1 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,929 Patrick looked into the hole with dismay. 2 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:16,015 After the ground ate Holden, nobody saw him ever... 3 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,600 Broth! Stop narrating! 4 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,811 Again. Okay! I'll stop! 5 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,438 Broth promised, turning to Barry and winking. 6 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:25,025 - Broth was everyone's favorite character.- Broth! 7 00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,407 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! 8 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,709 Princess Blossom! 9 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,672 Get off of me, tunnel trash! 10 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,968 Ah! Put your back into it! 11 00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:56,430 Oh god! 12 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,141 This is it! All my chickens are coming home to roost! 13 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,143 It's clearly not a chicken, Patrick. 14 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,771 Chickens don't make me shit down both pant legs! 15 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,147 I mean it's my fault! 16 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:08,610 The leprechaun warned me not to take the cursed gems. 17 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,654 Leprechaun? I forgot we even did that. 18 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,824 We have a lot of adventures. 19 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,201 Fuck off! 20 00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:19,287 Stop standing around talking about chickens and leprechauns 21 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,582 and help me curb stomp this freak! 22 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:33,844 It's over here. On the count of three. One... 23 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:35,887 Two... 24 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,806 Whack! 25 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,527 Uh, Princess? It's dead. 26 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,240 Wait for me! 27 00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:03,683 CREDITS 28 00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:10,378 _ 29 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,508 Look at me now, Randy! 30 00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:17,178 I've got a big castle, and you've got a little castle 31 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,889 'cause you're a sad little man! 32 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,016 Who's there? 33 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:25,019 It's Patrick, sire! And we have a major problem! 34 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,189 "It's Patrick, sire, and we have a major problem" who? 35 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:30,900 There are mole people underground, 36 00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,318 and they're coming to kill us all! 37 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,279 That's just a popular novelty song. 38 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,989 Here's the real major problem. 39 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,743 I'm a drunk widdle baby, and baby needs pizza. 40 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,453 But, we're all in danger! 41 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,622 No, you're in danger 42 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,625 of making this drunk baby very angry. 43 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,503 Now, order me up some 'za. 44 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:53,631 'Za... 45 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,842 - Ah! - Ah, yes. That's right. 46 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,804 Add an order of garlic knots! 47 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,393 The king won't listen. 48 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:08,271 - We need to go straight to the knights. - Yeah. Those knights have seen it all, 49 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:11,315 done it all, and brought home the X-rated souvenir snow globe to prove it. 50 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,402 Right? Sir Blemish has an encyclopedic knowledge of drainage systems. 51 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,821 And Sir Styles taught us to fight murderous woodland creatures. 52 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:20,117 I don't know the others very well, but they seem to work out a lot! 53 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,828 Gimme your candy, papier-mâché Keefer! 54 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,080 Wait up! My mallet has a taste for blood, 55 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,125 and it's thirsty for more! 56 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,461 Are you my pizza? 57 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,088 Yes! I'm Pete, sir! 58 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:37,508 I'm not getting sucked into that conversation. Oh no. 59 00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,010 I know who will help me. 60 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:43,014 Dear God, it's me, Merriman. If my pizza is downstairs, 61 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:46,559 flash lightning once. If my pizza is not downstairs, 62 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,311 flash twice. 63 00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:50,272 Oh, oh... What the... 64 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,065 I'm trying to sleep! 65 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,027 What the... 66 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,120 Fuck you, Randy! 67 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,890 _ 68 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,457 You stay out here, I'll go in. 69 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,835 Why? So you can say hi to your mom? Oh! 70 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,546 - Got it! - Very nice. 71 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,174 I don't love the way you two are bonding. 72 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,638 Aw... 73 00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:25,223 They had the best coffee. 74 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,518 You're alive! 75 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,898 Aw. They had the best croissants. 76 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,070 Merriman! What's going on? 77 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,823 Honey, I-I'm not a fan of the new lingerie. 78 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,450 It's very pointy. 79 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,286 Oh! Hey, hey, hey! That's my no-no area. 80 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,872 Is this a weird sex thing? I don't hate it. 81 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:53,502 Oh, so now, you're open to doing weird sex things. 82 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,178 - Oh! - Oh my! 83 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,639 My parents are down there somewhere, 84 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,933 getting their blood sucked out by moles! 85 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:11,185 - That's karma for you. - Oh god. 86 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,271 You're right! None of this would be happening 87 00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:16,148 - if I hadn't taken those cursed gems. - Cursed gems? 88 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,484 It's karma biting the king in the ass! 89 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,070 Merriman drilled miles of tunnels with no plan, 90 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:23,990 and now sinkholes are swallowing up everything in sight. 91 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,033 That is a sane and reasonable conclusion, 92 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,785 but I'm afraid the truth 93 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,413 will chill you to the bone. 94 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,540 It was mole people! 95 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:35,085 People... people... people... 96 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,922 - Mole people! - And-and what exactly is 97 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,759 - a mole people? - This is a mole people. 98 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,345 Whoa! Shit. 99 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,307 This is a mole people! 100 00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:50,893 Ooh, that's fun! 101 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,816 - Princess! Get back! - Ha, ha! 102 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,707 How bad is it? 103 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:15,708 Ah! 104 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,170 Oh, someone just kill me! 105 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,299 Ah! Ah! Ah! Bit tender. 106 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,676 - Bit tender. - Fighting those things underground 107 00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:29,180 would be suicidal. We're gonna flood the sons of bitches. 108 00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:31,057 - That sounds cool. - Hella cool. 109 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,184 We'll blow up the dam, and anything underground 110 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,478 can butt-chug the entire Kingstown River. 111 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,730 - What about my mom and dad? - The princess is right. 112 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,398 They could still be alive. 113 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,526 Shouldn't we be making every effort to find them 114 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,736 before we do something so drastic? 115 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,447 I once saw the king lose a fight to a chaise lounge 116 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,950 that was, quote, "making fun of him." 117 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:50,910 There's no chance they're alive! 118 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,995 Blowing the dam solves the problem. 119 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,414 Well, it doesn't solve my problem. 120 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,333 With Mom and Dad gone, I'm in charge, 121 00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:00,211 so I command you pussies to go down there and find them! 122 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:03,464 Your Highness, you're not old enough or hot enough to tell us what to do. 123 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:06,050 The military's in charge until a regent is named. 124 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,636 Then I'm going down there myself! 125 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,471 And I hope I get killed, 126 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:13,391 so everyone knows that my shitty knights wouldn't go with me. 127 00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:15,184 Your Highness, don't be foolish. 128 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:18,062 She's not being foolish. Huh? 129 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:21,315 This is the worst crisis to ever hit our kingdom, 130 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,944 and I keep waiting for you to act like the knights I grew up reading about. 131 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,864 Storybook bullshit! 132 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,657 Is there not one hero among you? 133 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,576 Would you shut up about heroes?! 134 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,579 Look at my fucking face! 135 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,874 Know what? I stole those gems. 136 00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,709 I started us down this path. 137 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,502 I've gotta go down there. 138 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,880 I just never thought it'd be a question 139 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:46,841 whether the realm's sworn protectors went with me. 140 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,177 Alright, Patrick, enough preachy-preachy. 141 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,970 You wanna go down into the jaws of Hell? 142 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,432 I'll give you one hour before I blow the dam. 143 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:55,767 Fair? 144 00:07:56,268 --> 00:08:00,105 I'll take it. I wish I had you by my side, but I'll take it. 145 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,903 - You in? - Hell yeah. Dying underground, 146 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:08,404 eaten by backyard pests? 147 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,240 That's the hero's death I've been craving. 148 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,076 Thanks, Patrick. 149 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,661 Not so fast, Princess. 150 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:19,248 You're not allowed anywhere without an escort knight. Rules are rules. 151 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,000 Fine. Give me one of yours. 152 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,336 Absolutely not. 153 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,712 Oh yeah? If I need a knight so bad, 154 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,757 maybe I'll fucking make one! 155 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:31,386 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Is this really happening? 156 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,020 Ah... 157 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,397 Boop, boop, you're a knight. Okay, let's go, Sir Patrick. 158 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,774 Sir Patrick... Sir Patrick... 159 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:47,693 So, I'm a knight now... 160 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,946 This is such an honor... 161 00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,906 - Boop, boop. You're a knight, too. - Wait, what? 162 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:54,367 Wow! I mean, about time, huh? 163 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,452 There's so many people I wanna thank. Uh... 164 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,497 Boop, boop! I'm a knight! Come on! 165 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:01,707 Great, fine, whatever. 166 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,378 Hope you make it back to the surface before we start the Drownening. 167 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,256 Good luck, Sir Patrick. 168 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,887 Aw, I hope we don't miss the Drownening. 169 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,852 Okay, so here's the plan. We're gonna avoid the moles, 170 00:09:20,853 --> 00:09:22,728 find the king and queen, and get out. 171 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,982 Watch for my signal, and be very quiet. 172 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,317 - Broth, wanna have a screaming contest? - Yes. 173 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,029 No! 174 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,616 Jeez, Patrick! Reckless! 175 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,577 I hear something! 176 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,705 It's probably something good and not bad. 177 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,346 There! 178 00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,145 Yah! 179 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,026 Oh... 180 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,716 - Huh? - Okay... 181 00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:52,027 Patrick, I think we can take 'em. 182 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,702 You know what? I did the math wrong. We absolutely cannot take them. 183 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,459 Show yourselves at once! 184 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,838 O-or at a time and place of your choosing. 185 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,759 The important thing is that you feel comfortable. 186 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,526 Oh... 187 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,945 My... 188 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:36,864 God! 189 00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:42,785 Oh, you are so cute! 190 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:46,289 Aw, who's a little pumpkin pie? 191 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,375 You are. Your new name is Blossom Junior. 192 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,129 - Yes, it is. - They could still be dangerous. 193 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,715 Should we hack these babies to death as a power move? 194 00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:59,385 - Say the word, Patrick. - There are so many. 195 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,429 Who knows how long they've been down here, 196 00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:04,515 and they only attacked us after we drilled into their habitat. 197 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,602 Like the capitalist pigs we are. 198 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,895 What if they're peaceful? 199 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:12,191 If only there was a way to talk to them. 200 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:19,489 I. Am. Patrick. 201 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,414 Hm. Human and mole. 202 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,166 - Belching in harmony. - No. 203 00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:33,462 I think it means there's a way for us to communicate. 204 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:44,096 Could this gem transmit knowledge of the mole language 205 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,973 directly into my brain? 206 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:49,560 Is this science so far beyond our human understanding 207 00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:52,397 that it seems to us not unlike magic? 208 00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,234 Ah! 209 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,324 What the... 210 00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,119 Oh! 211 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:16,170 What is that, French? Make the switch to English. 212 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,214 It's the future, baby. No accent marks, 213 00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:20,299 and we pull spellings right out of our ass. 214 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,303 In the army, guess how we spell "colonel." Just fuckin' try. 215 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:32,311 Oh, I see what this is about. 216 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,647 Fine, fine. Yeah, I'll sign up for the timeshare. 217 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:37,483 Jesus Crumb. Who do I have to finger bang 218 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,652 to cut a deal around here? I have no allegiances, 219 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,153 and am willing to flip sides, 220 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,781 both legally and sexually. 221 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:46,827 Patrick? 222 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,330 Patrick. 223 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:54,876 Patrick, my name is Todd. I'm kinda the public relations guy down here. 224 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,670 - Let me help you up. - Thanks, Todd. 225 00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,214 Um, who's Todd? 226 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,551 Wait! Todd, I can understand you! 227 00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:10,349 Ho, ho! 228 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,476 They broke Patrick! 229 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,353 The blow to the head affected your hearing. 230 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:18,024 Now, our high-pitched voices resonate at a tolerable human frequency. 231 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,859 - Ah! - Side effects may include 232 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,986 fucking up your balance. 233 00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,947 We still have time. 234 00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:25,782 Pull! 235 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,452 - Aw. - Looks like time's up! 236 00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:32,330 That felt like an hour, right? 237 00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:35,209 Oh, screw it. It's sand falling through a hole, how accurate can it be? 238 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:39,128 For centuries, we tolerated you surface people throwing trash 239 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,547 and the occasional murder victim down into the big pit. 240 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,966 You mean the bottomless pit? It's not bottomless? 241 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,302 Of course it's not bottomless! We live on a globe! 242 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:49,013 How do you fall forever into a globe and not hit something? 243 00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:52,141 Never mind that. When you started invading our sovereign territory 244 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:54,268 to steal those gems, we had to act. 245 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,979 We sunk several of your surface monuments as warnings. 246 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,106 Several monuments? Which ones? 247 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,317 Let's see. A large pyramid, 248 00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,903 a castle woven entirely from hemp, 249 00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:06,030 and a wholesale mattress warehouse. 250 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:08,449 King Rami, King Topher, Tony Saltine? 251 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,951 Oh, that's gonna be trouble. 252 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,912 We even sent one final warning with your boy made out of stone. 253 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:16,165 Barry! That's why he had all that writing on him! 254 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,792 And so, we had no choice. 255 00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:20,336 Your rulers are on trial for their crimes against our kingdom. 256 00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,004 But none of this happened on purpose! 257 00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:24,006 It was just a bunch of dumb decisions 258 00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:26,092 that kept piling up on top of one another. 259 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,554 Yeah. That's generally how history works. 260 00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:40,147 And that's how you get the word "gunt." 261 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,566 Try doing that in French. 262 00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,109 - Wait! - Oh, thank God! 263 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,152 My garlic knots are finally here. 264 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,988 Mama! Daddy! 265 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,198 - They're alive! - Aw, 266 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:52,159 - no more King Blossom? - Yeah. It's like a good thing happened, 267 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,203 but also a bad thing happened. 268 00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,830 - What's that called? - Bittersweet. 269 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,749 It tastes like shit. 270 00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:01,294 - Who are you? - I'm Patrick. 271 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:03,921 I call myself as a witness for the defense. 272 00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:05,590 Hm, most unusual, 273 00:16:05,591 --> 00:16:08,342 but this is my year of yes. I'll allow it. 274 00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:11,220 - Ooh! This is gonna be good. - Just in time for their execution! 275 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,306 Can anybody else not see anything? 276 00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:15,057 Ruben? Blarney? Coral?! 277 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,684 Kevin? Bee Guy? Holden? 278 00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:19,145 Uh, that's Esteemed Jury Members to you. 279 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,022 Say what you will about these little shits, 280 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,524 but they take "jury of your peers" seriously. 281 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:25,818 Hey, Patrick, did they give you a program? 282 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:29,113 I can't understand this play, like, at all. 283 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:32,700 Patrick, these furries are gonna try and sell you a timeshare. 284 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,162 Stay frosty. They're absolute pros. 285 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,299 Your Honor, my whole life, 286 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,344 I've dreamed of being a knight. 287 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,097 Ah! The boy knows French. 288 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:58,476 Ha! Who says our public schools are the worst rated in the land? 289 00:16:58,477 --> 00:17:00,353 The PTA. 290 00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,230 Anyway, today, that dream 291 00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:04,649 finally came true. I was knighted. 292 00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:07,026 Objection. Relevance, Your Honor? 293 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,153 I'm getting to it. You see, 294 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,239 I always thought it'd be so easy 295 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,533 to know the difference between right and wrong. 296 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,701 But ever since I became a squire, 297 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,829 every day is like choosing between a shit sandwich 298 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,706 and a shit sandwich with cheese. 299 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,167 Objection, Your Honor! Nasty! 300 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:26,588 I stole the gems, Your Honor. 301 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:31,175 I stole them, and I told the king where to dig up more. 302 00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,052 I thought I did it for the right reasons, 303 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:36,639 but it was only to keep my face from getting eaten off by rats. 304 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,182 I knew it was wrong, 305 00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:40,978 but I was looking out for my own interests. 306 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,064 Please let the king and queen go. 307 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,859 I'm the one who knew what I did was wrong. 308 00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:50,695 Please, I want to balance the scales. 309 00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:53,490 Just once, I wanna do the right thing. 310 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:58,619 Some say mole justice moves too swiftly, 311 00:17:58,620 --> 00:17:59,913 but I say... 312 00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:03,499 Patrick is guilty. Merriman and Tulip are free to go. 313 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,960 Patrick took the fall! Damn it. 314 00:18:05,961 --> 00:18:08,504 I guess witness protection is off the table. Ugh! 315 00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:11,632 Broth, Princess! Get everyone to the surface, 316 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:14,594 - and stop the knights from blowing the dam! - Not without 317 00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,680 - my best bro! - No. I want to stay. 318 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,557 I want to own up to my mistakes. 319 00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:21,642 Okay, I couldn't understand a word you said, 320 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:24,645 but you sacrificed yourself for my parents, didn't you? 321 00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,189 - No. I... - That makes you 322 00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:28,192 the best knight I ever knighted. 323 00:18:31,904 --> 00:18:35,324 Now then, let's get to sentencing. 324 00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:39,160 Eh, it's your first offense, I'm thinking community service, 20 hours should do it. 325 00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,453 What? 326 00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:42,121 Oh no. 327 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:45,124 They broke their promise, those fucking knights! 328 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:48,212 It's a flood! Everyone's gotta get out of here now! 329 00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:53,090 Which way is up? We need to go up! 330 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:56,053 Patrick! 331 00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:57,887 - Todd? - Pull this lever 332 00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,514 to go back to the surface, Patrick. 333 00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:02,141 - Todd, wait! Come with us! - Oh, I'm a public relations man, 334 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:05,436 Patrick. My skills will be needed down here, 335 00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:07,563 now more than ever. 336 00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:09,398 - Wait! It's a flood! - Ah! 337 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,234 My skills are useless! 338 00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:13,362 Ah! 339 00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:21,203 This is my first elevator ride! 340 00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,417 Ah! 341 00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:37,468 Yep. This one's definitely dead. 342 00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,846 You couldn't even give me one hour?! 343 00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:42,682 You turned an easy diplomatic solution 344 00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:45,643 into a slaughter out of sheer laziness! 345 00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:47,895 Is that what being a knight means to you? 346 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:51,649 Being a knight means killing first and not thinking about it later. 347 00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:55,069 And if you throw an hourglass at my head again, 348 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:56,904 we're gonna have a problem, Sir Patrick. 349 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,156 Did you just call him Sir Patrick? 350 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,741 I knighted him, Daddy. 351 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,785 You can't knight people. 352 00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:05,413 - That's ridiculous! - Stop undercutting me 353 00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:07,164 in front of the fucking help! 354 00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,251 Come on, Sir Styles, let's go dig up that brothel. 355 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:13,212 I have glass in my face! 356 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,922 Pull it together. 357 00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:16,799 So after all that, I'm not even a knight? 358 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,926 You know what? That's fucking perfect 359 00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:21,762 because I am done! I've had enough of this insane... 360 00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:24,140 Boop, boop, you're a knight. Happy, sweetie? 361 00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:26,684 No! I don't wanna be a knight! 362 00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:29,896 I quit! I resign! I'm out! 363 00:20:29,897 --> 00:20:33,191 You can't quit being a knight. The only way out is death. 364 00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:35,318 But that's not for a long time. 365 00:20:35,319 --> 00:20:38,906 An adult male in this day and age will live well into his late 20s. 366 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:43,577 Nobody panic. That could be the pizza guy. 367 00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:55,588 Well, one of those guys has gotta be the pizza guy. 368 00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:57,090 There's, like, a million of them. 369 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,013 If they're here to help us fight the mole people, 370 00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:05,765 they're gonna feel pretty stupid. 371 00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:08,893 No, sire. The mole people sank their castles 372 00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:11,145 because they couldn't tell us surface people apart. 373 00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,689 - Racist. - That makes me the hero 374 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,149 who defeated the mole people. 375 00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:17,652 That makes us the kingdom that got rich 376 00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:20,363 while the mole people were sinking the wrong people's shit. 377 00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:21,948 Not a great spin. 378 00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:24,367 King Rami's been looking for an excuse to invade. 379 00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:28,329 Now, he has the other kings on his side. We're fucked. 380 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,790 We? I think you mean you. 381 00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:34,336 Kings don't fight wars. Knights do. Go get 'em, Sir Patrick. 382 00:21:36,088 --> 00:21:37,839 Pizza for King Merriman. 383 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,632 Bless the baby Jesus! 384 00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:41,843 I don't see any garlic knots. 385 00:21:41,844 --> 00:21:43,719 Sorry. Rain check on the knots. 386 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,222 Our knot guy's out with a rash. 387 00:21:46,223 --> 00:21:49,642 Unacceptable! Merriman, punish her at once. 388 00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,186 Fine. 389 00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:54,856 Boop, boop, you're a knight. Mm! 390 00:21:54,857 --> 00:21:57,316 Aw, man. I'm a knight now? 391 00:21:57,317 --> 00:22:00,111 I was so close to making manager. 392 00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:03,656 Well, good luck down there, Sir... Kylie. 393 00:22:03,681 --> 00:22:06,559 Goddammit. 394 00:22:15,180 --> 00:22:21,560 CREDITS