_
I can't do it.
Press the tip
onto the paper and move your hand
to make a signature.
It's not about a signature.
It's condemning thousands of Americans to torture.
For what?
So we can get our hands on some technology?
You'd rather the Soviet Union get their hands
on "some technology"?
Stupid fool.
It's pointless.
You could take what you want.
We wouldn't be able to stop you.
Why do you need a signature?
Because if you go back on our agreement,
we will need your signature
when we appeal to the American people.
That's blackmail.
That's treason, and I won't do it.
If you won't sign to help your fellow citizens,
maybe you'll sign to help your insipid wife.
You can either put ink to paper
or spend days wiping brain matter from the wall.
Sir.
Sir!
Let her go, you sons of bitches.
I said let her go!
Mamie!
Mamie.
- Get Mattingly. - Yes, sir.
Oh, my birthday party.
So nice of you all to come.
These images were taken last night
by one of our interceptors.
Where was that?
Just outside Topeka, Kansas.
They hit three houses.
We confirmed every residence
reported a missing person the next day.
One of them was a nine-year-old girl.
Shut off the projector.
Shut it off!
_
How many does that make?
How many incursions?
That we've detected...
298 over the last three years.
All these citizens taken,
and we've heard nothing from these bastards.
Not even a goddamn "thank you".
Then maybe this was just a colossal mistake.
Maybe...
we were tricked into the lure of technology and power.
It's, um, too early to make any conclusions, sir.
And now is not the time for snap judgments.
My God!
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -
- What the devil's going on? - We have an intruder.
He showed up on the north lawn, and now he's in the building
and headed this way.
Stop where you are!
Move and I'll shoot.
Step aside, please.
Much obliged.
It's too late to move Providence.
It's almost outside the door.
Then we make our stand right here.
No. I know what this is about.
Stand down.
Mr. President,
I believe you've been expecting me.
My name is Valiant Thor.
Think of me as a liaison.
I'm here to supervise the business at hand...
the processing of what we've harvested.
You mean all the Americans you've kidnapped.
What do you mean, "process"?
The creation of a new species,
neither human nor... us,
but able to survive on this world.
It's easier if I just show you.
Sweet Jesus.
Let's begin the mission at hand.
We promised you technology,
and today we start to make good on that promise.
What in the hell is that?
This is the future.
Go ahead. Touch it.
It won't bite.
It's a goddamn television.
Much better than that.
It's a computing device you can hold in the palm of your hand.
More powerful than the IBM 7090
now taking up an entire room at the Pentagon.
Well, that is impossible.
One day, these devices will connect your world
and usher in an age of peace and harmony
among mankind.
This is what the future holds, gentlemen.
Do you want it or not?
Mamie.
What do you think?
I'm so happy with the way it came out,
I want to start on the East Room tomorrow morning.
- The East Room? - And thanks to me,
adults all across the country
are celebrating their birthdays with parties.
They're not just for kiddos anymore, Mr. Man.
And now they're going to celebrate Halloween.
I want grown-ups to join in the fun, dress up,
that sort of thing.
Make Halloween less juvenile.
My legacy will surpass Eleanor Roosevelt's,
that old basset hound.
They all love her, not me.
Well, that's about to change forever.
Uh, given what's happening,
I don't think that's such a good idea right now, my love.
Don't be such a Gloomy Gus.
_
What the...
No! No, no, help me!
Who are you people?
What the hell is going on here?
The business at hand.
Ladies, you can go about your work, please.
They weren't prepared for your visit,
which wasn't supposed to happen for another few weeks.
I heard screams.
I told maintenance to double-check those air ducts.
They're delivering more sound than air.
What is happening to that man?
Oh, he's a respiratory experiment.
What is this place?
Where did these tunnels come from?
As I understand it,
they've been here for several years.
I was told they were built in the event
of a nuclear exchange.
You didn't know that?
If I did, I wouldn't be asking the question.
Might want to keep a closer eye on that military budget...
Mr. President.
We decided that this was the perfect place
to conduct our experiments.
It works well, but it's starting
to get a little bit overcrowded.
As you can see, these specimens
are in the early stages of development.
Creating a perfect hybrid
is proving to be quite a task.
Could take decades.
Two very different species.
How different? I've...
never seen one of them.
That is by design.
They're convinced that if you saw their true form,
you might try to call all of this off.
I might just do that anyway.
I wouldn't advise it.
I know.
They'll go to the Russians.
That's what they say, but...
in truth, Soviet technology is decades behind yours
and my makers want nothing to do with it.
If you try to back out now, they won't go to the Russians.
They'll take what they want by force.
Trust me, you don't want that.
That girl.
Where is she from?
I believe she was harvested in Kansas.
Topeka, Kansas.
Caroline Gibbons.
I'm going to hold a lunch for all the staffers' wives.
They can bring their children, and we'll have
trick-or-treating and bobbing for apples.
Have you heard anything that I've said?
Human experimentation is not a fit subject
for the breakfast table.
Doesn't it bother you that this is happening
under our house?
American citizens being experimented on
underneath the White House.
They fixed the sound problem, didn't they?
Just because we can't hear them screaming
doesn't mean they're not suffering.
I'm beginning to understand how they feel.
Say that again?
I'm in agony over these moody spells of yours.
They bring a dark cloud over this house.
If you're so upset about their being here,
- give them somewhere else to go. - What do you mean?
Val mentioned they were getting crowded down there.
Val?
I ran into Mr. Thor this morning.
He promised to try my fudge, insisted I call him Val.
So what about that place in Nevada
I overheard you whispering about at bridge last month?
Darling, half the time you think I don't hear,
but I do.
I know more state secrets than J. Edgar Hoover.
Nevada.
Didn't Twining want a place to test planes?
So give them that.
Or give them all of Nevada.
Do you remember during the campaign when we had to stop
in that godforsaken state?
It was so beastly hot and dry there,
I nearly fainted from the temperature.
This executive order hereby withdraws 38,000 acres
located 80 miles north of Las Vegas
from public use.
The land will be set aside...
for the construction of a top secret biological testing
and information exchange facility.
Its current AEC designation...
is Area 51.
Thank you, Mr. President.
Gentlemen...
what has taken place here today never actually took place.
Aside from the men in this room,
no one will ever know
for as long as this republic stands.
Is that understood?
Is it?
Mary Geneva Eisenhower!
No, it wasn't a nightmare.
It was an absolute dream.
Oh.
I don't mind admitting it.
Val sure knows his way around the female anatomy.
I haven't felt this relaxed in years.
You... how could you do this?
Let's not blow things out of proportion, Ike.
It's bad enough that you passed out.
Blow it out of proportion?
You were with him in our bed.
You said it yourself, he's not flesh and blood.
So it's really no different than the time you caught me
in the tub with my personal massager.
He is a visiting dignitary,
so you can say I gave my body for the national cause.
I can't even look at you anymore.
At least when you were possessed,
I knew who I was talking to.
Well, now you know how I felt during the war.
I was stuck here leading scrap metal drives
while you were carrying on with that trollop in army HQ.
By the way...
he loved my fudge.
Eisenhower did it.
The president, he made a deal with them.
No, people are being taken!
They're being taken up into... to flying saucers.
They're turning them into monsters.
_
Well...
it's every bit as bad as Hoover said, sir.
How'd he get his hands on this?
He won't tell me.
But I know he has files on anyone
that he suspects of being a commie sympathizer.
Which means the whole damn town.
We should just burn Hollywood to the goddamn ground.
And Jack Kennedy can't keep his prick, his pants,
or his pretty little mouth shut.
Does he know she's saying all this?
Well, if he does know and he doesn't care,
that's a whole other problem, sir.
Hmm.
God knows how many people
that little tart's told about this.
She's an actress, Dick.
She takes pills and she drinks too much.
No one's taking her seriously.
Sir, all it takes is one reporter asking questions
and we are six ways to Sunday without a paddle.
And my dreams of running for president again?
Well, that dream dies.
But if we come at 'em fast and shut 'em down hard,
we can plug one hole
and send a message to the other.
You know, if you were anyone else, Dick,
I'd have to ask what you're suggesting.
Well, you said it yourself, sir.
She drinks. She's on pills.
No one would suspect anything.
I am not sanctioning murder.
Oh, I wasn't asking for your sanction, sir.
I was, um, merely floating the idea.
Evelyn, it's Marilyn. Can I, uh, talk to Jack?
I'm sorry, Ms. Monroe, the best I can do
is tell him you called.
# Ah, Mr. Cupid #
# Just don't bother with me #
Hello?
Who's there?
Where are you, Jack?
_
Yes?
I have Richard Nixon on the line, sir.
Put him through.
- Dick. - Yes, I'm, um...
I'm calling to send my...
my condolences, Mr. President.
Lovely gal.
It's a crying shame.
Heh, I bet that's one dish
you're gonna miss eating off of.
Dick, if you...
if you had something to do with this...
Me?
A Quaker?
Well, I am offended, Jack.
Um, I was a big fan of that young lady.
"Some Like it Hot", ooh.
I gotta tell you, I'd have liked it hot or cold.
You're drunk. I'm hanging up.
Before you do, sir,
let me set your mind at ease.
I'm sure you heard about all the, uh...
the things she was saying on the set of that film,
the one she got, uh, fired from?
I've heard the rumors.
Turns out, she knew about a lot of stuff
she had no business knowing,
and, well, God knows where she heard it all.
A word of advice, sir.
Whatever strumpets, uh,
you decide to, uh, fornicate with in the future,
I'd check the pillow talk.
There's a lot of crazy people out there.
You gotta watch your back.
_
Are we still not on speaking terms, sir?
If we were, I'd tell you to go fuck yourself.
Lyndon.
Well, I know one thing I didn't before.
What's that?
You didn't bring me out here for the view.
This place is uglier than my granddad's toenails.
Mr. President.
I'm Valiant Thor.
Well, bless your heart.
Course you are.
And I'm Calamity Jane.
Ah, I like your sense of humor, sir.
You might need it.
Please, this way.
Are you ready to learn how the world works,
Mr. President?
Pretty good idea how the world works, sonny.
Of course you do.
As I live and shit.
What in ever-loving Christ is this?
What have I done?
Please. Please.
Please give me something for the pain.
It hurts so much.
It's time.
How is this thing gonna come out of me?
Please.
I don't want to die.
You are no longer going to scream or beg.
You will no longer feel pain.
You are not going to die.
I-I can hear you in my head.
W-what's... what's going on?
To be human is to not understand.
The optimum condition for your race
is to surrender to that innocence.
Why can't I move?
No!
Oh, my God.
No, oh, my God.
Please, I don't want to hear it.
Can you make it so I can't hear the sound?
It is nearly over.
You are joining a heroic community.
You are an ambassador
attempting to bring two species together.
Your suffering is an honor.
What is that?
Is that...
That's... that's my baby?
That's my baby.
What... oh.
Oh, my God.
Respiratory intact and strong.
Heartbeat is stable.
- Oh, my God. - He's healthy.
This is our closest one yet.
But the physical abnormalities are troubling.
I can help you.
Please, let me see it.
Can I hold it, please?
I think it needs... I think it needs me.
Prepare the tank.
What's happening?
It is nearly over.
You are a strong host.
Be proud.
Lift your head high.
There will be more.
Be calm.
No, no, no!
No. No.
_
Oh, my God.
It's Troy.
Hey.
We thought you were dead.
Are you okay?
I had the baby.
I felt it. I...
was connected to it in my mind, like...
it was a part of me.
And they murdered it.
What?
I was there.
Come on, sit down and tell us everything.
It was, um... it was like...
It was like I was under a spell.
I couldn't move, but I was awake.
And they said it was time.
And...
they didn't say it out loud, though.
I could hear it in my brain.
And then they cut me open
and took the baby out.
There was no pain.
There was no physical pain.
So it didn't hurt at all?
Um, yeah. At first, like a motherfucker.
But, um...
then it was... beautiful.
I had a baby.
We had a baby.
Oh, it's okay.
It's okay.
We never told you guys,
but having kids was always a joke we told at parties.
A joke on the baby, because us as parents is...
um...
but, um, I don't know what happened.
One day, the idea of a family just felt different.
I had spent my whole life thinking
I was never gonna be a dad, and then...
this thing became a part of me.
It came out of me.
And the second I saw it, I didn't care that it was...
whatever it was.
It was... it was mine.
And...
I knew that I would do anything to protect it.
And they slaughtered it.
They slit its throat and they drowned it.
And I couldn't help my baby.
I couldn't help.
What are we gonna do?
We're gonna get the fuck out of here.
That's what we're gonna do, okay?
Not so fast, kiddos.
You need to calm down and be rational.
Accept it.
This is it.
What's that supposed to mean?
"Oh, we're gonna get out of here.
They're evil. They killed my alien baby".
Fuck you, Calico.
Well, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news,
but your delusion of escape is unfounded.
Area 51 has existed long before you all showed up.
And no one has ever escaped.
You are at odds with the almighty
military industrial complex.
You cannot win.
Wait, how many babies have you had since you got here?
Oh, well...
then there's that.
Ever since 1969,
I've given birth to two or three pups a year.
I mean, it's best if you just consider yourself a mongrel.
'Cause your one job...
your gift to progress...
Is to drop a litter on the curb
and move on.
It's okay. After the first few, you stop caring.
No. I'm not gonna be like you.
None of us will.
Do you think I'm cold and heartless?
Well, you're wrong.
No, I've got the system down.
I am adaptable.
I was a nobody.
And now I am an integral link in the chain
of celestial evolution.
Don't tell me dreams don't come true.
How have you not gone insane in here?
Come with me.
I want to show you one of my special places.
Wouldn't you like to see it?
Oh, come on. It's real special.
You'll like it.
Well, come on. Don't be afraid.
Sometimes when I'm feeling low, I like to come here
and curl my toes into the moon dust
and pay my respects
to old "Eagle" and red, white, and blue.
I just find it so relaxing here.
Ever since I was a child,
I've always loved songs about the moon.
"There's a Moon Out Tonight", "Blue Moon".
This is where I feel safe.
Why are we standing on a set of the moon landing?
Isn't it obvious?
They faked it.
Here, 50 years ago.
Right around the time they abducted me.
I'd work until 1:00 in the morning
before heading upstairs with some john.
And that's where the real work began.
# I guess this is easily done #
I was a bad girl
living in a world that couldn't care
to give a damn about me.
But then one night at the end of my shift,
I saw two classy johns in a booth
trying to look incognito,
but I recognized them straightaway.
It was Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin,
then first men to land on the moon.
Beat it.
The problem was, they had blasted off days before.
I mean, they were supposed to be floating in outer space
at that very second.
Well, good evening, gentlemen.
Well, hello there.
So we're doing rehearsals.
Now, at this point, I mean,
we must have gone through it a hundred times.
Right, right, and the line
that Neil is supposed to say
is, "That's one giant leap for mankind".
And that's it.
Just...
Now, I ain't typically one for words,
- but we are landing on the moon. - Yeah.
And we're beating the goddamn Russians to it.
- That's right. - Now, does that line
sound like it could carry a fart,
much less an event so momentous?
No, it certainly does not.
No, it does not.
Well, Neil, tell her.
All right, well...
So I hear Buzz come in on the radio.
- Yeah. - And to his credit, he says,
"How about, 'That's one small step for man,
one giant leap for mankind'?"
And then nothing.
Complete radio silence until...
The director fucking loses it.
God, he loves the line.
- Total maniac, by the way. - Yeah, Hollywood.
I mean, and we thought NASA was rough.
- Oh! - The astronauts were trained
to protect American secrets during the Cold War,
but in the end, it was my famous heavy pour
that could have brought down an empire.
Okay, wait, then how did you end up here?
They came and they took me.
It happened so fast.
I woke up drugged and knocked up.
I didn't know where I was or what was happening.
I had never been so scared in my whole life.
And unlike you all, I was alone.
Remember, don't come down so fast, Neil.
You're afraid.
You can't know what awaits you.
None of us can.
Wait, seriously?
Stanley Kubrick?
Why would he direct a fake moon landing?
Dicky Nixon was gaga for "Strangelove".
It was his favorite movie.
And some say, afterwards,
Kubrick was given a lifetime contract at Warner Bros.
with no constrictions.
No. I mean, why?
Why fake the moon landing at all?
They already had all this alien tech.
Going to the moon should've been a breeze.
That's exactly the point.
Everyone realized that going to the moon
was gonna be a big old fat waste of time and effort,
so the government and the aliens thought
it would be a nice way to sort of ease us humans
into accepting that big, crazy
technological shit was possible.
I mean, if you start giving people Velcro and computers,
they're gonna start asking questions.
So the astronauts were flying into Hawaii the next morning
to make their gallant return to Earth
right around the time I lost my first baby,
if you could even call it that.
And I have been stuck here ever since.
Well, I'll leave you now to find your own peace.
Thank you for listening.
It's nice to reminisce with someone other than Steve Jobs.
Oh, fuck. Okay.
At least we have each other.
Yeah.
It's beautiful up here.
I guess it is.
On the moon.
Cal.
Hey, I've been looking for you.
You okay?
No, no. I'm not.
What's going on? Did they do something to you?
Some kind of freak-ass experiment?
I think it's time.
- For the baby? - Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, Everything feels different.
- She's kicking. - Mm-hmm.
There's movement.
And there's this... this pressure, and it's, like...
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Do you want me to call someone? They can give you something.
No. No, I'm not ready.
I thought you said you were ready.
No, I'm not ready.
I'm not ready for them to take her.
- Okay. - After what happened to you,
I just...
I want a little more time.
What if I can give that to you?
To us?
How?
Can you walk?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. Come on.
Okay.
Come on. We're almost there.
- We're almost there. - Oh! Oh!
Shh. Hey, shh.
Shh. Be quiet. Be quiet.
- Oh, that one was so bad. - I know. I know.
What do we do?
Do you trust me?
Yeah, baby.
What the fuck, Troy? Why do you have that?
I have to cut the baby out.
What?
- That's your plan? - This is the only way.
That's fucking insane, baby.
I'm sorry, that's the only way.
I know how to deliver this baby.
Our baby.
- We can't let them kill it. - No.
We cannot let them tear our family apart.
Okay, but you can't just cut me open.
- This is crazy. - No.
Everything that happened up until now is crazy,
but this, us finally starting our family,
that is the most sane part of all of this.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
You heard Calico.
They're gonna keep killing our babies
and keep making us have them unless we stop them, okay?
Yeah. Okay, okay.
- So you're gonna cut me open. - Mm-hmm.
Babe, listen to me. You have to try not to scream.
- Okay. Fuck you. - I know. I said try, okay?
I love you.
I love you so much.
You're gonna be okay, all right?
Okay.
- Lay back. - O-okay.
I'm so scared.
I've got you.
Bite down.
Okay.
Shh.
Is she...
She's alive.
Let me see. Let me see.
Oh.
She's beautiful.
We're not gonna let anything happen to you.
Get it off!
No, no, no! Get it off!
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -