another cheeseburger in the bag? 140 00:06:58,610 --> 00:06:59,775 Yeah. 141 00:07:01,513 --> 00:07:03,546 I'm gonna be another father. 142 00:07:05,644 --> 00:07:08,645 Oh, my God. So, what's the ETA? 143 00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:09,886 Well, they usually come 144 00:07:09,954 --> 00:07:13,055 one right after the other, but says here, 145 00:07:13,124 --> 00:07:17,059 it's not too uncommon for there to be a little separation. 146 00:07:17,128 --> 00:07:20,221 Say what you will about the cleanliness of my balls, 147 00:07:20,246 --> 00:07:22,965 but they sure know how to make babies. 148 00:07:23,101 --> 00:07:25,902 Yeah. I guess that's the takeaway. 149 00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:27,270 Gross. 150 00:07:27,338 --> 00:07:30,015 Bad news, hon. 151 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,542 - Date night's off. - Why? 152 00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:35,077 Carol's got another baby stuck up her. 153 00:07:35,102 --> 00:07:37,490 What? No way. 154 00:07:37,515 --> 00:07:39,215 Yup, right up in her. 155 00:07:39,615 --> 00:07:42,595 Am I horrible for being super glad she's having another one? 156 00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:45,044 - Of course not. - Or for the main reason 157 00:07:45,084 --> 00:07:48,201 being my sincere desire for it to be incredibly painful? 158 00:07:48,226 --> 00:07:51,227 Now, that does tip it back the other way, just a little bit. 159 00:07:51,329 --> 00:07:53,996 - Yeah, you can never tell her I said that. - I won't. 160 00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,232 'Cause then she might downplay the pain just to spite me. 161 00:07:56,257 --> 00:07:58,100 Can I be there? Can I watch? 162 00:07:58,371 --> 00:08:00,269 I'm not sure your current energy 163 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,738 would be super helpful in that room. 164 00:08:02,763 --> 00:08:05,474 I'm sorry. Obviously, I want her to have a smooth birth. 165 00:08:05,543 --> 00:08:06,742 Oh, yeah. 166 00:08:06,878 --> 00:08:10,290 But with just enough pain to respect the process. 167 00:08:14,018 --> 00:08:16,419 You are barely dilated. 168 00:08:18,056 --> 00:08:22,025 So, nothing? You don't feel any contractions? 169 00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:22,869 Nope. 170 00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:24,627 Here, Care Bear, try this. 171 00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:27,430 Aah! Aah! What is that?! 172 00:08:27,498 --> 00:08:29,098 It's a bowl of Tabasco sauce. 173 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,600 I-I found a list of the things 174 00:08:30,702 --> 00:08:32,335 that are supposed to help induce labor, 175 00:08:32,437 --> 00:08:34,237 and spicy foods is one of them. 176 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,105 I-I guess they steam the baby out? 177 00:08:36,174 --> 00:08:37,607 Here, Gail, check her now. 178 00:08:39,405 --> 00:08:40,704 No change. 179 00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:42,912 Hey, relax. 180 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,785 I am not worried. 181 00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:46,649 The baby will come when it's ready. 182 00:08:46,718 --> 00:08:48,751 Well, look at you, 183 00:08:48,776 --> 00:08:52,033 - all mellowed out. - Well, Bezequille taught me 184 00:08:52,058 --> 00:08:53,893 a big lesson today. 185 00:08:53,918 --> 00:08:55,992 All that time I spent worried about her birth, 186 00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:57,672 I'll never get it back. 187 00:08:57,697 --> 00:08:59,600 So starting tonight, 188 00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,364 I am not gonna get all jangled up 189 00:09:01,432 --> 00:09:03,733 about things that are beyond my control. 190 00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:05,001 Good for you, hon. 191 00:09:05,794 --> 00:09:07,996 So, I'm gonna go to bed. 192 00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:09,105 Um... 193 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,806 here's a misoprostol 194 00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:12,508 to get the ball rolling down there. 195 00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:15,411 And you just give me a shout if anything happens. 196 00:09:15,732 --> 00:09:16,958 Thanks, Mom. 197 00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:20,182 This is great. Between Gail's medicine and my list, 198 00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:22,018 we'll get this baby out of you. 199 00:09:22,086 --> 00:09:24,153 So you just sit back and... relax! 200 00:09:26,891 --> 00:09:28,190 Scaring you is on the list. 201 00:09:28,259 --> 00:09:29,792 Yeah. Anything? 202 00:09:29,817 --> 00:09:32,028 - No. - Okay. Well... 203 00:09:32,096 --> 00:09:34,530 cross that one off. 204 00:09:35,028 --> 00:09:36,332 Or will I? 205 00:09:40,905 --> 00:09:42,571 What's with the sour mug, bub? 206 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,207 Nothing. I'm fine. 207 00:09:47,291 --> 00:09:49,312 I thought you were supposed to be babysitting. 208 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,080 Erica called it off, 'cause Gail's busy 209 00:09:51,149 --> 00:09:52,315 with Carol's birth stuff. 210 00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:55,584 Well, it's probably for the best. 211 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,020 What's that supposed to mean? 212 00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:01,223 I mean, I just know you have a little case of baby fever, 213 00:10:01,292 --> 00:10:03,225 and I see where this is going. 214 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,096 No, Melissa, look. 215 00:10:07,464 --> 00:10:09,464 We made our decision, okay? 216 00:10:09,489 --> 00:10:11,200 Having kids is not for us. 217 00:10:11,269 --> 00:10:14,337 And I totally respect your desire to remain barren. 218 00:10:14,553 --> 00:10:16,320 Todd, be honest with me. 219 00:10:16,536 --> 00:10:18,808 Melissa, I don't need kids to be happy. 220 00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:20,543 All I need is you. 221 00:10:29,854 --> 00:10:31,721 You feeling anything? 222 00:10:32,697 --> 00:10:33,689 No. 223 00:10:34,094 --> 00:10:35,958 Hmm. Nipple stimulation's supposed to be 224 00:10:36,027 --> 00:10:37,460 one of the biggies. Here, let me 225 00:10:37,528 --> 00:10:39,929 try the other way a little bit. 226 00:10:43,196 --> 00:10:44,614 Still nothing? 227 00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:47,970 Let me try this. 228 00:10:52,232 --> 00:10:53,876 Anything? 229 00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,579 Flick 'em, flick 'em. 230 00:10:58,182 --> 00:10:59,415 Nothing? 231 00:11:01,401 --> 00:11:02,595 No. 232 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:05,136 Oh, maybe they're talking about intellectual stimulation. 233 00:11:05,769 --> 00:11:07,923 What if Benjamin Buttons had a zipper? 234 00:11:07,948 --> 00:11:09,625 Tandy, I appreciate your efforts, 235 00:11:09,694 --> 00:11:11,427 but I think I'm just too tired 236 00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:13,696 to be stimulated nipple-arily. 237 00:11:13,765 --> 00:11:15,965 Oh. Then, baby, why don't you get some sleep? 238 00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:18,200 What kind of mother would I be if I missed 239 00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:20,921 two of my babies being born in the same day? 240 00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:23,572 Hey, Care Bear, would you feel better 241 00:11:23,608 --> 00:11:26,342 if I stayed up all night and watched your vagina? 242 00:11:26,377 --> 00:11:28,077 You would do that for me? 243 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,512 I would do that for a lot of people. 244 00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:32,047 But tonight, yes, it's for you. 245 00:11:32,116 --> 00:11:34,483 - I love you. - I love you. 246 00:11:36,201 --> 00:11:39,889 Now, promise me you'll wake me up the second anything happens. 247 00:11:39,957 --> 00:11:42,124 Carol, columns could crumble. 248 00:11:42,193 --> 00:11:43,659 The moon could explode. 249 00:11:43,694 --> 00:11:46,495 A banshee could scream in the very face of time. 250 00:11:46,564 --> 00:11:48,736 And I will not... stop... 251 00:11:48,761 --> 00:11:51,734 watching... this... vagina. 252 00:11:53,569 --> 00:11:55,321 Clocking in. 253 00:12:04,002 --> 00:12:05,091 Tandy. 254 00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:06,926 - Oh, what... - Tandy. 255 00:12:06,951 --> 00:12:08,184 Wha-Wha... What? What, what? 256 00:12:08,286 --> 00:12:10,910 You said you'd keep watch for me all night. 257 00:12:10,935 --> 00:12:12,455 Carol, relax. 258 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:13,989 I had it covered. 259 00:12:14,058 --> 00:12:16,992 What do you mean, had it covered? 260 00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:21,430 Still need me here, bud? 261 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,499 Thanks. I-I got it from here, bud. 262 00:12:27,478 --> 00:12:28,711 Carol. 263 00:12:28,736 --> 00:12:30,002 Todd. 264 00:12:31,008 --> 00:12:32,939 - Gail. - Todd. 265 00:12:33,681 --> 00:12:35,544 So, where we at? 266 00:12:35,861 --> 00:12:38,047 Still stuck at the equator, Mom. 267 00:12:38,115 --> 00:12:40,015 That pill should've worked by now. 268 00:12:40,084 --> 00:12:42,117 Okay, let me take another look. 269 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,589 All these people looking at my pieces. 270 00:12:46,624 --> 00:12:50,092 Now I know what the Newport Ceramics Festival feels like. 271 00:12:51,936 --> 00:12:53,796 Okay, well, um... 272 00:12:53,865 --> 00:12:56,332 Tandy, could I talk to you... 273 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,234 for a second, outside? 274 00:12:58,302 --> 00:13:00,503 - Sure. - No. I want to hear it. 275 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,372 Whatever you have to say to him, you can say to me, too. 276 00:13:04,546 --> 00:13:05,875 Fine. I... 277 00:13:05,943 --> 00:13:08,244 I'm kind of freaking out here. 278 00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:09,999 Why are you so worried? 279 00:13:10,024 --> 00:13:13,942 Because I don't want anything to happen to you or this baby. 280 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,551 Well, neither do I. 281 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,920 But it's all gonna be okay. 282 00:13:17,989 --> 00:13:19,755 Yeah, it will. 283 00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:22,892 'Cause we're gonna get that baby out of you. 284 00:13:23,225 --> 00:13:25,278 Right friggin' now. 285 00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:28,387 We... We need to get the baby out now? 286 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:29,473 What's the rush? 287 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,808 Thought your book said it wasn't a big deal. 288 00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:33,477 Well, the longer you wait, the more risk of complications. 289 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,946 I mean, the baby's head could get too big for the birth canal. 290 00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,616 Extra pressure on the umbilical cord. 291 00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,444 Possibility of meconium infection. 292 00:13:41,469 --> 00:13:43,673 Look, I appreciate your concern, 293 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,598 but I've read about all the risks, 294 00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:47,600 and I'm not worried about it. 295 00:13:47,669 --> 00:13:50,103 Hon, we should hear Gail out, okay? 296 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,804 So, uh, what are you proposing? 297 00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:54,340 I want to go in 298 00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:57,271 and break the amniotic sac with a needle. 299 00:13:57,296 --> 00:14:01,083 D... Uh... no, we are not kebabing our baby. 300 00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:02,649 Well, it's our best option. 301 00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,283 Well, if it's such a great option, 302 00:14:04,352 --> 00:14:05,812 why isn't it even on my list? 303 00:14:05,837 --> 00:14:07,352 - Oh... - Please, please. 304 00:14:07,377 --> 00:14:11,257 It's hard for me to put what I'm feeling into words. 305 00:14:11,326 --> 00:14:13,626 Call it mother's intuition. 306 00:14:13,695 --> 00:14:15,795 But I need you to trust me. 307 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:18,231 The baby will come when it's ready. 308 00:14:20,236 --> 00:14:21,501 Okay. 309 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,336 If that's what you want. 310 00:14:23,438 --> 00:14:24,671 It is. 311 00:14:28,376 --> 00:14:30,476 Who's a little angel? 312 00:14:30,545 --> 00:14:32,412 Are you my little baby pet? 313 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,381 Did you keep Mommy up all night last night? 314 00:14:35,450 --> 00:14:36,749 Was that you? 315 00:14:36,818 --> 00:14:38,384 Yes, it was. 316 00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:41,054 That was you, wasn't it? Yes, you did. 317 00:14:41,156 --> 00:14:42,889 Oh, hey. 318 00:14:42,957 --> 00:14:44,924 Hey, Todd. Hey. 319 00:14:44,993 --> 00:14:47,994 Hey, um, you feeling okay? 320 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,495 Why? 321 00:14:49,564 --> 00:14:50,863 Just seem a little tired. 322 00:14:50,888 --> 00:14:53,032 You know, just based on what your face looks like. 323 00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:56,569 - Wow. - No, d-don't-don't get me wrong. 324 00:14:56,638 --> 00:14:59,505 Y... You-you look great, hon. Very wise. 325 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,775 You know, like an old, gnarled oak tree, you know? 326 00:15:02,844 --> 00:15:04,343 Tons of integrity. 327 00:15:04,412 --> 00:15:06,112 - Thank you? - You know, 328 00:15:06,147 --> 00:15:07,914 th-this isn't coming out right. I just... 329 00:15:07,989 --> 00:15:11,196 If you need to take a little nap, I'd be happy to watch Dawn. 330 00:15:11,221 --> 00:15:14,012 - Well, I'm not sure about the tree stuff... - Fair. 331 00:15:14,089 --> 00:15:15,916 But I could really use a nap. 332 00:15:15,941 --> 00:15:19,025 A-And just so you know, I don't need kids to be happy. 333 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,916 - Oh, good for you, Todd. - All I need is Melissa. 334 00:15:22,314 --> 00:15:23,529 - Todd... - This is just so you can get some sleep 335 00:15:23,598 --> 00:15:25,127 - for your face. - All right, I got it. 336 00:15:25,152 --> 00:15:27,319 - You've made that abundantly clear. - Okay. 337 00:15:28,025 --> 00:15:28,935 Bye-bye, Dawn. 338 00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:30,416 Bye-bye. 339 00:15:31,611 --> 00:15:33,578 - Bye. - See you. 340 00:15:35,677 --> 00:15:37,910 She's gone. Hey. 341 00:15:45,393 --> 00:15:46,496 Oh. Hey. 342 00:15:46,521 --> 00:15:48,020 Hey, Melissa. 343 00:15:48,089 --> 00:15:49,622 Where have you been? 344 00:15:50,357 --> 00:15:53,092 You know, just, um... 345 00:15:53,205 --> 00:15:55,038 hanging out with the guys. 346 00:15:55,063 --> 00:15:57,130 Is that baby powder on your shirt? 347 00:15:57,198 --> 00:15:59,098 This is, um, um... 348 00:15:59,373 --> 00:16:01,100 the, um... 349 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,302 It's... cocaine. 350 00:16:03,371 --> 00:16:04,784 Cocaine? 351 00:16:04,809 --> 00:16:06,609 Yes. Cocaine. 352 00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:09,976 I was doing cocaine because... I love it. 353 00:16:10,044 --> 00:16:11,144 You were with Dawn, weren't you? 354 00:16:11,212 --> 00:16:13,146 Look, how many times do I have to tell you? 355 00:16:13,214 --> 00:16:16,493 I was snorting and smoking cocaine all day, okay? 356 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,851 And then, when I was putting my mirror and coke toot away, 357 00:16:18,953 --> 00:16:20,141 I must've gotten some on my shirt, 358 00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:22,922 and then I showed up here, you started reaming me out. 359 00:16:22,991 --> 00:16:25,458 - Todd, come on. - Look, can this wait till morning? 360 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:28,761 Okay, great. Good night. 361 00:16:29,131 --> 00:16:30,496 Mm, okay. 362 00:16:30,521 --> 00:16:32,532 Good night, Scarface. 363 00:16:34,002 --> 00:16:36,803 And then the witch ate her mother's heart 364 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,772 and understood the language of all birds. 365 00:16:39,841 --> 00:16:41,053 - She... - Look at her, 366 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,285 putting on such a brave face. 367 00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:44,205 She's obviously petrified. 368 00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:46,746 Denial isn't just a river in Phoenix. 369 00:16:46,848 --> 00:16:49,749 It's also a very real psychological state, Gail. 370 00:16:51,486 --> 00:16:53,204 I can't just stand here and watch this. 371 00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,354 - Wait. No, no. Gail. - All right, Carol, 372 00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:57,751 enough is enough. We're gonna break that water. 373 00:16:57,776 --> 00:16:59,360 - I won't take no for an answer. - Oh. 374 00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,891 So I guess you're making all the decisions now, huh, Gail? 375 00:17:01,916 --> 00:17:04,174 Well, since I am the only adult in the room, 376 00:17:04,199 --> 00:17:06,365 - I do consider it my duty. Yes, yes. - What?! 377 00:17:06,390 --> 00:17:08,334 I am 43 calendar years old! 378 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:11,037 That is two adults with a seven year old on top! 379 00:17:11,105 --> 00:17:13,698 - Hi. Uh, please leave me alone. - No. 380 00:17:13,723 --> 00:17:14,893 I can't do that, hon. 381 00:17:14,918 --> 00:17:16,878 I'm not gonna let this get to the point 382 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,542 where I have to make a decision 383 00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:21,067 about whether or not to cut you open. 384 00:17:21,092 --> 00:17:22,224 Well, neither will I. 385 00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:24,278 Okay, so you'll let me break your water? 386 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:26,012 I don't need you to break my water. 387 00:17:26,037 --> 00:17:28,429 Carol, I'm trying to include you in this, 388 00:17:28,498 --> 00:17:31,350 but if you're not up to it, I will make this decision for you. 389 00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:33,264 This is not your call to make! 390 00:17:33,289 --> 00:17:35,336 - I am her husband! - And I am her mother! 391 00:17:35,438 --> 00:17:37,805 - And I am her her. - Not now, Carol! 392 00:17:37,874 --> 00:17:40,342 Okay, look, yeah, I'm not gonna let you turn our baby 393 00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:42,566 into some kind of human pin cushion. 394 00:17:42,591 --> 00:17:44,278 And what are you proposing, Dr. Pepper? 395 00:17:44,347 --> 00:17:46,547 You still want to stick hot sauce up her holler? 396 00:17:46,616 --> 00:17:48,910 That was on a list, Gail! A list! 397 00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:51,228 Oh, my God, you're so clueless! 398 00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:52,653 Oh, how dare you! How dare you! 399 00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:55,523 How dare I. How dare I what? 400 00:17:55,591 --> 00:17:58,793 How dare I try to save the life of your wife and unborn child? 401 00:17:58,861 --> 00:18:01,495 Oh, look at you, strutting around with all the answers 402 00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:03,988 like some kind of all-the-answers peacock! 403 00:18:04,867 --> 00:18:07,134 You know what? You should get down on your bony, little knees 404 00:18:07,203 --> 00:18:08,969 - and thank the Lord above that I am here! - Oh, yeah? 405 00:18:09,038 --> 00:18:10,571 - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. - Oh, thank God for Gail! 406 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,517 - Right. - Thank God! What would I do without her? 407 00:18:12,542 --> 00:18:14,108 - That's right. You know why? - Why? 408 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,476 'Cause I'm the only shot 409 00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:17,111 you got right now, dummy. 410 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,923 - You think so? - I know so. 411 00:18:18,948 --> 00:18:19,914 You think so? 412 00:18:19,982 --> 00:18:22,149 - Yeah. - And, Carol, you ought to shut your mouth 413 00:18:22,218 --> 00:18:24,452 and open your legs and let me break that water. 414 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,253 You hear me? 415 00:18:27,335 --> 00:18:28,389 Carol? 416 00:18:29,218 --> 00:18:30,360 Carol? 417 00:18:30,897 --> 00:18:33,653 Did someone order a double cheeseburger? 418 00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:40,369 Carol... 419 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,164 I feel like I owe you an apology. 420 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,072 Mom, come meet your second granddaughter. 421 00:18:49,906 --> 00:18:52,189 - Hey, little one. - Wait. 422 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,414 In all the craziness, we never picked a name. 423 00:18:54,526 --> 00:18:56,560 Oh, I got you covered. 424 00:18:56,585 --> 00:19:00,153 You both know I'm a very gifted namer. 425 00:19:00,188 --> 00:19:03,419 And I thought of the perfect name for our daughter. 426 00:19:04,529 --> 00:19:05,857 Mike. 427 00:19:12,394 --> 00:19:15,134 Here we go. Oh. 428 00:19:18,152 --> 00:19:21,674 Hey, Mike. I'm your dad. 429 00:19:22,816 --> 00:19:26,369 You know, normally Mike is a guy's name. 430 00:19:26,394 --> 00:19:28,414 And kids might give you a little flack for it, 431 00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:32,185 but, uh, Mike was my brother's name. 432 00:19:32,636 --> 00:19:34,687 And if you knew him, 433 00:19:34,723 --> 00:19:36,823 I'm sure you wouldn't mind. 434 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:41,103 So, 435 00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:42,961 another painless birth, huh? 436 00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:46,751 Would you believe it was even easier than the first one? 437 00:19:47,114 --> 00:19:50,436 And this time, I definitely orgasmed. 438 00:19:50,817 --> 00:19:53,618 Didn't I? Didn't I? 439 00:19:55,202 --> 00:19:57,135 Date night time. Let's hit it. 440 00:19:57,426 --> 00:19:59,710 Oh, are you guys taking Dawn on your date night? 441 00:19:59,735 --> 00:20:04,077 Well, Tandy and Carol have their hands full, and you're... 442 00:20:04,921 --> 00:20:05,785 you know. 443 00:20:06,429 --> 00:20:08,162 How about Todd? 444 00:20:09,139 --> 00:20:10,189 Really? 445 00:20:10,225 --> 00:20:12,959 Yeah, unless you're planning on hitting the slopes. 446 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,460 He's been doing a lot of cocaine. 447 00:20:14,496 --> 00:20:16,239 Look, it was baby powder, guys. 448 00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:17,697 That's what people say, yeah. 449 00:20:17,732 --> 00:20:20,133 But yeah, I'd love to. I'm... 450 00:20:20,644 --> 00:20:22,577 Are you-you sure? 451 00:20:23,738 --> 00:20:25,772 - Thank you. - All right. 452 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,373 Well, that settles it. 453 00:20:27,409 --> 00:20:28,908 I'll see you guys later. 454 00:20:29,412 --> 00:20:31,840 - Thank you. - Bye, Dawn. 455 00:20:31,865 --> 00:20:33,310 Yes. 456 00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,378 Peekaboo. 457 00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:38,607 Peekaboo. 458 00:20:38,632 --> 00:20:42,522 ? Closure, closure, closure, closure, closure ? 459 00:20:42,590 --> 00:20:45,981 ? You three are the most important things in my life ? 460 00:20:46,006 --> 00:20:46,809 Yeah. 461 00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:48,628 - ? Closure, closure ? - Peekaboo! 462 00:20:48,663 --> 00:20:50,997 - ? Closure, closure, closure ? - Peekaboo! 463 00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:53,833 ? I couldn't be ? 464 00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:56,903 ? Any happier ? 465 00:20:56,938 --> 00:20:58,037 ? Fart, fart, fart ? 466 00:20:58,073 --> 00:20:59,609 ? Fart, fart, fart. ?