Our old pal turned superstar, Josie McCoy, had come and gone.
Leaving us all to our haunted existences.
No one more so, than Archie Andrews.
The guilt over the deaths of his platoon members
hanging on him like a shroud.
Veronica Lodge was also being haunted,
by a flesh and blood mistake from her past.
_
- What, Chad? - I have some great news.
I'm going to be able to pay back all the funds I "borrowed" in one fell swoop.
I've been working on a little something-something quietly,
but it's about to go public and with that comes a big payday.
Considering you always screw things up,
no, Chad.
I don't want or need your help.
Besides, at the rate Pearls and Posh is going,
I'll have all of our investors' accounts restored in a month.
At which point, I'll divorce your ass so fast, your head will spin.
Goodbye, Chad.
Brothers and sisters, thank you for joining us today.
To conclude, Brother Kevin and I will be performing a medley
from the iconic musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
Stop!
I've just had...
a revelation.
Okay?
Jason himself commands it.
No more singing.
Really?
As you know, he was a young man of few words.
Hi, my name is Jughead Jones.
And I am seven days sober.
I'm ready to start my apology tour.
- Hey, Alice. - Hey, Jughead.
Betty's not here.
She's working the Lonely Highway, doing God-knows-what.
Yeah, that's okay. Will you just tell her I stopped by?
Sure.
You guys seen this crap? Front page of today's Brave and True.
General Taylor is retiring with full honors,
and a 21-gun farewell salute.
Doesn't that burn you after the crap that he pulled?
- I thought you said Taylor was under investigation. - He was.
A reporter from the Times was looking into some dirty missions
the General orchestrated. Like ours, Eric.
So I called her. And apparently her editor killed the story, not enough evidence, she said.
Maybe take that as a sign, Sarge.
Let it go. Move on.
Like hell.
You missed weeks of work, Mr. Jones.
You didn't even arrange for a substitute.
I know. I'm sorry, Waldo. I really am.
I was going through some really intense personal stuff.
Look I'm just trying to get my life back together.
And when you do, maybe we can have you teach again.
But right now, consider yourself on administrative leave.
Pearls and Posh, this is Lodge.
Ms. Lodge? This is Diane Nelson. I'm an agent with the SEC.
We'd like to schedule a time to come in and review your books and finances.
Why is that?
To ensure that Pearls and Posh is not engaged in any financial malfeasance.
Can we plan on tomorrow?
I'm travelling tomorrow.
Can we try top of next week?
Sure, top of next week is good. I'll follow up with an email.
Great. See you then.
The SEC wants to look at our books, which are...
- Not yet kosher. - Yes.
It had to have been Chad who tipped them off.
Wouldn't he be torpedoing himself, too?
What he wants is for me to ask for his help,
so he can balance our books before the SEC reviews them.
But I'd rather go to white-collar jail than do that.
What we need is an influx of cash.
My mind turns to...
- My father. - What? Like a short-term loan?
Remember those escaped prisoners,
who were convinced my father had a stash of palladium?
If we got our hands on that,
we could sell it and finish repaying what Chad stole in my name.
If it was in his safe, he would've moved it. But...
I have an idea who might know where.
Your old man's been in touch with Hermosa.
She's still in deep with him.
- I'll call her. - Actually...
Let me.
While you were at Barnard...
we...
had a...
- thing. - What kind of thing?
You know what kind.
Hey, baby. Long time, no talk.
Yeah.
I miss you so much.
Why does my demon of a mother always have to rain on my parade?
You're young, beautiful and a star. And she isn't.
Which is why you need to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
that there is no higher authority than you within this ministry.
You're not wrong.
So how do we put Mumsie in the shade forever?
It's all about showmanship, Cheryl.
You need to upstage your mother.
Little-known fact,
if you perform three miracles,
you qualify for sainthood.
Being canonized has always been one of my life goals.
Go on.
In junior high, I was obsessed with David Copperfield.
The magician, so...
let's just say, I may have a trick or two up my sleeve.
I hope you have at least three, Brother Kevin.
I need my halo and my wings.
That was some call, Reggie.
How's Hermosa doing?
A better question...
Did she, just tell me, where the palladium is?
The answer is yes.
You're carrying a heavy weight, Archie.
And it's not going to get any lighter unless you share the burden, so...
What happened over there?
You ready to tell me?
We were ordered into a fire zone
to deliver medical supplies to civilians.
But that mission was just a cover-up.
General Taylor was determined to take down a warlord controlling that region.
A chance to get that final star on his uniform.
When he gave me the order, I pushed back.
I told him we weren't a strike-force
and that it was a suicide mission.
Taylor didn't back down, so I caved.
And, sure enough, we were lambs to the slaughter.
My platoon got caught in some trenches.
We needed air support. We couldn't get any signal.
Someone needed to reach higher ground. So I told my men that I would go.
I thought that I was protecting them because I was taking the risk.
But when I got back...
Everyone was dead.
Except Bingo.
Who died before the choppers reached us and Eric lost his leg.
And now Taylor's walking away with honors.
That's not right.
- That's not right, Uncle Frank. - I know, it's not.
But the Army's just gonna circle the wagons around the General.
I wish I could tell you this was a war you could win.
- But I just don't know that it is. - Yeah, maybe not.
But it's a war worth fighting.
I'm going to do everything that I can to take Taylor down.
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Lucky your father didn't change all the security codes after he fired me.
Lucky he doesn't keep his palladium in a vault in a bank.
Jackpot.
We have to give Hermosa a cut of whatever we make.
But if we can sell the palladium off-market,
our profit should be enough to fill in where we're short.
Question is, how do we sell it?
Well, first...
We have to smelt the palladium into something new and unrecognizable.
I'm thinking Spanish doubloons.
Then I'll host an auction, but for that to work,
there's one more person we need to bring in on our scheming.
What do you think, Cheryl?
I think one can never have too many spider brooches.
So, yes, I'll help you, Veronica.
Perfect.
As I said, I'm hosting an exclusive, by-invitation-only auction.
The centerpiece of which will be some palladium doubloons, I've acquired.
Some of my guests have been asking about the palladium's origins
and I wanna say that it came from your mines.
Not a problem. I'm always happy to let you name-drop my family,
in order to screw over your father.
Now, if that's all. I'll be on my merry way.
Kevin and I are performing our first miracle today.
- Hey, Samm. - Finally!
You've been ducking my calls for days.
- Yeah, I know, sorry I've been... - Save your excuses.
The publisher is demanding your manuscript ASAP.
If you don't deliver, you will be blackballed, you understand?
Your career will be over. Over.
I have pages, I'll send them to you by the end of the day, I promise.
This is your last chance, kiddo.
Okay? Don't disappoint me.
Hey, so...
Before you say anything else. I just... I wanna apologize.
I promised to keep an eye on you while you were tripping
and the moment things got weird I just...
- I abandoned you. - You didn't do anything wrong.
I never should've even put you in that position.
And I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry that I dropped off the face of the earth,
and that I made you worry. I'm just sorry for everything, really.
It's okay.
I forgive you.
Great, so...
Not to relive that horrible night.
But, I dimly recall
writing something that resembled a novel,
before I yanked my hand out of the handcuffs.
- Jughead, you did write your book that night. - I did?
- Well, that's great. Do you know where it is? - Yeah...
Betty, gave it to Jessica when she asked for it.
But why would Betty... Why would she do that?
Jess was trying to heal and move on with her life.
So, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
Okay.
I'm really, really sorry.
But, Jughead, your sobriety is what's most important right now.
I don't think that you should reach out to Jessica. I think that could be triggering.
And if writing is going to stress you out,
then maybe you should ask your agent for another extension.
I don't have any more time, Tabitha.
I either write something new or...
I'm not a writer anymore.
If I ever was.
Instead of my usual homily...
I thought today, we might all benefit from a demonstration
of my absolute authority in this ministry.
To that end, as Jesus once changed water...
into wine,
Jason has granted me the ability to turn water...
into...
Maple syrup.
The nectar of the gods.
Truly.
General Taylor.
Sergeant Andrews.
I take it you're not here to congratulate me.
No, sir. We both know the truth, General.
You sent me and my men into a war zone
without adequate support or intel.
And because of your recklessness, good men died.
You're dishonoring the military by pretending to be some kind of hero.
So...
I'm asking you, soldier to soldier,
to stand down and retire quietly.
"Soldier to soldier"?
You're just a kid from some podunk town
who joined the military on a whim.
You might as well have gone backpacking through Europe.
You don't understand the Army or how it works
and you certainly don't know what it means to be a real soldier.
Don't cross me. You will regret it.
My men...
paid for your order, with blood.
If you don't step down, General.
I'll demand a military tribunal.
And I'll tell them everything.
Then I'll be forced to put forth my version of events.
Highlighting how you, Sergeant Andrews, went rogue
and led your platoon directly into an ambush.
There is no paper trail to support your claim.
So, as I said before,
it's my word against yours.
Pursue this
and you'll be a traitor.
No.
You're the traitor, General.
I buried good men because of you.
I won't bury the truth any longer.
Regardless of the consequences.
Taylor left us no choice.
He won't back down, so we need to step up and take him out.
I don't know, Sarge.
The trial would reopen a lot of wounds.
Especially for the families of those other guys.
We have to think about them and what they would want us to do.
So let's say this...
I won't go after the General,
unless I have the support and approval of our platoon's families.
How does that sound?
Would you mind reading my novel?
And if you like it, maybe you could give it to your agent.
_
My son trusted you.
And you didn't protect him.
And now you expect us to go through a trial?
To relive his death all over again?
Ma'am, I know what Travis stood for.
What he believed in.
He fought for ideals like truth and justice.
For betterment and human dignity.
He sacrificed his life for those things.
Let me ask you...
do you sleep soundly at night, Sergeant?
Because I don't. Not since the moment...
I received that folded-up flag.
Know why?
Because you were supposed to bring my Travis back to me.
And now, for the main event,
a collection of doubloons smelted from grade A palladium
excavated from the Blossom mines.
With that in mind, let's begin at...
$150,000 to the gentleman in the fedora.
Do I have 170?
170? No, 180?
No, $190,000 to the madam in the front row.
Shall we go to two?
$200,000 to Mr. Sand. Do I have 225?
Do I have 250?
250. 275.
290, against you, Mr. Sand.
Three hundred. That's $300,000 for these precious doubloons.
Going once, going twice...
Sold to Mr. Sand for $300,000!
What a coup for such rare wonders.
Excuse me.
You know, it's almost as if
you wanted to sell those doubloons to Mr. Sand for less,
just so I wouldn't get the palladium.
But that would be so petty and ridiculous of you, wouldn't it?
In fact, that's exactly what I did, Daddy.
Next time,
don't crash my auction.
You know, I never wanted Jim to join the Army.
I was afraid that he wouldn't even make it through basic training.
But he really believed that he had a duty to protect and serve his country
and that there was no greater honor than that.
There isn't. No.
And Jim knew what he was fighting for.
I remember, I was...
incredibly relieved...
when he started sending me letters about you, Sergeant Andrews.
About the kind of leader you were, so, yes...
whatever you feel is right, you should do.
You have my full support.
You've already witnessed one miracle.
Now, brothers and sisters,
watch in wonder as Cheryl manifests
the collective pain of our congregation.
Behold! Her alabaster hands!
How they bleed with the blood of the stigmata.
Mimicking the holy wounds of Jason.
Ma'am?
I'd like to honor your husband's memory,
by having General Taylor answer for his actions.
But I'd like to do so with your consent.
To be honest,
I've made peace with what happened, Sergeant Andrews.
I loved Aiden more than anything. We were high school sweethearts.
But my son is my focus now.
I need to start thinking about his future.
Right now, I'm just trying to make it through the day and even that's a struggle.
So, I leave it to you, Sergeant.
Ma'am?
You do what you see fit.
Who knew spreading light and love could be this exhausting?
Yeah, it's the Broadway grind.
Anyway, I got a list of potential third miracles.
Although, my strong preference is that we do the staff and the snake trick.
Though snakes are unquestionably biblical,
I already know what I want my third miracle to be.
Do you remember when I got revenge on Mr. Honey, lo, those many years ago?
When he tried to ban my back-to-school party?
Yeah, but, Cheryl, bees are not in my repertoire.
I'm highly allergic.
Fear not, Kev.
As a girl, Nana Rose, was an avid beekeeper.
She taught me all her apian secrets.
Okay.
_
- What do you want, Chadwick? - I just got wind of your auction.
It pains me to see you so desperate for funds.
So I'm double-checking...
Are you sure you don't want in on my amazing deal?
Surely you've heard of CopterCab.
The helicopter taxis that fly one-percenters
to Marcia's Vineyard for private parties?
- That's you? - It is.
I'm more of a silent partner.
So do want in or not?
Your father's also working with me.
As a matter of fact, I killed it at my auction.
So much so, that all of your swindled investors are paid in full.
Just in time for the SEC, I might add.
So, no, I don't want in on your little scheme.
Well, listen, CopterCab's going public.
And we're celebrating at your father's HQ.
Why don't you come by? Blow off some steam.
You know what? I might just do that.
- Text me the deets, will you? - Happy to.
And we'll toast to the future.
Looking forward to it. Goodbye, Chadwick.
You're partying with that smug nitwit?
- What am I missing? - Me, Reggie.
You're missing the old me.
I've been playing defense, reacting to Chad's every move.
Well, now that I don't have to worry about the SEC,
it's time I go on the offensive,
and take Chad Gekko off the chessboard of my life, once and for all.
And if Daddy gets caught in my crosshairs,
so be it.
Damn.
It's good.
Hey, Jones.
Hey, I finished the novel.
Not a chapter, not a draft, I mean, the whole thing.
It is about a budding young writer at NYU,
just making her way through the world,
having a lot sex and partying.
Sounds terrific.
- Send it to me ASAP. - Yeah, okay.
Keep an eye out for it.
_
You're really going through with this?
Telling our business to a military tribunal?
There's no easy path through this, Eric.
So I'm doing what feels most right.
Going on behalf of myself and the families
that want me to advocate for their brothers, their sons and their fathers.
- And I hope you'll go with me. - You don't understand.
You weren't the only grunt Taylor brought into his tent because of that mission.
He said it was going to be our moment of glory,
and that there'd be a big promotion in it for me.
All I had to do was what I was trained to as a sniper.
Find a clear line of fire and take out that warlord.
In our briefing, General Taylor said
our target was the only thing that mattered.
But my platoon's safety should have been my top priority.
We were vulnerable. And I knew it.
And when you went to call for support,
I left our unit unprotected to carry out General Taylor's orders.
And I got to tell you, Sarge,
a part of me thinks that's why I lost my leg.
As a punishment for how I betrayed you and the others.
No, you didn't do anything wrong.
And I'll keep you out of it, Eric, I swear.
You were used by the General the same way I was.
But you're done fighting, Corporal.
Let me bring this home for you.
It would be my honor.
Behold Cheryl Blossom,
as she prepares her third and final miracle.
The taming of the bees.
Witness as her purity keeps her porcelain skin safe
from these vicious, spiteful creatures.
This is nothing but a farce.
I pray you, do not fall victim to her deceit.
For if you do, this ministry shall become nothing but a sham.
Brothers and sisters, we find ourselves at a crossroads.
- Allow me to be your guide. - Do not listen to this heretic.
Who are you going to put your faith in,
Cheryl, who shared the womb with Jason the Divine,
or her mother, a whoremonger, an escaped convict?
- Lies. Lies, all of it... - Mother, enough!
Begone from my temple,
or I will smite thee.
For I am Cheryl Blossom,
Queen of the Bees.
You look ready for action.
Feels like I'm about to be walking into a firing squad.
Nah, Taylor's the one who should be worried.
You just tell the tribunal the truth.
And I'll be there to back you up.
Eric...
I told you, you don't have to do this.
I couldn't sleep last night thinking.
I left my brothers high and dry once...
and I won't desert you again.
I want to testify. Don't even try to talk me out of it.
I wouldn't dream of it.
Well, boys, we did it.
In exactly one hour, CopterCab will be the publicly-traded
future of aero-entertainment, and we will be even richer men.
Cheers.
Amen to that.
Veronica. What is this?
Chadwick, if you're going to be one of the big boys
you need to party like a big boy.
Isn't that right, Daddy?
So I invited some good-time girls. Hope that's all right.
Differences aside,
CopterCab is a brilliant business idea, Chad.
And for the first time in a long time,
you've impressed me.
But for now...
Who wants some bubbly?
Your mom tells me you're working on the Lonely Highway?
Yeah, by dressing like Polly
and pretending to be a hitchhiker.
Is that safe?
Probably not, Jughead. But I'm running out of ideas, so...
What did you want to talk about?
I wanted to apologize, actually...
for that voicemail that I left.
I don't remember all of it...
or even most of it,
but I know it was horrible.
And...
I'm just sorry.
Why now, after half a decade?
That's one of my steps.
Trying to just clean up my side of the track. And I...
I'm in recovery.
In case it's not obvious.
I'm an alcoholic.
An addict.
I think I'm an addict, too.
Maybe a better word is compulsive
because I can't stop hunting for the Trucker Killer.
I'm on the highway 24/7 when I should be at home
with my mom, taking care of her.
- Yeah, but your sister's missing. - No, it's not that. It's...
It's more than that. And it's sort of been...
my MO lately.
What do you mean?
Even when I was a Yale
I was trying to be a normal freshman.
Go on dates, make friends,
do extracurriculars, but I don't know, it just all felt so...
Empty.
Classic Cooper.
You solved, like, eight mysteries in high school
and you were still valedictorian.
But the void that I was so desperately trying to fill
didn't go away when I got to Quantico.
Which is when I really realized that...
I am more comfortable
studying serial killers
than I am socializing with normal people.
And...
And then I read about TBK.
The Trash Bag Killer.
That was...
That was a nasty piece of work.
That's why I wasn't at your book release party.
I wanted to go, but...
I got the offer that night and I had to choose you
or the TBK task force.
That's all ancient history.
I'm consumed by them.
TBK. The Trucker Killer.
Betty, I think...
you should probably take a break...
from all that, you know?
- Maybe stop hunting for a bit. - I don't think I can.
I'm sorry, can I? Just real quick.
- Hey, Samm... - I just finished your book.
It's incredible! Best thing you've ever written by far.
I can't do this, Samm...
I didn't write that book.
A grad student named Cora gave it to me to read.
Wait a minute. What are you saying to me right now?
That there's no novel?
Not even a wisp.
And a plagiarist, to boot.
Listen...
I know you have some life things going on right now,
but I'm going to have to drop you as a client.
Yeah. I figured as much.
You're a good writer, kid.
I hope you can pull it together.
I'll send you... I'll send you Cora's info.
I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear from you.
Okay.
Sorry, that was...
You really struck a gold mine here.
I should've never doubted you.
- I don't know what I was thinking. - You weren't.
But that's okay.
Because you're here now.
Probably my finest hour.
Gekko, we have a problem.
My Boysenberry's blowing up. There's something wrong with the CopterCab stock.
It's crashing...
No, it could crash... It's in freefall.
What the hell is going on?
Chad, were you in a helicopter crash that you paid to cover up?
'Cause The Wall Beat Journal just published an article about it.
You can't be a part of CopterCab if you crashed a helicopter, Chad.
It's a bad look, yes.
Which is, of course why you were a silent partner.
What did you do?
Planted the story at The Wall Beat Journal with a reporter friend,
then came here to distract you and your entourage
while CopterCab went down in flames.
Veronica, you little...
I'm going to stop you right there, Chad.
Because whatever you think I am,
doesn't come close to what you are.
Which is scum.
A worthless, pathetic little worm.
You stole money from your investors to, what?
Finance CopterCab? But what a surprise.
In the end, you couldn't pull it off.
That's your problem in a nutshell.
You can't land anything.
You'll never be an alpha, Chad.
You're a born beta.
And everybody who invested in this scheme,
you backed a losing horse, boys.
- You too, Daddy. - Please, mija.
I only invested a modest sum in CopterCab.
You may have destroyed these clowns.
But not me.
Daddykins.
You're in for a rude awakening.
Later, when you're alone, give your SoDale model another look-see.
I think you'll find that you've lost much more than you realize.
Come on, ladies.
Let's get out of here. This party's over.
Hey, Jughead. You okay?
I just mentioned free food and you didn't salivate.
Yeah...
just worried about Betty, you know.
Yeah, I can imagine.
But I'm also worried about you.
And your recovery.
I smelled booze on your breath when you came in.
Yeah, I had sort of a backslide.
Jughead, I know that you want to help Betty,
but you need to focus on you.
She's out there alone on the Lonely Highway.
I'm... I'm sure. But don't worry about Betty.
I'll take care of her.
Your priority is you.
Okay?
You know I'm a drunk, right?
I'm a terrible busboy.
Why are you so nice to me?
Because you're my friend.
And I care about you.
So will you promise me that you'll keep going to your meetings?
Yeah. Yes, yes, I promise.
Good.
So tell me, what's going on with Betty?
No, no, no, no.
Hello.
Yeah, this is Archie Andrews.
Okay.
Understood. Thank you so much.
Bye.
Guys, that was a JAG officer with the verdict.
Hurry up, Sarge, before I hurl.
"The tribunal has determined that Corporal Eric Jackson was following the direct
and explicit orders of his commanding officer
and therefore is not guilty of any wrongdoing
and remains in good standing with the US Army."
What about General Taylor?
His actions were determined to be reckless and of poor judgment.
He was driven by his own self-interests
and therefore he's being discharged without honors.
The Army got it right.
So...
It's over?
It's over.
- Tabitha. - Jughead told me what you're doing, Betty.
And it's dangerous and it's reckless.
And no matter what I say, you're not going to stop. I know that.
So...
- I'm going with you. - Come again?
I'm getting changed and I'm going with you.
Oh, and by the way, my participation is not negotiable.
You boys did it!
You should be proud.
I am proud to have served with the bravest men that I've ever known.
Here's to our fallen band of brothers.
To their service, to their sacrifice.
Gone, but never forgotten.
- Never. - Never.
Cheryl,
I have to ask, how did you manage those bees
once they were outside the tank?
Did you rub some special insect-repelling ointment all over your body?
The truth?
I didn't have any ointment on any part of my body.
What are you saying?
Something inside me has shifted, Kevin.
Something powerful,
something... I can't explain.
But...
I'm feeling more connected to things than I have in years.
I'm not saying I'm the first-ever living saint.
But what if I am?
What if I, Cheryl Marjorie Blossom,
am the holiest of holies?
Wouldn't that be miraculous?
My name is Jughead Jones...
I used to be seven days sober, but now, I'm back down to one.
I hope to make it to eight this time.
Tonight, I'm worried about a couple of friends,
but I'm also trying to accept the things I cannot change.
And I'm grateful to you all.
And if there is some higher power,
I hope it's looking down upon them tonight, and keeping them safe.
I don't know why,
but I've got a really bad feeling about what happens next.
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