1
00:00:00,006 --> 00:00:01,906
_

2
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,900
_

3
00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:09,848
Hussey. You're a wife and mother.

4
00:00:09,850 --> 00:00:11,890
You're scum, you're scum.

5
00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,728
Slut!

6
00:00:16,730 --> 00:00:19,450
Ah, you'll be judged.
Judged on Earth.

7
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,100
_

8
00:00:28,124 --> 00:00:30,524
_

9
00:00:58,490 --> 00:01:00,530
I saw the crowds.

10
00:01:02,090 --> 00:01:04,208
How was the reception?

11
00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:06,008
Rapturous, what do you want?

12
00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:08,128
You've played a spirited game
but we both know

13
00:01:08,130 --> 00:01:11,128
- you don't have the guts for this.
- Do we really?

14
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:14,768
Margaret, I want to give you one
last chance

15
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:17,308
because I'm an honourable man.

16
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:21,330
I'll go in there, talk to my QC and
this will all be over.

17
00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:25,130
There'll be no need for you
to be confronted with...

18
00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:28,450
the evidence.

19
00:01:30,570 --> 00:01:32,410
Just nod your head.

20
00:01:37,770 --> 00:01:40,408
Hadn't you better take your seat?

21
00:01:40,410 --> 00:01:43,208
In the matter of Argyll
versus Argyll

22
00:01:43,210 --> 00:01:46,090
the court now calls Margaret,
Duchess of Argyll.

23
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,500
*CREDITS*

24
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,000
_

25
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,730
I once saw you at the Cafe de Paris.

26
00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:04,328
You were coming down the stairs all
eyes were on you...

27
00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:06,450
the famous Mrs Sweeney.

28
00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:12,528
I won't be Mrs Sweeney
for much longer.

29
00:03:12,530 --> 00:03:15,848
Yes, I've heard that,
you're divorcing him, desertion.

30
00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:19,330
Man's a fool... if you were mine,
I'd never let you out of my sight.

31
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,410
If you were mine.

32
00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:32,730
- Captain Ian Campbell.
- I know who you are.

33
00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:38,488
What happened next?

34
00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:40,568
I can't have just walked down
the staircase.

35
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:45,490
Well, you descended the stairs
and I was enchanted.

36
00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:49,688
Utterly bewitched.

37
00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:53,848
I said, "There's a girl
I'm going to marry."

38
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:57,088
- Who did you say that to?
- Janet, my wife.

39
00:03:57,090 --> 00:04:01,488
I rather think it's why she divorced
me, my first wife that is.

40
00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:03,928
I wonder what reason your second
will give.

41
00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:07,250
Oh, she'll never divorce me,
no matter how hard I try.

42
00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:11,290
Well, you should try harder,
put your...

43
00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:15,450
back into it.

44
00:04:17,810 --> 00:04:20,090
You have a delicious
little stammer.

45
00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:24,850
It's never been called that before.

46
00:04:26,530 --> 00:04:28,388
You keep a diary?

47
00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:30,128
Doesn't everyone?

48
00:04:30,130 --> 00:04:32,208
Do you know what I think?

49
00:04:32,610 --> 00:04:36,168
You should put a thick line through
all those boring appointments

50
00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:39,490
and write, "off to Scotland
with Captain Campbell."

51
00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:42,490
Should I?

52
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:45,154
You can join me while I take
care of some family business.

53
00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:48,690
I'll be a perfect gentleman.

54
00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:51,890
In that case I'll stay at home.

55
00:05:56,610 --> 00:05:58,768
Yvonne!

56
00:05:58,770 --> 00:06:02,448
Margaret. Yvonne McPherson my
wonderful assistant.

57
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:04,808
Woman's a bloody godsend.

58
00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:07,050
- Where are they?
- In the library.

59
00:06:09,890 --> 00:06:12,088
I wouldn't come in if I were you.

60
00:06:12,090 --> 00:06:15,368
Place is a play pit,
cold as a morgue.

61
00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:18,570
Take a look around the grounds and
then we'll go for some dinner.

62
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:22,450
Let's see cousin Niall.

63
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,648
I've read so much about you.

64
00:06:25,650 --> 00:06:29,210
Seen your photograph so often
I feel I know you.

65
00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:32,348
Do you?

66
00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:34,290
Yvonne!

67
00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:50,450
Christ I'm dreading this.

68
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:57,848
Hello, Niall.

69
00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:04,650
Really quite incredibly hungry.

70
00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:09,280
Well.

71
00:07:09,305 --> 00:07:11,768
We could sell an island
or maybe some land.

72
00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:15,168
Do it then, but not Tobermory...
Tobermory's off limits,

73
00:07:15,170 --> 00:07:18,448
it's sacrosanct. Sell Tyree or some
of the other land.

74
00:07:18,450 --> 00:07:20,541
It still wouldn't be
enough to cover

75
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:22,888
the cost of essential work
needed to the castle.

76
00:07:22,890 --> 00:07:26,128
We can't even start repairs while
the Duke is still alive.

77
00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:30,128
As he's so fiercely against anything
he perceives as intrusion.

78
00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:32,728
Well, he believes in fairies,
perhaps it would help

79
00:07:32,730 --> 00:07:35,050
if you wore little wings
and carried a wand.

80
00:07:36,370 --> 00:07:40,008
You said you would consider
an income from the estate for me.

81
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:42,728
We discussed it and we agreed.

82
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:45,848
You're princes among men, how much?

83
00:07:45,850 --> 00:07:48,970
£1,500 a year for
the term of your life.

84
00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:53,330
£1,500?

85
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:58,288
I'd earn more selling my arsehole
on the Glasgow docks.

86
00:07:58,290 --> 00:07:59,768
Well, if you don't want it.

87
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:02,690
Jesus wept, fine.
I don't have a choice, do I?

88
00:08:08,090 --> 00:08:09,928
When do I get it?

89
00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:12,130
When you inherit
the Duchy of Argyll.

90
00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:19,568
Give all those pieces of paper
to Mrs McPherson,

91
00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:21,490
I don't have time for them.

92
00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:40,708
I'm done.

93
00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:42,890
What does this mean?

94
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,850
Forget not.

95
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:53,130
It's beautiful.

96
00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:57,010
You didn't tell me it was
so beautiful.

97
00:09:59,370 --> 00:10:02,128
It's a pile.

98
00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:05,010
Just needs love and attention.

99
00:10:07,530 --> 00:10:09,370
She's just neglected.

100
00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:14,294
_

101
00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:17,970
Margaret, it's so good to see you.

102
00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,728
You don't have to be here.

103
00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:25,290
- We don't have to sign it together.
- I made mistakes.

104
00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:29,250
- It's not too late.
- Charlie.

105
00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:32,270
It is.

106
00:10:48,545 --> 00:10:50,545
_

107
00:10:50,570 --> 00:10:52,768
We'll always be friends.

108
00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:54,250
Always.

109
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,170
Write to the children.

110
00:11:03,170 --> 00:11:06,368
It's important that they know you
love them.

111
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:08,690
You can never tell a child it's
loved too much.

112
00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:13,250
Bye, darling.

113
00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,768
Charlie cried like a baby.

114
00:11:48,770 --> 00:11:50,210
Poor thing.

115
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,490
He cried and he cried.

116
00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:58,008
He said he could never love anyone
the way he loved me.

117
00:11:58,010 --> 00:11:59,363
We don't have to go you know,

118
00:11:59,388 --> 00:12:01,674
we could just go for a
girl's dinner somewhere.

119
00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:04,988
Course we have to go.

120
00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:08,088
Imagine the talk if
I don't turn up.

121
00:12:08,090 --> 00:12:09,768
There's already been talk.

122
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:12,728
Your jaunt the Highlands
with rugged Captain Campbell,

123
00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:14,328
that's curdling some milk.

124
00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:15,908
Is it?

125
00:12:16,410 --> 00:12:17,808
What do you know about him?

126
00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:20,168
Terrible time with those
bloody Nazis.

127
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:23,848
Locked up in one of their horrendous
prisoner of war camps.

128
00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:26,128
Men being operated on
with no anaesthetic

129
00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:28,608
to see how long they last,
that sort of thing.

130
00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:30,928
Christ, poor man.

131
00:12:30,930 --> 00:12:32,888
He never said anything about that.

132
00:12:32,890 --> 00:12:34,928
Well, it's not very erotic, is it?

133
00:12:34,930 --> 00:12:37,328
You're not going to fall backwards
onto a chaise longue

134
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:40,008
with tails of torture
and starvation.

135
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,488
I don't know.

136
00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:44,168
- Cheers, darling.
- Come on, tell all.

137
00:12:44,170 --> 00:12:46,248
- There's nothing to tell.
- It's me.

138
00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:48,168
I know it's you, there's
nothing to tell.

139
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:49,488
Because he's married.

140
00:12:49,490 --> 00:12:51,968
There are stories about
Captain Ian Campbell, you know.

141
00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,448
Not war stories, women stories.

142
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:56,888
Diana, darling, there's stories
about me.

143
00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:59,010
I liked him. I liked his castle.

144
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:02,768
Keep your powder dry,
it's not his castle yet.

145
00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:06,128
- Yet. Are they are out there?
- Of course they are.

146
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:08,848
How much do you want to bet Maureen
gets her penis out?

147
00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:12,008
Not a penny.
Maureen always gets her penis out.

148
00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:14,048
Oh...

149
00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:18,248
This way please!

150
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,888
This way.

151
00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:24,488
Congratulations on your divorce.

152
00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:27,448
Now you can grace us with your
beauty again.

153
00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:29,448
How we've missed you.

154
00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:31,448
- Ah, hello.
- Hello.

155
00:13:31,450 --> 00:13:36,448
Oh, everyone hand-picked by moi
to cheer you up.

156
00:13:36,450 --> 00:13:38,528
What a wonderful hostess you
are, Maureen,

157
00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:40,088
you really do think of everything.

158
00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:42,648
Canapes and cock.
Is there anything else?

159
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:44,568
Well, hopefully a dessert.

160
00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:51,850
I know what's going to get this
party started.

161
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:55,448
Here we go.

162
00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:07,850
I think we need another one,
don't we?

163
00:14:09,050 --> 00:14:11,610
Who is going to be the lucky person?

164
00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:16,008
Freddie, come on darling.

165
00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:17,968
All right, then.

166
00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:19,890
Come on, Freddie.

167
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,408
I thought of you the other day.

168
00:17:53,410 --> 00:17:54,688
Mm?

169
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:57,088
I took little Sheridan to
London Zoo.

170
00:17:57,090 --> 00:18:00,448
I arranged for him to have
a tour with one of the keepers.

171
00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,328
Boy's obsessed with animals.

172
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,328
Hmm, I like them myself.

173
00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:06,528
We went to the monkey house.

174
00:18:06,530 --> 00:18:11,368
My dear, those chimps with their
ghastly pink bottoms, just hideous.

175
00:18:11,370 --> 00:18:13,488
They don't know that, do they?

176
00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:15,208
They probably think they look
charming.

177
00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:18,168
There were these other
monkeys, apes,

178
00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:21,088
bonobos, quite fascinating.

179
00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:23,890
Everything they do is about sex.

180
00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:27,768
They meet a new bonobo,
they have sex with them.

181
00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:31,088
Sticking it in and out, dear,
hello, how do you do?

182
00:18:31,090 --> 00:18:35,288
In and out, tossing each other off,
fingering each other,

183
00:18:35,290 --> 00:18:38,608
in and out, in and out nonstop.

184
00:18:38,610 --> 00:18:42,088
It's how they make friends
and I thought,

185
00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:44,208
that's Margaret.

186
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:48,690
In and out, in and out,
Margaret is a bonobo.

187
00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:58,928
It's not my fault that you don't
like it, Maureen,

188
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,850
and that you're not good at it.

189
00:19:02,050 --> 00:19:04,328
I do like it.

190
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:07,450
I like it very much
and I'm extremely good at it.

191
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:10,330
That's not my fault.

192
00:19:11,690 --> 00:19:14,288
Bonobo apes sound
perfectly precious,

193
00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:17,210
I shall have to make a handsome
donation to their welfare.

194
00:19:24,690 --> 00:19:26,770
- Bonjour, ma capitaine.
- Bonjour.

195
00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:36,728
Oh, you're back.

196
00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:39,688
I am, and I got you a present.

197
00:19:39,690 --> 00:19:43,648
Lovely new mink
for my lovely old wife.

198
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,170
Magnificent,
what a picture you look.

199
00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:51,130
Look at us, what fun we're having.

200
00:19:53,330 --> 00:19:55,168
It's too hot for mink.

201
00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:57,730
Well,
it's bloody freezing in Scotland.

202
00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:45,288
Following the death
of Niall Diarmid Campbell,

203
00:20:45,290 --> 00:20:47,648
Captain Ian Douglas Campbell
has been announced as

204
00:20:47,650 --> 00:20:49,648
the 11th Duke of Argyll.

205
00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:52,928
Captain Campbell is a distant cousin
of the tenth Duke

206
00:20:52,930 --> 00:20:56,488
and inherits Inveraray Castle,
where he will now take up residency,

207
00:20:56,490 --> 00:21:01,730
attaining salvage rights to the
Duchy de Florencia in Tobermory Bay.

208
00:21:03,650 --> 00:21:06,128
- Yes.
- Go ahead caller.

209
00:21:06,130 --> 00:21:09,528
Yes, it's for the 11th Duke
of Argyll at the House of Lords.

210
00:21:09,530 --> 00:21:12,050
Congratulations, your grace, stop.

211
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,090
I'm feeling restless, stop.

212
00:21:17,530 --> 00:21:20,170
Come and see me, stop. M, stop.

213
00:22:16,650 --> 00:22:19,528
- That's it?
- Yep.

214
00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:23,448
The Duchy de Florencia,
part of the Spanish Armada,

215
00:22:23,450 --> 00:22:27,528
buried under four centuries
of silt and seaweed.

216
00:22:27,530 --> 00:22:29,450
Shipwreck full of jewels.

217
00:22:31,490 --> 00:22:34,128
It's like finding the Eldorado.

218
00:22:34,130 --> 00:22:36,528
You could almost touch it.

219
00:22:36,530 --> 00:22:39,008
People have tried, previous Dukes.

220
00:22:39,010 --> 00:22:41,810
No-one's managed it yet.
Costs a bloody fortune.

221
00:22:42,890 --> 00:22:43,930
Maybe you will.

222
00:22:43,955 --> 00:22:46,274
Well, it would make
it all seem more real.

223
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:51,970
I wasn't brought up here.

224
00:22:52,970 --> 00:22:54,770
Don't know it, wasn't born to it.

225
00:22:55,770 --> 00:22:59,168
I inherited it all from a distant,
distant cousin...

226
00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:02,208
not a father or even an uncle.

227
00:23:02,210 --> 00:23:04,730
I'm only the Duke because
there was no-one else.

228
00:23:05,890 --> 00:23:07,610
It's only me.

229
00:23:08,730 --> 00:23:10,770
Bit desperate, really.

230
00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:18,690
I don't know.

231
00:23:25,450 --> 00:23:28,010
It's going to rain.
Better head back.

232
00:23:29,610 --> 00:23:31,608
Let's go fast again.

233
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:15,248
I didn't know you were there.

234
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:17,048
Yes, you did.

235
00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:20,330
Yes, I did.

236
00:24:21,570 --> 00:24:23,690
I thought I'd rustle us up
some tea.

237
00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:27,168
Now?

238
00:24:55,570 --> 00:24:57,890
What is it? What is it?

239
00:24:59,090 --> 00:25:01,008
Nothing.

240
00:25:01,010 --> 00:25:02,530
What?

241
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,090
No-one ever sees that.

242
00:25:14,490 --> 00:25:16,210
30 stitches.

243
00:26:04,170 --> 00:26:06,490
You're going to be the one to do it.

244
00:26:08,690 --> 00:26:10,450
To raise a shipwreck.

245
00:26:13,570 --> 00:26:15,650
We're going to do it all.

246
00:26:55,890 --> 00:26:58,448
Yes?

247
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,250
Be my duchess.

248
00:27:20,730 --> 00:27:22,250
We have to promise...

249
00:27:23,930 --> 00:27:27,650
..that we will never ever
bore one another.

250
00:27:29,850 --> 00:27:31,850
I'll do and say many things.

251
00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:37,130
None of them will be boring.

252
00:27:41,770 --> 00:27:43,570
I believe you.

253
00:27:45,890 --> 00:27:47,690
Then, yes.

254
00:27:58,050 --> 00:28:00,330
I think it's time you met
my father.

255
00:28:54,370 --> 00:28:56,210
- Daddy!
- Darling girl.

256
00:28:58,010 --> 00:29:01,408
Ian, this is my father
George William.

257
00:29:01,410 --> 00:29:04,448
Daddy, this is Captain Ian Campbell
the Duke of Argyll.

258
00:29:04,450 --> 00:29:07,648
Oh, none of that antiquated
nonsense... just Ian, please.

259
00:29:07,650 --> 00:29:10,048
Nice to meet you, George.

260
00:29:10,050 --> 00:29:12,008
The Argylls have salvage
rights, Daddy.

261
00:29:12,010 --> 00:29:13,461
Granted by King
James the second.

262
00:29:13,486 --> 00:29:15,168
Yes,
and it's full of Spanish gold.

263
00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:17,368
Oh, and a crown from the Pope.

264
00:29:17,370 --> 00:29:20,248
Imagine the rocks in that...
all just lying there waiting.

265
00:29:20,250 --> 00:29:23,488
Raising it sounds a job...
that's wild water.

266
00:29:23,490 --> 00:29:27,208
Yes, the Royal Navy are sending
their best men out for free.

267
00:29:27,210 --> 00:29:31,328
But don't think I won't be checking
those frogmen for doubloons, though.

268
00:29:31,330 --> 00:29:34,768
Margaret's been telling me
about Inveraray.

269
00:29:34,770 --> 00:29:37,730
My daughter's fallen in love
with your castle.

270
00:29:38,850 --> 00:29:43,408
Well, George, my castle has fallen
in love with her.

271
00:29:43,410 --> 00:29:45,210
Hook, line and sinker.

272
00:29:46,330 --> 00:29:48,050
Can't bear to be without her.

273
00:29:49,050 --> 00:29:52,730
That's why I put that ring on her
finger, statement of intent.

274
00:29:55,850 --> 00:29:57,528
Right, you've made me go all pink.

275
00:29:57,530 --> 00:29:59,248
I'm going to go and talk to Mummy,

276
00:29:59,250 --> 00:30:02,048
leaving my two favourite
men to talk.

277
00:30:06,690 --> 00:30:08,768
Hello, Mummy.

278
00:30:08,770 --> 00:30:10,370
Careful.

279
00:30:28,650 --> 00:30:30,650
Yes, I can see it.

280
00:30:33,730 --> 00:30:35,650
It's an Argyll family heirloom.

281
00:30:37,250 --> 00:30:40,008
It looks like it came
from Woolworths.

282
00:30:40,010 --> 00:30:41,610
Well, it didn't.

283
00:30:44,650 --> 00:30:48,810
I may be trapped in this chair
but I still hear things.

284
00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:53,450
He's a married man.

285
00:30:55,090 --> 00:30:57,090
You're carrying on as if he isn't.

286
00:30:59,770 --> 00:31:05,250
My daughter... an adulteress,
a round heels.

287
00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:10,490
The squalor of it.

288
00:31:14,530 --> 00:31:17,688
It's not adultery if the marriage is
unhappy, it doesn't count.

289
00:31:17,690 --> 00:31:21,530
You should be ashamed of yourself
he's got children, think of them.

290
00:31:23,250 --> 00:31:25,170
I'm in love with him.

291
00:31:28,410 --> 00:31:31,168
Your skin is looking dull.

292
00:31:31,170 --> 00:31:32,808
No, it isn't.

293
00:31:32,810 --> 00:31:36,530
And your jawline's looking... soft.

294
00:31:38,090 --> 00:31:40,330
Getting a few wrinkles.

295
00:31:42,130 --> 00:31:45,650
I'm not getting any wrinkles and
there's nothing wrong with jawline.

296
00:31:46,890 --> 00:31:49,328
I massage my creams in every night
and do my exercises,

297
00:31:49,330 --> 00:31:51,330
just like you taught me.

298
00:31:53,730 --> 00:31:55,530
Why must you always...

299
00:32:00,770 --> 00:32:03,130
..be like this, Mummy?

300
00:32:06,450 --> 00:32:09,010
Could you not say something nice
to me for a change?

301
00:32:17,890 --> 00:32:19,810
I am so lonely.

302
00:32:28,370 --> 00:32:30,968
I think your father has a mistress.

303
00:32:30,970 --> 00:32:33,490
He goes out at night
and leaves me on my own.

304
00:32:34,970 --> 00:32:37,050
Tell him to stay here with me.

305
00:32:41,170 --> 00:32:42,930
He'll listen to you.

306
00:32:48,210 --> 00:32:50,050
Daddy needs company.

307
00:32:53,970 --> 00:32:56,210
He doesn't have a mistress.

308
00:32:58,090 --> 00:33:00,050
He'd never do that to me.

309
00:33:03,010 --> 00:33:05,928
George, you're now a patron of
Clan Campbell

310
00:33:05,930 --> 00:33:08,008
and I'm humbled by your generosity.

311
00:33:08,010 --> 00:33:09,848
I'm a Scot, a proud one.

312
00:33:09,850 --> 00:33:11,946
It's every Scot's
ancestral heritage

313
00:33:11,971 --> 00:33:13,928
and I am honoured
to play my part.

314
00:33:13,930 --> 00:33:18,448
Also, one thing I've... I've let my
London club memberships lapse,

315
00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:20,488
you couldn't help me out at your
place, could you?

316
00:33:20,490 --> 00:33:22,968
I'd be happy to.

317
00:33:22,970 --> 00:33:25,008
Thank you, Daddy.

318
00:33:25,010 --> 00:33:26,850
You've made me so proud.

319
00:34:08,450 --> 00:34:12,608
He did the same thing when we were
married and now it's your turn.

320
00:34:12,610 --> 00:34:15,128
But he does realise that
I can see this,

321
00:34:15,130 --> 00:34:17,488
that his sons will see this.

322
00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:19,850
Their father... with her.

323
00:34:21,370 --> 00:34:24,048
She was engaged to my brother
for a while.

324
00:34:24,050 --> 00:34:26,728
Engaged to just about everyone,
as I understand it.

325
00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:29,370
- Is it true about David Niven?
- That's the rumour.

326
00:34:31,770 --> 00:34:34,008
And Prince Aly Khan?

327
00:34:34,010 --> 00:34:36,090
- Yes.
- Good god.

328
00:34:37,690 --> 00:34:39,530
I'm rather fond of her.

329
00:34:41,250 --> 00:34:43,808
Janet, she's humiliating me.

330
00:34:43,810 --> 00:34:45,490
He's humiliating you.

331
00:34:46,650 --> 00:34:50,208
How can he do this?
How is this fair?

332
00:34:50,210 --> 00:34:51,890
Louise...

333
00:34:52,890 --> 00:34:56,370
Mon cher, Oui-Oui, why carry on like
this?

334
00:34:58,130 --> 00:35:01,370
He's making it easy for you...
divorce him.

335
00:35:02,530 --> 00:35:04,808
Best thing I ever did.

336
00:35:04,810 --> 00:35:06,490
Divorce him.

337
00:35:09,450 --> 00:35:11,650
Ian always gets what he bloody
wants.

338
00:35:13,010 --> 00:35:17,530
And her, I suppose daddy's millions
means that she gets what she wants.

339
00:35:24,410 --> 00:35:29,570
"Dear Margaret, well,
congratulations, you win."

340
00:35:30,610 --> 00:35:31,968
Mummy, mummy.

341
00:35:31,970 --> 00:35:34,448
"I hope you'll be gratified to know
that every detail

342
00:35:34,450 --> 00:35:40,128
"of Ian's public betrayal of me with
you has been unbearably painful.

343
00:35:40,130 --> 00:35:43,250
I'm not a very good tea maker,
I'm afraid.

344
00:35:45,410 --> 00:35:47,328
Welcome to Whites.

345
00:35:47,330 --> 00:35:49,528
Honoured to have you as a member.

346
00:35:49,530 --> 00:35:51,328
Thank you, George.

347
00:35:51,330 --> 00:35:53,568
- A celebratory snifter, I think.
- Hm!

348
00:35:59,170 --> 00:36:01,290
One second.

349
00:36:05,090 --> 00:36:06,930
Charlie Sweeney.

350
00:36:10,450 --> 00:36:12,490
To the victor the spoils, eh?

351
00:36:14,170 --> 00:36:16,848
"Perhaps if I didn't love my sons
so much,

352
00:36:16,850 --> 00:36:20,968
"I would fight harder,
delay the inevitable...

353
00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:24,208
"just to deprive you of your
gloating triumph.

354
00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:27,208
So much money out there just waiting
for us.

355
00:36:27,210 --> 00:36:28,648
Good luck!

356
00:36:28,650 --> 00:36:31,888
- Don't come back until you've found
our treasure! - Good luck.

357
00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:34,208
"But I don't want to drag this out
for them,

358
00:36:34,210 --> 00:36:38,610
"so I'm letting you win and giving
Ian his divorce.

359
00:36:39,770 --> 00:36:42,130
"I hope my pain makes you happy.

360
00:36:43,610 --> 00:36:47,288
"And I hope you never have to know
the agony of having

361
00:36:47,290 --> 00:36:51,728
"your private life laid bare for all
to see.

362
00:36:51,730 --> 00:36:54,768
"Of being paraded for the judgment
of others,

363
00:36:54,770 --> 00:36:57,968
"though knowing a little of your
character,

364
00:36:57,970 --> 00:37:00,848
"I imagine you would welcome
the publicity.

365
00:37:00,850 --> 00:37:03,448
"Sincerely, Louise."

366
00:37:03,450 --> 00:37:06,250
Poor me. God the tedious old horse.

367
00:37:07,330 --> 00:37:09,408
Although, I suppose what can you
expect, really,

368
00:37:09,410 --> 00:37:12,288
from someone who calls themselves
wee-wee.

369
00:37:12,290 --> 00:37:13,768
Oui-Oui.

370
00:37:13,770 --> 00:37:16,448
A nickname only used by
close friends

371
00:37:16,450 --> 00:37:19,408
and you, my darling, are never
going to be one of those.

372
00:37:19,410 --> 00:37:21,928
Oh, she doesn't know what she's
missing, does she?

373
00:37:21,930 --> 00:37:24,008
I'm delightful.

374
00:37:24,010 --> 00:37:25,970
Poor old wee-wee.

375
00:37:27,090 --> 00:37:31,730
- Oui-Oui. - Yes, Diana darling,
that's what I said, wee-wee.

376
00:37:32,770 --> 00:37:34,928
Shall we have Jeanie in the middle,
what do you think?

377
00:37:34,930 --> 00:37:36,968
No, I think two girls together is
a terrible idea.

378
00:37:36,970 --> 00:37:39,848
Oh, right, your children behind you,
mind behind me, one happy family.

379
00:37:39,850 --> 00:37:41,608
Chest out, back straight.

380
00:37:41,610 --> 00:37:43,648
No, you come closer,
I think he needs to come.

381
00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:48,448
Move Colin, right back, here, all
right. And Jeanne you, you...

382
00:37:48,450 --> 00:37:52,728
- Just there sweetheart.
- Should... Shoulders back.

383
00:37:52,730 --> 00:37:55,330
Everybody ready? It's not a funeral,
you can smile.

384
00:37:57,690 --> 00:38:00,130
- Are you going to hold my hand?
- I suppose I should.

385
00:38:01,530 --> 00:38:03,610
Everybody tense up.

386
00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:17,288
Hello.

387
00:38:21,050 --> 00:38:23,048
Thank you.

388
00:38:23,050 --> 00:38:25,448
Thank you so much.
Thank you.

389
00:38:25,450 --> 00:38:27,490
- Welcome, your grace!
- Thank you.

390
00:38:29,130 --> 00:38:30,570
Shall we?

391
00:38:31,770 --> 00:38:33,408
I'm going to carry you.

392
00:38:33,410 --> 00:38:35,568
- What? - I'm going to carry
you across the threshold.

393
00:38:35,570 --> 00:38:36,770
Oh, no, Ian, please.

394
00:38:36,795 --> 00:38:40,368
The Duke of Argyll will carry
his Duchess into Inveraray Castle.

395
00:38:40,370 --> 00:38:43,008
Come on, up you come.

396
00:38:43,010 --> 00:38:47,008
Oh, my God! It's like carrying
a piece of wood.

397
00:38:47,010 --> 00:38:49,448
I'm sorry but I just...
I don't like it.

398
00:38:49,450 --> 00:38:51,488
I can't put you down,
everybody's looking.

399
00:38:51,490 --> 00:38:54,128
- Oh, no, you're going to drop me.
- I'm not going to fucking drop you.

400
00:38:54,130 --> 00:38:56,370
No, can you please put me
down. Please?

401
00:39:00,330 --> 00:39:01,850
Ian.

402
00:39:06,810 --> 00:39:09,330
There you're down. Happy?

403
00:39:14,050 --> 00:39:17,488
Thank you so much for that
wonderful reception.

404
00:39:17,490 --> 00:39:20,530
We'll have champagne
and cake inside.

405
00:40:20,090 --> 00:40:22,608
So, it's just to take this
whole suite,

406
00:40:22,610 --> 00:40:26,248
through that door and up to the
second floor bathroom.

407
00:40:26,250 --> 00:40:29,248
It's very delicate, so you might
need some help.

408
00:40:29,250 --> 00:40:30,770
Hello.

409
00:40:38,250 --> 00:40:40,210
Now I'm all confused.

410
00:41:37,530 --> 00:41:39,357
- Father.
- Father.

411
00:41:39,382 --> 00:41:40,334
Ian.

412
00:41:42,450 --> 00:41:44,688
Colin. Other hand.

413
00:41:44,690 --> 00:41:46,290
Look me in the eyes.

414
00:41:47,370 --> 00:41:50,408
Mm, we're so happy that
you're here.

415
00:41:50,410 --> 00:41:52,888
Mwah. Such handsome boys!

416
00:41:52,890 --> 00:41:54,928
We've got so much to show you.

417
00:41:54,930 --> 00:41:59,808
- Mm. - Your rooms are all ready
and we've got toast and cake

418
00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:02,250
and my little doggie can't wait
to make friends.

419
00:42:08,450 --> 00:42:11,168
- Right, we'll I'm going for a walk.
- What? They've only just got here.

420
00:42:11,170 --> 00:42:13,848
I know. Give you a chance to get
to know each other.

421
00:42:13,850 --> 00:42:15,810
Better without me, I think.

422
00:42:26,730 --> 00:42:29,768
- Where's my father?
- Still on his walk.

423
00:42:29,770 --> 00:42:31,968
Has he had an accident?

424
00:42:31,970 --> 00:42:34,608
- He might've fallen.
- No, of course not.

425
00:42:34,610 --> 00:42:36,808
He knows the countryside
around here.

426
00:42:36,810 --> 00:42:39,088
Belongs to him.

427
00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:40,770
He hasn't fallen anywhere.

428
00:42:41,890 --> 00:42:43,770
He's just lost track of time.

429
00:42:51,570 --> 00:42:55,410
Boys, I know how hard it is
to share your daddy.

430
00:42:56,490 --> 00:42:59,648
I used to hate sharing my daddy
with anyone.

431
00:42:59,650 --> 00:43:02,530
We don't call him daddy...
we call him father.

432
00:43:04,850 --> 00:43:06,290
Right.

433
00:43:12,570 --> 00:43:16,288
When I was a little girl,
I was rather lonely

434
00:43:16,290 --> 00:43:18,410
and my daddy got me two puppies.

435
00:43:19,410 --> 00:43:22,210
And they were such lovely company,
always so cheerful.

436
00:43:24,530 --> 00:43:28,008
Would you both like a puppy to be
your friend while you're here?

437
00:43:28,010 --> 00:43:30,288
What would happen when we
weren't here?

438
00:43:30,290 --> 00:43:31,850
Well, I'd look after it.

439
00:43:33,290 --> 00:43:35,848
I love dogs.

440
00:43:35,850 --> 00:43:39,088
And you could write it letters from
school and I could read them out

441
00:43:39,090 --> 00:43:42,408
and your little puppy would know
exactly what you've been up to.

442
00:43:42,410 --> 00:43:45,610
Dogs can't understand what you say,
that's stupid.

443
00:43:50,450 --> 00:43:52,808
It's just an idea.

444
00:43:52,810 --> 00:43:54,570
We want to be excused.

445
00:43:55,810 --> 00:44:00,088
Do you know, maybe I should send
some men out to look for your daddy?

446
00:44:00,090 --> 00:44:01,190
He's our father!

447
00:44:01,215 --> 00:44:04,488
I heard there were two
young gentlemen still awake.

448
00:44:04,490 --> 00:44:07,168
Colin, you should be in bed.
So should you, Ian.

449
00:44:07,170 --> 00:44:08,608
They were waiting for you.

450
00:44:08,610 --> 00:44:11,328
Ian was worried that you'd fallen
down a mountain.

451
00:44:11,330 --> 00:44:14,968
- Really? - No, I wasn't.
You own all this countryside,

452
00:44:14,970 --> 00:44:16,688
you never fall down anywhere.

453
00:44:16,690 --> 00:44:18,208
Damn right.

454
00:44:18,210 --> 00:44:20,330
Only cretins fall down mountains.

455
00:44:22,090 --> 00:44:24,170
All right, come on bed.

456
00:45:27,450 --> 00:45:29,088
Ian?

457
00:45:38,050 --> 00:45:39,690
Ian?

458
00:45:42,330 --> 00:45:44,410
Ian, why have you locked the
door?

459
00:45:50,690 --> 00:45:52,810
Ian?

460
00:45:56,370 --> 00:45:58,010
Come to bed.

461
00:46:27,250 --> 00:46:29,250
_

462
00:46:36,050 --> 00:46:38,730
Off you get, naughty boy. Off.

463
00:46:58,500 --> 00:47:00,300
_

464
00:47:00,302 --> 00:47:02,102
_

465
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,000
_

466
00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:25,500
_

467
00:47:30,930 --> 00:47:34,248
You said that the Navy were
supplying the divers

468
00:47:34,250 --> 00:47:37,328
for free because they were
interested in the project.

469
00:47:37,330 --> 00:47:39,410
But that says £6,000.

470
00:47:41,570 --> 00:47:44,448
They're chisellers. Jackals.

471
00:47:44,450 --> 00:47:46,328
The Royal Navy are not chisellers.

472
00:47:46,330 --> 00:47:48,848
Well, then they're arseholes.

473
00:47:48,850 --> 00:47:51,490
And what mink coat from Worth?

474
00:47:54,930 --> 00:47:57,810
Oh, I bought that for Oui-Oui.

475
00:47:59,690 --> 00:48:01,730
- Did you?
- Mm-hm.

476
00:48:08,490 --> 00:48:10,928
Well, you didn't buy it, Ian,

477
00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:14,608
because they've issued a
writ for £4,000 and...

478
00:48:14,610 --> 00:48:16,448
..that's £10,000 altogether.

479
00:48:16,450 --> 00:48:19,088
Why are you being such
a fucking wife?

480
00:48:19,090 --> 00:48:20,970
- Honestly.
- I'm not...

481
00:48:23,410 --> 00:48:24,248
..being...

482
00:48:24,273 --> 00:48:26,008
- Oh, God.
- ..a wife.

483
00:48:26,010 --> 00:48:28,970
It's a lot of money, on top
of everything else.

484
00:48:31,610 --> 00:48:33,648
This is serious Ian,
those are writs.

485
00:48:33,650 --> 00:48:36,488
So, let them come for me,

486
00:48:36,490 --> 00:48:40,488
I'll kill myself and that'll get rid
of the problem.

487
00:48:40,490 --> 00:48:42,928
Can't take a corpse to court.

488
00:48:42,930 --> 00:48:45,088
For God's sake.

489
00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:46,410
Look.

490
00:48:48,090 --> 00:48:50,770
- I'll pay them both this time.
- Mm.

491
00:48:52,410 --> 00:48:55,328
But it's galling in the extreme
to think that I'm paying

492
00:48:55,330 --> 00:48:57,730
for Oui-Oui's mink.

493
00:49:04,330 --> 00:49:06,408
I want to clear up this library.

494
00:49:06,410 --> 00:49:09,488
- All these papers.
- You do not touch those.

495
00:49:09,490 --> 00:49:12,768
Those are my cousin Niall's papers,
they're his work,

496
00:49:12,770 --> 00:49:14,368
they're heirlooms.

497
00:49:14,370 --> 00:49:16,850
Ian, it's rubbish.

498
00:49:19,050 --> 00:49:22,008
You wouldn't know a serious academic
work if it came up

499
00:49:22,010 --> 00:49:24,010
and bit you on your fanny.

500
00:49:26,570 --> 00:49:30,010
Those are an act of thought,
of inquiry...

501
00:49:32,250 --> 00:49:36,850
..creation, what have you ever
created in your entire life?

502
00:49:38,770 --> 00:49:40,690
Except you.

503
00:49:41,690 --> 00:49:44,848
And who else exactly am I supposed
to have created?

504
00:49:44,850 --> 00:49:46,968
And I made two beautiful children.

505
00:49:46,970 --> 00:49:50,610
Mm, marvellous job you've done
there, they're completely spoiled.

506
00:49:54,010 --> 00:49:55,290
How...

507
00:49:56,770 --> 00:50:00,450
How d-d-d-d-d-dare I perhaps?

508
00:50:02,410 --> 00:50:04,928
Here's a thought, Margaret.

509
00:50:04,930 --> 00:50:08,368
Pay the b-b-b-b-bills.

510
00:50:08,370 --> 00:50:10,290
It's what you're for.

511
00:50:36,530 --> 00:50:38,128
Excuse me, your grace.

512
00:50:38,130 --> 00:50:40,170
Thank you, Mr Casey.

513
00:50:51,090 --> 00:50:52,770
Um, I'm a monster.

514
00:50:56,450 --> 00:50:58,090
And a bastard.

515
00:51:00,410 --> 00:51:02,290
And I'm sorry.

516
00:51:05,970 --> 00:51:08,330
And I know I would be nothing
without you.

517
00:51:14,130 --> 00:51:15,770
Forgive me.

518
00:51:19,530 --> 00:51:21,610
How many men did I marry?

519
00:51:25,690 --> 00:51:30,170
Every morning, I wonder which Ian
I'm going to wake up to.

520
00:51:48,210 --> 00:51:50,330
Just trim those...

521
00:52:12,370 --> 00:52:15,048
- Maureen.
- Darling.

522
00:52:15,050 --> 00:52:18,328
- How are you?
- Very well.

523
00:52:18,330 --> 00:52:24,010
Oh, every inch the Duchess,
as if you'd been born to it.

524
00:52:25,250 --> 00:52:29,408
What a triumph, darling!
It's... it's all exquisite.

525
00:52:29,410 --> 00:52:32,608
- You should be very proud.
- Mm, I am.

526
00:52:32,610 --> 00:52:34,968
I didn't know that people had
started arriving yet.

527
00:52:34,970 --> 00:52:37,328
Oh, well, we have.

528
00:52:37,330 --> 00:52:39,728
Little old me and, uh,
a special someone

529
00:52:39,730 --> 00:52:41,850
I didn't think you were
expecting.

530
00:53:00,330 --> 00:53:03,768
Oui-Oui, how lovely to see you.

531
00:53:03,770 --> 00:53:05,968
- Oui-Oui.
- That's what I said.

532
00:53:05,970 --> 00:53:09,528
Glorious mink, I think I bought it.

533
00:53:09,530 --> 00:53:11,688
Oui-Oui.

534
00:53:11,690 --> 00:53:13,768
You made it. Marvellous!

535
00:53:13,770 --> 00:53:16,448
What do you think of the old place?

536
00:53:16,450 --> 00:53:18,490
Can you picture yourself here?

537
00:53:20,170 --> 00:53:24,728
Why don't you get yourself
a glass of champagne

538
00:53:24,730 --> 00:53:27,208
and have a poke around and
then cast a beady eye

539
00:53:27,210 --> 00:53:29,370
over the fixtures and
fittings.

540
00:53:37,770 --> 00:53:39,850
Well, she's looking rather good,
isn't she?

541
00:53:42,650 --> 00:53:44,210
What?

542
00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:47,408
Did you invite her?

543
00:53:47,410 --> 00:53:49,728
But, darling, Louise is the mother
of my heir,

544
00:53:49,730 --> 00:53:51,448
it needs her stamp of approval.

545
00:53:51,450 --> 00:53:53,328
And you didn't consider that
it might upset me

546
00:53:53,330 --> 00:53:55,448
when I've put so much work
into this day?

547
00:53:55,450 --> 00:53:58,048
I didn't give you a second thought.

548
00:53:58,050 --> 00:53:59,810
- Your grace.
- Oh, no.

549
00:54:02,490 --> 00:54:05,128
What did you mean, can she see
herself here?

550
00:54:05,130 --> 00:54:07,848
Oh, not now obviously.

551
00:54:07,850 --> 00:54:10,448
Couldn't be under the same roof for
more than a couple of hours,

552
00:54:10,450 --> 00:54:14,088
but later, when I die,
my son will be Duke.

553
00:54:14,090 --> 00:54:16,848
It'll be up to him and it's
traditional to have one's old mum

554
00:54:16,850 --> 00:54:18,970
rattling around in one of the wings.

555
00:54:21,490 --> 00:54:24,130
And what happens
to me when you die?

556
00:54:25,210 --> 00:54:27,568
Well, I imagine you'll be sad
for a little bit

557
00:54:27,570 --> 00:54:31,208
but then you'll marry some ghastly banker
and off to Monaco you'll pop.

558
00:54:31,210 --> 00:54:34,408
No, Ian, what happens to me in
Inveraray?

559
00:54:34,410 --> 00:54:37,328
The home that I've built,
what happens?

560
00:54:37,330 --> 00:54:41,290
Well, that will also be up to my son
and he's very fond of his mother.

561
00:54:46,490 --> 00:54:48,848
Does this mean I've got
to make friends with her?

562
00:54:48,850 --> 00:54:50,890
I think it might help, yes.

563
00:54:52,770 --> 00:54:55,728
- Then that's what I'll do.
- That's the spirit.

564
00:54:55,730 --> 00:54:58,528
By the time I'm finished with her,
she's going to adore me.

565
00:54:58,530 --> 00:55:00,608
If she doesn't stab you in the neck
while you sleep

566
00:55:00,610 --> 00:55:02,370
I'd call that a triumph.

567
00:55:03,370 --> 00:55:05,770
Oh, here they come.
Shall we, your grace?

568
00:55:20,450 --> 00:55:22,608
Margaret.

569
00:55:22,610 --> 00:55:24,730
Don't push her in
the lake or anything.

570
00:55:25,810 --> 00:55:27,490
Of course I won't.

571
00:55:29,410 --> 00:55:31,250
Promise.

572
00:56:20,690 --> 00:56:22,888
Congratulations!

573
00:56:22,890 --> 00:56:23,618
Speech!

574
00:56:23,643 --> 00:56:25,514
- Speech!
- Speech!

575
00:56:27,770 --> 00:56:30,848
It's been one of the greatest
privileges of my life

576
00:56:30,850 --> 00:56:34,650
to restore Inveraray Castle to such
magnificent grandeur.

577
00:56:36,010 --> 00:56:40,770
An enduring legacy for my husband
the Duke of Argyll and his heirs.

578
00:56:42,210 --> 00:56:43,970
Yes, indeed!

579
00:57:49,970 --> 00:57:51,608
"I love you so much.

580
00:57:51,610 --> 00:57:54,448
"I am so happy my sons are yours,
not Ian's.

581
00:57:54,450 --> 00:57:56,250
"Your own, Louise."

582
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:17,000
*CREDITS*