1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,053 All righty. I got all our snacks. 2 00:00:06,058 --> 00:00:09,074 Hot wings, hot Cheetos, hot pretzels, 3 00:00:09,079 --> 00:00:13,284 and the latest edition, hot beers. 4 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,806 Mm. Ugh. 5 00:00:16,811 --> 00:00:19,113 That's the last time I listen to Guy Fieri. 6 00:00:20,162 --> 00:00:21,898 Oh God, I've summoned him. 7 00:00:21,903 --> 00:00:23,578 That's our Postrabbit. 8 00:00:23,583 --> 00:00:27,425 I hired someone to pick up our Game Station X. 9 00:00:27,430 --> 00:00:29,036 - Freddie Benson? - Yeah. 10 00:00:29,041 --> 00:00:31,125 Postrabbit here. I have your box from Blessed Buy. 11 00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,691 Thanks so much. 12 00:00:32,696 --> 00:00:34,563 I just got a Game Station, too. 13 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:35,956 Cool. 14 00:00:35,961 --> 00:00:39,176 Hey, is this your phone number on the order? 15 00:00:39,181 --> 00:00:41,788 It is, why? 16 00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:45,278 Oh, I just thought I could maybe use it sometime for... 17 00:00:45,283 --> 00:00:48,142 For what? Identity theft? 18 00:00:48,147 --> 00:00:52,059 Please delete it. And I'm giving you no stars. 19 00:00:52,064 --> 00:00:53,851 Dude, what the hell? 20 00:00:53,856 --> 00:00:55,653 That cute Postrabbit was totally in to you. 21 00:00:55,658 --> 00:00:57,673 She just wanted a good tip. 22 00:00:57,678 --> 00:00:58,935 Here's a good tip. 23 00:00:58,940 --> 00:01:02,356 You're going to die alone. She wanted your number. 24 00:01:02,361 --> 00:01:04,201 So did that Nigerian prince. 25 00:01:04,206 --> 00:01:07,857 Oh, was he free Friday for drinks? 26 00:01:07,862 --> 00:01:10,760 We got to get you dating again. 27 00:01:10,765 --> 00:01:14,777 Who do I know who loves a short king? 28 00:01:14,782 --> 00:01:16,083 My friend Ramona. 29 00:01:16,088 --> 00:01:17,880 - She's beautiful. - Looks fade. 30 00:01:17,885 --> 00:01:19,590 - She's spontaneous. - I'm a planner. 31 00:01:19,595 --> 00:01:21,014 She's a nuclear physicist. 32 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:23,535 Call her now! 33 00:01:55,562 --> 00:01:57,752 I know you have a work emergency 34 00:01:57,757 --> 00:01:59,382 but can't I just stay home? 35 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,298 You sure can, but Grandma B is harvesting 36 00:02:01,303 --> 00:02:03,478 our garlic kombucha so... 37 00:02:03,483 --> 00:02:05,567 - Yeah, that 'bucha stink. - Mm-hmm. 38 00:02:05,572 --> 00:02:08,309 I guess hanging with Carly is slightly better. 39 00:02:08,314 --> 00:02:09,532 You'll have fun. 40 00:02:09,537 --> 00:02:11,574 I like you hanging there when your mom's out of town. 41 00:02:11,578 --> 00:02:14,054 Carly and Harper are strong, intelligent women. 42 00:02:14,059 --> 00:02:18,058 - They're good role models. - I love you. 43 00:02:18,063 --> 00:02:20,190 Same. 44 00:02:20,195 --> 00:02:22,366 Defense, defense! 45 00:02:22,371 --> 00:02:24,064 Okay, well, that's got to be illegal. 46 00:02:24,069 --> 00:02:25,804 Travel! 47 00:02:25,809 --> 00:02:29,156 - Are you two watching sports? - God, no. 48 00:02:29,161 --> 00:02:32,637 It's our favorite reality show, "The Real Widows of Wisconsin". 49 00:02:32,642 --> 00:02:35,318 It's kind of like sports except these ladies 50 00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:37,059 throw shade, flip tables, 51 00:02:37,064 --> 00:02:39,631 and normally don't shower together. 52 00:02:39,636 --> 00:02:42,473 Yeah, great role models. 53 00:02:42,478 --> 00:02:44,066 And right now, they're fighting 54 00:02:44,071 --> 00:02:45,373 about the big trip of the season. 55 00:02:45,377 --> 00:02:48,871 - Cincinnati. - Ooh. 56 00:02:48,876 --> 00:02:52,222 Countess Debra was 52 miles from diamond status 57 00:02:52,227 --> 00:02:56,083 and couldn't use the lounge. 58 00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,967 Commercial break. 59 00:02:57,972 --> 00:03:00,013 Would Freddie even let you watch a show like this? 60 00:03:00,018 --> 00:03:01,753 He doesn't need to tell me not to. 61 00:03:01,758 --> 00:03:04,104 I don't play in the gutter. 62 00:03:04,109 --> 00:03:07,207 Oh hush, this show is how Carly and I met. 63 00:03:07,212 --> 00:03:08,730 I was working at Skybucks 64 00:03:08,735 --> 00:03:10,675 giving my blazing hot RWoww takes. 65 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,243 Which I agreed with 1,000% so... 66 00:03:13,248 --> 00:03:14,323 When I went on my break, 67 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,421 we talked about the show the entire time and that... 68 00:03:16,425 --> 00:03:19,162 Was the foundation of a lifelong friendship. 69 00:03:19,167 --> 00:03:21,773 Harper was there for me during the hardest time in my life. 70 00:03:21,778 --> 00:03:24,541 When Beau dumped you in front of millions of subscribers? 71 00:03:24,546 --> 00:03:26,039 No. 72 00:03:26,044 --> 00:03:29,129 When I cut my own bangs. 73 00:03:29,134 --> 00:03:31,174 And when I needed a place to live 74 00:03:31,179 --> 00:03:32,784 Carly said I should move in here. 75 00:03:32,789 --> 00:03:36,614 And I'm so glad she did because now she's my BFSS, 76 00:03:36,619 --> 00:03:38,094 Best Friend Since Sam. 77 00:03:38,099 --> 00:03:40,967 And she's my BFUMCER. 78 00:03:40,972 --> 00:03:44,945 Best Friend Unless My Cousin Ever Resurfaces. 79 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:46,795 At least you don't call yourselves something dumb 80 00:03:46,799 --> 00:03:48,191 like Carper. 81 00:03:48,196 --> 00:03:50,680 Oh, my God that's even better than Carhar. 82 00:03:50,685 --> 00:03:52,108 We should get new mugs. 83 00:03:54,246 --> 00:03:55,920 You know cheeses of the world 84 00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:58,201 was the theme of my bat mitzvah. 85 00:03:58,206 --> 00:04:00,595 - You're Jewish? - No, I just wanted one. 86 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,990 Oh, no. 87 00:04:03,995 --> 00:04:06,122 What? I learned Hebrew and everything. 88 00:04:06,127 --> 00:04:07,445 Not that. 89 00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:09,926 I just got an invite to Seattle Fashion Fest. 90 00:04:09,931 --> 00:04:11,045 Oh. 91 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,799 And it's addressed to me and Bo. 92 00:04:12,804 --> 00:04:14,539 Oh. 93 00:04:14,544 --> 00:04:16,150 And you know he's going to be there. 94 00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,065 Bo attends every opening imaginable. 95 00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:21,633 He'd attend a cesarean if they had to step-and-repeat. 96 00:04:21,638 --> 00:04:25,843 You're joking, but he had one at his mom's funeral. 97 00:04:28,149 --> 00:04:29,667 Which still seems better 98 00:04:29,672 --> 00:04:32,757 than running into my ex and his new girlfriend. 99 00:04:32,762 --> 00:04:35,051 Yeah, but you know what's better than that? 100 00:04:35,056 --> 00:04:38,028 Crushing it in front of your ex and his new girlfriend. 101 00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:40,944 Also burritos. 102 00:04:40,949 --> 00:04:42,419 Picture it. 103 00:04:42,424 --> 00:04:45,466 You, gorgeous gown, hot blow out, 104 00:04:45,471 --> 00:04:46,484 a tiny little clutch 105 00:04:46,489 --> 00:04:49,096 that couldn't possibly hold anything. 106 00:04:49,101 --> 00:04:50,532 Cute earrings. 107 00:04:50,537 --> 00:04:53,535 Although will you be able to see them with a blowout? 108 00:04:53,540 --> 00:04:55,477 Good point. You should do a statement necklace. 109 00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:59,306 Yes. Wait, this is fun. 110 00:04:59,311 --> 00:05:01,673 Okay, let's do it. 111 00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:03,775 I'll go to the event, but only if you style me. 112 00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:04,955 Really? Are you sure? 113 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,810 I mean you should be because I'm amazing, but just checking. 114 00:05:07,815 --> 00:05:09,794 Yeah, it's your dream to be a stylist 115 00:05:09,799 --> 00:05:11,814 and if I'm wearing something you picked out, 116 00:05:11,819 --> 00:05:13,625 it'll almost be like having you right next to me. 117 00:05:13,629 --> 00:05:14,843 So you in? 118 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,714 I have a million ideas already. 119 00:05:16,719 --> 00:05:20,040 Great. I just have a couple tiny requests. 120 00:05:20,045 --> 00:05:21,893 Nothing too bright, but not too somber, 121 00:05:21,898 --> 00:05:24,983 love ruffles, hate frills, classic, but daring. 122 00:05:24,988 --> 00:05:27,116 Love sleeveless. Hate my elbows. 123 00:05:27,121 --> 00:05:29,279 Can you do something about that? 124 00:05:29,284 --> 00:05:31,151 My mom knows a doctor in the Cayman Islands, 125 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:33,027 but he might not have a license. 126 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:40,090 So what do you think? 127 00:05:40,095 --> 00:05:44,268 Rite Aid. $11.99. 128 00:05:44,273 --> 00:05:45,704 You look like you're auditioning 129 00:05:45,709 --> 00:05:48,864 - for a high school jazz band. - Is that good? 130 00:05:48,869 --> 00:05:51,258 Maybe Ramona likes jazz. Should I write her a song? 131 00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:54,404 Whoa, daddy-o. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 132 00:05:54,409 --> 00:05:55,498 You haven't even met her yet. 133 00:05:55,502 --> 00:05:57,016 Yeah, I know, but just the fact that I'm excited 134 00:05:57,020 --> 00:05:58,992 means that I'm ready, Spencer. 135 00:05:58,997 --> 00:06:02,325 You have put the ready back in Freddie. 136 00:06:02,330 --> 00:06:06,735 You may be ready, but whoof, have you seen those eyebrows? 137 00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:08,428 You should go take care of those bad boys. 138 00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:10,256 Okay, but this works though. I keep this. 139 00:06:10,261 --> 00:06:13,042 I love it. Yep. 140 00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:14,826 Problem. I showed Ramona pictures of Freddie. 141 00:06:14,831 --> 00:06:16,077 She doesn't want to go out with him. 142 00:06:16,081 --> 00:06:17,643 This could scar him forever. 143 00:06:17,648 --> 00:06:20,154 Relax. It happens to everyone. 144 00:06:20,159 --> 00:06:21,895 Else. 145 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:23,260 Just find him another date. 146 00:06:23,264 --> 00:06:25,035 But then he'll know she rejected him. 147 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,468 It'll crush him before he even gets back out there. 148 00:06:27,473 --> 00:06:30,327 It's got to be Ramona. 149 00:06:30,332 --> 00:06:34,537 Unless it doesn't. 150 00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:36,500 I've got an idea. 151 00:06:40,255 --> 00:06:42,496 Oh, he's just not going to tell us. 152 00:06:44,372 --> 00:06:47,897 Keep your eyes closed. I have a surprise. 153 00:06:47,902 --> 00:06:51,548 - Did you do the dishes? - I said surprise, not miracle. 154 00:06:51,553 --> 00:06:53,637 Now open. 155 00:06:53,642 --> 00:06:56,553 It's our very own styling station. 156 00:06:56,558 --> 00:06:57,938 Harper, this is amazing. 157 00:06:57,943 --> 00:07:00,066 I know, right? I feel like a real stylist. 158 00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:02,185 You are a real stylist. 159 00:07:02,190 --> 00:07:04,187 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 160 00:07:04,192 --> 00:07:06,998 Outfit montage! 161 00:07:08,657 --> 00:07:10,654 It's hurting my retinas. 162 00:07:10,659 --> 00:07:14,864 I feel like the lining of a really expensive casket. 163 00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,573 Too frilly. 164 00:07:16,578 --> 00:07:18,009 Too silly. 165 00:07:18,014 --> 00:07:19,402 Too racy. 166 00:07:19,407 --> 00:07:20,664 Too spacey. 167 00:07:20,669 --> 00:07:22,236 Too flirty. 168 00:07:22,998 --> 00:07:25,165 Too birdy! 169 00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:27,558 Harper, I feel like you're not quite getting it. 170 00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:30,997 I thought we agreed. This is your moment to shine. 171 00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:32,533 You need to be a trailblazer. 172 00:07:32,538 --> 00:07:36,176 Totally. But like an effortless trailblazer. 173 00:07:36,181 --> 00:07:37,407 Like I just got out of bed 174 00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:41,124 and was all "Oops, I just blazed a trail". 175 00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:42,513 Maybe I haven't been clear enough 176 00:07:42,517 --> 00:07:43,766 about what I'm looking for. 177 00:07:43,771 --> 00:07:48,376 No, effortlessly trailblazing could not be clearer. 178 00:07:48,381 --> 00:07:51,434 I know. I'm sorry. 179 00:07:51,439 --> 00:07:54,194 It's just the thought of going out on the red carpet on my own 180 00:07:54,199 --> 00:07:56,779 and seeing Bo and Lita. 181 00:07:56,784 --> 00:07:58,461 It's just hard to choose an outfit for an event 182 00:07:58,465 --> 00:08:00,331 I'm not that excited to go to. 183 00:08:00,336 --> 00:08:04,541 Ooh, maybe you just need some arm candy of your own. 184 00:08:04,546 --> 00:08:06,893 And I have the perfect guy. Trenton 185 00:08:06,898 --> 00:08:08,182 And he is just your type. 186 00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:10,767 - Okay, I'm in. - Yeah! 187 00:08:10,772 --> 00:08:14,144 Wait, is this another one of your man-me-downs? 188 00:08:14,149 --> 00:08:17,539 We... never. 189 00:08:17,544 --> 00:08:20,194 Did we? 190 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:24,404 No. I'm 80% sure we didn't. 191 00:08:25,147 --> 00:08:26,840 Fine. 192 00:08:26,845 --> 00:08:29,277 This is why I got you those color-coded Post-it notes. 193 00:08:29,682 --> 00:08:31,692 Right, right. 194 00:08:38,399 --> 00:08:40,644 - How much do I owe you? - Nothing. 195 00:08:40,649 --> 00:08:42,899 But I would accept your phone number as a tip. 196 00:08:42,904 --> 00:08:45,784 You're sweet, but a date with me cost 500 an hour. 197 00:08:45,789 --> 00:08:49,223 And I bet it is worth every penny. 198 00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:51,839 But yeah, I don't have that so have a great day. 199 00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:55,451 Excuse me. Hi. 200 00:08:55,456 --> 00:08:57,279 Are you the lady from the errand app? 201 00:08:57,284 --> 00:08:59,338 - If that's what you want to call it. - Wow. 202 00:08:59,343 --> 00:09:01,767 Are all the women that work for your company this gorgeous? 203 00:09:01,772 --> 00:09:03,951 My friend hired someone to pick up his package last night 204 00:09:03,955 --> 00:09:05,026 and she was stunning. 205 00:09:05,031 --> 00:09:07,115 We have all different types working for us. 206 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,105 But we all know how to handle a package. 207 00:09:10,110 --> 00:09:11,938 That's great to hear. 208 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:17,664 So let me cut to the chase. I'm pretty desperate. 209 00:09:17,669 --> 00:09:19,362 Most of the guys I work with are. 210 00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:21,143 Then you'll have an easy time with Freddie. 211 00:09:21,147 --> 00:09:23,740 I just need you to have coffee with him tonight. 212 00:09:23,745 --> 00:09:26,108 Just coffee? That's it? 213 00:09:26,113 --> 00:09:27,370 Yeah, but 214 00:09:27,375 --> 00:09:29,528 I need you to pretend to be a woman named Ramona. 215 00:09:29,533 --> 00:09:31,226 - Is that weird? - Ugh, honey, 216 00:09:31,231 --> 00:09:33,968 For the rate you're paying, I'll be whoever you want me to be. 217 00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:37,106 Let me just send you the payment request. 218 00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,601 And we're good to go. 219 00:09:41,606 --> 00:09:44,039 Ouch. That's a really high rate. 220 00:09:44,044 --> 00:09:48,249 Well, we're the best at errands. 221 00:09:48,813 --> 00:09:49,871 And done. 222 00:09:49,876 --> 00:09:53,248 Okay, so my friend Ramona is a nuclear physicist. 223 00:09:53,253 --> 00:09:55,108 Would you be able to handle that kind of backstory? 224 00:09:55,112 --> 00:09:57,252 Sure. And I own plenty of costumes. 225 00:09:57,257 --> 00:09:58,844 Oh, nice. Are you an actress? 226 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:02,854 Most of the time, yes. Unless the guy is really hot. 227 00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:11,266 - Everything looks so good. - Really? 228 00:10:11,271 --> 00:10:14,530 How can you tell? There's no pictures. 229 00:10:14,535 --> 00:10:18,464 Whoa, can you read minds? 230 00:10:18,469 --> 00:10:22,125 No, I can just read. 231 00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:26,603 Harper said you guys met at the gym. 232 00:10:26,608 --> 00:10:28,326 Do you work out at Purple Thesis too? 233 00:10:28,331 --> 00:10:32,113 Yeah, I go Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. 234 00:10:32,118 --> 00:10:34,502 But sometimes I go Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, 235 00:10:34,507 --> 00:10:38,336 Friday and Sunday, because you know, 236 00:10:38,341 --> 00:10:41,296 diversity. 237 00:10:41,301 --> 00:10:44,473 Got it. 238 00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,457 So have you decided on what you're going to eat? 239 00:10:46,462 --> 00:10:49,173 Uh, hello, there's no pictures. 240 00:10:49,178 --> 00:10:51,436 Wow. You're really bad listener. 241 00:10:51,441 --> 00:10:54,352 Harper said we'd be perfect for each other. 242 00:10:54,357 --> 00:10:56,398 I wonder what made her think that. 243 00:10:56,403 --> 00:10:58,182 Are you a Flat Earther too? 244 00:10:58,187 --> 00:11:02,192 There are so few of us who are enlightened. 245 00:11:03,123 --> 00:11:07,328 No, but I wish I could fall off the edge right now. 246 00:11:14,277 --> 00:11:17,884 - Hi. Are you Ramona? - Yes. I'm Ramona. 247 00:11:17,889 --> 00:11:20,539 Ramona, the nuclear science person. 248 00:11:20,544 --> 00:11:23,834 Well, I am very nervous. I mean, that's not my name. 249 00:11:23,839 --> 00:11:26,054 My name is nervous... Freddie, that's my name. 250 00:11:26,059 --> 00:11:30,264 Should I just go home? 251 00:11:31,177 --> 00:11:33,826 Wait, are you laughing with me or at me? 252 00:11:33,831 --> 00:11:37,003 - The good one. - Oh, phew. 253 00:11:37,008 --> 00:11:40,703 Yeah, it's hard for me to tell. I have an 11-year-old daughter. 254 00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:43,401 Okay, Zaddy. 255 00:11:43,406 --> 00:11:46,117 Well, I will look that up later. 256 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,450 Are you just coming from work? 257 00:11:47,454 --> 00:11:49,407 No, I'm just getting started for the night. 258 00:11:49,412 --> 00:11:52,062 - What? - I mean, yes. 259 00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:55,109 I just came from the lab. 260 00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:56,239 Did you know that 261 00:11:56,244 --> 00:11:59,464 the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell? 262 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:03,320 Yes. And did you know that some cells in multicellular 263 00:12:03,325 --> 00:12:07,367 organisms don't have mitochondria at all? 264 00:12:07,372 --> 00:12:08,429 What am I talking about? 265 00:12:08,434 --> 00:12:10,649 - Of course, you do. - Of course, I do. 266 00:12:10,654 --> 00:12:13,056 It's so nice to just talk to you. 267 00:12:13,061 --> 00:12:15,562 It has been so long since I've been on a date. 268 00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:20,103 It's been so long since I actually talked on a date. 269 00:12:20,108 --> 00:12:25,313 Oh, did you also know that H2O is also actually water? 270 00:12:25,818 --> 00:12:30,623 And did you also know that H2-O2 is also hydrogen peroxide? 271 00:12:30,628 --> 00:12:34,570 Of course, I did. I'm a science worker. 272 00:12:35,707 --> 00:12:38,487 God, I miss flirting! 273 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:46,600 It's been a rough week. I need a heavy pour. 274 00:12:51,753 --> 00:12:53,471 Carly! 275 00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:56,561 I've got it. A tux moment. 276 00:12:56,566 --> 00:12:58,947 Powerful, androgynous, timeless, 277 00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:03,094 very HBIC, Head Bitch In Charge. 278 00:13:03,099 --> 00:13:05,444 That sounds a little severe. 279 00:13:05,449 --> 00:13:09,231 How about more Fun Bitch In Charge? 280 00:13:09,236 --> 00:13:12,974 Fun Bitch In Charge In A Tux. 281 00:13:12,979 --> 00:13:15,254 Love it so much. 282 00:13:15,259 --> 00:13:19,464 But I was thinking something totally different. 283 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,218 - Ta-da. - That? 284 00:13:22,223 --> 00:13:23,724 It looks like a dress you would wear 285 00:13:23,728 --> 00:13:26,074 to an Air Force father-daughter dance. 286 00:13:26,079 --> 00:13:30,284 Wow. That's a very specific and on-point read. 287 00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:33,355 I just think maybe I'll be more comfortable 288 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,734 in something I've worn before. 289 00:13:34,739 --> 00:13:36,345 It's a red carpet. 290 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:40,055 You're not supposed to be comfortable. 291 00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:44,266 Okay, it was just a suggestion. 292 00:13:44,271 --> 00:13:45,876 And it's so helpful. 293 00:13:45,881 --> 00:13:48,631 Because this is great practice for when I'll have to deal 294 00:13:48,636 --> 00:13:52,540 with difficult clients one day. I better get to work. 295 00:13:58,868 --> 00:14:03,073 Don't worry. She's still my BFSSBSJBARN. 296 00:14:03,898 --> 00:14:08,203 Best Friend Since Sam But She's Just Being Annoying Right Now. 297 00:14:13,213 --> 00:14:15,427 Ugh! 298 00:14:15,432 --> 00:14:19,083 - Hey! So how did the date go? - I don't want to oversell it. 299 00:14:19,088 --> 00:14:21,694 But that was the best date 300 00:14:21,699 --> 00:14:25,063 that I or anyone else has ever been on. 301 00:14:25,068 --> 00:14:26,569 - Yes! - Whoo! 302 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,745 And now that you've got one date under your belt, 303 00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:29,838 there are plenty more dates 304 00:14:29,843 --> 00:14:31,618 right around the corner with other ladies. 305 00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:33,254 There are definitely more dates coming up 306 00:14:33,259 --> 00:14:34,577 but not with other girls. 307 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:38,276 I asked Ramona to go out again. She said yes. 308 00:14:39,866 --> 00:14:43,865 - For tomorrow at 8:00 p.m.? - Yeah. Wait, how did you know? 309 00:14:43,870 --> 00:14:46,041 Just a lucky guess. 310 00:14:46,046 --> 00:14:47,373 I think Ramona is very special. 311 00:14:47,377 --> 00:14:49,971 I want to take this really, really slowly. 312 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,337 Yeah, but not too slowly. 313 00:14:51,342 --> 00:14:54,645 I mean, dating can be really, really expensive these days. 314 00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:56,699 True, but she's worth it. 315 00:14:56,704 --> 00:14:58,657 Now that I have Ramona, I can do all the things 316 00:14:58,662 --> 00:15:01,778 that I've been wanting to do for so long. 317 00:15:07,963 --> 00:15:09,351 Dang it! 318 00:15:12,768 --> 00:15:14,591 Son of a! 319 00:15:19,688 --> 00:15:21,493 Obscenity! 320 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:31,043 I hate clothes. 321 00:15:31,048 --> 00:15:32,853 Shh! "RWoww" just started. 322 00:15:32,858 --> 00:15:36,863 And thanks to you boomers, I'm emotionally invested. 323 00:15:37,384 --> 00:15:40,469 Ugh! The red carpet is tomorrow. 324 00:15:40,474 --> 00:15:42,837 Why is every dress here just wrong? 325 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,932 At some point, maybe you just have to blame the model. 326 00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:51,349 Carly! It finally happened. 327 00:15:51,354 --> 00:15:53,134 Your cousin resurfaced? 328 00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:56,876 No, I got an outfit that you are going to love. 329 00:15:56,881 --> 00:16:00,532 But that does remind me I should check in with my PI. 330 00:16:00,537 --> 00:16:04,742 Oh, another outfit, hooray. 331 00:16:04,747 --> 00:16:07,670 It's perfection and all it took was 332 00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,933 some creative thinking, a couple of sketches, 333 00:16:09,938 --> 00:16:12,849 and Spencer's credit card ending with 6821. 334 00:16:12,854 --> 00:16:15,808 I got real lucky with that security code. 335 00:16:15,813 --> 00:16:19,421 I'd love to try it on but "RWoww" just started. 336 00:16:19,426 --> 00:16:22,554 Carly, is everything okay? 337 00:16:22,559 --> 00:16:25,196 No, I'm stuck in a dress. 338 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,268 Whoa! Cynthia Morgan just called off 339 00:16:27,273 --> 00:16:30,778 her wedding to Mauricio Vandercliff! 340 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:36,307 - How could this be happening? - Good for her. 341 00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:38,570 Good? I thought we agreed 342 00:16:38,575 --> 00:16:41,082 that Mauricio was perfect for Cynthia. 343 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:44,992 Things change. And Mauricio is way better off. 344 00:16:44,997 --> 00:16:46,876 How do you know what's best for Mauricio? 345 00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,096 Oh, she did not just go there. 346 00:16:49,101 --> 00:16:50,880 You have no idea what's happening 347 00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,123 in Mauricio's head. 348 00:16:52,128 --> 00:16:54,195 He's got a lot going on right now. 349 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,805 He just got broken up with 350 00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:57,329 and now he's launching his new channel 351 00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:00,070 and trying to pick this dress for Fashion Fest! 352 00:17:00,075 --> 00:17:04,280 Well, it would be a lot easier to help Mauricio 353 00:17:04,285 --> 00:17:07,227 if he didn't have his head so far up his own dress. 354 00:17:07,232 --> 00:17:11,057 Yes! Fill that tea! 355 00:17:11,062 --> 00:17:13,890 Look I'm doing the best I can. 356 00:17:13,895 --> 00:17:15,731 But you're just not listening to me. 357 00:17:15,736 --> 00:17:17,746 I'm trying to listen. 358 00:17:17,751 --> 00:17:20,762 I've worked really hard on this so can you just trust me? 359 00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:24,287 Oh, like I did with Trenton? You said he was just my type. 360 00:17:24,292 --> 00:17:26,724 What are you talking about? He was smoking. 361 00:17:26,729 --> 00:17:28,626 Yeah, but that was just his last two brain cells 362 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,254 rubbing together. 363 00:17:30,259 --> 00:17:34,919 - Fine. You do what you want. - Great. I'm going to my room. 364 00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:41,596 Which I can't even get to because of all these dresses. 365 00:17:41,601 --> 00:17:45,365 - Table flip! - I have to return those! 366 00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:47,584 Go ahead because I'm not wearing any of them. 367 00:17:47,589 --> 00:17:51,719 - I'm not going anymore. - Oh, can you two keep it down? 368 00:17:51,724 --> 00:17:55,729 I'm trying to watch this epic fight. 369 00:18:16,787 --> 00:18:18,827 I'm sad. 370 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:22,483 Heard you the whole time. What's up? 371 00:18:22,488 --> 00:18:23,832 Harper and I had a fight. 372 00:18:23,837 --> 00:18:26,096 I'm sorry. Is Carper breaking up? 373 00:18:26,101 --> 00:18:29,926 Look out world. Spencely is back! 374 00:18:29,931 --> 00:18:33,059 Just this whole styling thing's been really tense. 375 00:18:33,064 --> 00:18:35,031 And then she set me up with a guy who she said 376 00:18:35,036 --> 00:18:38,282 would be perfect for me. And he was so dumb. 377 00:18:38,287 --> 00:18:41,792 - He hot though? - Stupid hot. 378 00:18:42,595 --> 00:18:45,115 - Yeah, that's your type. - Are you calling me shallow? 379 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,334 No, I'm calling you consistent. 380 00:18:47,339 --> 00:18:49,841 Think back on all the guys you've dated over the years. 381 00:18:49,846 --> 00:18:52,252 Gorgeous dum-dums. Himbos! 382 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:56,262 Pretty in the face-a. empty in la cabeza. 383 00:18:56,770 --> 00:19:00,508 Wow, that is my type. 384 00:19:00,513 --> 00:19:02,946 Damn it, Harper was right about the guy. 385 00:19:02,951 --> 00:19:05,222 She was probably right about the dress too. 386 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:08,529 Should I wear a bird? 387 00:19:08,534 --> 00:19:10,183 I feel like I'm missing something here. 388 00:19:10,188 --> 00:19:13,099 No, I am. I'm missing this event. 389 00:19:13,104 --> 00:19:15,101 And Harper is missing a big styling opportunity 390 00:19:15,106 --> 00:19:17,843 and a bunch of publicity. What should I do? 391 00:19:17,848 --> 00:19:21,138 Go make it up to her. Go Carly, go! Come on! 392 00:19:21,143 --> 00:19:24,167 Not till you give me advice! I need your advice! 393 00:19:24,172 --> 00:19:26,647 Okay, I hired an actress off Postrabbit 394 00:19:26,652 --> 00:19:28,288 to ease Freddie back into dating, but... 395 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:29,624 Postrabbit? 396 00:19:29,629 --> 00:19:33,815 Spencer, this is EagerBunny. It's for hiring sex workers. 397 00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:36,557 My friend Anna put herself through law school on that app. 398 00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:40,767 So she's not... oh. But there was a charge... oh. 399 00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:44,931 And the costume, yeah. What am I going to do? 400 00:19:44,936 --> 00:19:46,367 Just be honest with Freddie. 401 00:19:46,372 --> 00:19:48,179 He'll understand you were just trying to help. 402 00:19:48,183 --> 00:19:49,906 Or I could get him a celebrity apology 403 00:19:49,911 --> 00:19:51,398 from ContritionPigeon. 404 00:19:51,403 --> 00:19:55,446 Or you can just report your credit card as stolen. 405 00:19:55,451 --> 00:19:59,102 But not the one ending in 6821. 406 00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:07,371 Hey, Melissa, have you seen your dad? 407 00:20:07,376 --> 00:20:09,808 He went to go see his new lady friend Ramona. 408 00:20:09,813 --> 00:20:13,818 Damn it. Oh, that'll cost me. 409 00:20:14,557 --> 00:20:16,858 Oh, hey, man, listen, we have to talk. 410 00:20:16,863 --> 00:20:18,469 Can it wait? I'm a bit bummed. 411 00:20:18,474 --> 00:20:20,123 I just ended things with Ramona. 412 00:20:20,128 --> 00:20:22,560 Oh, thank God. 413 00:20:22,565 --> 00:20:26,103 That you had the courage to let her down gently. 414 00:20:26,108 --> 00:20:27,469 I'm sorry Millicent, 415 00:20:27,474 --> 00:20:29,480 but I just dumped your future stepmother. 416 00:20:29,485 --> 00:20:30,698 Never met this woman. 417 00:20:30,703 --> 00:20:33,875 Thought the photos were only okay. 418 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,052 It was great getting to know her, but I don't know. 419 00:20:36,057 --> 00:20:39,272 - There's just no spark. - No spark? 420 00:20:39,277 --> 00:20:41,374 Was expecting a damn rocket launched to Mars 421 00:20:41,379 --> 00:20:43,189 after all that 422 00:20:43,194 --> 00:20:45,713 romance and listening. 423 00:20:45,718 --> 00:20:46,993 Look, don't get me wrong. 424 00:20:46,998 --> 00:20:50,022 I love a woman with a career but she kept leaving our date 425 00:20:50,027 --> 00:20:54,032 so abruptly for "nuclear physicist emergencies". 426 00:20:54,037 --> 00:20:56,724 And always right on the hour. 427 00:20:56,729 --> 00:20:59,727 But hey, even though it didn't work out with Ramona, 428 00:20:59,732 --> 00:21:02,513 the ready is still in Freddie. 429 00:21:02,518 --> 00:21:05,129 We got to get you a new catchphrase. 430 00:21:07,844 --> 00:21:09,563 What's everyone doing in my apartment? 431 00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:11,549 I was here trying to get some peace and quiet after 432 00:21:11,553 --> 00:21:15,758 Carly left for Fashion Fest. But clearly that plan failed. 433 00:21:15,763 --> 00:21:18,078 She actually went? What did she wear? 434 00:21:18,083 --> 00:21:21,434 I don't know. All I saw was those jacked up elbows. 435 00:21:24,253 --> 00:21:25,379 Carly! 436 00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:34,736 - Carly! Wait, wait! - Harper! 437 00:21:34,741 --> 00:21:37,417 Okay, before you say anything, I just have to say I'm sorry. 438 00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,332 - I'm sorry too but... - No, it's okay. 439 00:21:39,337 --> 00:21:40,464 You're brilliant. 440 00:21:40,469 --> 00:21:43,206 You used my old dress and I feel so confident. 441 00:21:43,211 --> 00:21:44,555 You can't go out there in this. 442 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:45,834 What? What do you mean? 443 00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:47,055 I was just about to... 444 00:21:47,059 --> 00:21:48,776 Oh, my God. 445 00:21:48,781 --> 00:21:50,081 We never did a fitting. 446 00:21:50,086 --> 00:21:52,083 These are all just temporary stitches. 447 00:21:52,088 --> 00:21:54,260 Oh no, what am I going to do? 448 00:21:54,265 --> 00:21:57,486 Don't worry, I got you. 449 00:22:04,362 --> 00:22:06,794 So are we good? 450 00:22:06,799 --> 00:22:09,480 I mean, I did flip a table. 451 00:22:09,485 --> 00:22:13,490 Can I be honest with you? It was iconic. 452 00:22:14,172 --> 00:22:17,414 Even though I was so angry, I was secretly living for it. 453 00:22:19,725 --> 00:22:23,237 Same. I just wish you'd thrown a drink in my face. 454 00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:25,505 Ooh, we'll save that for our next fight. 455 00:22:31,611 --> 00:22:33,913 By the way, you were so right. 456 00:22:33,918 --> 00:22:36,911 My type is totally hot and dumb. 457 00:22:36,916 --> 00:22:39,697 What a revelation. Do I need therapy? 458 00:22:39,702 --> 00:22:41,525 No, I'm good. 459 00:22:44,524 --> 00:22:46,217 Promise me you'll never let go. 460 00:22:46,222 --> 00:22:49,399 I'll never let go Carly, I'll never let go. 461 00:22:56,698 --> 00:22:59,260 No sudden moves. 462 00:22:59,265 --> 00:23:02,133 - We live here now. - Okay. 463 00:23:06,381 --> 00:23:10,586 Hey Harper, it's me, Countess Debra, duh. 464 00:23:10,591 --> 00:23:14,721 This is your ContritionPigeon from your friend Carly. 465 00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:20,131 She wants me to let you know that you are so talented. 466 00:23:20,136 --> 00:23:22,717 That outfit you put together 467 00:23:22,722 --> 00:23:25,881 was effortlessly trailblazing. 468 00:23:25,886 --> 00:23:30,091 It was so Fun Bitch In Charge. 469 00:23:31,449 --> 00:23:35,492 Also, please forgive Carly for being so difficult 470 00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:37,729 but also, like, you are no cakewalk, either. 471 00:23:37,734 --> 00:23:40,210 Irregardless, please forgive her. 472 00:23:40,215 --> 00:23:42,542 Just like I forgave my dead husband, 473 00:23:42,547 --> 00:23:45,458 who I miss so much 474 00:23:45,463 --> 00:23:47,247 and I definitely didn't kill 475 00:23:47,252 --> 00:23:50,299 to get on "The Real Widows Of Wisconsin". 476 00:23:51,561 --> 00:23:54,080 In conclusion... 477 00:23:54,085 --> 00:23:55,821 feminism. 478 00:23:55,826 --> 00:23:59,042 Like I always say, money isn't a thing, 479 00:23:59,047 --> 00:24:01,958 it's everything! 480 00:24:01,963 --> 00:24:04,569 Bye. 481 00:24:04,574 --> 00:24:06,827 It's everything! 482 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -