1
00:00:08,761 --> 00:00:10,846
Well, I guess this is
the part of the trip

2
00:00:10,870 --> 00:00:12,766
where we start drinking our own pee.

3
00:00:12,790 --> 00:00:14,776
Well, what do you say?
You do me, and I do you?

4
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,960
We can't go on like this. We need...

5
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,029
water!

6
00:00:19,054 --> 00:00:21,016
Water! We're saved!

7
00:00:23,506 --> 00:00:26,226
What?
No. No, no, no, no!

8
00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:28,226
Benny! This water is dry!

9
00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:29,786
- What happened?
- Ah, don't worry.

10
00:00:29,810 --> 00:00:32,026
It just means that the heat's
starting to melt your brain.

11
00:00:32,050 --> 00:00:34,410
Guys! You made it!

12
00:00:35,657 --> 00:00:38,227
Dingus? I thought you were
chasing after Trig.

13
00:00:38,252 --> 00:00:40,556
I was, yeah, but then she shot my horse

14
00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:42,156
and left me stranded in the desert.

15
00:00:42,180 --> 00:00:43,756
Man, I thought I was a goner,

16
00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:46,720
until I stumbled across
this swingin' pool party!

17
00:00:47,337 --> 00:00:49,141
Hold on. Let me get out of the pool.

18
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:50,542
Okay, he's gonna die.

19
00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:52,790
I want to introduce you guys
to my new friends.

20
00:00:52,815 --> 00:00:54,151
Gentlemen, this is

21
00:00:54,176 --> 00:00:57,925
the brilliant Professor Von Ziegler.

22
00:00:58,005 --> 00:01:00,593
I almost had you in
that last chess match.

23
00:01:01,132 --> 00:01:03,882
And this is the one and only

24
00:01:03,907 --> 00:01:05,243
Mr. Marvellous!

25
00:01:05,268 --> 00:01:08,117
Oh, that rabbit!
Did you see that rabbit?

26
00:01:08,142 --> 00:01:09,365
He was in there the whole time!

27
00:01:09,390 --> 00:01:11,659
- Wow.
- And last,

28
00:01:11,684 --> 00:01:13,697
the alluring countess.

29
00:01:13,722 --> 00:01:15,563
Enchanté.

30
00:01:16,115 --> 00:01:18,976
Okay, well, it was great
to meet all you folks

31
00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:20,305
but we really should get going.

32
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,523
Oh, no, no, no!

33
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:24,308
They're just about to start
the limbo contest, so...

34
00:01:25,814 --> 00:01:27,515
You grab his legs, I'll go for his arms.

35
00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:29,596
How low... can they go...

36
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:31,521
- Okay.
- What are you guys doing?

37
00:01:31,545 --> 00:01:33,933
You're embarrassing me
in front of my new friends!

38
00:01:33,958 --> 00:01:37,622
Countess! Write to me! I love you!

39
00:01:37,647 --> 00:01:45,647
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

40
00:02:07,979 --> 00:02:10,386
All right, let's get these wagons

41
00:02:10,410 --> 00:02:11,946
roped up nice and tight!

42
00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:14,241
These mountains here
are the last things standing

43
00:02:14,265 --> 00:02:15,523
between us and Oregon.

44
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,556
Oh, Dingus. You feeling any better?

45
00:02:18,580 --> 00:02:19,996
Yeah, a little better.

46
00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:22,076
So it's, uh, looking like
I'll be riding with you guys

47
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,596
for a little while while I recuperate.

48
00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:25,686
You know, I just wanted to clear the air

49
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,806
in case there's
any weirdness between us.

50
00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:29,606
- Why would there be weirdness?
- You know,

51
00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:32,486
because I dumped you to start
bounty hunting Trig?

52
00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:34,606
Ah, water under the bridge, my friend.

53
00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:36,486
My time spent with the Native Americans

54
00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:38,856
gave me a completely different
outlook on life.

55
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,136
I've learned to shed my foolish ego.

56
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,336
Now I take pleasure
in the simple things,

57
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,496
like the rush of the wind,

58
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,976
or the beauty of a single leaf
on a tree.

59
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,209
Wow, you got all of that from one day.

60
00:02:50,234 --> 00:02:52,746
What's a day? Oh, you mean a "moon."

61
00:02:52,770 --> 00:02:55,904
Sorry, I think of time
in terms of "moons" now.

62
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,786
And I think of distance
in terms of "canoes."

63
00:02:58,810 --> 00:03:00,657
But more on that later.

64
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,716
What's all this about?

65
00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:06,603
Getting ready to go
over the mountain. Remember?

66
00:03:06,628 --> 00:03:08,604
We each agreed to do
an equal amount of the work?

67
00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:11,481
Cool. Didn't ask for
your whole life story.

68
00:03:11,505 --> 00:03:13,296
I'm looking for the Reverend.
Have you seen him?

69
00:03:14,449 --> 00:03:16,424
Oh! He and Prudence are having one of

70
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:19,646
their special bible study
sessions in your wagon.

71
00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:23,113
Ah, my Ezekiel. He's such a good man.

72
00:03:23,138 --> 00:03:25,394
Unlike you filthy sinners!

73
00:03:29,505 --> 00:03:31,095
Bible studies, huh?

74
00:03:34,142 --> 00:03:36,264
Yes! Yes! Yes!

75
00:03:36,289 --> 00:03:38,299
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John!

76
00:03:39,363 --> 00:03:40,625
That was amazing.

77
00:03:40,736 --> 00:03:42,319
God, I've been married
to Todd for so long,

78
00:03:42,343 --> 00:03:43,924
I forgot sex is supposed to feel good.

79
00:03:43,948 --> 00:03:46,466
These have been the happiest
days of my life.

80
00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:48,671
It's so strange, I know the Bible says

81
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,516
what we're doing is a sin,
but everything about it

82
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,796
- feels so right.
- Maybe it is right.

83
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:55,379
I mean, we're both trapped
in bad relationships.

84
00:03:55,580 --> 00:03:57,179
Once we get to Oregon,

85
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,476
we'll come clean to our partners

86
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,071
and start our new life together.

87
00:04:00,095 --> 00:04:01,646
That sounds perfect.

88
00:04:01,670 --> 00:04:02,811
I just can't shake the feeling

89
00:04:02,835 --> 00:04:04,136
we're gonna be punished somehow.

90
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,701
Prudence! Ezekiel!

91
00:04:05,725 --> 00:04:06,806
Todd!

92
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,770
Uh, it's not what it looks like.

93
00:04:08,795 --> 00:04:11,619
I should have known all along...

94
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,309
what an amazing man you are!

95
00:04:15,794 --> 00:04:16,935
Excuse me?

96
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,581
You're the reason
we're getting to Oregon.

97
00:04:18,605 --> 00:04:21,865
And I know I have been
a harsh critic at times.

98
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,729
I was wrong, okay?

99
00:04:24,754 --> 00:04:26,066
I apologise.

100
00:04:26,090 --> 00:04:28,511
Don't mention it.
Everyone makes mistakes.

101
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,966
And, on a personal note,

102
00:04:31,111 --> 00:04:33,997
I just want to thank you

103
00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:35,511
for all the special attention

104
00:04:35,535 --> 00:04:37,836
that you've been paying
to my wife lately.

105
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:40,201
I know you've been
putting in the long hours

106
00:04:40,225 --> 00:04:41,916
with the bible study lessons.

107
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:46,316
I mean, I can hear her
screaming "Oh, God, oh, God."

108
00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:48,636
So I know that it's working.

109
00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:50,491
Can't really figure out
why the two of you

110
00:04:50,515 --> 00:04:52,693
are butt naked right now, but...

111
00:04:53,496 --> 00:04:55,192
I'm sure that's part of it, too.

112
00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,166
Yeah, yeah, it is, mm-hmm.

113
00:04:57,190 --> 00:04:59,630
Well, I'll let you guys get back to it.

114
00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:02,061
Hey...

115
00:05:02,276 --> 00:05:04,404
give it to her good, Rev.

116
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:07,725
The bible study lessons, I mean.

117
00:05:09,624 --> 00:05:12,459
That went surprisingly well.

118
00:05:12,973 --> 00:05:14,589
Should we get back to our lessons?

119
00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:18,826
So, Phaedra, girl, fill me in!

120
00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:20,986
You know, what's the hot goss
around the wagon train?

121
00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:22,739
Ooh, let me think.

122
00:05:23,130 --> 00:05:25,956
Juliette made one
of Martha's pie recipes,

123
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:29,400
and didn't give Martha any credit. What?

124
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:31,956
That's not hot goss.

125
00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:34,076
I mean, that's not even warm goss.

126
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:37,286
That's like days-old,
left-out-on-the-counter goss.

127
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:39,428
Is this hot enough for you?

128
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,166
Round 'em up.

129
00:05:44,004 --> 00:05:47,002
Trig. We meet again.

130
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,426
Please don't kill me, okay?

131
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,656
You won, fair and square!
Just let me live

132
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,501
and I'll never chase you
again, I promise!

133
00:05:53,525 --> 00:05:54,776
Come on, man, have some dignity.

134
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,541
I'm not here for you.

135
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,936
I'm here for him.

136
00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,535
Hey! Aah!

137
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:03,203
Zeke. Zeke!

138
00:06:04,170 --> 00:06:05,746
Look, I'm sorry, it's
my first time trying this.

139
00:06:05,770 --> 00:06:07,071
My heart's in the right place.

140
00:06:07,095 --> 00:06:09,179
No, that was good.
But something is wrong outside.

141
00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:14,676
I don't understand.
I thought you beat me already.

142
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,521
I thought I did, too,

143
00:06:16,545 --> 00:06:19,156
until I started reading the headlines.

144
00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:22,716
"Freight Train Robbed by
Daughter of Benny the Teen."

145
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:24,636
"Trig's Reign of Terror...

146
00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:27,700
Following in Daddy's Big Footsteps."

147
00:06:27,725 --> 00:06:30,066
Do you know how frustrating it is

148
00:06:30,091 --> 00:06:31,474
to be the number one bandit

149
00:06:31,499 --> 00:06:33,200
and still be compared to you?

150
00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:36,045
In all fairness, you're
a fantastic bandit, Trig,

151
00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:37,696
but Benny's the greatest of all time.

152
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,341
How can you say that?

153
00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:40,402
I mean, look at the stats.

154
00:06:40,426 --> 00:06:42,715
I'm beating him in lifetime murders,

155
00:06:42,739 --> 00:06:44,960
bank robberies, and riverboat heists.

156
00:06:44,984 --> 00:06:46,976
But you're looking at it
through an 1844 lens.

157
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,696
The game is way different
than it used to be.

158
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:49,906
The guns are heavier,

159
00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,266
they didn't have zone shooting,

160
00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:53,791
not to mention all the
advancements in bandit nutrition.

161
00:06:53,815 --> 00:06:55,596
Yeah, but Trig is still a rising star.

162
00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:56,961
I mean, she hasn't even
hit her peak yet.

163
00:06:56,985 --> 00:06:58,466
- Thank you.
- Now that's a fair point.

164
00:06:58,490 --> 00:06:59,866
What we gotta do is graph

165
00:06:59,890 --> 00:07:02,281
Trig's expected trajectory
with Benny's prime,

166
00:07:02,305 --> 00:07:03,506
- which was...
- 1823.

167
00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,145
What d'you know about that, boy?
Gimme some of that.

168
00:07:05,169 --> 00:07:06,923
Hey, you know what? Shut up, all of you!

169
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,916
We don't have to speculate about
who the best of all time is,

170
00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:13,235
because I'm gonna prove it right now.

171
00:07:15,030 --> 00:07:17,488
Drop your guns,
or I'll pump you full of lead.

172
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,981
By the way, that whole
begging for my life thing

173
00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:28,764
I was doing earlier
was obviously just a ruse.

174
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,741
So when we get to Oregon,
can you not tell

175
00:07:30,765 --> 00:07:32,936
the other bounty hunters, please?

176
00:07:33,530 --> 00:07:34,896
Hey, pumpkin.

177
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,986
I bet you're happy to see this, huh?

178
00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:38,986
Benny the Teen, back on top.

179
00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:40,786
No, you've got it all wrong.

180
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:43,106
I'm not the same man I used to be.

181
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,306
I have found internal peace
and happiness

182
00:07:46,330 --> 00:07:48,066
and I want to share
those gifts with you.

183
00:07:48,090 --> 00:07:51,081
I'm wanted dead or alive,
right? Can I choose dead?

184
00:07:51,921 --> 00:07:54,396
It is amazing you happened to be

185
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:57,361
in the exact right place and
time to get the drop on Trig,

186
00:07:57,385 --> 00:07:58,916
and doing it in your underwear

187
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:01,086
so she wouldn't hear
your clothes rustle!

188
00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:02,486
Smart!

189
00:08:02,510 --> 00:08:05,371
- Yeah, that's why we did that.
- Loud clothes, correct.

190
00:08:05,395 --> 00:08:06,752
Heroes.

191
00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:10,957
- Well, that was pretty lucky.
- That was more than lucky.

192
00:08:10,981 --> 00:08:12,821
Not only are we not being
punished for our affair,

193
00:08:12,845 --> 00:08:14,695
but it actually just helped everyone!

194
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,941
Maybe what we're doing
isn't a sin after all.

195
00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:20,096
Maybe... maybe God just
wants us to be happy.

196
00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:27,737
Did you see that?

197
00:08:27,762 --> 00:08:29,818
A bolt of lightning just killed Claire.

198
00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:32,271
That's strange...
A single bolt of lightning

199
00:08:32,295 --> 00:08:33,751
on a perfectly clear day

200
00:08:33,775 --> 00:08:35,775
directly striking our lead ox?

201
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,361
Oh, well. Sure it's nothing.

202
00:08:38,386 --> 00:08:40,216
Should we head up the mountain?

203
00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:44,414
Oh, God.

204
00:08:45,765 --> 00:08:46,860
Heave!

205
00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:50,786
Heave!

206
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:55,326
Damn it! That's
the third broken wheel today.

207
00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:57,326
Ever since we started coming up
this damn mountain,

208
00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:59,206
everything's gone wrong.
It's like we're cursed!

209
00:08:59,230 --> 00:09:02,296
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
"Cursed" is a strong word, John.

210
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,296
- "Inconvenienced," perhaps.
- Well, how would you explain it?

211
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,443
People keep getting injured.

212
00:09:06,468 --> 00:09:08,536
There's a mysterious plague
sweeping through the camp,

213
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,816
and Granny McGill keeps
spontaneously combusting.

214
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,785
Did somebody say my name?

215
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,106
Eeek! Ooh!

216
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:17,426
- Oh, not again!
- I mean, that... that's pretty normal.

217
00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:19,519
- I've seen that before.
- What is happening here?

218
00:09:19,544 --> 00:09:21,637
We are being led by a righteous man.

219
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,865
Our trip should be protected by God.

220
00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:25,316
I mean, nothing's changed, right?

221
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:26,956
You're still a completely faultless man

222
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:29,476
with nary a blemish of sin
on your perfect soul?

223
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,916
Oh, yeah, sure am. Totally.

224
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,156
Squeaky clean Zekey over here.

225
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:35,180
- Um, excuse me a moment.
- Oh, yeah.

226
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,846
Oh, hey, Zeke. Crazy day, huh?

227
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,006
Levi's having a bit of a temper tantrum.

228
00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,846
Salute Satanum!

229
00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:46,766
Now Levi, what did we say

230
00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:48,656
about praising Satan in ancient Latin?

231
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,816
Shove it up your ass, bitch.

232
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,696
He's such a scamp.

233
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,016
Are you not the tiniest bit concerned

234
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,616
that the sudden downturn
things have taken

235
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,336
might be our doing?

236
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,376
- What do you mean?
- I feel like God is punishing us

237
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,706
for the affair.

238
00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,346
Come on, not this again.

239
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,866
I thought you said you were over it.

240
00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:06,706
I thought I was, but look around you.

241
00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,506
Things are not going great right now.

242
00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:09,946
Everything's fine.

243
00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:11,266
You're just stuck in your own head.

244
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:12,956
So, the wagon's free at lunch.

245
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,356
What do you say I help you
get out of your head, huh?

246
00:10:18,224 --> 00:10:20,940
I should probably deal
with this, but come by later.

247
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,796
Shove it up your ass, bitch.

248
00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:25,286
You already said that one.

249
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:27,522
Oops. Sorry about that.

250
00:10:27,547 --> 00:10:30,766
My name is Gorgeous Pete,
and I'm a bandit.

251
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:32,246
Hi, Gorgeous Pete.

252
00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:34,446
This is a painting I made of myself.

253
00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:36,006
It's a scary outlaw.

254
00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:38,536
But that's not the real me
on the inside.

255
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,056
I want to be a dancer.

256
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,960
You don't have to be
that guy anymore. Let it go.

257
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,456
All right, who wants to go next?

258
00:10:48,387 --> 00:10:49,490
Uh, Trig?

259
00:10:50,164 --> 00:10:51,148
Sure. Um...

260
00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:55,507
This is a painting of me.

261
00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:58,906
As you can see, I'm
giving you the middle finger.

262
00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:00,656
Okay.

263
00:11:00,696 --> 00:11:02,116
We have a hard case here, don't we?

264
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:04,836
I get it. I used to be just like you.

265
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:07,596
Every weekend I was out robbing banks,

266
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,630
sticking up stagecoaches,

267
00:11:09,734 --> 00:11:11,630
but I felt empty on the inside.

268
00:11:12,113 --> 00:11:14,326
That is, until I did the work

269
00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:16,646
and I became
the fully enlightened person

270
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:18,046
that you see now.

271
00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:20,446
Oh, my God, I'm in hell. This is hell.

272
00:11:20,470 --> 00:11:22,318
No, Trig.

273
00:11:22,506 --> 00:11:25,656
Why can't you achieve
the same level of growth as me?

274
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,279
Because it's bullshit.

275
00:11:27,304 --> 00:11:30,536
One spiritual weekend retreat
does not change a lifetime

276
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,456
of being a selfish asshole.

277
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,456
Except in my case,
that's exactly what happened.

278
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,706
Because I did the work.

279
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,728
Stop saying you did the work!

280
00:11:38,753 --> 00:11:40,400
What work? What does that even mean?

281
00:11:40,424 --> 00:11:42,386
It's the work. It's what I did.

282
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,847
- Yeah, he did the work.
- Shut up, Kevin!

283
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,706
Okay, all right, look,
why don't we move on

284
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:48,266
to our Kundalini exercises?

285
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,996
I think we need to release

286
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,836
the negative energy from our buttholes.

287
00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:54,827
All right, everybody up. Come on.

288
00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:56,996
On your feet, and bend over.

289
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,356
Yeah.

290
00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:00,726
Loosen those hips. Let it out.

291
00:12:00,983 --> 00:12:03,166
Hey, Zeke. Sorry I'm late.

292
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,406
There was a freak outbreak of frogs.

293
00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:07,406
Honestly, it was
just more random than bad.

294
00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:11,558
?? A-a-amen ??

295
00:12:11,582 --> 00:12:15,736
- Oh, hey.
- Hey. You decorated.

296
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,408
I thought our S-E-X
could use a little G-O-D?

297
00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:21,336
That way, we can continue our affair

298
00:12:21,376 --> 00:12:23,846
and appease our vengeful
lord and saviour.

299
00:12:24,853 --> 00:12:26,826
Uh, I mean, it's a little distracting

300
00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:28,746
but if it's what you need...

301
00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:30,681
First, we set the mood

302
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:33,926
with a naughty little
sprinkle of holy water.

303
00:12:34,051 --> 00:12:35,906
Wow, you're really using a lot.

304
00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:37,061
Yeah. Make sure to get some
on your face.

305
00:12:37,085 --> 00:12:38,836
Uh... very nice.

306
00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:40,716
And can I interest my lady

307
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,436
in a taste of bitter ashes?

308
00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:44,996
Maybe we can just skip to the part

309
00:12:45,020 --> 00:12:46,876
- where we make out?
- Of course.

310
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:50,246
And I have the perfect thing for that.

311
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,046
What? What is that?

312
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:54,006
Just a little contraption I built.

313
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:57,366
The hammer will continuously
strike me in the testicles as we kiss,

314
00:12:57,390 --> 00:13:00,416
thereby removing all pleasure
from the sexual experience.

315
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,776
- Shall we take it for a spin?
- Uh, are you sure?

316
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,976
I don't think that's...

317
00:13:05,543 --> 00:13:08,074
Oh, wow! That did damage!

318
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,056
Oh, one blow is utterly devastating!

319
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,986
I can't imagine doing that
even once more,

320
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:15,484
let alone for
an entire make-out session.

321
00:13:15,508 --> 00:13:17,026
Um, I'm sorry. Can we stop?

322
00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:18,506
This isn't working for me.

323
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:19,826
How's it supposed to make me feel

324
00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:21,506
that you have to punish
yourself to be with me?

325
00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:23,466
It's just... it's the only thing
I've thought of

326
00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:24,950
to atone for our sins.

327
00:13:24,974 --> 00:13:27,195
Zeke, I'm ready to share
my whole life with you.

328
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,116
But I need you to be in it, too,

329
00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:31,354
and not think that
our relationship is a sin.

330
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,116
I'm sorry. No, no, no, no.

331
00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:34,876
Of course, of course
I want to be with you.

332
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,421
I... you're right. I am being ridiculous

333
00:13:38,446 --> 00:13:40,068
and if you will still have me,

334
00:13:40,093 --> 00:13:41,888
I'd like to make out with you
super hard right now.

335
00:13:41,913 --> 00:13:43,591
There we go.

336
00:13:46,550 --> 00:13:48,337
Oh, that's not good.

337
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,136
- Rockslide!
- We're all gonna die!

338
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,936
Jesus, Martha, we're right here!

339
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,296
You don't have to yell!

340
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,376
- Take cover!
- Oh, shit!

341
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,546
- Hurry up with that lock!
- I'm trying!

342
00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:02,986
- Aah!
- Ow! Ah!

343
00:14:04,206 --> 00:14:05,546
- Oh...
- It's okay, Benny.

344
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:09,748
You taught us all how to
abandon our selfish ways.

345
00:14:09,773 --> 00:14:12,066
We'll all stick together
till the bitter end.

346
00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:13,878
Yeah, about that...

347
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,956
it's every man for himself. Good luck!

348
00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:18,076
See ya, suckers!

349
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,836
- Ooh! Ee! Ow!
- Ah, ah!

350
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:23,367
- What's he doing?
- Being the same ol' Benny.

351
00:14:24,266 --> 00:14:26,266
It's gonna collapse!

352
00:14:27,976 --> 00:14:29,352
Well, at least we're together.

353
00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:36,856
Dear Lord, I repent my wicked ways.

354
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,936
I committed the sin
of adultery with Prudence.

355
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,576
- The hell?
- I was too weak

356
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,696
to resist the temptation
of the harlot's flesh!

357
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,936
She bewitched me with
her devilish charms,

358
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,256
and ankles that just won't quit!

359
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,696
It was wicked and wrong,

360
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,410
and I promise I will never
disobey you again, oh, Lord!

361
00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:55,346
Yes! Yes! It worked! Thank you!

362
00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:57,426
Thank you, oh, Lord,
for your infinite mercy!

363
00:14:57,451 --> 00:15:00,299
Pru, you see that? We're saved.

364
00:15:00,873 --> 00:15:03,119
Well, I guess I know
how you really feel now.

365
00:15:04,097 --> 00:15:05,471
Oh, Pru, wait.

366
00:15:09,232 --> 00:15:11,052
Oh, hey, guys.

367
00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:13,521
So, that happened.

368
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:16,270
Now this is hot goss!

369
00:15:19,448 --> 00:15:21,877
So, things got a little crazy there.

370
00:15:21,910 --> 00:15:23,206
Some personal stuff came to light

371
00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:25,016
that I'm obviously
not particularly proud of.

372
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,536
But the main thing is

373
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,456
- we are back on track to make
it to Oregon. So... - Enough!

374
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,616
Why should we listen to you anymore?

375
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,536
You seduced me away
from my fellow Noonans

376
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,746
only to make the beast
with two backs with that wench.

377
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,146
You are not a righteous man,
Ezekiel Brown.

378
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:41,973
You are evil.

379
00:15:41,998 --> 00:15:43,946
No one messes with my girl Phaedra

380
00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:45,026
and gets away with it.

381
00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:47,266
Team Phae-Phae for life, bitch!

382
00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:49,420
And... and... this...
This is how all of you feel?

383
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,756
None of you are Team Zeke-Zeke?

384
00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:54,516
I have an idea!
I can get my shunning kit!

385
00:15:55,743 --> 00:15:57,196
Oh, uh, thank you, God.

386
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,352
This... this does help.

387
00:15:59,377 --> 00:16:00,737
Hmph!

388
00:16:03,949 --> 00:16:05,646
My God, how dare you betray me?

389
00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:08,446
You've made a proper
cuckhold of me. Oh, God.

390
00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:10,846
I can feel my cuck's horns
growing in already.

391
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,909
I'm sorry, Todd.

392
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,056
Clearly, I made a mistake with Zeke.

393
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,376
How did you even find the time

394
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,376
to have an affair between
all the bible study sessions?

395
00:16:21,157 --> 00:16:22,536
- Uh...
- Doesn't matter.

396
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,626
Just stay in the wagon. Try not to bone

397
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,650
too many dudes while I'm out.

398
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:31,938
God, that no good, stinking reverend!

399
00:16:31,963 --> 00:16:34,866
I never should've trusted him. Gosh!

400
00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:37,196
Hey there, Todd.

401
00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:39,220
Rough day, huh?

402
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:41,476
I shouldn't be talking to you.

403
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,356
Well, I just think it's
messed up what he did to you,

404
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:46,196
stealing your girl like that.

405
00:16:46,801 --> 00:16:48,193
You know, everyone's laughing at you.

406
00:16:48,783 --> 00:16:50,246
- They are?
- Yep.

407
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:52,446
And it's all because of him.

408
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,566
Yeah! Though, if I'm
being honest with myself,

409
00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:58,206
I wonder if I had a small part
to play in this.

410
00:16:58,230 --> 00:17:00,096
I don't think I was always
a good husband...

411
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,136
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

412
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,776
You had it right the first time.

413
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,376
You're perfect, he sucks.

414
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,536
Yeah! That British little shit!

415
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,696
God, I wish there was a way
I could get back at him.

416
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,816
Maybe there is,

417
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,099
but first, you have to do
something for me.

418
00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:20,506
Put your backs into it!

419
00:17:20,530 --> 00:17:23,426
Oof, why did they make
these wagons so heavy?

420
00:17:23,450 --> 00:17:25,740
- Hey, I'm gonna take five.
- What?

421
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:29,596
Howdy, Rev.

422
00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:31,156
Oh, you're not supposed
to talk to me, remember?

423
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,356
- I am shunned.
- Eh.

424
00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:33,756
How you holding up, anyway?

425
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:34,996
Yeah, not great.

426
00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,326
The beggar's cloth

427
00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:38,086
scratches my skin
with every step that I take

428
00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:39,486
And the stone of shame

429
00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:41,262
feels like it's about to snap my neck.

430
00:17:41,287 --> 00:17:43,846
And I lost the love of my life
forever, so...

431
00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:46,766
But, if it gets us
back on God's good side,

432
00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:48,189
all worth it, right?

433
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,336
Todd? What are you doing?

434
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:57,933
This is what happens when you
disrespect Todd Aberdeen!

435
00:17:57,958 --> 00:17:59,519
No, no, no, no.

436
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:20,184
What the hell are you thinking?

437
00:18:20,238 --> 00:18:22,076
How we gonna get off this mountain now?

438
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:25,310
You're not getting down. I am!

439
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:29,286
Help!

440
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,726
- Prudence!
- Zeke!

441
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:32,470
Help!

442
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,857
Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast, loverboy.

443
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,416
And sorry I can't stick around

444
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,536
and listen to more
of your bullshit, Benny.

445
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,256
I gotta get back to being
the best bandit of all time.

446
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,416
Trig, wait!

447
00:18:43,814 --> 00:18:46,376
You're right. I haven't changed.

448
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,306
I'm still the same
selfish jerk I've always been

449
00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:51,106
but I... I'm trying.

450
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,626
And I meant it when I said

451
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:56,250
I care about you
and I want you to be happy.

452
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:00,476
I don't believe a damn word you say.

453
00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:02,663
The only thing that would make me happy

454
00:19:02,688 --> 00:19:05,676
is you freezing to death
on top of this mountain.

455
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,086
Let's ride.

456
00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:17,590
You were saying something
about God protecting us?

457
00:19:19,401 --> 00:19:21,525
"Congratulations on
your new Testicle Kicker 900,

458
00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:22,806
"the very latest in self-punishment

459
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,696
from your friends
at the Ouch Corporation."

460
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,216
Uh... aha!

461
00:19:26,278 --> 00:19:28,894
"Connect the testicle-crushing hammer

462
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:30,544
to slot C."

463
00:19:31,058 --> 00:19:32,574
Where is slot C?

464
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,440
Seems like a really key piece
of information.

465
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,050
Ow.

466
00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:42,506
I know we're being cursed,

467
00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:44,306
but do you have
to make the print so tiny?

468
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:46,609
That seems unnecessarily cruel.

469
00:19:47,690 --> 00:19:50,196
Get in there, get in there,
get in there, aah!

470
00:19:50,752 --> 00:19:51,995
Yes! Ha ha!

471
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:56,556
Oh! Yaa!

472
00:19:57,331 --> 00:19:59,682
Aah, yes! Right in the junk.

473
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,799
Prudence is gonna love this.

474
00:20:01,823 --> 00:20:07,898
credits