1
00:00:41,953 --> 00:00:43,125
Time.

2
00:00:46,390 --> 00:00:47,625
Space.

3
00:00:49,218 --> 00:00:50,375
Reality.

4
00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:55,000
It's more than a linear path.

5
00:00:59,703 --> 00:01:04,542
It's a prism of endless possibility,

6
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:10,333
where a single choice can branch
out into infinite realities,

7
00:01:13,042 --> 00:01:16,042
creating alternate worlds
from the ones you know.

8
00:01:19,917 --> 00:01:21,167
I am the Watcher.

9
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,667
I am your guide through
these vast new realities.

10
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:31,917
Follow me and ponder the question...

11
00:01:35,231 --> 00:01:36,606
"What if?"

12
00:01:36,609 --> 00:01:41,671
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
... www.Addic7ed.com ...

13
00:01:50,917 --> 00:01:53,156
For the win. This is it.

14
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,290
And this is it, for the win.

15
00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:01,083
For the win. This is it.

16
00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:04,248
For the...

17
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:07,331
Yes! First try. Jane, you owe me 50...

18
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,165
Uh... Oh! Uh...

19
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:10,956
Uh, Jane, Jane, Jane!

20
00:02:10,958 --> 00:02:12,790
It's beeping! It's doing the beeping!

21
00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:16,456
I need to talk to the
director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

22
00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:17,781
Because, if my data is correct,

23
00:02:17,784 --> 00:02:19,790
I believe an alien
invasion is imminent and...

24
00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:20,873
Hello?

25
00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:25,123
Two years ago, the same
anomaly struck Star Alpha Icarus

26
00:02:25,125 --> 00:02:27,460
and the entire star dimmed
and then, poof, disintegrated.

27
00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:30,466
Yes, I know this is
the Parks Department,

28
00:02:30,468 --> 00:02:32,351
but isn't there something you can do?

29
00:02:32,354 --> 00:02:34,706
Talking about the end
of the world, my dude.

30
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:41,706
They're here.

31
00:02:41,708 --> 00:02:44,208
We're too late. The invasion has begun.

32
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,289
- Holy moly!
- Oh!

33
00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:57,831
Citizens of Midgard...

34
00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:02,790
...your dull lives are
about to come to an end.

35
00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:05,140
Prepare yourselves...

36
00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:11,290
for the party prince!

37
00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:17,665
This is gonna be awesome. Whoo!

38
00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:19,790
More than battles won or lost,

39
00:03:19,792 --> 00:03:22,665
it's relationships that
truly define a hero.

40
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:25,873
The people who shape
them, their stories.

41
00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:29,581
Thor and Loki, a brotherhood
so strong and pivotal,

42
00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:32,492
it would change the fate of a universe.

43
00:03:32,495 --> 00:03:36,083
Their childhood taught
Thor many lessons.

44
00:03:37,093 --> 00:03:38,790
But in another universe,

45
00:03:38,792 --> 00:03:42,998
instead of raising the Jotunheim
prince, Loki, as his own son,

46
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,415
Odin returned him to his people.

47
00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:49,203
Without his trickster brother to
keep things, let's say, lively,

48
00:03:49,206 --> 00:03:52,585
Thor grew into a very different prince.

49
00:03:57,708 --> 00:04:00,165
Rest, my love.

50
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:04,476
Allow the Odinsleep to
restore your body and soul.

51
00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:20,373
He's asleep. And, uh...

52
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:23,359
I'm off to my sister's
to celebrate the solstice.

53
00:04:23,362 --> 00:04:27,122
Now, this is your first
taste of kinghood, my prince.

54
00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:28,498
I expect you to study,

55
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,081
read up on the Nine Realms
that you will one day rule.

56
00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:32,290
Of course, Mother.

57
00:04:32,292 --> 00:04:34,290
- No parties.
- Of course, Mother.

58
00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:36,562
Remember, Heimdall will be watching.

59
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,373
Wait, what? You can't be serious.

60
00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:41,458
Behave.

61
00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:50,062
Oh, Heimdall, there you are.

62
00:04:50,065 --> 00:04:53,748
Just off to study. Books
won't read themselves.

63
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,123
But your mother said...

64
00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:56,831
Don't be such a wet blanket, Hogun.

65
00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:59,726
Oh, guys, stop. My father has
ruled Asgard for centuries.

66
00:04:59,729 --> 00:05:02,748
And, look, the most interesting thing
that he's ever done is fall asleep.

67
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:06,414
He only cares about duty and
blah-blah-blah-blah responsibility.

68
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:09,890
Well, I'm not gonna be like him,
right? The boring king? Uh-uh.

69
00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:16,748
But Heimdall sees all. If we
try anything, he'll call Frigga.

70
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,331
Oh, ye of little faith.

71
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:20,581
We are going to the most backward,

72
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:23,831
backwater planet that not even
Heimdall pays attention to.

73
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,250
Alert the realms.

74
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:29,581
Party on Midgard!

75
00:05:29,583 --> 00:05:31,206
Yes!

76
00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:32,623
Huzzah!

77
00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:35,123
To Thor, the party prince!

78
00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:37,290
- Welcome! Welcome, friends.
- Party prince!

79
00:05:37,292 --> 00:05:38,706
Enjoy the night.

80
00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:39,790
Thunder hug.

81
00:05:41,042 --> 00:05:43,328
Here, have a drink. It never runs out.

82
00:05:43,331 --> 00:05:47,373
You try to drink it all, but you
can't because it's magic! Huzzah!

83
00:05:47,375 --> 00:05:51,125
Huzzah! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!

84
00:05:52,292 --> 00:05:55,040
Hollywood movies did
not prepare me for this.

85
00:05:55,042 --> 00:05:58,456
Shouldn't there be more
lasers? Probing? A flying cow?

86
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,623
According to my data,

87
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:02,873
the first extraterrestrial
to arrive was...

88
00:06:02,875 --> 00:06:04,748
Him?

89
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:13,456
Huh. I expected him to look more like...

90
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:17,165
Like what? E.T.? And less like a
hottie McScotty, beach body Ken,

91
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:20,625
old-school Abercrombie
catalog? I could go on. Let me.

92
00:06:20,628 --> 00:06:21,998
I'm gonna go talk to him.

93
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,831
I'm gonna make first
contact with an alien.

94
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:26,331
First? I think half the
Strip beat you to it.

95
00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:27,998
You can make first contact with...

96
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,289
I don't know, that guy.
He looks like a loser.

97
00:06:30,292 --> 00:06:33,498
Ha! Big talk coming from a brunette.

98
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,665
I'm going. How do I look?

99
00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:38,456
Completely unprepared
for whatever happens next.

100
00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:40,456
Oh, do me, do me.

101
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:44,331
Yes, you do me. You do me, and you too.

102
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:47,873
Oh, you guys really get me. Yes?

103
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,415
Huh? Oh.

104
00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:52,165
Oh, there you are,
all the way down there.

105
00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:54,665
So tiny, I almost stood
on you. How are you?

106
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:57,206
I'm Dr. Jane Foster of Earth.

107
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,456
Yeah, Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard.

108
00:06:59,458 --> 00:07:02,165
Uh, libations, crudité, baked goods?

109
00:07:02,167 --> 00:07:04,373
Mmm. Topaz, what do I always say?

110
00:07:04,375 --> 00:07:05,831
- I love cake.
- Mmm.

111
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:07,748
Wait, wait, wait. You're Thor?

112
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,456
As in Thor, the Norse god of thunder?

113
00:07:10,458 --> 00:07:12,507
I don't know anything about horse gods,

114
00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:14,831
but I do know how to bring the thunder.

115
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:17,335
Uh... Okay, moving on.

116
00:07:17,338 --> 00:07:20,498
Eighteen months ago,
Alpha Star Icarus died.

117
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,206
The astronomaly that preceded it...

118
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,331
- ...happened again tonight.
- Don't drink too much.

119
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:26,123
- Or too little.
- Hey, thunder boy.

120
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:28,331
What I'm asking is, was that you?

121
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:31,875
Yes, Alpha Star. Now, that
was an excellent party.

122
00:07:31,878 --> 00:07:34,082
You know, we lost
Fandral for three days.

123
00:07:34,085 --> 00:07:36,998
Found him in a barn, curled
up next to a baby goat.

124
00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:38,956
It was classic. Isn't
that right, Fandral?

125
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,609
I named him Gary.

126
00:07:40,612 --> 00:07:42,373
- Yeah, you did.
- Yeah, goats!

127
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:43,706
You killed a planet.

128
00:07:43,708 --> 00:07:46,265
Oh, what is that light
box thing you've got there?

129
00:07:46,268 --> 00:07:49,141
Oh, it's magic. I love magic. Did
you build this all by yourself?

130
00:07:49,144 --> 00:07:52,955
Excuse me? I happen to be an
astrophysicist with multiple PhDs.

131
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:54,468
You know, it would take a whole team

132
00:07:54,471 --> 00:07:56,455
of Asgardians to create such a thing.

133
00:07:56,458 --> 00:07:59,706
You must be a genius. You
are a genius, aren't you?

134
00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:02,373
Well, I don't know about genius, but...

135
00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:03,956
And your eyes...

136
00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:07,415
Do all geniuses have
such deep, dark eyes?

137
00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:10,706
It's like watching the birth of
two stars on the edge of the galaxy.

138
00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,581
Oh.

139
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:17,123
Well, it's happy hour.
Want some half-price nachos?

140
00:08:17,125 --> 00:08:20,123
Okay, fine, Duck. But
this is not a date.

141
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,906
Let's just see where this evolves.

142
00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:34,790
Huh?

143
00:08:34,792 --> 00:08:35,956
Release the foam.

144
00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:41,331
Blow on these.

145
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:42,890
Momma needs a brand-new eye.

146
00:08:51,208 --> 00:08:54,081
Volstagg has crashed!

147
00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:56,248
I now pronounce you Darcy and the Duck.

148
00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:57,292
Uh-huh

149
00:08:59,548 --> 00:09:01,050
_

150
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:22,540
Ah.

151
00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:24,083
Ah, phone.

152
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:36,098
Ah, phone... Phone! Oh, shut up!

153
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:40,498
Dr. Jane Foster?

154
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,831
Coming. I'm coming.

155
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,706
Dr. Jane Foster!

156
00:09:44,708 --> 00:09:46,333
Hold on.

157
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,915
Dr. Jane Foster, this is S.H.I.E.L.D.

158
00:09:51,768 --> 00:09:53,224
If you do not answer, we will...

159
00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:54,637
Yes?

160
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,721
We have her, ma'am.

161
00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:58,056
Maria Hill, Acting
Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

162
00:09:58,059 --> 00:09:59,934
- You need to come with us.
- Uh...

163
00:10:00,786 --> 00:10:04,123
Can this wait until
after breakfast? 'Cause...

164
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:08,373
You were the first to warn us
about this extraterrestrial threat.

165
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,706
Now I hope you will be
the key to eliminating it.

166
00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:14,645
"Threat"? Would you call
him a threat, really?

167
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:18,790
Do you wanna know why I am the
Acting Director, Dr. Foster?

168
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,123
Nope.

169
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:24,831
Hey, Spicoli. This might be your
party, but this isn't your planet.

170
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,867
Before someone gets hurt, I need...

171
00:10:26,870 --> 00:10:27,958
Ball cannons!

172
00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:32,498
Oh!

173
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,498
- Is he okay?
- He's still unconscious.

174
00:10:35,906 --> 00:10:37,113
We getting food?

175
00:10:37,116 --> 00:10:38,822
Do you have company, Dr. Foster?

176
00:10:38,825 --> 00:10:40,540
Uh... A friend.

177
00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:43,290
Guys, guys, look. There's a
cute little rabbit in the sink.

178
00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:46,165
Oh, look at this little
rabbit. It's gorgeous.

179
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:49,122
He's... a zoologist.
I'll call you, okay?

180
00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:53,456
I told you everything.

181
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:55,665
I followed the anomaly's
origin to Vegas.

182
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,165
And then what did you do?

183
00:10:57,167 --> 00:11:00,456
Um... Uh...

184
00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,801
Director, the party atmosphere
seems to be spreading.

185
00:11:03,888 --> 00:11:07,080
Canada, Mongolia, even
Pennsylvania Dutch country.

186
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,248
Led by the main
instigator, Thor of Asgard,

187
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,831
who's now taken to the skies.

188
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:14,206
What? He left?

189
00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:17,831
Did he... Did he even leave a note at...

190
00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:21,123
I mean, did... Did he
say where he was going?

191
00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:22,706
- Smooth.
- Thanks.

192
00:11:22,708 --> 00:11:24,231
- Sarcasm.
- Paris.

193
00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:28,331
One of his compatriots was, and
I quote, "jonesing for crêpes."

194
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:29,333
Ma'am...

195
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,456
the last resort has arrived.

196
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,581
Whoa, whoa. "Last
resort" sounds very final.

197
00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:38,456
This is Earth's first
encounter with alien life.

198
00:11:38,458 --> 00:11:41,415
How we respond today will set
the tone for diplomatic relations

199
00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:43,415
between our worlds for generations.

200
00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:47,748
"Diplomatic relations"? Is that
what the kids are calling it?

201
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,956
You're wrong, Doctor.

202
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:52,665
This isn't S.H.I.E.L.D.'s
first alien rodeo.

203
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:56,456
A beeper? My dad has
one! He's a podiatrist.

204
00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:59,540
Wait, are you guys calling a podiatrist?

205
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:02,625
It's done.

206
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:07,998
Is it happening? Did it
happen? What'd I miss?

207
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,629
All right, here we go. Nestle on in.

208
00:12:09,632 --> 00:12:12,790
- Everyone say "waffles." I love that word.
- Cheese.

209
00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:14,956
Waffles with maple syrup
and whipped cream on top.

210
00:12:14,958 --> 00:12:16,040
- Thor!
- Thor!

211
00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:17,915
He came! He's here!

212
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:22,167
Oi! Where's that son of
a witch, Thor Odinson?

213
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,206
What did you say?

214
00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:30,165
Fandral, tell me, is that butt-ugly
popsicle stick talking to me?

215
00:12:39,396 --> 00:12:41,580
- Bring it on in.
- I can't believe you came!

216
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:43,348
Loki, you are the absolute best!

217
00:12:43,351 --> 00:12:45,830
You're my brother from another
mother, man. I mean that.

218
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,706
- I mean it.
- Brothers forever.

219
00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:49,623
Brothers forever!

220
00:12:49,625 --> 00:12:50,998
Forever!

221
00:12:52,292 --> 00:12:54,379
Wait, what's that boom? Did you boom?

222
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,528
No, I didn't boom. Did
you boom? You always boom.

223
00:12:56,531 --> 00:12:59,123
I never boom. I only boom in private.

224
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:02,623
Oh, oh, oh. Loki, look, it's a
shooting star. Make a wish, quick!

225
00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:05,292
Yes, yes, a shooting star.
Yes, okay. I wish... I wish...

226
00:13:05,316 --> 00:13:06,768
_

227
00:13:06,792 --> 00:13:09,417
I wish, I wish, I wish... I wish...

228
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,915
- Uh... I've got it!
- What is it? Tell me.

229
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:16,706
I couldn't possibly tell
you. It'll ruin the magic.

230
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:17,762
Oh.

231
00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:28,950
Hey, Whitesnake. We need to chat.

232
00:13:28,953 --> 00:13:34,705
The name is Thor, with a "T"
and an "R" and an "O" and a "H."

233
00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:35,915
But not in that order.

234
00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:38,665
- Quite some party you're throwing.
- Isn't it the best?

235
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:41,123
I mean, I'd hoped the
Ice Bros would show,

236
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:43,165
but Loki himself? Prince Loki?

237
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:45,498
Are you kidding? I wouldn't
miss this for the world.

238
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,498
Listen, bud, clean up this
mess and leave this planet.

239
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:51,098
What? No, I like it
here. Everyone likes me.

240
00:13:51,101 --> 00:13:53,581
We're having a great
time... till you showed up.

241
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,415
Party's over, pal.

242
00:13:55,417 --> 00:14:00,250
Mmm. Yeah, maybe here's a thought.
Uh, how about you just buzz off?

243
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:05,750
Oh!

244
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,415
I wasn't asking, hotshot.

245
00:14:14,917 --> 00:14:18,706
You know, there's a Midgardian
word for women like you.

246
00:14:20,375 --> 00:14:22,498
Party pooper.

247
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,456
There. I said it.

248
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:26,958
Okay, this one's for Fury.

249
00:14:31,417 --> 00:14:32,748
Now, for the rest of you...

250
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:42,915
Have at you!

251
00:14:42,917 --> 00:14:45,206
Smooth move, bro. You just...

252
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,915
Hammerang. Get it?

253
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:49,290
Look, pal, I'm gonna count to three

254
00:14:49,292 --> 00:14:51,123
and you're gonna put the hammer down.

255
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,125
Oh, here we go. Here we go.

256
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,417
Hey, what did I tell you? Knock it off.

257
00:15:08,729 --> 00:15:09,839
_

258
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:23,540
Whoa.

259
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,998
Hey, quit it. These are...

260
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,817
I don't know what these are. No one
does. But... No! I said no! Stop.

261
00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:33,145
Oh, but I just have to do a little boop.

262
00:15:42,238 --> 00:15:45,789
Oh, no, your weird rocks
have all fallen over.

263
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:48,081
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

264
00:15:52,596 --> 00:15:54,677
_

265
00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:03,770
Party foul.

266
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:10,123
Be right with you. Just one second.

267
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:13,373
Ah, there it is. Whoo! Let's do this.

268
00:16:52,754 --> 00:16:54,715
You know, I'm starting to...

269
00:16:54,718 --> 00:16:56,759
Ow! Not the hair!

270
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:07,458
Have at you!

271
00:17:42,242 --> 00:17:43,323
You know what you need?

272
00:17:43,326 --> 00:17:45,955
A stiff drink and two weeks in Hawaii?

273
00:17:45,958 --> 00:17:47,248
A time-out.

274
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:48,894
My mother punished me with time-outs all

275
00:17:48,896 --> 00:17:50,540
the time, but I never learned a thing.

276
00:17:50,542 --> 00:17:54,831
But maybe they'll work on you
because you're a party pooper.

277
00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:57,373
Hey, look, everyone! A party pooper.

278
00:17:57,375 --> 00:18:00,418
Pooper! Pooper! Pooper!

279
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,206
Fury said you were the best.

280
00:18:07,208 --> 00:18:10,456
That your punch was equal
to ten nuclear bombs.

281
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:12,790
That your cat could devour whole armies.

282
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,754
You've got a cat? What's its name?

283
00:18:14,757 --> 00:18:18,165
- Goose.
- Oh, Top Gun! You're Maverick!

284
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,581
Is your ego writing checks
that your skills can't cash?

285
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:22,331
- No.
- Yes.

286
00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:24,831
- Who are you?
- Darcy. Big fan.

287
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:27,540
By the way, totally thought you
were gonna be a dude captain.

288
00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:29,673
But look at you, all not.

289
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:32,831
If I exert my full powers, I
blow a crater in this planet.

290
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:36,123
Taking down Kappa Kappa frat freak
won't be worth the fatalities.

291
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:37,998
Ooh. What about South Dakota?

292
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,706
Or North Dakota?

293
00:18:39,708 --> 00:18:42,198
- _
- Uh... I need to get this.

294
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,581
So, uh, do you need an
intern? Cat wrangler?

295
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,831
Darcy, right now, you're
running at an eight,

296
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,748
and I need you to
take it down to a four.

297
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,206
Okay?

298
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:52,456
- Hello?
- Jane!

299
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,231
- Hey!
- When can I see you again?

300
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:57,498
You're the nicest, prettiest
Midgardian woman I've ever met.

301
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,373
How many Earth women have you met?

302
00:18:59,375 --> 00:19:01,373
Uh, two. But the other
one hit me with a bridge

303
00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:03,081
and, well, that hurt more than my face.

304
00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:07,581
Thor, be honest with me.

305
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:11,373
At your last party on Alpha Star,
did you really destroy that planet?

306
00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:14,200
No, no, it was more of a
meteor anyway, not a planet.

307
00:19:14,203 --> 00:19:17,373
And it was burning apart, so we
just kinda helped it along and...

308
00:19:17,375 --> 00:19:18,581
So no one got hurt?

309
00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:19,956
- Of course not.
- Dr. Foster?

310
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:22,290
Even the baby goat,
Gary, got home safely.

311
00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:23,790
- Eventually.
- Dr. Foster.

312
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,831
Uh, I gotta go. Love you. Oh.

313
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:27,540
I mean, bye.

314
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,248
What were we talking about?

315
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:32,123
Look, all I'm saying is,

316
00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:34,790
no one would notice if
you blew up a Dakota.

317
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:36,290
Honestly, I can't tell them apart.

318
00:19:36,292 --> 00:19:37,915
South Dakota is on the bottom.

319
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:39,206
It's not a bad idea.

320
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:41,081
The Mojave Desert
could withstand the hit.

321
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:43,790
Lure him to Siberia and
then go kaboom on his ass.

322
00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:47,872
You're not serious. We're
not gonna kaboom him.

323
00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:49,706
We're talking about
the fate of the planet.

324
00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:52,998
He's a lughead, sure, and far from
the brightest crayon in the box.

325
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:57,331
But this plan is way over the
top, and I refuse to let it happen.

326
00:19:57,333 --> 00:20:00,540
Thank you for your
expertise, Dr. Foster,

327
00:20:00,542 --> 00:20:03,415
but your assistance
is no longer required.

328
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:09,623
Damn! There goes my internship
with the Galactic Queen Bee.

329
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:14,665
Well, look who came
waddling back. Mrs. the Duck.

330
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:17,123
- Not now, Howard!
- Hello, Thor?

331
00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:18,956
- Who's this?
- It's Jane. Can you hear me?

332
00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:22,331
Wait. Is this the girl?
Thor's new sweet lady? Hello.

333
00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:23,456
Is Thor there?

334
00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:27,331
Late-night Chinese is
the best. Oh, I love food.

335
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:30,290
Loki, get your blue butt over here.
You have to try these dumplings.

336
00:20:30,292 --> 00:20:33,540
Hey, Earth girl. You haven't
got a friend, have you?

337
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:35,415
You know, we could double date.

338
00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:38,165
Ugh! Will you just put him on the phone?

339
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:40,607
Oh, don't get your knickers in
a twist. He's right here... Oh!

340
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:46,248
Oh. Right.

341
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,040
Hello? Loki?

342
00:20:48,042 --> 00:20:51,206
Hey, hey. Watch the feathers.

343
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,614
- Too bad we can't call his mom.
- What?

344
00:20:53,617 --> 00:20:54,811
That's what always happens.

345
00:20:54,814 --> 00:20:57,104
Teenagers throw a party,
it gets out of control...

346
00:20:57,107 --> 00:20:59,248
- Oh, you really are a genius.
- Whoa.

347
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:02,581
It's really starting to look
that way, isn't it? What'd I say?

348
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:04,958
If there's a Thor and a Loki,

349
00:21:04,961 --> 00:21:09,520
then there must be an Odin
and a Frigga and a Heimdall!

350
00:21:09,523 --> 00:21:10,792
Uh, he-man-who-now?

351
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,458
You know, I've got a crown too,

352
00:21:17,461 --> 00:21:20,231
and we both like fire, right?

353
00:21:20,234 --> 00:21:22,665
Come on. Let's see you turn
up the heat on this thing.

354
00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:25,708
Uh... Ooh, look at the time.

355
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:33,498
How low can I go?

356
00:21:40,083 --> 00:21:43,498
Everyone! Watch me slide
down that pointy thing.

357
00:21:46,126 --> 00:21:47,528
And away!

358
00:21:49,417 --> 00:21:51,790
Whoo!

359
00:22:02,542 --> 00:22:07,040
This one goes here. Green in the
thing. Okay, sweet. Good to go.

360
00:22:07,042 --> 00:22:08,206
Selvig, thank you.

361
00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:11,333
Re-aligning the satellites,
magnifying the signal.

362
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,292
Heimdall!

363
00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:20,331
- It's not working.
- Okay, okay. My turn. I got this.

364
00:22:20,333 --> 00:22:23,667
Would the owner of
the navy blue Prius...

365
00:22:38,208 --> 00:22:41,887
Hi. So, uh, about Thor...

366
00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:51,042
Not cool. I actually felt that one.

367
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,956
- We're in position.
- Arm the nukes.

368
00:22:58,958 --> 00:23:00,950
What? But I thought she was the nuke.

369
00:23:00,953 --> 00:23:03,125
Just in case she gets
distracted by a cat.

370
00:23:05,167 --> 00:23:10,665
Uh... Hello, Mrs. Odinwife?

371
00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:12,498
Uh, is that Chardonnay?

372
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:15,373
A varietal, yes. Can I help you?

373
00:23:15,375 --> 00:23:18,123
Why do you insist on crushing my mellow?

374
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:20,542
Huh? Loosen up. Have
fun. Smile a little.

375
00:23:21,792 --> 00:23:23,290
Ready to fire on your command.

376
00:23:23,292 --> 00:23:25,248
Fire in five...

377
00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:28,665
I gave you a warning. Hell,
I gave you a warning punch.

378
00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:31,333
- Four.
- It's Thor. He's in trouble.

379
00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:35,731
- Three.
- He's on Earth.

380
00:23:35,734 --> 00:23:36,950
Two.

381
00:23:38,958 --> 00:23:40,956
- What about Captain Marvel?
- She'll be fine.

382
00:23:40,958 --> 00:23:42,458
One.

383
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:50,465
Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard, only
son of Odin, what are you doing?

384
00:23:50,468 --> 00:23:52,001
- Mother!
- Mother?

385
00:23:52,004 --> 00:23:53,290
Mother?

386
00:23:53,292 --> 00:23:54,706
What are you doing here?

387
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:57,706
You must be using a lot of dark
magic just to check in on me.

388
00:23:57,708 --> 00:24:01,248
Ugh, I had a visitor.
She's worried about you.

389
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,706
Wha... Jane sold me out?

390
00:24:03,708 --> 00:24:05,623
She said you were on Midgard.

391
00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:07,415
Well, she is mistaken.

392
00:24:07,417 --> 00:24:10,748
I'm obviously in my room, studying.

393
00:24:13,792 --> 00:24:17,456
Do not tell falsehoods to your mother.

394
00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:21,665
Oh, you mean Earth.
Sorry, I misunderstood.

395
00:24:21,667 --> 00:24:24,715
The locals call it
that. Yes, right. Sorry.

396
00:24:24,718 --> 00:24:26,356
Confused there for a moment.

397
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:30,998
Me and my study group came down
here for a cultural exchange.

398
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,129
"Cultural exchange."

399
00:24:33,132 --> 00:24:35,789
You know us. We're
warriors for knowledge.

400
00:24:35,792 --> 00:24:39,498
Hmm. Really? Then this
I have to see for myself.

401
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:41,456
I'm cutting my trip short.

402
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:42,831
You're coming here?

403
00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:48,458
And, my sweet son, I expect to see
your full syllabus when I arrive.

404
00:24:49,660 --> 00:24:51,658
Now or never, Hill.

405
00:24:51,661 --> 00:24:53,540
Stand down. We're done here.

406
00:24:53,542 --> 00:24:56,248
We never get to fire the nukes.

407
00:24:56,250 --> 00:24:58,040
I almost feel bad for you, Blondie.

408
00:24:58,042 --> 00:25:01,040
Please, you must help
me. My mother is coming.

409
00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:04,708
My suggestion? Start in the
corners, clean your way outward.

410
00:25:07,083 --> 00:25:08,248
Corners, corners...

411
00:25:08,250 --> 00:25:11,248
But it's a sphere.

412
00:25:11,250 --> 00:25:15,875
Ugh. Excuse me, ladies. I'm sorry,
but I must leave early. Again.

413
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:20,040
Loki, my brother. I
require your assistance.

414
00:25:20,042 --> 00:25:22,373
Ah, one step ahead of you, Tiny Thunder.

415
00:25:22,375 --> 00:25:25,606
My bro's trying this thing in
St. Louis. Saint... Is it "Louie"?

416
00:25:25,609 --> 00:25:26,934
Anyway, we're about to make

417
00:25:26,937 --> 00:25:29,856
this universe's greatest slingshot.

418
00:25:29,859 --> 00:25:31,982
Try to enjoy the rest of your time here.

419
00:25:31,985 --> 00:25:34,739
See you in another
thousand years. Heimdall.

420
00:25:36,117 --> 00:25:38,136
No more slingshots. No more destruction.

421
00:25:38,139 --> 00:25:40,158
We need to clean this
mess up and go home.

422
00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:43,667
Ugh! Now!

423
00:25:44,833 --> 00:25:48,040
Ha! Nice one. Almost fell for it.

424
00:25:48,042 --> 00:25:50,875
I'm not joking. My mother is coming.

425
00:25:57,125 --> 00:25:58,206
Hmm.

426
00:25:58,208 --> 00:25:59,790
But she's not my mother.

427
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:02,373
You know, I'm your brother
from another mother, remember?

428
00:26:02,375 --> 00:26:04,915
Come on, Ice Bros, let's go.

429
00:26:04,917 --> 00:26:06,831
Wait. You can't leave.
Look at this place.

430
00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:09,415
We have a duty to this planet.
You need to clean it up.

431
00:26:09,417 --> 00:26:12,206
"Duty, clean"? Ugh, you sound like Odin.

432
00:26:12,208 --> 00:26:13,373
What?

433
00:26:13,375 --> 00:26:14,950
Ice Men, let's bounce.

434
00:26:18,375 --> 00:26:20,206
All right, listen, party's over.

435
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:23,290
You don't have to go
home, but you can't stay.

436
00:26:23,292 --> 00:26:25,122
Wait, where you going? Come back.

437
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,331
No, no, no, no, no.

438
00:26:26,334 --> 00:26:29,416
You do have to stay here,
and we need to clean up.

439
00:26:29,419 --> 00:26:31,708
Look who's pooping the party now.

440
00:26:31,711 --> 00:26:34,456
It is you! You are pooping the party.

441
00:26:34,458 --> 00:26:35,915
Where you going? Come back!

442
00:26:35,917 --> 00:26:38,290
Let's go, Topaz. We
shall ride like the wind.

443
00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:39,665
- Please! Wait.
- Loser.

444
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:41,373
And we're keeping the scoot-scoots.

445
00:26:41,375 --> 00:26:44,706
Guys, please. Help,
I... You. How about you?

446
00:26:44,708 --> 00:26:48,040
Uh... I think I hear my
dad calling. Good luck.

447
00:26:53,292 --> 00:26:57,623
People. Beings. Please,
everyone, you must stay and help.

448
00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:02,958
Allfather, give me strength.

449
00:27:08,375 --> 00:27:10,415
You will listen to me.

450
00:27:12,292 --> 00:27:14,206
My mother is coming.

451
00:27:14,208 --> 00:27:18,081
- Frigga?
- And she is not happy.

452
00:27:18,083 --> 00:27:20,290
Like, at all.

453
00:27:20,292 --> 00:27:21,583
She's really mad.

454
00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:39,208
Yeah, baby.

455
00:27:48,838 --> 00:27:49,757
_

456
00:27:49,768 --> 00:27:51,421
_

457
00:28:02,036 --> 00:28:03,167
Thor.

458
00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:09,165
Oh, hello, Mother. Good to see
you. Welcome to our study group.

459
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:11,081
Uh...

460
00:28:11,083 --> 00:28:13,081
Everyone say hello to Mother.

461
00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:14,790
Hello, Mother Frigga.

462
00:28:14,792 --> 00:28:17,581
And to end our studies,
what do we always say, class?

463
00:28:17,583 --> 00:28:19,500
Learning is magic.

464
00:28:20,792 --> 00:28:24,456
See? I told you I was on an
educational and cultural exchange.

465
00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:27,542
Did you know that Midgard is
the birthplace of the Snuggie?

466
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:32,083
Mother, you doubt?

467
00:28:34,125 --> 00:28:36,375
But look at all this learning, huh?

468
00:28:43,624 --> 00:28:46,955
Thor, here's the information you
requested on human civilizations.

469
00:28:46,958 --> 00:28:50,956
And I loaded a few documentaries,
PBS specials, NPR podcasts.

470
00:28:50,958 --> 00:28:52,706
I'll call you next week to discuss it.

471
00:28:52,708 --> 00:28:58,373
So tiny yet contains
so, so much. Thank you.

472
00:28:58,375 --> 00:29:00,581
You must be Frigga. I'm Captain Marvel.

473
00:29:00,583 --> 00:29:05,373
I know who you are. Thank you
for helping educate my son.

474
00:29:05,375 --> 00:29:07,081
- Let's go, darling.
- Wait.

475
00:29:07,083 --> 00:29:09,167
Almost forgot.

476
00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:14,123
Uh...

477
00:29:14,125 --> 00:29:15,540
Mother, I can explain.

478
00:29:25,125 --> 00:29:26,873
- Hi.
- Thanks.

479
00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:28,581
You called my mother on me.

480
00:29:28,583 --> 00:29:30,248
That wasn't a cool thing to do,

481
00:29:30,250 --> 00:29:33,215
but it was the right
thing. So, thank you.

482
00:29:34,667 --> 00:29:35,998
You're welcome.

483
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,498
I'll call you? Cools?

484
00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:40,540
No, it is not "cools."

485
00:29:40,542 --> 00:29:41,831
No?

486
00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:44,873
But I thought we had something.
I really like you, Jane.

487
00:29:44,875 --> 00:29:46,583
And not just because you're a genius.

488
00:29:46,586 --> 00:29:48,540
You're also very attractive and...

489
00:29:48,542 --> 00:29:50,290
Well, then, ask me out on a date.

490
00:29:50,292 --> 00:29:51,790
Oh.

491
00:29:51,792 --> 00:29:55,706
Jane Foster, it would be my
honor to take you on a date.

492
00:29:55,709 --> 00:29:57,794
Before you answer, let me say that I

493
00:29:57,797 --> 00:30:00,873
know a whole planet full of unicorns.

494
00:30:00,875 --> 00:30:02,623
Even the waiters are unicorns...

495
00:30:02,625 --> 00:30:05,559
- It's wonderful.
- Sounds delightful. Pick me up at 8:00?

496
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:19,831
A world restored, love blossoming.

497
00:30:19,833 --> 00:30:24,081
As children, both human
and Asgardian, say,

498
00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:27,917
together, they lived happily ever after.

499
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,081
Wait, what?

500
00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:31,083
Huh?

501
00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:39,708
Oh, dear. Perhaps I spoke too soon.

502
00:30:50,042 --> 00:30:55,926
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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