CREDITS
Captain's log: the Cerritos is beginning a 12-hour warp,
en route to a planetary survey in the Kontaran system.
With little to do in this vacant stretch of space,
I've approved some much needed R and R for the crew.
I can't believe we all have the day off.
What should we do? Strategema tournament?
Oh, I can't. Dr. T'Ana
invited me to a thing on the holodeck.
I really need to get on her good side.
I can't tell if she likes me
or if she makes that face at everyone.
Oh, okay. Uh, Rutherford?
Hey, sorry, Billups has a new soup recipe he asked me
to try out and, after that, I promised Shaxs
I'd throw some pottery with him.
Jeez, what is this, commander hangout day?
Huh, guess it's just me and you.
I'm "with the captain" today.
- What do you mean? - Oh, she's been bugging me to do
some mother/daughter stuff, and I've been putting it off
forever, and now with this long haul,
she knows I've got no excuse.
All you guys are spending warp with a bridge buddy?
It's not a big deal.
Uh, yes, it is!
Socializing with a commander can be
a huge factor in getting a promotion.
Well, you've got 12 hours, why don't you rub some elbows
and make a new friend?
I wish I served on a ship
that had built-in social structures,
like with Binars or Klingons.
Um, have you ever been on a Klingon ship?
I don't think you'd like it.
They've been warping around the quadrant
for centuries. I bet their Lower Decks are
a lot nicer than you'd think.
_
Come, M'ach.
Let us eat before the squirmiest gaghis devoured.
Do not speak of gagh.
Today I am tasked with scraping out
the worm barrels and replenishing their blood supply.
That is the worst.
I have combat training all day.
Save me a seat at lunch, unless I die an honorable death,
then someone else can have it.
Today will be a day of great honor for me.
I am filling in at the helm.
Yes, the honor is palpable.
Have you not noticed that Commander Togg
has been undermining the captain?
If so, then he should be killed.
Exactly, and stationed at the captain's side,
I will be the logical choice
to be the new first officer.
"Logical"?
Are you a Vulcan now?
Maybe you should trim your bangs and join a science vessel.
Logical!
Could you imagine serving with those biHnuchs?
"Avoid death, and cower."
_
Would anyone care for a game of chess
when we are finished with our second duty shift?
No. I will be composing an arrangement for the lute,
which should take several hours.
I am available for chess.
Hmm.
I have detected an anomalous surge of metreon particles
in System 7743.8.
System 7743.8 is beyond our scanning range.
It would be, but I have implemented personal algorithms,
which increase our long range sensors.
T'Lyn.
Your assignment was to monitor tertiary impulse systems.
That is a redundant system.
I wanted to...
It is logical to improve our scanning capabilities,
instead of observing non-essential systems.
These readings are within acceptable parameters.
Correct. However, this region has never produced this type
of anomalous energy. Does that not seem... strange?
Anomalies, by definition, are strange.
Something about this feels off.
"Feels off"?
You have been spoken to about this before, T'Lyn.
It is illogical to ignore something
of statistical significance.
I must inform the captain.
She has lost all control.
Today is a good day to be a...
It is you who is dishonorable!
You dare spit lies on my ship?!
Coward! You hide behind
- the name of... - I hide behind nothing!
Togg forgot what it means to be Klingon.
I need a loyal first officer,
a soldier of the empire who does not spit in the face of duty.
The job will go to whoever
impresses me most today.
Remove this.
I don't want that stench on my bridge.
I will take care of it, Captain.
Okay, let's snag a bridge buddy.
"Kimarnt, her head cloudy"?
Ah, thank you, Ensign...
Boimler. I took a little Tamarian at the Academy.
Ah, "Unzak and Vhila as children?"
Oh, uh, right, um...
"Karno, in the forest with... Mira."
It is hard to lose weight
when you can replicate any food you want!
No, no, no, that's not what I meant!
Dang it!
Aw, hey, Boimler. I didn't know you had a passion for pottery.
Uh, Kayshon and I didn't really mesh.
Since you have two bridge buddies,
I thought we could share?
Okie dokie!
Take your never-ending bonfire of rage
and bury it in the clay.
Get out of here, rage!
That's a neat pot, Lieutenant Shaxs... did you learn
how to do that back on Bajor?
What did you just say?
I just asked if you learned how to throw pots on Bajor.
- No, no, no, no, no. - Oh, do we not talk about Bajor?
You think I had time
for anything other than resisting?!
Fighting fascism is a full-time job!
- Run! He's not kidding! - Aah!
Put it in the clay, Papa Bear. Put it in the clay.
I'm going to fight.
I'm going to get revenge. I'm...
going to a make a cute little ashtray
for my incense.
It's going to look like a puppy.
Ooh, a puppy.
Yes!
Good boy!
That is what we will do to enemy petaQs.
Drink to honor!
Captain, your targ is most impressive.
Like Kor's hound
at the Battle of Klach D'kel Brakt.
Oh, I'm surprised someone your age
knows of that glorious day.
Oh, it is one of my favorite slaughters.
We could sing a song about it, if...
The blood wine barrel runs low... fetch us more.
Yes, sir.
Why would you modify already adequate long-range sensors,
when that is outside of your duties?
I had a gut feeling that increasing
our sensor range may prove illuminating.
And now you want to adjust our current heading
by 1.7 degrees, because of this...
"instinct."
The energy originated in a region
which has never experienced a comparable phenomenon.
To ignore it would be illogical.
Helm, adjust course to 577 mark 6.
Do not take my action as an endorsement
of your behavior.
You will spend the next two days in meditation.
No, I do not have time for that.
I have another project, which is nearing culmination.
T'Lyn, get ahold of yourself.
These outbursts will not be tolerated.
Two days: work on your self-control.
Through silent meditation.
- Captain, I believe that I could modify the... -Beliefs,
feelings, instincts.
You are behaving like a child.
You were right, Dr. T.
This is amazing!
Ah, nothing like clawing your way up the side
of a giant, hard piece of earth to feel alive.
Boimler! What are you doing up here?
Just wanted to catch up in the old hover boots and see
if you guys needed a climbing partner... Hi, Dr. T'Ana.
You didn't bring any gear?
Well, uh, I-I-I have the shirt and, uh, you know, the boots.
Good thing safety protocols are on.
They-they are on, right?
I don't know. Sure.
Ow, ow, ow!
Hmm.
Why would you tell an entire shift
I get bad cramps?!
You were on duty!
Your commanding officers have to know any medical issues
that could impact the mission!
Billups doesn't need to know!
He's not good with that stuff, it freaked him out!
If I had to dance around everything that freaks out
Billups, we wouldn't get anything done!
Cool! Then maybe I'll tell him to boost the environmental
controls to help with your hot flashes!
Oh, nothing like that Hawaiian surf.
Crisp air, tasty waves.
- This is gonna be great. - Sir.
Ensign. Oh, you remember those luaus, on the beach?
- Ah, so good! - Yeah, friggin' pigs, dude!
Nothing like the feel of Hawaiian sand
after riding those tropical waves.
Mr. Boimler, are you also from Hawaii?
From-from Hawaii? Oh, uh...
He has to be... only people who grew up on the islands
like us could describe it like that.
You're all from Hawaii?
Um, aloha!
Yep, small galaxy, huh?
I can't believe there's another Hawaiian onboard!
We're hitting the beach this afternoon.
Holodeck Three... you should join us.
To clean up or...
No, to hang out!
Unless you don't miss the islands?
No, I mean, yeah, I mean, I am homesick for Hawaii.
I grew up in Hawaii and, man, do I miss Hawaii.
- Wait, didn't you say you're from a vineyard? -Uh...
- Pineapple or coffee? - Both?
Whoa! Now that's tropical.
Next time, fetch your own wine.
I demand assistance.
Could someone just...
Captain, ah, yes, I thank you.
I cannot move this overweight...
When you're done fooling around, walk my targ.
He ate that traitor's leg, and will need to be shuffled around
until it passes, or he will have gas.
Yes, sir.
You are working instead of meditating.
I am nearly finished. I will meditate
as soon as the project is complete.
You know your rebellions will only
lead to punitive spiritualism.
I am not rebellious.
I simply am enjoying the project and hoped to finish it today
so I can continue with other work.
Perhaps if you did not spend all of your time
following rules, you, too, would appreciate
that there is more for us to learn and achieve.
Are you attempting to insult me?
I merely wish for you to join me in broadening
your definition of how to synthesize data.
That sounds like an insult to me.
Perhaps you could look to me as your confidant.
In Klingon culture, they designate those who stand
with one another as cha'Dich.
We are not Klingon.
Nor are we Borg drones.
We do not have to blindly follow orders.
"Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end."
The high command would be most interested to learn
of your relaxed attitude.
How would they find out? Would you report me?
If it is for your own good. You are clearly unstable.
You are not yourself, T'Lyn.
- Everyone has noticed. - Then I hope they notice
how unconcerned I am about their assessment.
Why didn't you just tell them you're not from Hawaii?
I tried! Sort of. It all just happened fast!
Suddenly I was just part of the ohana.
- Isn't that what you wanted? -Yeah, but what if Ransom finds out I lied?
He could demote me to work at a penal colony where
I'd have to mate with the enemy to form a new civilization...
Ensign Mariner, report to my quarters for hanging out.
This is the longest warp of my life!
I don't know, Boimler.
I think you should just come clean.
Yeah, I mean what's really more important:
having a commander friend or being true to yourself?
Yeah, yeah. You're right.
Aloha!
Hey, hey! Aloha!
Captain, the leg has been passed.
It was an honorable movement.
The empire used to choke the quadrant
with fear, power, but now?
We've lost our way.
The empire still strikes terror.
Klingon blood runs as reddish-pink as ever.
Klingons joining Starfleet.
Studying at Bajoran academies.
No hunger for victory.
No respect for tradition.
It is troubling to see a proud caste of warriors
lose their lurDech.
Well put.
You are a true Klingon.
You may be smaller and weaker
and slower and smaller than my other officers.
But you have a warrior's spirit.
One day, you could be captain of your own ship.
That would be my greatest honor, sir.
Uh, besides dying in battle.
Thatwould be my greatest-greatest honor.
Captain, we're being hailed.
Put it in my quarters. Private channel.
- Pakled! - Oh, hi.
Are you ready to give us presents?
We will discuss our transaction in person.
I'm beaming over with my new
second-in-command.
Thank you, Captain.
Pah, Pakleds have no honor.
Are we commandeering their ship?
Even cowards and fools have their uses.
I do not understand.
Pakleds have an insatiable hunger for power.
I can use that.
With the weapons and information I've armed them with,
they've thrown the entire quadrant into discord.
You are helping them?
With the Federation destabilized,
the empire can claim the region as our own.
Our greatest day is yet to come.
Klingons do not allow someone else to fight our battles.
Which is exactly why the Federation
has no idea who is manipulating them.
"Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war."
I think it was the chef,
in the bio lab, with a sniper rifle
that can shoot through walls.
You always pick the chef.
Yeah, 'cause we have replicators.
Why is there a chef? That's just shady.
Captain, we've picked up
an anomalous energy reading nearby.
Should we drop out of warp and investigate?
- Yes! - Yes, please!
All right, let's get back to work.
Ooh, I cannot believe I'm saying that.
- Mariner. - What? I know.
I don't care who the fake killer was.
I had a good time today.
I know.
I did, too.
Welcome to the Pakled spaceship, Pakled.
I am Rebner.
Ah, yes, Rebner, we've met several times.
We need another boomer.
What? No, one Varuvian bomb is enough.
We already used it.
You used it?! On what? Why?
We wanted to test it on a big asteroid,
but then it stopped working.
It was a bomb!
You can only use it once!
This is Dorg. Transport another explosive
- onto the Pakled vessel. - Yes, Captain.
Captain, a Varuvian explosion would emit metreon particles.
Other ships may come to investigate.
Red alarm. Red alarm.
Damn it! Block their communications!
We have to take out that ship!
What the... The Pakleds again?
And now they're threatening Klingons?
Hail the Bird-of-Prey.
No response, Captain.
Klingon ship, this is
the Federation Starship Cerritos.
We've dealt with Pakleds before.
Are you in need of aid?
Captain, both vessels are powering weapons.
What?! Shields up! Red alert!
Dude, my Mai Tai.
Hawaiianers, we're under attack!
Target their weapons!
Shields holding at 80%.
Return fire! Full spread!
Deck Six is taking heavy damage.
Sealing the area.
Damn it! We have to get to the bridge!
I don't want to die in a Hawaiian shirt.
I'm not from Hawaii.
And if I don't make it through this,
I don't want to die a liar.
Sir, I'm from Modesto, California.
I just wanted to find a bridge buddy.
I-I'm sorry.
I'm not from Hawaii, either.
I never felt like I belonged, until I met the rest of you.
Neither am I. None of us are.
We just wanted to be friends with you, sir.
You guys didn't have to pretend
to be something you aren't. I like you for you.
Really? Thanks, Commander.
- Also, I'm not from Hawaii. - Wait, what now?
I made it up when I was an ensign
and my commanding officer was from Honolulu.
I'm actually from the Moon.
Wait, bro, Earth's moon?
That's where I'm from! Luna Bay!
- Tyco City! -My sister went to Tyco City Prep!
I'm from the Third Moon of Benzar!
B-9-3? That's a great moon!
My cousin lives there!
We're all moon buddies?
You know, some people say Modesto is like the moon
of, uh, San Francisco, so I guess I'm from a moon, too.
Modesto is not a moon.
If you were from a moon, you'd know
how deeply insulting that is.
What? You guys pretended to be from Hawaii!
That's like the most culturally insensitive...
Let the Pakleds take the final shot.
They're about to start a war.
This feels wrong. There is no honor
in letting others fight our battles.
Do not talk to me of honor!
I have been crushing baktags beneath my boot
since before you were born!
Other Klingons have tried to sabotage peace before.
- They failed. - I will not.
They will write songs of me this day!
_
- Red alarm! Red alarm! Red alarm! - _
I am hungry.
You should eat.
You are smart.
Red alarm!
Evasive maneuvers!
Shields at 17%!
Captain, we can't last much longer!
Captain, we are being fired upon
by Klingons and Pakleds.
Curious. Shields to maximum power.
The Pakleds appear to have Klingon weaponry.
Primary shields are failing.
Captain, the project I have been working on is
a regenerative shield amplifier.
I believe it may help.
This has not been tested.
If it damages the coupling,
we would be left unprotected.
It is logical to use it now,
considering there are no alternatives.
My instinct tells me
it will work.
Implement the program.
Yes, yes!
The destruction of two enemy ships
will bring me much glory.
These are not our enemies.
Does the high council know of your actions?
The high council lacks foresight.
They will change their minds when the battle begins.
Shields are... increasing.
This is highly improbable, Captain.
They are now at 120%.
Disable the Pakled ship.
Target the Federation ship!
Belay that order.
- What? - This is not our fight.
This lunacy must end.
Ha! You dare challenge me?
Stop the attack.
- Finish them! - No!
Stupid targ!
Ah!
What are your orders, Captain?
Set a course for the homeworld.
The council can decide what to do with this biHnuch.
Captain, the Klingon ship is retreating!
Well, then, let's give the Pakleds
- a taste of their own mushfroot. - Yes, sir!
Hail the Vulcans.
Thanks for the hand, Captain.
For a minute there, we were in a little over our...
Do you require assistance?
I think we're okay over here, we were just...
Excellent, then with the threat neutralized,
no further communication is necessary.
Well, isn't he a ton of fun? Assess the damage.
Let's begin repairs.
Klingons helping Pakleds?
Well, I guess now we know how they got all those weapons.
Strange how they broke off and retreated, though.
Klingons typically want to die in battle.
Honestly, I get it.
It's almost like they decided
- it wasn't their fight. - Captain?
We need to brief Starfleet Command.
They're gonna have a lot to discuss
with the Klingon high council.
We are fortunate that your shield program worked.
If you had not been "following your instinct,"
it is unlikely we would have
- survived that encounter. - I concur.
However, your inability to control
your emotions is a liability.
I am removing you from duty.
Captain, I believe you are making an error.
Your perceived victory today will only serve as fuel
for further impulsivity.
There is no place for that on this starship.
I will gather my personal items
and prepare to return to Vulcan.
- You will not be returning to Vulcan. - Curious.
I am recommending you for reassignment...
to a Starfleet vessel. Your hotheaded ways
may make you better suited to serve with humans.
Captain, I ask that you reconsider.
I do not believe this punishment is warranted.
And that is exactly the type of outburst
which led to my decision.
It is final.
Live long and prosper.
Sir.
They're all from moons!
Look at them, probably talking about tides and werewolves.
I was so close!
I know you really wanted to have a bridge buddy,
But guess what? You don't need them... you've got us.
Next time we have a long-haul warp,
I vote we all do something together, cool?
- You know it! - Cool!
You're right. Thanks, guys.
I appreciate it.
E-Excuse me?
Ensign Boimler, sir?
- Huh? Yeah, uh, yeah, that's me. - Well, I've been having trouble
keeping up with my duty schedule.
Commander Ransom said that you're
the most organized person on the ship.
- He did? - Yeah, he says you're great,
and I should pick your brain, if that's okay.
I mean, yes! Of course!
Yeah, glad to help. Sure.
Oh, thank you, sir!
- I really admire your work! - Let's talk duties.
Every ship in the fleet depends on officers like us
to keep them running.
The bridge crew is maybe the ones you hear about.
But trust me, the real action
begins on the lower decks.
_
CREDITS