1
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:11,320
Don't rot your brain
on Satan's calculator.

2
00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:14,231
Babies need real toys like these.

3
00:00:22,145 --> 00:00:23,197
It's Princess Maggie.

4
00:00:24,215 --> 00:00:26,461
Princess Maggie's here.

5
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,245
Princess Maggie, what's wrong?

6
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,160
The girl is bored.

7
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,902
Royal court,
entertain my daughter at once.

8
00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:36,079
No princess can frown when
her eardrums are pulsing

9
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,690
with the beat of iambic pentameter.

10
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,476
That's quite a frown.

11
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,173
Out of my way!

12
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:46,263
I've got no shame or regard
for my own well-being.

13
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:48,570
Hey, hey!

14
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,704
You fools have failed the princess.

15
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:55,142
We have no other option.
We must give her...

16
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,492
the special gift.

17
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:18,252
Goodbye, Princess Maggie. Goodbye.

18
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:25,389
ĦAy, caramba!

19
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:30,351
Oh, boy.

20
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:31,613
Homer, your father's

21
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,832
messing up the baby again.

22
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:55,985
_

23
00:01:56,456 --> 00:01:57,486
_

24
00:01:59,623 --> 00:02:02,162
_

25
00:02:15,571 --> 00:02:17,423
_

26
00:02:17,424 --> 00:02:19,961
_

27
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,403
Way ahead of you, pal.

28
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:38,358
My eyes...

29
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:43,533
_

30
00:02:43,938 --> 00:02:45,945
_

31
00:02:45,946 --> 00:02:49,301
_

32
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:57,916
Where did all this traffic come from?

33
00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:00,397
It's like my favorite movie ever,
Cars 3.

34
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,486
I hated Cars 1 and 2.

35
00:03:08,457 --> 00:03:10,451
I'm unsupervised.

36
00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:11,887
Have no fear.

37
00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,932
Safety is here.

38
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:16,457
Traffic, no traffic...
what's the difference?

39
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:19,503
I got nothing to be late
for and no one who cares.

40
00:03:21,419 --> 00:03:25,348
_

41
00:03:32,882 --> 00:03:36,799
Let's take this from Disney+ to HBO Max.

42
00:03:42,196 --> 00:03:43,980
Oh, Marge, you haven't honked

43
00:03:44,111 --> 00:03:45,416
like this since high school.

44
00:03:45,547 --> 00:03:47,462
It's a traffic jam.

45
00:03:53,903 --> 00:03:57,211
My, my, look at all those middle
fingers raised to the Lord.

46
00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:01,432
Wait a minute. That car looks familiar.

47
00:04:01,563 --> 00:04:03,434
Hey, that looks like...

48
00:04:06,350 --> 00:04:08,222
No, don't go there, Moe. Don't go there.

49
00:04:08,352 --> 00:04:09,788
Erase, erase, erase!

50
00:04:12,313 --> 00:04:13,520
_

51
00:04:14,043 --> 00:04:15,170
_

52
00:04:15,745 --> 00:04:16,924
_

53
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,570
_

54
00:04:20,705 --> 00:04:21,965
_

55
00:04:23,993 --> 00:04:25,299
_

56
00:04:25,719 --> 00:04:26,892
Oh, come on.

57
00:04:27,023 --> 00:04:28,720
We put up a sign and everything.

58
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,592
This is so unreal.

59
00:04:30,766 --> 00:04:33,682
Why did all this traffic
suddenly appear on our street?

60
00:04:33,812 --> 00:04:35,901
Wayz told me this was the fastest route.

61
00:04:36,032 --> 00:04:38,295
That's important when
you're selling your organs.

62
00:04:38,382 --> 00:04:39,949
Oh, my God, I've heard of this.

63
00:04:40,036 --> 00:04:41,342
That app routes traffic

64
00:04:41,472 --> 00:04:43,257
through a quiet
residential neighborhood,

65
00:04:43,431 --> 00:04:45,694
turning it into a gridlocked nightmare.

66
00:04:46,956 --> 00:04:49,480
* Damn this traffic jam *

67
00:04:49,654 --> 00:04:52,004
* How I hate to be late,
it hurts my motor... *

68
00:04:52,135 --> 00:04:55,138
Sorry, I met someone in another car.

69
00:04:55,269 --> 00:04:57,836
* Time I get home,
my supper will be cold *

70
00:04:57,967 --> 00:04:59,838
* Damn this traffic jam *

71
00:05:01,579 --> 00:05:03,625
* Well, I left my job
about five o'clock *

72
00:05:03,799 --> 00:05:05,757
- * It took 15 minutes to go three blocks... *
- _

73
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,759
- _
- We need to do something.

74
00:05:07,846 --> 00:05:10,022
This is driving the neighborhood nuts.

75
00:05:10,153 --> 00:05:12,416
Even the guy who's
always in his underwear.

76
00:05:12,547 --> 00:05:14,288
This is more than I put on for Zoom.

77
00:05:14,418 --> 00:05:16,377
Enough with the traffic.

78
00:05:16,507 --> 00:05:18,205
I'm calling a neighborhood meeting.

79
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,556
Neighborhood Meeting.

80
00:05:21,643 --> 00:05:23,171
Neighborhood meeting.

81
00:05:23,195 --> 00:05:27,039
Please rate my app. Please rate my app.

82
00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:29,912
Two stars? My IPO is ruined.

83
00:05:29,999 --> 00:05:32,436
Ruined! Ruined!

84
00:05:35,091 --> 00:05:36,527
We're here to talk about

85
00:05:36,658 --> 00:05:39,791
the terrible problem on our street.

86
00:05:39,878 --> 00:05:41,793
- Finally.
- About time.

87
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:45,797
We assume you're talking
about you, the Simpsons.

88
00:05:45,884 --> 00:05:47,016
Wha...?

89
00:05:47,103 --> 00:05:48,670
I've seen the boy's moons more times

90
00:05:48,844 --> 00:05:50,889
than I've seen the real one,
and I'm an astronomer.

91
00:05:51,063 --> 00:05:52,543
What's wrong with us?

92
00:05:52,674 --> 00:05:55,546
You haven't stopped by
to say hello in 25 years,

93
00:05:55,677 --> 00:05:57,418
and I live next door.

94
00:05:57,548 --> 00:06:00,595
The only good one's the baby,
and she shot a guy.

95
00:06:02,336 --> 00:06:03,989
Wait, are we ignoring
the elephant in the room?

96
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,253
By which I mean the big, fat husband.

97
00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:08,342
Every time Homer wears corduroys,

98
00:06:08,472 --> 00:06:11,388
I just hear those thighs scraping,
scraping, scraping.

99
00:06:11,475 --> 00:06:14,217
Oh, my God. I'm starting to get the idea

100
00:06:14,348 --> 00:06:16,350
you think we're not good neighbors.

101
00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:20,049
You see? You see?

102
00:06:20,223 --> 00:06:21,920
Now, don't worry, my friends.

103
00:06:22,051 --> 00:06:24,532
I'm stepping forward
to fix this traffic.

104
00:06:24,662 --> 00:06:27,404
And by doing so, maybe...
just maybe I'll fix

105
00:06:27,491 --> 00:06:29,885
my reputation with you all.

106
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:34,585
So just say to me what I say
to Tinker Bell: "I believe."

107
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,850
And... off I go.

108
00:06:41,142 --> 00:06:43,358
_

109
00:06:44,639 --> 00:06:47,076
Um... no.

110
00:06:48,077 --> 00:06:49,470
"Identify all traffic lights."

111
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:50,645
Done.

112
00:06:50,732 --> 00:06:52,081
"Identify all yield signs."

113
00:06:52,255 --> 00:06:53,430
Done.

114
00:06:53,517 --> 00:06:55,084
"Identify all the crosswalks."

115
00:06:55,258 --> 00:06:58,609
Oh! Lisa, help me.

116
00:06:58,740 --> 00:06:59,958
Done.

117
00:07:00,089 --> 00:07:01,699
"Identify all fire hydrants."

118
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:02,837
Done.

119
00:07:02,874 --> 00:07:04,180
Jesuits? Done.

120
00:07:04,311 --> 00:07:05,877
20th-century dictators?

121
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,358
Uh, overrated fiction?

122
00:07:08,587 --> 00:07:11,013
Hyperintelligent cartoon characters?

123
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,884
Vegan nut milks?

124
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,973
Future criminals?

125
00:07:15,147 --> 00:07:17,062
Aah! New England doorways!

126
00:07:17,193 --> 00:07:19,413
Oh, forget this. I'm calling instead.

127
00:07:19,587 --> 00:07:21,632
You've reached Wayz customer service.

128
00:07:21,763 --> 00:07:25,549
You have 5,700 callers ahead of you.

129
00:07:25,636 --> 00:07:28,944
Now, please enjoy the frustrated
noises of other callers on hold.

130
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,556
I'm gonna blow my brains out.

131
00:07:36,097 --> 00:07:37,126
You again?

132
00:07:38,912 --> 00:07:41,783
Can it be her, after all these years?

133
00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:45,352
The woman I thought was the
one stuck behind my car?

134
00:07:49,138 --> 00:07:52,272
* Mmm, mmm *

135
00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:58,582
* Mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm... *

136
00:08:00,732 --> 00:08:02,369
Hi, Moe. I missed you.

137
00:08:02,499 --> 00:08:04,240
I never should've left.

138
00:08:04,371 --> 00:08:07,330
Maya. The longest,
best relationship of my life.

139
00:08:07,461 --> 00:08:10,290
That was a great six days.

140
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,641
You're a good kisser.

141
00:08:13,771 --> 00:08:16,165
Yeah. I practice by siphoning gas

142
00:08:16,252 --> 00:08:18,123
out of other people's tanks.

143
00:08:18,254 --> 00:08:21,301
So, is there a knob or an
"open sesame" type deal or what?

144
00:08:21,388 --> 00:08:23,172
My house is over there.

145
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,303
Wha...?

146
00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:31,659
Every day since you left me,
I've written you a letter.

147
00:08:33,574 --> 00:08:35,583
Really wish I had gotten your address.

148
00:08:42,409 --> 00:08:44,193
So, how you been, Maya?

149
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,500
Well, I finally got my PhD.

150
00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:48,371
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

151
00:08:48,502 --> 00:08:49,981
You taking medicine for that or what?

152
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,635
Oh, Moe.

153
00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:54,203
It's nice to laugh again. How are you?

154
00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:55,987
Oh, I-I'm doing great.

155
00:08:56,074 --> 00:08:58,163
Yeah, the factory closed,
so there's lots of new drunks.

156
00:08:58,294 --> 00:09:00,209
And, uh, oh, the bathroom possum

157
00:09:00,296 --> 00:09:02,559
is getting real good at
handing out them combs.

158
00:09:07,888 --> 00:09:10,611
Who am I kidding?
My life is a wreck, Maya.

159
00:09:10,741 --> 00:09:13,570
The face recognition software
on my phone says, "Yuck."

160
00:09:13,657 --> 00:09:16,443
My playlist only has breakup songs.

161
00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:18,619
It's rough, I'm telling you, yeah.

162
00:09:18,749 --> 00:09:21,752
I miss you, Moses Marie Szyslak.

163
00:09:21,926 --> 00:09:24,102
Oh, no, no, no.
Please don't give me that look.

164
00:09:24,276 --> 00:09:26,931
I can't go through it again, Maya.
I can't.

165
00:09:27,062 --> 00:09:29,804
Ah, just look at you walking
toward me, coming closer,

166
00:09:29,891 --> 00:09:31,762
with those big green eyes of yours

167
00:09:31,893 --> 00:09:33,373
and the great-smelling hair,

168
00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:36,245
skin smoother than American cheese.

169
00:09:39,657 --> 00:09:40,857
_

170
00:09:40,858 --> 00:09:43,383
But I want a drink now.

171
00:09:49,127 --> 00:09:52,783
Oh, I wish this moment could
last forever, like, uh...

172
00:09:52,914 --> 00:09:55,656
uh, I don't know, uh,
Henry Winkler's career.

173
00:09:55,786 --> 00:09:57,658
Boy, that guy never jumped the shark.

174
00:09:57,788 --> 00:09:59,790
Not even when he jumped the shark.

175
00:09:59,964 --> 00:10:03,054
Just so I know, have you had
another girlfriend since me?

176
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,056
Uh, not really, no.

177
00:10:05,143 --> 00:10:06,493
Uh, no one could match you.

178
00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:09,017
I mean,
I have been catfished a few times.

179
00:10:09,147 --> 00:10:10,584
Hey, Moe.

180
00:10:10,714 --> 00:10:13,021
It's us, "Online Gloria."

181
00:10:13,151 --> 00:10:15,284
I'll kill you! Also, I love you.

182
00:10:18,069 --> 00:10:20,463
Oh, Moe, you poor guy.

183
00:10:21,508 --> 00:10:23,727
Oh, everything is perfect.

184
00:10:23,814 --> 00:10:27,252
Which it always is until I say,
"I love you."

185
00:10:29,864 --> 00:10:31,779
I love you.

186
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,963
_

187
00:10:35,174 --> 00:10:37,194
_

188
00:10:37,741 --> 00:10:39,874
I love you.
Will you marry me?

189
00:10:44,313 --> 00:10:46,228
_

190
00:10:46,315 --> 00:10:47,534
To hell with women.

191
00:10:47,664 --> 00:10:49,579
I love you, New York.

192
00:10:51,407 --> 00:10:53,540
Help me. Spider-Man!

193
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,723
Professor, can you get
the traffic off our street?

194
00:11:02,853 --> 00:11:04,376
I'll give you anything except for money

195
00:11:04,507 --> 00:11:05,900
or credit for what you did.

196
00:11:05,987 --> 00:11:09,425
The only way to defeat
a global data behemoth

197
00:11:09,556 --> 00:11:11,993
is to get into the source code.

198
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:14,996
Just look what I did here on, uh...
on the Wikipedia.

199
00:11:18,652 --> 00:11:21,176
Welcome to Wayz.

200
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:24,222
We figure out the fastest route
to get you where you want to go.

201
00:11:24,353 --> 00:11:26,703
Our secret? Always collecting data.

202
00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:28,836
But we would never misuse it.

203
00:11:28,966 --> 00:11:30,402
Who do you think we are, Google?

204
00:11:30,533 --> 00:11:32,143
Disclaimer: We're owned by Google.

205
00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:33,971
I've got the answer. What if

206
00:11:34,102 --> 00:11:36,757
we made your street...

207
00:11:36,887 --> 00:11:38,236
...not exist?

208
00:11:38,410 --> 00:11:40,151
Well, where would we live?

209
00:11:40,238 --> 00:11:41,979
Well, that's quite silly.

210
00:11:42,110 --> 00:11:45,026
It would, of course,
still exist in real life,

211
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,768
but I could make it
disappear from the database.

212
00:11:49,813 --> 00:11:51,554
All right, let us see here.

213
00:11:51,685 --> 00:11:53,774
Uh, keystrokes, keystrokes, escape key,

214
00:11:53,904 --> 00:11:56,907
both colon and semicolon,
backslash, backslash,

215
00:11:57,038 --> 00:12:00,581
ampersand...

216
00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:03,348
we come to a new day on
"no such street."

217
00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:13,271
Never again will we be afraid of cars.

218
00:12:13,445 --> 00:12:16,013
Get thee out of my way, English!

219
00:12:16,144 --> 00:12:19,190
It's time to play in the streets!

220
00:12:20,191 --> 00:12:21,628
Haw-haw!

221
00:12:28,908 --> 00:12:31,115
Climate change is real.

222
00:12:35,816 --> 00:12:37,600
They know I did this. They're making

223
00:12:37,731 --> 00:12:40,037
eye contact with me. Eye contact.

224
00:12:40,168 --> 00:12:42,736
Even the guy with the
boat in his driveway.

225
00:12:42,910 --> 00:12:44,999
Hey, hey, Homer,
want to come on my boat with me?

226
00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:47,436
- In the water?
- Eh, we'll see.

227
00:12:47,523 --> 00:12:48,537
Uh, one step at a time.

228
00:12:48,611 --> 00:12:50,395
I will never get tired of this.

229
00:12:50,526 --> 00:12:52,833
Never. Never, ever.

230
00:12:53,877 --> 00:12:56,097
So, what do you feel like doing?

231
00:12:56,271 --> 00:12:58,447
I don't know, I... I feel like singing.

232
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,015
* You're bringing me sunshine *

233
00:13:01,102 --> 00:13:02,886
* Moe *

234
00:13:03,017 --> 00:13:05,410
* It's like vodka with fresh lime *

235
00:13:05,541 --> 00:13:07,543
* Let it flow *

236
00:13:07,717 --> 00:13:09,850
* I'm having a fun time *

237
00:13:09,980 --> 00:13:11,895
* Whoa *

238
00:13:12,026 --> 00:13:14,071
* Serving up red wine *

239
00:13:14,202 --> 00:13:15,986
* Pinot *

240
00:13:16,117 --> 00:13:17,901
* I drink more than I should *

241
00:13:18,032 --> 00:13:20,251
* Don't it, don't it,
don't it, don't it *

242
00:13:20,338 --> 00:13:22,123
* Don't it, don't it feel good. *

243
00:13:23,472 --> 00:13:25,561
Hey, are you guys an item again?

244
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,216
Well, maybe, maybe.

245
00:13:28,346 --> 00:13:29,783
We definitely are.

246
00:13:29,913 --> 00:13:31,785
He has a toothbrush at my place.

247
00:13:31,915 --> 00:13:33,743
Yeah, but, yeah, it's a rental.

248
00:13:33,874 --> 00:13:36,528
Moe's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

249
00:13:36,659 --> 00:13:38,922
And this time, it's gonna last.

250
00:13:39,053 --> 00:13:40,924
Way to go, Moe. Three cheers.

251
00:13:41,098 --> 00:13:42,491
Hip, hip, hooray!

252
00:13:42,665 --> 00:13:44,928
Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip...

253
00:13:45,059 --> 00:13:47,365
Homer, come in the alley with me.

254
00:13:47,622 --> 00:13:50,151
My doctor warned me not
to cut off a "hip, hip, hooray."

255
00:13:52,327 --> 00:13:54,068
Look, Maya left me once.

256
00:13:54,155 --> 00:13:55,896
I just know she's gonna leave me again.

257
00:13:56,026 --> 00:13:57,628
This-this is a disaster.

258
00:13:57,702 --> 00:14:00,401
You're the only guy here who
knows how to hold on to a woman.

259
00:14:00,463 --> 00:14:03,164
What is your secret?
How do you keep Midge?

260
00:14:03,338 --> 00:14:05,253
Well, it's, uh... it's, um...

261
00:14:05,383 --> 00:14:06,733
Hmm.

262
00:14:06,863 --> 00:14:08,517
It helps if you get them pregnant.

263
00:14:08,604 --> 00:14:11,259
Please, I need some actual,
real advice here.

264
00:14:11,389 --> 00:14:13,000
Yeah, I better call Midge.

265
00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:14,479
Hello.

266
00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:16,090
Honey, I'm here in the alley with Moe.

267
00:14:16,177 --> 00:14:17,744
The only woman who ever
loved him came back,

268
00:14:17,918 --> 00:14:19,484
and he's afraid she's
gonna leave him again.

269
00:14:19,615 --> 00:14:20,747
What should he do?

270
00:14:20,921 --> 00:14:22,531
Hand him the phone.

271
00:14:22,705 --> 00:14:24,881
Moe, trust love.

272
00:14:24,968 --> 00:14:26,187
Gotcha.

273
00:14:26,361 --> 00:14:27,449
Your wife's an idiot.

274
00:14:27,536 --> 00:14:29,146
Another tray of doughnuts.

275
00:14:29,277 --> 00:14:30,974
This time from that family over there.

276
00:14:31,148 --> 00:14:33,498
Geez, I can't take all this adulation.

277
00:14:33,629 --> 00:14:35,762
This must be what drove
Randy Quaid crazy.

278
00:14:35,849 --> 00:14:37,328
Mr. Simpson, will you throw out

279
00:14:37,415 --> 00:14:39,156
the first pitch at my
Little League game?

280
00:14:39,287 --> 00:14:41,419
Want to have coffee on my
boat in the parking lot?

281
00:14:41,593 --> 00:14:42,986
Do you ever take it in the water?

282
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,292
Not yet.

283
00:14:44,422 --> 00:14:46,207
Please, I'm just here to eat.

284
00:14:46,381 --> 00:14:47,991
Geez, you were mad they didn't like you,

285
00:14:48,122 --> 00:14:49,993
and now you're mad they like you.

286
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,474
I just want to be left
alone with my to-do list.

287
00:14:52,561 --> 00:14:53,997
Excuse me.

288
00:14:54,128 --> 00:14:55,956
Will you be godfather to my baby?

289
00:14:56,086 --> 00:14:57,305
Let me see it.

290
00:14:57,435 --> 00:14:59,350
Ugh. Pass.

291
00:14:59,437 --> 00:15:02,005
Okay, Moe. I'll be back in 20 minutes.

292
00:15:02,179 --> 00:15:03,703
I'm just getting some stuff for dinner.

293
00:15:03,790 --> 00:15:05,574
- Love you.
- Mwah.

294
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,489
Love you, too.

295
00:15:07,576 --> 00:15:10,057
Moe. Oh, Moe.

296
00:15:10,144 --> 00:15:12,450
Huh?

297
00:15:12,581 --> 00:15:14,539
Look at you. Look at us.

298
00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:16,672
She's not gonna come back.

299
00:15:16,803 --> 00:15:19,153
- They never come back.
- Oh, yeah?

300
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,329
Well, this time,
I'm not gonna listen to mirrors

301
00:15:21,459 --> 00:15:22,896
or mud puddles

302
00:15:23,026 --> 00:15:25,376
or my upside-down face in a spoon.

303
00:15:25,463 --> 00:15:27,509
This time, I'm gonna believe.

304
00:15:27,596 --> 00:15:29,380
Oh, no, you're not.

305
00:15:30,642 --> 00:15:32,383
No one could love you.

306
00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,081
Stop it, stop it, stop it!

307
00:15:34,211 --> 00:15:35,735
What does it take to
get a beer around here?

308
00:15:35,822 --> 00:15:37,040
Shut up!

309
00:15:37,171 --> 00:15:39,260
Shut up? I would stop coming here

310
00:15:39,434 --> 00:15:41,349
if you weren't the only
place in stumbling distance.

311
00:15:41,479 --> 00:15:43,046
You are not real.

312
00:15:43,133 --> 00:15:44,961
You're just that nagging
voice of self-doubt

313
00:15:45,048 --> 00:15:46,571
that lives in my head.

314
00:15:46,702 --> 00:15:48,791
That's right. Easy in, easy out.

315
00:15:48,922 --> 00:15:50,445
Well, this time, I'm gonna stop you

316
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,534
before you wreck my life.

317
00:15:55,102 --> 00:15:57,800
Now you're a loser with
seven years bad luck.

318
00:16:01,238 --> 00:16:03,240
* No one likes you *

319
00:16:03,371 --> 00:16:05,286
* You're the worst *

320
00:16:05,373 --> 00:16:08,419
* We'd all be happy if
your head just burst *

321
00:16:08,506 --> 00:16:11,683
* The world could
not hate you more *

322
00:16:11,814 --> 00:16:16,732
* You lousy, oozing canker sore *

323
00:16:16,863 --> 00:16:18,865
I guess what we're trying to say is...

324
00:16:19,039 --> 00:16:22,390
* You'll die alone. *

325
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:23,695
You're right.

326
00:16:23,826 --> 00:16:25,088
You beautiful bastards are right.

327
00:16:29,492 --> 00:16:30,790
- Mm-hmm.
- Ah, yeah.

328
00:16:34,358 --> 00:16:36,099
Huh? What the...?

329
00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:38,449
Moe? You're hiding here?

330
00:16:38,536 --> 00:16:41,017
Yeah. Bart's treehouse is the one place

331
00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:42,845
no one will look for me.

332
00:16:42,976 --> 00:16:44,412
Plus, there are no girls allowed,

333
00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:46,718
which, uh, helps.

334
00:16:46,849 --> 00:16:48,677
Moe's going through a tough time, son.

335
00:16:48,764 --> 00:16:49,983
Just play around him.

336
00:16:50,113 --> 00:16:51,767
We'll just pretend he's a dead,
rotting alien.

337
00:16:51,898 --> 00:16:53,116
Thank you, son.

338
00:16:57,773 --> 00:16:59,775
The alien's alive!

339
00:16:59,906 --> 00:17:01,777
- And it has feelings.
- Kill him!

340
00:17:11,043 --> 00:17:12,867
I'm sorry, no breakfast

341
00:17:12,937 --> 00:17:15,051
until you get Moe out of the treehouse.

342
00:17:16,723 --> 00:17:19,055
And I'll keep your bacon
safe while you're gone.

343
00:17:20,796 --> 00:17:23,146
Thank God I have my pocket bacon.

344
00:17:24,713 --> 00:17:27,759
Moe, you can't stay here anymore.

345
00:17:27,890 --> 00:17:30,153
Sure, I can.
Uh, you want some eggs with that?

346
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,938
I got 'em out of that nest over there.

347
00:17:32,068 --> 00:17:33,374
Just one.

348
00:17:33,548 --> 00:17:35,289
I don't want to be rude.

349
00:17:35,376 --> 00:17:37,508
Listen, Moe, every once in a while,

350
00:17:37,595 --> 00:17:40,947
a beautiful woman falls in love
with a homely guy like us.

351
00:17:41,034 --> 00:17:42,687
You got to make the most of it.

352
00:17:42,818 --> 00:17:46,039
If Kevin James can find happiness,
why can't you?

353
00:17:46,169 --> 00:17:48,345
And he was always wearing shorts.

354
00:17:48,476 --> 00:17:50,957
You know, after all these years,
I dated all these women,

355
00:17:51,131 --> 00:17:53,611
and it always just goes
back to square one.

356
00:17:53,742 --> 00:17:55,613
Lonely old Moe.

357
00:17:55,744 --> 00:17:57,485
Well, there is a way around that.

358
00:17:57,615 --> 00:17:58,965
You could propose.

359
00:17:59,095 --> 00:18:00,923
Wha...?

360
00:18:01,054 --> 00:18:03,752
What are you proposing I propose?

361
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,307
I mean the big "M."

362
00:18:06,337 --> 00:18:08,209
- Murder-suicide?
- No.

363
00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:10,733
- Marriage.
- Marriage? Whoa.

364
00:18:10,864 --> 00:18:12,517
You mean I could have
the thing you're always

365
00:18:12,648 --> 00:18:14,694
coming into my bar and moaning about?

366
00:18:16,783 --> 00:18:18,349
You know what? She's worth it.

367
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,134
I'll give it a shot.

368
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,791
Okay. This is as far as we go.

369
00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:26,662
Yeah, yeah, okay.

370
00:18:26,836 --> 00:18:28,229
Let me just straighten myself up.

371
00:18:45,463 --> 00:18:48,205
You'd better speak fast,
or for the second time,

372
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,033
you're gonna lose the first good thing

373
00:18:50,207 --> 00:18:51,687
that's ever happened to you.

374
00:18:51,861 --> 00:18:53,602
I'm so sorry. You're great, so great,

375
00:18:53,689 --> 00:18:55,300
and all I've been is afraid.

376
00:18:58,041 --> 00:19:00,478
But all I got to do
is look in your eyes.

377
00:19:00,652 --> 00:19:02,567
Baby, I love you so much.

378
00:19:02,698 --> 00:19:05,222
You stick with me,
you'll get everything you ever wanted.

379
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,050
I will never doubt you again.

380
00:19:07,181 --> 00:19:08,617
You can control the remote.

381
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,924
You can pick all our vacations.

382
00:19:11,054 --> 00:19:13,535
And because I know
the ladies like it this way,

383
00:19:13,622 --> 00:19:16,233
I will leave the toilet seat on.

384
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,062
Maya, will you marry me?

385
00:19:23,719 --> 00:19:25,155
Forget it, loser.

386
00:19:25,286 --> 00:19:27,418
Gorillas like us don't get the girl.

387
00:19:27,505 --> 00:19:30,552
We're lucky if our cage
gets hosed down once a week.

388
00:19:30,639 --> 00:19:32,075
Yes.

389
00:19:32,249 --> 00:19:34,034
I knew it! That's it.

390
00:19:34,164 --> 00:19:35,644
I'm never getting up again.

391
00:19:35,818 --> 00:19:38,429
Staying here, on the ground.

392
00:19:38,516 --> 00:19:40,388
Wait, you-you said yes.

393
00:19:40,518 --> 00:19:42,869
Yes, Moe. Yes.

394
00:19:47,656 --> 00:19:51,878
* Memories *

395
00:19:51,965 --> 00:19:56,752
* Light the corners of my mind *

396
00:20:00,190 --> 00:20:02,671
* Misty, watercolored *

397
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:07,197
* Memories *

398
00:20:07,328 --> 00:20:12,028
* Of the way we were. *

399
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,466
Good song, but, uh, the movie is crap.

400
00:20:21,908 --> 00:20:22,996
What is it, Mosie?

401
00:20:23,126 --> 00:20:24,649
Oh, it's just, uh...

402
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:26,260
I ain't never been able to use this...

403
00:20:26,347 --> 00:20:27,652
until now.

404
00:20:27,946 --> 00:20:29,253
_

405
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:31,569
Aw.

406
00:20:31,743 --> 00:20:34,485
Here you go, my good man.

407
00:20:34,572 --> 00:20:37,053
Eh, this expired-a ten years ago.

408
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,707
Ah, damn it!

409
00:20:44,121 --> 00:20:46,367
"Identify all the existentialists."

410
00:20:47,498 --> 00:20:49,152
Celebrity chefs.

411
00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:52,808
Very soft minerals.

412
00:20:52,939 --> 00:20:55,071
Bebop jazz musicians. Yes!

413
00:20:56,943 --> 00:20:58,596
Tropical birds.

414
00:21:00,163 --> 00:21:01,948
Chess grand masters?

415
00:21:03,297 --> 00:21:04,820
Stone fruits?

416
00:21:06,387 --> 00:21:08,476
American Revolutionary battles?

417
00:21:09,825 --> 00:21:11,740
Nail shank diameters?

418
00:21:12,741 --> 00:21:14,917
Aah! And I'm in. Ha.

419
00:21:15,048 --> 00:21:16,614
Lisa, time for bed.

420
00:21:16,745 --> 00:21:18,312
Oh, man.

421
00:21:24,971 --> 00:21:26,450
Shh!

422
00:21:29,065 --> 00:21:31,934
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com