1
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~

2
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It's alive!

3
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,730
Ah, man, shut the door!
Okay.

4
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,999
Oh, man,
there's so many zombies.

5
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,800
Oh, shit!
Grab the shotgun.

6
00:00:48,870 --> 00:00:50,320
Wait, no, don't!

7
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,110
Huh? What?

8
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,510
Aw, no!
Today's April Fools' Day.

9
00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:57,849
I was going to prank you guys.

10
00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,109
What kind of prank
involves a shotgun?

11
00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:03,519
- I don't know, a gun prank?
- Run!

12
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,650
- We can hide in the closet!
- Wait, don't!

13
00:01:10,190 --> 00:01:13,930
Marcus, April foo...
I'm such an asshole.

14
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,729
Kyle, is this whole house
filled with pranks?!

15
00:01:16,730 --> 00:01:17,869
I am so sorry.

16
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,470
Whoa.

17
00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:22,070
Aah!

18
00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:26,410
Oh, God!
I am the April Fool!

19
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,210
It was me all along!

20
00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:34,820
- I taste hamburger.
- You told me these kids were vegan.

21
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,550
April Fools.

22
00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:39,070
You're a dick.

23
00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:43,490
We will now witness Tyrion
Lannister's trial by combat.

24
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,490
Fighting for the king,
The Mountain!

25
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,359
Fighting on Tyrion's behalf...

26
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,898
that guy.

27
00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:03,180
Looks like a draw to me, Father.

28
00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:08,110
Too many Appletinis last night.

29
00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:12,120
Where am I? And what did I
put my solid snake in?

30
00:02:12,190 --> 00:02:15,260
Shit. Alright,
just remember your training.

31
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,190
Crawl.

32
00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:19,330
Chihuahua?

33
00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:22,960
Tranq gun.
Bang, bang, sleepy.

34
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,200
- Where's the exit?
- The front door is located here.

35
00:02:31,270 --> 00:02:34,340
- Snake?
- Huh? Sleeper hold.

36
00:02:34,410 --> 00:02:36,080
Snake? Snake?

37
00:02:36,140 --> 00:02:38,550
- Decoy.
- Huh?

38
00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:40,810
What is this inflatable shit?

39
00:02:44,420 --> 00:02:45,489
There you are.

40
00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,819
Do you want to have brunch
with my girlfriends?

41
00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:53,190
Where's my
suicide pill when I need it?

42
00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:55,700
Alright, my Smurfs,

43
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,900
we need a new song
about raking up acorns!

44
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,110
Oh, no!

45
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,740
You landed on Boardwalk.
Pay up, bitch.

46
00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:16,890
Do you love Monopoly
but wish it addressed

47
00:03:16,914 --> 00:03:19,080
the historical pay disparity
between men and women?

48
00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:21,880
- What?
- Then meet Ms. Monopoly.

49
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:23,880
Gender pay gap?
Not on my watch.

50
00:03:23,950 --> 00:03:25,219
But I was winning!

51
00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:26,860
And now you can win
in the corporate world

52
00:03:26,884 --> 00:03:30,220
- without having to spread your legs.
- This is a children's game.

53
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:33,420
It's never too early to level
the corporate playing field.

54
00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:36,230
- What?!
- In Ms. Monopoly,

55
00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:38,630
girls start with
more money than the boys.

56
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,830
No hand jobs
in the copy room necessary.

57
00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:42,700
Where's the racecar?
Where's the dog?

58
00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:45,840
I've replaced the phallic
game pieces with tokens

59
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:48,169
representing the female
corporate journey.

60
00:03:48,170 --> 00:03:50,370
A journal, a hand weight,
a wineglass.

61
00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:53,110
Don't like it?
Shove it up your chauvinist ass!

62
00:03:53,180 --> 00:03:54,780
But I'm always the dog.

63
00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:58,320
Honey, with Ms. Monopoly you
could break the glass ceiling

64
00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:01,250
without sitting up
and begging to blow the boss.

65
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,860
I got your glass ceiling right here.

66
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,530
Little tip.
Never blow your boss.

67
00:04:08,590 --> 00:04:10,190
Why are you assuming
my boss is a man?

68
00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:13,660
Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

69
00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:16,730
Were you always this magic, Mike?

70
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,470
Performing a series
of illusions for us tonight, Magic Mike!

71
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:26,140
- Boo, you suck!
- Show us your dick!

72
00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:28,350
Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat!

73
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:31,280
You don't deserve my gift.

74
00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:34,480
Bananas, America sure
is a land of opportunity.

75
00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:36,290
I'm done with this one.
Yoink!

76
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,810
I am minding my own business.

77
00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:41,560
Whoa! I seem to be caught
in some form of comedy.

78
00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:43,053
Don't let me be a bother, gentlemen.

79
00:04:43,054 --> 00:04:44,700
I am only caught up in a bit of comedy.

80
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,429
Ah, this is the zoo
what added a gorilla exhibit.

81
00:04:47,430 --> 00:04:50,030
The comedy approaches
a crescendo, I suspect.

82
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:51,970
And, end with a flourish.

83
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,510
My, what a perfectly realized
bit of timeless comedy.

84
00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:04,980
Satine, we saved the Moulin Rouge

85
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,449
and can finally be together.

86
00:05:06,450 --> 00:05:08,650
I have consumption.

87
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,920
- I've known for a few months.
- That's tuberculosis!

88
00:05:11,990 --> 00:05:15,130
That's highly contagious.
We've been hooking up since April.

89
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,130
I love you and I'm dead.

90
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,460
Has anyone invented penicillin yet?

91
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:24,469
You no pay rent, Linda.
You get out!

92
00:05:24,470 --> 00:05:27,000
Please, Mr. Cookie,
I have no place to go.

93
00:05:27,070 --> 00:05:29,340
You evicted.
You go now.

94
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:32,479
You're a monster!

95
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,240
Me know. Me know.

96
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,420
- Yo Gabba Gabba...
- What the?!

97
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,296
Hell no! Where's Muno?

98
00:05:40,297 --> 00:05:43,020
Foofa? Toodee?
Brobee? Plex?

99
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:45,489
I must have grabbed
the wrong suitcase at the park.

100
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:46,829
- You got the money?
- Yeah.

101
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,613
You got the stuff?

102
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,230
- What are those things?
- Where's my powder?

103
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,760
Pow! Pow!

104
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,770
? What is death,
why do people die? ?

105
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,570
? It's one of life's
unanswered questions ?

106
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,090
? And no one knows why ?

107
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,380
? You can die today
and you could die anywhere ?

108
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,379
? Like that guy,
whose ear is here ?

109
00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:06,450
? But his teeth are over there ?

110
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:07,719
What's up, fellas?

111
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,720
I've been looking
for you guys everywhere.

112
00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:11,380
Oh, good, there's my suitcase.

113
00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:13,450
Now I can give this cornstarch
back to its right...

114
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,320
Ka-boom!

115
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:22,000
DJ Lance?

116
00:06:23,730 --> 00:06:25,270
DJ Lance?

117
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:32,340
DJ Lance?
DJ Lance?

118
00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:34,210
DJ Lance?

119
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,410
DJ Lance?
DJ Lance?

120
00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:41,150
Goliath, I can't wait any longer.

121
00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:44,219
- I want to make love to you.
- Elisa, the hour is late.

122
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:46,219
If the sun were to rise
during the sex,

123
00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:49,360
my prodigious rock appendage
would likely tear you in two.

124
00:06:49,420 --> 00:06:52,090
I'm starting to think
you're not packing any heat

125
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,629
under that comically
oversized loincloth!

126
00:06:54,630 --> 00:06:56,500
You're too good a cop, Elisa.

127
00:06:56,570 --> 00:06:58,970
It's true. I have no penis.

128
00:06:59,030 --> 00:07:03,700
One night, long ago while I slept,
Xanatos chiseled it off.

129
00:07:03,770 --> 00:07:06,110
I don't care. I love you.

130
00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:08,980
Wow. You are quite a woman.

131
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,240
Jesus, are you my tail?

132
00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:13,180
Have you ever heard
the word consent?

133
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,520
Oh, no. It's happening.
I'm going to stone.

134
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:18,990
Oh, yeah. This is going
to work out just fi...

135
00:07:19,050 --> 00:07:20,790
Aah!

136
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,859
Ooh, I'm sorry, Mr. David,

137
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:27,530
but your reservation was for
7:00 and it's now 7:15.

138
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,800
That's not on me. I was here at 7:00,
but parking was a nightmare.

139
00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:32,530
You got to give me
that 15-minute leeway.

140
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,069
It's a leeway deal.

141
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:35,800
That's not how
the world works, sir.

142
00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:38,650
Well, the world would be a lot
better if there were places to park.

143
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,410
Maybe we need half
as many people on the planet.

144
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:42,679
Hmm.

145
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,150
- No leeway.
- They gotta give you the leeway.

146
00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:47,410
I'd be furious, if not for my new

147
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,550
UNTUCKit shirts button-down

148
00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:51,950
but designed to be
worn untucked.

149
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:54,350
You know what? I can't
believe how good it looks.

150
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:58,230
Weird thing to say about
a shirt, but I love it. Jeff?

151
00:07:58,290 --> 00:08:01,490
- T-Turning to ash.
- What's all this dust?

152
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:04,100
Thanos snapped half of
humanity out of existence

153
00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:05,770
based on your parking rant.

154
00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:07,390
First of all,
you said you were going to

155
00:08:07,414 --> 00:08:09,840
be here at 4:00
and you got here at 4:00.

156
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,109
With more people, you
wouldn't have found parking

157
00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:14,910
- till at least 4:15.
- Ah, can it, Bernie.

158
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:16,660
We would have just left
15 minutes earlier.

159
00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,910
I'm actually not offended
by the Bernie comparison.

160
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,850
Played him on "SNL," made a few bucks.

161
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,850
Great bucks?
Eh, okay bucks.

162
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,050
You know Lorne.
You ever been on "SNL," Stark?

163
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,919
Nah, Stark's too big!
Stark's a big boy!

164
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,720
If we want
to defeat our enemies,

165
00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:33,060
we'll need your power,
the power to annoy people

166
00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:34,800
so much they just give up!

167
00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:36,460
How's the parking?
Is there a pass?

168
00:08:36,530 --> 00:08:38,270
I'm going to need an assigned spot.

169
00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:42,500
Now, we go back in time and
collect all the Infinity Stones.

170
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,210
Hey, you want my opinion?
Too many Avengers.

171
00:08:45,270 --> 00:08:48,739
I can't remember all these names.
Also some of you are gods,

172
00:08:48,740 --> 00:08:50,810
one of you is good
at gym-class archery.

173
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,480
- Eh. It's uneven.
- I don't want to go anymore.

174
00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:57,550
If you want the soul stone,

175
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:01,620
you'll have to sacrifice
something you love.

176
00:09:01,690 --> 00:09:04,220
What are you, nuts?
Not my UNTUCKit shirt!

177
00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:06,230
You keep saying
how much you love it.

178
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,699
Just get another shirt.

179
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:10,360
The guy who started
the company turned to dust.

180
00:09:10,430 --> 00:09:12,230
You're so annoying!

181
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:14,100
- I give up!
- No!

182
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:17,300
You're supposed to use
your power on the bad guys!

183
00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:19,769
But my bad might be your good.

184
00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:21,570
Who's good for me might...

185
00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:24,910
Ugh, how can you
work with this man?

186
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:26,179
Auf wiedersehen.

187
00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:28,520
Is Red Man the villain?
Seemed kind of like a Nazi.

188
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,720
Larry, I think you're a villain.

189
00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:32,589
And I think archery is not a sport.

190
00:09:32,590 --> 00:09:34,920
Eh, we're at an impasse,
but I'm okay with it.

191
00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:47,270
Larry, God damn it, hand the
gauntlet to Scarlet Witch!

192
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:50,800
- Who are all these people?
- Just run, you whiny asshole.

193
00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:55,080
Aah!
My UNTUCKit shirt! No!

194
00:09:55,140 --> 00:09:57,540
I got to get the stain out
before it sets!

195
00:09:57,610 --> 00:09:59,550
Larry! Larry!

196
00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:02,350
- Oh, no! Thanos has all the stones!
- Oh, yeah. It's working.

197
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:04,280
- It's working. It's working!
- Oh, but Iron Man tripped him

198
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:05,749
and now he's got all the stones.

199
00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:09,890
- I am Iron Man!
- Oh, my God, it worked!

200
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:14,830
- But Iron Man is dead.
- There we go. No more stain.

201
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,570
Wow, parking was a nightmare.

202
00:10:22,571 --> 00:10:24,440
So which one of you died again?

203
00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:26,440
Scarlet Witch of the West,
Fish Oil Man?

204
00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:29,147
Damn it, Larry,
you're 15 minutes late.

205
00:10:29,148 --> 00:10:31,910
Where's the leeway?

206
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,500
DJ Lance?

207
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:03,220
DJ Lance?
DJ Lance?

208
00:11:07,770 --> 00:11:09,220
DJ Lance?

209
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,740
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~