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Scientific rivalries

2
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are a fact of life.

3
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,395
When two competing
scientists work on a project,

4
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:09,484
it can devolve into an
intellectual boxing match.

5
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Over the years, there's been a
few classic heavyweight bouts.

6
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Newton and Leibniz.

7
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Tesla and Edison.

8
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And in a lesser-known
but equally brutal bout...

9
00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:21,845
Linkletter versus Sturgis,

10
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The Tussle with No Muscle.

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Let's see how they stack up

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in a tale of the tape.

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In the wire frame glasses,
the Eureka from Topeka,

14
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Grant Linkletter.

15
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IQ: 159.

16
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Papers published: 272.

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Bedtime: 8:30.

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And his opponent,

19
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in his favorite sensible shoes,

20
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The Brain from Maine,

21
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John Burgess Sturgis!

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IQ: 162.

23
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Papers published: 221.

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Bedtime: 7:45 on weekdays,

25
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9:00 on Saturday night.

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Fasten your thinking
caps and let's get it on.

27
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The free-streaming length
of the axion is too long.

28
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It'll erase the fluctuations.

29
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You're completely forgetting

30
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that it is nonrelativistic dark matter.

31
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You'll never have the resolution

32
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to see microkelvin features.

33
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I think your brain is as
smooth as the top of your head.

34
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Low blow, Grant.

35
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He's right, gentlemen,
let's keep it to science.

36
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You'll never have the resolution

37
00:01:31,742 --> 00:01:33,743
to see microkelvin features.

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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

39
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I cannot work with that creepy
little know-it-all one more day.

40
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I-I'm sorry, but are we talking
about Sheldon or Sturgis?

41
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Sturgis. Well, both, but mostly Sturgis.

42
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He's not interested
in anyone else's input.

43
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I-I'm sorry, Sheldon or Linkletter?

44
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Linkletter.

45
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Ah, got it. Continue.

46
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Well?

47
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But I thought you wanted

48
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Dr. Sturgis on this project.

49
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I'll admit John has been useful, but now

50
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he's just slowing us down.

51
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Well, he keeps Sheldon happy,

52
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and when Sheldon's happy,
he's not in this office.

53
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Well, but when he's not in
your office, he's in my office.

54
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Eh, "dem's da breaks."

55
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I was brought in to help

56
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but Dr. Linkletter
doesn't value my input.

57
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Oh, I hear you. That must be tough.

58
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Ever since he was brought back,
he contradicts everything I say.

59
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I hear you. That must be tough.

60
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There was a time when
their arguing brought out

61
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the best in them, but now
it's just hindering our work.

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I hear you. That must be tough.

63
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Thank you for understanding.

64
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And between us,

65
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I am counting on you being in charge.

66
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Excellent.

67
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You're the alpha dog on this project.

68
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Very good.

69
00:03:03,921 --> 00:03:06,445
But shouldn't we tell everyone?

70
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Oh, no, no, no, no. I can't
be seen as playing favorites.

71
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:13,495
But what's important is
that I know and you know.

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Smart.

73
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But not as smart as you.

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Oh.

75
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Which is why, uh, just between us,

76
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I am counting on you to
keep the train on the tracks.

77
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Well, I appreciate
the vote of confidence.

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- And the sweet train metaphor.
- Well, good.

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You know, I just want you to be happy.

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I guess in a way I'm kind of
like the son you never had.

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Sure.

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Which is nice, because
you're far too old

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to have children now.

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And you make me feel okay about that.

85
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Wait.

86
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$20 on pump four, please.

87
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You got it.

88
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Here you go.

89
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What's this?

90
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Promotion for the new lottery.

91
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Every ten gallons, you
get a free scratcher.

92
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Oh, I don't believe in gambling.

93
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Great, I'll take it.

94
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Oh, I don't believe

95
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you should be gambling, either.

96
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So, you don't want it?

97
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- No.
- Then I'm scratching it.

98
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Sorry. Not on my watch.

99
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You can thank me in heaven.

100
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What's this formula?

101
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This wasn't here yesterday.

102
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Dr. Linkletter added it after you left.

103
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Was he trying to be funny?

104
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He was giggling at your
"feebleminded math."

105
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His words.

106
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He's trying to approximate

107
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the cosmic background
radiation by setting it

108
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at one Rydberg over Z,
and mymath is feebleminded?

109
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What do you think you're doing?

110
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I'm changing the estimate

111
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:45,817
to Robert Dicke's value of 45 kelvin.

112
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I wasn't here the last
time he went off his rocker.

113
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Is this what it looked like?

114
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I'm perfectly sane, and I'm telling you,

115
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Dicke's estimate is the way to go.

116
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And I'm telling you we need to use

117
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one Rydberg over Z, and that is final.

118
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Oh, is it, you albino beanpole?

119
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Dr. Sturgis.

120
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He impugned my mental stability.

121
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Fair enough. Your insult stands.

122
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Thank you. Beanpole.

123
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Ooh.

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Oh, man.

125
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God, I swear I'll never ask

126
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for anything again, just one more 500.

127
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Thank you.

128
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Melissa Cooper, what
are you doing with that?

129
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I found it.

130
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Well, it is mine, and I
threw it away for a reason.

131
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It's mine now, and I
might win 500 bucks.

132
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Oh, no, you won't.

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- I'll split it with you.
- No.

134
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Why are you being so lame?

135
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Because money does not buy happiness.

136
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Fresh Prince seems pretty happy.

137
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It is not his money,
it's his Uncle Phil's!

138
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Half of that's mine. I prayed for it.

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Go to your room.

140
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You're wasting valuable time.

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I'm not, you are.

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Gentlemen, if we could please keep

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this train on the tracks...

144
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We'll be on track if we follow my plan,

145
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so I'm afraid I'm
going to have to insist.

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Insist?

147
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You're not the alpha dog around here.

148
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I agree.

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This may be hard for both of you

150
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to hear, but President
Hagemeyer put me in charge.

151
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I know for a fact that isn't true,

152
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because she put me in charge.

153
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We may have a problem.

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What can I say?

155
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I tried something.

156
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So you really thought

157
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you could tell us we were all in charge

158
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and we wouldn't figure it out?

159
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Well, in my defense,
I said to each of you,

160
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"Let's keep this between us."

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I'm a little disappointed
that you broke my trust.

162
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That is true. We're sorry.

163
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Don't apologize for that.
We were being manipulated.

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You were the one who blabbed first.

165
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That's because you kept slowing us down

166
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with your outmoded ideas.

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Gentlemen, if we could
just follow my plan...

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- No.
- No.

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Well, I hope that you're starting

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to see the challenge I faced
putting any of you in charge.

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You're right, we're sorry.

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- Stop that.
- Sorry.

173
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Well, we can't move forward

174
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until a project leader is chosen.

175
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He's right, I'll do it.

176
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- You're a child.
- You're a child.

177
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Oh, you're all children.

178
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Sorry. Sorry.

179
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Well, who's it gonna be?

180
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Gentlemen, I'm Dr. Carol Lee,

181
00:07:49,154 --> 00:07:52,285
director of the new
experimental cosmology center.

182
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What makes you qualified
to lead our project?

183
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:56,387
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

184
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Well, I have a PhD in
physics from Berkeley,

185
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I worked at IBM's Watson Research Center

186
00:08:02,093 --> 00:08:04,494
as lead of the materials research group,

187
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and I raised three little boys,

188
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which I understand

189
00:08:07,607 --> 00:08:09,261
you've been acting like.

190
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Sounds like she can handle it.

191
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Dear Lord, please forgive me.

192
00:08:15,279 --> 00:08:17,060
I shouldn't have
finished that scratcher.

193
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,890
That was wrong.

194
00:08:18,893 --> 00:08:24,245
But now that I have the money,
my family could really use it.

195
00:08:24,248 --> 00:08:27,030
I know. Gambling is a sin.

196
00:08:27,033 --> 00:08:30,035
Although, I didn't buy the scratcher,

197
00:08:30,038 --> 00:08:32,237
so is that even gambling?

198
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,198
Why is Missy saying we're rich?

199
00:08:35,746 --> 00:08:39,747
I suggest we mount a
radio telescope on the roof

200
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,065
so that we can get a good read

201
00:08:41,068 --> 00:08:43,158
on the fluctuations in radiation.

202
00:08:43,161 --> 00:08:44,518
Excellent.

203
00:08:44,521 --> 00:08:47,304
We'll pick a small region
of the sky and drill down.

204
00:08:47,307 --> 00:08:49,416
Whoa, whoa, pump your brakes.

205
00:08:49,419 --> 00:08:52,510
We need at least a
45-square-degree sector

206
00:08:52,513 --> 00:08:55,401
of the sky in order to take
any meaningful readings.

207
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:57,144
That's ridiculous. What
we need to do is cut

208
00:08:57,147 --> 00:08:59,407
a single linear section
across the horizon.

209
00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:01,666
No, if we don't focus, we
won't get any useful data.

210
00:09:01,669 --> 00:09:04,054
I suggest 20 arc minutes max.

211
00:09:04,057 --> 00:09:06,002
The trick is to pick a good spot.

212
00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:08,783
You want a trick? Go
see David Copperfield.

213
00:09:08,786 --> 00:09:10,338
How about I make youdisappear?

214
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:13,385
Do I need to separate you?

215
00:09:13,388 --> 00:09:16,987
Or can we try to put our minds together

216
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,642
for the advancement of science?

217
00:09:19,645 --> 00:09:22,104
The second one.

218
00:09:22,107 --> 00:09:24,791
I know you're new here,
ma'am, but this is our process.

219
00:09:24,794 --> 00:09:26,707
They argue, I swoop in and save the day.

220
00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:28,711
It may seem unorthodox
to you, however...

221
00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:32,351
The-the second one.

222
00:09:32,966 --> 00:09:35,487
I'm gonna tell you right
now, we can't keep it.

223
00:09:36,357 --> 00:09:39,291
It's not a puppy, Mary, it's 500 bucks.

224
00:09:39,294 --> 00:09:40,686
It is gambling.

225
00:09:40,689 --> 00:09:42,112
Then why'd you buy the ticket?

226
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:45,537
I didn't buy it. They gave
it to me at the gas station.

227
00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:48,934
Okay, well, that sounds
like a gift from God.

228
00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:50,190
You don't want to make Him mad.

229
00:09:50,193 --> 00:09:52,299
That is not how God works, George.

230
00:09:52,302 --> 00:09:55,286
What if he wanted you to
have it to give to the Church?

231
00:09:55,289 --> 00:09:56,604
Well...

232
00:09:56,607 --> 00:09:59,086
Well, uh, based on that, what
if he wanted you to have it

233
00:09:59,089 --> 00:10:00,963
- so we could buy stuff?
- George.

234
00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:03,924
All I'm saying is, we work
hard, we're good people.

235
00:10:03,927 --> 00:10:05,674
Maybe we deserve this.

236
00:10:08,894 --> 00:10:10,982
I guess a dishwasher might be nice.

237
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,385
There you go. Get a dishwasher.

238
00:10:13,388 --> 00:10:15,338
I don't know. I'll think about it.

239
00:10:15,341 --> 00:10:18,416
What's to think about?
Have some fun for once.

240
00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:20,376
Ooh, we getting something
fun with the money?

241
00:10:20,379 --> 00:10:21,921
We're talking about a dishwasher.

242
00:10:21,924 --> 00:10:24,324
When did your dreams die?

243
00:10:24,327 --> 00:10:26,510
- When we had kids.
- George.

244
00:10:26,513 --> 00:10:30,393
I was carrying pulsers 75 feet up

245
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,658
a wet metal ladder

246
00:10:32,661 --> 00:10:34,096
when there was an earthquake.

247
00:10:34,099 --> 00:10:37,589
So, I am hanging on for dear life...

248
00:10:37,592 --> 00:10:40,333
Ooh, we should set up
several radio telescopes

249
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,597
on different rooftops in an array.

250
00:10:43,205 --> 00:10:45,597
_

251
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,211
You speak Mandarin.

252
00:10:47,823 --> 00:10:49,082
_

253
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,207
_

254
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:52,416
_

255
00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:56,521
_

256
00:10:56,524 --> 00:10:58,705
I heard my name. What are they saying?

257
00:10:58,708 --> 00:11:01,180
I don't speak Mandarin.
Just a little French.

258
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:02,923
Oh, really?

259
00:11:03,612 --> 00:11:06,618
_

260
00:11:06,621 --> 00:11:07,757
Ha!

261
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,144
_

262
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:14,421
Well, does anyone here speak Klingon?

263
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,783
_

264
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,421
- Dr. Lee?
- Sheldon.

265
00:11:26,423 --> 00:11:28,206
May I have a moment of your time?

266
00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:30,165
Of course, come in.

267
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:31,906
Sit.

268
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:34,169
How can I help you?

269
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:37,477
I feel like my contributions
aren't being taken seriously.

270
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:40,653
Oh, well, I'm sorry you feel that way,

271
00:11:40,655 --> 00:11:43,679
but I'm listening to
everyone's contributions.

272
00:11:43,682 --> 00:11:45,696
But you're not taking any of mine.

273
00:11:45,699 --> 00:11:48,614
No. But Drs. Linkletter and Sturgis

274
00:11:48,617 --> 00:11:50,836
seem happy with the
direction we're headed.

275
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,232
Well, I think it's because

276
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:56,190
you're using your feminine wiles.

277
00:11:56,192 --> 00:11:58,890
And what exactly do
you think that means?

278
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,804
I'm not sure, but you
are wearing lip gloss

279
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,573
and seem to have good hygiene.

280
00:12:02,576 --> 00:12:05,820
And if you're trying to use them
on me, it's not going to work.

281
00:12:05,823 --> 00:12:08,215
Sheldon, I assure you

282
00:12:08,218 --> 00:12:09,376
that I'm just trying to do

283
00:12:09,379 --> 00:12:10,597
what's best for the project.

284
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,425
Excellent, then you'll want to set up

285
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,209
several telescopes in an array.

286
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:17,211
I hear you, but... ghobe'.

287
00:12:17,213 --> 00:12:20,475
Wait, that's "no" in
Klingon. Do you speak Klingon?

288
00:12:20,477 --> 00:12:21,955
I looked up that one word.

289
00:12:21,957 --> 00:12:24,959
I had a feeling it would come in handy.

290
00:12:29,356 --> 00:12:32,401
Ooh, look at the Ultra-Clean Two.

291
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:34,323
It's got five washing cycles.

292
00:12:34,326 --> 00:12:37,276
I don't know, George,
these are really expensive.

293
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:40,540
You won the money. Spend it.

294
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:43,780
Maybe we should just get
a more affordable one.

295
00:12:43,783 --> 00:12:47,373
Everything we do is affordable.
Uh... splurge for once.

296
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,113
It's so extravagant.

297
00:12:49,115 --> 00:12:50,648
You'd think we were talking about

298
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:51,780
buying a party boat.

299
00:12:51,783 --> 00:12:54,031
It's a dishwasher, for crying out loud.

300
00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:57,913
But the way we got the money,
it just doesn't feel right.

301
00:12:57,916 --> 00:13:00,124
So you're telling me you're never okay

302
00:13:00,126 --> 00:13:01,908
with bending the rules once in a while?

303
00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:04,479
That's not how being a Christian works.

304
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,221
Good to know.

305
00:13:09,085 --> 00:13:10,214
What are you doing?

306
00:13:10,217 --> 00:13:12,307
Oh, just helping you
be a good Christian.

307
00:13:16,403 --> 00:13:18,882
Dr. Lee had commandeered the project,

308
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:21,648
and Drs. Linkletter and
Sturgis were okay with it.

309
00:13:21,651 --> 00:13:24,671
Everyone was being mean,
and I was out of my depth.

310
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:27,526
I needed advice on how to proceed.

311
00:13:27,529 --> 00:13:29,652
Thankfully, I was mere feet away

312
00:13:29,655 --> 00:13:31,394
from the person who had been mean to me

313
00:13:31,397 --> 00:13:33,945
since she tried strangling
me with her umbilical cord.

314
00:13:33,948 --> 00:13:35,334
What?

315
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:38,098
So, this Dr. Lee is turning
your friends against you?

316
00:13:38,101 --> 00:13:39,405
Essentially.

317
00:13:39,408 --> 00:13:40,686
Classic move.

318
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,765
Most girls you find crying
in the school bathroom,

319
00:13:42,768 --> 00:13:43,780
that was it.

320
00:13:43,783 --> 00:13:44,803
What do I do?

321
00:13:44,806 --> 00:13:46,241
Well, you're in a tough spot

322
00:13:46,244 --> 00:13:48,390
'cause your personality is ugh.

323
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:50,218
There's enough people
being mean to me right now.

324
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,219
Sorry.

325
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:52,568
Can you help me or not?

326
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:55,006
It's you against a bunch
of college professors.

327
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,924
I don't think you can win this one.

328
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,741
Oh. Do any of them have pimples?

329
00:14:01,744 --> 00:14:03,013
No.

330
00:14:03,015 --> 00:14:05,846
Too bad, I've done a lot
of damage with "pizza face."

331
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:09,194
He just took the ticket

332
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,629
and stormed off.

333
00:14:10,631 --> 00:14:13,198
I don't know why he cares
so much about a dishwasher.

334
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,366
Maybe it ain't about the dishwasher.

335
00:14:15,369 --> 00:14:16,940
Well, what is it, then?

336
00:14:16,942 --> 00:14:19,226
Mary, I love you, but
sometimes it's kind of like

337
00:14:19,229 --> 00:14:21,929
you're waging a war on fun.

338
00:14:21,932 --> 00:14:24,949
Why? Because I have values?

339
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,538
Well, too bad because
they're not going away.

340
00:14:27,541 --> 00:14:30,030
Oh, and fun is down for the count.

341
00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:32,295
500 bucks?

342
00:14:32,298 --> 00:14:34,382
I guess drinks are on you.

343
00:14:34,385 --> 00:14:37,352
Fine, but is that all
you got from my story?

344
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,847
It's called lightening the mood, George.

345
00:14:39,850 --> 00:14:41,806
Sorry.

346
00:14:41,809 --> 00:14:44,116
But I do think you're overreacting.

347
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,448
Come on.

348
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,351
I... Would it kill her to
loosen up once in a while?

349
00:14:49,354 --> 00:14:51,572
Maybe that's just not who she is.

350
00:14:51,575 --> 00:14:54,717
What if it is, just not with me?

351
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:56,068
Well, what does that mean?

352
00:14:57,466 --> 00:14:59,562
The other night I drove by the church

353
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,651
and I saw Mary and that new youth pastor

354
00:15:01,654 --> 00:15:04,679
just hanging out on the curb,
laughing and smoking cigarettes.

355
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,426
Yeah? And?

356
00:15:08,428 --> 00:15:09,949
Well, that's not enough?

357
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,213
Well, is smoking even a sin?

358
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,979
'Cause I still light up
after a roll in the hay.

359
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:19,438
The point is, she's capable
of being fun, just...

360
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,222
not with me.

361
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:23,979
It's not like I don't want to be fun,

362
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:25,049
but I feel like

363
00:15:25,052 --> 00:15:27,557
I am the only one holding
the family together.

364
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,916
Mary, can I point out that
you weren't exactly like this

365
00:15:30,919 --> 00:15:32,538
when y'all got married?

366
00:15:32,541 --> 00:15:34,540
So? I'm not allowed to grow?

367
00:15:34,543 --> 00:15:37,067
Apart? Okay.

368
00:15:38,435 --> 00:15:40,328
What made you and your
wife call it quits?

369
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,982
George, let me tell you something.

370
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,244
Getting divorced sucks.

371
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:46,291
- I know.
- You don't.

372
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:49,199
If you think you're upset
about a $500 scratcher,

373
00:15:49,202 --> 00:15:52,336
try sitting home alone
with half your money gone.

374
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,866
I thought you were gonna say something

375
00:15:54,869 --> 00:15:56,041
about love and vows.

376
00:15:56,044 --> 00:15:57,769
Half, George.

377
00:15:57,772 --> 00:15:59,643
And it wasn't a lot when it was a whole.

378
00:15:59,646 --> 00:16:01,219
I said I'd buy your drinks.

379
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,482
Well, thank you.

380
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:04,962
Wings wouldn't hurt, either.

381
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,635
My sister thought I was in

382
00:16:06,638 --> 00:16:08,072
an unwinnable situation,

383
00:16:08,075 --> 00:16:09,682
but I knew someone else who faced

384
00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:14,002
a no-win scenario and prevailed:
one James Tiberius Kirk.

385
00:16:14,005 --> 00:16:16,162
The Kobayashi Maru was a simulation

386
00:16:16,165 --> 00:16:18,993
designed to be unbeatable,
but Kirk snuck in

387
00:16:18,996 --> 00:16:20,854
and reprogrammed it so he could win.

388
00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:23,763
All I needed to do was
put my scanning coordinates

389
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:27,072
into Dr. Lee's radio telescope
to prove I was correct.

390
00:16:27,075 --> 00:16:29,336
It was time for my sneaky face.

391
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:36,462
Hey.

392
00:16:36,465 --> 00:16:37,858
Hi.

393
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:40,760
This is yours.

394
00:16:40,763 --> 00:16:42,721
And if you don't feel right spending it,

395
00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:44,897
then you should do
whatever you want with it.

396
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,946
Thank you.

397
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:54,299
You know, I've been thinking that

398
00:16:54,302 --> 00:16:55,489
maybe it isn't

399
00:16:55,491 --> 00:16:59,119
the end of the world if we
spend it on something fun.

400
00:16:59,122 --> 00:17:00,490
Really?

401
00:17:00,493 --> 00:17:03,447
Yeah, something the family could enjoy.

402
00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:05,021
Well...

403
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,237
we haven't been on
vacation in a long time.

404
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,415
Oh...

405
00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:10,294
Oh.

406
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:13,582
We could go to Houston,
see the Ice Capades.

407
00:17:13,585 --> 00:17:14,846
Let's keep thinking.

408
00:17:16,732 --> 00:17:19,905
The next evening, I put my plan into action.

409
00:17:19,907 --> 00:17:21,971
I was just like Captain Kirk,

410
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:24,791
if Captain Kirk had to
bum a ride from his meemaw.

411
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,721
All I needed to do was
get into Dr. Lee's office

412
00:17:27,724 --> 00:17:29,263
and swap the coordinates.

413
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:30,544
Nothing could stop me.

414
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:34,573
Dang it.

415
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,529
Well, here's to male egos

416
00:17:36,532 --> 00:17:38,359
and all the fun that comes with them.

417
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,842
You've had to deal with that a lot, huh?

418
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,844
The first month I was
here, people kept assuming

419
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:47,128
I was the president's secretary.

420
00:17:47,131 --> 00:17:49,112
Did you correct them?

421
00:17:49,115 --> 00:17:51,851
No, I just told them that
the president was too busy

422
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:54,287
to see them and then
I cut their funding.

423
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:56,638
That must have felt good.

424
00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:00,127
Ah, it was like taking off my
bra at the end of a long day.

425
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:02,556
- Mm-hmm.
- But I don't have to tell you.

426
00:18:02,558 --> 00:18:06,257
Can you believe there were
only three women in my major?

427
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:07,979
Oh, at least you had each other.

428
00:18:07,982 --> 00:18:09,824
Those bitches? Pass.

429
00:18:09,826 --> 00:18:11,652
What about the guys?

430
00:18:11,654 --> 00:18:13,393
Either too scared to talk to me

431
00:18:13,395 --> 00:18:15,526
or trying to talk me
into being horizontal.

432
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,746
- Oh, yeah, I hear that. Mm-hmm.
- Mm.

433
00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:21,033
I've even had projects sabotaged
just to make me look bad.

434
00:18:21,036 --> 00:18:22,752
- You're kidding.
- Nope.

435
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,221
Well, what did you do?

436
00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:41,041
Well, eventually I realized,

437
00:18:41,044 --> 00:18:43,468
I'm an experimental physicist.

438
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:46,862
I can build anything I
want to protect my work.

439
00:18:52,695 --> 00:18:54,696
And thanks to my kids,

440
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:58,699
I am very familiar with
the movie Home Alone.

441
00:19:01,269 --> 00:19:03,979
After a lot of apologizing, a little begging

442
00:19:03,982 --> 00:19:05,402
and a note from my mother,

443
00:19:05,404 --> 00:19:08,021
I was allowed to keep
my role on the team.

444
00:19:08,024 --> 00:19:10,377
When Captain Kirk faced
the no-win scenario,

445
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,330
he didn't have blue and
yellow snot for a week.

446
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:14,669
Ew.

447
00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:22,375
Sounds like the ocean.

448
00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:23,756
Oh, it is very relaxing.

449
00:19:23,759 --> 00:19:24,932
Kind of makes

450
00:19:24,935 --> 00:19:26,815
the rest of the kitchen look trashy.

451
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,205
Ooh, it has a temperature boost sensor.

452
00:19:29,208 --> 00:19:30,296
What's that?

453
00:19:30,298 --> 00:19:31,819
It makes sure the water is heated

454
00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:33,648
to the correct temperature
for ideal cleaning

455
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,650
- and drying results.
- Ooh.

456
00:19:36,913 --> 00:19:38,044
Where are you going?

457
00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:39,785
You're gonna miss the rinse cycle.

458
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,265
I'm not missing anything.

459
00:19:42,921 --> 00:19:45,427
Oh, it beeped. Look up "beep."

460
00:19:45,430 --> 00:19:51,115
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