1
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,818
Get the stew right up

2
00:00:13,861 --> 00:00:15,123
- under her nose.
- Okay. Okay.

3
00:00:15,167 --> 00:00:16,473
And let it waft up in.

4
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:17,735
She keeps moving and her hair

5
00:00:17,778 --> 00:00:19,127
keeps getting in the stew.

6
00:00:19,171 --> 00:00:20,216
Guys, hey, guys, guys.

7
00:00:20,259 --> 00:00:21,347
You can stop.

8
00:00:21,391 --> 00:00:23,610
Stew has never woken anyone up, ever.

9
00:00:23,654 --> 00:00:25,003
Here, give me-give me stew.

10
00:00:25,046 --> 00:00:26,439
- I'll eat it.
- All right, fine.

11
00:00:26,483 --> 00:00:27,962
But I feel like the stew... No, see?

12
00:00:28,006 --> 00:00:29,225
It's... Oh, it worked! Here she comes!

13
00:00:29,268 --> 00:00:30,658
- Oh!
- Hey, Dee!

14
00:00:30,683 --> 00:00:32,793
- Don't worry, Dee...
- Hi, Dee. Was it the stew that woke you up?

15
00:00:32,837 --> 00:00:34,142
Ow. What happened?

16
00:00:34,186 --> 00:00:35,318
Oh, don't worry.

17
00:00:35,361 --> 00:00:37,668
We're, uh,
safe and sound in Patty's Pub.

18
00:00:38,369 --> 00:00:39,713
What? We're back home?

19
00:00:39,757 --> 00:00:40,994
- Oh, no, no, no.
- No.

20
00:00:41,019 --> 00:00:42,499
- It's, uh "Patty's" with a T.
- Yeah.

21
00:00:42,524 --> 00:00:44,091
- P-A-T-T-Y.
- What is going on?

22
00:00:44,116 --> 00:00:46,248
What-what time is it? What day is it?

23
00:00:46,273 --> 00:00:47,622
Wait, did I miss the thing?

24
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:49,562
- What thing? Oh, the show?
- Uh, the acting thing?

25
00:00:49,587 --> 00:00:50,610
- Oh, yeah, you missed it.
- Oh, oh, no.

26
00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:52,202
- No.
- Did you still want to do that?

27
00:00:52,683 --> 00:00:54,467
- You still want to do... That's not gonna happen.
- Oh, no!

28
00:00:54,511 --> 00:00:55,587
Oh, goddamn you.

29
00:00:55,612 --> 00:00:57,179
You're not gonna be able
to walk back to the city

30
00:00:57,204 --> 00:00:58,509
'cause we're way out in the...

31
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,999
What? No!

32
00:01:05,610 --> 00:01:09,360
Oh, goddamn it!

33
00:01:13,752 --> 00:01:16,712
_

34
00:01:16,736 --> 00:01:23,946
credits

35
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,780
I cannot believe you
guys did this to me.

36
00:01:37,832 --> 00:01:40,313
Dee, can you please be
grateful about this experience?

37
00:01:40,356 --> 00:01:42,706
I mean, take it in, will you?
Uh, here we are.

38
00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:44,621
We're-we're in this charming little pub.

39
00:01:44,665 --> 00:01:46,972
You can smell fresh peat grass
burning in the fireplace.

40
00:01:47,015 --> 00:01:48,582
You know, well, along with the, uh,

41
00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:49,800
the evidence of Frank's involvement

42
00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:52,064
- in a sex trafficking ring.
- Alleged.

43
00:01:52,107 --> 00:01:53,761
Yeah, Dee, look,
you got to embrace this.

44
00:01:53,804 --> 00:01:55,371
You know?
All you're doing is complaining.

45
00:01:55,422 --> 00:01:57,247
This place is amazing.

46
00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:59,375
With the exception of
all the sheep wool.

47
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:00,724
Is that bothering anybody else?

48
00:02:00,768 --> 00:02:02,981
No, because
we don't have COVID like you do.

49
00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:04,641
- You're sick.
- No, I don't have COVID.

50
00:02:04,685 --> 00:02:05,903
Even the beer here sucks.

51
00:02:05,947 --> 00:02:07,427
Will you look at this? It's all foam.

52
00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:08,776
What are you doing?

53
00:02:09,492 --> 00:02:11,257
Oh. Sorry.

54
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:12,954
We-we run our own bar,

55
00:02:12,998 --> 00:02:14,903
- so I forget and sometimes I serve myself.
- Huh.

56
00:02:14,928 --> 00:02:16,210
- I'm just gonna squeak by you.
- Hmm.

57
00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,133
Actually, while I got you here,
pal, can I ask you a question?

58
00:02:18,177 --> 00:02:19,830
Do you know a fella in this town,

59
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,673
goes by the name of Shelley Kelly?

60
00:02:21,702 --> 00:02:22,877
Yeah, everybody knows him.

61
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,264
He's the, uh, local, uh, cheesemonger.

62
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:26,515
Oh...

63
00:02:26,576 --> 00:02:29,014
H-He's the, uh... cheese mongrel. Wow.

64
00:02:29,057 --> 00:02:30,537
I did not know he was a mongrel.

65
00:02:30,580 --> 00:02:31,842
Um, how severe is it?

66
00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:34,062
Can-can he walk? Does he drool, or...

67
00:02:34,106 --> 00:02:36,238
- Monger, Charlie. Cheesemonger.
- Cheesemonger.

68
00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,284
Mon... Cheese...
Why are you saying it that way?

69
00:02:38,327 --> 00:02:40,242
Is he a mongrel or a monster?
That's all I want to know.

70
00:02:40,286 --> 00:02:42,679
- I wonder if he's cute.
- Who?

71
00:02:42,723 --> 00:02:43,854
Your brother, the cheese monster.

72
00:02:43,898 --> 00:02:46,076
Do not have sex with my brother, Mac.

73
00:02:46,146 --> 00:02:47,467
You know, when I was Irish first,

74
00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:50,278
then I-then I wanted to find
out what my heritage was.

75
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,772
But now that I'm gay first,
and that's my identity,

76
00:02:52,815 --> 00:02:55,340
then maybe I should just be
plowing a bunch of dudes,

77
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,559
- and-and maybe a bunch of cheese monsters. I don't know.
- Aw, come on, man.

78
00:02:57,603 --> 00:02:59,082
- Stop! Would you just...
- There's gay or badass. - Let it go, Mac!

79
00:02:59,126 --> 00:03:01,302
You need to shut up, okay?

80
00:03:01,346 --> 00:03:02,825
Identity doesn't have to factor

81
00:03:02,869 --> 00:03:04,566
into absolutely every decision you make.

82
00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:06,568
All right? If a man
wants to stand, he doesn't go,

83
00:03:06,612 --> 00:03:08,048
"Uh, uh, what would a Dutchman do?

84
00:03:08,091 --> 00:03:09,658
Would a Dutchman stand?" Okay?

85
00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:11,791
And if-if an Italian
wants to eat a sandwich,

86
00:03:11,834 --> 00:03:13,706
he doesn't go,
"I have to eat plates of spaghetti

87
00:03:13,749 --> 00:03:14,924
because I'm an Italian."

88
00:03:14,968 --> 00:03:16,926
He just eats the goddamn sandwich.

89
00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:18,580
Okay? Oh, you fool.

90
00:03:18,624 --> 00:03:20,930
If you want to go out and bang
every single guy in Ireland,

91
00:03:20,974 --> 00:03:22,541
just go bang every guy in Ireland

92
00:03:22,584 --> 00:03:24,412
and forget what your
identity has to do with it.

93
00:03:24,456 --> 00:03:26,240
Or you could just find one guy,

94
00:03:26,283 --> 00:03:27,502
fall in love, get in a relationship

95
00:03:27,546 --> 00:03:28,895
and shut the hell up about it.

96
00:03:28,938 --> 00:03:30,766
- Please stop doing that.
- Oh, come on, man!

97
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,682
If I got to stop mid-rant every
time I want to order a beer,

98
00:03:33,726 --> 00:03:35,380
i-it's gonna interrupt my flow.

99
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,425
Right? Why don't you just keep
track of what we're drinking

100
00:03:37,469 --> 00:03:39,384
and charge it to our individual rooms.

101
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,689
Oh, there's only one room.

102
00:03:40,733 --> 00:03:41,995
- Hmm?
- Yeah.

103
00:03:42,038 --> 00:03:44,258
One room? Wha... How's that gonna work?

104
00:03:44,301 --> 00:03:46,260
- Nah, that's good.
- That's good?

105
00:03:46,303 --> 00:03:48,126
All of us crammed in one
wool-infested room...

106
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:48,828
that sounds good to you?

107
00:03:48,871 --> 00:03:51,134
You want an authentic
European experience.

108
00:03:51,178 --> 00:03:52,309
- That's what it is.
- Well, no, that...

109
00:03:52,353 --> 00:03:53,615
That's too authentic, okay?

110
00:03:53,659 --> 00:03:55,400
I'm not-I'm not... I'm not staying here.

111
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,314
I'm gonna rent a castle.

112
00:03:57,358 --> 00:03:59,055
Well,
wait for me. I'm not staying, either.

113
00:03:59,099 --> 00:04:01,144
I'll tell you what,
I'm not paying for this beer, okay?

114
00:04:01,188 --> 00:04:03,037
'Cause you can barely
swallow this sludge.

115
00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:16,176
Oh, oh, Dennis, hey.

116
00:04:16,201 --> 00:04:17,957
You should let me do the
talking in there, okay?

117
00:04:17,982 --> 00:04:19,615
- Why?
- Why?

118
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,295
'Cause if you cough in there,
they're not gonna rent us

119
00:04:21,338 --> 00:04:22,992
the castle 'cause they're gonna know
you have COVID.

120
00:04:23,036 --> 00:04:24,733
Dee, you bitch. I don't have COVID.

121
00:04:24,777 --> 00:04:26,474
Okay? I'm not gonna cough in there.

122
00:04:26,518 --> 00:04:28,824
You-you think I can't pinch off a cough?

123
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:30,043
I will do the talking.

124
00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:36,651
Oh. Hi there.

125
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:38,086
Beautiful day, isn't it? Huh?

126
00:04:38,119 --> 00:04:39,618
G-Grand, as you say.

127
00:04:39,661 --> 00:04:42,795
I think what they say is,
"Top o' the mornin'."

128
00:04:42,838 --> 00:04:44,318
Ah, that's a stereotype. Yeah.

129
00:04:44,361 --> 00:04:47,190
Excuse my sister, she's, uh,
not very good at talking.

130
00:04:47,234 --> 00:04:50,092
Um, so we're actually here looking f...

131
00:04:52,413 --> 00:04:54,284
Uh-oh.

132
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,677
Oh, gosh.

133
00:04:55,721 --> 00:04:57,200
You okay there, Dennis?

134
00:04:59,246 --> 00:05:01,378
Uh, ah...

135
00:05:01,422 --> 00:05:03,293
Huh. Looks like I'll
be doing the talking.

136
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,600
- No.
- Uh, we would be looking for a castle,

137
00:05:05,644 --> 00:05:08,385
and we are very interested
in modern amenities, please.

138
00:05:08,429 --> 00:05:11,519
You know, your thermostats and
your remotes and shit like that.

139
00:05:11,563 --> 00:05:13,521
Ar-Are you jotting any of this down?

140
00:05:13,565 --> 00:05:15,523
Yeah, yeah, right. So... Sorry.

141
00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:17,264
You caught me a little off guard,
is all.

142
00:05:17,307 --> 00:05:18,874
So, you're-you're looking for a castle?

143
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:21,050
Mm. Mm-hmm.

144
00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:23,052
Is he all right?

145
00:05:23,096 --> 00:05:25,402
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

146
00:05:25,646 --> 00:05:26,887
Yeah, he's okay.

147
00:05:26,912 --> 00:05:29,102
Well, yes and no.

148
00:05:29,145 --> 00:05:32,018
You know what it is? He's a mongrel.

149
00:05:32,059 --> 00:05:33,207
No.

150
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:35,282
And that's why I've
always been the talker.

151
00:05:35,325 --> 00:05:36,849
- Bitch. Bitch.
- Oh, boy, did you hear that?

152
00:05:36,892 --> 00:05:39,025
Yep, here-here he goes. Here he goes.

153
00:05:39,068 --> 00:05:41,793
Yeah. We have to keep him
in the basement in America,

154
00:05:41,818 --> 00:05:45,553
'cause one of his ticks is that
he brutally masturbates himself.

155
00:05:45,597 --> 00:05:47,686
- No, no.
- Oh, yeah.

156
00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:49,731
Yeah, he-he does a real number on it.

157
00:05:49,775 --> 00:05:51,603
Yeah. He-he's shredded it down

158
00:05:51,646 --> 00:05:53,648
- to a little tiny nub at this point.
- No!

159
00:05:53,692 --> 00:05:55,041
Is what it is. No, no. He's saying,

160
00:05:55,084 --> 00:05:57,347
"Down there,
there's barely anything left."

161
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:58,871
- Damn it!
- That's what he's saying.

162
00:05:58,914 --> 00:06:00,220
There's nothing left down there.

163
00:06:00,263 --> 00:06:02,131
Yeah, so, um,

164
00:06:02,156 --> 00:06:04,810
I don't see you doing
a lot of castle searching.

165
00:06:14,462 --> 00:06:15,811
Bitch.

166
00:06:16,429 --> 00:06:18,214
He's also allergic to sheep.

167
00:06:23,678 --> 00:06:25,443
Go on, go on, out.

168
00:06:26,068 --> 00:06:28,615
Get out, you bastards!

169
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,576
- Out.
- Hello, sir?

170
00:06:30,601 --> 00:06:33,279
Oh, sorry. I was, uh...

171
00:06:33,304 --> 00:06:35,360
Just bashing some rats.

172
00:06:35,385 --> 00:06:37,039
I get it. It's cool.
Don't worry about it.

173
00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,592
I bash a lot of rats
in my business, too.

174
00:06:38,617 --> 00:06:40,227
And-and rats love cheese,

175
00:06:40,252 --> 00:06:42,167
so I imagine y-you
get a lot of 'em here.

176
00:06:42,252 --> 00:06:43,934
- This is, like, the place for rats.
- Yeah, yeah.

177
00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:45,381
Well, how can I help you?

178
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,920
Uh, right, well, uh,
I'm looking for, uh,

179
00:06:47,963 --> 00:06:50,313
a young man named Shelley Kelly.
Is he around?

180
00:06:50,357 --> 00:06:53,229
I'm Shelley Kelly. Who's asking?

181
00:06:53,273 --> 00:06:55,144
Oh. I'm sorry. I...

182
00:06:55,188 --> 00:06:56,972
I'm looking for a-a younger man.

183
00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:58,931
Uh, I'm looking
for the young Shelley Kelly.

184
00:06:59,013 --> 00:07:00,131
Is he around?

185
00:07:00,423 --> 00:07:02,518
Hey, you-you mind if I
sample some of your jellies?

186
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:04,676
- Oh, no. Go on. Help yourself.
- Ah.

187
00:07:04,719 --> 00:07:06,068
Delightful.

188
00:07:06,765 --> 00:07:08,549
Well, I'm...

189
00:07:08,593 --> 00:07:11,073
I'm the only Shelley Kelly
around here that I know of.

190
00:07:11,117 --> 00:07:13,119
- Uh...
- Ooh.

191
00:07:13,162 --> 00:07:16,122
This is the tits right here.

192
00:07:16,165 --> 00:07:18,167
Yeah,
no, that... that doesn't make sense.

193
00:07:18,211 --> 00:07:20,779
See-see,
Shelley Kelly is a-is a kid like me.

194
00:07:20,822 --> 00:07:21,823
Uh, we're pen pals.

195
00:07:21,867 --> 00:07:25,174
Sweet Jesus.

196
00:07:25,218 --> 00:07:26,349
Charlie?

197
00:07:26,393 --> 00:07:27,925
Ugh. That's a miss.

198
00:07:27,977 --> 00:07:30,005
It's got something in it like sand.

199
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:32,162
It's full of sand. Ech.

200
00:07:32,187 --> 00:07:33,835
Yeah, I... I'm Charlie.

201
00:07:33,879 --> 00:07:35,097
Mmm. I know what it is.

202
00:07:35,141 --> 00:07:36,185
It's seeds.

203
00:07:36,229 --> 00:07:37,534
Is there seeds in it?

204
00:07:37,578 --> 00:07:38,840
And there's too many of 'em.

205
00:07:39,928 --> 00:07:41,582
There's a lot of seeds.

206
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,743
_

207
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,057
_

208
00:07:47,058 --> 00:07:49,248
_

209
00:07:49,772 --> 00:07:53,216
_

210
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:57,028
_

211
00:07:57,238 --> 00:07:59,003
_

212
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,072
_

213
00:08:04,827 --> 00:08:06,990
_

214
00:08:09,008 --> 00:08:11,123
_

215
00:08:11,628 --> 00:08:13,053
_

216
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:15,703
It was a bad one.

217
00:08:15,747 --> 00:08:17,052
That's buried in there.

218
00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:19,315
That's gonna be in there all week.
Oh, God.

219
00:08:20,885 --> 00:08:22,409
What'd I miss?

220
00:08:26,679 --> 00:08:29,272
Hello! Hello... Hello?

221
00:08:29,361 --> 00:08:31,494
Oh, Father, Father,
Father, I've got news.

222
00:08:31,522 --> 00:08:33,437
I've got wonderful news.

223
00:08:34,187 --> 00:08:36,614
Okay, so, I used to be Irish,

224
00:08:36,658 --> 00:08:38,137
and now I'm Dutch.

225
00:08:38,181 --> 00:08:39,791
Of course, I was badass the entire time,

226
00:08:39,835 --> 00:08:41,271
but when you surround yourself
with people

227
00:08:41,315 --> 00:08:42,881
who aren't as badass as you,

228
00:08:42,925 --> 00:08:44,833
that tends to be quite isolating.

229
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,905
The point is I was confused.

230
00:08:47,955 --> 00:08:50,218
To be honest with you,
I wanted to run through a bunch of pipe,

231
00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:52,213
if you know what I mean...
Well, you know what I mean.

232
00:08:52,257 --> 00:08:54,564
But then I decided, you know what?

233
00:08:54,607 --> 00:08:57,523
I only want one man inside of me.

234
00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:59,699
The Big Man. The Big Man upstairs.

235
00:08:59,743 --> 00:09:01,309
The only man that can fill me up.

236
00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:04,530
Well, and his son. And the Holy Spirit.

237
00:09:04,574 --> 00:09:06,097
I'll take all three of them at once.

238
00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:07,305
I've done that before.

239
00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:09,709
That was more in a physical sense,
not a spiritual one.

240
00:09:09,753 --> 00:09:12,059
And believe me, it was messy.

241
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:14,018
Totally worth it, though. I loved it.

242
00:09:14,068 --> 00:09:16,593
Either way, Father,
what I have decided is that

243
00:09:16,629 --> 00:09:19,502
the most important
aspect of my identity...

244
00:09:19,545 --> 00:09:20,981
it's not being gay.

245
00:09:21,025 --> 00:09:23,157
It's not being Irish.
It's not being badass.

246
00:09:23,201 --> 00:09:25,116
It's being Catholic.

247
00:09:25,751 --> 00:09:27,553
Therefore, I want to become

248
00:09:27,597 --> 00:09:29,555
a Catholic priest!

249
00:09:31,386 --> 00:09:34,570
Well, that's nice to hear.

250
00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:38,521
But perhaps we could talk
at a more appropriate time.

251
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:43,221
Oh.

252
00:09:43,264 --> 00:09:45,049
Uh... Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, everybody.

253
00:09:45,092 --> 00:09:46,354
I'll just get in the back of the line,

254
00:09:46,398 --> 00:09:47,573
and then, uh, get the cracker,

255
00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:48,922
and then we'll talk later.

256
00:09:48,966 --> 00:09:50,184
Okay.

257
00:09:53,231 --> 00:09:55,276
Oh, goddamn it, what the hell is this?

258
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,278
That realtor screwed us.

259
00:09:57,322 --> 00:09:59,324
Probably because you caused a scene.

260
00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:02,066
What are you talking about, Dee?
This-this place is amazing.

261
00:10:02,109 --> 00:10:03,589
I mean, I saw an old bell tower outside

262
00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:05,112
and what I think used to be a moat.

263
00:10:05,156 --> 00:10:06,679
Okay, this place is perfect.

264
00:10:06,723 --> 00:10:08,507
This place is not perfect.

265
00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:10,465
It's a ruin. We can't sleep here.

266
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:12,598
Wh... Dee, I'm sure there's,
like, a furnished area

267
00:10:12,642 --> 00:10:15,122
with, like, bedrooms and shit somewhere.
I mean, what, do you,

268
00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:16,297
what, do you want
to walk into a castle...

269
00:10:16,341 --> 00:10:17,951
and have it feel like a Hyatt?

270
00:10:17,995 --> 00:10:19,605
I mean, where's the charm in that?

271
00:10:19,649 --> 00:10:22,216
Whoa. This place has a dark past.

272
00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:24,741
Murder, betrayal, beheadings.

273
00:10:24,784 --> 00:10:26,960
Well, you know, it's a castle, Dee.

274
00:10:27,004 --> 00:10:29,136
You know, people were going
crazy in castles all the time.

275
00:10:29,180 --> 00:10:31,008
And beheading people...
well, that-that was just

276
00:10:31,051 --> 00:10:33,488
their way of solving problems
back then, you know.

277
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:35,142
That's tenth century charm for you.

278
00:10:35,186 --> 00:10:36,491
Yeah.

279
00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:38,885
Yeah, this was in 2008.

280
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:41,192
- Two... What?
- Yeah. A mother

281
00:10:41,235 --> 00:10:43,977
went insane and beheaded
all four children.

282
00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:46,850
- Just chopped their heads right off.
- Well, that-that is...

283
00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,895
- that's decidedly less charming, isn't it?
- It's a little less charming.

284
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,897
I'm not sleeping here, Dennis.
It's very creepy.

285
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,333
No, Dee. This is gonna be great.
Trust me.

286
00:10:52,377 --> 00:10:53,552
This is gon-this is gonna be awesome,
okay?

287
00:10:53,596 --> 00:10:54,727
Just...

288
00:10:54,771 --> 00:10:56,250
I don't care for all the sheep, though.

289
00:10:56,294 --> 00:10:57,425
That's-that's my only thing.

290
00:10:57,469 --> 00:10:58,818
All... all what sheep?

291
00:10:58,862 --> 00:11:01,342
- We haven't seen a sheep.
- The sheep, the sheep.

292
00:11:01,386 --> 00:11:02,953
I-I'm sure they've been passing through,
and that's...

293
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,345
Thr... They've been passing
through the... into the castle?

294
00:11:04,389 --> 00:11:06,347
Well, why else would I
be coughing and wheezing?

295
00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:08,001
You have COVID.

296
00:11:08,045 --> 00:11:09,829
To Charlie, my son.

297
00:11:09,873 --> 00:11:12,615
To the dad I didn't know I had.

298
00:11:15,095 --> 00:11:16,444
Well, I'm just sorry that

299
00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:18,664
I didn't get a chance
to see you growing up.

300
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:19,839
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

301
00:11:19,883 --> 00:11:21,406
And for what it's worth,

302
00:11:21,449 --> 00:11:23,103
I did love your mother.

303
00:11:23,147 --> 00:11:24,235
So did I.

304
00:11:25,062 --> 00:11:26,150
We all did.

305
00:11:26,193 --> 00:11:27,368
A wonderful woman.

306
00:11:27,412 --> 00:11:28,674
I banged her, too.

307
00:11:28,718 --> 00:11:30,937
All right, well, Mom got around.

308
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,591
Well, yeah.

309
00:11:32,635 --> 00:11:34,593
Hey, this is jammed in there.

310
00:11:34,637 --> 00:11:36,595
What do you call it? What is that?

311
00:11:36,639 --> 00:11:37,901
A lingonberry seed or something?

312
00:11:37,944 --> 00:11:39,642
The important thing is you're here now.

313
00:11:39,685 --> 00:11:41,687
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah. And I don't want to waste any more time.

314
00:11:41,731 --> 00:11:43,384
No, neither do I. I mean, God, I've...

315
00:11:43,428 --> 00:11:45,560
I've always had so
many questions, you know?

316
00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:48,041
About who I am and where I come from.

317
00:11:48,085 --> 00:11:50,217
And my-my...

318
00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:53,220
My-my family heritage, and-and, uh...

319
00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:54,744
You know,
it's good to have some truth about...

320
00:11:54,787 --> 00:11:56,136
Will you stop?! You're just...

321
00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:57,572
You're sucking and slurping away.

322
00:11:57,616 --> 00:11:59,052
I'm trying to have a conversation

323
00:11:59,096 --> 00:12:00,924
- with my father.
- It's jammed in there, Charlie.

324
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:02,621
- I don't care, go to the bathroom...
- I can't get it out.

325
00:12:02,665 --> 00:12:04,318
- I'm gonna need a jackhammer.
- You're using a screw.

326
00:12:04,362 --> 00:12:06,364
You're embarrassing me in
front of my dad here, man.

327
00:12:06,407 --> 00:12:07,887
Sorry about him.

328
00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:10,803
Charlie, I'm just glad that
you're sitting here now.

329
00:12:10,847 --> 00:12:12,283
Yeah.

330
00:12:19,725 --> 00:12:23,729
? My boy has found me,
and now I'm glad ?

331
00:12:27,777 --> 00:12:29,256
Yeah, I get it.

332
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:32,607
? A dad I didn't know I had ?

333
00:12:34,474 --> 00:12:37,651
? The first time round
is a bitter pill ?

334
00:12:38,813 --> 00:12:42,207
? But the second chance
is better still ?

335
00:12:42,232 --> 00:12:45,931
? And then we find
new seeds to sow ?

336
00:12:46,143 --> 00:12:49,356
? To grow our love we didn't know ?

337
00:12:50,765 --> 00:12:53,161
? The Kelly lads, the Kelly boys ?

338
00:12:53,303 --> 00:12:55,566
? We drink and laugh
and make our noise ?

339
00:12:55,591 --> 00:12:58,419
? We'll sync right up
with all our songs ?

340
00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:01,245
? So come ahead and join along ?

341
00:13:01,288 --> 00:13:03,464
? Hooray! Hurrah! ?

342
00:13:03,508 --> 00:13:05,989
? A fiddle-dee-doo, a fiddle-da-da ?

343
00:13:06,032 --> 00:13:08,774
? The Kelly lads, the Kelly boys ?

344
00:13:08,818 --> 00:13:10,863
? They drink and laugh
and make their noise ?

345
00:13:10,907 --> 00:13:15,411
? We sync right up
with all their songs ?

346
00:13:15,522 --> 00:13:18,518
? So come ahead and join along. ?

347
00:13:21,205 --> 00:13:24,460
? And I am Frank,
and I factor in somehow. ?

348
00:13:24,485 --> 00:13:26,574
- Aw, I shouldn't have used a screw.
- Jesus, Frank.

349
00:13:26,618 --> 00:13:29,099
- Aw, I'm gonna...
- Go to the bathroom and clean it up.

350
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,591
- Go, go. You're embarrassing me.
- Where's the bathroom?

351
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:38,040
Walking this path is
a serious commitment.

352
00:13:38,412 --> 00:13:41,241
One that requires considerable training.

353
00:13:41,285 --> 00:13:44,636
Oh, Father, look,
I-I've been S'ing and F'ing

354
00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:46,638
my way through life for far too long.

355
00:13:46,681 --> 00:13:48,901
I think it's time that
I started sucking down

356
00:13:48,945 --> 00:13:50,250
the words of the Bible.

357
00:13:50,294 --> 00:13:52,296
And instead of looking
for pieces of ass,

358
00:13:52,339 --> 00:13:53,688
I'd just look for peace.

359
00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:55,908
Well, your language
leaves a bit to be desired,

360
00:13:55,952 --> 00:13:58,661
but your heart's in the right place.

361
00:13:58,986 --> 00:14:00,661
I think.

362
00:14:00,694 --> 00:14:04,981
So, to truly understand
what this life is like,

363
00:14:05,006 --> 00:14:08,678
you need to spend some time
with someone who's living it.

364
00:14:08,703 --> 00:14:12,359
Brother Thomas,
I'd like you to meet someone.

365
00:14:44,977 --> 00:14:47,244
- ? I've forgotten. ?
- Not him. Give me somebody else.

366
00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:51,616
- I'm sorry?
- Father...

367
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:54,190
I-I'm gonna be alone in the seminary

368
00:14:54,215 --> 00:14:55,581
with him, in the rectory?

369
00:14:55,707 --> 00:14:57,709
I mean, these are very triggering words.

370
00:14:57,752 --> 00:14:59,798
I will S and F him into oblivion.

371
00:14:59,842 --> 00:15:02,392
I mean, he looks like Paul Bunyan.

372
00:15:02,417 --> 00:15:05,238
I need more of, like, a... Elmer Fudd.
You got any Fudds?

373
00:15:05,578 --> 00:15:07,119
Let me take a look.

374
00:15:07,182 --> 00:15:09,165
Oh, yeah. What about this guy?
What's his story?

375
00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:10,501
Gus?

376
00:15:10,526 --> 00:15:13,290
Gus?
Yeah, I ain't falling in love with Gus.

377
00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:14,761
Gimme him.

378
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:16,861
Sure.

379
00:15:23,909 --> 00:15:26,708
See, Dee? The bedroom's perfect.

380
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:32,198
Dude, I think you need a ventilator.

381
00:15:32,712 --> 00:15:34,757
I just need a good night's sleep.

382
00:15:36,356 --> 00:15:37,662
Just go to bed.

383
00:15:44,545 --> 00:15:46,634
I agree with you, I just...

384
00:15:46,976 --> 00:15:48,629
Well, I don't know what to do with her.

385
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,471
- What?
- What?

386
00:15:55,985 --> 00:15:57,565
Who you talking to?

387
00:15:58,509 --> 00:16:00,946
Nobody. You're hearing things Dee.

388
00:16:02,679 --> 00:16:05,595
I think what I'm hearing is
fluid fill up your lungs.

389
00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:08,604
Dee, just go to bed.

390
00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:10,862
Okay.

391
00:16:18,451 --> 00:16:20,801
It has to be tonight?

392
00:16:21,010 --> 00:16:22,707
Okay, Dennis, I don't like that.

393
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,004
I don't like it.

394
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:28,207
I'm not even talking to you.
I'm talking to the castle.

395
00:16:29,592 --> 00:16:31,371
You're talking to the castle?

396
00:16:33,465 --> 00:16:35,198
I-Is it talking back?

397
00:16:35,241 --> 00:16:37,548
Dee, just go to bed!

398
00:16:46,165 --> 00:16:48,785
It's the hair, by the way.

399
00:16:49,059 --> 00:16:51,319
Okay, n...

400
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,999
right now,
are you talking to me or the castle?

401
00:16:54,043 --> 00:16:55,473
You.

402
00:16:55,855 --> 00:16:58,771
We were talking about
beheadings earlier.

403
00:16:59,222 --> 00:17:03,574
- It's the hair.
- What's the hair?

404
00:17:03,617 --> 00:17:06,359
Well, that's the trouble
with heads, isn't it?

405
00:17:07,091 --> 00:17:08,971
The hair's not authentic.

406
00:17:09,014 --> 00:17:11,321
It's... it's been tampered with.

407
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,715
That's why there's no smell.
It's a... it's a lie.

408
00:17:16,152 --> 00:17:18,415
The hair is on the head.

409
00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:21,244
The hair is a lie, and therefore,

410
00:17:21,287 --> 00:17:24,725
it's better to just remove
the head altogether.

411
00:17:24,769 --> 00:17:26,989
Okay. Okay, Dennis,
you're very, very sick,

412
00:17:27,032 --> 00:17:29,165
- and you need to go to the hospital.
- Silence!

413
00:17:34,605 --> 00:17:37,042
Dee, I can't breathe.
I need to go to the hospital.

414
00:17:37,086 --> 00:17:38,426
Yeah, no shit!

415
00:17:38,451 --> 00:17:40,741
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna call us an ambulance

416
00:17:40,785 --> 00:17:41,916
- and get us out of here.
- Yeah.

417
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,543
No, no, my phone's dead.

418
00:17:43,568 --> 00:17:45,700
Oh, there's no electricity
in this goddamn place.

419
00:17:45,725 --> 00:17:47,161
Then go get the car and drive me.

420
00:17:47,186 --> 00:17:48,491
The car's out of gas.

421
00:17:48,516 --> 00:17:49,822
Then ring the bell!

422
00:17:49,847 --> 00:17:53,111
- What bell?
- Go to the old bell tower

423
00:17:53,136 --> 00:17:56,095
and ring the goddamn bell, you bitch!

424
00:17:56,590 --> 00:17:58,200
Oh, God, um...

425
00:17:59,926 --> 00:18:03,645
Goddamn it.
Where's the stupid bell tower?

426
00:18:04,591 --> 00:18:05,940
No. No, no, no, no.

427
00:18:05,984 --> 00:18:07,638
Oh, Jesus Christ.

428
00:18:07,681 --> 00:18:09,466
Oh!

429
00:18:09,509 --> 00:18:11,076
Oh... Oh!

430
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:14,601
Oh, oh, oh...

431
00:18:15,184 --> 00:18:17,621
Aah! Get off me! Get off me!

432
00:18:17,646 --> 00:18:19,691
Okay...

433
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,778
Hello?

434
00:18:25,612 --> 00:18:26,613
Who is that?

435
00:18:29,503 --> 00:18:33,168
Your head is a lie.

436
00:18:33,664 --> 00:18:36,536
Dennis? What are you doing?

437
00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:39,567
You've tampered with it, and...

438
00:18:39,711 --> 00:18:41,821
we won't stand for it any longer.

439
00:18:41,846 --> 00:18:45,955
Oh, D... Dennis,
this is just the COVID talking, okay?

440
00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:47,242
You're hallucinating.

441
00:18:48,766 --> 00:18:50,811
I don't have COVID.

442
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:01,336
No, Dennis, please.

443
00:19:01,633 --> 00:19:03,868
Please, Dennis, it's me. Snap out of it.

444
00:19:11,821 --> 00:19:13,561
So, that's the house.

445
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,718
- Wow.
- Oh, this place

446
00:19:14,761 --> 00:19:16,937
- is charming as shit.
- Yeah.

447
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,896
- Dennis would be creaming in his pants if he saw this.
- Yeah.

448
00:19:18,939 --> 00:19:20,724
Right, well, uh, language, Frank,

449
00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:22,726
- you know, 'cause we're guests, so, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.

450
00:19:22,769 --> 00:19:24,379
It's a lovely home.

451
00:19:24,423 --> 00:19:27,295
Uh, are you sure okay
with us staying the night?

452
00:19:27,339 --> 00:19:29,297
Oh, I insist. Yeah.

453
00:19:29,341 --> 00:19:30,951
I have a spare room is down the hall,

454
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,692
and, uh, I set up a cot for you there.

455
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,718
Oh, well, we'll take the cot.

456
00:19:35,042 --> 00:19:37,523
Y... You'll both sleep on the cot?

457
00:19:37,566 --> 00:19:42,136
Uh, I think I'd rather take
the bedroom, Frank.

458
00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:44,668
Won't you get lonely in there?
What if it gets cold?

459
00:19:44,704 --> 00:19:45,836
Oh, there are plenty of blankets.

460
00:19:45,879 --> 00:19:47,141
What if I poop the bed?

461
00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:49,013
Who's gonna be in
there to laugh with me?

462
00:19:49,056 --> 00:19:51,363
- What? You might shit the bed?
- No, no, no.

463
00:19:51,406 --> 00:19:52,886
If that's the case, I have other sheets.

464
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,801
- No, no, no, he won't.
- One time.

465
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:57,108
- It was fun...
- There was a one-time incident,

466
00:19:57,151 --> 00:19:58,500
- It was a fun thing.
- And it was a joke,

467
00:19:58,544 --> 00:19:59,806
and it really wasn't that funny, so...

468
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,982
- It wasn't?
- Uh, no.

469
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:04,550
- I thought you thought it was funny.
- Nope.

470
00:20:04,593 --> 00:20:06,508
Well, uh, I'm heading off.

471
00:20:06,552 --> 00:20:07,988
Yeah. Sounds good.

472
00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:10,382
- Good night.
- Yeah, yeah.

473
00:20:10,962 --> 00:20:13,559
Hey, um, good night...

474
00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:16,388
...Dad.

475
00:20:18,098 --> 00:20:19,684
Oh. Good night, son.

476
00:20:27,796 --> 00:20:30,184
- Oh, seed! I got you.
- Yeah?

477
00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:32,186
I found you, seed. Look at it.

478
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,841
- I coughed it out.
- Yeah. Gross. Yeah.

479
00:20:34,885 --> 00:20:37,975
Oh. I thought you'd be happy for me.

480
00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:41,195
Uh, sure, I guess. Sure.

481
00:20:41,239 --> 00:20:44,372
Oh. I should eat it again.

482
00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:47,332
Then it would be funny
'cause I didn't learn my lesson.

483
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:48,637
No, that wouldn't be funny.

484
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:50,365
It'd just be kind of dumb, you know.

485
00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:52,685
Oh.

486
00:20:52,728 --> 00:20:55,514
Um...

487
00:20:55,557 --> 00:20:57,559
I think-I think I'm gonna go to bed.

488
00:20:57,603 --> 00:20:59,170
- All right.
- Yeah.

489
00:20:59,213 --> 00:21:00,998
- Uh...
- So you're gonna stay in the room?

490
00:21:01,041 --> 00:21:02,738
- Yeah, I'm gonna go to bed in here and...
- I-I'll stay...

491
00:21:02,782 --> 00:21:04,922
I'll stay on the...
I'll stay on the... All right.

492
00:21:04,947 --> 00:21:07,255
Good night, Frank.

493
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:08,542
Good night, Charlie.

494
00:21:22,758 --> 00:21:24,238
Good night, Charlie.

495
00:21:25,802 --> 00:21:32,699
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