1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,341
Make way for the bees!

2
00:00:14,422 --> 00:00:16,773
_

3
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,478
Hi. Are you the inventor?

4
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,980
That'sa me! Fettuccine da Vinci!

5
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,815
Wow! Like Leonardo da Vinci?

6
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,151
No! Nothing like the portrait-painting,

7
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,029
long-haired fucking hacka.

8
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,823
- Alright then.
- Who sent you? My dad?

9
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,660
You tell him I'ma just as
successful as his brother's son!

10
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,912
And while we're at it,
it's not a competition.

11
00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:41,374
No! I'm on a very important
quest for Queen Tulip.

12
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,211
Looking for an inventor
who can build this.

13
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,923
Did she have a budget in mind?

14
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,716
The queen said money is no object.

15
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,928
Then it shall costa
one trillion dollars!

16
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:56,848
- No more than 200.
- Wella, we can makea that work, too.

17
00:00:56,849 --> 00:01:00,518
Give me a week, and I'll build
a ride your queen will never get off.

18
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,979
I mean, she'll get off,
but she won't want to get off

19
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,857
the thing that is getting her off!

20
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,316
- Wait...
- You're hired! Follow me.

21
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,111
I can take you to the castle to begin.

22
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,531
Uh, by the way,
your sign's spelled incorrectly.

23
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,867
Pull over and hide your hooch!

24
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,660
It'sa the grammar police!

25
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,663
Uh, actually, grammar has
nothing to do with spelling.

26
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,166
Grammar is the act of
forming words, but spelling...

27
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,961
Hm.

28
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,922
Patrick, who is this man,

29
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,799
and why is he in my room?

30
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,844
- Fully-clothed?
- This is Fettuccine da Vinci.

31
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:37,847
Oh! Like Leonardo da Vinci!

32
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:41,310
Nothing like that sculpture-humping,
clay-licking motherfucker!

33
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:45,314
I'm sorry. The paina runs deepa.

34
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,398
Anyway...

35
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,233
It'sa finished!

36
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:53,154
I'm underwhelmed. It's very, uh, busy...

37
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:56,073
Well, you should'vea seen
the trillion dollar version.

38
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:58,201
Now, I must warn you.

39
00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:01,078
Never set the dial past thisa red line.

40
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:04,916
Telling me not to do it only makes
me want to do it more. Leave me be.

41
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,501
You should probably listen to him.

42
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,586
I said leave me be!

43
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,839
What's a queen got to
do to jerk off in privacy?

44
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:17,221
Oh! Ooh!

45
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:23,768
Oh... Uh... Oh...

46
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,104
That sounds likea 13!

47
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:36,489
Oh my god! The queen is dead!

48
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,492
Da Vinci out!

49
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,748
Ah!

50
00:02:48,714 --> 00:02:52,502
CREDITS

51
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,638
- Tulip...
- She's in a coma, Your Majesty.

52
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,057
We don't know when or if she'll wake up.

53
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,559
Blinkerquartz!

54
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,728
How did this even happen?

55
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:11,065
It might be best to read
about it in my written report,

56
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,401
which I might never write.

57
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,194
You! Whoever you are...

58
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,821
I'm Henry, Your Majesty.

59
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,657
I've been your dedicated
servant for 10 years.

60
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,159
You got me this sweater
with this giant bear

61
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,872
and too many bells on it
for Christmas last year.

62
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,000
Thoughtless gifts for people
we don't care about

63
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,961
has always been Tulip's job...

64
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,338
Listen, ugly sweater guy,

65
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:38,010
send word to Blossom at school
and tell her to come home at once.

66
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:44,015
In times like these,
I know what always makes me feel better.

67
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:46,601
Tulip! Bring me my depression robe

68
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:48,853
and some hot chamomile tea!

69
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,563
Tulip's in a coma, Your Majesty.

70
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,858
Still? So, I have to get
my depression robe?

71
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,569
I have to do everything around here.

72
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,989
Maybe not for long.
I know this might sound insensitive,

73
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,909
but it's a terrible time for the kingdom
to be without a queen.

74
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,036
Rami IV could invade us at any moment.

75
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,996
We can't afford to look weak right now.

76
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,331
What are you getting at?

77
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:11,459
I think we should find
a backup queen immediately.

78
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,793
That's outrageous.

79
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,921
Ah, you're right. It's outrageous.

80
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,547
It would be crazy to hold

81
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,674
"The Kingdom's Next Top Queen" pageant

82
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,010
that you yourself always ramble on about

83
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,678
- whenever you're drunk.
- Hm.

84
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,973
Would there be musical numbers?
Sparkly dresses?

85
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,559
Yes! And we'll make it a competition,

86
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,811
so it seems fun and not gross,

87
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,271
even though we both know it's gross.

88
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,690
I suppose we could give it a go

89
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,277
while we wait for my beloved to wake up.

90
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,740
"The Kingdom's Next Top Queen"?

91
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,576
What kind of sadistic madness is that?

92
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,162
She's been in a coma
for less than 30 minutes.

93
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,206
We can't let him be without a queen!

94
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:53,043
Don't you remember what
he did last time she went away?

95
00:04:53,464 --> 00:04:55,925
_

96
00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:57,691
_

97
00:04:57,716 --> 00:05:01,218
What we need from you to
start things off is a location.

98
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,847
One location. Anything.

99
00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:08,350
Pick a place. Any place. One place.

100
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,353
Pick a fucking place!

101
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,816
Fuck it! We're doing a purge.

102
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:20,069
- Ice cream shop?
- Too late! Purge!

103
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,239
- Purge, motherfucker!
- No...

104
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,244
We lost half the population.

105
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,371
I still wake up in a sweat every night,

106
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,456
shouting locations.

107
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,917
But, I think we should give the queen
a little longer to wake up.

108
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:38,171
No time, my boy!
You're on pageant duty now.

109
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:39,673
Yoink! There we are.

110
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:43,968
Fuck pageant duty.
I got you into this, Your Majesty.

111
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,388
I'm gonna find a way to get you out.

112
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:51,893
Huh? "Do you have what it takes to
be the kingdom's Next Top Queen?

113
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:55,396
"Weight must reflect wealth.
Hips of son-bearing width only.

114
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,689
No fuggos."

115
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,942
Well, I'm not a fuggo! Finally,
a chance to show everyone

116
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,862
who mocked me at
Miss Havershim's School for Fuggos

117
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,281
that I was wrongfully admitted!

118
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,284
Say no to the misogynistic
beauty pageant!

119
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:12,079
- Yeah! Whatever Anna said!
- Our bodies are not our worth!

120
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,873
By the way, Anna, you look great today.

121
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,750
Thanks, Sean. I cut out carbs.

122
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:18,754
Boycott the pageant! There's a pageant?

123
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,341
New queen? Hear that, Larry?

124
00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:25,134
I'm gonna be queen!

125
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,261
You're already a queen, Bertha.

126
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,847
Queen of the shrews!

127
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,269
Ugh! I knew that bastard

128
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,689
would try to replace Tulip one day.

129
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:42,735
On the other hand,
if I win one dumb archaic contest,

130
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,570
I get half his loot and the power

131
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,074
to overthrow the kingdom! I'm in.

132
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,661
? We're the luckiest girls ?

133
00:06:50,662 --> 00:06:52,162
? In the world ?

134
00:06:52,163 --> 00:06:53,872
? ? I'm a 10 ?
? ? I'm a 10 ?

135
00:06:53,873 --> 00:06:55,541
? I'm a 3.2! ?

136
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:58,376
I can't believe they're actually
going through with this.

137
00:06:58,377 --> 00:07:00,462
I have to try and get them to stop.

138
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:06,885
? True love is fleeting,
that's why we're competing ?

139
00:07:06,886 --> 00:07:10,305
? To be the next queen,
we'll be rolling in green ?

140
00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:11,807
? We want ?

141
00:07:11,808 --> 00:07:15,006
? Money, money, money,
money, money, money... ?

142
00:07:15,031 --> 00:07:17,311
They're gonna bleed me dry.

143
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,857
Oh. She's hot. Sparkly dress...

144
00:07:19,858 --> 00:07:22,499
? Money, money, money, money! ?

145
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,197
Their parents must be very proud!

146
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,702
Let's give them all a hand
for singing while walking!

147
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,456
You have to stop this.

148
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,667
- This is insane.
- Oh, you're right, Patrick.

149
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,210
Absolutely insane.

150
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,838
It's 74 degrees in here!

151
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,548
Those nipples are never gonna pop!

152
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,217
Ice, people! I need ice!

153
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:51,346
Everyone here is fucking heartless.

154
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,557
The only reason you
should be in this pageant

155
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,184
is for yourself.

156
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:59,645
You're all queens who don't need
to do any of this to impress a king!

157
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,272
Now, turn around and bend over

158
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,400
so I can bleach and wax your assholes!

159
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,570
Ah!

160
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:10,406
I'm super high and thought
this would be funny.

161
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,159
So far, 10 out of 10 hilarious.

162
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,119
Why are you here?

163
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,623
I'm just really pretty, right?

164
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:19,957
Ooh! Sorry I'm late.

165
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,668
You're one of Blossom's
ladies-in-waiting.

166
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,920
Does she know you're here?

167
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:26,089
Uh... Sure!

168
00:08:26,528 --> 00:08:28,389
_

169
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,384
- Ivy.
- Here!

170
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,136
Human Shield.

171
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,554
Fern.

172
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,390
Present!

173
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:43,272
Fern, just say "here"
like a normal person,

174
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,192
you pretentious twat!

175
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:49,070
Working for Blossom is like
getting ass-fucked with a jalapeno!

176
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:53,324
But if I'm queen, it will be my
jalapeno doing the ass-fucking!

177
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,702
Ugh... That's hard to respond to.

178
00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,413
Oh, sorry.

179
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:02,250
Mom?! What are you doing here?

180
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,253
Your father wants to see me in
a swimsuit in front of a crowd.

181
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,088
It's his new thing. Last year,

182
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:10,175
it was watching me do an erotic dance
while holding three bananas!

183
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:15,596
This position reminds me
of another thing your father's into!

184
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,515
Ugh! Mom, stop being gross!

185
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,601
Don't kink shame, honey!

186
00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:22,854
Oh, come on, sir, cheer up.

187
00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:25,356
We all miss Queen What's-Her-Face...

188
00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:27,191
- Tulip!
- Right, Queen Dollop.

189
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:30,111
But, look around.
You're the envy of every man

190
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,821
and the desire of every woman.

191
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:34,032
Nothing you say can cheer me up.

192
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:39,495
And now, every man's fantasy.

193
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:43,332
Women slithering around in goo
made from melted-down horse hooves!

194
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,877
Let the gelatin wrestling begin!

195
00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:48,213
Ooh! There's always room for gelatin.

196
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,301
It's somehow more erotic

197
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,679
watching with a friend.

198
00:09:57,723 --> 00:10:01,225
I've gotta find a way
to help you out of this,

199
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,935
- but how?
- How indeed!

200
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,105
Ah! What the fuck! Who are you?

201
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,231
Sir Blemish, at your service!

202
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,902
If you need a bedpan emptied
or a lesson learned, I'm your man.

203
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,612
Wait, you're a knight?

204
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,780
- I sure am!
- But, you're...

205
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,909
Elbow-deep in people juice?
I used to be a top-ranking knight

206
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:20,453
until the year I drew the king
for Secret Santa.

207
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,163
I couldn't think of the right gift,
panicked,

208
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,290
and shoved a bunch of
yarn into a paper bag.

209
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,875
I was demoted on the spot.

210
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:28,586
That's why the gift is
supposed to be secret.

211
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,297
I know that now. Anyway,
one day, you're on top of the world,

212
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,965
and the next, you're a piss jockey.

213
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,759
But, that's the life of a knight!

214
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,387
Well, I'm going to wake up Queen
Tulip, no matter how long it takes.

215
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,098
Well, according to royal rule,
if a new queen is crowned,

216
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,309
Tulip will go back to being
Tulip Anderson,

217
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,019
and she'll do
what most former queens do.

218
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,563
Sell makeup to her friends
in an escalating pyramid scheme

219
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,149
until she alienates everyone
who's ever cared about her.

220
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,319
I won't let that happen. I promise.

221
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,822
I'll help!
I just gotta empty this first.

222
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,868
Oh, hell no!

223
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,707
Excuse me?
We're looking for medical books

224
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:10,087
focused on women,
preferably with a lot of pictures.

225
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,380
Why?

226
00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:15,509
Well, we're trying to wake
the queen up from her coma.

227
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,553
Women In Comas.

228
00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:20,305
Aisle 23.

229
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,893
Why are so many fairy tales
about unconscious women?

230
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,228
Wish fulfillment!

231
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:29,247
Ooh! This one looks interesting!
- _

232
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,132
That's not what you think it is.

233
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:34,778
I think I know what to do!

234
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:38,489
This is just about a legume!

235
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,158
How disgusting!

236
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:47,039
Are-are you sure you know what to do?

237
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,878
I'm a dashing prince. It's my job
to wake up sleeping beauties.

238
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:59,427
I respect you. I would very much like it
if you woke up on your own time.

239
00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:01,053
I honor your boundaries.

240
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,057
Now everyone, give her some space!
That's the final step.

241
00:12:05,851 --> 00:12:09,061
- Aren't you supposed to kiss her?
- Kiss an unconscious woman?

242
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,855
I'm not falling for that one again.

243
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,149
Harrumph!

244
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,320
We can't bring her out of her coma,

245
00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:19,363
but we can offer an around-the-clock

246
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,201
seven-pronged security
system if you like.

247
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,828
If you're here,
who's guarding Snow White?

248
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:29,124
Oh, don't worry about it.
She's safe in her secure glass case.

249
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:39,801
I mean, she's probably fine, right?

250
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,680
I'm here to put your queen

251
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,892
into a coma!

252
00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,894
Ugh! She's already in a coma!

253
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:52,564
Damn, I'm good! Nice job, Ethel!

254
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:58,195
- Oh my god!
- Ah! That's just a bit I do.

255
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,156
You're funny.

256
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:03,908
So, do you like piss?

257
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:04,854
Wha...

258
00:13:04,971 --> 00:13:07,181
_

259
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:20,550
Ooh! She just went down unda!

260
00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:23,177
That was Fern with a very weird talent.

261
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,888
Our next contestant has
another weird talent called

262
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,723
Mongolian throat singing!

263
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,726
I don't know what that is,
but I like the word throat.

264
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,020
I'm Trina, and if I win,

265
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,232
I'm gonna use the money
to go to college!

266
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,791
Brava!

267
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,210
That was a disaster. Somehow,

268
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,796
she's even more comatose
than she was before,

269
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:01,257
and we're running out of time!
What do we do?

270
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,760
There's only one thing we can do.

271
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,306
Forgive me, my queen.

272
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:12,102
- It's the merciful thing to do!
- What are you doing?!

273
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,443
That's it!

274
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:23,279
We need to find the inventor
of this machine to reverse it!

275
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,448
His name is Fettuccine da Vinci.

276
00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,909
- Like Leonardo?
- Nothing like that

277
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:31,163
bullshit-hack-architect-wannabe-asswad!

278
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:37,210
When I flew, I gota stucka.

279
00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:38,961
Been herea the whole time.

280
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,422
Wasn't it weird when that guy drank pee?

281
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:44,467
Oh, that was you?

282
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:47,553
I gotta be honest, that wasa disgusting.

283
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,806
I mean, Gesùs Cristos, dude.

284
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:54,269
? Swords and ships
and gold and dicks! ?

285
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:05,363
Next up, the oratory part
of the competition!

286
00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:06,739
Woo!

287
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,658
Oratory, not oral.

288
00:15:08,659 --> 00:15:09,700
Boo!

289
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,787
But they will be in bathing suits!

290
00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:15,248
I often reflect on the fact that

291
00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:18,084
we're only a small part
of the big universe.

292
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,127
And if you stood far enough away

293
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,420
and looked back at us,

294
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,840
we'd be nothing more
than a tiny blue speck

295
00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:25,591
in the midst of vastness,

296
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:29,012
completely insignificant.

297
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:32,765
The question was,

298
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,434
have you ever kissed a girl, and if so,

299
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,936
- how much?
- But...

300
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,689
Stacy, there's a lot of tension
between rulers right now.

301
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,566
As the Kingdom's Next Top Queen,

302
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:44,235
how would you keep us from going to war?

303
00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:47,488
Um, I think that we should
help other kingdoms and such,

304
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,116
and the kingdoms need kings and such.

305
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,076
And my dog is my best friend,

306
00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:54,537
and my dog won't eat vegetables,

307
00:15:54,538 --> 00:15:58,374
which is bad because vegetables
are good... and such.

308
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,001
Also, in college,

309
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,254
I kissed a girl and such.

310
00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:06,591
Congratulations!
That's the correct answer!

311
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:08,384
Just give her the crown!

312
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,512
Tulip would think she's super hot!

313
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:21,147
Red to red, black to black.

314
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,941
If this doesn't work,
the king will have you beheaded.

315
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:26,235
Ha! You hear that, Leonardo?

316
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,738
I'm so dangerous, I might be beheaded!

317
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:32,075
Bet your little fucking paintings
never gota this much heat!

318
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,954
Quickly! A convenient
storm is rolling in!

319
00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:47,090
It's working! She's alive!

320
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,137
Did I do it? Did I fix it?

321
00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:54,890
Uh...

322
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,355
You really disappointed me, Fettuccine!

323
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:04,148
Dad? Is thata you? No?

324
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,067
Then shuta the fuck up!

325
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,236
We have to find the queen
before it's too late!

326
00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:10,154
If you see her, remind her to hydrate.

327
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:12,990
Things are looking a little brown
in pee-pee town.

328
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,911
Will you stop following me?
And put down that bedpan!

329
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:22,542
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for!

330
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:24,752
King Merriman will crown the kingdom's

331
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,671
Next Top Queen!

332
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:29,091
Making it as if Queen
Tulip never existed.

333
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,219
Ah!

334
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,138
No!

335
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,473
King Merriman,

336
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:38,975
stop!

337
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:42,728
Patrick, if you want to compete,
you need to go back to the beginning.

338
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:43,980
Get this man a bikini!

339
00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:46,941
Sire, Queen Tulip is awake...
and missing...

340
00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:49,444
and probably really mad.

341
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,198
No! New Tulip!

342
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:04,293
Hooray! Oh, Tulip...

343
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,255
Sugar plum, you're awake...

344
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,340
Don't "sugar plum" me!

345
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:14,010
I was in a masturbation
coma for a few hours,

346
00:18:14,011 --> 00:18:17,555
and you move to replace me
with some barely legal trollop?!

347
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:20,683
I should put everyone
in this room to death!

348
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:23,019
Arriva-da-Vinci!

349
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,521
Ah!

350
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:29,526
I'm okay! Wow, it'sa dusty up here!

351
00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:32,320
This is a misunderstanding.

352
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:34,280
I didn't want to replace you,

353
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,532
but, politically, I had to.

354
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:38,117
Then, I wanted to

355
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,869
because there was musical numbers

356
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,371
- and gelatin!
- Hyah!

357
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:45,374
This might be my fried brain
and bruised cervix talking,

358
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,293
but maybe we don't need a king.

359
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:51,298
Welcome to Queenstown, motherfuckers!

360
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:54,884
Is she dead yet?

361
00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:58,471
Make the inheritance check out to
Awesome Blossom. It's my LLC.

362
00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:01,891
Not now, petal. Mommy and Daddy
are having a disagreement.

363
00:19:01,892 --> 00:19:04,810
Mommy thinks Daddy should die,
Daddy disagrees.

364
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,312
She's not dead?

365
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:09,190
I'm missing Salisbury
steak day at school.

366
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,108
One of you better fucking die!

367
00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:14,070
Oh, one of us is gonna die.

368
00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:16,281
Ah! Ow! Ah! Ah!

369
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,618
Damn. I knew it was too good to last.

370
00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:21,661
Hyah!

371
00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:25,332
But if she kills Merriman,
the whole kingdom will collapse.

372
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:33,422
I am really sorry, Blossom,
but this is for the greater good.

373
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,509
You're a weird dude, Patrick.

374
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,554
Oh no! Tulip!

375
00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:43,140
Merriman!
I guess you better stop fighting

376
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:44,643
and help your daughter!

377
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:46,644
Blossom!

378
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:48,813
Patrick, you fucking dick!

379
00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:50,815
Ah! Holy shit!

380
00:19:50,816 --> 00:19:53,485
Fern? But you were
in roll call this morning!

381
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,405
Oh my god,

382
00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:59,949
were you trying to win sex with my dad?!

383
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:01,535
Princess Blossom, behind you!

384
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:04,245
Oh shit.

385
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,371
Oh!

386
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,373
Tulip! Use your weird devil eyes!

387
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,376
I'm out of juice, you idiot!

388
00:20:13,297 --> 00:20:15,381
I don't need to be rescued.

389
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,634
I'm a grown woman,
not some little bitch.

390
00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:20,554
Ah!

391
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:24,140
Who else has a violence boner?
Eh? Raise your dicks.

392
00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:26,143
Daddy! Get us outta here!

393
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,896
Human centipede!

394
00:20:29,897 --> 00:20:32,399
- What?
- I mean human ladder!

395
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:40,072
Ah, I got the fucking shaft.
And it was my idea.

396
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,491
Hold on. We'll get a rope.

397
00:20:48,165 --> 00:20:50,667
No. I deserve this.

398
00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:05,848
This bastard's having a heart attack!
I have to save him!

399
00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:07,684
Or her. I-I shouldn't assume.

400
00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:16,944
My self-sacrifice gets
really muddled if you die!

401
00:21:20,239 --> 00:21:23,575
I couldn't save him. Or her.

402
00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:35,753
It was a her.

403
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:38,340
Don't worry! I saved the kid!

404
00:21:42,052 --> 00:21:45,472
That is a very unlucky gene pool.

405
00:21:46,932 --> 00:21:49,433
Everything worked out in the end.

406
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,811
Well, the queen is alive
and back on the throne,

407
00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:54,230
but it was my fault in the first place.

408
00:21:54,231 --> 00:21:57,608
No matter what I do,
I always seem to screw things up.

409
00:21:57,609 --> 00:22:00,444
Sometimes, I wonder if
I'm even meant to be a knight.

410
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,738
Did you ever wonder that?

411
00:22:03,949 --> 00:22:06,409
Eh, know what? Never mind. Shh!

412
00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:08,828
This is a funeral. Christ!

413
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:10,747
Have some goddamn respect.

414
00:22:17,975 --> 00:22:20,251
- _
- _

415
00:22:28,682 --> 00:22:31,142
So, we're all good, right?

416
00:22:31,143 --> 00:22:34,270
As far as the kingdom
and our reputation are concerned, yes.

417
00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:37,523
As far as you and I are concerned,
absolutely fucking not.

418
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:39,526
Because of the me-replacing-you thing?!

419
00:22:41,153 --> 00:22:43,112
You're right. That was bad.

420
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:45,616
I'm sorry. And now, you forgive me.

421
00:22:48,869 --> 00:22:50,745
Oh, she forgives me.

422
00:22:50,746 --> 00:22:53,372
That kangaroo was a rental!

423
00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:56,418
I lost my deposit!

424
00:23:29,395 --> 00:23:34,824
CREDITS