1 00:00:06,154 --> 00:00:07,630 Parenting is exhausting. 2 00:00:07,655 --> 00:00:10,080 You're tired because you were up until 5:00 in the morning 3 00:00:10,105 --> 00:00:11,509 playing a game on your phone. 4 00:00:11,534 --> 00:00:12,534 It's not a game. 5 00:00:12,559 --> 00:00:14,056 It's a realistic pizza parlor simulator. 6 00:00:14,103 --> 00:00:15,179 It's very different. 7 00:00:15,204 --> 00:00:17,226 - There's no winning. - Then why do you play? 8 00:00:17,253 --> 00:00:18,687 To earn pizza points to get better toppings. 9 00:00:18,712 --> 00:00:20,136 What's up, Peralta? 10 00:00:20,164 --> 00:00:21,897 Hey, Trudy Judy and dog Judy. 11 00:00:21,927 --> 00:00:23,415 What's going on? Are you puppy sitting for Doug? 12 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,396 Well, I was, but I need you to take him for me, 13 00:00:25,420 --> 00:00:27,403 because I'm going on a little vacay, 14 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:28,531 and let's just say 15 00:00:28,556 --> 00:00:30,157 there's going to be some activities 16 00:00:30,191 --> 00:00:32,025 that aren't suitable for a little dog. 17 00:00:32,060 --> 00:00:33,297 Mm! 18 00:00:33,561 --> 00:00:34,761 - Like parasailing. - Oh. 19 00:00:34,796 --> 00:00:36,830 Thought you were building to something much more sexual. 20 00:00:36,864 --> 00:00:38,799 Nope, just really pumped for parasailing. 21 00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:40,374 Also, there's gonna be a lot of [bleep], 22 00:00:40,399 --> 00:00:41,959 but the dog's okay with that. 23 00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:43,046 - Here. - Ugh. 24 00:00:43,071 --> 00:00:44,404 As much as we would love 25 00:00:44,439 --> 00:00:46,547 to take care of this extremely unneutered animal, 26 00:00:46,572 --> 00:00:48,234 we can't, because I'm too allergic. 27 00:00:48,259 --> 00:00:50,344 Wait, why isn't Doug Judy taking care of dog Judy? 28 00:00:50,378 --> 00:00:51,445 Is he out of town or something? 29 00:00:51,470 --> 00:00:53,013 Oh, no, you didn't hear? 30 00:00:53,047 --> 00:00:54,805 Doug got arrested. He's going to prison. 31 00:00:55,048 --> 00:00:55,990 Wait, what? 32 00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:57,408 Doug got arrested. He's going to prison. 33 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:59,107 Yeah, no, I heard you. I was just processing. 34 00:00:59,132 --> 00:01:01,979 - Aw. You want to hug a dog? - Oh, my God. 35 00:01:02,004 --> 00:01:03,647 It's, like, a third of him. 36 00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:23,165 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 37 00:01:23,945 --> 00:01:25,812 - Sup, Peralta? - Hey, what's going on? 38 00:01:25,847 --> 00:01:27,218 Why didn't you tell me you're in jail? 39 00:01:27,243 --> 00:01:28,925 Did you not want me to find out who arrested you? 40 00:01:28,950 --> 00:01:30,201 Is there another cop in your life? 41 00:01:30,226 --> 00:01:32,051 No, none of these pigs mean jack to me. 42 00:01:32,076 --> 00:01:33,505 No offense to Evan. You've been great this week. 43 00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:35,431 I don't understand. I thought you went straight. 44 00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:38,182 I did. I got a job. I have a wife. 45 00:01:38,207 --> 00:01:39,641 But the other day, I was driving 46 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,467 to the new mega Target in South Orange, New Jersey 47 00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,060 because they have 50% off 48 00:01:43,085 --> 00:01:44,789 whole-home mesh wireless systems. 49 00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:45,914 - With a rebate? - No. 50 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,234 Discount taken at register. 51 00:01:47,268 --> 00:01:49,867 - Oh, you gotta hit that. - I know. 52 00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:50,940 And on the way over there, 53 00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:52,963 a guy rear-ended me and the cops showed up. 54 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,613 Turns out I had a warrant out for my arrest. 55 00:01:54,638 --> 00:01:55,776 But we wiped your criminal record. 56 00:01:55,810 --> 00:01:57,051 You wiped my New York record. 57 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:58,502 I stole a car in Trenton five years ago. 58 00:01:58,527 --> 00:01:59,694 Well, you still should have called me. 59 00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,387 - I could've helped you out. - It wouldn't have mattered. 60 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,514 There's a lot of evidence against me. 61 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,866 I left a picture of me at the scene of the crime 62 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,459 with a note bragging about how I did it. 63 00:02:05,484 --> 00:02:07,952 Ah, well, yes, that would make it difficult. 64 00:02:07,977 --> 00:02:09,004 Impossible. 65 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,606 They're moving me to South Woods prison tomorrow. 66 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,674 - Tomorrow? - I know. 67 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,200 But you know what really bums me out? 68 00:02:13,225 --> 00:02:14,468 I had no warning. 69 00:02:14,493 --> 00:02:16,062 I only wish that I had known it was gonna happen 70 00:02:16,097 --> 00:02:18,098 so I could've had one last moment of joy 71 00:02:18,132 --> 00:02:19,139 before I get taken to jail. 72 00:02:19,164 --> 00:02:21,232 But alas...'tis not to be. 73 00:02:21,257 --> 00:02:24,353 Wait a minute. What if it...'tis to be? 74 00:02:24,404 --> 00:02:26,438 What if I drive you to prison? 75 00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:27,463 We could have one more adventure! 76 00:02:27,488 --> 00:02:28,788 Honestly, Jake, I don't see how it's possible 77 00:02:28,813 --> 00:02:30,748 to have fun on a trip to prison. 78 00:02:30,773 --> 00:02:34,175 Yeah, it sucks, but I dunno, maybe for just a few hours, 79 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,535 you could focus on the journey and not the destination. 80 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,595 "Focus on the journey, not the destination." 81 00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,763 I like that; did you steal it from a car commercial? 82 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,665 No. It was an Instagram ad for a travel bidet. 83 00:02:44,690 --> 00:02:47,025 Look, I know it's not perfect, but if you say yes, 84 00:02:47,050 --> 00:02:49,837 I promise I will plan some sexy-ass surprises. 85 00:02:49,862 --> 00:02:51,396 How sexy we talking? 86 00:02:51,585 --> 00:02:53,132 How sexy you got? 87 00:02:53,157 --> 00:02:54,133 _ 88 00:02:54,158 --> 00:02:55,901 Is that a '79 Pontiac Trans Am? 89 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,915 Sexy-ass surprise number one. We're riding in style. 90 00:02:58,940 --> 00:03:00,474 I can't believe the Department of Corrections 91 00:03:00,508 --> 00:03:02,075 was cool with you taking your friend to prison. 92 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,888 Well, I can be very persuasive. 93 00:03:04,170 --> 00:03:05,437 I got the guy and his family 94 00:03:05,462 --> 00:03:07,062 a six-day pass to Pirate's Cove Waterpark. 95 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,521 So many days in the water. 96 00:03:08,590 --> 00:03:09,690 The family's gonna be pruney. 97 00:03:09,715 --> 00:03:10,736 Yeah, it wasn't a good bribe. 98 00:03:10,761 --> 00:03:12,251 - Well, let's hit the road. - Up-bup-bup. 99 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:13,309 Before we do that. There's another surprise, 100 00:03:13,334 --> 00:03:15,220 but I'm gonna need your hands free for this one. 101 00:03:15,245 --> 00:03:16,571 Wait, you got a pen? 102 00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,601 I'll show you a little trick I learned from a magician 103 00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,594 who, for legal purposes, shall remain nameless, 104 00:03:20,628 --> 00:03:24,163 but is unquestionably a mind freak. 105 00:03:24,188 --> 00:03:25,289 Criss Angel. 106 00:03:25,314 --> 00:03:26,681 I can neither confirm nor deny... bam! 107 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,702 Your cuffs and your pen, sir. 108 00:03:28,736 --> 00:03:30,337 That was incredibly fast. 109 00:03:30,371 --> 00:03:32,205 Consider my mind freaked. 110 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,424 On that note, it is time for sexy-ass surprise number two. 111 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,801 A classic Jake and Judy outfit change! 112 00:03:37,941 --> 00:03:39,546 ? Ah! ? 113 00:03:45,319 --> 00:03:46,662 I'm feeling this print. 114 00:03:46,687 --> 00:03:50,090 I thought you might. We got tigers and toucans. 115 00:03:50,115 --> 00:03:51,625 - Tigers and toucs! - Ooh. 116 00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:54,051 And now, for the pièce de résistance. 117 00:03:54,104 --> 00:03:55,037 Oh, ho, ho, ho! 118 00:03:55,062 --> 00:03:56,930 Little French. I like where this is going. 119 00:03:56,964 --> 00:03:58,164 And voilà. 120 00:03:58,199 --> 00:04:00,324 "PB" and "&J." 121 00:04:00,349 --> 00:04:01,558 Pontiac Bandit and Jake. 122 00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:03,178 Go together like peanut butter and jelly. 123 00:04:03,203 --> 00:04:04,203 It's never coming off. 124 00:04:04,228 --> 00:04:05,261 Except for in a couple hours 125 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,406 when I have to check into prison for five years. 126 00:04:06,431 --> 00:04:08,832 Buh-bup-bup... journey, not the destination. 127 00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,667 - It's never coming off. - That's the spirit. 128 00:04:10,759 --> 00:04:12,252 Let's ride. 129 00:04:13,548 --> 00:04:15,181 - Mind if I DJ? - I was counting on it. 130 00:04:15,216 --> 00:04:17,384 Bust out those banging bar mitzvah beats, bruv. 131 00:04:17,418 --> 00:04:18,947 Let's see what you got. 132 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,152 Kendrick Lamar, Meek Mill, 133 00:04:21,355 --> 00:04:24,057 - really a lot of Taylor Swift. - Pfft, I'm over her. 134 00:04:24,091 --> 00:04:26,393 I barely even memorized all the lyrics to "Folklore." 135 00:04:26,427 --> 00:04:27,594 What's SAS3? 136 00:04:27,628 --> 00:04:28,894 I'm glad you asked, mon frère. 137 00:04:28,919 --> 00:04:31,663 That track is sexy-ass surprise number three. 138 00:04:32,934 --> 00:04:33,967 Okay, so I know this audio engineer 139 00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:35,635 who's friends with a guy who's roommates with a guy 140 00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:36,636 who gets lunch for a guy who's friends with a guy 141 00:04:36,671 --> 00:04:38,104 who knows Drake. 142 00:04:38,139 --> 00:04:40,366 And he laid down a beat for us to write a song to! 143 00:04:40,391 --> 00:04:41,791 Drake laid down a beat for us? 144 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,643 What? No, no. The friend did. 145 00:04:43,678 --> 00:04:45,579 The Drake thing was just to establish his credentials. 146 00:04:45,613 --> 00:04:46,542 And it worked. 147 00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:48,424 That dude's, like, six spots removed from Drake. 148 00:04:48,449 --> 00:04:49,716 - He's the real deal. - Mm. 149 00:04:51,452 --> 00:04:52,652 - ? Uh ? - ? Uh ? 150 00:04:52,687 --> 00:04:53,987 - ? Uh ? - ? Uh ? 151 00:04:54,021 --> 00:04:54,854 ? Uh ? 152 00:04:54,889 --> 00:04:56,556 A lot of room for uh's. I like that. 153 00:04:56,591 --> 00:04:57,791 I thought you would. 154 00:04:57,825 --> 00:04:59,960 ? Doug and Jake rolling down the street ? 155 00:04:59,994 --> 00:05:02,429 ? PB and J, a tasty little treat ? 156 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,972 ? Two cool dudes making sandals for your feet ? 157 00:05:04,999 --> 00:05:06,266 - What? - I was going for the rhyme, 158 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,891 but now I kind of feel like it's a good idea. 159 00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:08,883 Love it. 160 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:11,314 ? Making sandals that last is our ideology ? 161 00:05:11,339 --> 00:05:14,140 ? Made real by our patented, strapless technology ? 162 00:05:14,175 --> 00:05:15,842 - It's magnets. - Okay! 163 00:05:15,876 --> 00:05:18,110 ? Yo, you can wear 'em on the beach ? 164 00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:19,294 ? Wear 'em on a hike ? 165 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,697 ? Wear 'em on a Peloton exercise bike ? 166 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,090 ? Doug and Jake, two best friends ? 167 00:05:24,218 --> 00:05:26,686 ? With the premium, open-toed shoes for men! ? 168 00:05:26,721 --> 00:05:27,721 ? Rah! ? 169 00:05:27,755 --> 00:05:29,155 That was crazy. 170 00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:31,257 We never even rehearsed and just did it perfectly. 171 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,659 It was like Jackson Maine and Ally. 172 00:05:32,693 --> 00:05:35,161 - I call Ally. - Aw, I wanted Ally. 173 00:05:35,196 --> 00:05:37,464 Okay, it's time for sexy-ass surprise number four. 174 00:05:37,498 --> 00:05:38,598 Let me ask you this. 175 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,098 If you could eat any meal on Earth, what would it be? 176 00:05:41,135 --> 00:05:42,869 Cheeseburger cracker flavor Combos, 177 00:05:42,903 --> 00:05:45,805 Philly cheesesteaks from Pat's, Popeye's biscuits, 178 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,807 McDonald's fries, Wendy's nuggets, 179 00:05:47,842 --> 00:05:50,043 Sonic tots, fountain Coke, 180 00:05:50,077 --> 00:05:52,379 and of course, my mama's sweet potato pie. 181 00:05:52,404 --> 00:05:53,680 Oh, wow. 182 00:05:53,714 --> 00:05:55,482 That's actually a very tall order, 183 00:05:55,525 --> 00:05:57,760 which I completely filled. 184 00:05:57,785 --> 00:05:59,693 What? You smorgasborded it? 185 00:05:59,718 --> 00:06:01,185 I smorgasborded it! 186 00:06:01,255 --> 00:06:02,989 You know what this calls for? 187 00:06:03,024 --> 00:06:04,482 - What's that? - Foot slap! 188 00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:05,574 Ooh! 189 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:08,804 How did you find cheeseburger cracker Combos? 190 00:06:08,829 --> 00:06:10,997 Weren't they discontinued? Tell me the whole story. 191 00:06:11,032 --> 00:06:12,699 A bodega in Queens had an old box. 192 00:06:12,733 --> 00:06:14,184 - Wow. - Yeah. 193 00:06:14,735 --> 00:06:16,302 - Kind of makes me sad, though. - How come? 194 00:06:16,337 --> 00:06:17,904 One day, it's out in the world thriving, 195 00:06:17,938 --> 00:06:20,607 and then poof, gets pulled off the streets. 196 00:06:20,918 --> 00:06:22,275 Ah. 197 00:06:22,309 --> 00:06:25,378 Well, I mean, it's not like it's gone forever. 198 00:06:25,413 --> 00:06:27,113 You know, it'll be back in circulation soon. 199 00:06:27,138 --> 00:06:29,149 Maybe, but sometimes when a product 200 00:06:29,183 --> 00:06:31,651 is taken off the shelves, it never returns. 201 00:06:31,686 --> 00:06:32,934 It's gonna be okay. 202 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,927 I promise I'll visit the Combos every month. 203 00:06:35,022 --> 00:06:37,386 The Combos will be very grateful for that. 204 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,232 They're lucky to have a friend like you. 205 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,822 - Charles? - Yeah. 206 00:06:45,857 --> 00:06:47,658 - What are you doing? - What are you doing? 207 00:06:47,683 --> 00:06:48,868 Why are you alone with a criminal 208 00:06:48,903 --> 00:06:50,870 who's escaped you multiple times? 209 00:06:50,905 --> 00:06:51,995 Seems like a loaded question. 210 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,347 Oh, that's not even half my load. 211 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,241 - Okay. - Oh, my God. I'm too late. 212 00:06:55,266 --> 00:06:57,668 You're already seduced by Doug Judy's wiles. 213 00:06:57,693 --> 00:06:58,560 Okay, I appreciate the concern, 214 00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,920 but Doug has changed. 215 00:06:59,945 --> 00:07:01,857 This was an old crime, and he's already owned up to it. 216 00:07:01,882 --> 00:07:03,116 He's not trying to escape. 217 00:07:03,150 --> 00:07:04,184 He's already out of his handcuffs. 218 00:07:04,218 --> 00:07:06,286 Just so we can do our sweet-ass outfit change. 219 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,555 - Tigers and toucans! - Tigers and toucans! 220 00:07:08,589 --> 00:07:11,091 Obviously, they're fantastic, but Jake, by trusting him, 221 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,258 you're putting your job on the line, 222 00:07:12,293 --> 00:07:14,518 which means you're also putting my job on the line. 223 00:07:14,543 --> 00:07:15,467 How so? 224 00:07:15,492 --> 00:07:17,273 Because if you get fired, I will swim out into the ocean 225 00:07:17,298 --> 00:07:18,498 until I'm too tired to swim back 226 00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:20,374 and I will sink to the bottom and then I won't have a job. 227 00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:21,632 Oh, my God. All right. 228 00:07:21,657 --> 00:07:23,024 Well, I'm already driving him to prison, 229 00:07:23,049 --> 00:07:24,650 so there's nothing I can do about it now. 230 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,113 Oh, yes, there is. 231 00:07:26,707 --> 00:07:28,108 Welcome to the Boyle bus. 232 00:07:28,142 --> 00:07:29,591 Why we getting in this wack ride? 233 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,011 Charles refuses to accept what close friends we are. 234 00:07:32,046 --> 00:07:33,246 He thinks you're trying to escape 235 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,381 and that your crew's on the lookout for the Trans Am, 236 00:07:35,416 --> 00:07:37,541 so he insisted we switch into his weird family bus. 237 00:07:37,566 --> 00:07:39,000 - That's ridiculous. - Isn't it? 238 00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,359 It doesn't matter what vehicle we're in. 239 00:07:40,384 --> 00:07:41,586 That's what I said. 240 00:07:41,611 --> 00:07:43,132 I'm gonna escape from you either way. 241 00:07:43,157 --> 00:07:44,668 Exactly. Wait, what was that? 242 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,565 I still don't understand. 243 00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:48,593 What do you mean you're escaping? 244 00:07:48,781 --> 00:07:50,281 Sorry, bro. Plan is already in motion. 245 00:07:50,306 --> 00:07:51,449 Trudy came to you. You took the bait. 246 00:07:51,474 --> 00:07:52,537 Come on. 247 00:07:52,571 --> 00:07:53,437 If you were really trying to escape, 248 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:54,705 why would you tell me? 249 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:55,825 Honestly, I didn't like lying to you. 250 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:56,850 You're a good friend. 251 00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:57,942 Well, if I'm such a good friend, 252 00:07:57,976 --> 00:07:59,091 why are you trying to escape from me? 253 00:07:59,116 --> 00:08:00,567 I'm not trying to escape from you. 254 00:08:00,592 --> 00:08:01,692 I'm trying to escape from prison. 255 00:08:01,717 --> 00:08:02,527 Let me ask you this. 256 00:08:02,552 --> 00:08:03,945 Do you know why I stole that car? 257 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,437 Because you "love doing crimes." 258 00:08:05,462 --> 00:08:07,463 That's me directly quoting your catchphrase. 259 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,364 First of all, my catchphrase is "slurp, slurp." 260 00:08:09,392 --> 00:08:11,292 - You've never once said that. - I say it constantly. 261 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,468 Second of all, me "loving crime" 262 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,993 is classic empty bravado. 263 00:08:15,018 --> 00:08:16,285 The truth is I was arrested 264 00:08:16,310 --> 00:08:18,162 when I was 22 for something stupid. 265 00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:19,421 When I got out, nobody would hire me 266 00:08:19,446 --> 00:08:21,414 because I had a criminal record. 267 00:08:21,439 --> 00:08:24,210 My dreams of being a landscape architect were out the window. 268 00:08:24,235 --> 00:08:25,211 That was your dream? 269 00:08:25,236 --> 00:08:26,713 I wanted to be the Black Edward Scissorhands. 270 00:08:26,738 --> 00:08:28,214 - Oh, that's great. - I get all that, 271 00:08:28,239 --> 00:08:29,549 but that's not what this is about. 272 00:08:29,574 --> 00:08:30,774 I mean, you could have escaped from anyone, 273 00:08:30,799 --> 00:08:32,218 but you chose to set me up. 274 00:08:32,243 --> 00:08:34,696 And now my job and my name are all on the line. 275 00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:36,723 You used me, Doug. You're a bad friend. 276 00:08:36,748 --> 00:08:37,974 You're the bad friend. 277 00:08:37,999 --> 00:08:39,499 I got you a tracksuit. Tigers and toucs. 278 00:08:39,524 --> 00:08:40,824 Might as well be a jumpsuit. 279 00:08:40,849 --> 00:08:42,103 A prison jumpsuit. 280 00:08:42,128 --> 00:08:43,688 You're taking me to prison. 281 00:08:43,713 --> 00:08:45,047 The fact that you thought I'd go willingly 282 00:08:45,072 --> 00:08:46,232 means you don't know me at all. 283 00:08:46,257 --> 00:08:48,418 Oh, please. I know everything about you. 284 00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:49,610 You didn't know my catchphrase. 285 00:08:49,635 --> 00:08:51,669 You have never once said "slurp, slurp" before today. 286 00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:53,997 That you believe that is so hurtful. 287 00:08:54,032 --> 00:08:56,576 Okay, well, there's clearly only one way to settle this. 288 00:08:56,601 --> 00:08:58,286 Ignore him and take him directly to prison. 289 00:08:58,311 --> 00:08:59,611 A high-stakes trivia contest 290 00:08:59,636 --> 00:09:00,955 to decide who's the better friend. 291 00:09:00,980 --> 00:09:02,206 - What? - If I win, 292 00:09:02,231 --> 00:09:03,766 you agree not to try and escape. 293 00:09:03,791 --> 00:09:05,251 But if I win, you agree to let me go. 294 00:09:05,276 --> 00:09:06,961 - Deal. - That is a bad idea. 295 00:09:06,986 --> 00:09:08,586 I cannot let you take this risk, Jake. 296 00:09:08,611 --> 00:09:10,345 It'll be just like game night at the Camden Senior Center. 297 00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:11,466 You can be Estelle Minderman. 298 00:09:11,491 --> 00:09:14,159 She's my favorite emcee. Damn it, I'm in! 299 00:09:14,385 --> 00:09:16,320 Charles! 300 00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:17,680 The name of the game is called, 301 00:09:17,705 --> 00:09:19,845 "Who Knows Mo', Friend Or Foe, Are You Fo' Real 302 00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:21,529 - Or Just Fo' Show?" - Little wordy. 303 00:09:21,564 --> 00:09:24,228 Each contestant will answer and ask ten personal questions. 304 00:09:24,253 --> 00:09:26,020 Whoever gets the most correct answers 305 00:09:26,045 --> 00:09:28,041 will be crowned the better friend. 306 00:09:28,066 --> 00:09:30,376 Also, there is that whole "going to prison or not" thing. 307 00:09:30,401 --> 00:09:32,171 America can't relate to the prison stuff; it's too real. 308 00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,697 It's a game about friendship, 309 00:09:33,722 --> 00:09:35,604 and may the better friend win. 310 00:09:35,629 --> 00:09:38,343 Jake, you will ask the first question. 311 00:09:38,368 --> 00:09:39,368 Begin! 312 00:09:39,577 --> 00:09:41,144 What is my middle name? 313 00:09:41,204 --> 00:09:43,505 You tell people it's Zack, but it's really Jeffrey. 314 00:09:43,530 --> 00:09:45,625 No, it's Zack, like Zack Morris. 315 00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:46,632 Point for Doug. 316 00:09:46,657 --> 00:09:48,018 What is the name of the alter ego 317 00:09:48,043 --> 00:09:49,367 I use for fancy crimes? 318 00:09:49,392 --> 00:09:51,839 Lord Poncy Cumbershire. 319 00:09:51,864 --> 00:09:53,431 - 'Tis correct. - Point for Jake. 320 00:09:53,456 --> 00:09:55,635 What is my favorite Knicks memory? 321 00:09:55,660 --> 00:09:57,160 When they fired Phil Jackson. 322 00:09:57,185 --> 00:09:58,151 Mm. 323 00:09:58,176 --> 00:09:59,956 Yeah, that was a good day. 324 00:09:59,981 --> 00:10:01,229 What is the most embarrassing thing 325 00:10:01,254 --> 00:10:02,493 - that's ever happened to me? - Oh, when you were 326 00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,519 cut out of that season of "Real Housewives" 327 00:10:04,544 --> 00:10:06,144 - where you were dating Ramona. - I wasn't embarrassed. 328 00:10:06,169 --> 00:10:07,870 I was just disappointed at the way it was handled. 329 00:10:07,895 --> 00:10:08,928 Yeah. 330 00:10:08,953 --> 00:10:10,720 What is my least favorite word? 331 00:10:10,745 --> 00:10:11,569 Buttress. 332 00:10:11,594 --> 00:10:13,355 It just makes me picture a mattress with a butt. 333 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,279 What is my least favorite thing? 334 00:10:15,304 --> 00:10:17,740 Meringue because it looks so much better than it tastes. 335 00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:18,910 It's a trick food! 336 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,411 Doug's up by one. 337 00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:23,270 Jake, you need to answer the final question correctly. 338 00:10:23,295 --> 00:10:25,963 Otherwise, he wins. Doug, lay it on him. 339 00:10:25,988 --> 00:10:27,002 Hmm. 340 00:10:27,309 --> 00:10:30,878 Jake Peralta, do I have an earring? 341 00:10:32,228 --> 00:10:33,295 Um. 342 00:10:33,756 --> 00:10:35,091 - What? - You heard me. 343 00:10:35,116 --> 00:10:36,583 We've been in the car for three hours. 344 00:10:36,608 --> 00:10:38,701 You've known me for seven years. 345 00:10:38,823 --> 00:10:42,092 Do I have an earring? 346 00:10:42,117 --> 00:10:43,904 Oh, no. I'm drawing a blank. 347 00:10:44,293 --> 00:10:45,993 I can kind of picture a diamond stud. 348 00:10:46,018 --> 00:10:47,251 That'd be a good look. 349 00:10:47,276 --> 00:10:49,480 Or maybe a gold cross or a little hoop. 350 00:10:49,505 --> 00:10:51,139 I do have versatile ears. 351 00:10:51,164 --> 00:10:53,735 Now I'm just seeing it pretty clearly with no earring. 352 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,006 Ah, this is hard. 353 00:10:55,372 --> 00:10:57,300 But I'm gonna go with my gut and say... 354 00:10:57,940 --> 00:10:59,407 yes, you do have an earring. 355 00:11:01,075 --> 00:11:02,927 Nothing but lobe? This whole time? 356 00:11:02,952 --> 00:11:05,311 Since the day we met. 357 00:11:05,336 --> 00:11:07,170 I guess I know you better after all. 358 00:11:08,264 --> 00:11:12,000 - Or do you? - Wait, why are you smiling? 359 00:11:12,804 --> 00:11:14,172 Because we played you! 360 00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:16,911 If you actually knew me, you would have known 361 00:11:16,946 --> 00:11:19,147 that I only agreed to do "Who Knows Mo', Friend Or Foe, 362 00:11:19,181 --> 00:11:20,382 Are You Fo' Real Or Just Fo' Show?" 363 00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:21,922 - In order to stall. - I was in on it. 364 00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:23,414 "Estelle Minderman" 365 00:11:23,439 --> 00:11:25,296 is the code word we use for when there's a twist, 366 00:11:25,321 --> 00:11:27,810 because when Estelle hosts game night at the Senior Center, 367 00:11:27,835 --> 00:11:31,647 she always makes sure one of the games has a sexy twist. 368 00:11:31,672 --> 00:11:34,245 And when I was writing my answers into my phone, 369 00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,837 I was secretly texting Captain Holt 370 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,630 our vehicle description and location. 371 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,164 Backup is already on the way. 372 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,033 Wait, why are you smiling now? 373 00:11:42,058 --> 00:11:43,201 Because I played you. 374 00:11:43,226 --> 00:11:45,093 I knew you would text for backup. 375 00:11:45,118 --> 00:11:47,052 So I changed your contacts while I was DJ-ing. 376 00:11:47,163 --> 00:11:50,799 Kendrick Lamar, Meek Mill, really a lot of Taylor Swift. 377 00:11:50,824 --> 00:11:52,105 So when you were texting Captain Holt, 378 00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:54,631 you were actually texting Trudy Judy. 379 00:11:54,656 --> 00:11:56,256 State troopers are on their way. 380 00:11:56,281 --> 00:11:57,915 Sincerely, Raymond Holt. 381 00:11:57,940 --> 00:11:59,550 Now my crew knows exactly where we are 382 00:11:59,575 --> 00:12:01,427 and exactly what we're driving. 383 00:12:01,452 --> 00:12:03,805 Because I know you mo'. 384 00:12:04,722 --> 00:12:05,756 Slurp, slurp. 385 00:12:09,782 --> 00:12:12,123 What do we do? We can't outrun Doug's men. 386 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,608 The Boyle bus tops out at 50. 387 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,693 I'm calling Holt for help. 388 00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:17,545 - Go for Trudy. - Oh, damn it! 389 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,870 Yeah, I changed all the numbers. 390 00:12:18,895 --> 00:12:20,782 Come on. Charles, give me your phone. 391 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,910 All right, all right. 392 00:12:23,935 --> 00:12:25,937 - Peralta, what's going on? - Sir, I need your help. 393 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,315 Doug Judy tricked me and now his crew knows our location 394 00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:29,874 and they're on their way to help him escape. 395 00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:31,133 - Hey, Captain Holt. - Doug says hi. 396 00:12:31,158 --> 00:12:33,503 How many times have I warned you not to trust that man? 397 00:12:33,528 --> 00:12:34,663 A lot of times. 398 00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,732 But honestly, you tell me not to do things so often, 399 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,383 I kinda just tune it out. 400 00:12:38,408 --> 00:12:39,842 If Doug Judy escapes, 401 00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,568 I can't help you; you will be fired. 402 00:12:41,593 --> 00:12:42,860 Okay, I know I messed up. 403 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,155 But can you at least get us some backup? 404 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,513 Send me a pin of your location. 405 00:12:45,538 --> 00:12:47,183 I'll have state troopers rendezvous with you. 406 00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:48,742 Do Judy's men know what car you're driving? 407 00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:53,338 Yes. They... no. Not for long. 408 00:12:53,363 --> 00:12:54,524 What the hell is this? 409 00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:56,951 This is the front of a Galaxie 500 410 00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,310 welded to the back of a Datsun 411 00:12:58,335 --> 00:12:59,654 with half its windows and no trunk. 412 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:00,655 It's all I could afford. 413 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,448 You really think you're gonna make it to the prison in that? 414 00:13:02,473 --> 00:13:03,972 Well, we only have 38 miles left. 415 00:13:03,997 --> 00:13:05,331 So sorry, Judy, 416 00:13:05,356 --> 00:13:07,590 but it looks like I have the upper hand now. 417 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,010 Door fell off. 418 00:13:14,183 --> 00:13:16,045 So what you want to talk about? 419 00:13:16,070 --> 00:13:18,004 Nothing. We're not talking anymore. 420 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,173 No. No, no, no. 421 00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,011 - No phone call for you. - She's calling for you. 422 00:13:21,036 --> 00:13:22,603 Yeah, it was gonna be another fun road trip surprise. 423 00:13:22,628 --> 00:13:25,054 - But you don't deserve it. - Sup, Rosa? 424 00:13:25,079 --> 00:13:28,425 ? Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy ? 425 00:13:28,450 --> 00:13:30,018 No, no, no, no, there's no singing for him now. 426 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,443 But you made me learn such a long song. 427 00:13:31,468 --> 00:13:32,954 It has 35 verses and no chorus. 428 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,523 I know. I'm sorry. But plans have changed. 429 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,249 Let me guess. Doug wasn't excited about prison 430 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:38,359 and now he's trying to escape? 431 00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:39,610 - Yes. - You know it. 432 00:13:39,635 --> 00:13:41,446 Good luck, Doug. 433 00:13:42,838 --> 00:13:44,991 Thank you for planning that. 434 00:13:45,494 --> 00:13:46,691 - What's the next surprise? - There isn't one. 435 00:13:46,716 --> 00:13:48,215 You ruined it. There's no more fun. 436 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:49,287 So that's how it is? 437 00:13:49,312 --> 00:13:50,746 When it's gonna end with me in prison, 438 00:13:50,771 --> 00:13:52,205 we can have a good time. 439 00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,679 But now it's gonna end with me 440 00:13:53,704 --> 00:13:55,272 riding off into the sunset a free man, 441 00:13:55,297 --> 00:13:56,627 and we're all moody? 442 00:13:56,652 --> 00:13:57,638 You're not escaping. 443 00:13:57,663 --> 00:13:59,100 And if you did, I would lose my badge. 444 00:13:59,125 --> 00:14:01,007 Maybe it's for the best. You'd make a dope realtor. 445 00:14:01,032 --> 00:14:02,499 I don't want to be a realtor. 446 00:14:02,524 --> 00:14:03,958 You're telling me you don't want to sell a penthouse 447 00:14:03,983 --> 00:14:06,284 to Zayn Malik and then party with him afterwards? 448 00:14:06,414 --> 00:14:09,449 I mean... that does sound kind of cool. 449 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:10,941 Next thing you know, you're the go-to guy 450 00:14:10,966 --> 00:14:12,933 for all of One Direction's property needs. 451 00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:14,625 Whoo! 452 00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:16,884 No! There's too much tension between Zayn and the others. 453 00:14:16,909 --> 00:14:18,291 You're selling me a pipe dream. 454 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,985 All I'm saying is you're more than just your job. 455 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,077 You know, it doesn't matter. 456 00:14:22,102 --> 00:14:23,378 It still doesn't give you the right to get me fired. 457 00:14:23,403 --> 00:14:26,212 Honestly, seems like a small price to pay for my freedom. 458 00:14:26,987 --> 00:14:29,346 Think about it. That's all I ask. 459 00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:32,605 Oh, finally. 460 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,440 Captain Raymond Holt called in for backup. 461 00:14:34,475 --> 00:14:35,842 We're supposed to escort you to the prison. 462 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:36,834 Copy that. Thanks. 463 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,053 What are y'all wearing? 464 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,409 Tigers and toucans. 465 00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:40,834 Yessir. 466 00:14:40,859 --> 00:14:42,694 Interesting. And why isn't he cuffed? 467 00:14:42,719 --> 00:14:43,883 Uh, don't worry about it. 468 00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,252 Peralta knows I wouldn't physically overwhelm him. 469 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,137 What's happening here is more of a mental overwhelmsion. 470 00:14:48,162 --> 00:14:50,263 There's been no overwhelmsion of any kind. 471 00:14:50,391 --> 00:14:52,158 And yet I just tricked you into thinking 472 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,869 - "overwhelmsion" is a word. - No. 473 00:14:55,129 --> 00:14:56,665 Stay in contact if you need anything. 474 00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,274 Thank you. 475 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,541 Hey, if we're not gonna talk, 476 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,449 can we at least play some music? 477 00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:06,280 Oh, I can get with this. 478 00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,307 Oompah-oompah-oompah-oompah, oompah-oompah-oompah. 479 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,834 - What are you doing? - Wow. 480 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,435 I can't have a diverse musical palate? 481 00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:13,760 I'm not sure what you're so happy about. 482 00:15:13,797 --> 00:15:14,831 I have backup now. 483 00:15:14,856 --> 00:15:16,123 I'm choosing to focus 484 00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:17,949 on the journey, not the destination. 485 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,042 Suit yourself. 486 00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:19,900 Wait a minute. 487 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,088 This isn't part of your plan. Is it? 488 00:15:22,113 --> 00:15:23,648 Are the state troopers actually your guys? 489 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,458 Sounds like something I would do. 490 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,625 I mean, how would you even have contacted them? 491 00:15:28,186 --> 00:15:29,887 Unless somebody messed with Holt's phone. 492 00:15:29,912 --> 00:15:31,264 Classic Doug. 493 00:15:31,289 --> 00:15:32,590 No, it's crazy. You're just bluffing. 494 00:15:32,615 --> 00:15:33,597 Also classic Doug. 495 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:35,887 - Rerouting. - Rerouting? 496 00:15:35,912 --> 00:15:36,912 It's probably nothing. 497 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,171 I'm sure we're going down a side road 498 00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:39,814 away from the prison for a good reason. 499 00:15:42,649 --> 00:15:43,916 Hey, this is Peralta. 500 00:15:43,941 --> 00:15:45,371 Why'd you guys just turn? Where are you going? 501 00:15:45,396 --> 00:15:46,529 This is the way to the prison. 502 00:15:48,723 --> 00:15:49,690 I'm heading into a trap. 503 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:50,867 - Aren't I? - Hard to say. 504 00:15:50,892 --> 00:15:52,394 But if those are your guys, what are they waiting for? 505 00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:53,820 - Don't know. - But if they're not your guys, 506 00:15:53,854 --> 00:15:54,871 - where are we going? - Unclear. 507 00:15:54,896 --> 00:15:55,832 I'm calling Charles. 508 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:57,522 What's up, Peralta? 509 00:15:57,547 --> 00:16:00,716 No! All right, Jake, stay calm. 510 00:16:00,828 --> 00:16:02,595 This all makes sense. You called for backup. 511 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:03,563 Then Holt said backup was coming. 512 00:16:03,597 --> 00:16:05,173 And now they're here. These guys are real. 513 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,400 If you can't trust them, you can't trust anyone. 514 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,292 You're right. That's good logic. 515 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,285 I can't trust anyone! 516 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,624 Okay. We lost them. 517 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,315 I gotta know, were they actually your guys? 518 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,083 - Nope. - Damn it! I knew it! 519 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,138 Whatever. 520 00:16:25,163 --> 00:16:26,953 It doesn't matter anyway. We're almost there. 521 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,362 We're just taking a different route. 522 00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:30,789 At the next intersection, turn left. 523 00:16:30,814 --> 00:16:31,949 Wait, this doesn't look right. 524 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:32,987 Sure, it does. 525 00:16:33,012 --> 00:16:34,599 We just took a different route, like you said. 526 00:16:34,624 --> 00:16:36,329 Came in the back way. 527 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,133 Yeah, but prison should be visible. 528 00:16:38,348 --> 00:16:40,082 You have reached your destination. 529 00:16:42,226 --> 00:16:43,720 Uh-oh. 530 00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:45,090 Slurp, slurp, Peralta. 531 00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:47,282 Slurp, slurp. 532 00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:51,090 I don't understand. How did this happen? 533 00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:52,891 Remember when I switched out your contacts? 534 00:16:52,916 --> 00:16:55,250 I also changed the destination in your GPS. 535 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:56,375 So we've been driving 536 00:16:56,409 --> 00:16:57,643 to the wrong place this whole time? 537 00:16:57,677 --> 00:16:59,778 Everything else was just a distraction? 538 00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:01,113 I wanted you to focus on the journey, 539 00:17:01,147 --> 00:17:02,203 not the destination. 540 00:17:02,228 --> 00:17:04,203 - Oh. - Yeah. I got that from you. 541 00:17:04,228 --> 00:17:05,796 - Dumbass. - He's not a dumb-ass, Trudy. 542 00:17:05,855 --> 00:17:07,222 It was a brilliant plan. 543 00:17:07,256 --> 00:17:08,757 Yeah, that hinged on him handing you his phone 544 00:17:08,791 --> 00:17:10,868 and not noticing that he was driving directly to us. 545 00:17:10,893 --> 00:17:13,594 Yeah, but there was also some mental misdirection. 546 00:17:13,619 --> 00:17:14,919 It was a bit of a chess match; it's true. 547 00:17:14,944 --> 00:17:17,038 Yeah, a chess match with a dumb-ass. 548 00:17:17,063 --> 00:17:19,078 All right, we gotta move. Judys, you get in the SUV. 549 00:17:19,124 --> 00:17:20,458 I'll take care of the cop. 550 00:17:20,636 --> 00:17:22,628 What do you mean, "take care of him"? 551 00:17:22,672 --> 00:17:24,172 - Shoot him in the face. - What? 552 00:17:24,207 --> 00:17:25,807 - Doug, who are these guys? - I don't know. 553 00:17:25,842 --> 00:17:27,242 Trudy, who are these guys? 554 00:17:27,276 --> 00:17:28,810 Well, your old crew split when you went legit, 555 00:17:28,845 --> 00:17:30,445 so I put a ad for goons on the internet. 556 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:31,713 - TaskRabbit? - Craigslist. 557 00:17:31,739 --> 00:17:33,800 Trudy, never contact Craigslist crooks. 558 00:17:33,903 --> 00:17:35,036 He's a cop. He's seen our faces. 559 00:17:35,061 --> 00:17:36,027 It's okay. He doesn't care about you. 560 00:17:36,052 --> 00:17:37,178 He doesn't even know your names. 561 00:17:37,203 --> 00:17:39,058 - It's Vince Thompson. - Don't tell him! 562 00:17:39,083 --> 00:17:40,416 Look, I'm just after Doug, that's it. 563 00:17:40,441 --> 00:17:41,908 Yeah, he's gonna forget all about you, 564 00:17:41,933 --> 00:17:43,978 guy whose name I can't even remember. 565 00:17:44,003 --> 00:17:45,670 - It's Vince Michael Thompson. - What is wrong with you? 566 00:17:45,695 --> 00:17:47,763 Look, you can let us do what you hired us to do 567 00:17:47,788 --> 00:17:49,655 or you can join your buddy in a ditch. 568 00:17:49,697 --> 00:17:52,198 Fair enough. Enjoy the ditch, Jake. 569 00:17:52,223 --> 00:17:53,556 "Enjoy the ditch"? 570 00:17:53,581 --> 00:17:55,337 Those are your final words to me? 571 00:17:55,371 --> 00:17:57,908 Hey man, it's not a game, and I'm not Estelle Minderman. 572 00:17:57,933 --> 00:18:00,101 Life is about choices, difficult choices 573 00:18:00,168 --> 00:18:01,168 that sometimes... now! 574 00:18:03,484 --> 00:18:04,679 All right, nobody move! Stay where you are! 575 00:18:04,714 --> 00:18:07,516 See you later, dumb-ass! 576 00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:12,693 I'll take the prisoner. 577 00:18:12,718 --> 00:18:14,098 Oh, can you actually give me one second? 578 00:18:14,257 --> 00:18:15,928 Thanks. Look, Doug, 579 00:18:15,984 --> 00:18:17,260 I'm sorry it's gotta be like this. 580 00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:19,327 If you're mad at me, I get it. 581 00:18:19,362 --> 00:18:21,457 I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. 582 00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:23,626 I should never become friends with a cop. 583 00:18:23,651 --> 00:18:25,043 I mean, how'd I expect this to end? 584 00:18:25,068 --> 00:18:27,892 Well, regardless, 585 00:18:28,282 --> 00:18:29,504 thanks for saving me back there 586 00:18:29,539 --> 00:18:30,505 with the Estelle Minderman thing. 587 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:31,778 I wasn't gonna let them hurt you, Jake. 588 00:18:31,829 --> 00:18:35,198 - We're PB and J. - We're PB and J. 589 00:18:35,278 --> 00:18:36,524 Yeah. 590 00:18:36,913 --> 00:18:39,648 I want to hug you, but you're cuffed. 591 00:18:40,864 --> 00:18:42,207 You can hug me. 592 00:18:52,228 --> 00:18:56,331 Okay, you can take him. 593 00:18:57,366 --> 00:18:58,667 I'll see you soon. 594 00:19:03,882 --> 00:19:04,882 _ 595 00:19:04,907 --> 00:19:06,241 Peralta, there's a call for you. 596 00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,035 Oh, is it a casting agent from "Double Dare"? 597 00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:09,277 I submitted it as a kid. 598 00:19:09,312 --> 00:19:10,608 Maybe they're finally calling to put me on the show. 599 00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:12,314 You think they'd be calling 30 years later? 600 00:19:12,348 --> 00:19:14,278 All right, fine. I also submitted to the reboot. 601 00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:15,270 It's not "Double Dare." 602 00:19:15,295 --> 00:19:17,506 It's an inmate from South Hills state prison. 603 00:19:18,828 --> 00:19:19,828 Doug Judy. 604 00:19:22,925 --> 00:19:24,192 - Hello? - Hey, Peralta. 605 00:19:24,227 --> 00:19:26,995 - What's good? - Hey, Doug, are you okay? 606 00:19:27,029 --> 00:19:28,263 I wanted you to know, 607 00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,668 and I've been thinking about it a lot... 608 00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:31,278 I didn't mean what I said. 609 00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:32,548 I'm glad I met you. 610 00:19:32,602 --> 00:19:34,258 Sure, it ended badly, 611 00:19:34,283 --> 00:19:36,297 but we had some good times along the way too. 612 00:19:36,322 --> 00:19:37,582 We went on a cruise together. 613 00:19:37,607 --> 00:19:39,178 We flew on Mark Cuban's jet. 614 00:19:39,203 --> 00:19:41,386 We ate at a restaurant next to Gail from "Top Chef." 615 00:19:41,411 --> 00:19:42,477 Yeah, and then you got 616 00:19:42,502 --> 00:19:44,060 so mad at her about "Last Chance Kitchen." 617 00:19:44,085 --> 00:19:45,598 I wasn't mad. I just think it's insane 618 00:19:45,623 --> 00:19:47,558 that they make you go online to watch it. 619 00:19:47,583 --> 00:19:50,818 The point is I wouldn't trade those moments for anything. 620 00:19:50,843 --> 00:19:53,154 I'm choosing to focus on the journey. 621 00:19:55,391 --> 00:19:57,259 Wait a minute. What language was that? 622 00:19:57,293 --> 00:19:59,633 I don't know. Maybe Dutch. There's a lot of that in here. 623 00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:02,053 You know how active the Dutch mafia is in Jersey. 624 00:20:02,078 --> 00:20:04,045 - Judy. - Okay, fine. 625 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,748 Surprise! I'm in Amsterdam! 626 00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:08,240 I escaped from prison. 627 00:20:08,288 --> 00:20:10,112 My wife and I are living the life here now. 628 00:20:10,137 --> 00:20:11,402 Amsterdam is great. 629 00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,758 Jake, they got universal healthcare, 630 00:20:13,783 --> 00:20:15,126 legalized marijuana, 631 00:20:15,151 --> 00:20:17,419 and the workers are treated so much better. 632 00:20:17,468 --> 00:20:18,801 But you know what the best part is? 633 00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,059 That you're a free man again. 634 00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:21,638 No. Stroopwafels. 635 00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:22,912 They're, like, these wafer cookies 636 00:20:22,937 --> 00:20:24,138 with caramel in between. 637 00:20:24,163 --> 00:20:25,964 Oh, yeah, I think I've seen those at Trader Joe's. 638 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:29,653 Well, look, I guess I'm happy that you're happy. 639 00:20:29,858 --> 00:20:31,959 - Well, I owe it all to you. - What do you mean? 640 00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:34,858 - I think you know what I mean. - Nope, no idea. 641 00:20:34,883 --> 00:20:37,185 Really? Because after we hugged goodbye, 642 00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:38,377 I noticed your pen 643 00:20:38,402 --> 00:20:39,502 was in my pocket. 644 00:20:39,527 --> 00:20:41,828 Oh, that's weird. It was? 645 00:20:41,853 --> 00:20:43,187 Uh-huh, and then I used it 646 00:20:43,212 --> 00:20:44,613 to mind freak myself 647 00:20:44,638 --> 00:20:46,839 out of my cuffs and then out of jail. 648 00:20:47,043 --> 00:20:49,144 Well, then I guess it's certainly lucky 649 00:20:49,178 --> 00:20:50,433 that it ended up in your pocket. 650 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,014 - I wonder how it got there. - Yeah. 651 00:20:53,049 --> 00:20:55,418 Well, I guess we'll never know. 652 00:20:56,264 --> 00:20:58,199 Well, however it got there, 653 00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,557 I'm glad it did. 654 00:21:00,568 --> 00:21:01,840 I love you, Peralta. 655 00:21:02,645 --> 00:21:03,653 Love you, too, Judy. 656 00:21:03,678 --> 00:21:04,678 Tigers and toucs! 657 00:21:06,614 --> 00:21:08,045 Tigers and toucs. 658 00:21:09,344 --> 00:21:13,344 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com