1
00:00:28,421 --> 00:00:36,156
CREDITS

2
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,167
Happy face to Patrick

3
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:46,337
for saving the Royal Family
from assassination.

4
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:47,797
Uh, thank you?

5
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,216
Frowny face to Donna

6
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,717
for missing the moat.

7
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:55,097
Happy face to King Merriman!
I'm still king!

8
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,223
That's better.

9
00:00:57,224 --> 00:01:00,476
Merriman, the castle is ruined,
and we are broke!

10
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,978
But, Tulip, we're alive!

11
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,105
I'd rather be dead than poor.

12
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,106
Well, me too,

13
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:07,441
but that's one of those things you're
not supposed to say out loud

14
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,528
because it makes you
sound like a real asshole.

15
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,700
Maybe it's not the time to bring up
how well King Randy is doing,

16
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:18,661
but look how well King Randy is doing!

17
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:21,581
This isn't a dick-measuring
contest, Randy!

18
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,792
Good thing. Rumor has it, he's hung
like a lesbian at a witch trial,

19
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,335
who's also a horse.

20
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,629
Wow. Yeah, that's pretty hung.

21
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,089
Happy face for Randy.

22
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,133
Patrick, you're a hero!

23
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,218
You better brush those
shoulders off, girl.

24
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,470
Really? You think
I'm about to be knighted?

25
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,724
Maybe! Maybe not. But there's
definitely a baby scorpion on you.

26
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,227
Ah! Get it off! Get it off!

27
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,398
The knights are returning!

28
00:01:53,525 --> 00:01:56,017
_

29
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,624
Whoa. These guys fuck for sure.

30
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,251
Oh! If I weren't straight...

31
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,296
Or if they even... even asked...

32
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,138
Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!

33
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,891
Marry me, Patrick, I love you!

34
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,185
- I wanna have your baby!
- Patrick, sign my tits!

35
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,811
Oh wow...

36
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,481
I've had sex.

37
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:37,448
.- We set off as soon as we heard
the kingdom was in danger,

38
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,492
but it appears we arrived too late.

39
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,036
The castle's pretty
jacked up but luckily,

40
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,705
this squire saved us all
from certain death.

41
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,834
He is truly the greatest
squire who ever lived.

42
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,877
Great! So, the assassin's dead?

43
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,130
- No, she got away.
- But the kingdom's secrets are safe.

44
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,800
- No, she-she got 'em all.
- Stole them, eh?

45
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:58,761
- No, they were freely given.
- By which traitor?!

46
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,346
Actually, by Patrick,

47
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,892
the greatest squire who ever lived...

48
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,442
All rise for the case of the Kingdom

49
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:17,030
versus Patrick, the traitor squire!

50
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,118
I told them I was prejudiced against
squires to try to get out of this,

51
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:25,831
and I'm still here.
Now, I just hate squires for real!

52
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,917
- Oh...
- Patrick,

53
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,670
you're accused of conspiracy
to commit treason.

54
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,256
Now, they say that you
shared the king's secrets

55
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,466
with an assassin you went to bed with!

56
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,552
But, that doesn't add up. Isn't it true

57
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,596
you didn't even close the deal with her?

58
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:44,765
Yes, but I wish you hadn't
said that on the record,

59
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,685
in front of everyone,
including my parents.

60
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:50,771
The boy never finishes anything.

61
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,941
So wait, if he gets executed,
can I have his stuff?

62
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,986
Ha, ha. Then he did it.

63
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,363
Not a fan.

64
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,533
Oh, come on!
He didn't do it, I'm telling ya!

65
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,204
King Merriman's a stand-up guy!

66
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,955
We're discussing your brother Patrick.

67
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,583
- He's the one on trial.
- What, Patrick?

68
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,293
Nah, I barely know that guy.

69
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,836
He is my best friend.

70
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,505
He'd never give away secrets,

71
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,632
or fail to close the deal.

72
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:20,928
He's a model squire,
and I would do anything for him.

73
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:26,016
Including lie on the witness stand!

74
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,811
And now, my kingdom's half destroyed.

75
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,564
We need to find
a scapegoat to pin this on.

76
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:37,401
That'll fix everything
and we can all go home early.

77
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,237
- Well, almost all of us.
- Hear that?

78
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,364
- I'm going home early.
- Oh.

79
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,991
You expect us to believe a young man

80
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:47,119
spent the night in bed
with a beautiful woman,

81
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,206
and didn't even try to go all the way?

82
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:53,876
We mostly just stared into
each other's eyes and talked.

83
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:56,713
In a way, it was more intimate.

84
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,174
Oh god, where's my gavel?

85
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,803
The jury will now be sequestered.

86
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,392
And we got a verdict.

87
00:05:08,412 --> 00:05:09,785
_

88
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,229
- This looks bad.
- Let it play out.

89
00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:13,664
_

90
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,440
Still six more jurors.

91
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:21,153
Damn it! At least the winky face
softened the blow. So sassy.

92
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,197
Okay, here's what I got.
You're found guilty of treason,

93
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:27,076
destruction of property, and not being
able to close the deal, pussy.

94
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:31,039
You are hereby ordered to spin
the Wheel of Retribution.

95
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,626
? Now, gather 'round, guys and gals ?

96
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,503
? It's the Wheel of Retribution ?

97
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,662
? Will he get a slap on the wrist ?

98
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,412
? Or a public execution? ?

99
00:05:42,014 --> 00:05:44,795
That song is my favorite part.
Please, keep going.

100
00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:48,599
? It's incredibly just, amazingly fair,
and also so much fun ?

101
00:05:48,624 --> 00:05:52,350
? The Wheel of Retribution
is a joy to everyone! ?

102
00:05:52,489 --> 00:05:53,419
Not for me.

103
00:05:53,444 --> 00:05:55,438
And what makes it extra amusing

104
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:59,108
is that one of the punishments
is the, quote, "silly one."

105
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:00,860
Uh, which one is the silly one?

106
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:04,197
- Win us a boat, Patrick!
- Don't be ridiculous, Glenn.

107
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,782
Take the cash, Patrick!

108
00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:16,704
_

109
00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:19,253
Phew! Looks like I'm butt chugging
a gallon of milk.

110
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:22,632
You're blind, dude. If anything,
it's closer to "face eaten by rats."

111
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:23,925
Shut the fuck up, Broth.

112
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,385
- You know what? I'm gonna give you both.
- But that's not fair.

113
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,263
Oh god. Please read back
the transcript for the court.

114
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:33,059
"It's incredibly just, amazingly fair,
and also so much fun.

115
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,853
The Wheel of Retribution
is a joy to everyone."

116
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,065
Okay, sustained. Fetch the face rats!

117
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,404
It's not so bad.

118
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,078
Woop! Woop! Hold everything!

119
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,414
Stage four rainbow alert! Woop! Woop!

120
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,213
Okay...

121
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,467
Your Majesty, sometimes I think

122
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:09,053
God must exist
if something as wondrous...

123
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,263
Ah, who gives a fuck?

124
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,723
We need the leprechaun gold
at the end of that rainbow,

125
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,101
or else our broke-ass kingdom
is gonna get conquered!

126
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,686
Maybe by big-dick Randy!

127
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,813
Every time we go on
a wild rainbow chase,

128
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,231
there's never any gold.

129
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,358
It is nothing but a silly little myth.

130
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:25,486
That's preposterous.
We just need to up the ante.

131
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,446
This time, the one who finds the gold

132
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,116
can keep the leprechaun to do
whatever you want with it!

133
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:33,662
Make it clean your place, sell it,
cut it up, fuck it, whatever!

134
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,957
Be careful out there.
Don't fall for their games.

135
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,459
- They're wily little bastards.
- Y-Your Majesty,

136
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,213
if I find the gold, may I have
my sentence commuted?

137
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,882
Patrick, if you find the gold,

138
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:48,301
I'll butt chug the milk myself.

139
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,179
- Your Honor, is that allowed?
- Ah, forget it, Andy.

140
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:52,973
It's rich people law.

141
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,983
Guys, if there's gold at
the end of the rainbow,

142
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:07,320
maybe let me find it, so I won't
have my face eaten off.

143
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:10,656
Patrick, sorry about your face,
but this is personal for me.

144
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,492
As a child, my dad said he was going
out to find the end of a rainbow,

145
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,008
and never... came... back.

146
00:08:16,033 --> 00:08:17,997
Sorry, buddy! I'm blinded by my lust for

147
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,415
a free leprechaun!

148
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,876
Frankly, Patrick, those rats
would be doing you a favor.

149
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,588
I also have an opinion
about your request!

150
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,176
Ah, screw them.

151
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,428
No one's ever found the end
of the rainbow anyway.

152
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,305
If I'm gonna find leprechaun gold,

153
00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:36,266
I need to be smart about this.

154
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,035
_

155
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,393
Ah! Of course!

156
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,481
I bet the knights know where to find
leprechauns. They've been everywhere.

157
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,525
What is it, kid?
Do you need an autograph?

158
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:48,195
Well, I'm... ha, ha not gonna say no.

159
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,324
There. That's permanent.

160
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,451
Great. Um, one other thing.

161
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,703
Could you point, on this map,

162
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,830
where all the leprechauns live?

163
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,207
Well, sure I can.

164
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,335
Ah!

165
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,046
Beeoo!

166
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,550
- Aw, my map!
- Oh look, I invited airplanes. No big.

167
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:14,178
Now, let's find a home
for all these boners!

168
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:17,057
Boners!

169
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:29,027
Hello? I think my map flew in here?

170
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,739
Oh my god, stop!

171
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,786
Damn it, that was my only bolt!
Go chase it down for me, would you?

172
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:41,664
I'm not helping you shoot
an arrow into your mouth!

173
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:44,500
Listen, it's always darkest
before the dawn.

174
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,003
Kid, save it. I took poison an hour ago.

175
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,796
The crossbow was just
to move things along.

176
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,883
- What? We need to get you to a hospital!
- Nah, there's no rush.

177
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,885
It's a slow-acting poison.

178
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,595
Well, why didn't you
take fast-acting poison?

179
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:58,807
Ah, I wanted to tragically weep
over that picture of my wife for a while first.

180
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,689
Look, I'm a real wild card.

181
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,233
- The name's Sir Kutter.
- Oh, my name's Patrick.

182
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,444
It sounds like we're
both having bad days.

183
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:13,529
I've gotta find a pot of leprechaun gold

184
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,406
or rats are gonna eat my face off.

185
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:18,492
Whoa! What did you do to earn that?

186
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:21,245
Eh, I gave away
state secrets to a sexy spy

187
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,080
who was the love of my life.

188
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,166
And now, I'll never be a knight.

189
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,126
Oh, this is the worst day ever.

190
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,046
You know what'll take the edge off?

191
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,382
A little poison.

192
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,426
Wow, thanks for helping me.

193
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,221
Patrick, we were born to be partners!

194
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:41,140
You're a joyless square whose
idea of a good time is crudités

195
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,351
and a jigsaw puzzle
with a lot of beige in it.

196
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,770
Meanwhile, I'm the hell-on-wheels rebel

197
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,480
rippin' farts and breakin' hearts

198
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,524
who double-majored in advanced badassery

199
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:51,068
and howling at the moon!

200
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,739
So, to be clear,
I'm definitely the lame partner.

201
00:10:56,740 --> 00:11:00,034
Oh yeah,
but partners complete each other!

202
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,744
You'll see. By the end of the story,

203
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,830
we'll each have learned
something from the other.

204
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,916
- Wow.
- And then, I'll die from poison,

205
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,545
- and, god, how you'll cry!
- Great.

206
00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:12,088
Uh, hey, this isn't the way
to the rainbow.

207
00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:15,550
Ah, spoken like a true lame-ass.
Let those other fools chase the rainbow.

208
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:18,427
Wild cards take shortcuts.

209
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:21,305
This shortcut really takes us
through the janky part of town.

210
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,517
The jankier the better!

211
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,271
Ol' One Horn around?

212
00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:30,773
Tell him Ol' Two Eyes
is looking for him.

213
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,025
One Horn ain't seeing visitors.

214
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,070
Well, that's a shame
because I ain't not seeing him.

215
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:39,907
Well, that's a shame
because you ain't not not seeing him.

216
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:44,328
Well, that's a shame because
I ain't not not not seeing him.

217
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:47,999
Well, you're not not not not...

218
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,584
I'm gonna kill you!

219
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:51,752
- Oh my god!
- That's not a knife.

220
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,880
That's a knife.

221
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,882
Technically, they're both knives.

222
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,509
Size has nothing to do with it.

223
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,928
Ha!

224
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,264
Oh! That escalated so fast!

225
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:06,100
Relax. I missed all of his
vital face organs on purpose.

226
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,102
It's true! It barely hurts!

227
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,021
Wow! Such precision.

228
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,940
Steamers and kielbasa, comin' up!

229
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,817
Stick around.

230
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,944
Fun partners love puns,
lame partners hate them.

231
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,280
If I ever hear a pun out of your mouth,

232
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,283
I'll know I've reached you.

233
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,748
We found the end of the rainbow!

234
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,583
This was not hard at all.

235
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,627
Does anyone see my dad?

236
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:35,464
Griffin found the rainbow first,
but I'm gonna find that gold.

237
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,592
Ooh! I found a shiny rock!

238
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:42,136
I found friendship!
It's better than gold!

239
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,555
Shut up, Gorby!

240
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,933
Hey, Griffin! I found your dad!

241
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,310
- Papa!
- No! I am Eric.

242
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:52,688
How dare you trespass
on leprechaun property.

243
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:56,568
If it's gold you want,
the stakes shall be your very lives.

244
00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:00,321
It's time to play...

245
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:03,325
Shamrock Showdown!

246
00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:12,416
Alright, Gorby. Your first challenge

247
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,878
is to answer this question
for a shot at a prize.

248
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,756
Leprechauns are notoriously fond

249
00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,591
of this color.

250
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,760
- Green?
- Correct! You've won

251
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,804
a hand-crafted flute!

252
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,138
Good job, Gorby!

253
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,432
Now, would you like to keep your flute,

254
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:31,727
or tempt fate for a chance at the gold?

255
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,729
Definitely the flute.

256
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,524
- Gorby, that question was so easy.
- Yeah! Tempt fate!

257
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,150
Tempt fate! Tempt fate!

258
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,319
- Tempt fate!
- Okay.

259
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,030
- I'm gonna tempt fate, Eric!
- Alright then!

260
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:46,075
Spell the world "shillelagh."

261
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:49,203
- Can you use it in a sentence?
- Of course I can!

262
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:52,290
Quote, "Spell the word 'shillelagh, '

263
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:54,876
- said Eric."
- Okay. Shillelagh.

264
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:59,381
S-H-A-I-L-E-N-E-W-O-O-D-L-E-Y.

265
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,718
Gorby!

266
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:09,724
Who is it, Jerry?

267
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:12,268
Jerry, you can tell him
it's a no-fun squire

268
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,061
who really brings the room down

269
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:17,023
and a rascally rogue
who's more of an anti-hero

270
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,524
you love to hate.

271
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,986
Ah, no. Jerry, take five, please.

272
00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:24,113
I'm calling in my favor, One Horn.

273
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,116
You know the one I mean.

274
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,040
You wanna go in front of me?
You've only got, like, two things.

275
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:37,169
I got, like, 100 if you count
every olive in this jar.

276
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,048
Thanks. You know, I-I owe you one.

277
00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:43,966
I knew that would come back
to bite me in the ass.

278
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,177
Tell us where
the Leprechaun Gang is hiding out!

279
00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:48,471
No way! If they find out I squealed,

280
00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:50,306
they'll give me the Four Leaf Clover.

281
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:53,976
That's when they carve a plus sign
into your face with a razor,

282
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,521
and then peel each quadrant back.

283
00:14:56,522 --> 00:14:59,315
Jesus! Maybe he doesn't
have to tell us where they are.

284
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:00,942
The Four Leaf Clover's
a walk in the park

285
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:03,236
compared to getting your face
eaten off by rats, Patrick!

286
00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,738
Oh shit!
Yeah, give me a Four Leaf Clover

287
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,532
- any day of the week.
- Great.

288
00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:11,160
I'm sorry, Kutter,
but I can only do you one favor today.

289
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,621
Killing you real quick.

290
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,715
Mule kick!

291
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,261
Oh... Huh?

292
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,185
Ah, damn it!

293
00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:41,732
Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Stop!

294
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:45,236
The Leprechaun Gang's laying low
at the Pot O' Gold Restaurant on 5th!

295
00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:48,197
- Ask for Eric!
- There. Was that so hard?

296
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:50,825
Next time I see you
at the checkout line,

297
00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:53,452
you aren't cutting in front of shit!

298
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,706
See you around, None Horn!

299
00:15:57,082 --> 00:16:00,042
What have you done?!
I'm just a horse now!

300
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,713
A stupid fucking horse!

301
00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:09,385
I feel bad about that unicorn.

302
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:12,388
You know, I-I bet a lot of his self-worth
was tied up in that horn.

303
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,348
Don't cry any tears for
that piece of shit, Patrick.

304
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:16,350
He runs an illegal horse fighting ring.

305
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:19,645
But he is a horse.
Why would he do that to his own kind?

306
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,023
Everyone knows that
the horse hierarchy goes

307
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,317
unicorns, pegasuses,
zebras, show horses,

308
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,194
racehorses, labor horses,
mini horses, ponies,

309
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:28,654
donkeys, mules,
followed by your second tier,

310
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,740
lady unicorns, lady pegasuses,
lady zebras...

311
00:16:30,741 --> 00:16:33,577
Wow. Horse culture is really toxic.

312
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,668
Hey, I won a skull!

313
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,296
Alright. Ah!

314
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,882
I'm not worried.
I work for the best king ever,

315
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:51,011
and he's probably working on a plan
to save all of us right now!

316
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:55,849
Just a little higher!
I think we've almost got Randy beat!

317
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,896
- Now, just hold it there forever.
- Ah! Jesus fucking Christ!

318
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,653
Wow, a fondue place.
Now I have somewhere to bring dates.

319
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:10,989
Sure, kid. Dates.

320
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:18,789
Hey, that woman looks like
the lady in your painting.

321
00:17:20,249 --> 00:17:21,750
Jazlyn!

322
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:23,627
Jazlyn?

323
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:27,505
So, this is my replacement, huh?

324
00:17:27,506 --> 00:17:30,633
- Hello, Kutter.
- Oh, howdy! Pleased to meet you!

325
00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:33,803
- My name's Bruce.
- Your dead wife... is alive?

326
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:35,137
I never said she was dead!

327
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:38,266
- It was strongly implied.
- Well, she's dead to me.

328
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:40,726
Dead! Just like I'll be soon.
You hear that,

329
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,145
Jazlyn?!

330
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,439
Always a pleasure.

331
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,567
Ah! Oh! Ah! That hurts!

332
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:48,693
Oh, Patrick!

333
00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:52,196
Help us! The punishment for losing
the game show is being turned into cheese!

334
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:56,200
Ho-ho! Someone fell for
the Shamrock Showdown.

335
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:59,413
Let's fon-due this. Oh no.

336
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:04,209
This partnership was a success.

337
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,463
Cheddar luck next time, bitch.

338
00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:21,184
Word around the janky part of town

339
00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:23,728
is you're looking
for Eric the Leprechaun.

340
00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:26,147
Well, I've got some bad news.

341
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,649
You found him.

342
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:32,196
Ha!

343
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:40,787
Ah!

344
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,748
Looking Gouda, motherfucker!

345
00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:45,250
No, no! No, no! Ah!

346
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,795
Gimme that. Ah! Ha!

347
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:55,468
Ow! That's just annoying!
Get us with a blade, you idiot!

348
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:58,472
Ah! It's got all my face organs!

349
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:04,685
Ha, ha!
We took down the Leprechaun Gang!

350
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:07,605
Not that I'm bragging as we are much
larger and stronger than them.

351
00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:10,567
Thanks for saving our lives.
You know we'd do the same for you.

352
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:13,611
You literally didn't earlier today.

353
00:19:13,612 --> 00:19:16,239
Ha! Right. We're incorrigible. Anyway,

354
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,616
I'll catch you
on the flip-flop, tim-tam!

355
00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:20,285
Bye, Patrick!

356
00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:24,623
You caught me! Now, let's play...

357
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:29,262
Give us the gold or I'll kick
your nuts up through your mouth hole!

358
00:19:30,504 --> 00:19:31,754
Fair enough.

359
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:34,632
Well, you killed several members
of my date's family.

360
00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:37,885
I'm unlikely to even get finger-banged
tonight. Thanks a lot.

361
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:40,805
Hey, leave him alone.
He has minutes to live.

362
00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,850
- Oh, is he still doing that routine?
- I mean it this time!

363
00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:46,895
Okay, so you're not wearing the antidote
on a chain around your neck?

364
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,815
Fuck you, Jazlyn.

365
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,735
Contract fulfilled.

366
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,737
Here's your giant pot of gold.

367
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:59,365
This is it? It's so small.

368
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,159
Well, it's giant to me,
you sizeist motherfucker!

369
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,413
I bet there are giant people
somewhere who think you're small!

370
00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:07,415
Yeah. They're called giants.

371
00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:10,501
Ever consider that
they're the normal ones?

372
00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:13,171
So that would make you extra-extra tiny?

373
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:15,882
Well, by the transitive
property, sure. Now, get out!

374
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,509
I'm a defeated man.

375
00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:20,721
Whoa.

376
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,390
What's all that?

377
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,601
Ooh, those gems are bad luck!

378
00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,519
Negative four shamrocks,

379
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,438
our lowest luck rating.

380
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:31,981
Can I have some?

381
00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:33,816
No! What did I just tell you?

382
00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:36,194
They say doom befalls anyone

383
00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,989
who removes even one of these gems.

384
00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:44,577
Well, I'll be on my way now!
But remember,

385
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:46,579
don't touch the gems!

386
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:48,080
Gems... gems... gems...

387
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,249
Cursed! Cursed... cursed... cursed...

388
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,127
Echo! Echo... echo... echo...

389
00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:55,505
Well, kid, this gold should keep

390
00:20:55,506 --> 00:20:58,174
the rats off your face
until you screw up again.

391
00:20:58,175 --> 00:21:00,134
Thanks for everything, Sir Kutter.

392
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:03,262
I didn't love you constantly
dragging me for being lame,

393
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,765
but you're right.
Being a knight should be fun.

394
00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:08,476
I need to embrace the adventure
and the excitement.

395
00:21:08,477 --> 00:21:11,395
Get out there and fondue it, kid.

396
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,481
I hope you're gonna
take that antidote now?

397
00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:16,651
You know what?
I learned something from you, too.

398
00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:18,444
I'm not ready to hang it up yet.

399
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:21,155
Maybe I'm a wild card
with a devil-may-care attitude,

400
00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:22,573
but also,

401
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:25,827
maybe I'm clinically depressed about
my divorce and should seek treatment.

402
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,580
I shall live another day!

403
00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:33,042
Ah. The antidote was damaged
during the battle and is now empty.

404
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:35,086
Oh no! What are you gonna do?

405
00:21:35,087 --> 00:21:38,005
We passed a drugstore on the way.
If I run at a solid sprint,

406
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:39,841
I should make it there in time.

407
00:21:39,842 --> 00:21:41,884
One more thing. Could you float
me $20? I get paid Friday...

408
00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:43,136
Ah!

409
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,514
Holy shit! He fucking exploded!

410
00:21:46,515 --> 00:21:48,517
What was in that poison?!

411
00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:51,561
I gotta say, as deaths go,

412
00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,647
that was pretty wild card.

413
00:21:59,278 --> 00:22:00,903
Look what I found.

414
00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:03,281
You wouldn't believe the hell

415
00:22:03,282 --> 00:22:05,616
- I had to go through to get this.
- That's it?

416
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:07,661
That's the whole pot?
Fetch the face rats.

417
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,664
Wait wait! I also got you this.

418
00:22:11,665 --> 00:22:13,541
Oogly-moogly,

419
00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:16,711
Patrick. Way to bury the lead.
Where'd you find these?

420
00:22:16,712 --> 00:22:20,047
Oh, there's a whole cave filled
with them not too far from the castle,

421
00:22:20,048 --> 00:22:23,593
but I was warned to never touch them,

422
00:22:23,594 --> 00:22:25,511
touch them, touch them.

423
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:27,471
Oh, we're gonna touch 'em, alright.

424
00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:29,140
Touch 'em like a bad uncle.

425
00:22:29,141 --> 00:22:31,767
You're the greatest squire ever,
for real this time.

426
00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:34,604
And someday, you're gonna
make one hell of a knight.

427
00:22:34,605 --> 00:22:36,522
Thank you, Your Majesty.

428
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:38,441
Well, now that I'm rich again,

429
00:22:38,442 --> 00:22:41,235
I'm off to squander money
on something pointless.

430
00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:44,530
Not so fast, Your Majesty.
You got some, uh,

431
00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:46,324
unfinished business.

432
00:22:46,325 --> 00:22:48,784
Butt chug! Butt chug!

433
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:52,288
Oh! Ooh! It's like pooping in reverse.

434
00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:54,707
Which is not as much fun as you'd think.

435
00:22:54,732 --> 00:22:56,333
- Butt chug!
- Ooh!

436
00:22:56,653 --> 00:23:01,879
CREDITS