1
00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,117
Previously on "Resident Alien"...

2
00:00:03,122 --> 00:00:04,907
How could I not remember?

3
00:00:04,912 --> 00:00:06,784
When people experience a loss of time,

4
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,009
it's often because they've
been abducted by aliens.

5
00:00:09,014 --> 00:00:10,031
I'm an alien.

6
00:00:10,036 --> 00:00:12,442
We are very good at
changing people's memories.

7
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:16,049
FBI. The murderer is
not Harry Vanderspeigle.

8
00:00:16,054 --> 00:00:17,769
Guess what... you're not
getting your ball back.

9
00:00:17,773 --> 00:00:19,976
I've hidden it where
you'll never find it.

10
00:00:19,981 --> 00:00:21,510
Abigail Hodges, you're under arrest

11
00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:22,925
for the murder of Sam Hodges.

12
00:00:22,930 --> 00:00:25,063
I have built a radio.

13
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,504
The signal will tell my people

14
00:00:26,509 --> 00:00:28,367
not to come and kill everyone...

15
00:00:29,757 --> 00:00:31,200
for 50 years.

16
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:33,421
- We need to stop it!
- No!

17
00:00:34,649 --> 00:00:36,292
It's receiving a signal.

18
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:39,817
It's a phone number from New York City.

19
00:00:39,861 --> 00:00:41,732
Sunny went into labor all of a sudden.

20
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,695
- I can fix it.
- Let the doctor do his job.

21
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,640
I've held a lot of babies
since Jay was born.

22
00:00:47,645 --> 00:00:51,531
I understand now why you feel guilty.

23
00:00:56,781 --> 00:01:00,054
_

24
00:01:04,603 --> 00:01:05,644
Go after him.

25
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,413
Flush him out. I'll meet
you on the other side.

26
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:08,549
I got it.

27
00:01:08,554 --> 00:01:10,296
Police, drop the weapon!

28
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,724
Shit.

29
00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:15,151
Dispatch, this is unit
92. I got shots fired.

30
00:01:15,156 --> 00:01:16,723
Need backup at my location.

31
00:01:16,914 --> 00:01:19,166
- Jesse! Jesse!
- Copy that.

32
00:01:19,171 --> 00:01:20,607
Backup en route.

33
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,179
Jesse?

34
00:01:23,687 --> 00:01:25,036
Jesse?

35
00:01:30,249 --> 00:01:32,179
I got an officer down.

36
00:01:40,148 --> 00:01:41,601
Mike.

37
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,671
Come on, man, I know you're in there.

38
00:01:52,187 --> 00:01:54,359
Bill, I can't do that, man.

39
00:01:54,544 --> 00:01:58,113
Mike, you're the only one he
would have trusted with him.

40
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:10,597
You take care of yourself, okay?

41
00:02:10,602 --> 00:02:12,996
Thanks. Thanks, man.

42
00:02:17,952 --> 00:02:20,178
I miss him, too, Cletus.

43
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:23,837
Welcome to your new home.

44
00:02:31,758 --> 00:02:34,758
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

45
00:02:35,046 --> 00:02:37,916
1,900 miles...

46
00:02:37,921 --> 00:02:40,551
That's how close I am to New York City,

47
00:02:40,634 --> 00:02:42,460
to one of my people.

48
00:02:42,465 --> 00:02:45,710
1,900 miles from standing
in front of a being

49
00:02:45,715 --> 00:02:47,510
who knows what I know...

50
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:50,780
who has stood in the ice
wind desert as a child.

51
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,976
I am different now.

52
00:02:52,981 --> 00:02:54,827
Asta knows this version of me,

53
00:02:54,832 --> 00:02:58,184
but I am 1,900 miles
from being with someone

54
00:02:58,189 --> 00:03:00,583
who knows the alien part of me...

55
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:02,765
The real me.

56
00:03:03,396 --> 00:03:05,140
_

57
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:08,405
So why can I not dial this number?

58
00:03:29,836 --> 00:03:31,794
- Hey.
- Oh.

59
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,295
Hey.

60
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,782
It was nice to talk to you last night.

61
00:03:39,431 --> 00:03:41,511
Kind of felt like old times again.

62
00:03:41,516 --> 00:03:43,344
- What?
- Oh.

63
00:03:43,435 --> 00:03:45,132
W-what... what are you upset about?

64
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,488
Nothing happened. All we
did was talk about Jay.

65
00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:49,495
- Yeah, I know.
- Asta.

66
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:52,136
- I shouldn't have come here.
- I did...

67
00:03:53,372 --> 00:03:56,796
- Please, you don't have to go.
- Yes, I do.

68
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:11,294
Nice seeing you at Laurant's last night.

69
00:04:11,604 --> 00:04:13,839
Mm, mm.

70
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,655
I saw you left pretty quickly.

71
00:04:26,479 --> 00:04:27,958
You know, if there's ever anything

72
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,660
you want to talk about,
like, no big deal,

73
00:04:29,665 --> 00:04:31,710
but you can talk to me.

74
00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:36,042
Thank you, Deputy.

75
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,235
Now that you mention it,

76
00:04:39,317 --> 00:04:41,406
I'd like to know what
you've been scribbling down

77
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,760
in your little notebook there.

78
00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:45,376
You doing another solo investigation?

79
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,620
Do you remember my dress you
picked up from the cleaners?

80
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:51,955
The one I don't remember dropping off?

81
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,136
And what dress you talking about?

82
00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:54,246
You talking about that green dress,

83
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,019
or you talking about that
dress you talk about every day

84
00:04:56,023 --> 00:04:57,995
like it's some kind of
government conspiracy?

85
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,904
You have to admit it's weird.

86
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:03,912
Basically the whole day is a blank.

87
00:05:03,917 --> 00:05:05,528
- Do you remember it?
- I mean, no.

88
00:05:05,533 --> 00:05:07,264
But I can't remember what I
had for breakfast this morning.

89
00:05:07,268 --> 00:05:09,331
You know, ask me what
color socks I'm wearing.

90
00:05:09,336 --> 00:05:11,677
What color socks are you wearing?

91
00:05:11,682 --> 00:05:13,282
Well, actually, I'm wearing black socks

92
00:05:13,287 --> 00:05:14,875
'cause that's all I own...
is black socks.

93
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,486
But if I did own socks
that was a different color,

94
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,183
I wouldn't remember
what color I was wearing.

95
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,358
You know why? It don't matter.

96
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,682
Sir, you might want to look at this.

97
00:05:23,709 --> 00:05:26,538
What the hell she doing?
That's Miss Taylor bike.

98
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:29,073
Oh, shit. Hell, no. Hell, no!

99
00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:33,154
Hey, get off that bike!
Get off that damn bike!

100
00:05:33,159 --> 00:05:34,504
- That ain't your bike.
- Come on, Sheriff!

101
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,526
Hey, I can outrun that bike!

102
00:05:38,526 --> 00:05:40,135
Ellen?

103
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,862
Hey, Ellen, can you cover for me?

104
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,433
I got to take care of something.

105
00:05:46,438 --> 00:05:48,038
- Sure.
- Okay. Thanks.

106
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:49,378
I won't be long.

107
00:05:56,044 --> 00:05:57,347
Close call.

108
00:05:57,352 --> 00:05:58,701
Almost as close as you were

109
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,917
to getting your eye poked out by a tree.

110
00:06:00,922 --> 00:06:04,708
In my defense, I had just
had dinner with my parents.

111
00:06:04,924 --> 00:06:07,492
Also, that tree was
waving pretty wildly.

112
00:06:08,009 --> 00:06:10,408
Listen, as a medical professional,

113
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:13,024
I suggest you drink a little less.

114
00:06:13,107 --> 00:06:17,067
But as a single bitch
living in this dead-ass town,

115
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:19,944
I suggest you invite me out next time.

116
00:06:20,027 --> 00:06:21,550
Wow.

117
00:06:21,703 --> 00:06:22,878
All right.

118
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:25,292
- Yeah, there's more of that.
- Okay.

119
00:06:29,862 --> 00:06:32,691
What do you mean you got a
phone number from an alien?

120
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,785
Why didn't you tell me
sooner? What did they say?

121
00:06:34,868 --> 00:06:38,262
Well, I did not call.
It might be a trap.

122
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,008
It's not a trap.

123
00:06:40,089 --> 00:06:41,787
If you worried more about traps,

124
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,925
then you would still be in the ocean

125
00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:47,706
instead of in a box of water
in the mountains.

126
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,974
Does this thing have to
keep popping into my head?

127
00:06:49,979 --> 00:06:51,415
You think I like it in there?

128
00:06:51,420 --> 00:06:53,404
It's darker than the woods
in a Tim Burton movie.

129
00:06:53,409 --> 00:06:55,106
You shut the hell up
about what's in my head

130
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,275
and stop putting the TV
on in front of this thing.

131
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,628
He's not calling

132
00:06:58,633 --> 00:07:01,595
because he's afraid his
people will reject him.

133
00:07:01,677 --> 00:07:03,287
He's worried he's too human.

134
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,772
That is a lie!

135
00:07:04,854 --> 00:07:07,944
- Liars do not get food.
- I'm kidding.

136
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,558
Can't you take a joke?
It's obviously a trap.

137
00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:11,214
Good octopus.

138
00:07:11,784 --> 00:07:13,689
Okay. We don't have any other leads.

139
00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:16,348
And if we don't do anything,
everyone is going to die.

140
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,051
So, if you don't call
that phone number, I will.

141
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,570
Fine.

142
00:07:22,065 --> 00:07:23,747
Okay.

143
00:07:24,156 --> 00:07:25,580
Mm.

144
00:07:26,844 --> 00:07:29,534
Hello. Can I talk to the alien, please?

145
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:32,140
Mm.

146
00:07:32,991 --> 00:07:34,549
He hung up.

147
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,589
He knows my mother.

148
00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:38,871
And they had intercourse.

149
00:07:40,759 --> 00:07:43,109
Demelio's Pizzeria, East Third Street.

150
00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,508
Pack your bags. We're going to New York.

151
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:48,637
I cannot go to New York.
The octopus is right.

152
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:51,086
I have changed. I am too human.

153
00:07:51,091 --> 00:07:52,815
What if the alien will not help me?

154
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,735
I heard that. He just admitted it.

155
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,819
Get out of my head.

156
00:08:02,129 --> 00:08:04,348
Well, answer it. It might be them.

157
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,221
Hello?

158
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,446
Morning, Doc. It's the Sheriff.

159
00:08:16,391 --> 00:08:17,609
Hi, Dad.

160
00:08:25,079 --> 00:08:27,739
This is weird... She looks like me,

161
00:08:27,744 --> 00:08:30,722
if I fell face-first
into a pile of metal.

162
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:31,942
At first, I thought she was just

163
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,600
some hippie drifter from Boulder,

164
00:08:33,605 --> 00:08:36,739
but, uh, then she showed
me this right here.

165
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,436
I remember this.

166
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,791
This was the day she sat on my knee,

167
00:08:46,796 --> 00:08:48,362
and we looked at the camera,

168
00:08:48,367 --> 00:08:50,046
and that person took our photograph.

169
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:52,884
Yes, the daughter you've
been telling me so much about,

170
00:08:52,889 --> 00:08:55,051
from your first wife before Isabelle,

171
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,056
and her name is...

172
00:08:57,061 --> 00:08:59,324
right on the tip of my tongue.

173
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,090
Um, I think she said Liza.

174
00:09:05,095 --> 00:09:07,242
Liza is her name.

175
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,699
- Liza is her name.
- Mm-hmm.

176
00:09:09,704 --> 00:09:11,507
I'm very fertile.

177
00:09:11,954 --> 00:09:14,917
This is my sweet little girl.

178
00:09:15,407 --> 00:09:16,870
Well, we caught your sweet little girl

179
00:09:16,874 --> 00:09:18,049
trying to steal a bike.

180
00:09:18,054 --> 00:09:19,447
It turns out she's got a record

181
00:09:19,452 --> 00:09:21,686
for shoplifting in, uh, New Mexico.

182
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,433
Her mama sent her to
a camp for troubled teens,

183
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,615
but she ran away 'cause she's troubled.

184
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:29,231
She also pulled my hair.

185
00:09:29,358 --> 00:09:32,371
It didn't hurt, though.
I have strong roots.

186
00:09:32,376 --> 00:09:33,748
Are you even aware of what's going on

187
00:09:33,752 --> 00:09:35,403
- with your daughter, Doc?
- Yes.

188
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:39,361
Thank you for arresting her
and throwing her in jail.

189
00:09:39,366 --> 00:09:41,615
Well, hold on... I don't think
there's any need for that,

190
00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:42,869
at least not yet.

191
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,035
I'm all right with releasing
her into your custody.

192
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,572
No, you throw her in jail.

193
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,264
He's joking.

194
00:09:51,269 --> 00:09:53,228
He'll take her home.

195
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,330
Is this how humans feel
when they have a child...

196
00:09:57,335 --> 00:10:01,470
Angry and resentful for having
to care for a tiny thing?

197
00:10:01,552 --> 00:10:03,418
If she were a pet bird,

198
00:10:03,423 --> 00:10:05,648
I would leave the cage door open

199
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,993
and the ceiling fan on.

200
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:12,089
So, Liza, boot camp, huh?
Why were you sent there?

201
00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:14,270
- Murder.
- Cool.

202
00:10:14,391 --> 00:10:16,504
Maybe we should call your mom,
have her come pick you up.

203
00:10:16,508 --> 00:10:18,569
Good luck... My mom
is in Italy right now,

204
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,526
getting fingered on a Vespa.

205
00:10:20,741 --> 00:10:22,260
Good talk.

206
00:10:22,432 --> 00:10:26,059
It's a bad... it's a bad talk.
That was bad.

207
00:10:26,829 --> 00:10:29,353
Why are you acting so weird?

208
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,583
Wait, are you high?

209
00:10:32,778 --> 00:10:34,503
Yes.

210
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:37,245
Yes, he is. Ugh.

211
00:10:37,327 --> 00:10:39,442
It's legal in Colorado.

212
00:10:39,447 --> 00:10:42,129
Do not bum my stone, man.

213
00:10:42,372 --> 00:10:44,287
Go home to your mother.

214
00:10:44,331 --> 00:10:46,598
Asta will take you to the airport.

215
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,691
That was quick.

216
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,079
You usually at least pretend

217
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,340
for a few days before
you tell me to leave.

218
00:10:52,345 --> 00:10:55,127
I'll make it real easy
for you. Have a nice life.

219
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,012
Okay, I will.

220
00:10:58,209 --> 00:11:00,690
Where is the bacon lady?

221
00:11:00,695 --> 00:11:03,137
- You can't just let her leave.
- Mm?

222
00:11:03,142 --> 00:11:04,528
She wants to go.

223
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:07,559
She wants her father.
We have to help her.

224
00:11:07,564 --> 00:11:09,786
An hour ago, you wanted
to go to New York

225
00:11:09,791 --> 00:11:11,967
to save the rest of the humans.

226
00:11:12,318 --> 00:11:13,798
You are flip-floppy.

227
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,849
She happens to be one of those humans.

228
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,762
You killed her father,

229
00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:21,583
so we are staying here
until we get her safely home.

230
00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:26,855
She does not need our help.

231
00:11:26,890 --> 00:11:29,414
She's already making friends.

232
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:30,907
Shit.

233
00:11:32,686 --> 00:11:34,515
I think we can make that happen, yeah.

234
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,164
- You ever been on one before?
- Oh, yes.

235
00:11:36,169 --> 00:11:37,286
Let's do this thing.

236
00:11:37,291 --> 00:11:39,551
- Hey, nice bike.
- Thanks.

237
00:11:39,556 --> 00:11:41,179
I had the same one in high school.

238
00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:43,970
She's 16, so get the hell out of here.

239
00:11:45,902 --> 00:11:47,266
Faster.

240
00:11:50,312 --> 00:11:51,618
You're not my mother.

241
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,296
I know. She's doing the Vespa thing.

242
00:11:53,301 --> 00:11:55,062
Look, I want to help you.

243
00:11:55,143 --> 00:11:57,015
Because you're my dad's newest sex toy?

244
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,411
Oh, my God, knock it off.
We just work together.

245
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:02,075
Yeah, you're a little too old for him.

246
00:12:02,637 --> 00:12:05,284
Look, my mom left me when I was a baby,

247
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,423
so I know a few things
about being abandoned.

248
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,111
So now I'm your therapist?

249
00:12:10,116 --> 00:12:12,059
You know what? Eat shit.

250
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,661
Yeah. Laugh it off.

251
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,404
And have a little pity
party while you're at it.

252
00:12:15,408 --> 00:12:17,236
I'm not going to let
you get on a motorcycle

253
00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:20,418
and get beat up by some
asshole biker, okay?

254
00:12:33,812 --> 00:12:36,090
Did you really used to
have that motorcycle?

255
00:12:36,095 --> 00:12:38,921
No, my asshole biker boyfriend did.

256
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,796
I don't think my mom even
wanted to go to Italy.

257
00:12:46,942 --> 00:12:50,119
I think she just needed
an excuse to ship me off.

258
00:12:53,851 --> 00:12:55,857
I figured...

259
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,038
I hadn't seen my dad in a while.

260
00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:02,472
I was just borrowing that
bike to get to the cabin.

261
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:04,179
I'm not a thief.

262
00:13:05,194 --> 00:13:06,741
Not really.

263
00:13:07,718 --> 00:13:09,872
I mean, I do steal a lot of shit.

264
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:17,231
Something's different.

265
00:13:18,879 --> 00:13:21,926
At least he used to go through
the motions of being a father.

266
00:13:21,961 --> 00:13:24,421
Yeah, well...

267
00:13:25,321 --> 00:13:28,672
he's not the same man you used to know.

268
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,194
Maybe just give him a chance.

269
00:13:35,288 --> 00:13:38,030
I really miss you, Aunt Cathy.

270
00:13:38,813 --> 00:13:40,815
You were the only one I ever told

271
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,085
about the UFO I saw when I was a kid...

272
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:44,815
except John.

273
00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:48,436
He thinks I'm crazy but loves me anyway.

274
00:13:50,650 --> 00:13:52,870
God, I really hope you can hear me.

275
00:13:53,070 --> 00:13:55,365
Aunt Cathy, if you're listening,

276
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:57,285
please give me a sign.

277
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:58,968
- Liv!
- Oh!

278
00:13:59,050 --> 00:14:01,197
- Hey, Liv.
- Hey.

279
00:14:01,202 --> 00:14:02,363
Just bringing Max by.

280
00:14:02,368 --> 00:14:04,640
His first father-son
trip to the cemetery.

281
00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,778
- What is that tall thing?
- Ah.

282
00:14:06,855 --> 00:14:10,057
That is a monument honoring the 59.

283
00:14:10,062 --> 00:14:11,410
The star on top represents

284
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,249
the man that they went back to save.

285
00:14:13,254 --> 00:14:15,458
It's more than a monument.

286
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:18,031
They're all actually buried under there.

287
00:14:18,113 --> 00:14:20,525
It's a mass grave kind of thing.

288
00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:22,339
Awesome.

289
00:14:22,422 --> 00:14:25,320
Really? Huh.

290
00:14:25,662 --> 00:14:27,426
Well, uh, you'll be
happy to hear this year

291
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:30,251
at Patience Family Day,
the theme is "Remember When."

292
00:14:30,256 --> 00:14:33,593
So we'll be honoring the 59...
Max, stop digging.

293
00:14:33,819 --> 00:14:35,957
I'm trying to rebrand
the whole narrative,

294
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,746
you know, just remind people that

295
00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:39,884
these aren't just 59 dead men.

296
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,745
You know, these are... these are heroes.

297
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,099
Mm, that sounds great.

298
00:14:43,104 --> 00:14:44,830
Yeah. We're going to
have mining-themed games.

299
00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:46,271
Kids are putting on a play

300
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,229
- written by yours truly.
- Ah.

301
00:14:48,234 --> 00:14:49,971
Hey, maybe even get real authentic...

302
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,625
Swap out the toilet
paper in the porta-potties

303
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:54,315
- for corn husks.
- Yeah, maybe not that one.

304
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,455
Ah, I already started shucking.

305
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,288
- Well, uh, good to see you.
- Yeah.

306
00:14:57,293 --> 00:14:58,754
Okay. Come on, Max.

307
00:14:58,759 --> 00:15:01,675
Hey, Max, I've been meaning
to ask you something.

308
00:15:01,939 --> 00:15:03,636
You know that sketch you had me do...

309
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,322
The... the one of the alien?

310
00:15:05,327 --> 00:15:08,381
Oh, um... yeah,
I made all that stuff up.

311
00:15:09,052 --> 00:15:10,648
Aliens aren't real.

312
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,305
Well, it looks like
she's been here before.

313
00:15:24,719 --> 00:15:26,184
Nice talking with you.

314
00:15:26,438 --> 00:15:29,074
This is a bad idea.
I do not like children.

315
00:15:29,079 --> 00:15:30,228
Yes, you do.

316
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,105
I saw the way you
looked at Sunny's baby.

317
00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:34,929
That is different. A baby is tiny.

318
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,503
And it doesn't speak.

319
00:15:36,508 --> 00:15:38,633
Well, every baby grows into a Liza.

320
00:15:38,714 --> 00:15:40,586
Then why do you feed them?

321
00:15:40,743 --> 00:15:43,211
'Cause if you don't, they will die.

322
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,878
No, mm-mm. Don't even think about it.

323
00:15:46,883 --> 00:15:48,558
Anything happens to
her or if she leaves,

324
00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:49,956
we will have much bigger problems.

325
00:15:49,961 --> 00:15:52,299
Okay, keep her alive and happy

326
00:15:52,304 --> 00:15:54,349
until her mom comes home in a few days

327
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:57,357
and we go to New York and save humanity.

328
00:15:59,039 --> 00:16:02,434
Also, try to act as normal as possible

329
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,920
and keep the door to
your alien bunker locked

330
00:16:04,925 --> 00:16:07,362
and the talking octopus in your room.

331
00:16:09,499 --> 00:16:10,738
I have got this.

332
00:16:10,743 --> 00:16:12,621
I can be a good father.

333
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:14,147
I've seen a lot of television.

334
00:16:14,152 --> 00:16:16,487
Ugh, what happened to the Wi-Fi?

335
00:16:16,492 --> 00:16:18,233
And it smells like dead people up here.

336
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:20,884
Then you should take a shower...

337
00:16:22,211 --> 00:16:24,134
my darling daughter.

338
00:16:34,545 --> 00:16:36,503
Hey, hey, hey!

339
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:47,102
Buddy, you took my spot.

340
00:16:48,176 --> 00:16:49,699
Glad to see you got a new truck.

341
00:16:49,743 --> 00:16:52,180
It was the, uh, problem
with the emergency brake

342
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:54,009
- on the last one, right?
- Oh, you're real funny.

343
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,290
You could have killed someone.

344
00:16:55,295 --> 00:16:57,331
Now you're pretending to
care about other people.

345
00:16:57,336 --> 00:17:00,433
Hey, maybe show me how much
you care with your fist.

346
00:17:00,438 --> 00:17:01,977
That's you do things, right?

347
00:17:01,982 --> 00:17:03,415
Looks like you already
lost one fight today.

348
00:17:03,419 --> 00:17:05,323
But keep playing with
me, and we'll make it two.

349
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,102
It would be the honor of my life

350
00:17:07,107 --> 00:17:08,674
to lay your ass out.

351
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,634
In fact, I'll do it twice...
Once for me, once for Asta.

352
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:11,808
Well, if she's so upset,

353
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,033
why did she stay at my house last night?

354
00:17:15,563 --> 00:17:16,782
Mm.

355
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,398
Bullshit.

356
00:17:27,841 --> 00:17:29,844
Yeah, good to see you.

357
00:17:31,579 --> 00:17:33,052
Hey, hey.

358
00:17:34,744 --> 00:17:36,050
Got some good news.

359
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,013
Oh, yeah, the Nats won four in a row.

360
00:17:38,018 --> 00:17:39,628
I'm not talking about the Nationals.

361
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:42,104
My biopsy came back negative.

362
00:17:42,399 --> 00:17:43,883
Biopsy? What biopsy?

363
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:45,277
You're the one who kept nagging me

364
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:46,708
to get my mole checked.

365
00:17:46,713 --> 00:17:48,236
You drove me to the clinic.

366
00:17:48,774 --> 00:17:50,636
What? When?

367
00:17:50,641 --> 00:17:52,201
Two weeks ago.

368
00:17:52,244 --> 00:17:54,330
Well, obviously you didn't
tell me it was for a biopsy,

369
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,902
or I would have remembered.

370
00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:57,805
Of course I told you.

371
00:17:58,968 --> 00:18:01,727
You ain't been the same since D.C.

372
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,038
You got to deal with that.

373
00:18:03,043 --> 00:18:05,079
See a doctor, psychiatrist,

374
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,816
- hell, anybody.
- Mm-hmm.

375
00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:09,213
Tell me, why exactly should
I take mental-health advice

376
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,220
from somebody who stayed
holed up in the house,

377
00:18:11,225 --> 00:18:13,087
refusing to speak to
anybody for six months

378
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,454
when Mama died, huh?

379
00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:16,894
Yeah, well, I'm not the one
carrying a deadly weapon.

380
00:18:16,899 --> 00:18:17,908
Okay, all right, you know what?

381
00:18:17,912 --> 00:18:20,006
Is this... is this what
we have now? Is this us?

382
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,796
We just gonna fight all the time?

383
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,107
I got friends. They got dads.

384
00:18:23,112 --> 00:18:24,501
They go to games.
They go fishing and shit.

385
00:18:24,505 --> 00:18:26,711
We ain't done nothing like
that since I was a kid.

386
00:18:26,716 --> 00:18:28,536
Instead, all I got is
you sitting across from me

387
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,606
telling me all the things
you think are wrong with me.

388
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,241
You're a young man.

389
00:18:32,323 --> 00:18:34,910
It's not normal to
forget stuff like that.

390
00:18:43,649 --> 00:18:46,530
What are we eating?

391
00:18:47,729 --> 00:18:50,689
This is missing something. What is it?

392
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:53,257
Oh, right, flavor.

393
00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:57,353
Have you ever heard of
salt or a-a vegetable maybe?

394
00:18:57,732 --> 00:19:00,046
I did have some vegetables,

395
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,994
but they grew organisms on them.

396
00:19:01,999 --> 00:19:03,528
You know I can't eat gluten.

397
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,749
Did you forget that, or are
you purposely trying to kill me?

398
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,798
Would gluten kill you?

399
00:19:07,975 --> 00:19:09,931
- I'll just starve.
- Mm.

400
00:19:09,973 --> 00:19:12,364
You need to call my boot camp
and tell them that I'm with you

401
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,935
and I'm too sick to go back.

402
00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:15,671
That would be lying.

403
00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:19,549
Lying is bad, young lady.

404
00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:22,025
I will now discipline you

405
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:25,555
by sending you to bed without supper.

406
00:19:27,988 --> 00:19:29,294
I already told you...

407
00:19:29,299 --> 00:19:31,456
I'm not going to eat
your shitty gut-bomb pasta.

408
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:34,690
Fine. Fine. Fine.

409
00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:37,437
More... more gluten for me.

410
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:38,748
Enjoy.

411
00:19:38,954 --> 00:19:40,478
I am.

412
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,091
I know you feel like you're different.

413
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:47,519
You are different.

414
00:19:47,524 --> 00:19:50,375
You can see what's going on.

415
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,186
Aliens are real.

416
00:19:52,229 --> 00:19:53,752
Hey, uh, Deputy, where are you?

417
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,547
That car was supposed
to be back an hour ago.

418
00:19:57,495 --> 00:20:01,066
Uh, just at the market
picking up supplies

419
00:20:01,071 --> 00:20:02,769
- for the break room.
- Hey, uh, Dep.

420
00:20:02,774 --> 00:20:03,790
You know what? While you're there,

421
00:20:03,794 --> 00:20:05,355
go ahead and pick me up a lotto ticket.

422
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,157
Go ahead pick up one for Cletus, too.

423
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,632
Sure thing, Sheriff.

424
00:20:08,637 --> 00:20:11,074
You want a lotto ticket?

425
00:20:13,804 --> 00:20:15,922
You spent the night at Jimmy's?

426
00:20:16,776 --> 00:20:18,821
- It's not what you think.
- What is wrong with you?

427
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,606
How do you even get within
ten feet of that creep

428
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,743
- without ripping his face off?
- Shh.

429
00:20:24,654 --> 00:20:27,222
We had to deliver my cousin
Sunny's baby, okay?

430
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,185
It messed with my head.

431
00:20:29,189 --> 00:20:32,105
Okay, great. So call your friends.

432
00:20:32,312 --> 00:20:35,359
- You don't understand.
- No, I really don't.

433
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,540
Well, Jimmy does, so it's
not a terrible surprise

434
00:20:37,545 --> 00:20:39,774
that I want to talk to
him about it and not you.

435
00:20:40,542 --> 00:20:42,411
I guess I'm just somebody
who doesn't like watching

436
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:44,199
their best friend ruin their life.

437
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,766
Oh, really?

438
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,110
And that's just something for me to do?

439
00:20:48,416 --> 00:20:49,852
What is that supposed to mean?

440
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,173
You think I don't know
that you come in here

441
00:20:51,177 --> 00:20:52,672
for hangover IVs?

442
00:20:52,812 --> 00:20:54,558
Sorry, D'arcy.

443
00:20:54,563 --> 00:20:56,299
You want to talk about
watching friends ruin lives?

444
00:20:56,303 --> 00:20:58,382
- Let's talk about it.
- You know, it's weird.

445
00:20:58,387 --> 00:20:59,744
You didn't seem worried about this

446
00:20:59,748 --> 00:21:01,385
until I started helping Jay.

447
00:21:01,429 --> 00:21:03,039
Oh, is that what you're doing?

448
00:21:03,044 --> 00:21:04,766
You're "helping" her?

449
00:21:04,771 --> 00:21:06,121
Yes.

450
00:21:06,617 --> 00:21:08,827
She needs somebody to talk to.

451
00:21:09,015 --> 00:21:10,569
Maybe she'll listen to my dating advice.

452
00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:12,532
I'm not so sure you're the best person

453
00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:14,437
to be giving advice about men.

454
00:21:14,442 --> 00:21:15,791
Wow.

455
00:21:16,547 --> 00:21:18,750
- D'arce.
- Okay.

456
00:21:34,489 --> 00:21:35,968
Where's Murphy?

457
00:21:39,728 --> 00:21:41,556
"If you ever want to see your dog again,

458
00:21:41,561 --> 00:21:44,118
return my alien ball... Alien."

459
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,011
It's not even your dog.

460
00:21:46,016 --> 00:21:48,785
- We win again.
- No, we don't.

461
00:21:48,868 --> 00:21:50,800
Murphy's my responsibility.

462
00:21:50,805 --> 00:21:52,988
Her owners pay me to walk her.

463
00:21:52,993 --> 00:21:54,719
We have to get her back.

464
00:21:55,222 --> 00:21:57,472
Humans are obsessed with pets.

465
00:21:57,477 --> 00:22:00,057
If I give Liza this
slobbering lump of fur,

466
00:22:00,062 --> 00:22:03,380
she will become so distracted
taking care of the dog,

467
00:22:03,385 --> 00:22:05,481
I won't have to take care of her.

468
00:22:05,486 --> 00:22:09,573
Liza, dear child, I have a gift for you.

469
00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:14,245
Mm-hmm.

470
00:22:14,659 --> 00:22:15,834
A dog?

471
00:22:15,839 --> 00:22:17,505
What am I supposed
to do with that thing?

472
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:19,338
You know mom's allergic.

473
00:22:23,642 --> 00:22:26,514
This will be more difficult
than I first thought.

474
00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:02,259
Ew.

475
00:23:07,613 --> 00:23:09,827
No, there's a...

476
00:23:10,297 --> 00:23:11,559
You...

477
00:23:12,068 --> 00:23:13,964
Got the balloon arch going.

478
00:23:13,969 --> 00:23:17,146
This guy, old prospector...
Looking great, everyone.

479
00:23:17,151 --> 00:23:19,259
- Hi, Kayla.
- Hey, Kate.

480
00:23:19,264 --> 00:23:21,351
Uh, isn't the booth supposed to be

481
00:23:21,371 --> 00:23:23,978
- just back a couple feet?
- Yeah, there was a rock there.

482
00:23:23,983 --> 00:23:27,323
See, all the booths are
supposed to be 30 feet apart.

483
00:23:27,445 --> 00:23:29,185
Did you know that the human brain

484
00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:31,447
gets pleasure from symmetry?

485
00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,276
Did you know that the
human ankle gets pain

486
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,288
from breaking itself on a rock?

487
00:23:35,887 --> 00:23:37,715
Oh, no.

488
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,592
Why is there a murderer here?

489
00:23:39,674 --> 00:23:42,111
- Innocent until proven guilty.
- Innocent?

490
00:23:42,116 --> 00:23:43,931
She's holding a weapon.

491
00:23:43,936 --> 00:23:46,759
- Honey, it's a paintbrush.
- That's a weapon.

492
00:23:46,764 --> 00:23:48,982
"Hi. What would you like
me to paint on your face...

493
00:23:48,987 --> 00:23:50,467
A nice little birdie?"

494
00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,213
"Take that kid."

495
00:23:54,911 --> 00:23:57,000
Keep an eye on her.

496
00:23:59,263 --> 00:24:00,830
It's good to see you.

497
00:24:02,889 --> 00:24:04,931
- This is stupid.
- It is not stupid.

498
00:24:04,936 --> 00:24:06,749
This is Patience Family Day.

499
00:24:06,831 --> 00:24:08,354
We are a family in Patience,

500
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,845
and this is what families
in Patience do on this day.

501
00:24:11,850 --> 00:24:13,747
If she were home with
me for one more second,

502
00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:16,798
I would kill her and feed
her to my hungry octopus.

503
00:24:16,803 --> 00:24:18,060
Can I at least drive?

504
00:24:18,065 --> 00:24:20,475
- Will you stop complaining?
- Yes.

505
00:24:22,302 --> 00:24:24,478
- Okay.
- Yes!

506
00:24:33,102 --> 00:24:34,642
Hurry.

507
00:24:34,647 --> 00:24:36,039
Okay.

508
00:24:41,227 --> 00:24:43,999
Okay. Try not to kill us.

509
00:24:44,004 --> 00:24:45,734
Calm down. It's fine.

510
00:24:45,739 --> 00:24:47,306
This is a nightmare.

511
00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:49,792
How do human parents teach
driving to their children

512
00:24:49,797 --> 00:24:51,276
without being terrified?

513
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:53,797
The truck sounds like it
wants you to shift now.

514
00:24:56,469 --> 00:24:58,633
Oh, let's put on some tunes.

515
00:24:58,919 --> 00:25:01,055
Wait, watch out!

516
00:25:01,887 --> 00:25:05,672
- Stop being a backseat driver.
- There is no back seat.

517
00:25:05,875 --> 00:25:07,810
It is a truck.

518
00:25:07,815 --> 00:25:11,113
It is a nice day, and...

519
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:13,175
that is a beautiful
stop sign approaching.

520
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:14,475
- You see it?
- Where?

521
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,699
There.

522
00:25:16,924 --> 00:25:18,448
Watch it, asshole!

523
00:25:18,453 --> 00:25:20,557
Stop! That's it! Get out of that truck!

524
00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:22,794
You are the worst driver I've ever seen!

525
00:25:22,799 --> 00:25:26,281
You're a jerk. I was
finally having some fun.

526
00:25:30,865 --> 00:25:32,823
Damn it.

527
00:25:34,354 --> 00:25:36,862
Come on, we got to hurry.
We'll be late for the play.

528
00:25:36,867 --> 00:25:38,378
I don't want to give the ball back.

529
00:25:38,383 --> 00:25:40,011
We have no choice.

530
00:25:40,016 --> 00:25:41,405
Do you know what a kidnapping review

531
00:25:41,409 --> 00:25:43,906
will do to my whole
dog-walking business?

532
00:25:45,587 --> 00:25:46,936
Wait.

533
00:25:46,980 --> 00:25:49,591
Someone's been here.
The satellite dish is gone.

534
00:25:51,512 --> 00:25:53,227
Oh, no.

535
00:26:02,875 --> 00:26:04,441
The ball.

536
00:26:06,748 --> 00:26:08,362
Who took it?

537
00:26:08,784 --> 00:26:10,960
There's only one possibility.

538
00:26:42,862 --> 00:26:44,341
Asta.

539
00:26:44,415 --> 00:26:45,581
Hey, Harry.

540
00:26:45,586 --> 00:26:48,034
Thank you so much again for
helping Sunny with her baby.

541
00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:49,258
You were amazing.

542
00:26:49,263 --> 00:26:51,091
They are easy when they are babies.

543
00:26:51,430 --> 00:26:52,736
They cannot run away yet

544
00:26:52,741 --> 00:26:55,570
or almost kill you in a car accident.

545
00:26:55,575 --> 00:26:57,011
Run away? Did Liza leave?

546
00:26:57,386 --> 00:26:58,612
- Oh!
- Oh!

547
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:02,175
- Uh, found her.
- Oh, yep, teenage daughter.

548
00:27:02,746 --> 00:27:04,443
Oh, Harry, maybe you should...

549
00:27:04,448 --> 00:27:06,636
No. That's it.

550
00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:09,274
You are as bad at throwing

551
00:27:09,279 --> 00:27:11,355
as you are at driving!

552
00:27:12,433 --> 00:27:14,675
Well, I must be
a pretty good driver, then,

553
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,542
because you're soaking wet.

554
00:27:17,901 --> 00:27:21,209
You are the worst daughter that I have.

555
00:27:21,214 --> 00:27:23,652
I am your only daughter, you idiot!

556
00:27:24,597 --> 00:27:28,293
If I had another daughter
and she was bad,

557
00:27:28,298 --> 00:27:30,097
you would be worse!

558
00:27:31,472 --> 00:27:32,994
Please stop, you guys.

559
00:27:32,999 --> 00:27:35,784
Uh, we only have a limited
number of balloons.

560
00:27:35,867 --> 00:27:38,739
And, Judy, uh, I-I appreciate
you dressing on theme,

561
00:27:38,744 --> 00:27:40,343
but could you cover up the cleavage?

562
00:27:40,348 --> 00:27:41,567
There are children here.

563
00:27:41,572 --> 00:27:43,011
There's a theme?

564
00:27:44,789 --> 00:27:45,789
Not okay!

565
00:27:45,794 --> 00:27:47,133
No! Hey!

566
00:27:47,138 --> 00:27:49,140
- Not... not okay. Hey!
- Get him.

567
00:27:49,145 --> 00:27:51,210
Summer fun, summer high jinks.

568
00:27:51,597 --> 00:27:53,623
Listen, you got to take it down here.

569
00:27:53,628 --> 00:27:55,753
- Hey! Okay, all right.
- Ha ha ha!

570
00:27:55,935 --> 00:27:57,758
Not okay! Oh!

571
00:28:05,365 --> 00:28:07,227
I know you didn't kill Sam.

572
00:28:07,232 --> 00:28:08,948
Oh...

573
00:28:09,138 --> 00:28:11,662
you have no idea how
much that means to me.

574
00:28:14,490 --> 00:28:17,841
Okay. Bird or butterfly?

575
00:28:17,909 --> 00:28:22,783
Uh, I was thinking more of
a Ziggy Stardust-type thing.

576
00:28:22,788 --> 00:28:25,678
Oh, okay, I like it. Let's see now.

577
00:28:41,062 --> 00:28:44,326
Does the food you eat ever
get caught in your lip metal?

578
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,897
You're different than before,

579
00:28:50,177 --> 00:28:52,569
like, head-injury different.

580
00:28:52,911 --> 00:28:55,293
- You've changed.
- Yes, I know.

581
00:28:56,021 --> 00:28:58,327
You ghosted me for, like, three years.

582
00:28:59,069 --> 00:29:00,538
I thought you hated me,

583
00:29:00,543 --> 00:29:03,084
Then why did you come here?

584
00:29:03,241 --> 00:29:05,308
To be honest, I was afraid to.

585
00:29:05,313 --> 00:29:06,881
I mean...

586
00:29:07,397 --> 00:29:09,587
I've changed, too, obviously.

587
00:29:09,592 --> 00:29:12,378
I'm not the little girl
you used to take fishing.

588
00:29:13,403 --> 00:29:14,883
But you're my family.

589
00:29:15,389 --> 00:29:17,489
I was hoping that'd be enough,

590
00:29:17,494 --> 00:29:18,887
'cause if it wasn't enough,

591
00:29:18,892 --> 00:29:23,116
I would have had to go
back to that hellhole camp.

592
00:29:23,413 --> 00:29:25,633
Dial their phone number.

593
00:29:33,053 --> 00:29:36,517
Hello, my name is
Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle,

594
00:29:36,522 --> 00:29:39,642
and my daughter Liza
isn't going to come back

595
00:29:39,647 --> 00:29:43,556
to your stupid camp.

596
00:29:43,561 --> 00:29:44,939
It is stupid.

597
00:29:44,944 --> 00:29:47,258
You are stupid.

598
00:29:47,263 --> 00:29:48,874
If you contact her again,

599
00:29:48,879 --> 00:29:51,069
I will find you and your family.

600
00:29:51,074 --> 00:29:52,588
That should cover it.

601
00:29:52,829 --> 00:29:55,005
Mm-hmm.

602
00:29:57,539 --> 00:29:59,280
Hey...

603
00:29:59,401 --> 00:30:00,881
win me a prize?

604
00:30:04,319 --> 00:30:08,889
I will win myself a prize
and consider giving it to you.

605
00:30:08,894 --> 00:30:10,243
Fair enough.

606
00:30:16,462 --> 00:30:19,813
All right, time for
the 52nd Annual Family Day

607
00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:21,834
Hot Chili Pepper Eating Contest.

608
00:30:21,916 --> 00:30:23,465
You should eat more.

609
00:30:23,469 --> 00:30:25,857
No. Need to line the stomach.

610
00:30:25,862 --> 00:30:28,816
Trust me, I've won this contest
every year since I was 13,

611
00:30:28,821 --> 00:30:30,911
except the year that
Ethiopian exchange student

612
00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:32,097
threw me for a loop.

613
00:30:32,102 --> 00:30:34,392
- Biniyam!
- You're so gonna win.

614
00:30:34,435 --> 00:30:36,394
Have you seen everyone
else at the table?

615
00:30:36,399 --> 00:30:37,795
They're all, like, adults.

616
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:38,962
I'm an adult.

617
00:30:38,967 --> 00:30:42,225
- Shut up. No, you're not.
- Okay.

618
00:30:42,230 --> 00:30:43,273
Will all remaining entrants

619
00:30:43,277 --> 00:30:44,843
please make their way to the table?

620
00:30:44,848 --> 00:30:46,902
- Let's get started.
- Whoo! Let's go, D'arce!

621
00:30:47,492 --> 00:30:49,842
I've been practicing
with, like, hot things...

622
00:30:49,847 --> 00:30:53,363
Like, getting, like, big,
hot things in my mouth.

623
00:30:53,368 --> 00:30:55,402
I mean, this is
the first time its pepper.

624
00:30:55,407 --> 00:30:57,976
Okay, we are just about to start.

625
00:30:57,981 --> 00:31:01,245
- What are you doing?
- What? I love spicy food.

626
00:31:01,614 --> 00:31:02,899
This isn't spicy food.

627
00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:04,688
This is the stuff they
put a tiny bit of in

628
00:31:04,693 --> 00:31:06,655
to make spicy food.

629
00:31:06,660 --> 00:31:09,378
- Afraid I'm going to beat you?
- I'm afraid you're gonna die.

630
00:31:09,383 --> 00:31:11,255
You're going down this year, skank.

631
00:31:11,260 --> 00:31:13,913
- Not as often as you.
- True, true.

632
00:31:13,918 --> 00:31:17,022
First up is a very mild banana pepper.

633
00:31:17,027 --> 00:31:18,613
Eat!

634
00:31:25,347 --> 00:31:27,581
I'm on fire!

635
00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:31,210
Nope, nope, nope, I'm out! I'm out!

636
00:31:31,621 --> 00:31:33,887
Ow. No, no, no.

637
00:31:35,942 --> 00:31:37,847
Oh, hey, Doc, um...

638
00:31:38,196 --> 00:31:40,121
can I talk to you in
private for a minute?

639
00:31:41,284 --> 00:31:42,591
Nice alien.

640
00:31:42,596 --> 00:31:44,366
Thanks. My dad stole it for me.

641
00:31:44,371 --> 00:31:47,004
Oh, that... That's a little bit illegal.

642
00:31:47,292 --> 00:31:49,076
It's, like, super cheap, so...

643
00:31:49,081 --> 00:31:51,260
Yeah, doesn't really...
It's more the principle.

644
00:31:51,265 --> 00:31:53,574
- Okay.
- Here.

645
00:31:55,174 --> 00:31:57,631
Look, uh, I'll make this quick.

646
00:31:57,636 --> 00:32:01,655
All right, um, two weeks ago,
I took my dad to get a biopsy,

647
00:32:01,660 --> 00:32:03,356
except I don't remember taking him.

648
00:32:03,398 --> 00:32:05,093
I don't remember anything...
As a matter of fact,

649
00:32:05,097 --> 00:32:06,790
I don't remember anything
about that day at all

650
00:32:06,794 --> 00:32:08,693
except talking to the FBI.

651
00:32:08,698 --> 00:32:10,077
That's not normal, right?

652
00:32:10,082 --> 00:32:12,191
He is right. It is not normal.

653
00:32:12,272 --> 00:32:14,381
And it is also very bad for me.

654
00:32:14,386 --> 00:32:16,104
All right, now get this...
It gets weirder, right?

655
00:32:16,108 --> 00:32:17,446
Now, I haven't told Deputy Liv

656
00:32:17,451 --> 00:32:18,975
anything about me forgetting that day

657
00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:20,348
'cause I don't want her to freak out,

658
00:32:20,352 --> 00:32:21,760
but she's got gaps in her memory

659
00:32:21,765 --> 00:32:23,678
for that exact same day, too.

660
00:32:23,683 --> 00:32:25,982
You think if I came by
office, you could check me out?

661
00:32:25,987 --> 00:32:27,206
This is bad.

662
00:32:27,211 --> 00:32:28,621
If he starts investigating this,

663
00:32:28,626 --> 00:32:30,497
he might remember that I'm a murderer

664
00:32:30,502 --> 00:32:32,554
and possibly a werewolf.

665
00:32:32,559 --> 00:32:33,995
Yes.

666
00:32:34,077 --> 00:32:36,647
I will do what I can to
help with your memory.

667
00:32:36,652 --> 00:32:37,707
I appreciate it.

668
00:32:37,712 --> 00:32:40,514
You know, my dad... he tells
me it's emotional, right?

669
00:32:40,519 --> 00:32:41,800
That it's in my head.

670
00:32:42,521 --> 00:32:45,306
I lost a friend a few years back, and...

671
00:32:45,349 --> 00:32:48,089
truth is, I don't think
I've had a good day since.

672
00:32:48,510 --> 00:32:49,788
Does that make sense?

673
00:32:49,793 --> 00:32:51,926
Yes, that makes sense.

674
00:32:52,129 --> 00:32:54,675
All I got left now is my dad, and...

675
00:32:55,103 --> 00:32:57,113
who knows for how long, right?

676
00:32:57,118 --> 00:32:59,991
If I can't remember the time
I'm spending with him, then...

677
00:33:00,146 --> 00:33:02,815
- Sit down.
- Right here?

678
00:33:02,820 --> 00:33:04,605
- Mm.
- Okay.

679
00:33:06,849 --> 00:33:09,591
Let me lead you through a meditation

680
00:33:09,596 --> 00:33:11,892
- that will help with your grief.
- Okay.

681
00:33:11,897 --> 00:33:13,638
And put a memory in your head

682
00:33:13,643 --> 00:33:14,949
so you leave me alone.

683
00:33:15,222 --> 00:33:16,428
All right.

684
00:33:21,722 --> 00:33:23,413
We are getting up there now.

685
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:28,126
Next is the Trinidad Scorpion
at 1.2 million Scoville units.

686
00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:30,058
This is gonna turn out bad.

687
00:33:30,524 --> 00:33:33,049
Why are you doing this? Take your milk.

688
00:33:33,311 --> 00:33:34,311
I feel great.

689
00:33:34,316 --> 00:33:37,537
All right, D'arcy!
You can do this, Asta!

690
00:33:40,294 --> 00:33:43,105
Whoo, Asta! Yes.

691
00:33:44,504 --> 00:33:45,801
Mm-mm.

692
00:33:45,806 --> 00:33:47,575
Oh, God, that's not the way
you're supposed to eat that.

693
00:33:47,579 --> 00:33:49,699
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- No, you're not.

694
00:33:49,704 --> 00:33:51,720
- You're not gonna be fine.
- Oh, God.

695
00:33:53,339 --> 00:33:55,941
All right.

696
00:33:55,946 --> 00:33:58,464
I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.

697
00:33:58,469 --> 00:34:01,338
And the winner and new champion is

698
00:34:01,343 --> 00:34:02,936
Ellen Cho!

699
00:34:07,610 --> 00:34:11,121
Bow to me! Bow!

700
00:34:11,126 --> 00:34:12,611
The play's about to start.
I saved you guys some seats.

701
00:34:12,615 --> 00:34:14,835
- Oh, I'm excited.
- I don't do no plays.

702
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,387
I don't play. I don't watch plays.

703
00:34:16,392 --> 00:34:17,877
I don't want... I ain't
want to do no plays.

704
00:34:17,881 --> 00:34:19,448
Oh, come on, come on, come on.

705
00:34:19,453 --> 00:34:20,976
Come on, let's go.

706
00:34:21,098 --> 00:34:22,577
- Did you write it?
- I did.

707
00:34:22,582 --> 00:34:25,113
Wow, a pickax for my tenth birthday?

708
00:34:25,118 --> 00:34:26,185
Thanks, Dad!

709
00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:28,670
We're all miners now.

710
00:34:28,675 --> 00:34:31,069
Mining built the town
of Patience, Colorado.

711
00:34:31,151 --> 00:34:33,066
At one time, every able-bodied man

712
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,376
who lived here worked the mine.

713
00:34:35,381 --> 00:34:39,184
Then one cold January day in 1884,

714
00:34:39,189 --> 00:34:40,899
heroes were born.

715
00:34:43,786 --> 00:34:46,668
Oh, no! It could be a cave-in!

716
00:34:46,673 --> 00:34:48,283
Run for your lives!

717
00:34:50,779 --> 00:34:52,433
Help! Help!

718
00:34:52,438 --> 00:34:54,379
There's one man still in the mine!

719
00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:56,393
We must go back for him!

720
00:34:56,398 --> 00:34:59,706
59 brave men refused
to leave one man behind.

721
00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:01,616
They were heroes.

722
00:35:01,621 --> 00:35:04,363
How much of the town budget
did you spend on this play?

723
00:35:04,617 --> 00:35:06,838
- Eight percent.
- Eight perc...

724
00:35:08,241 --> 00:35:12,095
What happened in
the mine after it collapsed.

725
00:35:13,509 --> 00:35:16,160
We're boulders, and
we're here to kill miners.

726
00:35:16,165 --> 00:35:18,159
All must die.

727
00:35:47,227 --> 00:35:49,807
All my organs are hemorrhaging.

728
00:35:51,839 --> 00:35:54,277
My leg, my leg.

729
00:35:54,282 --> 00:35:57,590
59 men succumbed to their
crush injuries that day.

730
00:35:57,671 --> 00:36:01,417
And one man, who was
trapped in an air pocket,

731
00:36:01,422 --> 00:36:04,369
died of loneliness and
thirst three days later.

732
00:36:04,374 --> 00:36:08,378
I'm so thirsty and so lonely.

733
00:36:09,998 --> 00:36:13,713
To the 59 and to Air Pocket Pete.

734
00:36:13,718 --> 00:36:15,603
I don't think his
name was actually Pete,

735
00:36:15,608 --> 00:36:18,611
but, you know, it works,
and it works well.

736
00:36:20,282 --> 00:36:24,373
? Where have all the daddies gone? ?

737
00:36:24,756 --> 00:36:28,647
? Where did they all go? ?

738
00:36:28,652 --> 00:36:33,355
? My uncle is my daddy now ?

739
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,886
? And soon there will be snow ?

740
00:36:37,891 --> 00:36:42,234
? Where did Mommy's happy go? ?

741
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:46,139
? She drinks wine all day ?

742
00:36:46,366 --> 00:36:51,048
? My uncle daddy gets real mad ?

743
00:36:51,053 --> 00:36:53,905
- ? I don't think he will stay ?
- What are you thinking?

744
00:36:53,910 --> 00:36:55,600
Terrible mayor.

745
00:37:05,525 --> 00:37:06,525
Stop.

746
00:37:18,254 --> 00:37:20,320
Here, this'll help.

747
00:37:20,325 --> 00:37:23,595
Thanks. I need, like, six
or seven more of these.

748
00:37:29,416 --> 00:37:32,209
I shouldn't have said what
I said about you and Jay.

749
00:37:32,685 --> 00:37:34,412
I didn't mean it.

750
00:37:34,825 --> 00:37:36,475
No, you meant it.

751
00:37:37,206 --> 00:37:39,687
Okay, I meant it.

752
00:37:39,730 --> 00:37:42,167
I was mad, and I was wrong.

753
00:37:42,381 --> 00:37:44,102
No, you weren't.

754
00:37:44,131 --> 00:37:45,654
You were right.

755
00:37:45,737 --> 00:37:47,260
My parents took me out to dinner,

756
00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,474
and my response was to
go get blackout drunk.

757
00:37:49,479 --> 00:37:52,209
Your parents are assholes.

758
00:37:52,592 --> 00:37:54,725
I mean, I love them, but come on.

759
00:37:55,399 --> 00:37:57,444
I should be better at
dealing with them by now.

760
00:37:57,449 --> 00:37:58,967
I'm not 15.

761
00:37:59,493 --> 00:38:01,277
I'm a mess.

762
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,324
No.

763
00:38:03,329 --> 00:38:05,428
I'm a mess. Look at me.

764
00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:08,342
I don't want to be messy.

765
00:38:08,977 --> 00:38:10,805
I don't want that either.

766
00:38:10,810 --> 00:38:12,736
We can't both be messes
at the same time.

767
00:38:12,741 --> 00:38:14,374
Otherwise it's chaos.

768
00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:19,022
Going to Jimmy's was so dumb.

769
00:38:20,142 --> 00:38:22,194
I just...

770
00:38:24,127 --> 00:38:26,560
He just went through it, you know?

771
00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:27,687
I mean, he was an asshole,

772
00:38:27,692 --> 00:38:30,165
but he was there when Jay was born,

773
00:38:30,170 --> 00:38:32,353
and he was there for me
through all the freakouts

774
00:38:32,358 --> 00:38:34,373
after I gave her up.

775
00:38:35,047 --> 00:38:37,745
? I would never take from you... ?

776
00:38:37,750 --> 00:38:40,753
I guess I'm so used
to being sad with him,

777
00:38:40,758 --> 00:38:42,760
something about it feels normal.

778
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:46,959
I don't think that's
supposed to feel normal.

779
00:38:48,243 --> 00:38:50,853
You know, I wasn't around
when all that stuff went down,

780
00:38:50,858 --> 00:38:52,721
but I'm here now.

781
00:38:52,896 --> 00:38:54,984
And I always will be.

782
00:38:55,637 --> 00:38:57,873
You know that, right?

783
00:38:58,814 --> 00:39:00,912
Right.

784
00:39:02,857 --> 00:39:05,951
When I woke up on his couch...

785
00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:08,558
I saw that picture of
us from the senior year

786
00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:12,001
where I'm wearing that
stupid football sweatshirt.

787
00:39:14,198 --> 00:39:16,897
That thing is still in my trunk.

788
00:39:18,595 --> 00:39:20,634
I think you should go
get that sweatshirt.

789
00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:25,911
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Why?

790
00:39:25,916 --> 00:39:27,048
- Yeah.
- Why?

791
00:39:27,053 --> 00:39:28,364
- Yeah.
- Why?

792
00:39:29,845 --> 00:39:31,190
What are you gonna do?

793
00:39:31,194 --> 00:39:33,074
What are you gonna do?

794
00:39:58,043 --> 00:40:00,262
We'll only be gone a couple of days.

795
00:40:00,673 --> 00:40:02,109
You're sure you're okay here alone?

796
00:40:02,114 --> 00:40:03,516
Ah, of course.

797
00:40:03,521 --> 00:40:05,620
Who cares if everyone hated the play

798
00:40:05,877 --> 00:40:07,313
and me for writing it?

799
00:40:07,318 --> 00:40:10,289
Not everyone in the audience hated it.

800
00:40:10,301 --> 00:40:11,764
And that woman who screamed at you

801
00:40:11,769 --> 00:40:13,458
is one of those complainer
moms from school.

802
00:40:13,462 --> 00:40:15,712
? Where have all the daddies gone? ?

803
00:40:15,717 --> 00:40:18,938
? Where did they all go?

804
00:40:19,223 --> 00:40:20,964
You're singing the song.

805
00:40:20,969 --> 00:40:22,985
Yeah, it's the best song ever.

806
00:40:22,990 --> 00:40:26,602
And the play was awesome.
The blood looked so cool.

807
00:40:26,687 --> 00:40:28,594
See you in a couple days.

808
00:40:28,938 --> 00:40:32,683
? Where did Mommy's happy go? ?

809
00:40:32,688 --> 00:40:35,199
Wow. Did you see that? Max loved it.

810
00:40:35,204 --> 00:40:38,087
See? You got yourself all
worked up over nothing.

811
00:40:38,092 --> 00:40:40,486
By next year, everyone will
have forgotten all about it,

812
00:40:40,491 --> 00:40:42,347
and you can do another play.

813
00:40:42,352 --> 00:40:44,137
No way. I mean, you heard Max.

814
00:40:44,142 --> 00:40:45,605
The play worked.

815
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,284
No, we'll... we'll do
it even bigger next year.

816
00:40:48,289 --> 00:40:51,248
You know, bigger boulders,
maybe... maybe even more blood.

817
00:40:52,624 --> 00:40:54,133
Great.

818
00:40:54,926 --> 00:40:57,066
- Okay. Bye, honey.
- Okay, bye.

819
00:40:57,071 --> 00:40:58,805
Bye-bye. Okay.

820
00:40:59,065 --> 00:41:01,165
Have fun at your mom's.

821
00:41:05,110 --> 00:41:07,376
- Bye, Dad!
- Bye, honey!

822
00:41:23,519 --> 00:41:24,738
Thanks.

823
00:41:24,743 --> 00:41:27,049
Just take care of yourself.

824
00:41:27,132 --> 00:41:28,350
At the end of the day,

825
00:41:28,355 --> 00:41:30,719
you can't depend on anyone else but you.

826
00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:33,547
My mom would never say
something like that.

827
00:41:34,879 --> 00:41:36,962
But I think you're right.

828
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:38,887
Thanks.

829
00:41:40,754 --> 00:41:42,103
I...

830
00:41:52,434 --> 00:41:54,784
You're a better father than I remember.

831
00:41:54,789 --> 00:41:57,211
I'm glad we got to spend time together.

832
00:41:57,684 --> 00:42:00,023
I might even miss you a little.

833
00:42:00,765 --> 00:42:02,484
I am glad.

834
00:42:02,607 --> 00:42:04,625
I miss my family, too.

835
00:42:04,630 --> 00:42:05,945
All right, folks.

836
00:42:06,822 --> 00:42:08,875
I have also changed.

837
00:42:09,477 --> 00:42:10,464
Ticket, please.

838
00:42:10,469 --> 00:42:13,359
But the alien in New York is my family.

839
00:42:14,445 --> 00:42:17,070
So maybe they will help me anyway.

840
00:42:19,706 --> 00:42:21,316
I have to try.

841
00:42:21,430 --> 00:42:23,693
I am ready to go to New York now.

842
00:42:26,690 --> 00:42:28,922
I am not worried.

843
00:42:29,329 --> 00:42:32,375
I know I am much more alien than human.

844
00:42:35,766 --> 00:42:38,120
Sheriff, can I tell you something?

845
00:42:38,125 --> 00:42:39,818
All right, go ahead. Lay it on me.

846
00:42:40,586 --> 00:42:43,495
You know that day the FBI guy came,

847
00:42:43,500 --> 00:42:46,570
the day that neither of us can remember?

848
00:42:47,461 --> 00:42:49,083
I think an alien erased our memory.

849
00:42:49,088 --> 00:42:50,766
There, I said it.

850
00:42:50,771 --> 00:42:52,251
Well, I can't speak for you, Deputy,

851
00:42:52,256 --> 00:42:56,023
but, um, I remember exactly
what I was doing that day.

852
00:42:56,244 --> 00:42:59,464
It was a good day.
Actually, a very good day.

853
00:43:01,735 --> 00:43:03,475
Okay.

854
00:43:09,136 --> 00:43:11,671
Only an alien would have
been able to put a memory

855
00:43:11,676 --> 00:43:13,416
in the sheriff's head.

856
00:43:20,766 --> 00:43:23,604
And if that memory
gave him a good day...

857
00:43:24,906 --> 00:43:27,222
then that is just a coincidence.

858
00:43:36,503 --> 00:43:39,503
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com