1 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,471 Need... water... 2 00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:15,140 Oh... 3 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,475 You think they can spare some? 4 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,644 Oh, stop it! 5 00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:22,773 Ah! You're getting me wet and drenched! 6 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,321 Oh! Your Majesties, I think we're here. 7 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,658 Tulip, brace yourself. 8 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:37,663 We're about to embark on a harrowing adventure. 9 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,585 A tacky destination wedding. 10 00:00:47,563 --> 00:00:51,328 CREDITS 11 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,889 Remember, we need to impress King Rami with our newfound wealth. 12 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,475 I made a mess of things after that, uh, golf weekend, 13 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,477 and we need him back as our kingdom's ally. 14 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:02,478 Hear that, Blossom? 15 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,981 Everyone must be on their best behavior. 16 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:08,277 Hear that, Human Shield? Don't be fucking disgusting. 17 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,828 I can't believe Holden's 18 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:21,163 gonna marry a prince. Should we say hi? 19 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,624 - We're supposed to be working. - Yeah, you're right. 20 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,084 We'll just say hi from here. 21 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,045 Holden! Holden! Congrats, buddy! 22 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,340 Squires for life! I hope you wreck that dude tonight! 23 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:35,136 Or that he wrecks you! I'm unclear on your relationship's sexual dynamics! 24 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,680 Maybe go for the flippy flop! See what feels right! 25 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,183 Okay? Mazel! 26 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,607 Well, it looks like they have a fun chemistry. 27 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,775 Merriman! Glad you could make it! 28 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:53,112 Now, hold on, Rami. Before you bring up Chill Society... 29 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,282 Wait, y-you said you're glad I could make it? 30 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,408 Of course! 31 00:01:57,409 --> 00:02:00,203 Sorry you just got your invitation this week. 32 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:03,164 The guest list was quite full, until we heard about 33 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,666 your kingdom's reversal of fortune. 34 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,168 Rich now, I hear? 35 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,544 Oh, I don't know. 36 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:09,880 Am I? 37 00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:15,885 I like you with money. 38 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,763 Kill all those waiters. 39 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,851 Anyway, I'll see you at the rehearsal dinner, 40 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,521 which reminds me. As a visiting head of state, 41 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,648 I'd be honored if you gave a speech. 42 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,734 How much time do I get? 30 minutes? 10 minutes? Tight five? 43 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:35,112 - What's the topic? - Uh, the marriage between my son 44 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,990 and your squire Holden. 45 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,244 Oh! You're a real gas! See you at the party, 46 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,121 Moneybags. 47 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,083 Rami just gave me a nickname! 48 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,919 - We're becoming BFFs already! - That's great, Sire. 49 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,255 Oh, and now I have to give a speech at the dinner. 50 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,632 Grab some cue cards and bring me my dream journal. 51 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:55,967 - Yes, sir. - This is great! 52 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:58,511 And once Rami sees the wedding gift we brought, 53 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,347 it could seal the alliance between our two empires. 54 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,266 With his blood lust and our money, 55 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,142 we could own the world! 56 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,561 Well, that's terrifying. 57 00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:09,188 I need you to be my right-hand man this weekend. 58 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,359 Your only job is to make sure this wedding goes off without a hitch. 59 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:16,279 And if you fail, I'm demoting you to squire. 60 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,407 Your Majesty, I am a squire. 61 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,951 Patrick, don't joke about that. 62 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,120 Someone might think you're a squire! 63 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:27,332 Oh! Also, who the fuck is Holden? 64 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,711 See you, Mom. I'm gonna go bet on some strippers. 65 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,588 You can't leave. You must stay 66 00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:35,882 and represent our kingdom with class. 67 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,551 Like you're doing, Wine-Lips? 68 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,095 Getting open-bar hammered is expected of a queen. 69 00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:44,056 This is my cross to bear! 70 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,100 Besides, don't you want to meet the prince 71 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,144 that your father and I arranged for you to marry? 72 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,730 What?! But I'm dating Keefer! 73 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,898 Oh, yes. 74 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,859 Your imaginary ghost-slash-musician boyfriend. 75 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,903 So much potential there. 76 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,488 You should be happy I'm dating him! 77 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,199 We're practicing abstinence! 78 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,493 We don't want to, but he's a bodiless poltergeist. 79 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,205 Sorry, darling. It's already been arranged. 80 00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,498 - Hence the name. - Ugh! 81 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,292 Move it, you fucking tourist! 82 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,794 Whoa! 83 00:04:14,816 --> 00:04:17,339 _ 84 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:21,094 Ah, my yearly poker shakedown. 85 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,182 "Wanted for card counting, eye stabbing, 86 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,309 and general female trickery!" 87 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,186 Eh. When they're right, they're right. 88 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,689 Lucky for me, I always carry a disguise. 89 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,859 Ha, ha! 90 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,321 Hey, that's the Pirate Queen! 91 00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:41,989 What the fuck's wrong with her eye? 92 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,075 - Disgusting! - Get her outta here! 93 00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:46,077 Don't show your face here again. 94 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:48,080 And fix that eye, for Christ's sake. 95 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,879 We shall now begin the toast 96 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,215 for the wedding between my wonderful son, 97 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,300 Prince Rami V, 98 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,886 and his betrothed, Squire Holden... 99 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,597 some-common-last-name- I-can't-fucking-remember. 100 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,766 Ha! I'm actually the son of a duke. 101 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,394 Perfect! That takes the sting out of having your son 102 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,856 marry a gay squire. First up, King Merriman! 103 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:17,733 I'm so nervous. I haven't done this in a while. 104 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,652 Is the word "taint" still funny? 105 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,446 - What? - Of course it is. 106 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,489 Thank you, Rami. 107 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,117 When I found out we were coming to your sandbox, 108 00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:28,077 I was worried about taint-chafing. 109 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:31,623 But so far, so taint. 110 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:33,709 Achoo! 111 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:37,253 Thank you! 112 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,463 Now, on to the happy couple. 113 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:42,300 Webster's Dictionary defines sodomy... 114 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,177 Oh! Jesus. 115 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:46,012 This speech is a trash fire. 116 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,722 I gotta do something. 117 00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,390 Oops. Cue cards are down. 118 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:52,518 No problem. I'll improvise with some crowd work. 119 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,770 You there, the hot little piece of ass in the second row, 120 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,439 what's your name, sweetheart? 121 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,357 Princess Blossom. 122 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,444 Oh. Uh, the cue cards are back. 123 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:04,864 Finding that person to spend the rest of your life with 124 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,949 is always worth celebrating. 125 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,659 I wish that your union 126 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:12,206 brings you the same happiness I have found in mine. 127 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,544 Wow. I really slayed up there. 128 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,046 Even though you cut my titty joke. 129 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,632 You know how hard it is to work a titty joke into a gay wedding? 130 00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,509 Merriman, thank you for that... 131 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:27,136 heartfelt speech. Let's talk about the alliance 132 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,306 between our kingdoms after the wedding tomorrow. 133 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:33,100 We have to keep impressing Rami! 134 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,685 Go to the hotel 135 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,731 and make sure our wedding gift is ready for tomorrow! 136 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,733 Dad, come on. I don't want to marry 137 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,903 - some swampland duke's kid. - Stop complaining! 138 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:47,657 You just need to play the part until tomorrow. 139 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:48,951 Looking for something? 140 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,995 Patrick, stop pestering my in-laws. 141 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,914 Prince Rami sounded upset. 142 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,582 Is everything okay between you two? 143 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,376 Of course. We're great. Perfect. 144 00:06:58,377 --> 00:07:00,545 Well, King Rami said something about 145 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:03,256 "playing the part until tomorrow." 146 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,340 It sounded serious. 147 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,133 You're just jealous I'm marrying a prince, 148 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,593 and you're still a squire. 149 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,720 Excuse me, I need to go yell at a caterer. 150 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,056 He didn't do anything wrong. It's preventative. 151 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:14,726 Jonathan! You call that foie gras?! 152 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,776 Good god, Tulip. You're smashed. 153 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,654 I am? Hooray! 154 00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,698 Garçon! This queen requires 155 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,908 more mac and cheese balls, please. 156 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,578 Your eighth cheese ball, m'lady. 157 00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:36,623 And I'll eat eight more... 158 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,085 King Kevin? Is that you? 159 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,671 How the hell did you go from king to cater waiter? 160 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,215 Oh, it's just plain old Kevin now. 161 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,134 Rami conquered my kingdom. 162 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,970 It was this or the guillotine. But, you know, it's not so bad. 163 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,182 Unless you're, you know, serving belligerent royals. 164 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,474 Tulip, 165 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,060 if we hadn't struck it rich, that could've been us. 166 00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,188 How embarrassing for King Kevin. 167 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,024 Oh! 168 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,319 "Wanted. Kill at your earliest convenience"? 169 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,196 Wow. I'm impressed, Ruben. 170 00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,489 They hate you in more places than I thought. 171 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,742 - Ah! - Oh! Are you trying 172 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,285 to give me a heart attack? 173 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:16,954 Why are you in the king's hotel room? And what the hell is that? 174 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:20,082 This is the king's wedding gift. The ancient sarcophagus 175 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:23,127 Merriman's grandfather stole from this kingdom 176 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,795 during the Great War. 177 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:28,049 Merriman is returning it and wanted me to... glam it up. 178 00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:31,010 Ooh... Ah... 179 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,887 Oh my god... 180 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:36,224 Right? I'll come back later to pour on just a few more 181 00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:37,642 dozen rhinestones. 182 00:08:37,643 --> 00:08:40,603 They may have vandalized you, but I'll look after you 183 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,688 and make sure that this wedding goes smoothly. 184 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,315 Somebody order 185 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:46,275 a Ruben sandwich? 186 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,695 Hello, Patrick! Fun joke with the Ruben sandwich, right? 187 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,572 Did you get it? 188 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,575 Anyway, I'm here to ruin the wedding. 189 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,503 You can't be here. They're handing out wanted posters with your face on them. 190 00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:08,422 Ugh! I know, and I'm sorry you had to look at that bullshit. 191 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,466 They do no justice to my cheekbones. 192 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,634 Higher! Sharper! 193 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,469 What did you do? 194 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,805 Well, let's just say I may have sent 195 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:19,101 sexually explicit letters to the prince's fiancé. 196 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:20,977 Which is what I definitely did. 197 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:22,895 To Holden? Why? 198 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,147 It all started last year. 199 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,024 We met in the minotaur's labyrinth, 200 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,528 and shared a beautiful romantic moment. 201 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:33,531 Ah! Fuck! Ah! 202 00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:36,158 Use the peach! Use it. Use the peach. 203 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,160 Oh fuck! Ah! Ah! Ah! 204 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,664 Oh, fuck, that feels good! 205 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,499 Goddamn, what a painful, beautiful memory. 206 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,419 That was... too much information. 207 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:49,463 I haven't been able to get Holden out of my head ever since. 208 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,549 So, I'm here to stop the wedding. 209 00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,926 What, just because of some casual sex? 210 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,970 Wait. Do you love him? 211 00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,389 What? Who? That asshole? 212 00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,558 Ew, gross. No! Fuck him! 213 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,059 You know what? Don't fuck him. 214 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,438 Nobody should fuck him 'cause I fuckin' hate him! 215 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:10,526 Fine. I love him. Oh, boy! What is wrong with me? 216 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,446 There is nothing wrong with you. I know how you feel. 217 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:16,325 Sometimes, I still think about Danielle and wonder... 218 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,078 is she out there, thinking about me? 219 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,877 Oh, Patrick... 220 00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:30,630 I am going to kill you. 221 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:32,757 I love you, too, Danielle. 222 00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,509 Why is this door locked?! 223 00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:37,179 Blossom?! Uh, be right there! 224 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,349 Patrick! Did you know my parents already arranged my marriage 225 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:44,435 to some butt-pimple prince? I mean, like, what about Keefer? 226 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:47,563 Oh, Blossom, every teenage girl has her ghost phase. 227 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,983 He's the love of my life! 228 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,236 - God! - I know 229 00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:56,697 being separated from your loved one is hard. 230 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,950 I myself look out at the moon... 231 00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:00,910 Yeah, moon-shmoon, rainbows and sharts. 232 00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:03,287 I just came in to grab some bills to hit up the strip club. 233 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:06,458 Thanks for nothing, Patrick. 234 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,336 I couldn't breathe in there! 235 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,839 And the mummy has a death boner! 236 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,175 Where'd you get that scarab necklace? 237 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,135 - What's a scarab? - It's like a beetle. 238 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,347 Then just say beetle. Pretentious. 239 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,391 This? I've always had this. 240 00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:26,102 It's my signature scarab necklace! 241 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:28,604 But we're focusing on the wrong thing. How do we stop this wedding?! 242 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:32,108 Look, I was ordered to make sure the wedding goes smoothly, 243 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,026 and I cannot fail. 244 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,862 Promise me you'll stay out of sight. 245 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,239 Baby, I'm always out of sight. 246 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,741 Ruben away! 247 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,706 Bravo! Bravo! 248 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,796 Eat my fart! Ah! 249 00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:01,555 - Ah! - Ha, ha, ha! 250 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,307 - Ah! - Ah! 251 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,101 Ha, ha! Fuck! 252 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:12,231 Woo-hoo! 253 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,400 - Ruben! - Hey! Come on! 254 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,068 - Ah, fuck... - Patrick, 255 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,653 you're not supposed to touch them. 256 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,947 Who was that? 257 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,783 Ah, just some desperate loser trying to pass as a stripper. 258 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,827 Oh. Well, he looked like, 259 00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,913 um, someone I knew. 260 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,749 Oh well. Back to my fiancé. 261 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,171 Or maybe, I'll just go back to bed. 262 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:39,634 Okay, Blarney, 263 00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:41,928 I taught you everything I know about cheating. 264 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,764 Now, just go in there and win us that jackpot. 265 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:48,476 - It's foolproof. - Oh, I love when something is described 266 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:51,187 as foolproof, and then it's handed to me. 267 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,482 For the entrance fee. Now, go. 268 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:57,944 Coral! Oh, you're still here! 269 00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:01,281 Oh wow. I th... I think I... I think I lost. 270 00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:05,910 Oh, my dogs! My dogs! 271 00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:08,247 Back to the drawing board. 272 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,295 Patrick, in the spirit of this gay wedding... 273 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:20,007 - you look a hot mess, girl. - I didn't get any sleep last night. 274 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:23,302 My brother is trying to ruin the wedding. We have to keep a lookout. 275 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,471 Say no more. I'll keep watch outside, 276 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,975 and we'll make sure he doesn't get into this pyramid. 277 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,478 Hey! Sup, Ruben? 278 00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,981 Well, Liam, after this wedding, 279 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:38,067 you'll retire with a perfect 30-year record. 280 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,820 And then, you'll drink this bottle of port that you were gifted 281 00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,614 when you officiated your very first wedding! 282 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,492 And now, to warm up the old vocal cords. 283 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:49,412 A big black bug bit a big black... 284 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,414 Oh! 285 00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:55,209 You again? 286 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:57,837 Stay out of my way, you human bumper car! 287 00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,088 - God! - Blossom, 288 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,549 this is Prince Anthony Junior, 289 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,384 your future husband. 290 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,303 You're the butt-pimple prince? 291 00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:08,806 I'm AJ, the Mattress King's son. I'm mostly in sofa beds. 292 00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,892 You can call me the Pull-Out Prince. 293 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,685 Okay. 294 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,146 Well, you're funny. I'll give you that. 295 00:14:15,147 --> 00:14:17,899 King Rami insists that your family 296 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,527 sit up front during the ceremony. 297 00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:27,450 Rami, this is the richest relationship 298 00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:28,951 I've ever been in. 299 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,661 No, no. Um... 300 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,914 You make me feel secure... 301 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,541 financially. Terrible! 302 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,585 I wish you wouldn't have sex with other dudes, 303 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:40,797 but I do like it when you buy me pretty gifts to make up for it. 304 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,634 Oh, I'm a whore. 305 00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:46,928 Holden, time's running out 306 00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,805 on the rest of your life. 307 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,600 Ah! Are you here to kill me? 308 00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:54,060 Damn it. That was supposed to be romantic. 309 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,395 Ruben? What are you doing here? 310 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,523 We belong together. 311 00:14:58,524 --> 00:15:00,233 When I'm fucking you, 312 00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:02,860 it's like I'm fucking myself. 313 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,029 It's literally all I've ever wanted. 314 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,907 Don't you think I know that? We're the same! 315 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,368 That's why you should understand I'm marrying Rami! 316 00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:12,119 I'll be a rich prince, 317 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,457 and I know deep down you'd do the same! I'm sorry! 318 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,585 We'll always have that time 319 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,712 we boned each other's brains out. 320 00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:24,257 No... What... 321 00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:27,093 Oh god! 322 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,554 Why?! 323 00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:37,562 Who needs special wine when you've got 324 00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:40,273 a perfect record on the line, right? 325 00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:42,234 Please take your seats, and we'll get started. 326 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:45,863 - Care for a program? - What is that guy wearing? 327 00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:48,739 - What the... - Care for a program? 328 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,616 Aren't you King Kevin? 329 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:53,703 Shh! It's just plain old Kevin now. 330 00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:56,581 I was king. Now, I experience the living hell 331 00:15:56,582 --> 00:15:59,333 - known as the service industry. - How did this happen? 332 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,878 Rami invited me to his grandson's bris. 333 00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:05,214 Next thing I know, I'm locked up and my kingdom's invaded. 334 00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:08,467 Didn't you read the fine print on your save the date? 335 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,929 - "Invitation to come." - Look closer. 336 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:15,142 "Invasion to come"? 337 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:24,151 It's a coup! 338 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,737 Oh, right. 339 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:37,289 Patrick, sit down. You will not upstage me. 340 00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:43,629 I have to save the Royal Family. 341 00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:53,846 Gentlemen, I'm afraid you'll find that there's no room at the inn 342 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,515 because this house 343 00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:57,226 is full! 344 00:16:57,935 --> 00:17:00,811 Sir, that is only four cards. 345 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:02,355 Oh shit. Where'd I put that other card? 346 00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:03,190 Achoo! 347 00:17:03,191 --> 00:17:05,316 Oops, sorry! I've had a cold lately. 348 00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:06,318 Achoo! 349 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,447 I'd like to call a do-over. Damn it, Blarney! 350 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,700 Security! Arrest this clown... 351 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,036 - First touch I've had all year! - and that slot machine. 352 00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,871 Too late, boys. 353 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,081 See you all in hell! 354 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:22,501 Ah! Oh... 355 00:17:24,962 --> 00:17:27,422 Oh, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? 356 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,092 Stop the wedding! 357 00:17:33,971 --> 00:17:36,556 I have... 358 00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:39,016 so many feelings! 359 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:41,143 Yet I... do not... 360 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,438 know what to do! 361 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,441 Interesting. 362 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,485 It seems we have captured the man 363 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,363 who's been sending you pornographic love letters. 364 00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:54,448 As an early wedding present to the grooms, 365 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:57,952 I sentence this man to immediate execution! 366 00:17:57,953 --> 00:17:59,705 What?! 367 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:07,420 Holden! Remember the peaches! 368 00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:09,214 Peaches... peaches... peaches... 369 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,216 Rami, I do care for you... 370 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,802 r money. But, I'm in love with someone else. 371 00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:17,722 Alright! Everyone calm down! 372 00:18:17,723 --> 00:18:20,474 I was going to wait until the end of the ceremony, 373 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:23,019 but since the groom is getting cold feet... 374 00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:25,438 Guards! Capture our new servants! 375 00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:27,356 Ooh! New servants. Thank god. 376 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:30,401 - King Kevin is terrible. - He put a pineapple in my martini. 377 00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:32,988 The new servants are us, you idiots! 378 00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:35,865 You were a fool to come here, Merriman. 379 00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,868 My kingdom would never join forces with yours! 380 00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:41,078 And I would never... 381 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,081 be friends... with you. 382 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,750 But... you gave me a nickname! 383 00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:47,919 You said you loved my speech! 384 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,296 All lies. Your speech was terrible. 385 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,089 You hit on your own daughter! 386 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:55,009 Patrick wrote most of it! I wanted to do a titty joke! 387 00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:56,844 Here, I'll just tell you it now. 388 00:18:56,845 --> 00:19:00,348 A woman walks onto a tomato farm and falls tits-first into some red paint... 389 00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:02,308 So, this whole wedding was a sham? 390 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:04,727 You really thought a prince with this ass 391 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,104 would marry a squire with your ass? 392 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:08,940 You were nothing but a pawn! 393 00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:11,067 A pawn with an ass so flat, 394 00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:13,194 I called you Stupid-Flat-Pancake-Ass-Pawn 395 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:15,655 in all of our secret overthrow meetings. 396 00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:18,157 Jesus, so much ass-based criticism! 397 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,992 Take the Royal Family to be fitted 398 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,286 with their new servant shackles! 399 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:25,122 Wait! Before we do anything rash, 400 00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:28,752 let's... not forget... about... uh... 401 00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:31,255 Merriman's wedding gift! 402 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,174 It was supposed to reunite our kingdoms. 403 00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:38,344 Your kingdom steals my great grandfather's remains, 404 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:41,806 defaces his coffin, and then tries to give it back to us 405 00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:42,890 as a gift?! 406 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:45,351 Okay, culturally sensitive it is not, 407 00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,396 but I bet the inside's better! 408 00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:51,148 Nope. Much worse. 409 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,276 You have committed the ultimate insult! 410 00:19:53,277 --> 00:19:55,486 You shall be executed! 411 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,238 Uh... W-wait! 412 00:19:57,239 --> 00:20:00,199 These beautiful symbols haven't been spray-painted over. 413 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,452 Let us never forget the famous words... Uh... 414 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,788 "Eyeballs winking, dog on a hamburger bun, 415 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,582 eyeballs winking, sideways vagina..." 416 00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,542 No! Stop it! 417 00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:10,960 I know my accent is terrible. 418 00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:13,546 "Hockey stick, butter knives, frog with a broom 419 00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:16,133 sassy turtle, and guy doing the Running Man." 420 00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:21,304 Merriman! Your idiot squire 421 00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:23,347 read the Sacred Text of the Undead! 422 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,475 Ah! Ah! 423 00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:30,355 Why must I be so irresistible?! 424 00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:33,984 This wedding is a shit show. At least it's only one mummy. 425 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:45,412 Well, we should probably get the fuck outta here. 426 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,456 Hey! Put me down, 427 00:20:48,457 --> 00:20:50,625 you necrophiliac's wet dream! 428 00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:52,585 - Hey, son of a bitch! - Come on! 429 00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:56,005 Wait! I always pull out! 430 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:58,550 You are a lot of fun. 431 00:21:01,053 --> 00:21:03,888 - Ha, ha! - Rami, why did you do all this? 432 00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:06,891 To get your kingdom's money! You don't deserve it. 433 00:21:06,892 --> 00:21:08,643 You ruined Chill Society, 434 00:21:08,644 --> 00:21:11,729 and you're a terrible king! Pretending to be your friend 435 00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:14,900 was the most disgusting thing I've ever had to do! 436 00:21:19,196 --> 00:21:20,738 You want my money, Rami? 437 00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:22,990 - Well, here it is! - Ah! 438 00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:26,203 Ah! Trapped by the help! 439 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,541 Ruben! It wants the scarab! 440 00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:32,708 What's a scarab? 441 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:35,295 We are not doing this again! Throw me the necklace! 442 00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:40,759 Now, go! Save your love. 443 00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,516 I'm sorry, Holden. You're just not my type. 444 00:21:48,517 --> 00:21:51,477 I like twunks. It's a cross between a twink and a hunk. 445 00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:52,603 They're young and fit! 446 00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,605 I am young and fit! 447 00:21:54,606 --> 00:21:56,775 Ah... Gah! Ha, ha! 448 00:21:57,860 --> 00:21:59,360 Ruben away! 449 00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,404 Ah! 450 00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:04,407 You're not getting out of here alive, boy. 451 00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:07,452 Uh, um... Hyah! 452 00:22:09,288 --> 00:22:12,457 At least somebody's getting head at this wedding! 453 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,296 Oh god, I am completely numb to violence. 454 00:22:21,133 --> 00:22:23,802 - No sign of Ruben yet, Patrick. - Get the camels ready! 455 00:22:28,807 --> 00:22:31,935 Never mind! Just fucking run! 456 00:22:35,564 --> 00:22:39,358 Well, we finally caught Coral, the cheating Pirate Queen. 457 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:43,029 I am really gonna enjoy carving your other eye out. 458 00:22:43,030 --> 00:22:46,199 Hey, Coral, what do you think is the most unlikely way 459 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,952 we could get out of this predicament? 460 00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:55,917 Huh. I would've guessed aliens. 461 00:22:55,918 --> 00:22:57,920 Come on, Blarney, let's go! 462 00:22:59,338 --> 00:23:02,798 Merriman! You'll pay for this! 463 00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:04,800 When you least expect it, 464 00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:06,928 I will destroy you! 465 00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:09,598 And your kingdom will be mine! 466 00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:27,990 Well, that was about as much of a clusterfuck 467 00:23:27,991 --> 00:23:30,243 as most destination weddings turn out to be. 468 00:23:30,244 --> 00:23:32,328 Did you see those centerpieces? 469 00:23:32,329 --> 00:23:35,414 Oh! Talk about tacky. 470 00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:37,251 I think we're gonna be invaded soon. 471 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:43,047 Goodbye, Blossom. I look forward to getting to know you better. 472 00:23:43,048 --> 00:23:45,676 - Mwah! - Oh... 473 00:23:46,426 --> 00:23:48,803 You must be excited to get back to Keefer. 474 00:23:48,804 --> 00:23:51,932 - Blossom? - Back to who now? 475 00:23:55,686 --> 00:23:57,937 Ah, come on, guys! 476 00:23:57,938 --> 00:24:01,148 We have 18 hours ahead of us on this camel! 477 00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:03,609 Let's all try to be cool? 478 00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:06,028 Let him watch. 479 00:24:10,576 --> 00:24:15,629 CREDITS