1 00:00:07,437 --> 00:00:09,662 This stew is really doing it for me now. 2 00:00:09,687 --> 00:00:11,273 Well, yeah, 'cause you're using it as food, 3 00:00:11,298 --> 00:00:13,169 instead of using it as a reviving mechanism. 4 00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,102 Look, there's that truck again. 5 00:00:16,031 --> 00:00:18,366 Goddamn it. Are you telling me 6 00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:20,126 there's gonna be obnoxious Americans on this hike? 7 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,695 'Cause that's the last thing I want to see. 8 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,505 Hey, you guys, wait up a second. 9 00:00:24,063 --> 00:00:25,652 Frank, why are you carrying all that stuff, man? 10 00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,916 - We're going on a day hike. - Nah, I just want to make sure 11 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:31,509 Charlie realizes I'm still useful, you know, 12 00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:34,215 in case he or Shelley needs a drink or something to eat. 13 00:00:34,531 --> 00:00:36,060 You got piss in that canteen? 14 00:00:36,109 --> 00:00:38,285 No, I got Gatorade in that canteen. 15 00:00:40,426 --> 00:00:42,820 The other one's got the piss in case things go bad. 16 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:44,827 There he is. 17 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,222 - Charlie! - Hey. 18 00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:49,850 Yo, pal. 19 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,623 - Charlie. - Hello. 20 00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:54,015 I see you all fell for my ruse. 21 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,596 What ruse? You asking us to go on a hike 22 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,144 with your dad, and us saying "yes"? 23 00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,580 Oldest trick in the book. 24 00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:00,625 Asking someone to do something? 25 00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:01,800 Exactly. 26 00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,507 And then, them doing it? 27 00:01:03,532 --> 00:01:05,140 - Precisely, yes. - Wait a minute. 28 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,646 Where-Where's Shelley? You said he was coming with us. 29 00:01:07,671 --> 00:01:09,195 Yeah. No, Shelley's coming with us. 30 00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:11,918 He's going on a hike all the way up the mountain. 31 00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,074 Only thing is, he can't really walk, 32 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:15,858 so we're gonna have to carry him. 33 00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,515 What?- 34 00:01:17,982 --> 00:01:21,031 You know, no offense, Charlie, but Shelley's fat as shit. 35 00:01:21,056 --> 00:01:23,812 No offense taken, Dennis, because he is fat as shit, 36 00:01:23,837 --> 00:01:27,580 but, um, he won't really mind us saying that because he's dead. 37 00:01:28,039 --> 00:01:30,328 What? What the hell are you talking about? 38 00:01:30,353 --> 00:01:32,976 I'm talking about Shelley Kelly, my dad. 39 00:01:33,578 --> 00:01:35,007 He's dead. 40 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,202 Shit. 41 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:47,171 ? 42 00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:53,455 credits 43 00:02:05,823 --> 00:02:08,693 - This is crazy. - No, it's not that crazy, Mac. 44 00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:11,348 All right? Look, it's a Kelly family burial tradition. 45 00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,002 We're just gonna carry the man to the top 46 00:02:13,027 --> 00:02:15,229 of the mountain, and then we're gonna chuck him over the side. 47 00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:17,049 I-I'm not gonna do that. 48 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:19,139 Yeah, you know what? I-I'm not doing it, either. 49 00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:20,725 But not because I don't think it's awesome. 50 00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,161 I think... I think it's totally awesome. 51 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,926 I just am a little worried about my back. 52 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:25,510 - Your back? - Your back? You've always said 53 00:02:25,535 --> 00:02:27,905 that your back has the symmetry of the Vitruvian man, 54 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,908 and it's the foundation of your structural essence. 55 00:02:30,455 --> 00:02:32,477 Yeah, well, why would I want to ruin my essence, Mac? 56 00:02:32,502 --> 00:02:33,580 I'm not doing it. 57 00:02:33,605 --> 00:02:35,522 Look, guys, the men of my family have been doing this 58 00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:37,220 for thousands of years, and it's really important to me 59 00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,855 that we keep this tradition going, okay? 60 00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:43,206 Now I hate to say this, you know, but it is an emergency. 61 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,151 So I'm just gonna blurt it right out. 62 00:02:46,143 --> 00:02:47,768 Bros before hoes. 63 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,169 He's right. Bros before hoes. 64 00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,648 - Yeah, he's got us. - My God. Yeah. 65 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:52,041 Bros before hoes, guys. 66 00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:54,261 That doesn't fit here. Bros before hoes? 67 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,499 What does that have to do with anything? 68 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,264 That's sort of a catch-all, Dee. 69 00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,569 Okay, let's just grab a piece 70 00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:00,112 of the bag, and we'll get it over with. 71 00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,093 This is gonna suck, but let's just... 72 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:01,964 Bros before hoes. Bros before... 73 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,357 Bros before hoes. Come on. 74 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,359 And hoes, too. 75 00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:35,519 - Hey. - There's got to be a better way. 76 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:38,566 Isn't there, like, a sled or a wagon or something? 77 00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,959 No, they didn't slide my ancestors up the hill. 78 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,831 They didn't wagon them. They carried them. 79 00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:44,311 Guys, I-I got to be honest. 80 00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:46,617 I'm-I'm getting a little worried about my back here. 81 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,510 Um, can I suggest something? 82 00:03:48,535 --> 00:03:52,446 What if we burn the body and carry the ashes up the hill? 83 00:03:52,471 --> 00:03:54,752 - No, no. - I could consecrate them. 84 00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:57,776 Look, no one is going to torch or consummate all over my dad. 85 00:03:57,801 --> 00:03:59,455 Yeah, we're here for Charlie. 86 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,268 Charlie, you hungry? You want a snack? 87 00:04:01,293 --> 00:04:04,209 I got egg, or you want a...? Want-want some GORP? 88 00:04:04,234 --> 00:04:06,628 - Or how about a... how about a wine spritzer? 89 00:04:06,653 --> 00:04:09,237 - I'll take a spritzer. - Bros before hoes, Dee. 90 00:04:09,262 --> 00:04:11,580 Frank, can I please have a white wine spritzer? 91 00:04:11,605 --> 00:04:13,576 - No, no, they're for Charlie. - Charlie... 92 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,690 Charlie, order me a wine spritzer, please. 93 00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:17,692 All right, one spritzer for Mac, please, Frank. 94 00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,346 Well, Charlie, order me one then. 95 00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:20,695 Well, it is bros before hoes, 96 00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:22,238 and not all of the bros have been spritzed. 97 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,501 - Let's spritz Dennis, Charlie. - I don't really want one. 98 00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:26,048 Guys, can I suggest something else? 99 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,963 What-what if we...? Now bear with me here. 100 00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:30,139 - What if we chop the body up? - Come on. 101 00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:33,088 And we carry it in pieces, right? Or-or melt it somehow. 102 00:04:33,113 --> 00:04:36,088 - Like you did to Dee's doctor guy? 103 00:04:36,113 --> 00:04:37,955 - Frank, shut up, man. - Why? You didn't tell her? 104 00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:41,211 - Tell me what? - Ha. Well, well, 105 00:04:41,236 --> 00:04:42,474 at the castle, and you weren't there, 106 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:44,493 so Dennis poured hot oil on him. 107 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,783 - Charlie, you sure you don't want to... - What?! 108 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,765 Shut up! Come on! 109 00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,221 - Come on. - Can we please not drop my dad? 110 00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,525 What is he talking about, Dennis? 111 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:51,789 Don't worry about it, Dee. Come on. 112 00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,815 It-it wasn't even that hot. 113 00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,397 Did you use the murder hole? 114 00:04:55,422 --> 00:04:57,340 Dee, don't get mad at me, okay? 115 00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,709 The guy showed up, and you weren't there. 116 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,561 What was I supposed to do? 117 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,477 - I don't know. Not scald him! -Come on. 118 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,150 You weren't there to enjoy him so I enjoyed him, 119 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,609 per the castle's wishes. 120 00:05:06,634 --> 00:05:08,256 Are you still talking to the castle?! 121 00:05:08,522 --> 00:05:10,092 I thought that was a COVID thing! 122 00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:12,921 Dee, let it go. Let it go! 123 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:16,403 My God, I cannot believe this. I am out of here. 124 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,248 Wait, wait, wait, wait. You can't go. 125 00:05:18,608 --> 00:05:20,936 You-you killed my dad with your stupid banshee curse. 126 00:05:20,961 --> 00:05:22,881 - My stupid what? - That's why he died. 127 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,123 Every Kelly saw a banshee right before he died. 128 00:05:25,148 --> 00:05:27,279 My dad saw you, so, you got to be here. 129 00:05:27,304 --> 00:05:29,670 Charlie, banshees aren't real! 130 00:05:29,695 --> 00:05:32,070 -Is that it? Is that what it was? -Yes, that could be it. 131 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,506 - You! - All right, you know what? Fine. 132 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,877 Go. We don't even need you. We were probably gonna throw you 133 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,686 - from the top anyway! - I thought about it. 134 00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:40,514 - Did you think about? - I did, too. God. 135 00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:41,943 - I was thinking about it, too, yeah. - Yeah, well, you got 136 00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:43,796 -to play it safe, you know? You never know. -Got to be sure. 137 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:46,090 - What if she's a witch? - What if she's a witch? 138 00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:55,398 Hey, Frank, you okay, there? 139 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,095 - I'm ok... yeah. - I got you. Step. 140 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,662 I see it. 141 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,185 There we go. 142 00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:02,405 - The corner here. - Yeah. 143 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,015 I hate to admit it, 144 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:05,428 but this is a lot heavier without Dee. 145 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:07,454 - How much weight was she bearing? - I don't know. 146 00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:09,673 Well, it's that monstrous spine of hers, you know? 147 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:12,372 The scoliosis hardened it into petrified wood, 148 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,417 unlike my back which is pretty much all muscle. 149 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,201 Whoa. Whoa. 150 00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,638 - You all right? - You-you okay? 151 00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,640 Yeah. I'm good. I'm good. 152 00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,487 -I just... -Well, what did... what did you trip on? 153 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:24,079 Um, I don't know. Just something on the ground or something. 154 00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,491 Hey, let me jump back in there, yeah? 155 00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:27,822 Well, w-wait a second. Did you guys notice 156 00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:30,215 that the body didn't get heavier when Dennis let go? 157 00:06:30,787 --> 00:06:32,740 No. If anything, it feels lighter. 158 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,388 Significantly lighter. 159 00:06:34,413 --> 00:06:35,857 That's odd. 160 00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:39,433 Well, I don't know how something like that could possibly happen. 161 00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:41,313 What-what would explain something like that? You... 162 00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:43,030 Could it be maybe the banshee curse? Does it have 163 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,716 - something to do...? - Were you not carrying it? 164 00:06:44,741 --> 00:06:46,294 Not carr... What are you talking about, man? 165 00:06:46,356 --> 00:06:48,532 Not carrying it? Yeah, I was carrying it. 166 00:06:48,557 --> 00:06:50,428 - Why did it get lighter? - My God. 167 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,562 It looks like he was dragging his feet back here. 168 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,936 - Were you hanging on it? - No! - He must have 169 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,316 tripped and lost his grip, and that's how he fell. 170 00:06:57,341 --> 00:06:59,027 - Goddamn it! - You were taking a ride? 171 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,116 - You weren't even holding it. - No. Come on, dude. 172 00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,646 Wait. Time out. Time out, guys. 173 00:07:02,671 --> 00:07:05,057 Can we please not make dropping my dad a thing? Right? 174 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,054 If you get frustrated, just place the man down, okay? 175 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:09,603 I'm sorry. I get frustrated, I throw. I don't... 176 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,685 All right, listen, listen, guys. Yes, fine. 177 00:07:11,716 --> 00:07:13,583 Yeah, I was hanging on the bag a little bit. You know, just 178 00:07:13,608 --> 00:07:16,107 from moment to moment, you know, just a tiny, tiny bit, okay? 179 00:07:16,132 --> 00:07:19,849 I was trying to decompress my Vitruvian spine. I'm sorry! 180 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:22,294 I told you guys it was something I was worried about. 181 00:07:22,319 --> 00:07:24,833 Guys, we got bigger problems than this. 182 00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:27,599 How are we gonna get that up that hill? 183 00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:31,862 - All right, well... - Ooh, that's steep. 184 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,844 It's gonna suck, but we'll just have to carry it. 185 00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:37,052 Okay, well, hold on a second, Charlie. Let's think about this. 186 00:07:37,077 --> 00:07:41,020 Now, while I do not approve of Dennis riding your dead dad, 187 00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:42,699 I-I think we have to think about this 188 00:07:42,724 --> 00:07:44,980 from a... an engineering perspective. 189 00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:47,263 Now as a Dutch man, I think I would 190 00:07:47,288 --> 00:07:50,682 look at this the way I would think of a windmill or a dam. 191 00:07:50,716 --> 00:07:53,211 Cool. How's a windmill gonna help us? 192 00:07:53,787 --> 00:07:56,287 I haven't been Dutch long enough to know. 193 00:07:56,312 --> 00:07:58,323 Well, if we had a really giant windmill, 194 00:07:58,347 --> 00:07:59,783 we could just blow him up the hill. 195 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,108 - We could blow him up the hill. - Giant windmill 196 00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,146 - could blow him up. Good. - Yeah. 197 00:08:02,171 --> 00:08:03,208 Do you have your giant windmill in your bag? 198 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,538 Hold on a second. Let... 199 00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,137 Let me suggest something else. 200 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:07,357 What if we... 201 00:08:07,382 --> 00:08:09,768 what if we slide him up the steep part of the hill? 202 00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:10,968 Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait. 203 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,883 Frank, do you have a tent in that bag? 204 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,146 Yeah I got a tent. I got a tent. 205 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:18,236 - How's that for being resourceful, Charlie? - Okay. 206 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,953 - Okay, okay. - Now, well, look, this-this is good! 207 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,153 Now-now, Charlie, we're still honoring your dad. 208 00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:25,156 - Right. - We're just sliding him up this one section. That's it! 209 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,245 All right, fine. 210 00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:28,962 We'll slide the man up the hill, just this part. 211 00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:30,224 But then, we'll go back to carrying him! 212 00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:32,448 All of us, please. 213 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:36,690 - Yeah. - All right. 214 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,450 -Pop the tent out. Let's get it. Let's get it. -Dude, help me 215 00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:40,060 -with this thing. You got to... you got to... 216 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,758 - Keep it on. I'll just get it out of here. - Okay. 217 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,787 One, two, three. 218 00:08:44,755 --> 00:08:46,794 One, two, three. 219 00:08:47,919 --> 00:08:50,380 One, two, three. 220 00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:55,273 - One, two, three. - Two, three. 221 00:08:57,902 --> 00:08:59,686 And now, yes! 222 00:08:59,771 --> 00:09:02,367 - All right, all right, boys. - That worked out good! 223 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:03,934 I got to say, too, 224 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:06,193 - that still felt respectful. - That wasn't so bad.. 225 00:09:06,218 --> 00:09:07,279 Guys, I actually feel like 226 00:09:07,304 --> 00:09:09,669 that was a back-strengthening exercise for me. 227 00:09:09,694 --> 00:09:11,263 - Awesome! - All right, good. 228 00:09:11,288 --> 00:09:13,193 - Let's just take a rest here, all right? - Yeah. 229 00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:15,264 - Okay. Want a GORP? Anybody into GORP? Yeah. 230 00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:16,615 -Yeah. -Yeah. Let me get it out. 231 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,146 - Let's get some GORP. - All right, get it out. 232 00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:20,056 - Maybe, guys, let's have a couple of spritzers. - Spritzers! 233 00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,275 Who wants one? Spritzer for Mac, spritzer for Dennis. 234 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:22,625 I-I got spritzers, yeah, I got spritzers. 235 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:23,974 Then we'll get this old bitch up the hill. 236 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,869 - All right. - This is gonna be good. 237 00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,568 - Shit! - My God. 238 00:09:35,882 --> 00:09:37,536 It's still going. 239 00:09:41,257 --> 00:09:42,667 Okay, that's my bad. 240 00:09:42,812 --> 00:09:44,553 - Okay. - That is... 241 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:47,412 That's gonna be a mess inside that bag, guys. 242 00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:50,261 Yeah. That's one big sack of Irish stew. 243 00:09:51,136 --> 00:09:53,222 Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. 244 00:09:53,247 --> 00:09:55,396 Okay, that-that... This isn't a problem. All right, I... 245 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,308 What do you say we go back down there, 246 00:09:57,333 --> 00:10:01,333 and we dump out whatever liquid is probably in that body bag, 247 00:10:01,358 --> 00:10:03,317 and then, that'll-that'll lighten the load? 248 00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,495 -Okay, yeah. That works for me, yeah. 249 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,321 And-and then we can carry it up, no problem! 250 00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:08,808 - Yeah, yeah. - All right. 251 00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:12,120 I'm starting to see myself as more of a problem solver. I... 252 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,480 I-I think that actually could be a new identity. 253 00:10:14,589 --> 00:10:15,705 I'm gonna put that on the list. 254 00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:17,080 You guys are gonna want to hear this. 255 00:10:17,105 --> 00:10:19,053 So, Dutch first. 256 00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:21,882 Dutch first, then gay, then problem solver. 257 00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:23,250 Now could you repeat that back to me? 'Cause I think... 258 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,754 Dude, shut up! My God! 259 00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:26,277 All right, you're Irish, Mac. 260 00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:29,230 - Yeah. You're not Dutch. - What? 261 00:10:29,255 --> 00:10:31,258 You're Irish. Right, but we knew you were gonna be 262 00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,328 so goddamn annoying about it on the trip, 263 00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:35,088 and that it was gonna be the only thing you talked about, 264 00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:36,786 so we paid your mom to tell you you were Dutch. 265 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,420 It cost us a couple of loosies. 266 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,311 - Yeah. - Yeah, your mom does not 267 00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,337 Yeah, but, I mean, Luther Vandross? Mac, really? 268 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,382 - Luther Vandross? - Come on, Mac. 269 00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:46,186 But somehow it's been even worse! You're talking 270 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,909 about your identity even more. I can't believe it. 271 00:10:49,784 --> 00:10:50,824 Why would you do that? 272 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:52,279 And by the way... the tattoo? The... Can we talk about that... 273 00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,914 - The shamrock tattoo? - That was... 274 00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,413 - You want to see it? - No, I don't want 275 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:56,632 -to see it, goddamn it! Listen. What? 276 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,198 You're getting rid of all the other tattoos 277 00:10:58,222 --> 00:10:59,983 - and not the worst tattoo? - You're keeping the shamrock? 278 00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:02,531 -I want it gone. We want it gone! 279 00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,552 - Yeah, get rid of the shamrock. - So, you-you thought you'd just 280 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,709 - unravel my entire identity? - Nothing's unraveled! 281 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,382 - We didn't unravel anything! - You're still you! 282 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,887 - You've always been you! - Fine. You know what? 283 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,560 You-you-you take that liquid-meat body bag, 284 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:13,779 and you get it up the goddamn hill 285 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,253 by yourself, 'cause I'm out. 286 00:11:15,278 --> 00:11:16,913 - Is he gonna get rid of the tattoo? 287 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:18,175 rid of it. Are you getting rid of the tattoo? 288 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:19,635 Are you gonna get rid of the tattoo? 289 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,744 I'm gonna get another shamrock tattoo on the other leg! 290 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,770 - Don't you dare! - I'm gonna do it! 291 00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:25,822 Don't you dare get another shamrock tattoo, 292 00:11:25,847 --> 00:11:27,277 you son of a bitch! 293 00:11:44,143 --> 00:11:46,102 - Goddamn it! - All right. 294 00:11:46,127 --> 00:11:48,303 Nobody admit this to Mac, but... 295 00:11:48,328 --> 00:11:50,939 - I feel like he was carrying a ton of weight. 296 00:11:50,964 --> 00:11:53,992 - Yeah. - That would be another one 297 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,909 The man who could carry stuff. 298 00:11:55,934 --> 00:11:57,370 God. Wait. I got to take a break. 299 00:11:57,395 --> 00:11:58,634 - All right. - I got to take a break. 300 00:11:58,659 --> 00:12:00,675 Yeah. Guys, please, 301 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,049 just say, "I got to take a break," 302 00:12:02,074 --> 00:12:03,815 then gen-gently place him down. 303 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,537 Stop dropping him over and over again. 304 00:12:05,562 --> 00:12:06,850 Look, this isn't working, okay? 305 00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:08,572 Look, you don't want to burn the guy? 306 00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:10,699 Fine. Personally, I don't understand it, 307 00:12:10,724 --> 00:12:12,702 but there are other solutions to this problem, okay? 308 00:12:13,022 --> 00:12:15,590 Let's just chop the body up. It's already mangled. 309 00:12:15,615 --> 00:12:17,537 Come on, man! Look, I'm just trying to get him 310 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:19,323 to the top of the mountain, as per his wishes. 311 00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:20,956 He lived a hard enough life. 312 00:12:20,981 --> 00:12:23,369 You know, he slaved away as a cheese monster, or whatever. 313 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,745 He died with his lungs filled with fluid, 314 00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,224 he was gasping for air. 315 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:28,526 You know, the-the least we can do 316 00:12:28,551 --> 00:12:30,204 is send him off with some dignity. 317 00:12:30,229 --> 00:12:33,503 Wait a second. What did you say? How did your dad die? 318 00:12:33,528 --> 00:12:35,207 Died from a banshee curse, you know this. 319 00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:36,269 No, no, no, what was the thing 320 00:12:36,294 --> 00:12:37,793 about his lungs being filled with fluid? 321 00:12:37,818 --> 00:12:39,274 Well, yeah. When I got him to the hospital, 322 00:12:39,299 --> 00:12:41,003 the doctor said his lungs were all filled with fluid, 323 00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:43,093 and he couldn't really breathe, and then they tried to get him 324 00:12:43,118 --> 00:12:45,613 on a respirator, but there wasn't enough time... he died. 325 00:12:46,355 --> 00:12:48,269 Well, buddy, that sounds like COVID! 326 00:12:48,294 --> 00:12:52,181 COVID?! But so-so the poor guy's dying from a banshee curse, 327 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,238 and now he's got to deal with COVID on top of everything else? 328 00:12:54,263 --> 00:12:55,700 Did you give him COVID, Dennis? 329 00:12:55,725 --> 00:12:58,049 Me?! I never even interacted with the man. 330 00:12:58,074 --> 00:12:59,996 I was behind a stone wall and a painting that night. 331 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,626 What, do you think I'm shooting COVID laser beams 332 00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:02,808 out of my eyeballs? 333 00:13:02,833 --> 00:13:04,519 Well, look, I don't know how it works, 334 00:13:04,544 --> 00:13:06,316 but you're the only one who didn't get vaccinated. 335 00:13:06,341 --> 00:13:08,256 I mean, I got the shot, Frank got the shot. 336 00:13:08,281 --> 00:13:10,762 The shot? The government shot? I didn't do that. 337 00:13:10,787 --> 00:13:12,292 What? You're-you're not vaccinated? 338 00:13:12,317 --> 00:13:14,222 Yeah, I'm fully vaccinated. 339 00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,113 I-I got the non-shot kind. 340 00:13:16,138 --> 00:13:18,576 What non...? There is no non-shot kind, Frank. 341 00:13:18,601 --> 00:13:21,778 Of course there is! The-the-the hydro pills 342 00:13:21,803 --> 00:13:23,544 and the... and the bleach, and the... 343 00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:26,449 the horse dewormer. The-the president's stuff! 344 00:13:26,474 --> 00:13:27,649 - Wait, wait, wait. - Jesus. 345 00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:29,676 Why would you not take the shot? 346 00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:32,003 Where they put the thing in your arm with the chip, 347 00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:33,909 and it goes inside your body? 348 00:13:33,934 --> 00:13:36,417 I heard the nerd on the island talk about them. 349 00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:38,096 That once they get that thing inside of you, 350 00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,688 they can control your thoughts. 351 00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:40,730 They take your thoughts, 352 00:13:40,755 --> 00:13:42,995 download 'em, put 'em into a manatee. 353 00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:44,301 - You know what I mean? - What is he talking about? 354 00:13:44,326 --> 00:13:45,695 - Why is he talking about manatees? 355 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,634 Guys, this is what I'm learning, okay? I had COVID, 356 00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:48,934 I gave it to Frank, Frank gave it to your dad. 357 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,481 Frank killed your dad. 358 00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,068 - Goddamn it! - Well, wait-wait a minute. 359 00:13:52,093 --> 00:13:55,620 To be fair, COVID killed your dad. I just gave it to him. 360 00:13:55,645 --> 00:13:57,933 Okay. Well, this is insane. This is insane! 361 00:13:57,958 --> 00:13:59,324 All right? You know what? I'm out of here. 362 00:13:59,349 --> 00:14:01,337 - Screw this, I can't do this. 363 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:02,472 God. 364 00:14:03,096 --> 00:14:05,272 There it... there it is! 365 00:14:05,297 --> 00:14:08,386 Goddamn it! This is exactly what I was worried about. 366 00:14:09,336 --> 00:14:12,034 It's the end of the Vitruvian era! It's over! 367 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:16,058 Goddamn! Goddamn! My essence has... 368 00:14:16,083 --> 00:14:19,522 been ruined by tiny cars, castle beds and... 369 00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:23,178 Goddamn. I hate this godforsaken country! 370 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:27,120 - Man! - Hey, he's probably faking it. 371 00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:28,628 Yeah. 372 00:14:31,152 --> 00:14:32,238 Look, 373 00:14:33,652 --> 00:14:36,136 I'm sorry if I gave your dad COVID. 374 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:38,222 I mean, if that's the case. 375 00:14:38,247 --> 00:14:39,770 I mean, we don't have proof. 376 00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:41,238 It's kind of like the Epstein thing. 377 00:14:41,263 --> 00:14:42,900 -Yeah. -Yeah, all right. 378 00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,534 I forgive you, all right? 379 00:14:44,911 --> 00:14:46,636 A Kelly always forgives. 380 00:14:47,194 --> 00:14:50,371 The men that is, not-not women so much.- 381 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:55,878 For what it's worth, I'm sorry I'm not your real dad. 382 00:14:57,485 --> 00:15:00,292 Thanks, Frank. I'm kind of sorry, too. 383 00:15:00,895 --> 00:15:02,355 But don't you worry. 384 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:06,775 I'll always be there for you. I'll always have your back. 385 00:15:07,644 --> 00:15:08,417 Yeah. 386 00:15:08,442 --> 00:15:10,009 - You thirsty? - Yes. 387 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,574 Here. Try some of this Gatorade. 388 00:15:12,599 --> 00:15:14,167 - Thank you. - There you go. 389 00:15:14,913 --> 00:15:16,393 Aah! 390 00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,441 - Whoa! - Is that piss? 391 00:15:19,292 --> 00:15:20,970 That's not supposed to be the piss one! 392 00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:22,941 - Why do you have a piss one? - Well, here, here, here. 393 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,706 - Why is there always a piss one with you? 394 00:15:24,731 --> 00:15:27,347 - Wash it out with Gatorade. - Goddamn it, Frank! 395 00:15:28,257 --> 00:15:29,694 Ooh. 396 00:15:29,719 --> 00:15:31,025 That's piss, too! 397 00:15:31,050 --> 00:15:32,486 - No! - Well, what the fuck? 398 00:15:32,511 --> 00:15:34,125 I must have got confused and pissed in 'em both. 399 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,847 - Wait, wait, wait. - Goddamn it, dude. 400 00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:37,564 I got you a spritzer! How about a spritzer? 401 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:39,081 I don't want a fucking spritzer! 402 00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,230 - Mac drank all the spritzers. 403 00:15:40,255 --> 00:15:42,222 - Why do you have canteens full of piss? 404 00:15:42,247 --> 00:15:45,032 Why is it always something crazy with you? Goddamn it! 405 00:15:45,057 --> 00:15:47,392 Look, I'm gonna do it alone. I don't need your help. Just go! 406 00:15:47,417 --> 00:15:49,314 - No, Charlie. - Just go! 407 00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:50,577 - I don't need your help, Frank! 408 00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:51,956 Charlie! 409 00:16:10,496 --> 00:16:12,574 - I hate this place. - It's the worst! 410 00:16:12,599 --> 00:16:14,035 If there is anything I have learned 411 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,931 from this godforsaken rock, 412 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,456 it is that I never want to see any of you assholes ever again! 413 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,068 Dee, don't worry about it, because as soon as I figure out 414 00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:24,505 who or what I am, you'll never see me again! 415 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,265 - You're Irish. - You're Irish. 416 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,465 - You are Irish! - You're an Irishman! 417 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:30,119 Shh! 418 00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:38,659 You... are screaming! 419 00:16:39,103 --> 00:16:40,713 Haven't you noticed that everyone else 420 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:44,786 in here is speaking at a normal volume? 421 00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:46,483 Shut up! 422 00:16:47,222 --> 00:16:49,402 Shut up. Shut up. 423 00:16:50,847 --> 00:16:53,142 - You listen to me, you bitch. - Get her, banshee. 424 00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:56,681 I will speak at whatever volume I choose, 425 00:16:56,706 --> 00:16:59,279 and if you don't like it, you can suck 426 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,394 my big fat dick! 427 00:17:01,419 --> 00:17:04,941 One volume? For every single person in the whole wide world? 428 00:17:04,966 --> 00:17:07,744 That's socialism, and I won't stand for it! 429 00:17:07,769 --> 00:17:09,506 We should be able to speak 430 00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:11,682 at whatever volume we identify with! 431 00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:13,989 Because that is the American way! 432 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,079 But you are not in America! 433 00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,908 We are America, sweetheart! 434 00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:23,868 And we carry our country with us wherever we go! 435 00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:28,347 Because we love her! And when you love someone, 436 00:17:28,449 --> 00:17:31,963 you can't bear to leave 'em behind! 437 00:17:32,482 --> 00:17:33,752 Not ever! 438 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,218 Aah! Aah! 439 00:18:12,506 --> 00:18:13,956 Goddamn it! 440 00:18:15,644 --> 00:18:17,105 I can't do this! 441 00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,292 I'm sorry, Dad. 442 00:18:20,051 --> 00:18:21,683 I can't do it. 443 00:18:25,203 --> 00:18:26,738 This isn't fair. 444 00:18:27,694 --> 00:18:29,995 I shouldn't have to carry you up this hill. 445 00:18:33,043 --> 00:18:35,144 You never carried me up a hill. 446 00:18:37,105 --> 00:18:38,730 You never picked me up from school. 447 00:18:38,755 --> 00:18:40,932 You didn't read me bedtime stories. 448 00:18:41,030 --> 00:18:43,163 You didn't carry me on your shoulders. 449 00:18:43,597 --> 00:18:46,355 You didn't bounce me on... You weren't there! 450 00:18:47,374 --> 00:18:49,136 And I needed you! 451 00:18:52,540 --> 00:18:54,152 I needed you there. 452 00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:01,284 You were supposed to carry me! 453 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,034 You were supposed to carry me. 454 00:19:11,522 --> 00:19:13,886 Frank's right. I'm glad you're dead. 455 00:19:14,646 --> 00:19:16,268 I'm glad you're dead. 456 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,128 Now I don't have to spend the rest of my life 457 00:19:19,153 --> 00:19:20,972 waiting for you to pick me up. 458 00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:38,667 - Hey, buddy! - Charlie! 459 00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:40,659 I'm so sorry that I killed your dad! 460 00:19:40,684 --> 00:19:43,589 But I'm even more sorry that we left you behind! 461 00:19:43,614 --> 00:19:45,097 We should have never left you, buddy! 462 00:19:45,122 --> 00:19:46,689 We should have never left America! 463 00:19:46,714 --> 00:19:48,727 - We should have... - Yeah! I miss Philly. 464 00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,097 Let's go home! 465 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:53,428 - Yeah. - I may be Irish, 466 00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:54,722 How did you get the truck? 467 00:19:54,747 --> 00:19:57,713 The American way. I threw a lot of cash at the owner. 468 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,847 - Yeah. - Come on. 469 00:19:58,872 --> 00:20:02,353 Let's put him in the back and throw your dad off the cliff! 470 00:20:02,378 --> 00:20:04,308 Let's go! Come on, Charlie! 471 00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:05,987 - Come on! - Yeah! 472 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:10,628 One. Two. Three. 473 00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:14,865 Ooh! 474 00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:16,127 Shit. 475 00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:17,607 - Okay... - Ooh. 476 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,174 It was supposed to go in the water. 477 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,412 Maybe they usually do this at high tide. 478 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,569 They probably did, yeah. 479 00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,614 -Yeah. -Yeah. 480 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,766 - Okay. - Yeah, but should we try 481 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:27,878 and throw him in the water? 482 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,402 We could, but... 483 00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:30,944 But there's a bunch of kids down there. 484 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,355 - There's kids! - Are there kids? Shit. 485 00:20:32,380 --> 00:20:33,675 - That's good, then. They'll find the body. 486 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,152 - Well, that's nice. Okay. - And they'll call the cops. 487 00:20:35,177 --> 00:20:36,763 It-It'll be sort of like a Stand by Mesituation. 488 00:20:36,788 --> 00:20:38,070 - Yeah. - Might be fun for them. 489 00:20:38,095 --> 00:20:39,777 All right, you know what, guy? Here's what I'm feeling. 490 00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:41,781 Forget this dude. He was a deadbeat, right? 491 00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:43,590 - Can we just go home? - Yes. 492 00:20:43,633 --> 00:20:44,654 - Thank you, Charlie. - Let's go home. 493 00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:45,959 - Yeah, let's go. Let's go. - Yes. 494 00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,417 You want... you want to get some stew? 495 00:20:47,442 --> 00:20:49,093 - God, no. That stew's gross. - Yeah, man. 496 00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:50,336 - It is kind of nasty. - Yeah. 497 00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:52,207 You guys want to go to McDonald's? 498 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,643 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. 499 00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,297 McDonald's. 500 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:56,503 USA! 501 00:20:56,528 --> 00:20:59,167 USA! USA! 502 00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:04,350 USA! USA! USA! USA! 503 00:21:05,843 --> 00:21:12,872 credits