1
00:00:30,228 --> 00:00:33,772
_

2
00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,990
_

3
00:00:43,693 --> 00:00:46,436
Congratulations, sir...
it's eight puppies.

4
00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,380
Four boys, three girls, and, uh,

5
00:00:48,532 --> 00:00:50,957
one who would prefer
not to be labeled yet.

6
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,052
Excellent, eight purebred puppies

7
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:54,461
descended from the first litter

8
00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:57,222
of Karl Friedrich Dobermann himself.

9
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,299
Smithers,
you're in charge of their training.

10
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,635
Teach them all the classic commands.

11
00:01:01,787 --> 00:01:03,303
Sit, stay...

12
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,565
and bite striking workers
with your "wittle teefers."

13
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:07,958
Yes, Mr. Burns.

14
00:01:07,976 --> 00:01:10,143
And you've allowed the training dummies

15
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,053
to fall into terrible disrepair.

16
00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,772
So I've ordered a new one.

17
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,390
Here he is now.

18
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,182
Um, I was told there'd be a taco truck?

19
00:01:18,217 --> 00:01:20,137
Don't worry,
their adult teeth haven't come in yet.

20
00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,581
Just look out for their
much sharper baby teeth.

21
00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:28,629
Hmm. Hmm.

22
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,075
Ah, I guess
"Executive Kennel Supervisor"

23
00:01:34,169 --> 00:01:36,169
is all I'll ever be to Mr. Burns.

24
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,171
Nothing... ow... worse... ow...

25
00:01:38,324 --> 00:01:40,324
than not being respected... ow...

26
00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:41,749
at work! Ow!

27
00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:46,605
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow.

28
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,608
Ow. Ow. Ow.

29
00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:52,277
- Ow.
- Aw!

30
00:01:58,412 --> 00:02:00,010
Ah, the puppies are finally

31
00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:01,436
murderous enough to be doled out

32
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,364
to my rich and powerful
allies who need watchdogs.

33
00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:06,533
Now to look through the pile of bribes

34
00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:10,184
and see who's begging hard
enough to earn a puppy.

35
00:02:10,219 --> 00:02:13,857
Warren Buffett sent this
box of broken wooden pieces.

36
00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:15,175
Sir, that's a puzzle.

37
00:02:15,722 --> 00:02:16,726
It certainly is a puzzle.

38
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,975
What's his game,
sending me these misshapen bits?

39
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:23,204
Uh, well,
it's an activity people do for fun.

40
00:02:23,239 --> 00:02:25,277
With their friends.
Perhaps you and I could...

41
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,229
Perhaps you could stop
assuming familiarity

42
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:28,471
with your betters.

43
00:02:28,624 --> 00:02:30,232
Now de-gunk the puppies' eyes!

44
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:42,485
Oh, if only I'd been born
in a litter of puppies,

45
00:02:42,638 --> 00:02:44,729
then maybe someone would love me.

46
00:02:45,646 --> 00:02:46,790
Simpson!

47
00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:51,494
Come on, Mr. Smithers,
you don't have to be lonely.

48
00:02:51,647 --> 00:02:53,496
You've totally got it going on.

49
00:02:53,649 --> 00:02:56,091
You've got that bow
tie and those glasses

50
00:02:56,318 --> 00:02:59,152
and that hunky nasal voice.

51
00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:01,596
Oh, sadly,
the Springfield dating pool is

52
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,339
pretty bleak.

53
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,583
It's always guys who
don't want to commit,

54
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,178
or straight guys who are
going through a phase.

55
00:03:08,807 --> 00:03:10,087
Disco Stu is

56
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,423
hetero-flexible. Ooh!

57
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,259
I just want someone
to be there when I get home.

58
00:03:15,353 --> 00:03:18,095
Someone who loves me unconditionally.

59
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,097
Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.

60
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,192
It's the conditions that'll kill ya.

61
00:03:22,344 --> 00:03:25,507
Mr. Smithers,
I'm gonna find you a man-Marge.

62
00:03:25,542 --> 00:03:27,748
Look at this guy... he seems perfect!

63
00:03:27,783 --> 00:03:28,873
That's me.

64
00:03:29,699 --> 00:03:32,586
Oh, yeah.
Well, it is a much younger picture.

65
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,780
Goodbye. Thank you for the oil.

66
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,023
I love it.

67
00:03:37,192 --> 00:03:38,282
Excellent.

68
00:03:38,376 --> 00:03:40,284
Well, that's the last of the litter.

69
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:43,196
Oh, except for you.

70
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,365
You're no killer, with those soft eyes

71
00:03:45,383 --> 00:03:46,958
and kind disposition.

72
00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,677
You've brought shame to the
very notion of inbreeding.

73
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,128
Go on, bite him.

74
00:03:51,223 --> 00:03:53,398
Bite his doughy face.

75
00:03:56,378 --> 00:03:58,545
Who's gonna take you home?

76
00:03:58,714 --> 00:04:00,380
I hope they find you a dictator

77
00:04:00,549 --> 00:04:01,990
who's as sweet as you are.

78
00:04:02,695 --> 00:04:05,760
Or... how about
a Fortune 500 fashion designer

79
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:09,146
who's already made a
matching suit for the puppy?

80
00:04:09,224 --> 00:04:12,000
Good muscle tone, needy,
with a slight drooling problem.

81
00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:14,711
Reminds me of my last boyfriend.

82
00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:18,840
His last girlfriend was a boy?

83
00:04:18,991 --> 00:04:22,301
Your last girlfriend was a boy?

84
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:28,591
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just...

85
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,760
Negotiating the sale of
excess Kilowatt hours

86
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,187
to a Chinese server farm.

87
00:04:32,414 --> 00:04:35,098
- And you got a very good deal.
- Mm.

88
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,359
I also speak Mandarin.
I'm Michael de Graaf,

89
00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:40,420
and I flew here from my villa
in Milan to claim this puppy.

90
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:43,590
I can offer Burns a priceless
Impressionist painting.

91
00:04:43,608 --> 00:04:46,593
Mr. Burns' collection
could use a Manet...

92
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:50,205
Well, I've got a Monet and a
guy who can change O's to A's.

93
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,615
Mm, Mr. Burns would never
know the difference.

94
00:04:52,768 --> 00:04:55,693
He hates art...
he just wants to keep it out of museums.

95
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,243
But first I told him
you have some questions

96
00:04:58,278 --> 00:05:01,572
about what the puppy's
looking for in a companion.

97
00:05:01,607 --> 00:05:04,093
Well, uh, this is an unusual Dobermann.

98
00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:07,021
Uh, are you prepared
for a dog that's sweet,

99
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:10,132
maybe a little shy,
but just wants to give his heart

100
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:11,417
to someone who loves him?

101
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,586
He sounds like a dream come true.

102
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,697
Okay, the puppy's yours, Mr. de Graaf.

103
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,532
Please, it's Michael.

104
00:05:17,683 --> 00:05:19,367
This calls for a celebration.

105
00:05:19,594 --> 00:05:21,185
Are you free for dinner tonight?

106
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,378
I'm sorry?

107
00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:23,946
You're talented, smart as a whip,

108
00:05:24,099 --> 00:05:27,208
and hot in a 1960s Cape
Canaveral kind of way.

109
00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:29,435
I'd love to take you on a date.

110
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:31,437
Well, I'd love...

111
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:34,007
to say yes!

112
00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:39,629
I love this place! It's so old school.

113
00:05:39,781 --> 00:05:42,390
It reminds me of my childhood...
laminated menus,

114
00:05:42,617 --> 00:05:45,785
fossilized Parmesan, problematic murals.

115
00:05:46,538 --> 00:05:48,229
Welcome-a to Luigi's.

116
00:05:48,456 --> 00:05:50,857
Italiana food for everybody.

117
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,735
I put a-salt and a-pepper on the table,

118
00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:55,978
but for you, such a handsome couple,

119
00:05:56,072 --> 00:05:58,889
if you want-a pepper and-a pepper,

120
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,467
hey, that's a-wonderful, too!

121
00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:06,414
Vintage vinyl.

122
00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:08,416
Add some spikes to it,
and you've got half

123
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:10,309
of Vivienne Westwood's career.

124
00:06:11,479 --> 00:06:12,812
Okay, that was a fake laugh.

125
00:06:12,923 --> 00:06:15,665
I was afraid to admit I don't
know anything about fashion.

126
00:06:15,759 --> 00:06:18,259
Oh, that's so refreshing.

127
00:06:18,486 --> 00:06:20,987
People usually want to
date me to get into GQ,

128
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,540
meet Anna Wintour,
or co-parent Anderson Cooper's baby.

129
00:06:24,575 --> 00:06:26,601
I guess that was just Anderson Cooper.

130
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:30,688
Waylon, you are like
no one I've ever met.

131
00:06:35,503 --> 00:06:37,612
Mamma, no! God-a loves everybody!

132
00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:44,010
But what about Uncle
Benito and the roommate

133
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:46,362
he always-a brings to Easter supper?

134
00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:51,184
Mamma, no!
Do not put a hex on their ziti!

135
00:06:54,355 --> 00:06:56,297
_

136
00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:00,860
People like me should spend
more time in flyover country,

137
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:03,045
see what America's really like.

138
00:07:03,139 --> 00:07:05,640
More like fly-around country.
Planes won't go near us

139
00:07:05,867 --> 00:07:08,643
because of all the teens
with laser pointers.

140
00:07:12,442 --> 00:07:13,797
It's a shame you have to leave tomorrow.

141
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:15,391
Oh, I'm canceling my flight.

142
00:07:15,912 --> 00:07:17,877
- Why?
- Because it would be much harder

143
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,989
to fall in love with you from Milan.

144
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:26,886
Homer, what happened?

145
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,738
I can feel it... my fix-up is working.

146
00:07:28,890 --> 00:07:31,407
I changed the destiny
of two human beings.

147
00:07:31,559 --> 00:07:34,486
I am a gay matchmaking God!

148
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,896
What about some straight
matchmaking for us?

149
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,882
I'm a God, not a miracle worker.

150
00:07:45,849 --> 00:07:47,590
And he posted you on his Instagram?

151
00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:50,426
Cute caption? Gay couple emoji?

152
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,669
I'm excited!

153
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,022
What was that?

154
00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:55,581
Oh, just guy stuff.

155
00:07:55,674 --> 00:07:57,674
Smithers was updating
me on his boyfriend.

156
00:07:57,694 --> 00:07:59,676
- Boyfriend?
- Yeah, no big deal.

157
00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:02,513
I kind of fixed Smithers
up with a dude I know.

158
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,032
Now they're going steady. No big deal.

159
00:08:04,259 --> 00:08:06,350
Wait, wait, I just have one question.

160
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,277
Can I ask you a thousand questions?

161
00:08:08,371 --> 00:08:10,747
Sorry, Marge, late for work.

162
00:08:13,768 --> 00:08:15,768
Tell me everything!

163
00:08:15,861 --> 00:08:18,212
Um, they've been dating
for six weeks or so.

164
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:19,380
You probably don't even know him.

165
00:08:19,607 --> 00:08:20,773
He's some fashion designer guy.

166
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,124
Michael de Graaf.

167
00:08:22,277 --> 00:08:23,384
What?

168
00:08:23,553 --> 00:08:26,431
Smithers is dating Michael de Graaf,

169
00:08:26,466 --> 00:08:29,706
the judge on seasons ten through
15 of America's Got Fabric?

170
00:08:30,101 --> 00:08:32,918
He has my favorite catchphrase!

171
00:08:33,011 --> 00:08:35,345
Now, that is avant-gorgeous.

172
00:08:35,439 --> 00:08:37,531
Oh, my God, honey, you got catchphrased.

173
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,943
And he's even more famous
for his savage zings.

174
00:08:41,112 --> 00:08:43,262
I don't know.
It's a little Sex and the City.

175
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,707
If there were no sex and
the city was Milwaukee.

176
00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:51,045
They dress so bad in Milwaukee.

177
00:08:51,172 --> 00:08:52,195
I assume.

178
00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:53,215
Hmm?

179
00:08:56,219 --> 00:08:58,444
I have to meet Michael de Graaf!

180
00:08:58,613 --> 00:09:01,204
Okay, okay.
When they come back from their trip.

181
00:09:01,224 --> 00:09:03,949
Ooh, whisked off by a billionaire.

182
00:09:04,042 --> 00:09:06,394
How romantic. Where did they go?

183
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:09,045
Well, Smithers says they're
too young for Provincetown,

184
00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:10,973
too monogamous for Fire Island

185
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:13,792
and you know how Waylon
gets in Palm Springs.

186
00:09:13,811 --> 00:09:14,902
No, I don't!

187
00:09:15,053 --> 00:09:17,446
I don't know anything!

188
00:09:22,319 --> 00:09:23,577
Yeah, it's pretty sweet

189
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,563
to completely alter the
course of people's lives.

190
00:09:26,641 --> 00:09:28,565
If it goes great, I'm a genius.

191
00:09:28,584 --> 00:09:29,658
If it goes south,

192
00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:31,994
I just turn off my phone.

193
00:09:32,801 --> 00:09:35,330
Ah, a beautiful resort,

194
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:36,757
a turquoise ocean.

195
00:09:36,984 --> 00:09:38,651
The only thing missing
is Christine Baranski

196
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,152
singing "Dancing Queen."

197
00:09:40,245 --> 00:09:42,504
I thought you might say that.

198
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:48,010
* Friday night and
the lights are low *

199
00:09:48,162 --> 00:09:51,922
* Looking out for a place to go *

200
00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:54,090
Oh, my God! How much did that cost?

201
00:09:54,259 --> 00:09:55,443
Less than you might think.

202
00:09:55,519 --> 00:09:57,686
- Oh, and I got you something else.
- Oh.

203
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,188
I call it the Waylon.

204
00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:01,765
Like you,
it's sophisticated yet playful,

205
00:10:01,784 --> 00:10:03,842
as blue and sparkling as your eyes.

206
00:10:03,861 --> 00:10:05,360
Okay, I've got to go.

207
00:10:05,437 --> 00:10:08,847
I'm helping a 13-year-old
boy come out to his parents.

208
00:10:09,016 --> 00:10:11,200
To Jacksonville!

209
00:10:11,352 --> 00:10:16,522
* Digging the dancing queen...! *

210
00:10:18,526 --> 00:10:19,858
_

211
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:22,261
Sorry I'm late, sir.

212
00:10:22,305 --> 00:10:24,530
A-And sorry I wasn't
available this weekend.

213
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:26,289
Or last weekend. I was...

214
00:10:26,309 --> 00:10:27,624
You were gone?

215
00:10:27,643 --> 00:10:29,384
Who cares? I figured it out.

216
00:10:29,537 --> 00:10:31,312
These pieces are designed to interlock.

217
00:10:31,539 --> 00:10:33,296
But to what purpose?

218
00:10:33,465 --> 00:10:34,707
Sir, it is a puzzle.

219
00:10:34,725 --> 00:10:36,041
Not for long, man.

220
00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:37,985
Monty Burns is on the case.

221
00:10:38,245 --> 00:10:42,573
The obvious first step is to
sort every piece by weight.

222
00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:47,828
Waylon!

223
00:10:48,055 --> 00:10:50,723
Marge? Why are you
in the executive parking lot?

224
00:10:50,741 --> 00:10:51,815
Who cares?

225
00:10:51,909 --> 00:10:54,226
Tell me all about Michael de Graaf!

226
00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:57,396
Well, Michael's kind of perfect.

227
00:10:57,414 --> 00:10:59,231
Attentive, treats me like an equal,

228
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:00,916
has never trap-doored
an entire Girl Scout troop

229
00:11:01,068 --> 00:11:02,401
because they were out of Thin Mints.

230
00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:05,254
I mean, it's nice to finally
be in love with someone...

231
00:11:05,406 --> 00:11:07,848
- good.
- I'm dying to meet him.

232
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,909
What if we threw you two a party?

233
00:11:10,928 --> 00:11:12,594
A party. That's what people do

234
00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:14,688
when they finally have
something worth celebrating.

235
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,915
- Let's do it!
- Yes!

236
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,752
This makes me part of
your couple origin story.

237
00:11:19,770 --> 00:11:20,853
I'm in!

238
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:26,592
Just what I always wanted for him,

239
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,685
a handsome billionaire boyfriend.

240
00:11:28,779 --> 00:11:30,037
So happy.

241
00:11:31,115 --> 00:11:32,689
Excuse me, Mr. de Graaf,

242
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,267
we love your wicked zingers on the show.

243
00:11:35,286 --> 00:11:36,310
Could you?

244
00:11:36,361 --> 00:11:37,411
My pleasure.

245
00:11:37,438 --> 00:11:39,288
Wow, it was so kind of Estelle Getty

246
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,198
to donate her wardrobe for your
production of The Crucible.

247
00:11:43,277 --> 00:11:45,778
Hello and welcome to Grey Gardens.

248
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,704
At least those ladies had a look.

249
00:11:47,723 --> 00:11:49,557
You have a "don't look."

250
00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:52,593
Do you like my top?

251
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,044
Yes, I love the shoulder pads.

252
00:11:54,212 --> 00:11:56,972
Is something I would have said in the
'90s but not about that.

253
00:11:57,066 --> 00:11:58,566
Do you like my top?

254
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,818
Yes. He seems very nice.

255
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,071
Is it wrong to enjoy being envied?

256
00:12:04,222 --> 00:12:06,315
Because I am savoring it.

257
00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:08,817
When did you first realize
that Homer was the one,

258
00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:10,819
the great love of your life?

259
00:12:10,913 --> 00:12:13,396
Well, after he got me pregnant,

260
00:12:13,416 --> 00:12:16,417
I just knew he was someone
I was gonna have kids with.

261
00:12:16,644 --> 00:12:18,143
Aw. Mwah.

262
00:12:18,236 --> 00:12:20,737
Young lady,
I like your quirky fashion sense.

263
00:12:20,756 --> 00:12:22,998
That zigzag dress hem is everything.

264
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:25,984
Thanks, but I don't really
pay attention to fashion.

265
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,987
It doesn't seem... super important.

266
00:12:28,989 --> 00:12:31,414
I'd like to suggest some alterations.
May I?

267
00:12:31,434 --> 00:12:34,509
I mean, it's a waste of your time,
but fine.

268
00:12:34,662 --> 00:12:37,255
Wearing the same thing
every day is a choice,

269
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,681
so I can free up my mind to
think about important things,

270
00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,758
rather than "Am I on trend?"

271
00:12:41,777 --> 00:12:43,777
Ha, whatever that means.

272
00:12:43,946 --> 00:12:45,687
You know who didn't care about fashion?

273
00:12:45,781 --> 00:12:47,114
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

274
00:12:47,341 --> 00:12:49,830
She slapped on a doily
and that was enough.

275
00:12:49,865 --> 00:12:52,527
This obsession with
appearance in our culture...

276
00:12:52,622 --> 00:12:54,461
Did you make me taller?

277
00:12:54,496 --> 00:12:55,963
I feel so confident.

278
00:12:55,998 --> 00:12:59,184
I don't even have a job,
but I'm going to ask for a raise.

279
00:13:01,522 --> 00:13:03,297
A toast to our hosts.

280
00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:04,873
And to Marge's hair,

281
00:13:05,025 --> 00:13:07,283
which is avant-gorgeous.

282
00:13:07,378 --> 00:13:08,710
Oh!

283
00:13:08,804 --> 00:13:10,471
And I want you to be
the first to hear...

284
00:13:10,622 --> 00:13:12,865
I've decided to manufacture
my new retail line

285
00:13:12,883 --> 00:13:14,383
right here in Springfield,

286
00:13:14,477 --> 00:13:17,703
in the factory that used
to make fidget spinners.

287
00:13:17,705 --> 00:13:19,221
Spin-ners!

288
00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:21,874
And if anyone needs a job,
there are applications

289
00:13:21,892 --> 00:13:25,560
right next to the best
coleslaw I've ever had.

290
00:13:25,713 --> 00:13:27,154
Ooh-hoo!

291
00:13:29,884 --> 00:13:31,900
Mamma, everyone is-a happy.

292
00:13:32,052 --> 00:13:35,162
Why are you so against this-a love? Why?

293
00:13:35,313 --> 00:13:36,722
I hate...

294
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,315
because I hate-a myself!

295
00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:42,060
I... I love-a the women.

296
00:13:42,062 --> 00:13:44,338
No, Mamma, you are beautiful.

297
00:13:44,565 --> 00:13:47,174
You love-a the women,
and I love-a the you.

298
00:13:49,327 --> 00:13:53,588
I had a pillow of-a Gina Lollobrigida

299
00:13:53,683 --> 00:13:55,073
that I used to, oh...

300
00:13:57,261 --> 00:13:59,978
Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, Mamma!

301
00:14:01,929 --> 00:14:04,091
Look, it's Michael's new factory!

302
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,475
So modern.

303
00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:06,735
Can we look inside?

304
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,887
Yeah, do you know
anybody that works there?

305
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:11,573
Ha, well, they hired
most of the desperate saps

306
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:12,982
who've been unemployed forever.

307
00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:14,484
So, yeah, I'm friends with all of 'em.

308
00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:17,671
This week's trend is
glitter on sunglasses.

309
00:14:17,822 --> 00:14:19,548
So we got right on it.

310
00:14:28,183 --> 00:14:30,425
What happens to all the toxic stuff?

311
00:14:30,577 --> 00:14:32,811
It gets off-glittered
through the chimney.

312
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,420
Hey, look at me, I'm a working stiff!

313
00:14:42,439 --> 00:14:45,090
Very stiff. These chemicals
are giving me a condition

314
00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:48,285
my doctor calls "living rigor mortis."

315
00:14:49,038 --> 00:14:50,245
_

316
00:14:51,782 --> 00:14:54,524
No wonder fast fashion
is so inexpensive.

317
00:14:54,618 --> 00:14:56,877
This place is terrible
for the environment.

318
00:14:57,028 --> 00:14:58,620
And it's a sweatshop!

319
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:01,715
No, sweetie, it's a sweatpants shop.

320
00:15:01,866 --> 00:15:05,052
Which are made with Lycra,
which leaches into the sea.

321
00:15:05,203 --> 00:15:08,055
Our oceans are now ten percent spandex.

322
00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:10,223
Well, then they'll fit
the Earth more snugly.

323
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:11,892
Dad, how can Michael allow this?

324
00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:14,803
I thought gay people were
supposed to be better than us.

325
00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:16,045
You mean our boss?

326
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,164
He knows.

327
00:15:17,595 --> 00:15:20,600
_

328
00:15:20,736 --> 00:15:23,737
No. Michael's the
perfect guy for Smithers.

329
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,721
I picked him out!

330
00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:27,390
I fixed them up!

331
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:31,244
My gay matchmaking reputation is ruined!

332
00:15:31,471 --> 00:15:33,872
The human suffering is bad, too.

333
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,830
How do I tell Smithers
that the love of his life

334
00:15:41,998 --> 00:15:43,406
is running a sweatshop?

335
00:15:43,425 --> 00:15:45,474
Hey, look, you tried to play God,

336
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:46,614
and now, like God,

337
00:15:46,653 --> 00:15:50,488
you get to stand back and laugh
at all the losers' suffering.

338
00:15:50,582 --> 00:15:52,157
Ha-ha.

339
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,767
Ah, losers.

340
00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:57,604
Oh, who knew gay relationships
could be complicated?

341
00:16:00,517 --> 00:16:02,758
Man, tough day on the line.

342
00:16:02,778 --> 00:16:07,096
Another guy lost an arm to
the spaghetti strap slicer.

343
00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:09,357
Oh, I don't feel so good.

344
00:16:09,451 --> 00:16:12,844
I think I spent too much
time in the tie-dye chamber.

345
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:16,105
You think that's bad?

346
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:18,875
I got to go break a guy's heart.

347
00:16:20,778 --> 00:16:22,278
There he is!

348
00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:23,779
The man who showed me that love is real

349
00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:26,691
and there is a man at
the end of the rainbow.

350
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:30,303
Oof. Speaking of showing
you things you didn't know,

351
00:16:30,530 --> 00:16:32,848
look what his factory's
done to Lake Springfield.

352
00:16:34,551 --> 00:16:35,867
Wha...?

353
00:16:35,886 --> 00:16:38,203
It's gone plaid.

354
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,296
M-Michael must have an explanation.

355
00:16:40,315 --> 00:16:41,397
He-He's a good man.

356
00:16:41,466 --> 00:16:43,041
Uh, I just need advice

357
00:16:43,059 --> 00:16:44,818
from someone who understands
the ethical challenges

358
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,878
faced by business leaders.

359
00:16:47,661 --> 00:16:50,215
Smithers, I've made amazing progress.

360
00:16:50,308 --> 00:16:52,217
By giving this enigma
my undivided attention,

361
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:55,069
I've proven conclusively
these pieces form...

362
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,979
a secret image.

363
00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,556
I can't believe I'm asking you this,

364
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:01,559
but I-I have a question about, uh...

365
00:17:01,578 --> 00:17:02,669
my love life.

366
00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:04,838
Indeed. Tell me about the lucky lady.

367
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,247
- Man.
- Oh. What's her...

368
00:17:06,341 --> 00:17:07,415
- His.
- ...name?

369
00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:09,992
- Michael.
- Michelle. Such a lovely name.

370
00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:11,160
And, uh, what does she...

371
00:17:11,254 --> 00:17:12,328
- He.
- ...do?

372
00:17:12,347 --> 00:17:13,571
Well, that's just it, sir.

373
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:15,498
He's the CEO of a major company.

374
00:17:15,592 --> 00:17:17,258
He's wonderful to me, but I-I'm worried

375
00:17:17,352 --> 00:17:20,245
he might ruthlessly care
about nothing but profit.

376
00:17:20,263 --> 00:17:21,688
Ooh, don't tell me,

377
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:23,172
is it Sheryl Sandberg?

378
00:17:23,192 --> 00:17:24,691
No, it's Michael de Graaf.

379
00:17:24,842 --> 00:17:27,085
Michael de Graaf? Smithers, you fool.

380
00:17:27,178 --> 00:17:28,586
Marry that man right now.

381
00:17:28,605 --> 00:17:31,923
- What?
- So you have to pretend to be gay... who cares?

382
00:17:31,942 --> 00:17:33,274
He's a billionaire.

383
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,285
Come, you must see.

384
00:17:36,112 --> 00:17:37,579
A denim fire?

385
00:17:38,615 --> 00:17:40,540
De Graaf's discovered the secret.

386
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:44,102
Fast fashion is far more
toxic than nuclear power.

387
00:17:44,195 --> 00:17:47,196
- It's worse?
- Nuclear energy gives people warmth and light.

388
00:17:47,257 --> 00:17:50,108
This guy is profiting off
a product nobody needs:

389
00:17:50,201 --> 00:17:52,794
a constant stream of
brand-new skinnied jeans

390
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:55,222
and be-cropped tops.

391
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,850
Look what they've done to Blinky.

392
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,897
Our toxins may have created
the three-eyed fish,

393
00:18:04,048 --> 00:18:05,623
but we never managed to kill it.

394
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,767
You've got yourself one hell of a guy.

395
00:18:07,919 --> 00:18:10,445
Don't let him slip away.

396
00:18:17,687 --> 00:18:19,320
I always thought
a Chernobyl in Springfield

397
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,322
would be caused by my horrible boss,

398
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,541
not my perfect boyfriend.

399
00:18:41,212 --> 00:18:42,894
Something's clogging the engine!

400
00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:45,246
My God, it's loungewear.

401
00:18:45,398 --> 00:18:47,715
Loungewear!

402
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:53,012
Michael, your factory is
literally a toxic workplace.

403
00:18:53,164 --> 00:18:54,422
Don't worry, sweetie.

404
00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:56,832
I've got an amazing
crisis management company.

405
00:18:56,851 --> 00:18:58,743
They're the ones who squelched the story

406
00:18:58,836 --> 00:19:01,771
that Peloton seats are
made from dolphin faces.

407
00:19:04,732 --> 00:19:06,083
If I'm making clothes

408
00:19:06,177 --> 00:19:08,010
for Tommy Target and Wendy Walmart,

409
00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:09,195
they have to be cheap.

410
00:19:09,346 --> 00:19:10,438
Because in fast fashion,

411
00:19:10,532 --> 00:19:12,681
whoever cuts the most corners wins.

412
00:19:13,103 --> 00:19:16,202
I can't believe I
fell in love with a monster.

413
00:19:16,353 --> 00:19:19,931
Really? It seems to me that you
have a pretty consistent type.

414
00:19:19,945 --> 00:19:20,946
Ah.

415
00:19:21,449 --> 00:19:23,358
Exquisite.

416
00:19:23,378 --> 00:19:24,526
Is that acid?

417
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:26,379
No, molten sports bra.

418
00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:28,789
Waylon, you deserve Milan, Paris,

419
00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:31,384
at the very least,
a town with a Chipotle.

420
00:19:31,611 --> 00:19:33,444
I love that you care about what's right,

421
00:19:33,613 --> 00:19:35,722
but, for once, do what's right for you.

422
00:19:35,873 --> 00:19:38,616
Come away with me and be adored.

423
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,769
Adored would be a nice change.

424
00:19:45,808 --> 00:19:48,309
To seeing the best in each other

425
00:19:48,403 --> 00:19:50,385
and ignoring everything else.

426
00:19:50,405 --> 00:19:52,646
I'll drink to that.

427
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,298
Ooh! Idiot!

428
00:19:54,317 --> 00:19:58,060
These pants are made of
cashmere and shredded Picassos.

429
00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:10,097
Buck up, pal.

430
00:20:10,149 --> 00:20:12,166
Beautiful jet-setting gay billionaires

431
00:20:12,318 --> 00:20:14,093
are a dime a dozen in this town.

432
00:20:14,902 --> 00:20:16,578
It's gonna take some
time to get over Michael.

433
00:20:16,672 --> 00:20:19,289
But I did get one thing
out of the relationship.

434
00:20:20,126 --> 00:20:22,343
Someone to be there when I come home,

435
00:20:22,495 --> 00:20:25,012
who will love me unconditionally.

436
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:30,610
You're the one hound I'll never release.

437
00:20:34,231 --> 00:20:37,395
_

438
00:20:49,906 --> 00:20:54,950
The last piece.
You will reveal your secrets to me.

439
00:20:55,044 --> 00:20:57,878
Good Lord!
All this time, it was a hot-air balloon!

440
00:20:58,031 --> 00:20:59,955
Yes, sir,
just like the picture on the box.

441
00:21:00,049 --> 00:21:02,716
There was a picture?
Well, that could have saved me months!

442
00:21:02,793 --> 00:21:04,718
Oh, well. Now I can get back
to crushing unions,

443
00:21:04,813 --> 00:21:06,887
fouling the air and
garbaging the Pacific.

444
00:21:07,598 --> 00:21:08,648
Sir, before you do that,

445
00:21:08,799 --> 00:21:10,483
maybe you'd like to try another puzzle?

446
00:21:10,634 --> 00:21:11,709
This one's a little harder.

447
00:21:11,802 --> 00:21:13,802
It's a hundred pieces, and, uh,

448
00:21:13,896 --> 00:21:15,563
two of the unicorns look pretty similar.

449
00:21:15,715 --> 00:21:17,806
Clear my calendar! Lock the door!

450
00:21:17,826 --> 00:21:19,325
Turn up the Wagner.

451
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:31,780
Shh!

452
00:21:34,519 --> 00:21:37,422
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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