1
00:00:12,861 --> 00:00:14,631
How did I get here?

2
00:00:21,061 --> 00:00:23,631
Will someone please tell
me how I got here?!

3
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:27,391
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -

4
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:31,154
_

5
00:00:43,872 --> 00:00:47,072
Well, well, well. Ms. Watson.

6
00:00:47,073 --> 00:00:50,260
Doesn't this place look
fine as cream gravy?

7
00:00:50,266 --> 00:00:51,702
Well, that's mighty kind of you, sir.

8
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:53,202
And aren't you lookin' right as rain?

9
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:54,732
Well, thank you, little lady.

10
00:00:54,733 --> 00:00:57,402
Spit-shined my spurs
'specially for the hoedown.

11
00:00:57,403 --> 00:00:59,072
This is my favorite event of year.

12
00:00:59,073 --> 00:01:01,332
Mine too! I look forward
to this magical night

13
00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:03,002
all the school year long.

14
00:01:03,003 --> 00:01:04,851
Might I say you look pretty

15
00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,632
as a prize-winnin' pony,

16
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,503
which leads me to, do you have

17
00:01:08,509 --> 00:01:10,872
yourself a date for this fine night?

18
00:01:10,873 --> 00:01:13,836
Oh, I will be accompanied
to the dance tonight.

19
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,175
Well.

20
00:01:16,426 --> 00:01:17,826
Sounds like you're gonna be

21
00:01:17,832 --> 00:01:20,560
busy as a June bug in, uh...

22
00:01:20,976 --> 00:01:23,737
Well, like a bug festival.

23
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I don't know. I... I love the hoedown.

24
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Gotta go.

25
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:39,602
That headset makes you look like you

26
00:01:39,608 --> 00:01:41,400
should be working in
an Arby's drive-thru.

27
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,370
It's for my performance tonight, Deb.

28
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:44,770
I didn't know you sang.

29
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,470
Uh, yeah, it's actually really easy.

30
00:01:46,471 --> 00:01:48,238
And tonight, one of my students, George,

31
00:01:48,244 --> 00:01:49,785
is bringing his super-famous dad,

32
00:01:49,791 --> 00:01:52,130
97.2's The Howler.

33
00:01:52,131 --> 00:01:53,500
The morning DJ?!

34
00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:56,800
I won a $60 gas card from that guy!

35
00:01:56,801 --> 00:02:00,630
I called in, and he correctly
guessed my cup size.

36
00:02:00,631 --> 00:02:01,970
It was remarkable.

37
00:02:01,971 --> 00:02:03,730
I sent him my demo, and George said,

38
00:02:03,731 --> 00:02:06,670
and I quote, I have "amazing potential."

39
00:02:06,671 --> 00:02:08,700
Really? He's super hard to impress.

40
00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:12,344
He's like the Simon Cowell
of radio, except super fat.

41
00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:14,350
You can hear how fat he is on the radio.

42
00:02:14,356 --> 00:02:16,856
Ew. Why are you dressed like Deb?

43
00:02:16,857 --> 00:02:18,756
I'm in mourning.

44
00:02:18,757 --> 00:02:20,796
Hot Dad and I will never
be together because...

45
00:02:20,797 --> 00:02:22,356
You slammed into his sliding glass door?

46
00:02:22,357 --> 00:02:24,226
Sucked on his face
while teaching sex-ed?

47
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,996
Popped your hymen jumping over a hurdle?

48
00:02:25,997 --> 00:02:29,156
No. Because Hot Dad and
his wife are back together.

49
00:02:29,157 --> 00:02:30,856
I was gonna ask him to the hoedown,

50
00:02:30,857 --> 00:02:32,526
and we would've had our first dance

51
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,526
at the social event of the school year.

52
00:02:34,527 --> 00:02:35,926
But now that's ruined.

53
00:02:35,927 --> 00:02:37,356
I can't eat, I can't sleep,

54
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and I haven't been to
church since Sunday.

55
00:02:39,357 --> 00:02:40,626
It's Monday.

56
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:41,926
Deb, why don't you go slit your wrists

57
00:02:41,927 --> 00:02:44,202
like you're always threatening to?

58
00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:47,096
I'm sorry.

59
00:02:47,097 --> 00:02:49,556
I'm obviously not doing well.

60
00:02:49,557 --> 00:02:51,656
Look, just because Hot
Dad's wife is back in town

61
00:02:51,657 --> 00:02:53,196
doesn't mean they're together again.

62
00:02:53,197 --> 00:02:54,719
Just call a parent-teacher conference

63
00:02:54,725 --> 00:02:56,021
and find out if he's single.

64
00:02:56,027 --> 00:02:57,926
That's what I do with all
my good-looking dads.

65
00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,726
That's a great idea. I gotta go.

66
00:03:00,727 --> 00:03:03,217
And make sure to dress like
your version of a hooker!

67
00:03:04,145 --> 00:03:05,416
She's still gonna look like a

68
00:03:05,422 --> 00:03:07,124
12-year-old boy in Grandma drag.

69
00:03:09,196 --> 00:03:11,126
I don't know why
everyone gets so excited

70
00:03:11,127 --> 00:03:13,211
about this stupid dance every year.

71
00:03:13,217 --> 00:03:14,896
I know. Who decided the hoedown

72
00:03:14,897 --> 00:03:17,146
was the high point of the year?
I hate school dances.

73
00:03:17,152 --> 00:03:18,796
Yeah, they're bullshit.

74
00:03:18,797 --> 00:03:21,056
Prissy, pre-teen girls waiting around

75
00:03:21,057 --> 00:03:22,756
for a bunch of brain-dead
jocks to pick them out

76
00:03:22,757 --> 00:03:25,656
like some stuffed doll they've
won in a carnival game.

77
00:03:25,657 --> 00:03:28,126
You never got asked to a dance, did you?

78
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,860
- No.
- Me neither.

79
00:03:31,196 --> 00:03:32,996
My best friend Christy Zwicky and

80
00:03:32,997 --> 00:03:35,056
I always used to make plans
to have a girls' night instead,

81
00:03:35,057 --> 00:03:36,571
but then she'd blow me off for a guy.

82
00:03:36,577 --> 00:03:38,333
- Damn. What a bitch.
- Yeah.

83
00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:41,045
... the hoedown.

84
00:03:41,051 --> 00:03:42,381
I'm not going this year.

85
00:03:42,387 --> 00:03:44,126
Me neither. You know what?

86
00:03:44,127 --> 00:03:46,056
Let's have a girls' night.
We should hang out.

87
00:03:46,057 --> 00:03:48,130
We can drink wine, paint...

88
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:50,244
Is that what women do together?

89
00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:51,560
Weird.

90
00:03:52,256 --> 00:03:53,874
Okay, I'm in.

91
00:03:54,436 --> 00:03:56,426
So the thing about our
solar system is that

92
00:03:56,427 --> 00:03:58,396
everything revolves around the sun.

93
00:03:58,397 --> 00:03:59,818
If you think about,

94
00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:01,779
I'm kinda like the sun.

95
00:04:01,901 --> 00:04:03,231
Why are you like the sun?

96
00:04:03,379 --> 00:04:06,779
- Because I'm a star.
- So you're over 4 billion years old?

97
00:04:06,785 --> 00:04:08,163
That's strike one, Nora.

98
00:04:08,169 --> 00:04:10,769
Okay, enough science. Who cares?

99
00:04:10,775 --> 00:04:12,182
Tonight, when you take the

100
00:04:12,188 --> 00:04:13,750
stage as my backup dancers,

101
00:04:13,756 --> 00:04:15,196
you will move around me

102
00:04:15,197 --> 00:04:17,479
like the planets revolve around the sun.

103
00:04:17,485 --> 00:04:19,256
However, you will not eclipse me.

104
00:04:19,257 --> 00:04:22,136
We want George's dad, The
Howler, to see Ms. Snap shine.

105
00:04:22,556 --> 00:04:24,056
He will be there tonight, right, George?

106
00:04:24,057 --> 00:04:26,370
I told you a million times. Yes.

107
00:04:26,376 --> 00:04:28,846
Oh, my God.

108
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:32,252
That's crazy. This is really my chance.

109
00:04:32,526 --> 00:04:34,426
Okay, I don't want to put
pressure on you people,

110
00:04:34,427 --> 00:04:37,056
but if this doesn't go well,
I will probably kill myself.

111
00:04:43,196 --> 00:04:45,596
"To the coolest lady with red hair,

112
00:04:45,597 --> 00:04:48,456
"when you're around,
I can't help but stare.

113
00:04:48,457 --> 00:04:51,126
"I hope you will give
this student a chance

114
00:04:51,127 --> 00:04:54,026
"and be my date at
tonight's hoedown dance.

115
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:57,996
"Sincerely, your secret admirer."

116
00:04:59,816 --> 00:05:02,216
Hello, sir. Nice hat.

117
00:05:02,222 --> 00:05:05,422
Thank you. I love a good
pinch front crease.

118
00:05:05,428 --> 00:05:07,540
Feldman?! What are you doing?

119
00:05:07,546 --> 00:05:09,216
I'm driving for Lyft.

120
00:05:09,448 --> 00:05:10,818
But before you freak out,

121
00:05:10,896 --> 00:05:13,426
I'm only driving through
lunch, gym, art,

122
00:05:13,427 --> 00:05:15,356
and my prep period, so technically,

123
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,926
I am not doing anything wrong.

124
00:05:16,927 --> 00:05:18,354
Do you do this all the time?

125
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,460
Only when I'm short on rent.

126
00:05:20,466 --> 00:05:23,387
So yeah, I do it all the time.

127
00:05:23,721 --> 00:05:25,821
And we are off to...

128
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:28,660
Pamper Me Royally Day Spa?

129
00:05:28,666 --> 00:05:29,836
Oh, what?

130
00:05:29,842 --> 00:05:32,430
I want to look good for
the dance, so sue me.

131
00:05:35,623 --> 00:05:37,023
Guess what, gang.

132
00:05:37,029 --> 00:05:39,990
We are gonna take an early recess today.

133
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Doesn't that sound fun?

134
00:05:41,557 --> 00:05:42,626
Off you go.

135
00:05:42,627 --> 00:05:44,496
Come on. Quick like bunnies.

136
00:05:44,497 --> 00:05:45,996
Ms. Bennigan. Hello.

137
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,196
Hot Dad.

138
00:05:47,197 --> 00:05:49,188
Hey there, mister, mister!

139
00:05:49,194 --> 00:05:50,724
You look nice.

140
00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:52,060
This old thing?

141
00:05:52,066 --> 00:05:54,306
I found this at the bottom of a shoebox.

142
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,885
A shoebox?

143
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,426
Okay.

144
00:05:58,427 --> 00:06:00,596
Well, I'm glad that you called me in.

145
00:06:00,597 --> 00:06:02,250
I've actually been
wanting to talk with you.

146
00:06:02,256 --> 00:06:03,927
- You have?
- As you know,

147
00:06:03,933 --> 00:06:05,690
Blake's mom is back in town,

148
00:06:05,696 --> 00:06:07,826
and we've been talking a lot.

149
00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:10,056
- And we've decided...
- Ugh!

150
00:06:10,057 --> 00:06:11,596
Sorry, I'm late.

151
00:06:11,597 --> 00:06:14,656
Apparently you can't
vape on school grounds.

152
00:06:14,657 --> 00:06:16,397
Hot mess.

153
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,913
And Blake's been making friends in class

154
00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:24,273
despite his age and
drastic size difference.

155
00:06:24,274 --> 00:06:27,013
That's great. But is there a problem?

156
00:06:27,014 --> 00:06:28,343
Well, that depends.

157
00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:29,873
Did you both come here in the same car?

158
00:06:29,874 --> 00:06:31,113
- What?
- Hmm?

159
00:06:31,114 --> 00:06:32,843
I'm kidding.

160
00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:35,273
No. There's no problem.

161
00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:37,873
I'm just having unnecessary conferences

162
00:06:37,874 --> 00:06:40,043
with all the parents, but in the future,

163
00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:41,443
should I call you?

164
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:42,673
Or you?

165
00:06:42,674 --> 00:06:44,473
Or will you be in your house together,

166
00:06:44,474 --> 00:06:47,273
till death do you part, so I
only need to call one of you?

167
00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:50,097
- Um, you can just call me.
- Okay! Great.

168
00:06:50,103 --> 00:06:51,723
'Cause that's what I'm
used to. And I'd hate to

169
00:06:51,729 --> 00:06:54,292
have to break my routine, you
know what I mean, Sharon?

170
00:06:57,288 --> 00:07:00,458
Okay, well, we should get going.

171
00:07:00,459 --> 00:07:01,811
Back to the home you both share?

172
00:07:01,817 --> 00:07:04,084
- I'm sorry, what was that?
- Huh? What?

173
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,220
Nothing. Nothing at all.

174
00:07:06,345 --> 00:07:07,785
- We'll see you tonight.
- Tonight?

175
00:07:07,824 --> 00:07:09,984
Yeah, we're chaperoning
the hoedown together.

176
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:11,190
Of course you are.

177
00:07:11,239 --> 00:07:12,839
Together.

178
00:07:12,988 --> 00:07:15,119
Okay, bye-bye.

179
00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:16,225
Okay.

180
00:07:16,429 --> 00:07:18,989
Oh, do you wanna hit up Burger Squeeze?

181
00:07:18,990 --> 00:07:21,089
All fried apps are
half-price before 3:00 p.m.

182
00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:23,689
and I am jonesing for
an onion ring tower!

183
00:07:27,089 --> 00:07:29,129
Kill me.

184
00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,429
I know we're so excited for the hoedown,

185
00:07:31,430 --> 00:07:33,389
and I'm sure you're all
probably wondering,

186
00:07:33,390 --> 00:07:35,929
who is Ms. Watson taking
to the dance tonight?

187
00:07:35,930 --> 00:07:37,889
We assumed you were going alone.

188
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,989
Don't play with me today, Marco.

189
00:07:39,990 --> 00:07:42,489
Let's just say it's not who I'm taking,

190
00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:44,186
it's what I'm taking.

191
00:07:44,192 --> 00:07:45,421
I'll give you a hint:

192
00:07:45,427 --> 00:07:48,057
I'm sure your stomachs are "churning"

193
00:07:48,058 --> 00:07:50,436
- in anticipation.
- Huh?

194
00:07:51,957 --> 00:07:53,797
Ta-da!

195
00:07:53,798 --> 00:07:55,327
Isn't it a beaut?

196
00:07:55,328 --> 00:07:58,157
Your date's an old-timey toilet plunger?

197
00:07:58,158 --> 00:08:00,357
No, it's called a butter churn.

198
00:08:00,358 --> 00:08:01,827
My ancestors brought it over

199
00:08:01,828 --> 00:08:03,453
a little ship called "The Mayflower."

200
00:08:03,459 --> 00:08:04,959
Ever heard of it?

201
00:08:05,157 --> 00:08:06,527
I almost never take it out

202
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,597
of its climate-controlled storage space,

203
00:08:08,598 --> 00:08:11,427
but I thought that the Fillmore Hoedown

204
00:08:11,428 --> 00:08:14,357
was an event worthy
of such an exception.

205
00:08:14,358 --> 00:08:16,298
So... you're welcome.

206
00:08:16,304 --> 00:08:18,627
Cool. Can I play with it?

207
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,257
Absolutely not.

208
00:08:20,258 --> 00:08:22,427
The acid on your fingers could
deteriorate the patina.

209
00:08:23,517 --> 00:08:25,187
Okay, I can't have you
coughing near this.

210
00:08:25,223 --> 00:08:26,962
You gotta get out of here, Marco.

211
00:08:28,097 --> 00:08:29,427
Hi, Michael.

212
00:08:29,428 --> 00:08:30,927
I'm really excited about tonight.

213
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,257
I was thinking we could watch

214
00:08:32,258 --> 00:08:33,587
"How Stella Got Her Groove Back."

215
00:08:33,593 --> 00:08:35,863
Spoiler alert: she does.

216
00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:37,897
Hello? Deb?

217
00:08:37,898 --> 00:08:40,512
Gets her groove back, Yeah. Totally.

218
00:08:40,518 --> 00:08:41,715
Hi, Dan.

219
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,245
Which one of these boys do you

220
00:08:45,251 --> 00:08:46,897
think is most likely to invite

221
00:08:46,898 --> 00:08:49,651
someone older and more
mature to the dance?

222
00:08:49,657 --> 00:08:51,087
What?

223
00:08:51,093 --> 00:08:52,168
Nothing.

224
00:08:52,174 --> 00:08:53,893
Ooh, you know what else?

225
00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:55,939
We should prank call Christy Zwicky.

226
00:08:56,097 --> 00:08:59,097
Richard. Tobias. Nelson.

227
00:08:59,098 --> 00:09:00,857
How y'all doin'?

228
00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:06,707
Countdown to infamy

229
00:09:06,727 --> 00:09:09,127
in three, two, one...

230
00:09:09,128 --> 00:09:11,257
? Snap outta my life, boy ?

231
00:09:11,258 --> 00:09:13,257
? Snap outta my life ?

232
00:09:13,258 --> 00:09:14,943
? Snap outta my life, boy ?

233
00:09:14,949 --> 00:09:16,679
? Snap outta my life ?

234
00:09:16,685 --> 00:09:18,451
? I asked you for diamonds ?

235
00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:20,035
? I asked you for pearl... ?

236
00:09:20,041 --> 00:09:21,741
Oh, my God, stop.

237
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,400
It's not that hard, people.

238
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,863
Nora, you were off-tempo
the entire time.

239
00:09:25,894 --> 00:09:27,794
I have an ear infection, Ms. Snap.

240
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,192
I can't hear very well.

241
00:09:29,198 --> 00:09:30,550
That's not an excuse.

242
00:09:30,556 --> 00:09:31,788
Mozart was deaf and he wrote a

243
00:09:31,794 --> 00:09:33,021
whole bunch of famous songs.

244
00:09:33,027 --> 00:09:34,928
I think you mean Beethoven.

245
00:09:34,934 --> 00:09:37,764
The dog from the movie?

246
00:09:37,770 --> 00:09:39,157
Don't be an idiot, Nora.

247
00:09:39,158 --> 00:09:40,397
Tony, hit it.

248
00:09:40,398 --> 00:09:42,127
? Snap outta my life, boy ?

249
00:09:42,128 --> 00:09:44,027
? Snap outta my life ?

250
00:09:44,028 --> 00:09:45,557
? I asked you for a fur ?

251
00:09:45,558 --> 00:09:47,697
? I asked you for two furs ?

252
00:09:47,698 --> 00:09:49,257
? You gave me nothing ?

253
00:09:50,634 --> 00:09:51,964
My back!

254
00:09:52,127 --> 00:09:53,467
Not today!

255
00:09:58,657 --> 00:10:01,357
Feldman? What are you doing here?

256
00:10:01,358 --> 00:10:02,849
Who's teaching your class?

257
00:10:02,855 --> 00:10:04,195
They're at gym.

258
00:10:04,297 --> 00:10:06,397
Why are you going to the mall?

259
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:08,397
I thought you said that
place was where kids

260
00:10:08,398 --> 00:10:11,097
with over-protective parents
go to get fingered.

261
00:10:11,098 --> 00:10:13,997
- Forget.
- Huh? Come on, man.

262
00:10:13,998 --> 00:10:15,257
You can tell me.

263
00:10:15,258 --> 00:10:17,027
Lyft cone of silence.

264
00:10:17,028 --> 00:10:18,327
Fine.

265
00:10:18,671 --> 00:10:20,597
I need to buy a dress.

266
00:10:20,948 --> 00:10:22,278
Just drive.

267
00:10:32,027 --> 00:10:33,527
What are you doing?

268
00:10:33,528 --> 00:10:35,997
Mary-Louise, I can't take this anymore.

269
00:10:35,998 --> 00:10:38,057
We both know we want this.

270
00:11:09,744 --> 00:11:10,844
You okay?

271
00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:12,190
No.

272
00:11:12,196 --> 00:11:13,657
I can't go to the hoedown tonight

273
00:11:13,658 --> 00:11:16,397
and see Hot Dad and his
wife together. It'll kill me.

274
00:11:16,398 --> 00:11:18,127
You need to have a threesome with them.

275
00:11:18,128 --> 00:11:19,527
It'll help you understand their love

276
00:11:19,528 --> 00:11:21,627
and allow you to let go
of some of this anxiety.

277
00:11:21,628 --> 00:11:22,997
I'll just end up watching them

278
00:11:22,998 --> 00:11:24,797
make love while I eat onion rings.

279
00:11:27,057 --> 00:11:28,597
You're both idiots.

280
00:11:28,598 --> 00:11:30,266
What you need to do is make him jealous.

281
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:32,597
Find a date for tonight,
put on a really low-cut top,

282
00:11:32,598 --> 00:11:34,257
take a bunch of photos
from a really high angle,

283
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,427
and then post them Instagram

284
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,257
with the hashtag "Best Night Ever."

285
00:11:37,258 --> 00:11:39,627
Yes! I know a ton of hot
guys from Bible camp.

286
00:11:39,628 --> 00:11:41,827
Like Jebediah! He modeled
for Modest Swimwear.

287
00:11:41,828 --> 00:11:44,057
Ooh, or Abraham, if he hasn't succumbed

288
00:11:44,058 --> 00:11:45,957
to the allure of the
gay lifestyle again.

289
00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:55,271
Ms. Watson.

290
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:59,027
Is that a 17th-century butter churn?

291
00:11:59,097 --> 00:12:01,557
With an original dash staff?

292
00:12:01,558 --> 00:12:03,497
Why, yes. Yes, it is.

293
00:12:03,498 --> 00:12:05,497
I can see you're busy

294
00:12:05,498 --> 00:12:08,597
with this handsome piece
of American history.

295
00:12:08,745 --> 00:12:10,408
It's a good thing I didn't ask

296
00:12:10,414 --> 00:12:11,910
you to the dance tonight.

297
00:12:14,057 --> 00:12:15,457
Gotta scoot.

298
00:12:16,327 --> 00:12:18,097
Come on, partners!

299
00:12:18,098 --> 00:12:19,633
Hitch up your horses and

300
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,106
get boots a-stompin'!

301
00:12:21,112 --> 00:12:22,557
Oh, hi, Chelsea,

302
00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:23,984
did you come to learn from this

303
00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:26,597
- relic from our nation's his...
- No. Nobody cares.

304
00:12:26,598 --> 00:12:28,957
George. Where's your dad?

305
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:31,027
He's parking the car and
brought a producer.

306
00:12:34,327 --> 00:12:35,827
What are you doing?

307
00:12:35,828 --> 00:12:37,658
I capturing every detail of the

308
00:12:37,664 --> 00:12:39,613
moment my life changed forever.

309
00:12:39,972 --> 00:12:41,332
Now go rehears with the others.

310
00:12:41,338 --> 00:12:42,938
And make sure Nora's in the back.

311
00:12:43,057 --> 00:12:44,462
The way back.

312
00:12:45,497 --> 00:12:47,757
Oh, what? She's dead
weight and you know it.

313
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:51,732
What are those?

314
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,438
Muscle relaxants, Mom.

315
00:12:53,627 --> 00:12:55,554
Chill out. My back is killing me.

316
00:12:55,573 --> 00:12:56,660
Howdy, gals.

317
00:12:56,801 --> 00:12:58,701
Mary-Louise! Wow.

318
00:12:58,827 --> 00:13:00,857
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.

319
00:13:00,858 --> 00:13:03,097
- Where's your date?
- Oh, I'm meeting him here.

320
00:13:03,098 --> 00:13:04,970
All the guys from church are at

321
00:13:04,976 --> 00:13:07,127
a men's-only retreat in San Francisco.

322
00:13:07,128 --> 00:13:08,997
So my friend, Mary Catherine,

323
00:13:08,998 --> 00:13:12,257
offered to set me up with
a guy from her Bible study.

324
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,248
Mary-Louise!

325
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,957
I'm Jerry! I'm your date!

326
00:13:17,958 --> 00:13:20,153
Oh Mylanta.

327
00:13:25,386 --> 00:13:27,256
I knew I couldn't trust Mary Catherine.

328
00:13:27,257 --> 00:13:28,545
She's 70, and her only job at

329
00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:30,013
church is to light the candles.

330
00:13:30,022 --> 00:13:31,392
What am I gonna do?

331
00:13:31,398 --> 00:13:33,026
If you're lucky, he'll just die.

332
00:13:33,027 --> 00:13:36,486
By golly, Mary Catherine
said you were pretty,

333
00:13:36,579 --> 00:13:39,793
but she didn't tell me you
looked like Doris Day.

334
00:13:39,799 --> 00:13:41,229
Who?

335
00:13:41,282 --> 00:13:42,633
This is Cecelia. Reduce,

336
00:13:42,639 --> 00:13:44,322
re-use, and leave a message.

337
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,626
Hey, girl, just calling to let you know

338
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:51,081
that I'm feeling super sick.

339
00:13:51,087 --> 00:13:53,287
Don't think I'm gonna
make it out tonight.

340
00:13:58,013 --> 00:13:59,422
Damien!

341
00:13:59,428 --> 00:14:00,982
Where's the good razor?!

342
00:14:00,999 --> 00:14:02,399
You seem very nice, Jerry,

343
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,300
but I think Mary Catherine made a goof.

344
00:14:04,306 --> 00:14:05,836
Oh, Ms. Bennigan, hello.

345
00:14:05,899 --> 00:14:07,269
Hey, girlfriend.

346
00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,569
Hello, my friends.

347
00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:11,691
- Who's this?
- I'm her date.

348
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:13,529
Oh.

349
00:14:13,530 --> 00:14:15,229
Well, it's nice to meet you.

350
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:17,499
A younger woman! Good for you.

351
00:14:18,699 --> 00:14:20,629
Jerry and I were just leaving.

352
00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:21,869
Oh, no. No, no, no.

353
00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:23,699
It's so early. I want to hang out.

354
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,029
And I want to hear how you two met.

355
00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:27,299
Does anyone want a beverage?

356
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,099
I brought a little something-something

357
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,829
to give it a kick!

358
00:14:30,830 --> 00:14:32,673
Would you like to see an artifact?

359
00:14:32,679 --> 00:14:34,799
It's a true piece of Americana.

360
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,299
Americana? It's nothing but
a dumb-ass butter churn.

361
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,569
And that tiny hat is stupid.

362
00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:57,806
Are you my secret admir...

363
00:15:01,095 --> 00:15:03,299
Hi, do you happen to be my...

364
00:15:03,656 --> 00:15:04,856
No?

365
00:15:11,229 --> 00:15:13,081
... my life.

366
00:15:14,841 --> 00:15:16,411
Scoot.

367
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,453
So...

368
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:22,529
I hope you didn't
double-park your horse.

369
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,499
No, I always valet my horse.

370
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:25,529
You rode a horse here?

371
00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:27,158
No. We were joking, right?

372
00:15:27,164 --> 00:15:29,893
Oh. Yeah. Yee-haw!

373
00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:33,229
Damn, they don't have any
sugar-free drinks here.

374
00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:34,699
I need my insulin.

375
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,529
- Hold this.
- What?

376
00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:38,956
What are you doing? Oh...

377
00:15:43,156 --> 00:15:44,359
So...

378
00:15:44,875 --> 00:15:46,948
Was it love at first sight?

379
00:15:47,869 --> 00:15:49,329
Gosh, no.

380
00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,969
The love of my life?

381
00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:54,838
I met her when I was
serving in Pyongyang.

382
00:15:57,817 --> 00:15:58,847
Incoming!

383
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,369
Run, Song-Mi!

384
00:16:00,370 --> 00:16:02,699
Don't let 'em get to the water supply!

385
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,229
Get on your feet, freaks!

386
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:07,229
My muscles are relaxed!

387
00:16:07,230 --> 00:16:08,599
Countdown to infamy.

388
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,942
In three, two, one...

389
00:16:11,286 --> 00:16:13,299
? Snap outta my life, boy ?

390
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:14,799
? Snap outta my life ?

391
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,799
- Oh, no.
- ? Snap outta my life, boy ?

392
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,569
? Snap outta my life ?

393
00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,629
? I asked you for diamonds ?

394
00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:22,399
? I asked you for pearls ?

395
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,299
? You gave me nothing ?

396
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:27,229
- ? So get out of my life ?
- Ms. Snap, this is a hoedown!

397
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,229
? Snap outta my life, boy ?

398
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:29,399
? Snap outta my life ?

399
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,369
- ? Snap outta my life, boy ?
- Okay, okay, Chelsea...

400
00:16:32,370 --> 00:16:33,669
Okay, don't touch it!

401
00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:36,469
That's a 17th-century butter churn!

402
00:16:36,470 --> 00:16:39,769
Please get off of it! Get off of it!

403
00:16:39,770 --> 00:16:41,999
Noooo!

404
00:16:46,069 --> 00:16:47,799
George?!

405
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,229
Where's your dad? Where's The Howler?

406
00:16:51,230 --> 00:16:53,379
- Did he see that?
- He walked out.

407
00:16:53,669 --> 00:16:55,469
You ruined my life.

408
00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,888
How many men did we lose?

409
00:16:58,894 --> 00:17:00,224
None, Jerry.

410
00:17:00,399 --> 00:17:01,769
We're not in Korea.

411
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,899
The hell we're not!

412
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:05,499
Come on, let's get you home.

413
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:06,829
I'll call you a Lyft.

414
00:17:11,399 --> 00:17:12,729
Cute couple.

415
00:17:14,769 --> 00:17:17,329
- Feldman?!
- Surge prices, dude!

416
00:17:17,330 --> 00:17:19,799
- I had a lovely time.
- Yup!

417
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:25,129
Wait, is that a Lyft?

418
00:17:26,269 --> 00:17:27,529
Mrs. Adler?

419
00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:28,899
Hi, Corey.

420
00:17:30,699 --> 00:17:31,829
Are you...?

421
00:17:31,830 --> 00:17:33,669
Yeah, I'm sorry I'm late.

422
00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:36,306
My dad made me clean up
my room before I left.

423
00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:38,399
May I have this dance?

424
00:17:42,116 --> 00:17:43,454
What happened?

425
00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:45,235
What are you doing here?

426
00:17:45,241 --> 00:17:46,971
Deb and I were supposed
to have a girls' night

427
00:17:46,972 --> 00:17:48,234
but she got sick, so I decided

428
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,875
to come see how lame this was.

429
00:17:52,536 --> 00:17:55,235
Oh, hell no! I got Zwicki'd?!

430
00:17:56,189 --> 00:17:57,489
Ms. Cannon!

431
00:17:57,490 --> 00:17:59,249
- Come dance with us.
- What?

432
00:17:59,389 --> 00:18:00,729
Come dance with us!

433
00:18:00,994 --> 00:18:03,419
- You sure?
- Yeah, come on!

434
00:18:03,706 --> 00:18:05,183
Okay.

435
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,949
Ms. Watson?

436
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,871
I know I'm not as exciting

437
00:18:09,877 --> 00:18:11,922
as a colonial butter churn,

438
00:18:12,078 --> 00:18:14,119
but will you do me the honor?

439
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,519
Do you know how to do the Virginia Reel?

440
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:17,949
I hope so.

441
00:18:18,253 --> 00:18:20,493
My people came over on "The Mayflower."

442
00:18:27,955 --> 00:18:29,606
Hey, Ms. Bennigan.

443
00:18:29,612 --> 00:18:31,042
I-is Jerry okay?

444
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,728
Yeah. He's fine.

445
00:18:33,502 --> 00:18:34,912
He's not my date.

446
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:36,212
That's what I figured.

447
00:18:36,213 --> 00:18:38,857
But it was nice of you
to let him think that.

448
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,610
Where's Sharon?

449
00:18:40,616 --> 00:18:41,946
She left.

450
00:18:41,952 --> 00:18:43,742
She left in the middle of your date?

451
00:18:43,743 --> 00:18:45,242
It wasn't a date.

452
00:18:45,243 --> 00:18:47,882
That's what I was trying
to tell you this morning.

453
00:18:47,883 --> 00:18:49,482
Sharon and I aren't together.

454
00:18:49,483 --> 00:18:51,342
We're just working on trying

455
00:18:51,343 --> 00:18:52,596
to co-parent Blake.

456
00:18:52,602 --> 00:18:55,332
Oh. Your relationship didn't work out.

457
00:18:55,346 --> 00:18:56,816
That's great!

458
00:18:57,082 --> 00:18:59,399
I-I mean, not great for you,

459
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:01,422
but great for someone like me.

460
00:19:01,963 --> 00:19:04,084
I'm gonna stop talking now.

461
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,465
May I have this dance?

462
00:19:36,835 --> 00:19:39,198
Will someone please tell
me how I got here?!

463
00:19:39,214 --> 00:19:40,814
Hey, sweet-tits.

464
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,647
You passed out last night
before we could do it.

465
00:19:43,648 --> 00:19:46,547
How about a quickie now
before we leave, huh?

466
00:19:46,548 --> 00:19:47,977
- Uh...
- Hey, dude.

467
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,708
Dropped you off here last night.

468
00:19:49,714 --> 00:19:51,847
Figured you might need a
ride to school this morning.

469
00:19:51,848 --> 00:19:53,591
Threesome maybe?

470
00:19:55,883 --> 00:19:57,397
You'll be back.

471
00:19:57,820 --> 00:19:59,758
They always come back.

472
00:20:00,212 --> 00:20:03,768
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -