1
00:00:01,344 --> 00:00:04,156
_

2
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,925
Ooh! That was a good one!

3
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,968
- What's going on?
- We did it, Patrick!

4
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,304
We found the very last gem!

5
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:15,890
And since you were the one
that found the first gem,

6
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,266
I wanted you to be here.

7
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,268
What, you took all the gems?!

8
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,521
That was never the deal!
The caves are cursed!

9
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,524
All the more reason to blow them
from here to kingdom come!

10
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,401
Light that bitch up!

11
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,573
It seems like a waste of resources.

12
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,327
Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Check this shit out!

13
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,926
That's going to be hard
to sweep under the rug.

14
00:00:54,923 --> 00:00:58,665
CREDITS

15
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,777
Today's the day...

16
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,446
Ah!

17
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,323
Today's the day, Tuls!

18
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,827
Oh, here we go.

19
00:01:21,633 --> 00:01:23,477
_

20
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,212
You there! What day is it?

21
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,547
Why, it's Circus Day, sir.

22
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,215
I know it's Circus Day.

23
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:34,219
I just wanted to hear
you fuckin' say it!

24
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:40,309
? Circus, circus,
it's the best of my life ?

25
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:41,727
? Circus, circus! ?

26
00:01:41,728 --> 00:01:43,687
? Twice as sexy as my wife ?

27
00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:47,191
? Circus, circus,
Daddy said it'd rot my brain ?

28
00:01:47,192 --> 00:01:50,777
? Circus, circus, joke's on him,
he went insane ?

29
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:54,198
? Daddy's gone and I'm in charge!
My circus dreams are living large ?

30
00:01:54,199 --> 00:01:57,492
? Oh so much that I was missing,
like animal abuse and otherism ?

31
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,328
? Circus! ?

32
00:01:59,329 --> 00:02:02,706
? Circus, circus,
it's that time of year at last ?

33
00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:05,501
? Circus, circus!
My chance to kick back ?

34
00:02:05,502 --> 00:02:07,711
? And relax! ?

35
00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:09,588
_

36
00:02:09,589 --> 00:02:11,173
? Harness ?

37
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,508
? All this ?

38
00:02:12,509 --> 00:02:14,343
? Madness ?

39
00:02:14,344 --> 00:02:15,719
? Purpose ?

40
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,054
? Circus ?

41
00:02:17,055 --> 00:02:20,766
? Circus, circus, circus! ?

42
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,521
Y'all are dancin' in elephant shit.

43
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:30,192
Alright, alright! Everyone, back to one.

44
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,571
Due to unforeseen stupidity,

45
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,199
there's an opening for a new knight.

46
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,369
One of you squires could be that knight.

47
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:44,498
- This is my time...
- Is it me, is it my time?

48
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,625
Nope. Wait, you're right. It's yours.

49
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,293
Shotgun next!

50
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,838
Impress the king, and you
could earn that knighthood.

51
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:55,341
As you know, today is the king's
favorite day, Circus Day,

52
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,176
and each of you will be
given an opportunity

53
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,512
to prove yourselves at your posts.

54
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,391
Here is the list of assignments.

55
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,184
I got Royal Corn Dog Taster!

56
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,936
I get to hold the king's balloon!

57
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,522
What's a "funnel cake chuck bucket"?

58
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,108
- I don't think I like it.
- I'm a tour guide?

59
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:15,279
I've no sense of direction.
I'm lost right now!

60
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,155
Seat warmer? This hot ass?

61
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,533
I'll burn through the thing!

62
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,618
Cotton candy bouncer?
What's a cotton candy?

63
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,078
Oh, I heard it's amazing.

64
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,581
It's sand candy that becomes air,
something like that.

65
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,833
The king is desperate to try it.

66
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,294
You'll be guarding the line,
so he has the very first taste

67
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:32,879
in the entire kingdom!

68
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,675
I heard, once you taste it,
it takes all your pain away.

69
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,720
Apparently, everyone carries a low-grade
amount of pain at all times,

70
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,181
and you just get used to it.
But cotton candy

71
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,558
takes it all away. But then,

72
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,059
when you're out of cotton candy,

73
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,145
pain comes back worse than ever,

74
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,356
until you can score more cotton candy.

75
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,946
Well, I gotta go hit a meeting. Later!

76
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,430
- _
- Step right up! Step right up!

77
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,789
See the magnificent Elephant Man.

78
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,876
Half elephant, all man!

79
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,461
The snout of a mighty elephant

80
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:16,214
and the sad, ridiculous penis of a man.

81
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,257
Repulsed by ol' dingle-dangle dick?

82
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,135
I politely asked you to
stop calling me that, Maurice.

83
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:24,096
Behold the broad with a beard!

84
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,848
- _
- Feast your eyes on the atrocity

85
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,392
God certainly turned his back on.

86
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,187
For those with weak stomachs,
medics are on standby.

87
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,649
Last year, she grossed
someone out to death. Ah!

88
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:37,193
Plenty of oddities to
tickle your interest!

89
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:40,906
Feel better about your averageness.
Step right up!

90
00:04:40,931 --> 00:04:42,549
_

91
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,200
Soon, it will be ready!

92
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,327
We have a special Candy Scepter

93
00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:48,622
for the first taste!

94
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,211
Patrick, I must be the first one

95
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,380
to taste the elusive cloud candy.

96
00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,131
You can count on me, Sire.

97
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,343
I will keep every mouth away
from this spun sugar delight

98
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,429
until the first bite is
melting in your mouth.

99
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,932
Spoken like a future knight.

100
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,352
Or a smut romance novelist.

101
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,522
Ah. Here, kid. Feeling generous today.

102
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:24,156
Hm. I really thought you'd catch that.

103
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,033
Not very knight-like.

104
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,744
Oh my god, tigers!

105
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,914
Squire, resume walking tour.

106
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,583
Resuming walking tour.

107
00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:35,460
Hm. Spoken like a future knight.

108
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:41,465
By the W, those worthless diamonds
are from the "donate" pile.

109
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,093
They're super flawed,
just like my man-child husband

110
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:47,305
who I'm learning to love again
through the magic of counseling. Hm.

111
00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:49,016
Happy Circus Day.

112
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:54,020
And furthermore, caged animals
display repetitive behavior

113
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:57,523
due to the lack of engagement
and extreme levels of stress.

114
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,193
On the right, you'll see... Oh.

115
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,945
- Sorry. On the left...
- Wow!

116
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,031
- _
- Scatacological magic!

117
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,367
I love the circus.

118
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:11,412
Hey, hey! Blarney's beef tubes!

119
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:12,830
Get your beef tubes!

120
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,500
Plump and juicy beef tubes!

121
00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,878
No way!

122
00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:22,673
Hey, hey!
It's Tubbo, Flatfoot, and Bidet!

123
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:26,260
It's me, Blarney from clown college.

124
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:27,887
Didn't you get kicked out?

125
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,723
Yes, I did! At orientation.

126
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,559
For partying too hard!

127
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,397
And assault.
My tuition was not refunded.

128
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:41,108
Anyway, you playing tonight?
Do you need a...

129
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,737
one, two, three, four, five... seventh?

130
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,699
No offense, Blonzo.

131
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,910
Blonzo! It's Blurtney.

132
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,746
Gah! Why'd I say that?
Blarney. I'm Blarney.

133
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,250
You're not big top material.

134
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,010
- Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
- Nope!

135
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:08,762
- Get outta here!
- Ow!

136
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,014
Hey! So sorry,

137
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,891
but the first taste is
reserved for the king.

138
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,601
Oh, taste my ass.

139
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,688
Please, sir.

140
00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,356
I'm not long for this world.

141
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,733
I haven't had a joyful moment in ages!

142
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,529
My last wish is to taste
the fairy floss.

143
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:28,115
May I, please? May I?

144
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,159
It's just that the first bite
belongs to the king.

145
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,536
I'm sorry, little buddy.

146
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,497
What?! That always works!
You're an arsehole!

147
00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,417
- Ah!
- Hey, Patrick!

148
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,294
Sleeping on the job?

149
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,297
That's cool. I got fired!

150
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,384
Behold! The coveted First Taste!

151
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,680
Aah...

152
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:56,058
Ah! Wha... Da...
Where's the First Taste?

153
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:59,020
Well, there's an old idiom
in the cotton candy business.

154
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:01,231
You snooze, you lose.

155
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,861
Come back! In the name of the king!

156
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,326
I will lick the inside
of your entire asshole

157
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,744
for that cotton candy.

158
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,704
It's five cents.

159
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,748
I will lick the inside
of your entire asshole

160
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,834
if you let me borrow five cents.

161
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,219
Ooh!

162
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:34,306
Aah!

163
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,435
When do you think Piss Angel's
gonna come out? Soon?

164
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,687
Would you keep your
dong in your drawers?!

165
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,147
Um, I mean,

166
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,483
as our couples' counselor
would want me to phrase it,

167
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:48,778
I feel like you should keep
your dong in your drawers.

168
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,030
Honey.

169
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:56,078
Has anyone seen a kid with
our king's head on a gold stick?

170
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,080
Oh, you're not stopping. Okay.

171
00:09:02,132 --> 00:09:04,038
_

172
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,340
Um, hello?

173
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,969
Mr. Mind Leak? Have you seen a...

174
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:16,848
My lungs are constricting
in this straightjacket.

175
00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:19,350
Every breath I take could be my last!

176
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,854
Unless...

177
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,231
Uh, that's not how straightjackets work.

178
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:28,568
- And I'm free!
- Great. Cool. Tight.

179
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,736
Um, so hi. I'm Patrick,
and I'm looking for...

180
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,322
- Watch my mouth.
- Jesus H. Christ!

181
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,992
Why?! You're gonna shred your colon!

182
00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:38,579
Let me leak your mind...

183
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:46,044
I saw you go through the trap door.
None of this is magic.

184
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,173
I made him disappear?

185
00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:53,093
I am magic! Argh!

186
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:57,096
Oh, please! I have never
wanted anything more

187
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,641
than a shot of vodka.
Gah! Shot at the stage!

188
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,977
We can't just let any schmo up there.

189
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:06,606
You need a degree in tomfoolery
and a minor in jackassery.

190
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:09,400
Oh, come on! A piece of paper

191
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,320
can't tell you if you can clown, man!

192
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,655
It comes from the heart!

193
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,490
And I've got an enlarged one!

194
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,701
Buzz off, cornball. You're just a loser

195
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,078
with a dream that'll never come true.

196
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,623
Red nose goes! Aw, yeet yeet!

197
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,833
Juju on the beat! Tuna can!

198
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,461
Hello to the big top!
The big top! Woof woof!

199
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,881
- Let's go get 'em, boys.
- Let's go!

200
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:35,385
Oh, I'll show ya who's the real fool.

201
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,892
Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo!

202
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,854
Oh! A pie to the face!

203
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:50,192
I've never seen that before!
These guys are geniuses!

204
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:56,740
What? They topped it! I didn't
think they could improve on that!

205
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,700
Ah!

206
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,827
I really loved what you
did with the clowns.

207
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,829
- Let's write it into the act.
- Excuse me,

208
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,623
have you seen an orphan around here?

209
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:08,668
You can always tell an orphan from
the contractions and double negatives.

210
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,419
There ain't no orphan 'round here!

211
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,714
You mean there isn't
an orphan around here?

212
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,093
Fuck off, buddy! Squirrel wings!

213
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:21,514
Squirrel wings?
That was Danielle's thing.

214
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:24,268
This place is crawling with
reminders of my ex.

215
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:26,811
Gotcha!

216
00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:30,065
Look! I'm face-fucking the king!

217
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,241
Ex-girlfriend.
OMG, it's your ex-girlfriend.

218
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:42,994
I'm in love with you,

219
00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:45,830
but I'm gonna kill
everyone you care about.

220
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,332
Come and get me.

221
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:53,546
I'm also in love with you,
and I'm going to knight you.

222
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,715
Now, get this orphan's
wiener out of my face.

223
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,968
What do I do,
what do I do, what do I do?

224
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,558
That's the assassin! Stop her!

225
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,642
Not so fast!

226
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:07,977
Juggle trap! Nyah!

227
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,812
Whoa! Ah!

228
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,856
Us circus folks stick together!

229
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,983
You wanna get to her,
you gotta go through me!

230
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,735
Oh! God! Ah!

231
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,904
She's getting away! Stop protecting her!

232
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,489
Ah! Molotov cocktail!

233
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:24,160
Must... break... the... juggle.

234
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,120
- Ah!
- If you come back 'round here,

235
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,581
you'll be juggling with the fishes!

236
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:32,251
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

237
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,046
binaries and non-binaries,

238
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:38,174
it's the moment you've
all been waiting for...

239
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:39,509
Piss Angel!

240
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,928
It's the golden boy himself...

241
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,222
Piss Angel Mind Leak?!

242
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:47,350
Give a warm Cirque du Circus welcome

243
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:48,268
to...

244
00:12:48,269 --> 00:12:50,561
- Piss Angel Mind Leak!
- Piss Angel...

245
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,897
Mind Leak!

246
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:55,442
Move.

247
00:12:57,069 --> 00:13:00,404
Patrick... oh, I did a bad thing.

248
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:03,200
I chased the cotton dragon,
and I caught her.

249
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:13,417
- Ah, ha!
- Have you seen my grandma?

250
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,419
What the...

251
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,467
I ask the wise, I ask the weak,

252
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,678
a volunteer is

253
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,054
what I seek.

254
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,682
Me! Please pick me!

255
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:30,309
You, sir! The eager young man

256
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,271
with the gleaming crown. Come forward.

257
00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,565
Outta the way! Outta the way!
Make way for the king!

258
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:38,110
One side! I'm special! Not you!

259
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,948
- Ah, ha!
- Oh, hey. Uh,

260
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:47,077
it's me, um, Little Red Riding Hood.
Yup.

261
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:51,038
I'm just going to go my gram-gram's now.

262
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,249
TTYL!

263
00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:55,501
Oh!

264
00:13:56,516 --> 00:13:58,762
Oh boy! Oh god!

265
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,718
- Ha!
- Oh! Blessed be the squash.

266
00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:06,429
I am the Footmaid.
Would you care to hear my fable?

267
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:10,183
Oh... This sounds long. No, thank you.

268
00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:11,685
Oh! Wait!

269
00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,814
Hm. You're Patrick.

270
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,817
Danielle had a message for you.

271
00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,154
I did it!

272
00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:26,741
- I'm the volunteer.
- What is your name, young man?

273
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,117
King Merriman.

274
00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:30,203
Well, King Merriman, behold!

275
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:33,581
- The Box of Comeuppance!
- Comeuppance?!

276
00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,791
I love comeuppance!

277
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,461
It's like I'm standing in a coffin!

278
00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:40,338
A king you now lack,

279
00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:42,256
a king you'll get back.

280
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:45,009
Chant "bring back the king" three times,

281
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,886
and Piss Angel

282
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,804
will leak your minds!

283
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:52,391
Bring back the king!
Bring back the king!

284
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,937
"In... sum... at"?

285
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:58,606
Sorry, it's been awhile since
I've been allowed to read words.

286
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,734
"In-in sum... mation...

287
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,278
This is a dis... dis..."

288
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,988
- Distraction!
- I can do it!

289
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,282
"Distraction. The lo...

290
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,785
"lon-ger you stand here,

291
00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:13,663
"the longer you leave
your king unprotected.

292
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:16,707
"You're a fool and a vir-gin."

293
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,543
See? I can read!

294
00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:19,627
Oh, he left.

295
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:21,170
Bring back the king...

296
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,506
You asked, and I shall deliver.

297
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:26,968
Bring back the king,
and may he long live...

298
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,553
er.

299
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:32,223
Rhymes are hard.
I'm free-styling up here, you know?

300
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:33,934
Behold!

301
00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:40,147
Papa's home!

302
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,316
Oh no.

303
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,658
- The old king is alive!
- Ah!

304
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:53,411
Your rightful ruler is
back from the dead,

305
00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:55,413
ya spoony rascals!

306
00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:58,542
Now, who wants to tug on my testes?

307
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,836
Oh, where are my manners?

308
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:03,629
May I introduce to you

309
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:07,091
the brainpower behind
my return to the people.

310
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,135
My granddaughter, Danielle.

311
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,469
Ha, ha!

312
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,889
Ex-girlfriend.
OMG, it's your ex-girlfriend.

313
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,515
Ah! Danielle!

314
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,018
Raised in a circus, bitch!

315
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,854
Ta-da! Grand entrance! Surprise!

316
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:22,690
What am I gonna do?
Think, Patrick, think!

317
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:24,650
Danielle's about to do
a redemptive monologue,

318
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,486
which means you have, like,
45 seconds to make a plan.

319
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,072
That's right! Twelve years ago,

320
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:33,159
they said the old king died in a plague,

321
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,119
but he didn't die in anything.

322
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,497
They just locked his old ass up! Ooh.

323
00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:40,709
- Sorry, Grandpa.
- What? Who are you?

324
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:43,795
Ha, ha!

325
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:51,136
I saw you go through the trap door.
None of this is magic.

326
00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:57,600
And who's to blame? King Merriman.

327
00:16:57,601 --> 00:17:00,728
Merriman, who faked
the rightful king's death,

328
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,773
so he could callously
take the throne for himself.

329
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:07,026
Merriman, who found untold
riches underground

330
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,737
and shared them with whom? Nobody!

331
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,405
Do you feel rich?

332
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,991
No! I don't feel rich!

333
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,954
Jeez, would you give someone
else a chance to outburst?

334
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:18,996
Hm?

335
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,499
Alright...

336
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,335
Guards, arrest my daughter-in-law!

337
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,754
She was in on it the whole time!

338
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:29,423
Boo! Boo, I say!

339
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,843
You suck!

340
00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:34,595
Oh, boo me all you want!

341
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,558
My heart is a pickle!
I can't feel shame!

342
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,693
Patrick, you're not supposed
to be down here.

343
00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:51,904
- But I won't leave you, Sire!
- Get out, you civilian!

344
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,239
Ooh, you're gonna ruin the trick!

345
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,117
Your Majesty, the trick
is that the old king is back,

346
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:59,495
- and the entire kingdom knows what you did.
- Uh-oh.

347
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:00,955
We need to get you out of here.

348
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:04,625
Oh, no. I'll die before I give up
the throne to that old mummy.

349
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,879
There are 200 armed guards
ready to murder you on sight!

350
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,756
Is that supposed to scare me?
Because it does. Let's roll.

351
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,385
Ooh...

352
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,180
- Under the stage!
- They found us!

353
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:18,931
Oh. I failed you, Sire.

354
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,643
Eh. You're no failure. Just flawed.

355
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,354
Flawed!

356
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,401
It'll do.

357
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,622
Be right back. I see an old friend.

358
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:46,918
Oh, why!

359
00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:48,753
Here you go, sir.

360
00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:51,297
The first taste of cotton candy,
all for you.

361
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,757
Well, that's all well and good,

362
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,843
but did you just beat
a 9-year-old boy unconscious?

363
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:56,845
We better keep moving.

364
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:02,309
There's going to be some
changes around here.

365
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:05,561
Okay, guys, when he finishes talking,

366
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,730
we roll in with our show-stopper

367
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:09,815
and make history.

368
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,943
Shotgun!

369
00:19:11,944 --> 00:19:13,362
There's no room, fuckface.

370
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:20,536
Say, where's my jester?

371
00:19:21,537 --> 00:19:24,623
Bungles is dead?

372
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,834
Well, who's gonna make my tummy jiggle?

373
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:30,545
I demand a replacement jester.

374
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:33,297
Jester? That's what we trained for!

375
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,007
It's every clown's dream!

376
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,717
Hey! What are you doing?

377
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,803
Sorry, there's no room,

378
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,514
fuckface!

379
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:56,320
Replacement jester at your service!

380
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:59,366
To the mines!

381
00:20:00,409 --> 00:20:01,659
Wonderful idea!

382
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:04,245
Unless you're thinking of using the gems
to bribe our way out of this

383
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,997
because those gems are cursed, Patrick,

384
00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:09,209
and we promised to only take what we need,
so don't even think about it.

385
00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:12,629
Sire, I know you took all the gems!

386
00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:32,357
Christ! I'm getting tea-bagged
left and right here!

387
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:38,696
Okay. We need to go somewhere
no one will recognize us.

388
00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:42,201
No, Patrick. Not we.
I need you back at the castle.

389
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:45,453
Someone needs to watch
over my Tulip and my Petal.

390
00:20:45,454 --> 00:20:47,872
I won't let you down, Sire.

391
00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:49,790
You probably will.

392
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:51,709
Okay. Well,

393
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,420
I'm off to disappear
into the countryside,

394
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,631
become one with the common folk.

395
00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:59,342
Maybe I'll even follow
my dream of joining the circus!

396
00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:00,927
Did you know the circus is in town?

397
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,222
That's a bad idea, Your Majesty.

398
00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:06,974
Well, anyway, I'm off.

399
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,809
But, before I go,

400
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:11,562
time to take that first taste.

401
00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:13,106
Share this with me, Patrick.

402
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,025
Share a circus treat with an old friend.

403
00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:17,611
I'd be honored, Sire.

404
00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:22,990
This is...

405
00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:24,993
disgusting!

406
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:31,541
Goodbye forever, Patrick.

407
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:34,044
I'll never forget you, Your Majesty.

408
00:21:45,603 --> 00:21:50,884
CREDITS