1
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:08,466
Ooh, new flags! Vexillology is my hobby.

2
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:11,052
Oh, this is bad, Broth. Really bad.

3
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:13,638
I'm with you, man.
Asymmetry is so last season.

4
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:16,641
And royal blue? Really?
A little on the nose.

5
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,267
Wait, no. What's happening?

6
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:21,229
- The Old King hijacked the throne...
- Jacked it.

7
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,857
- and he's completely nuts!
- Nuts.

8
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,444
I'm sorry. I pathologically
can't take things seriously.

9
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,404
I-I'm sure everything will be just fine.

10
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,490
You there! Jews!

11
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,909
Show your tits or get off my lawn!

12
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,452
Woo!

13
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,829
Patrick, do what he says,
or we won't get the beads.

14
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,832
Ah!

15
00:00:46,449 --> 00:00:49,107
CREDITS

16
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,259
Fools!

17
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:57,599
Behold, your rightful king!

18
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:04,021
Fuck...

19
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:06,315
Why does your ex-girlfriend's
grandpa get to be king?

20
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,359
When is it my turn? I wanna be king!

21
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,653
The Old King was always
supposed to be the king,

22
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,154
but Merriman overthrew him.

23
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,198
Now, the Old King's back, which is bad.

24
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,409
That's all you need to know, Broth.
It's bad.

25
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,744
I am living for this family drama.

26
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,747
I'm honored to be back on the throne.

27
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,750
I plan to restore this
kingdom to greatness.

28
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,879
- He seems cool.
- Uh-huh. Give it a second.

29
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,423
And as your ruler,
I'd like to talk about

30
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,800
the new declarat...

31
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,053
Ew...

32
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:41,559
I hereby declare that if the king...
parentheses me...

33
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,312
pees himself, everyone who sees it...

34
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,565
parentheses you... must also pee!

35
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,776
Under penalty of death!

36
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:52,571
And there it is.

37
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,909
I can't go. I'm pee shy!
Is he gonna kill me?

38
00:01:57,910 --> 00:01:59,619
The other king never
made me piss my pants!

39
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,037
I didn't think I'd ever say this,

40
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:04,081
but this kingdom is in trouble
without Merriman on the throne.

41
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,459
Ah, hell yeah! I love a good
"Patrick saves the day" scheme.

42
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,253
- Let's get Merriman back. What's the plan?
- There's no plan!

43
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:12,633
I'm just a squire!
Regime change is not my department.

44
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:16,928
The sound of your
voice is like a waterfall.

45
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,389
Oh! Yeah. Oh...

46
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:24,435
From public school to this.

47
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,521
Kind of a lateral move.

48
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:29,524
Oh! A man who appreciates fine cuisine.

49
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:32,485
I've always thought that
"ladle" is a sexy word.

50
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,946
Ladle-ladle-ladle-la-
dle-ladle-ladle-ladle.

51
00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:37,156
Mom! What the hell are you doing?

52
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,867
I'm obviously seducing this guard,
so we can get out of here.

53
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:43,329
It won't work, ma'am. All of us
assigned to your watch are eunuchs.

54
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,498
Oh. Is scissoring off the table?

55
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,999
Please don't say scissor.

56
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,419
- I noticed your tunic is still dry.
- Y-yes, sir!

57
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,297
I, um, don't know
how to pee on command...

58
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,299
Well, if you want to be a knight,

59
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,762
you need to learn how to do a lot
of useless stuff on command.

60
00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:02,140
? ? Useless stuff! ?

61
00:03:02,141 --> 00:03:04,892
Kings are going to order you
to do a lot of stupid shit.

62
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,728
As long as you're doing that
stupid shit with your boys,

63
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,355
it's all worth it.

64
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,898
- The brotherhood.
- Sir,

65
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,900
the brotherhood's all I've ever wanted.

66
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,694
Good, good to hear.

67
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:15,862
Now, piss your pants!

68
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,281
Ah! Ah. Ah...

69
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:19,366
Good man.

70
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,120
As you may know, my grandfather

71
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:28,040
has appointed me to be
his top royal advisor.

72
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,251
Are we having taquitos for dinner?

73
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,837
Taquitos are my top royal advisor.

74
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:35,506
Uh, r-right... Which is why

75
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,842
I wanted to talk-ito

76
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,803
about a new policy
that we are working on.

77
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:43,764
I'm bored. When do we watch
the sweaty gladiators

78
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,017
stab each other in the neck?

79
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:48,561
Oh, excellent joke, Your Majesty.

80
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:52,481
N-no, the-the gladiator fights stopped
long ago for being too barbaric.

81
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,943
The safety of our subjects
is of the utmost importance.

82
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,988
The-the loyal subjects, that is.

83
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,407
Pretty sure she wants to kill me.

84
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,577
So, I have recruited
someone very special.

85
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,915
Please welcome my new head of security.

86
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,335
Sir Midnight Darkness X!

87
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:17,423
Six-foot-twelve! 450 pounds!

88
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:21,219
335 confirmed kills!

89
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:24,931
Even his two mothers,
one of whom he calls Carol,

90
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,266
quake in terror at the sound

91
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,185
of his approaching footsteps.

92
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,603
Holy shit!

93
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,190
- It's really him!
- Fucking legendary!

94
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:38,444
- Why did you have that?
- It's my mom's lucky bra.

95
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:41,489
She said to only use it
in case of an emergency.

96
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,617
He will ensure that anyone
who challenges the throne

97
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,537
will be dealt with accordingly.

98
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:50,039
Enough chit-chat. New Bungles.

99
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,791
Dance!

100
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,293
Blarney? You're working here?

101
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,295
I'm the new court jester!

102
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,550
We're coworkers now, dingleberry!

103
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,428
- Patrick, your ex is walking over.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. I can see her.

104
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:07,515
Don't worry. I'll be right here
the whole time. I got your back.

105
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,559
- Fuck off, Broth.
- Bye, Patrick!

106
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,687
Patrick, walk with me.

107
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,857
- Danielle...
- Princess Danielle, cretin.

108
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,650
I should execute you on the spot.

109
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,485
You ruined years of planning,

110
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,737
killed my mother, and nearly killed me!

111
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,532
How does it feel knowing I finally won?

112
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,201
- Uh, bad?
- Well, it makes me horny.

113
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,662
Something about your
crushed little spirits

114
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,622
brings my panties to a boil.

115
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,584
- So, I won't kill you.
- That's a relief.

116
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:38,129
On one condition.
Tell me where Merriman is.

117
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,673
Where's Merriman?

118
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,552
Ask me something easier like
where's the wind?

119
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:48,264
The man's a ghost.
He's everywhere and nowhere at all.

120
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:51,058
You could drop in the middle of
the Serengeti, and 48 hours later,

121
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,977
he'd pop up in the middle
of your bathtub,

122
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,897
ready to shave your legs.

123
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,650
Well, that was... colorful.

124
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:02,612
Look, my regime will never
be seen as legitimate

125
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:05,489
until Merriman is under my control.
I need him back.

126
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,451
I don't know... where... he is?

127
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:12,079
Wow. I should absolutely kill you.

128
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,583
Mm, but then again, the panties thing.

129
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:16,834
Hm...

130
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,545
Maybe a little manual labor
will loosen your tongue.

131
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:23,091
Report to the soup kitchen
tomorrow for peeling duty.

132
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,516
Your stories are fascinating!

133
00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:33,100
Not at all boring.

134
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:36,729
- Tell me more about this ska band.
- Yeah, it was great

135
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,439
before Skanky Hank bailed.

136
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,066
We were almost signed, man.

137
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:43,736
You just need to do
some visualization. Close your eyes.

138
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:47,448
Ah! Now, imagine signing the contract.

139
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:50,368
Skanky Hank isn't there.
He just got syphilis.

140
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,620
Are all those zeros for you?

141
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,455
Yes, yes! They are!

142
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,542
I wouldn't sign that contract yet.

143
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:59,544
Ow! What the hell?

144
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:02,755
Tulip, you are obviously too
dangerous to keep in this dungeon.

145
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,007
Oh no, for the love of Christ!

146
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,510
Don't put me in the other dungeon!

147
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,221
Your sex dungeon?
Oh no, that would be impossible.

148
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:12,723
I'm having it converted into
a children's literacy center.

149
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,059
No! Literate children

150
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,061
talk back twice as hard! Oh...

151
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,814
You will be exiled to
a mid-range island resort.

152
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:23,068
Three and a half out of five stars.
Still under remodel.

153
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:28,030
The mediocrity is worse
than if it were just bad!

154
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,740
My god, you're so dramatic.

155
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,993
Tropical island? I'll pack my things.

156
00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:34,537
Oh no. You're not going.

157
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:37,456
No, no. I have a much more
suitable punishment for you.

158
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,917
Ho, ho! You're gonna kill me?

159
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,503
Fuck! You! I'll shank you, bitch!

160
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,630
Attica! Attica!

161
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,007
Oh no,

162
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,800
I'm not going to kill you.

163
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,637
Some fates are worse than death.

164
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,098
Oh, Blossom!

165
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,654
- Patrick!
- Ah!

166
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,328
Patrick, hey. It's the king. Merriman.

167
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,246
We used to work together, remember?

168
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,956
- I wore this.
- What are you doing?

169
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,459
You're the most wanted man
in the kingdom! If anyone sees you here,

170
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,377
- we're both dead.
- I can't leave until I hear

171
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,213
your "Patrick saves the day" scheme.

172
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:28,382
Why does everyone think
I have a plan for this?

173
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,969
Don't yell at me.
I don't have anywhere else to go...

174
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,096
I'm sorry. I really am glad you're okay.

175
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,140
Everything's crazy with
your dad in charge.

176
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,476
Yeah! I know!
That's why I overthrew him!

177
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,479
I mean, he made 69
the only legal sexual position!

178
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,481
It's like trying to eat ice cream
while someone else

179
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,066
is shoving ice cream in your butt!

180
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:48,194
You don't get to enjoy
the ice cream, Patrick!

181
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,821
And I'm starving.
No one will give me food.

182
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:53,533
- You need money to buy food.
- No one will give me money, either!

183
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,868
Go get a job, so they'll give you money,

184
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,371
then buy food. Food will give you energy

185
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:01,207
to go back to your job to earn
more money to buy more food.

186
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,584
Ah... It's the perfect cycle.

187
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,712
Just make sure to save
some for taxes to give to the king.

188
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,549
What? I work all day to give
my money to some asshole

189
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,801
just because he was born
to the right dad?

190
00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:15,346
This cycle is flawed! Do other people
know how fucked up this all is?

191
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,517
Nope. You're the first person
to ever figure it out.

192
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,352
Here's some food and clean clothes.

193
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,563
Follow the river south to
the village by the woods.

194
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,482
We used to vacation there when I was
little. It's a good place to lay low.

195
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,944
Hold onto this for me. You're the only
one I can trust to take care of him.

196
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:31,696
- Him?
- Goodbye, Crownie.

197
00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:34,324
Goodbye, Merriman. I will miss you.

198
00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:38,245
Oh, Crownie. Don't cry.

199
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:43,166
? You've always been atop my head ?

200
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:46,795
? And I'll adore you till I'm dead ?

201
00:09:46,796 --> 00:09:49,923
? As I sit above the mind ?

202
00:09:49,924 --> 00:09:53,343
? Of a man I find so fine ?

203
00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:55,637
? Oh, together we ?

204
00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,598
? Will always be ?

205
00:09:57,599 --> 00:10:01,185
? Two of a ?

206
00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:03,312
? Kind... ?

207
00:10:03,313 --> 00:10:05,813
How did you... Never mind. Just go. Now.

208
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,481
You know who they're sending after you?

209
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,442
Sir Midnight Darkness X.

210
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,611
Oh, I'm so scared...

211
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,947
Fuck off, Patrick! I'm
built like a tank.

212
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,410
Hm?

213
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:20,661
Oh!

214
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,373
A hobo took my money.

215
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:26,292
Patrick!

216
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,628
- Hi, hon!
- What are you two doing here?

217
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:31,297
Your mother heard about a fancy
new place in this shitty village.

218
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:34,008
Turns out, there's a meal
between breakfast and lunch.

219
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:36,677
It's called blunch, and the champagne

220
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,304
has orange juice in it!

221
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,723
- Can you believe it?
- All hail the new

222
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:43,519
slash old king.

223
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:46,229
Nice chat, you two.
Hope you're walking home.

224
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,481
Blunch, blunch, blunch!

225
00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:52,898
_

226
00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:59,325
Hey, little bro! Did you hear
the kingdom instituted

227
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,327
mandatory Taco Tuesday!

228
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,789
- I'm making queso!
- Come on by! We're hosting!

229
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:06,499
Wow. Free healthcare,

230
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,459
government-enforced family fun?

231
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,671
Maybe the Old King has
his shit together after all.

232
00:11:10,696 --> 00:11:12,189
_

233
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:15,132
Hi! I'm Patrick.
I'm here for peeling duty.

234
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,426
I'm really excited to
make a difference here.

235
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,929
You know, peeling vegetables
for homeless people is...

236
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,473
Vegetables for homeless people?

237
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,017
Nah. You've been assigned

238
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,271
to peel vegetable homeless people.

239
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,021
I'm sorry, what?

240
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,024
The needy gotta eat.
It's the perfect cycle.

241
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,569
You're peeling comatose homeless people

242
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,696
to serve to other homeless people?

243
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,948
It's not that bad.

244
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,741
If you don't think about it.

245
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,786
That doesn't make any sense!
Why would you peel them?!

246
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,413
The husk is mostly dirt.

247
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:48,291
Look, these orders are coming
from the king directly, kid.

248
00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:50,469
It's either do your job or get beheaded.

249
00:11:50,494 --> 00:11:51,623
Hey, Patrick!

250
00:11:51,648 --> 00:11:53,462
Don't worry. They're like lobsters.

251
00:11:53,487 --> 00:11:56,852
I've heard they don't feel a thing.
They do scream though.

252
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,343
Ah!

253
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,180
Ah!

254
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:06,946
_

255
00:12:07,157 --> 00:12:08,625
_

256
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,650
Queso is just melted cheese!

257
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,987
Queso makes a house a home!

258
00:12:19,375 --> 00:12:21,594
_

259
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,207
Well rum?!

260
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,376
It won't stop between
upright and totally flat.

261
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,046
What kind of bullshit...

262
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:40,010
Oh, fine! This is just fine! Fine!

263
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:49,353
Goddamn three-and-a-half-star resort!

264
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,897
I'd love to introduce the three of you

265
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,857
to our new lady-in-waiting.

266
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,734
Come on in, cousin!

267
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,236
Welcome, Blossom.

268
00:12:58,237 --> 00:13:00,530
I believe you already
know the other girls.

269
00:13:00,531 --> 00:13:02,365
Get out of the way, Human Shield!

270
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:05,660
Hey! She's a person,
not a job description.

271
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:09,455
Henceforth, Human Shield
will be known as Human Being.

272
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,874
My name's Meredith.

273
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,292
No one cares.

274
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,128
Now, I've created a new
job for you, Blossom.

275
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,880
"Morale facilitator."

276
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,590
I'm a fucking cheerleader?

277
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:22,468
Let's practice, shall we?
Blossom, say something nice

278
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,972
about Human Being's new flower crown.

279
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:29,141
It doesn't look like fat shit.

280
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,269
Surely, you can do better than that.

281
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,688
Kiss each other!

282
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,610
No! Stop. That won't be necessary.

283
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:42,405
You're right. Kill each other!

284
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:45,700
In the gladiator pit!

285
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,076
Danielle!

286
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,954
You sent me to peel homeless people?!

287
00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,456
That'll be all for now.

288
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,961
Chopping up poor people as food

289
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:59,088
doesn't strike you as psychotic?

290
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:02,633
Well, the Old King's original plan
was way more horrifying!

291
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:05,261
I'm softening
that man's worst instincts.

292
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:07,847
You know Merriman
would be better for this kingdom!

293
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,807
I'd be better for the kingdom,

294
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,350
but I can't replace the Old King

295
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,436
until Merriman is locked up or dead!

296
00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:15,813
Which you. Could. Help. With.

297
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:18,734
But you're being a total
little bitch about it. Oi!

298
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,449
Your order is to bring me Merriman.

299
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,367
Dead or alive?

300
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,786
Oh! Surprise me.

301
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:31,872
Ow!

302
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,918
Right. I've gotta go jill off.

303
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:39,338
This sexual tension
between us is killing me.

304
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:45,802
Man, I wish I had one of those
plans everyone thinks I have.

305
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,852
Maybe my plan

306
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,356
is ruining that guy's plan.

307
00:15:02,191 --> 00:15:04,088
_

308
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,239
Wait, what's that saying?

309
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,950
"You give a man some jerky,
he eats for a day.

310
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:12,162
Use that jerky to fish,
and he eats for a lifetime!"

311
00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:17,750
Well, that was a load of bullshit.

312
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,253
Oh, I'm still hungry.

313
00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:22,965
If only the woods could
sustain a person.

314
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:27,177
Get-get outta here! Shoo! Vermin!

315
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:31,806
Sustenance!
I can use this mushroom to catch a fish!

316
00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:34,267
No! That's where I went wrong before.

317
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:36,894
Oh, ho! I'm adapting!

318
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,646
Mm...

319
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:41,107
That's gross. Blech. I'll just chase it

320
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,859
by licking this toad.

321
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,527
There we go.

322
00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:47,281
Now, the rest of day
should be perfectly normal.

323
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:51,450
You! Giant stump. Are you hiring?

324
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,203
I need food plus tax money.

325
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:01,211
Oh... This isn't good...

326
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,048
Excuse me!

327
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:09,594
- Have you seen a man come through here?
- A man?

328
00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:12,180
Can you get a bit more specific, lad?

329
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:14,056
I only had one visitor today.

330
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:15,850
Black armor, about six-foot-twelve,

331
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:18,895
head like a boulder,
and soul dark as night.

332
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:22,398
See how much more helpful
that was than just "a man"?

333
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,066
Yes. I do.

334
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,360
Well, he's right behind you.

335
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:32,575
You're even bigger close-up.

336
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:34,286
Everyone's bigger close-up.

337
00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,504
So, Princess Danielle said

338
00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:46,714
I should tag
along on your mission today.

339
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,424
She thought I might learn something.

340
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,593
I-I wanna be a knight,
you know, just like you.

341
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:52,011
We die young,

342
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:54,556
but benefits are pretty good.

343
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,018
Ooh! You see something?
It looks like mud to me.

344
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,937
Is mud a clue?

345
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:03,564
He went this way, one hour ago.

346
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,316
How do you know that?

347
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:08,402
You can tell
by the depth of the footprints.

348
00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:09,988
Also, he left that.

349
00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:11,952
_

350
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:20,456
You are so wise, fancy worm!

351
00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:23,085
Do you know the secret of the universe?

352
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:28,840
Oh...

353
00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:31,175
Hey, man, we are all one

354
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,302
in this majestic ballet of life.

355
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,888
Life... life... life... life... life...

356
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,807
This is my place in the dance.

357
00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:39,934
Do you know your place in the dance?

358
00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:41,435
It's...

359
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,522
Holy fucking fuck!

360
00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:46,524
This is fine, man.

361
00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:49,610
A natural part of the cycle,
even as it severs

362
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:52,030
my delicate butterfly spine.

363
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,283
Oh no!

364
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,869
No, I don't like it!

365
00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:59,955
No, I don... I don't like it!

366
00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:02,099
_

367
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,168
I still don't see why a couple's
retreat is necessary, Mark.

368
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,420
- We just did one!
- You were late,

369
00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:10,047
and I did the whole thing myself, Coral!

370
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,465
Well, I'm here now.

371
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,676
But you're not really present!

372
00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:15,344
Can't we just put aside our roles

373
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,680
as pirate queen and CPA,

374
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:21,267
and just be woman and man
for a single weekend?

375
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:24,270
Fine. You have my undivided attention.

376
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,732
- Help!
- Oh, thank God.

377
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,649
Tulip, is that you?

378
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:31,360
- What's wrong?
- Oh, Coral! Thank goodness.

379
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:34,406
Look! This sushi's made
with imitation crab!

380
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,910
Wow, this feels like a new low.

381
00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:41,871
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, it doesn't matter.

382
00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:44,749
I'm going to die crushed by
a weighted blanket of averageness.

383
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,418
Hey, hey! That's what I call Mark.

384
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,671
Why don't we try and cheer you up?

385
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:56,595
I'm the pirate queen of the world!

386
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,477
I'm definitely gonna
break up with her this time.

387
00:19:04,353 --> 00:19:05,854
Probably.

388
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:12,985
So, basically, I wanna be
a knight to help people.

389
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,821
But I guess I never thought about
having to serve under a king

390
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:19,200
that's so... unpredictable?
Why did you wanna be a knight?

391
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,826
I wanted brothers,

392
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,705
and knighthood is a bond
thicker than blood.

393
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:27,625
You are a squire now,

394
00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:29,336
but one day, you will be a knight.

395
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,172
That makes us family.

396
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,674
Ah! What the hell?

397
00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:36,217
Oh my god!

398
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,636
Yup. That's a dickmouth viper.

399
00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:40,638
The venom turns your dick inside out,

400
00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:44,016
then makes it tunnel up through your body
and pop out of your mouth.

401
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,768
Wow! You saved me!

402
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:48,062
The number one rule of knighthood,

403
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:49,940
always protect each other.

404
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,527
_

405
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:56,697
He's close.

406
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,577
Huh?

407
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,875
Sire, run! It's Sir Midnight Darkness X!

408
00:20:08,876 --> 00:20:11,210
- X... X... X...
- Oh...

409
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,879
You're in danger! Run!

410
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,339
Don't you lecture me,

411
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,050
you little bunny!
I'm gonna boop your nose!

412
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:20,553
Are you high? Not today, man!

413
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,054
Be careful,

414
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,307
little bunny.
There's a big bear behind you

415
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,642
with an axe! Which seems redundant.

416
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,312
Here's the rock you
threw to distract me.

417
00:20:29,313 --> 00:20:31,522
- Step aside.
- Listen,

418
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,149
I know you're just following orders,

419
00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:35,067
but Merriman would be
better for the kingdom.

420
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,986
Knights follow orders.

421
00:20:36,987 --> 00:20:38,989
King Merriman, run!

422
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:44,243
You've gotta try harder
than that, scary bear!

423
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,495
Oh!

424
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:47,748
No!

425
00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:54,671
Go find a beehive, bear.

426
00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:58,467
Rubber chicken! Classic gag.

427
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:03,513
Wait! Butterfly! I have some sad news

428
00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:05,849
about one of your friends!

429
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,309
Brother?

430
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:09,645
Ah...

431
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,522
Merriman!

432
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,774
Please come back!

433
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:18,654
I betrayed the brotherhood.

434
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,407
I killed Sir Midnight Darkness X

435
00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:25,201
to help Merriman escape.

436
00:21:25,202 --> 00:21:26,661
Traitor!

437
00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:29,413
I sentence you to death.

438
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,290
Uh, bring out the chopping block.

439
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,793
I deserve it. I broke my oath

440
00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,753
and let down my kingdom.

441
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:38,422
He's so fucking emo.

442
00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:40,508
Why is that so erotic?

443
00:21:40,509 --> 00:21:43,928
Um, instead of beheading him,
what if we...

444
00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:46,597
reopened the gladiator arena?

445
00:21:46,598 --> 00:21:49,976
For realsies? Hooray!

446
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:52,311
No, you can just behead me.

447
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,688
It's settled then. Guards!

448
00:21:53,689 --> 00:21:56,400
Get this prisoner prepared for battle.

449
00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:59,068
I'm stalling for you as best I can.

450
00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:01,320
You should've let them chop off my head.

451
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:04,616
Oh, that's so hot.
Are you doing that on purpose?

452
00:22:10,414 --> 00:22:14,293
Patrick! I think these
people may be trying to kill you.

453
00:22:15,711 --> 00:22:16,920
Good.

454
00:22:29,039 --> 00:22:31,475
_

455
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:32,829
What the...

456
00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:34,288
_

457
00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:36,772
- Where am I?
- Looking good, Maxwell.

458
00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:38,941
I'll get you those reports
by the end of the day.

459
00:22:38,942 --> 00:22:41,694
- What the devil?
- You see the game last night, Maxwell?

460
00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:44,573
- What game?
- Ha! Exactly. Classic Maxwell.

461
00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:48,285
Am I in Hell?

462
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:52,222
_

463
00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:53,457
Holy shit.

464
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:55,908
I am in Hell!

465
00:22:55,933 --> 00:23:00,190
CREDITS