1
00:00:05,968 --> 00:00:09,835
And repairs are complete.
Should we head back in?

2
00:00:09,875 --> 00:00:12,343
Wow, would you look at that?

3
00:00:15,202 --> 00:00:16,889
Captain, we just received
a distress call

4
00:00:16,914 --> 00:00:17,928
from the Bakersfield.

5
00:00:17,953 --> 00:00:19,952
They're caught in
a temporal causality loop.

6
00:00:20,014 --> 00:00:22,615
Wait a minute, I'm getting
the same distress call again.

7
00:00:22,639 --> 00:00:24,131
Hold on. And now again.

8
00:00:24,147 --> 00:00:25,670
Sounds like a time loop all right.

9
00:00:25,713 --> 00:00:27,367
We'd better hurry. Warp me.

10
00:00:27,411 --> 00:00:28,978
A view like this makes you realize

11
00:00:29,021 --> 00:00:30,564
it doesn't matter what deck you work on.

12
00:00:30,588 --> 00:00:32,024
We're all in it together.

13
00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,898
And they left us.

14
00:00:35,957 --> 00:00:37,741
They left us.
How much oxygen do we have?

15
00:00:37,769 --> 00:00:39,249
A lot, a little? Ballpark?

16
00:00:39,292 --> 00:00:40,879
Oh, I'm sure they'll turn back
at any second

17
00:00:40,903 --> 00:00:43,557
and we'll have a good laugh about it.

18
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,500
_

19
00:00:49,953 --> 00:00:52,956
See, guys? We're laughing. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

20
00:01:12,036 --> 00:01:15,139
CREDITS

21
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:09,583
There we go, nothing a little
lung rejuvenation won't fix.

22
00:02:09,614 --> 00:02:10,964
See? You're fine.

23
00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:12,506
Oh, yeah, act like it's not a big deal

24
00:02:12,530 --> 00:02:14,750
that you left us to die in the void.

25
00:02:14,794 --> 00:02:16,293
This all could have been
avoided if you'd

26
00:02:16,317 --> 00:02:18,928
followed protocol and signed out
your magnet boots.

27
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,210
Or maybe that wouldn't have
even mattered

28
00:02:20,234 --> 00:02:22,758
since lower decks
are so expendable to you.

29
00:02:22,802 --> 00:02:26,327
Ridiculous! We're all equals
on this ship, right?

30
00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:28,590
- Uh, they sleep in a hallway.
- Oh.

31
00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:29,959
I'm not going to argue
with you, Beckett.

32
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,787
I have to make impossible
life-and-death decisions

33
00:02:31,811 --> 00:02:33,247
every day.

34
00:02:33,290 --> 00:02:35,771
Yeah, no kidding, it's always
ourlife or death.

35
00:02:35,815 --> 00:02:38,600
Ditch the attitude!
A Starfleet drill instructor

36
00:02:38,643 --> 00:02:41,037
is going to be
testing the crew later today,

37
00:02:41,081 --> 00:02:43,866
and I don't need you
messing up our score

38
00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:45,781
because you've got
a chip on your shoulder.

39
00:02:45,825 --> 00:02:47,628
Oh, great, yeah, well, I hope
one of the drills

40
00:02:47,652 --> 00:02:51,091
tests to see if anyone on the
bridge is a giant piece of...

41
00:02:51,134 --> 00:02:54,050
I heard the drill instructor's
Pandronian.

42
00:02:54,094 --> 00:02:56,357
You know they can split
their bodies into three parts?

43
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,577
- I thought I was a triple threat.
- Ugh.

44
00:02:59,621 --> 00:03:01,188
Drills, what a waste of time.

45
00:03:01,231 --> 00:03:04,539
I'd even take real work over
this, like fake pretend work.

46
00:03:04,582 --> 00:03:07,455
Good morning, Cerritos!

47
00:03:07,498 --> 00:03:09,544
This one is Shari Yn Yem,

48
00:03:09,587 --> 00:03:12,155
your friendly Starfleet
drill administrator.

49
00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:15,332
Like many of you, this one
started from the bottom,

50
00:03:15,376 --> 00:03:19,075
but with hard work, and plenty
of drills, this one is now...

51
00:03:19,119 --> 00:03:20,598
at the top!

52
00:03:22,774 --> 00:03:25,647
These simulator holopods are
each programed

53
00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:28,215
with individualized drills based on

54
00:03:28,258 --> 00:03:31,392
situations other Starfleet crews
have experienced.

55
00:03:31,435 --> 00:03:34,482
Every pod has a certain amount
of points you can earn

56
00:03:34,525 --> 00:03:35,918
for doing a good job.

57
00:03:35,962 --> 00:03:38,138
Everyone's score is displayed
right here,

58
00:03:38,181 --> 00:03:41,141
so you can see how you stack up
against your fellow crew.

59
00:03:41,184 --> 00:03:43,708
Almost seems unfair to
make them compete with us.

60
00:03:43,752 --> 00:03:45,449
Gonna be a piece of cake.

61
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,277
This one will be flipping your ranks.

62
00:03:47,321 --> 00:03:50,933
Low-level officers will be
given command of the bridge,

63
00:03:50,977 --> 00:03:54,241
while senior officers will be
placed on the lower decks!

64
00:03:54,284 --> 00:03:55,938
Excuse me. What?!

65
00:03:55,982 --> 00:03:58,723
Well, there's no better way to
evaluate a crew's readiness

66
00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:00,421
than from the bottom up, Captain.

67
00:04:00,464 --> 00:04:03,598
Or should I say, Ensign?

68
00:04:03,641 --> 00:04:06,862
Oh, yeah! This rules!

69
00:04:06,906 --> 00:04:08,995
I get to be senior medical officer!

70
00:04:09,038 --> 00:04:11,693
Ooh, baby, I'm chief engineer!

71
00:04:11,736 --> 00:04:12,844
Good day to you, Captain Boimler.

72
00:04:12,868 --> 00:04:15,479
Good day to you, Captain Mariner.

73
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,153
They actually think they're
going to be able

74
00:04:17,177 --> 00:04:18,656
to handle our jobs?

75
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,180
This is gonna be rich.

76
00:04:20,223 --> 00:04:22,008
All right, deck 12,
follow the yellow line.

77
00:04:22,051 --> 00:04:23,705
Move it along, lower decks.

78
00:04:23,748 --> 00:04:25,185
Aw, son of a...

79
00:04:26,969 --> 00:04:29,667
All right, let's get into it.

80
00:04:29,711 --> 00:04:31,626
I wanna rack up some points
early so I can spend

81
00:04:31,669 --> 00:04:34,063
the rest of the day soaking
in my commander's tub.

82
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,240
- Mirror Universe Encounter.
- Mirror universe?

83
00:04:37,284 --> 00:04:41,331
This is easy. Yeah. I can
pretend to be evil. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

84
00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:43,943
As captain, you must infiltrate
the Terran Empire

85
00:04:43,986 --> 00:04:46,815
and find a way back
to your own dimension.

86
00:04:46,858 --> 00:04:49,426
Long live the Empire.

87
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:53,039
I love to hate. Whattup, Migleemo?

88
00:04:53,082 --> 00:04:55,519
Yikes.

89
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:59,871
Ugh, nothing makes me hornier
than torturing someone.

90
00:04:59,915 --> 00:05:01,395
I'm horny all the time.

91
00:05:01,438 --> 00:05:04,050
And being horny always gets me
in the mood to torture.

92
00:05:04,093 --> 00:05:06,530
You can lose a whole day to that cycle.

93
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:09,533
Okay, screw finding an ally,
let's take over the ship and see

94
00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,598
if we can dismantle the
Terran Empire from the inside.

95
00:05:11,622 --> 00:05:14,408
Deviation from mission parameters

96
00:05:14,451 --> 00:05:15,713
results in loss of points.

97
00:05:15,757 --> 00:05:16,995
Okay, all right, I get it, yeah.

98
00:05:17,019 --> 00:05:18,760
You're not exactly rewarding creativity.

99
00:05:18,803 --> 00:05:20,936
Who dareth bump into me?!

100
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:23,808
Oh, I dareth. I double-dog dareth.

101
00:05:23,852 --> 00:05:25,288
Ah! Ooh!

102
00:05:25,332 --> 00:05:26,986
Okay, good. Just checking.

103
00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:31,686
I need to figure out a way to
impress or kill the captain

104
00:05:31,729 --> 00:05:33,993
so I can get on a more sinister ship.

105
00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:37,779
Long live the Empire.

106
00:05:37,822 --> 00:05:40,042
Long live the... wait,
did you just salute me

107
00:05:40,086 --> 00:05:41,261
with your left hand?

108
00:05:41,304 --> 00:05:43,002
Our Mariner is right-handed.

109
00:05:43,045 --> 00:05:46,048
Uh, no, I just,
uh, I strained this shoulder

110
00:05:46,092 --> 00:05:47,484
flogging a Vulcan.

111
00:05:47,528 --> 00:05:50,052
Get her!

112
00:05:50,096 --> 00:05:52,228
Whoa!

113
00:05:55,057 --> 00:05:56,537
Fail.

114
00:05:56,580 --> 00:05:58,539
- Damn.
- Don't worry, Commander.

115
00:05:58,582 --> 00:06:00,149
You'll have other opportunities

116
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,630
to get a-head.

117
00:06:02,673 --> 00:06:05,459
That's one of my faves.

118
00:06:05,502 --> 00:06:08,636
Medical ethics. Chief medical officer.

119
00:06:08,679 --> 00:06:11,769
Your mission: navigate
a paralyzed Klingon's request

120
00:06:11,813 --> 00:06:13,206
for an honorable death.

121
00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:14,816
Oh, uh, okay.

122
00:06:14,859 --> 00:06:16,470
You must help me kill myself.

123
00:06:16,513 --> 00:06:18,559
I broke my back picking up a peanut.

124
00:06:18,602 --> 00:06:21,083
Well, as head of medical,
I'm not supposed to do any harm.

125
00:06:21,127 --> 00:06:22,215
Huh?

126
00:06:22,258 --> 00:06:23,216
Points deducted.

127
00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:25,609
What? Oh. I guess in that case,

128
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:28,308
let's send you off to Sto-vo-kor.

129
00:06:28,351 --> 00:06:30,875
No! You must use my ceremonial blade!

130
00:06:30,919 --> 00:06:33,139
Ew. No. It'll be quick
and painless this way.

131
00:06:33,182 --> 00:06:34,749
Points deducted.

132
00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:36,925
Huh? I-I gotta hurt him?

133
00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:38,883
You refuse to honor my culture?!

134
00:06:38,927 --> 00:06:40,711
Oh, no, no, sir,
I-I wanna kill you, I...

135
00:06:40,755 --> 00:06:43,149
Just give me the knife. Aah!

136
00:06:43,192 --> 00:06:45,499
Good God, what did you do?

137
00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:46,761
This Klingon isn't dead.

138
00:06:46,804 --> 00:06:48,632
I-I was trying to save him?

139
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,287
- What? Come on. Come on.
- Faster. Kill me. Kill!

140
00:06:51,331 --> 00:06:53,507
We have to get this warrior
an honorable death, stat!

141
00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:57,163
- Get me 300cc's of any type of poison.
- I have to die!

142
00:06:57,206 --> 00:06:59,904
They have giant hearts,
so many backup organs.

143
00:06:59,948 --> 00:07:03,299
Sir, it's done. There's
nothing else we can do.

144
00:07:03,343 --> 00:07:05,258
Damn it. Call it.

145
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:07,564
Time of life, 0900.

146
00:07:07,608 --> 00:07:09,697
No!

147
00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:11,394
- Sorry.
- Fail.

148
00:07:16,747 --> 00:07:18,706
Old West planet.

149
00:07:18,749 --> 00:07:21,274
As captain, you must survive
a lawless frontier town

150
00:07:21,317 --> 00:07:23,450
in Earth's 19th century.

151
00:07:23,493 --> 00:07:25,234
But beware, for you are a wanted man...

152
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,106
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Trapped in cowboy land.

153
00:07:27,149 --> 00:07:28,759
It's a Starfleet classic. Yeehaw.

154
00:07:28,803 --> 00:07:30,805
Just gotta find the saloon...

155
00:07:30,848 --> 00:07:33,677
What? I haven't even done
anything creative.

156
00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:35,810
Oh, we have to ride the horses. Okay.

157
00:07:35,853 --> 00:07:37,942
Seems kinda like a narrow
parameter for a drill.

158
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:42,860
Calm down, horses love me;
I'm a maverick.

159
00:07:42,904 --> 00:07:45,602
Whoa! Aah!

160
00:07:45,646 --> 00:07:48,344
Help! Aah! Ow! Bad horse.

161
00:07:48,388 --> 00:07:49,432
Fail.

162
00:07:51,173 --> 00:07:53,828
Mm-mm-mm.

163
00:07:55,090 --> 00:07:57,527
- The Good of the Many.
- Chief Engineer,

164
00:07:57,571 --> 00:08:00,051
enter the chamber
and fix the warp core breach

165
00:08:00,095 --> 00:08:01,401
to save the ship.

166
00:08:01,444 --> 00:08:03,533
- Okey dokey.
- Sir, the radiation!

167
00:08:03,577 --> 00:08:04,882
You can't go in there!

168
00:08:04,926 --> 00:08:08,059
I have to, son. I'm chief engineer.

169
00:08:08,103 --> 00:08:10,540
Ooh, that sounds so good.

170
00:08:10,584 --> 00:08:13,891
Ow! Hot! Uh, maybe if I...
Aah! Frickin' radiation.

171
00:08:13,935 --> 00:08:15,371
Warp core breach imminent.

172
00:08:15,415 --> 00:08:17,175
I know, computer.
But how am I supposed to... Ow!

173
00:08:17,199 --> 00:08:19,941
Wow, this really shouldn't be that hard.

174
00:08:19,984 --> 00:08:21,856
Shut up, Ensign! Wait, my boot.

175
00:08:21,899 --> 00:08:23,205
Warp core critical.

176
00:08:23,249 --> 00:08:25,816
Ha-ha! Come on, come on.

177
00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:27,557
Got it!

178
00:08:30,647 --> 00:08:32,171
Fail.

179
00:08:35,435 --> 00:08:37,393
- Borg Encounter.
- Uh, could you be

180
00:08:37,437 --> 00:08:38,786
a little more specific than that?

181
00:08:38,829 --> 00:08:40,309
Resist the Borg.

182
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,852
Okay, you know what,
that's fine. I've read literally

183
00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:44,618
everything about the Borg;
I've got this.

184
00:08:44,661 --> 00:08:47,186
Wow, the detail on this is amazing.

185
00:08:47,229 --> 00:08:50,711
We are Borg. Resistance is futile.

186
00:08:50,754 --> 00:08:52,713
Whoa, this is so cool!

187
00:08:52,756 --> 00:08:54,497
Oh, sorry. Please, keep going.
Do the thing.

188
00:08:54,541 --> 00:08:57,413
We will add your biological
distinctiveness to our own.

189
00:08:57,457 --> 00:08:58,719
You will be assimilated.

190
00:08:58,762 --> 00:09:00,068
Can't have that.

191
00:09:03,854 --> 00:09:07,118
All right, can't adjust the
frequency anymore... Yoink.

192
00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:10,470
Yeah!

193
00:09:13,299 --> 00:09:16,258
Ooh. Oh.

194
00:09:19,218 --> 00:09:21,742
Oh, an escape sphere.

195
00:09:21,785 --> 00:09:23,091
Woo-hoo!

196
00:09:23,134 --> 00:09:25,049
Mission accomplished.

197
00:09:25,093 --> 00:09:28,270
Oh, yeah! That's right.
Boimler's the Borg man.

198
00:09:28,314 --> 00:09:30,707
Your score is 79%.

199
00:09:30,751 --> 00:09:33,362
79? No, no, no, no, no,
I can do better than that.

200
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,277
- Can I restart?
- If you score below passing,

201
00:09:35,321 --> 00:09:36,844
you will be locked out.

202
00:09:36,887 --> 00:09:37,845
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hit me.

203
00:09:37,888 --> 00:09:38,846
Come on, let's go.

204
00:09:38,889 --> 00:09:41,588
We are...

205
00:09:44,591 --> 00:09:46,810
Come on, Borg baby, this time
you're coming with me.

206
00:09:48,595 --> 00:09:49,900
Woo-hoo!

207
00:09:49,944 --> 00:09:51,772
83%.

208
00:09:51,815 --> 00:09:53,339
I can do better.

209
00:09:57,517 --> 00:09:58,517
Woo-hoo!

210
00:09:59,823 --> 00:10:01,172
84%.

211
00:10:01,216 --> 00:10:04,741
Do it again. Hit me!

212
00:10:04,785 --> 00:10:06,047
Naked Time?

213
00:10:06,090 --> 00:10:07,657
As captain, you must save your crew,

214
00:10:07,701 --> 00:10:09,069
who are under the influence of a virus

215
00:10:09,093 --> 00:10:11,748
that reduces their inhibitions.

216
00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:14,229
Oh, no, this is
that disease that made everyone

217
00:10:14,273 --> 00:10:15,796
fight and have sex all over the place.

218
00:10:15,839 --> 00:10:19,190
Can you resist your own
temptations and save the ship?

219
00:10:19,215 --> 00:10:21,556
Come on, girl. Last one. You got this.

220
00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:24,457
Wow, everyone's very slick
and sliding around.

221
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:27,329
Keep your hands to yourselves.
Hey, that's an anus!

222
00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:30,332
- Oh.
- Ooh.

223
00:10:30,376 --> 00:10:32,073
Oh!

224
00:10:32,116 --> 00:10:34,510
I can't tell where I end and you begin.

225
00:10:34,554 --> 00:10:36,947
It's naked time!

226
00:10:36,991 --> 00:10:39,298
Oh, fail me, fail me! Seriously,

227
00:10:39,341 --> 00:10:41,300
why is this drill still going? Fail me.

228
00:10:41,343 --> 00:10:43,040
Put me back in the Western!

229
00:10:52,223 --> 00:10:55,139
Ugh, I failed every single drill.

230
00:10:55,183 --> 00:10:57,030
At least you weren't
responsible for the destruction

231
00:10:57,054 --> 00:10:58,360
of a whole ship.

232
00:10:58,404 --> 00:10:59,970
All those life-and-death decisions,

233
00:11:00,006 --> 00:11:02,574
I honestly don't know how
Dr. T'Ana does it every day.

234
00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:05,106
Mmm. Computer, what is this?

235
00:11:05,149 --> 00:11:07,021
That is pesto.

236
00:11:07,064 --> 00:11:08,607
Where's Boimler? He lives
for this kind of spread.

237
00:11:08,631 --> 00:11:10,416
Last I heard, he was still
doing his drill.

238
00:11:10,459 --> 00:11:12,592
Yeah, right. I bet he
bombed out just like us

239
00:11:12,635 --> 00:11:14,333
and he doesn't want to admit it.

240
00:11:17,771 --> 00:11:18,878
We got your signal.
How were you able to...

241
00:11:18,902 --> 00:11:20,556
Just fly.

242
00:11:22,819 --> 00:11:25,213
- 94%.
- Again.

243
00:11:25,256 --> 00:11:27,433
Your score is already in the top ten...

244
00:11:27,476 --> 00:11:28,695
I said again!

245
00:11:28,738 --> 00:11:32,176
It hurts me to say this, but...

246
00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:35,528
maybe the bridge crew's jobs are
actually harder than we thought.

247
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,531
Yeah, well, I'm sure right now
they're finding out

248
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:40,184
just how hard it is to do our jobs, too.

249
00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:45,451
I almost forgot how easy being
a lower-decker is.

250
00:11:45,494 --> 00:11:48,323
All I did was stand in the
back of a banquet all day.

251
00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:50,107
I just waited in the transporter bay

252
00:11:50,151 --> 00:11:51,848
in case anybody
needed to be transported.

253
00:11:51,892 --> 00:11:53,763
Why did we ever rank up again?

254
00:11:53,807 --> 00:11:55,635
So what if their showers
are a little cramped,

255
00:11:55,678 --> 00:11:56,960
or their replicators can only make

256
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:59,073
one slice of pizza at a time?

257
00:11:59,116 --> 00:12:00,814
A small price to pay for no worries

258
00:12:00,857 --> 00:12:02,424
and no responsibilities.

259
00:12:02,468 --> 00:12:04,948
Even these close quarters
don't bother me.

260
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:08,474
Mmm.

261
00:12:08,517 --> 00:12:11,433
Yep, I could get used to this easy life.

262
00:12:13,435 --> 00:12:15,785
Ow! What the?!

263
00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:20,660
Klingon Encounter.

264
00:12:20,703 --> 00:12:23,663
Really? I think I know how
to handle one of those.

265
00:12:23,706 --> 00:12:27,101
Ensigns, your mission is to
support your commanders.

266
00:12:28,668 --> 00:12:31,235
Stop goofing around, Ensigns!
The ship's under attack!

267
00:12:31,279 --> 00:12:33,499
- What happened?
- Don't worry about it. Get to work.

268
00:12:33,542 --> 00:12:35,805
These crates aren't gonna
stack themselves.

269
00:12:35,849 --> 00:12:38,765
Really? There are Klingons on
the other side of the hull,

270
00:12:38,808 --> 00:12:40,680
and this is our job?

271
00:12:40,723 --> 00:12:42,203
Aw, son of a...

272
00:12:43,422 --> 00:12:45,075
If they wanted us to stack these,

273
00:12:45,119 --> 00:12:47,121
then why are they shaped like this?!

274
00:12:47,164 --> 00:12:48,359
Quick! Have you seen
a Q come through here?

275
00:12:48,383 --> 00:12:50,385
- Q is on the ship?
- Forget I said anything.

276
00:12:50,429 --> 00:12:52,822
Commander, wait.
We're Starfleet officers.

277
00:12:52,866 --> 00:12:54,321
We can help you, just tell us what's...

278
00:12:54,345 --> 00:12:57,000
The Jem'Hadar? Get to battle stations!

279
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,349
Damn it!

280
00:12:58,393 --> 00:12:59,960
Aha! I got it.

281
00:13:02,353 --> 00:13:03,920
Failed!

282
00:13:07,968 --> 00:13:11,058
Now that both sides have been
put through individual tests,

283
00:13:11,101 --> 00:13:14,453
your last drill will be
a joint exercise:

284
00:13:14,496 --> 00:13:15,758
a simulated experience

285
00:13:15,802 --> 00:13:18,152
that uses your real bridge.

286
00:13:18,195 --> 00:13:21,068
The true test of a crew is
seeing how you can

287
00:13:21,111 --> 00:13:22,635
unite as a single team.

288
00:13:22,678 --> 00:13:25,028
"Steal the Cerritos from spacedock

289
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,952
and use it to save Spock
on the Genesis planet."

290
00:13:26,987 --> 00:13:29,293
- Okay, yeah.
- An oldie but a goodie.

291
00:13:29,337 --> 00:13:32,209
And just what do you think
you're doing, Ensign Freeman?

292
00:13:32,253 --> 00:13:34,124
Force of habit.

293
00:13:34,168 --> 00:13:36,387
All right, look alive, people.
Yeoman Ransom,

294
00:13:36,431 --> 00:13:38,520
let's get some fresh coffee on deck.

295
00:13:38,564 --> 00:13:40,000
Yes, sir.

296
00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:42,132
Ensign Freeman, full thrusters,
take us out.

297
00:13:42,176 --> 00:13:45,353
Aye, Captain. 90 seconds to spacedock.

298
00:13:46,963 --> 00:13:48,617
Ensign Shaxs, what are you doing?

299
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,706
Requesting permission to
stretch, Captain.

300
00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:53,840
My back's killing me
from sleeping in those bunks.

301
00:13:53,883 --> 00:13:56,712
Oh, it's naked time!

302
00:13:56,756 --> 00:13:59,149
Ugh! No. Stop that. Stop now.

303
00:13:59,193 --> 00:14:00,257
Geez, what's gotten into you?

304
00:14:00,281 --> 00:14:01,761
It's-it's just something

305
00:14:01,804 --> 00:14:03,084
I'm remembering from the drills.

306
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,217
The one where you couldn't even

307
00:14:04,241 --> 00:14:05,373
get on a horse?

308
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:06,722
How do you know about that?

309
00:14:06,766 --> 00:14:08,507
The drills are public, Beckett.

310
00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:09,899
I watched the playback.

311
00:14:09,943 --> 00:14:12,336
I'm just saying,
two and a half years of lessons

312
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,730
and that's what you had to show for it?

313
00:14:14,774 --> 00:14:15,992
Congratulations, Ensign.

314
00:14:16,036 --> 00:14:17,579
You've earned yourself
a trip to the brig.

315
00:14:17,603 --> 00:14:18,884
I've never been sent to the brig.

316
00:14:18,908 --> 00:14:21,041
- Well, now you have.
- On what grounds?

317
00:14:21,084 --> 00:14:22,216
On my grounds!

318
00:14:24,958 --> 00:14:26,350
Beckett, I am speaking!

319
00:14:26,394 --> 00:14:28,875
Captain, did you want
your coffee with cream or...

320
00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:31,094
Dang. That's gotta be a record.

321
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,835
Actually, it is.

322
00:14:35,403 --> 00:14:37,840
I can't believe we didn't even
make it out of the spacedock.

323
00:14:37,884 --> 00:14:40,016
There's not even a numerical
score for that.

324
00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:41,627
Just "incomplete."

325
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:43,585
Oof, somehow that feels worse.

326
00:14:43,629 --> 00:14:45,282
- I guess I...
- You know I...

327
00:14:45,326 --> 00:14:46,980
- Oh, you go.
- No, no, no, you.

328
00:14:47,023 --> 00:14:49,591
You know, it's been so
long since I've been an ensign,

329
00:14:49,635 --> 00:14:52,072
I forgot how hard it can be
when you're not in the loop.

330
00:14:52,115 --> 00:14:56,032
In a lot of ways, taking orders
is the more challenging job.

331
00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:58,208
That's nice to hear, but ditto.

332
00:14:58,252 --> 00:14:59,819
Commander-level stuff is hard.

333
00:14:59,862 --> 00:15:02,430
Just the constant tightrope
walk of protocol.

334
00:15:02,473 --> 00:15:03,910
Not worth the pesto.

335
00:15:03,953 --> 00:15:05,259
Guess the carpet's always grayer

336
00:15:05,302 --> 00:15:07,827
- on the other side of the ship.
- Big-time.

337
00:15:07,870 --> 00:15:10,612
Do they know what "stacked" means?

338
00:15:10,656 --> 00:15:12,701
We're stacking for what reason?

339
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,660
Hold on.

340
00:15:14,703 --> 00:15:16,749
That's what this has all been about.

341
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:18,577
That drills consultant made us suffer

342
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:20,187
through all of this crap

343
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:22,668
just so we'd understand
what the other ranks go through.

344
00:15:22,711 --> 00:15:24,191
That's the actual drill here.

345
00:15:24,234 --> 00:15:25,758
Ugh, you're right!

346
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:27,890
Where is that
tri-bodied little trickster?

347
00:15:27,934 --> 00:15:29,631
I want to shake her hand.

348
00:15:31,372 --> 00:15:33,069
Yo, Shari Yingo Yango,

349
00:15:33,113 --> 00:15:34,984
- we figured you out, girl.
- You did?

350
00:15:35,028 --> 00:15:37,944
Yeah, these drills were
secretly about team building.

351
00:15:37,987 --> 00:15:40,424
You came in to make us
appreciate each other more.

352
00:15:40,468 --> 00:15:43,123
And it worked! Thanks to you,
the Cerritoscrew will

353
00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:44,951
move forward with greater empathy

354
00:15:44,994 --> 00:15:47,518
and a deeper
appreciation for each other.

355
00:15:51,305 --> 00:15:55,483
Oh, no, you won't be moving
forward at all.

356
00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:04,334
What are you...

357
00:16:04,359 --> 00:16:05,580
what is she laughing about?

358
00:16:05,624 --> 00:16:06,799
Oh, come on.

359
00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:08,879
Your drills scores
are well below failing.

360
00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:11,055
Once they're submitted,
Starfleet Command will

361
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,952
relegate and reassign this entire crew.

362
00:16:13,995 --> 00:16:15,519
So this wasn't about teamwork?

363
00:16:15,562 --> 00:16:17,303
Teamwork? No.

364
00:16:17,347 --> 00:16:18,870
This was about saving my job.

365
00:16:18,913 --> 00:16:21,394
The bigger ships always passed
my drills with no problem.

366
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,004
It was starting to seem like we didn't

367
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,354
need a drills program at all.

368
00:16:24,397 --> 00:16:26,356
This one needed a crew to fall short

369
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:28,575
to prove the drills were still valuable,

370
00:16:28,619 --> 00:16:30,708
and, oh, did I find a crew.

371
00:16:30,751 --> 00:16:32,797
You targeted us for failure?

372
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,060
This is a ship whose captain
left four ensigns

373
00:16:35,104 --> 00:16:37,584
on a spacewalk to answer
a distress call.

374
00:16:37,628 --> 00:16:39,282
It was a pretty safe bet.

375
00:16:39,325 --> 00:16:42,459
And, of course, it didn't hurt
to goose the drills a bit.

376
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,288
Oh, I knew it. That mirror
universe drill was rigged.

377
00:16:45,331 --> 00:16:47,768
They were all rigged!

378
00:16:47,812 --> 00:16:50,902
And those horses. I would never
get trampled by a horse.

379
00:16:50,945 --> 00:16:52,314
Oh, actually, no,
the horses weren't rigged.

380
00:16:52,338 --> 00:16:53,905
I ran out of time. That one's on you.

381
00:16:53,948 --> 00:16:55,036
Horses love me. Shut up!

382
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,169
We won't let you get away with this.

383
00:16:57,213 --> 00:16:59,389
Cerritoscrew, we've got
to do more drills

384
00:16:59,432 --> 00:17:00,888
- to get our scores up.
- It's too late.

385
00:17:00,912 --> 00:17:03,175
Once the drills have been failed,

386
00:17:03,219 --> 00:17:04,481
you're locked out.

387
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,961
Soon this one
will submit your final scores

388
00:17:07,005 --> 00:17:08,635
to Starfleet, and that will be
the end of...

389
00:17:08,659 --> 00:17:10,574
Wait, shut up, the drills aren't over.

390
00:17:10,617 --> 00:17:12,315
- One is still active.
- What? Which one?

391
00:17:12,358 --> 00:17:13,751
- It's Boimler!
- How?

392
00:17:13,794 --> 00:17:15,970
That Borg drill should've
been over hours ago.

393
00:17:16,014 --> 00:17:17,233
Well, it doesn't matter.

394
00:17:17,276 --> 00:17:19,409
One passing score will make
little difference.

395
00:17:19,452 --> 00:17:22,760
- If the drills aren't finished...
- Our scores aren't final!

396
00:17:22,803 --> 00:17:24,283
Boimler, can you hear me?

397
00:17:24,327 --> 00:17:26,677
Hey, Mariner, I was just about
to close out this drill.

398
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,872
I finally got a perfect... Don't
you finish that drill, Ensign.

399
00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:30,159
That's an order!

400
00:17:30,202 --> 00:17:31,832
Captain, but I beat
the Borg Queen in chess,

401
00:17:31,856 --> 00:17:34,075
- and I taught her empathy.
- Just stay in that drill!

402
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,165
The crew is counting on you.

403
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:37,949
Yeah, Shari Bing Bang
is trying to screw us,

404
00:17:37,992 --> 00:17:39,820
but she can't until your drill is over.

405
00:17:39,864 --> 00:17:41,648
- Just keep Borging!
- I'm on it.

406
00:17:41,692 --> 00:17:44,260
Resistance is futile.

407
00:17:44,303 --> 00:17:45,739
Aw, man.

408
00:17:45,783 --> 00:17:48,351
You know you've already lost, right?

409
00:17:48,394 --> 00:17:50,657
All you're doing is
torturing that young officer.

410
00:17:50,701 --> 00:17:52,442
He'll be fine. He's one of our best.

411
00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:54,226
- He is?
- None of you are the best.

412
00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:56,097
You're on a California Class ship.

413
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,622
Most of the Federation
doesn't even know you exist.

414
00:17:58,665 --> 00:18:00,580
The smaller the ship,
the tougher the crew.

415
00:18:00,624 --> 00:18:02,321
Oh, please, face the truth.

416
00:18:02,365 --> 00:18:03,757
This one's made the drills.

417
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:05,977
This one's read all about life
on starships.

418
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:09,067
Exactly. You've read
how to work in space,

419
00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:12,026
but have you ever been in a real
life-or-death situation?

420
00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:14,464
- That doesn't matter.
- It's about to.

421
00:18:14,507 --> 00:18:16,814
Captain on deck! Real captain.

422
00:18:16,857 --> 00:18:20,209
Ensign Tendi, run a long-range
scan for any potentially

423
00:18:20,252 --> 00:18:21,819
hazardous anomalies in this system.

424
00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:23,473
Yes, sir. Is this a new drill?

425
00:18:23,516 --> 00:18:25,431
Oh, no, this is real.

426
00:18:25,475 --> 00:18:27,607
What is that supposed to mean?

427
00:18:27,651 --> 00:18:30,306
All right, let's see, we've got
a tetryon wormhole,

428
00:18:30,349 --> 00:18:31,959
chroniton radiation stream.

429
00:18:32,003 --> 00:18:33,283
Ooh, a loner crystalline entity,

430
00:18:33,309 --> 00:18:36,007
a crystalline entity
consuming a rogue planet,

431
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:38,072
a couple crystalline entities
getting frisky... huh.

432
00:18:38,096 --> 00:18:39,639
Lots of, lots of
crystalline entities today.

433
00:18:39,663 --> 00:18:41,795
Must be crystalline entity
season or something.

434
00:18:41,839 --> 00:18:43,580
Ensign, set an intercept course

435
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,122
for one of those crystalline entities.

436
00:18:45,146 --> 00:18:46,844
- Warp four.
- Aye aye, Captain!

437
00:18:46,887 --> 00:18:49,803
"The Crystalline Entity"
is drill number 89.

438
00:18:49,847 --> 00:18:51,501
A classic. Can't wait.

439
00:18:52,545 --> 00:18:54,373
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, no!

440
00:18:54,417 --> 00:18:55,896
No, no, no, no, no.

441
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:57,744
Come on, Mariner, whatever
you're doing up there, hurry!

442
00:18:57,768 --> 00:18:59,639
Aah! Borg Queen!

443
00:19:03,164 --> 00:19:05,602
Uh, how-how's the empathy?

444
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,560
We were able to assimilate it.

445
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:10,868
No, no, no, no, no, my score!

446
00:19:12,913 --> 00:19:14,828
Captain, we've reached
the crystalline entity.

447
00:19:14,872 --> 00:19:17,962
It appears to be feeding on
unstable nebula radiation.

448
00:19:18,005 --> 00:19:20,312
Oh, my, it's bigger
than this one thought.

449
00:19:20,356 --> 00:19:21,574
Unstable, huh?

450
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:23,663
Seems like something
we should investigate.

451
00:19:23,707 --> 00:19:25,099
Shields up, take us in.

452
00:19:25,143 --> 00:19:26,903
What? No! In my drill,
you're never supposed to...

453
00:19:26,927 --> 00:19:28,189
This isn't a drill.

454
00:19:33,717 --> 00:19:35,458
Shields holding, Captain,

455
00:19:35,501 --> 00:19:38,069
but I'm reading transphasic
energy within the perimeter.

456
00:19:38,112 --> 00:19:41,159
That's a new one.
Let's get a closer look!

457
00:19:41,202 --> 00:19:44,380
No! We don't know the effect of...

458
00:19:44,423 --> 00:19:45,859
Controls are getting choppy.

459
00:19:45,903 --> 00:19:47,861
We're caught in an electromagnetic

460
00:19:47,905 --> 00:19:50,777
resonance belt.
I think we're in trouble!

461
00:19:50,821 --> 00:19:52,910
This is not good!

462
00:19:52,953 --> 00:19:55,173
Whoa!

463
00:20:00,004 --> 00:20:03,790
Mariner, I really need
to get out of here. Like now!

464
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:05,052
Ooh.

465
00:20:05,096 --> 00:20:06,227
Kinda tickles.

466
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,968
A remarkable creature.

467
00:20:08,012 --> 00:20:10,667
Your design very nearly passes as human.

468
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,451
- I am human.
- Oh!

469
00:20:12,495 --> 00:20:15,411
Wow. Then you need to drink more water.

470
00:20:15,454 --> 00:20:17,151
Your skin is a mess.

471
00:20:17,195 --> 00:20:20,720
But still, I think I should add
your biological distinctiveness

472
00:20:20,764 --> 00:20:23,506
to our own; it's kind of our thing.

473
00:20:23,549 --> 00:20:25,246
Are-are you sure? Because I've got

474
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:26,900
hay fever and acid reflux.

475
00:20:26,944 --> 00:20:30,251
Adding me might result in a net
negative for the collective.

476
00:20:34,081 --> 00:20:35,996
Oh, this one's gonna puke.

477
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,999
We need to fire a graviton
pulse to punch a hole out.

478
00:20:39,043 --> 00:20:42,369
On my mark. Mmm...

479
00:20:42,394 --> 00:20:44,831
Say "mark"! Say "mark"!
What are you waiting for?!

480
00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:47,791
Just making sure you're as
scared as you're going to get.

481
00:20:47,817 --> 00:20:49,384
- You're crazy!
- Mark!

482
00:20:49,445 --> 00:20:50,445
Full impulse!

483
00:20:57,453 --> 00:21:00,586
Mariner, find me something else
dangerous to scan.

484
00:21:00,630 --> 00:21:02,849
I'm in the mood for a black hole.

485
00:21:02,893 --> 00:21:04,305
- Why?!
- We're gonna keep doing this

486
00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:06,418
until you change our score.

487
00:21:06,462 --> 00:21:08,681
There's a black hole feeding on
a temporal rift

488
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:10,988
just three systems over.
Lots of time quakes.

489
00:21:11,031 --> 00:21:13,469
Sounds perfect. Maximum warp.

490
00:21:15,471 --> 00:21:17,318
You can't blackmail me at
the expense of your crew.

491
00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:19,170
They do this kind of work every day.

492
00:21:19,213 --> 00:21:20,737
You gonna give us a passing grade,

493
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,565
or are we just gonna keep seeking out

494
00:21:22,608 --> 00:21:24,349
dangerous situations for you

495
00:21:24,393 --> 00:21:26,438
to see up close?

496
00:21:28,875 --> 00:21:31,530
Stop! Stop! We can't!

497
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,795
Get me out of here! Get me out of here!

498
00:21:35,839 --> 00:21:39,146
We could do this all day, lady!

499
00:21:40,452 --> 00:21:44,108
All right, fine. You win, you win!

500
00:21:44,151 --> 00:21:46,415
There, it's done. You've passed.

501
00:21:46,458 --> 00:21:48,242
Mr. Rutherford, stop our spin.

502
00:21:48,286 --> 00:21:49,286
Aye, Captain.

503
00:21:50,897 --> 00:21:53,900
What? But the temporal black hole...

504
00:21:53,944 --> 00:21:56,895
Well, that was kind of a lie.
It's just a regular black hole.

505
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:57,991
Yeah, no biggie.

506
00:21:58,034 --> 00:21:59,534
Which you would have known
if you weren't

507
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:00,865
a total fraud.

508
00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:03,068
I'll be sure to put that in my report.

509
00:22:06,173 --> 00:22:08,219
Boimler! We did it. Hey, it's all good.

510
00:22:08,262 --> 00:22:09,699
You can exit the drill now.

511
00:22:09,742 --> 00:22:11,091
Boimler?

512
00:22:20,536 --> 00:22:22,581
I can him hear him shuffling
around in there.

513
00:22:22,625 --> 00:22:25,018
Mr. Boimler! You can come out now.

514
00:22:25,062 --> 00:22:26,411
You saved the ship!

515
00:22:26,455 --> 00:22:29,283
There is no Boimler.
I am Excretus of Borg.

516
00:22:29,327 --> 00:22:30,327
Get him out of there!

517
00:22:33,549 --> 00:22:35,420
Assimilate. I must assimilate!

518
00:22:35,464 --> 00:22:38,249
I, uh... Where am I?

519
00:22:38,292 --> 00:22:40,381
You're still on the Cerritos,
Mr. Boimler.

520
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:42,601
The crew owes you a debt of gratitude.

521
00:22:42,645 --> 00:22:45,386
I was assimilated.
They-they put implants up my...

522
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:47,084
Ear is where they put the implants.

523
00:22:47,127 --> 00:22:49,913
Right in your ear.
Come on, pal, you need a drink.

524
00:22:49,956 --> 00:22:52,045
Did I, did I get my perfect score?

525
00:22:52,089 --> 00:22:54,308
You sure did. A hundred percent.

526
00:22:54,352 --> 00:22:58,095
Hell yeah. Hit me. Hit me again.

527
00:23:02,229 --> 00:23:04,275
Shari Yn Yem is no longer
working for Starfleet.

528
00:23:04,318 --> 00:23:08,192
Apparently she stepped down
because of on-the-job stress.

529
00:23:08,235 --> 00:23:09,933
Feels good, ruining a jerk's career.

530
00:23:09,976 --> 00:23:12,675
Agreed. And there was
one thing she did manage

531
00:23:12,718 --> 00:23:14,198
to teach us today.

532
00:23:14,241 --> 00:23:16,200
Whoa, new replicator?

533
00:23:16,243 --> 00:23:18,158
Let's just say we experienced

534
00:23:18,202 --> 00:23:19,658
what the lower decks have been eating,

535
00:23:19,682 --> 00:23:21,988
and noticed it could
use some improvement.

536
00:23:22,032 --> 00:23:25,688
We updated this one with most of
the senior officer menu codes.

537
00:23:25,731 --> 00:23:26,906
We get pesto?!

538
00:23:26,950 --> 00:23:28,386
If you're going to be facing danger

539
00:23:28,429 --> 00:23:29,605
on a daily basis,

540
00:23:29,648 --> 00:23:31,520
might as well get the good stuff.

541
00:23:31,563 --> 00:23:33,696
Thanks, guys. Aw, this is really nice.

542
00:23:33,739 --> 00:23:35,064
Ooh, ooh, does it make
the lobster mac and cheese

543
00:23:35,088 --> 00:23:36,307
with the breaded top?

544
00:23:36,350 --> 00:23:37,526
Sounds like the one thing

545
00:23:37,569 --> 00:23:38,701
the Borg left you with

546
00:23:38,744 --> 00:23:40,529
was your appetite.

547
00:23:40,572 --> 00:23:42,792
They took everything that I was.

548
00:23:44,126 --> 00:23:50,204
CREDITS