1
00:01:03,171 --> 00:01:05,205
D'oh!

2
00:01:59,795 --> 00:02:01,261
D'oh!

3
00:02:01,829 --> 00:02:07,285
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

4
00:02:19,247 --> 00:02:20,613
Great birthday trip.

5
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,450
One more thing to remind me
of my insignificance.

6
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:29,489
Two adults, one student,
one boy who just phones it in,

7
00:02:29,558 --> 00:02:32,292
and a senior citizen veteran
on his birthday.

8
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,594
Oh, and I'd like to apply
my astronaut discount.

9
00:02:34,663 --> 00:02:36,329
I'll need to see your diaper.

10
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,133
Typical cheapskate Homer.

11
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,736
Taking all the fun out of turning 87.

12
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,738
Get this stupid party hat off me!

13
00:02:44,806 --> 00:02:47,474
- What the... ?
- Oh, I'll fix it.

14
00:02:54,616 --> 00:02:56,883
Woo-hoo! 182!

15
00:02:56,952 --> 00:02:59,686
Homer, that's your weight on the moon.

16
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,422
I used to be a planet.

17
00:03:02,491 --> 00:03:04,624
Then one day they called
and said it was over.

18
00:03:04,693 --> 00:03:06,626
It's over when I say it's over!

19
00:03:06,695 --> 00:03:08,395
So sad.

20
00:03:08,463 --> 00:03:09,863
But I'll be back.

21
00:03:09,931 --> 00:03:11,431
I'm working on some stuff.

22
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:15,168
Let's just say you might not be
seeing Halley's Comet no more.

23
00:03:21,643 --> 00:03:23,176
Losers.

24
00:03:29,184 --> 00:03:32,252
Forged in a nanosecond in the Big Bang,

25
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,754
our universe is so enormous,

26
00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:38,091
every NFL stadium could fit inside it.

27
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,393
And their parking lots.

28
00:03:42,364 --> 00:03:43,963
When's this show gonna start?

29
00:03:44,032 --> 00:03:45,698
It has started.

30
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,568
How can it have started if I'm talking?

31
00:03:48,637 --> 00:03:50,103
Wouldn't that bother everyone?

32
00:03:50,172 --> 00:03:54,340
Quiet! I can't hear the Big Bang!

33
00:03:54,409 --> 00:03:57,977
Approximately 13.8 billion years ago...

34
00:03:58,046 --> 00:03:59,779
- Billion?
- ... the universe consisted of

35
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,949
a tiny singularity of enormous mass,

36
00:04:03,018 --> 00:04:06,886
which suddenly burst forth
in the greatest explosion ever.

37
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,789
Fire in the theater!

38
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:13,026
No! Your pupils aren't
ready for Earth light!

39
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,197
Damn it, I was developing film!

40
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,806
Turn it up!

41
00:04:26,842 --> 00:04:28,208
I can't hear it!

42
00:04:28,276 --> 00:04:30,643
Louder!

43
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,680
Keep it down!

44
00:04:39,421 --> 00:04:41,888
Mm, happy birthday.

45
00:04:41,957 --> 00:04:44,224
I never want to hear that again!

46
00:04:44,292 --> 00:04:49,362
? Happy birthday to you ?

47
00:04:49,431 --> 00:04:54,634
? Happy birthday to you. ?

48
00:04:54,703 --> 00:04:56,569
Say my name, you cowards!

49
00:04:56,638 --> 00:04:58,404
Make a wish, party popper.

50
00:04:58,473 --> 00:05:00,673
Okay, I will.

51
00:05:03,478 --> 00:05:04,811
That was a coincidence.

52
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,947
I got you the one birthday present

53
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,649
you can really use.

54
00:05:09,718 --> 00:05:11,985
A call girl that kills me after?

55
00:05:12,053 --> 00:05:15,221
- A hearing aid.
- A hearing aid?

56
00:05:15,257 --> 00:05:18,158
Forget it. People will think
I'm old, dadgummit.

57
00:05:18,226 --> 00:05:19,492
You are old.

58
00:05:19,561 --> 00:05:22,662
You've lived long enough
to see your prejudiced attitudes

59
00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:24,164
come back into fashion.

60
00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:26,833
Lousy Greeks.

61
00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,134
Thank you.

62
00:06:03,538 --> 00:06:04,604
Bart! Bart!

63
00:06:04,673 --> 00:06:05,872
Wake up.

64
00:06:05,941 --> 00:06:07,640
- Yo. What's up?
- Listen.

65
00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:09,309
The planetarium said the universe is

66
00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:11,744
13.8 billion years old.

67
00:06:11,813 --> 00:06:14,647
But I turned in a paper
where I said million!

68
00:06:14,716 --> 00:06:16,282
What do you want from me?

69
00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:19,352
I was just wondering

70
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:22,989
if you were planning on breaking
into the school anytime soon.

71
00:06:23,058 --> 00:06:24,791
You know, like, maybe tonight.

72
00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:26,059
Nope. Not till next month.

73
00:06:26,127 --> 00:06:27,327
Please.

74
00:06:27,362 --> 00:06:28,761
I'll do your homework!

75
00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:30,863
Sounds like you can't even
do your own homework.

76
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,966
- Ouch.
- Yeah, you think about that

77
00:06:33,034 --> 00:06:35,468
while I'm breaking you into the school.

78
00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:36,803
Hmm.

79
00:06:36,871 --> 00:06:38,571
Who's breaking into the school?

80
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,573
Bart's just talking in his sleep!

81
00:06:40,642 --> 00:06:42,842
I believe that. Trust you. Good night!

82
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,748
How did you know this door was broken?

83
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,283
Eh, Willie keeps me posted.

84
00:06:50,352 --> 00:06:51,985
I keep him in licorice.

85
00:06:53,321 --> 00:06:55,955
Willie's riding the red pony tonight.

86
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,367
Look who's got pumpkin stickers!

87
00:07:07,435 --> 00:07:09,736
Bart, those are for Halloween.

88
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,438
Also Thanksgiving
if there's some left over.

89
00:07:17,746 --> 00:07:20,847
Whoa! Where has this been all my life?

90
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:23,883
Come on, let's go!

91
00:07:23,918 --> 00:07:26,119
Okay. You fixed your stupid paper,

92
00:07:26,187 --> 00:07:28,488
and I scored the teacher's nicotine gum.

93
00:07:28,523 --> 00:07:31,391
She does that so she doesn't
smell like cigarettes, you know.

94
00:07:31,459 --> 00:07:33,393
Yeah, and she should also
get some booze gum.

95
00:07:36,965 --> 00:07:38,398
What's that?

96
00:07:38,466 --> 00:07:39,966
Maybe it's the ghost of that boy

97
00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:43,202
who had to climb that rope
in gym until his heart exploded.

98
00:07:43,271 --> 00:07:45,204
You're making that up.

99
00:07:45,273 --> 00:07:47,240
Am I that creative?

100
00:07:47,309 --> 00:07:48,608
No.

101
00:08:01,489 --> 00:08:03,890
Oh, God.

102
00:08:06,795 --> 00:08:08,061
Principal Skinner.

103
00:08:08,129 --> 00:08:10,296
Are you living in the school?

104
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:14,000
Absolutely not. And you have no proof.

105
00:08:18,809 --> 00:08:22,073
Seymour, why are you
living here? You have a house.

106
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:23,769
With 30 pizzas on the way.

107
00:08:23,838 --> 00:08:24,904
30 pizzas.

108
00:08:24,953 --> 00:08:27,853
I can finally send mama
back to Italy! Mwah!

109
00:08:27,889 --> 00:08:29,522
It's not my house, it's Mother's.

110
00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:33,492
But after what I just found out
she did, I can never go back.

111
00:08:33,561 --> 00:08:36,195
They say it's better to talk
about it, but I never will.

112
00:08:36,264 --> 00:08:37,630
- Okay.
- We understand.

113
00:08:37,699 --> 00:08:39,732
Seriously, don't ask what it was.

114
00:08:39,767 --> 00:08:41,901
- Are you asking?
- I was stretching.

115
00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:43,302
Then why'd you only stretch one arm?

116
00:08:43,371 --> 00:08:45,104
It's the only arm
that needed stretching.

117
00:08:45,173 --> 00:08:46,639
Fine, I'll tell you what it was.

118
00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:47,974
- You don't have to.
- Really, it's okay.

119
00:08:48,009 --> 00:08:49,009
We believe you.

120
00:08:49,043 --> 00:08:50,276
Ever since I was a kid,

121
00:08:50,345 --> 00:08:51,877
I-I wanted to be a drummer.

122
00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:53,612
- In a rock band?
- No.

123
00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:55,781
Marching.

124
00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:59,585
I would've given all I had
to be the dot on that "I."

125
00:08:59,654 --> 00:09:01,187
It's also called a "tittle."

126
00:09:01,222 --> 00:09:02,455
Don't you think I know that?

127
00:09:02,523 --> 00:09:04,390
I did everything I could
to make that band.

128
00:09:04,425 --> 00:09:08,394
In my application, I sent
songs and choreographies.

129
00:09:20,174 --> 00:09:22,141
I'm a shoo-in!

130
00:09:28,116 --> 00:09:30,516
Then the fateful day came.

131
00:09:30,585 --> 00:09:34,387
Son, you got a letter from
Ohio State University.

132
00:09:34,455 --> 00:09:36,555
I'm too nervous to get up.

133
00:09:36,624 --> 00:09:38,131
Do you want me to read it to you?

134
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:39,348
Yes.

135
00:09:41,029 --> 00:09:42,762
I'm sorry.

136
00:09:42,830 --> 00:09:44,196
You were rejected.

137
00:09:44,265 --> 00:09:45,531
Uh, seems kind of thick.

138
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,166
Well, they gave you a lot of reasons

139
00:09:47,235 --> 00:09:48,501
why you weren't good enough.

140
00:09:50,571 --> 00:09:52,338
That's so sad.

141
00:09:52,407 --> 00:09:54,640
There's more I have to tell you.

142
00:09:54,709 --> 00:09:57,643
I was going to surprise Mother
by papering her drawers,

143
00:09:57,712 --> 00:09:59,145
then I found this.

144
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,446
I was accepted.

145
00:10:00,515 --> 00:10:01,614
She lied.

146
00:10:01,682 --> 00:10:03,449
That's so sad.

147
00:10:03,484 --> 00:10:05,084
What makes this really tragic

148
00:10:05,153 --> 00:10:07,153
is there was also
a personal handwritten letter

149
00:10:07,221 --> 00:10:08,521
from the Director of Admissions.

150
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:12,905
Dear Seymour, I truly hope
you'll accept a full scholarship

151
00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:15,457
to come to Ohio State.
We want to make use

152
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:18,186
of your brillant formations immediately

153
00:10:18,562 --> 00:10:19,732
What's that smell?

154
00:10:19,801 --> 00:10:22,735
I'm making spaghetti and kick balls.

155
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,412
And in a fantastic coincidence,

156
00:10:25,413 --> 00:10:28,306
our current marching band
director is due to retire

157
00:10:28,307 --> 00:10:31,791
in four years and I can't
of a better replacement.

158
00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:35,392
You'll live a life at the
pinnacle of Columbus society

159
00:10:35,393 --> 00:10:37,611
and be buried at the fifty-yard line

160
00:10:37,612 --> 00:10:41,342
where you will witness coin
tosses for all eternity.

161
00:10:42,657 --> 00:10:44,290
Does it get worse than that?

162
00:10:44,358 --> 00:10:45,991
How could it be worse than that?

163
00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:47,960
May I see the letter?

164
00:10:48,029 --> 00:10:50,963
I must say your
sympathy is a pleasant surprise.

165
00:10:51,032 --> 00:10:53,432
No, this is just the only
college acceptance letter

166
00:10:53,501 --> 00:10:54,767
I'll ever hold.

167
00:10:57,138 --> 00:10:58,404
Mm.

168
00:11:02,143 --> 00:11:04,643
So it's for all these reasons
that I will not be seeking

169
00:11:04,712 --> 00:11:06,145
a seat in the U.S. Senate.

170
00:11:06,214 --> 00:11:08,380
I will now take a few questions.

171
00:11:08,449 --> 00:11:11,617
Let me tell you the wonderful
present I just got.

172
00:11:11,686 --> 00:11:13,219
Dad! What a surprise!

173
00:11:13,287 --> 00:11:14,720
What's he doing here?

174
00:11:14,789 --> 00:11:16,388
Didn't we just see him yesterday?

175
00:11:16,457 --> 00:11:18,524
That's what they're
saying under their breath?

176
00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:21,060
How awful! I want to hear all of it.

177
00:11:21,129 --> 00:11:23,762
Maybe if we pretend we're tired,
he'll go home.

178
00:11:27,969 --> 00:11:29,869
Thank God he can't hear us.

179
00:11:29,937 --> 00:11:31,871
And I'm glad these fake yawns

180
00:11:31,939 --> 00:11:33,973
are something we can do as a family.

181
00:11:35,343 --> 00:11:36,642
What?! You, too?!

182
00:11:36,711 --> 00:11:38,144
Good-bye!

183
00:11:38,212 --> 00:11:39,245
Dad, wait!

184
00:11:39,313 --> 00:11:40,646
What's wrong with the old coot?

185
00:11:40,715 --> 00:11:43,816
I mean, what's wrong with you,
you sweet old coot?

186
00:11:43,885 --> 00:11:47,786
I got a hearing aid,
and I heard everything you said.

187
00:11:47,822 --> 00:11:50,723
We didn't mean the mean things we meant.

188
00:11:50,791 --> 00:11:53,392
We just said them because we meant them.

189
00:11:54,529 --> 00:11:56,729
I am gone forever!

190
00:11:59,634 --> 00:12:01,767
A little mall walk will cheer me up.

191
00:12:05,873 --> 00:12:08,307
Uh-oh, old guy. Don't make eye contact.

192
00:12:08,376 --> 00:12:10,743
Rubbing them is like
working dry lasagna.

193
00:12:11,879 --> 00:12:13,679
Old guy! Here he comes!

194
00:12:13,748 --> 00:12:15,481
He'll want to try all my lotion samples.

195
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:18,284
I'll have to explain
what "send" is on a cell phone.

196
00:12:24,525 --> 00:12:26,692
Come in! Come in!

197
00:12:26,727 --> 00:12:28,694
Well, that's more like it.

198
00:12:35,836 --> 00:12:37,636
I had to cheat.

199
00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:40,206
I was doing it for the bell curve.

200
00:12:40,274 --> 00:12:43,309
And with 99% of the vote in,

201
00:12:43,377 --> 00:12:46,011
the next president is Lisa Simps...

202
00:12:46,047 --> 00:12:47,446
Wait a minute.

203
00:12:47,515 --> 00:12:50,883
I'm being told she cheated
on a paper in second grade.

204
00:12:50,952 --> 00:12:52,685
She is disqualified,

205
00:12:52,753 --> 00:12:55,487
making our next president Kenny Hitler.

206
00:12:55,556 --> 00:12:58,157
No!

207
00:12:59,694 --> 00:13:02,394
Hey, welcome to Bob Hope's USO Show,

208
00:13:02,463 --> 00:13:05,631
or as I like to call it,
Christmas away from Dolores.

209
00:13:07,034 --> 00:13:09,235
Oh, that could've been me
on those drums.

210
00:13:09,303 --> 00:13:12,338
I would've gotten to rehearse
at his house in Toluca Lake.

211
00:13:12,406 --> 00:13:14,139
Toluca Lake!

212
00:13:17,044 --> 00:13:18,344
What'll it be?

213
00:13:18,412 --> 00:13:21,513
Can an old vet have a beer
and tell you his troubles?

214
00:13:22,984 --> 00:13:24,083
Sure.

215
00:13:32,039 --> 00:13:35,769
And that's how I opened the orange.

216
00:13:41,541 --> 00:13:44,869
So, uh, my mother
didn't tell me I got in.

217
00:13:44,870 --> 00:13:47,004
That's all right. You can enroll now.

218
00:13:47,073 --> 00:13:48,272
- Can I?
- No!

219
00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:50,774
This is a school, not an '80s comedy.

220
00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:52,676
That, uh, letter you sent me...

221
00:13:52,745 --> 00:13:54,511
is that something
you send every student?

222
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:57,514
No, I only sent that once, to you.

223
00:13:57,583 --> 00:13:58,916
When you didn't show up,

224
00:13:58,951 --> 00:14:01,351
that was the second worst day
of my career.

225
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:02,475
What was the worst?

226
00:14:02,476 --> 00:14:05,110
The day the Big Ten expanded
to 14 schools.

227
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:06,745
What are we, morons?

228
00:14:06,814 --> 00:14:10,215
We didn't even notice till
Northwestern pointed it out.

229
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:15,061
Oh, I'm sorry, should I not have
told you about the letter?

230
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,428
Uh, no.

231
00:14:16,463 --> 00:14:19,764
It's actually good,
because I'm no longer sad.

232
00:14:19,833 --> 00:14:21,399
I'm angry!

233
00:14:21,468 --> 00:14:24,836
It's time for a furious
self-guided tour of this campus.

234
00:14:35,282 --> 00:14:38,116
I've never seen someone
walk the oval so many times.

235
00:14:38,185 --> 00:14:39,551
He's got to be dizzy.

236
00:14:39,619 --> 00:14:42,020
I switch directions every other lap.

237
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,891
- Oh, uh, Michigan sucks.
- What?

238
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,027
That's how we say "excuse me"
around here.

239
00:14:51,231 --> 00:14:54,365
? Loser, loser ?

240
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:57,435
? Loser, loser ?

241
00:14:57,504 --> 00:14:59,204
? Missed opportunity ?

242
00:14:59,272 --> 00:15:01,039
? All over now ?

243
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,174
? You poor bastard. ?

244
00:15:03,243 --> 00:15:05,143
Et Tu, Brutus?

245
00:15:05,212 --> 00:15:06,778
Hey!

246
00:15:06,847 --> 00:15:10,982
Okay, Mother, it's time for
an unpleasant confrontation.

247
00:15:14,321 --> 00:15:16,888
Class, I'm going to hand back
your astronomy papers.

248
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,623
Keep calm. Keep calm.

249
00:15:18,658 --> 00:15:20,825
No one knows you did anything wrong.

250
00:15:20,894 --> 00:15:23,228
Lisa Simpson, come to my desk.

251
00:15:25,165 --> 00:15:27,966
Miss Hoover, I have to confess.
I changed my paper.

252
00:15:28,034 --> 00:15:31,136
It said million,
but I knew it was billion.

253
00:15:31,204 --> 00:15:32,570
Oh, please.

254
00:15:32,639 --> 00:15:36,241
Maybe I can start a new life
in the other second grade class.

255
00:15:37,511 --> 00:15:38,910
I know you changed your paper.

256
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,445
I don't care about your grade.

257
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,180
Where the hell is my nicotine gum?

258
00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:48,253
My brother had it, and he was
hanging around the class pet.

259
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:51,689
I'll get you some more gum.

260
00:15:51,758 --> 00:15:52,891
You do that.

261
00:16:05,739 --> 00:16:07,172
Can I help you?

262
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:08,540
What are you doing here?

263
00:16:08,608 --> 00:16:10,441
Your mother rented me your room.

264
00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:12,844
You rented my room to the town drunk?

265
00:16:12,913 --> 00:16:15,513
I am also the state drunk.

266
00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:18,349
What do you want?

267
00:16:19,419 --> 00:16:21,586
You know?

268
00:16:21,655 --> 00:16:23,087
Yes. Yes, I do.

269
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,156
Oh, son, forgive me.

270
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,758
I'm so sorry.

271
00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:30,495
I just couldn't bear to lose you
like I'd lost everything else.

272
00:16:30,564 --> 00:16:34,032
Oh, I would've arranged for you
to live near me in the dorm.

273
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:36,467
Oh, I can't live in a college town.

274
00:16:36,536 --> 00:16:38,937
Can't control myself sexually.

275
00:16:39,005 --> 00:16:42,574
What you did to me was the worst
thing anyone could do to anyone,

276
00:16:42,642 --> 00:16:44,275
much less a mother to her son.

277
00:16:44,344 --> 00:16:46,144
I really don't know what you could say.

278
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:49,113
Son, I guess when
you get right down to it,

279
00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:53,084
I've always felt marching bands
are a colossal waste of time.

280
00:16:53,119 --> 00:16:55,687
The music and the walking both suffer.

281
00:16:55,755 --> 00:16:56,855
You may have a point.

282
00:16:56,923 --> 00:17:00,225
And you'll always be my little tittle.

283
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,162
- Is that a tear?
- Maybe.

284
00:17:09,002 --> 00:17:10,902
Please, I beg you.

285
00:17:10,971 --> 00:17:12,604
Will you move back in?

286
00:17:12,639 --> 00:17:14,472
There are gonna have to be some changes.

287
00:17:14,507 --> 00:17:16,274
What kind of changes?

288
00:17:16,309 --> 00:17:18,977
Well, I want the parental
controls taken off the TV.

289
00:17:19,012 --> 00:17:21,546
You'll just watch booby programs.

290
00:17:21,615 --> 00:17:23,815
If I'm in the booby mood, yes, I will.

291
00:17:23,884 --> 00:17:25,884
Welcome back, son.

292
00:17:25,952 --> 00:17:28,386
Looks like I got a little brother!

293
00:17:28,455 --> 00:17:29,888
He's not staying, is he?

294
00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:31,256
You boys work it out.

295
00:17:31,324 --> 00:17:33,591
We sure will, Ma.

296
00:17:37,664 --> 00:17:39,530
You still haven't found Grampa?

297
00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:43,701
No. But I found this guy
who's willing to take his place.

298
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,136
I am Grandpapa.

299
00:17:45,205 --> 00:17:46,971
Gather the grandchildren

300
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,608
that we might play
the Hungry Hungry Hippos.

301
00:17:50,677 --> 00:17:53,611
I don't think anyone can
replace our Grampa.

302
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,313
Are you sure? Your husband...

303
00:17:55,382 --> 00:17:57,782
she looked through
hundreds of grandpapas.

304
00:17:57,851 --> 00:18:00,018
This was my third callback!

305
00:18:00,086 --> 00:18:01,519
Make a choice.

306
00:18:01,588 --> 00:18:03,988
Yello.

307
00:18:04,057 --> 00:18:07,392
Is this the no-good ungrateful
son of Abraham Simpson?

308
00:18:07,427 --> 00:18:09,394
- Speaking.
- I'm gonna send him back to you,

309
00:18:09,429 --> 00:18:11,429
and I don't want to see him here again.

310
00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:13,298
This place is really depressing.

311
00:18:13,366 --> 00:18:15,133
And he does not help.

312
00:18:15,201 --> 00:18:18,269
There's a pathetic old drunk
peeing himself in the bathroom.

313
00:18:18,338 --> 00:18:19,504
That's a mirror.

314
00:18:19,572 --> 00:18:21,940
And it's not the bathroom.

315
00:18:26,813 --> 00:18:28,913
When is Grampa gonna get here?

316
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,048
I knew it.

317
00:18:30,116 --> 00:18:32,617
Still bad-mouthing me behind my back.

318
00:18:32,686 --> 00:18:36,087
I can't believe it,
but I miss him so much.

319
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:38,556
I love him, too.

320
00:18:38,625 --> 00:18:41,192
I just can't say it to his
beautiful shriveled turnip head.

321
00:18:41,227 --> 00:18:42,493
Aw.

322
00:18:42,562 --> 00:18:45,964
I love how he knows
what every building used to be.

323
00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:47,699
And Maggie says...

324
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:53,338
U. R. A. D. Light.

325
00:18:57,744 --> 00:19:01,612
Come get your Grampa,
you sweet slices of melon.

326
00:19:02,649 --> 00:19:04,816
Aw.

327
00:19:04,851 --> 00:19:07,318
Aw, we love you.

328
00:19:07,619 --> 00:19:09,350
_

329
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:10,588
Woo-hoo!

330
00:19:12,111 --> 00:19:13,292
D'oh!

331
00:19:15,828 --> 00:19:16,894
What are you watching?

332
00:19:16,963 --> 00:19:18,429
It's a booby movie, isn't it?

333
00:19:18,498 --> 00:19:20,431
It's Emmy-winning premium cable.

334
00:19:20,466 --> 00:19:21,699
Do they show boobs?

335
00:19:21,768 --> 00:19:23,467
Not since they started winning Emmys.

336
00:19:23,536 --> 00:19:24,668
Very disappointing.

337
00:19:24,737 --> 00:19:26,771
Well, I guess I'll watch with you.

338
00:19:26,839 --> 00:19:28,072
What's that thing?

339
00:19:28,141 --> 00:19:30,174
It's a raven from
the Lannister's Maester.

340
00:19:30,243 --> 00:19:32,710
What's a Lannister? What's a Maester?

341
00:19:32,745 --> 00:19:34,345
House Lannister is the wealthiest...

342
00:19:34,413 --> 00:19:35,846
- Is that a dragon?
- Yes.

343
00:19:35,915 --> 00:19:37,581
This is stupid.

344
00:19:44,991 --> 00:19:47,591
? He walks down the street ?

345
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:50,728
? He falls in a hole, man ?

346
00:19:50,797 --> 00:19:53,030
? Everyone knows Hans Moleman! ?

347
00:19:53,099 --> 00:19:54,099
Who?

348
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:57,101
Nobody knows Hans Moleman.

349
00:19:57,170 --> 00:19:58,170
Next.

350
00:19:58,171 --> 00:20:00,371
I was here first.

351
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:02,441
? In the checkout line ?

352
00:20:02,508 --> 00:20:04,742
? He doesn't even scan ?

353
00:20:04,811 --> 00:20:06,844
? Nobody knows Hans Moleman. ?

354
00:20:06,913 --> 00:20:10,080
I just need my heart pills.

355
00:20:10,149 --> 00:20:12,416
? Nobody knows Hans Moleman. ?

356
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:17,440
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