1
00:00:23,778 --> 00:00:25,168
_

2
00:00:27,246 --> 00:00:30,879
_

3
00:00:33,918 --> 00:00:39,293
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

4
00:00:40,032 --> 00:00:42,869
And also Buckingham Palace have been
in touch to ask if we can have another look

5
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,738
at their firewall because
the queen's still receiving

6
00:00:44,763 --> 00:00:46,753
pop-ups for erectile dysfunction.

7
00:00:46,778 --> 00:00:48,870
I once took one of
those tablets by mistake.

8
00:00:48,895 --> 00:00:51,667
- Did it work?
- Yes.

9
00:00:51,692 --> 00:00:53,413
Happy Valentine's Day.

10
00:00:53,447 --> 00:00:55,167
Oh. Are they all yours?

11
00:00:55,192 --> 00:00:57,801
No. A lot of these are
international arrest warrants.

12
00:00:57,826 --> 00:01:00,051
I just didn't want to miss anything.

13
00:01:00,076 --> 00:01:01,981
Oh. Anything in there
with my name on it?

14
00:01:02,006 --> 00:01:04,485
- Why? What did you do?
- Oh, God, no. Nothing.

15
00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:06,469
It's just me and Charlotte from GCHQ

16
00:01:06,494 --> 00:01:08,763
been having had a little bit of
e-mail back and forth recently.

17
00:01:08,788 --> 00:01:11,530
Is that the tall girl
with mad cow disease?

18
00:01:11,555 --> 00:01:13,288
- No. Who's that?
- Morning, everyone.

19
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,373
Oh, shit. Did someone die?

20
00:01:15,398 --> 00:01:17,390
Yes, about 80 million people.

21
00:01:17,415 --> 00:01:19,866
This week, we're celebrating 76 years

22
00:01:19,891 --> 00:01:21,827
since the end of World War II.

23
00:01:21,852 --> 00:01:24,085
By dressing as Hitler and his dentist.

24
00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:27,600
- Wait. I have to wear this for a whole week?
- Yes.

25
00:01:28,078 --> 00:01:32,243
This is a Women's Auxiliary
Air Force pilot's uniform,

26
00:01:32,268 --> 00:01:34,291
used to belong to
your great-grandmother.

27
00:01:34,316 --> 00:01:36,900
Wow, so your grandmother could fly.

28
00:01:36,925 --> 00:01:38,377
Yeah. Does that surprise you?

29
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:40,323
No. I just didn't
know women were allowed

30
00:01:40,348 --> 00:01:41,769
to fly planes back then.

31
00:01:41,794 --> 00:01:43,833
I'd worry about how safe that was.

32
00:01:43,858 --> 00:01:46,402
Lots of kamikaze pilots were women.

33
00:01:46,427 --> 00:01:49,044
Exactly, because they're
the best at crashing.

34
00:01:49,069 --> 00:01:50,986
Also, I was very pleased to see

35
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:53,487
that last week's Hinkley Point success

36
00:01:53,512 --> 00:01:56,956
featured heavily on page
3 of the "Telegraph."

37
00:01:56,981 --> 00:01:58,940
Wait. Why wasn't I
asked to pose for that?

38
00:01:58,965 --> 00:02:00,444
It's not that sort of paper.

39
00:02:00,469 --> 00:02:03,675
What they didn't report
is that, despite GCHQ

40
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:06,099
regaining full control of Eternal Blue,

41
00:02:06,124 --> 00:02:09,631
a hybrid weapon is already
being rebuilt by the Russians

42
00:02:09,656 --> 00:02:14,241
with the capacity to disrupt air traffic
control services across the globe.

43
00:02:14,266 --> 00:02:15,125
Gosh.

44
00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:17,266
That's exactly what
happens in "Die Hard 2."

45
00:02:17,563 --> 00:02:19,883
Did they even mention me
by name in the article or...

46
00:02:19,908 --> 00:02:20,750
No.

47
00:02:20,775 --> 00:02:24,860
Here at GCHQ, we prefer
individuals to remain anonymous.

48
00:02:24,885 --> 00:02:27,045
Well, it's certainly working.

49
00:02:27,070 --> 00:02:30,148
By the way, who are you talking
to at the NSA about this?

50
00:02:30,173 --> 00:02:32,092
- Aled Jones.
- "The Snowman"?

51
00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:35,237
Well, if you want Jonesy and
me to put our heads together,

52
00:02:35,262 --> 00:02:37,423
I'm sure we can locate these guys.

53
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:39,247
Besides, I'd love to
take a crack at saving

54
00:02:39,272 --> 00:02:42,330
the whole world, not
just this little island.

55
00:02:42,355 --> 00:02:44,626
Well, we can discuss
that with Rupert later,

56
00:02:44,651 --> 00:02:47,033
but personally, I feel your ego

57
00:02:47,058 --> 00:02:48,815
may prove to be too
much of a distraction.

58
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,400
Oh, come on, Chris.
Give me a little credit.

59
00:02:51,425 --> 00:02:55,199
It's not always gonna be about...
Oh, my God, are those for me?

60
00:02:55,224 --> 00:02:56,941
Yeah. They've just arrived.

61
00:02:56,966 --> 00:02:58,309
Wow.

62
00:03:00,242 --> 00:03:02,294
Oh, what?

63
00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:08,998
Oh, my this is so
embarrassing. Thank you so much.

64
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,115
They're not from me.

65
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:12,483
No, but still, I mean,
it's just so sweet of you

66
00:03:12,508 --> 00:03:13,796
to give me these flowers.

67
00:03:13,821 --> 00:03:14,679
They're not from me.

68
00:03:14,704 --> 00:03:16,694
No. I know, but the way
you handed them to me

69
00:03:16,719 --> 00:03:17,983
was just so sweet.

70
00:03:18,008 --> 00:03:18,922
- Can I go?
- Yeah.

71
00:03:18,947 --> 00:03:20,268
I don't even remember your name.

72
00:03:20,293 --> 00:03:24,937
Wow. Oh, these are incredible.

73
00:03:25,609 --> 00:03:27,944
Thank you. Look, a card.

74
00:03:27,969 --> 00:03:30,546
Did I not even get, like,
an arrest warrant, then?

75
00:03:31,026 --> 00:03:32,623
So sorry, buddy.

76
00:03:32,648 --> 00:03:37,468
"To Jerry. Mwah!
Love... " question mark.

77
00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:40,897
I just want to say, if
the person who got me these

78
00:03:40,922 --> 00:03:46,358
happens to be in this room,
from the bottom of my heart...

79
00:03:49,714 --> 00:03:50,745
Thank you.

80
00:03:50,770 --> 00:03:52,441
Surely, you're not serious.

81
00:04:08,009 --> 00:04:09,111
Yeah?

82
00:04:09,339 --> 00:04:11,822
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up. I'm busy.

83
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,173
Oh, not much. Oh!

84
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:16,721
I'm just a little bit lonely and bored.

85
00:04:16,746 --> 00:04:18,096
Do you mind if I sniff your flowers?

86
00:04:18,121 --> 00:04:19,642
No. Knock yourself out.

87
00:04:42,364 --> 00:04:44,974
Very nice.
You know these weren't from me, yeah?

88
00:04:44,999 --> 00:04:46,794
I just didn't know if you were
expecting a Valentine's gift

89
00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:48,020
just because we used to be married.

90
00:04:48,045 --> 00:04:49,013
No, and listen.

91
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,920
I'd rather you didn't
keep using that phrase

92
00:04:50,945 --> 00:04:54,303
"used to be married" because
it kind of makes it sound

93
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:56,303
like it was for real, OK?

94
00:04:56,328 --> 00:04:58,617
Right. What would you
prefer I use, then,

95
00:04:58,642 --> 00:05:00,578
"sort of recently separated"?

96
00:05:00,603 --> 00:05:03,132
- Again, I just don't think...
- "Widows?"

97
00:05:03,157 --> 00:05:04,648
- You know what?
- I'd be up for that.

98
00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:07,313
How about you don't
refer to it ever again?

99
00:05:07,532 --> 00:05:08,860
OK. You know, I'll try.

100
00:05:08,885 --> 00:05:09,594
OK.

101
00:05:12,238 --> 00:05:14,472
So you're not even a bit curious
as to who they're from?

102
00:05:14,497 --> 00:05:17,175
Yeah. I'm kind of busy
protecting all mankind

103
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,136
right now, so...

104
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,913
I guess I was just secretly hoping

105
00:05:28,938 --> 00:05:31,742
that, you know, you wouldn't
get anything, either,

106
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,992
and then we could be lonely together.
You know what I mean?

107
00:05:34,017 --> 00:05:36,047
Oh, my God, I almost forgot.

108
00:05:36,072 --> 00:05:42,017
Look what just arrived from... for
you in the internal mail system.

109
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:45,174
- Oh, my God.
- I know. Go open it.

110
00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:47,784
Oh, my God, oh, is this from you?

111
00:05:48,002 --> 00:05:49,213
Are you kidding?

112
00:05:49,238 --> 00:05:52,189
You think I'd, what, get you a
Valentine's Day card out of pity?

113
00:05:52,214 --> 00:05:53,423
I wouldn't hold it against you.

114
00:05:53,448 --> 00:05:54,712
No. I'm not that nice.

115
00:05:54,737 --> 00:05:55,697
Oh, swear on your life.

116
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:57,883
I swear on your life, buddy.

117
00:05:57,908 --> 00:06:00,148
Oh, my God.

118
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:05,855
"Hey, sexy... " comma, "stay
amazing. Kiss," full stop.

119
00:06:06,776 --> 00:06:08,262
- There.
- Aww.

120
00:06:09,961 --> 00:06:12,230
My God, do you think it's
from Charlotte, maybe?

121
00:06:12,255 --> 00:06:13,609
- Could be.
- Ohh...

122
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,299
But actually, we've never met.

123
00:06:16,324 --> 00:06:17,155
So?

124
00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:19,515
Well, so she's not really
had the full experience.

125
00:06:19,540 --> 00:06:20,703
- Right. Yeah.
- Yeah.

126
00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,023
Still, it's possible.

127
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,118
Yeah. Maybe I'll just text her and ask.

128
00:06:24,143 --> 00:06:26,143
No. Don't. No. Don't do that.

129
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,288
No?

130
00:06:27,313 --> 00:06:30,126
Nope, because what if it isn't?

131
00:06:30,151 --> 00:06:32,690
- Mm.
- Right, and if it is,

132
00:06:32,715 --> 00:06:35,651
You don't want her
knowing that you know.

133
00:06:35,676 --> 00:06:37,519
Maybe I'll just get
handwriting analysis done, then.

134
00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:38,744
No. What? Where?

135
00:06:38,769 --> 00:06:40,035
Here. It's downstairs.

136
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:42,472
No, absol... No, absolutely not.

137
00:06:42,497 --> 00:06:45,153
Do not to that. OK. Well, listen, buddy.

138
00:06:45,178 --> 00:06:48,356
Right now, that card
could be from anyone.

139
00:06:48,381 --> 00:06:51,929
It's almost more fun not
knowing who it's from.

140
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:53,591
What's your wildest fantasy?

141
00:06:53,616 --> 00:06:55,357
Meeting someone who could fly.

142
00:06:55,675 --> 00:06:57,980
No. I mean, if that
card could be from anyone

143
00:06:58,005 --> 00:06:59,995
in the world, who would
you want it to be from?

144
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,144
I guess it'd be a toss-up

145
00:07:01,169 --> 00:07:04,520
between David Attenborough and
Princess Jasmine from "Aladdin."

146
00:07:04,545 --> 00:07:06,176
- The live action or...
- The cartoon.

147
00:07:06,201 --> 00:07:08,645
- The cartoon. There you go.
- Yeah.

148
00:07:17,766 --> 00:07:19,170
- Hey.
- You all right?

149
00:07:19,195 --> 00:07:22,382
Yeah. I have a handwriting
sample that needs analyzing.

150
00:07:22,407 --> 00:07:24,007
I was told you were
the best person to ask.

151
00:07:24,032 --> 00:07:25,187
Case number?

152
00:07:26,521 --> 00:07:27,538
Right. Yeah.

153
00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:29,576
It hasn't actually been
assigned a number yet.

154
00:07:29,601 --> 00:07:30,537
Why not?

155
00:07:31,344 --> 00:07:33,654
I know it's gonna sound really weird,
but I think they've just run out.

156
00:07:33,679 --> 00:07:35,160
They've run out of numbers?

157
00:07:35,185 --> 00:07:36,835
Well, no, not run out.

158
00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:39,038
I think they've just used
them all up on other cases.

159
00:07:39,063 --> 00:07:41,804
I don't know if you've
ever had that happen before.

160
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,454
Who is the supervising
officer on the case?

161
00:07:43,479 --> 00:07:44,860
I can touch via scope here.

162
00:07:44,885 --> 00:07:49,133
Right. Yes. Gosh, I'm
so bad with names...

163
00:07:50,552 --> 00:07:52,068
and there are so many now, aren't there?

164
00:07:52,093 --> 00:07:54,372
- There's only 4.
- There's only 4?

165
00:07:55,268 --> 00:07:56,607
Oh. Seemed like...

166
00:07:56,816 --> 00:08:00,284
Well, I'm guessing...

167
00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:03,386
ma-male.

168
00:08:03,411 --> 00:08:06,168
- White?
- Yeah, probably. I mean...

169
00:08:06,435 --> 00:08:07,520
Or not. Or not.

170
00:08:07,545 --> 00:08:09,278
I mean, you know, they
could've been more like...

171
00:08:09,303 --> 00:08:13,256
or, you know... or the
color of this folder or not.

172
00:08:13,281 --> 00:08:15,631
Well, there are no blue
supervising officers.

173
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,774
And I think that is so bad nowadays.

174
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:19,790
Are you taking the piss?

175
00:08:19,815 --> 00:08:21,243
Oh, no. God, no. No.

176
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:23,422
I just, you know... I'm
on your side, obviously.

177
00:08:23,447 --> 00:08:25,384
- What side's that, then?
- I'm like you, aren't I?

178
00:08:25,409 --> 00:08:26,228
You're a Black woman?

179
00:08:26,253 --> 00:08:27,579
Well, no, not quite, but I'm half.

180
00:08:27,604 --> 00:08:29,782
- Are you half a Black woman?
- I'm just a complete mix.

181
00:08:29,807 --> 00:08:31,501
- Of black and blue.
- Of Black and white.

182
00:08:31,526 --> 00:08:33,119
Oh, so you're gray.

183
00:08:35,219 --> 00:08:38,893
So I have a handwriting
sample that needs analyzing.

184
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,278
Oh, God.

185
00:08:43,998 --> 00:08:45,749
Please don't tell me those are for me.

186
00:08:47,636 --> 00:08:50,030
No. No, of course not. These are mine.

187
00:08:50,055 --> 00:08:51,687
You've got another bunch of flowers?

188
00:08:51,712 --> 00:08:53,515
No. This is the same bunch.

189
00:08:53,540 --> 00:08:55,805
I just didn't want to
leave them lying around.

190
00:08:55,830 --> 00:08:56,828
It's just not safe.

191
00:08:56,853 --> 00:08:58,837
This is one of the safest
buildings on the planet.

192
00:08:58,862 --> 00:09:01,103
I just don't want
anyone tripping over them

193
00:09:01,128 --> 00:09:04,008
and risk hurting the arrangement.

194
00:09:04,536 --> 00:09:06,527
Do you mind if we
have a word in private?

195
00:09:06,552 --> 00:09:08,715
- Evelyn.
- But I only just sat down.

196
00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:09,848
You've been sitting down all day.

197
00:09:09,873 --> 00:09:11,676
- Yeah, but not like this.
- Please?

198
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,913
Ohh...

199
00:09:16,232 --> 00:09:17,553
Thank you.

200
00:09:17,944 --> 00:09:19,858
Can I just say, for the first 6 months,

201
00:09:19,883 --> 00:09:22,725
I had no idea you two
were mother and daughter.

202
00:09:22,750 --> 00:09:24,046
Well, I try not to make

203
00:09:24,071 --> 00:09:25,890
too much of a song and dance about it.

204
00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:27,236
No. I completely get it.

205
00:09:27,261 --> 00:09:29,203
I'd be the same if I were your daughter.

206
00:09:29,933 --> 00:09:31,539
What can I do for you?

207
00:09:31,564 --> 00:09:34,563
Well, given I saved Britain last week...

208
00:09:34,588 --> 00:09:37,068
you're welcome... did
Jonesy mention anything

209
00:09:37,093 --> 00:09:40,132
about the NSA dropping
the case against me,

210
00:09:40,157 --> 00:09:43,211
you know, that whole
election-fraud thing?

211
00:09:43,236 --> 00:09:44,734
I thought you liked it here.

212
00:09:44,759 --> 00:09:46,023
Oh, no. Don't get me wrong.

213
00:09:46,048 --> 00:09:48,445
I love it here, and I adore your outfit.

214
00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:51,031
I'm just thinking,
hypothetically, if I managed

215
00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:53,416
to track down these Russian dudes,

216
00:09:53,441 --> 00:09:56,485
surely, that would paint
me in a better light, right?

217
00:09:57,119 --> 00:09:59,334
We'll just have to wait and see.

218
00:09:59,359 --> 00:10:01,412
Any news about who might have leaked

219
00:10:01,437 --> 00:10:03,638
the NSA intel in the first place?

220
00:10:03,663 --> 00:10:05,177
No, but I've been professionally

221
00:10:05,202 --> 00:10:06,959
interrogating people since I was 9.

222
00:10:06,984 --> 00:10:10,437
Mary, I swear to God,
this is your last chance.

223
00:10:10,462 --> 00:10:12,851
Are you working for the Russians?

224
00:10:12,876 --> 00:10:14,648
- No.
- Right. That's it.

225
00:10:14,673 --> 00:10:17,152
I want to waterboard
her. Mary, get up here.

226
00:10:17,177 --> 00:10:18,782
Tuva, are you recording all this?

227
00:10:18,807 --> 00:10:20,282
Oh, fuck yeah.

228
00:10:20,307 --> 00:10:22,258
OK. No. Turn around. You got to face me.

229
00:10:22,283 --> 00:10:24,763
This isn't an enema. This is serious.

230
00:10:24,788 --> 00:10:26,572
Now lie down flat.

231
00:10:28,286 --> 00:10:30,728
No, face up. Mary, flip over.

232
00:10:30,753 --> 00:10:32,914
Joseph... you know what?
yeah, hold her down.

233
00:10:33,096 --> 00:10:35,543
Now, who has a towel?

234
00:10:37,795 --> 00:10:39,584
OK. Sorry.

235
00:10:39,609 --> 00:10:42,420
OK, so the options are lovely,
little bunny rabbit one;

236
00:10:42,445 --> 00:10:44,912
one from the local school;
or just a plain, gingham one,

237
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,249
but I don't know if it's clean.

238
00:10:46,274 --> 00:10:47,538
Give me that.

239
00:10:48,836 --> 00:10:50,851
- You see the rabbit?
- Shut up.

240
00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:52,312
OK. Mary, where's your mouth?

241
00:10:52,337 --> 00:10:54,817
- Uh, in here.
- OK. Do we have any water?

242
00:10:54,842 --> 00:10:56,391
I got some Sprite you can use.

243
00:10:56,416 --> 00:10:58,079
No. I don't think
it'll work with Sprite.

244
00:10:58,104 --> 00:10:59,977
- It blows me up.
- Shut up, Mary!

245
00:11:00,002 --> 00:11:02,439
- Is there water in the flowers?
- Do not touch the flowers!

246
00:11:02,464 --> 00:11:04,619
- My God.
- Yeah.

247
00:11:04,644 --> 00:11:05,884
So where do you want this?

248
00:11:05,909 --> 00:11:07,134
OK. You know what? Get up here.

249
00:11:07,159 --> 00:11:08,720
- Oh, my God.
- All right.

250
00:11:08,745 --> 00:11:11,317
You want to position
it over her mouth, OK?

251
00:11:11,342 --> 00:11:13,557
- Yeah.
- OK.

252
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,093
What the fuck are you doing?

253
00:11:16,118 --> 00:11:18,647
I'm so sorry, Jerry. It's just really
difficult trying to keep it upright.

254
00:11:18,672 --> 00:11:20,313
It's supposed to get on her.

255
00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:24,681
I'm being serious, Mary.
This is your last chance.

256
00:11:24,706 --> 00:11:25,830
OK.

257
00:11:25,855 --> 00:11:27,150
And I'm aiming for the mouth, yeah?

258
00:11:27,175 --> 00:11:28,408
Just pour it on the rabbit.

259
00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:29,612
Here we go.

260
00:11:30,239 --> 00:11:32,893
- What? Are you kidding?
- So sorry, Jerry.

261
00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:34,753
- I'm sorry. That's not clean.
- Goddamn it.

262
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,879
What? God... All right. You know what?

263
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:39,624
I'm gonna... OK. Are you good?

264
00:11:39,844 --> 00:11:41,067
- You're good?
- Yeah.

265
00:11:41,099 --> 00:11:42,939
Go for it. Wait. Let
me just adjust your...

266
00:11:42,964 --> 00:11:45,857
- Gah! OK! Are you kidding?
- Jerry, I'm so sorry.

267
00:11:45,882 --> 00:11:47,169
What the hell's going on?

268
00:11:47,194 --> 00:11:48,271
Oh, hey, Chris.

269
00:11:48,296 --> 00:11:51,294
I was just teaching the
gang interrogation techniques

270
00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:53,052
in case we find a mole.

271
00:11:53,077 --> 00:11:55,108
But Mary is a mole.

272
00:11:55,558 --> 00:11:57,670
- What?
- Sorry.

273
00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:03,836
OK. I'm sure you've all
got lots of questions.

274
00:12:03,861 --> 00:12:05,626
Chris, you got to let me handle this.

275
00:12:05,651 --> 00:12:07,295
Absolutely not. Sit down.

276
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,600
I just need you all
to listen. It's true.

277
00:12:09,639 --> 00:12:11,399
For a few weeks now,
Mary's position here

278
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,680
has been compromised...

279
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,811
Son of a bitch! Aah!

280
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:19,615
But only because her
mother has been captured

281
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,115
by the Russian mob responsible
for last week's attack

282
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:24,958
and who have been blackmailing
Mary for inside intel.

283
00:12:24,983 --> 00:12:26,900
Well, I'm very sorry to hear that.

284
00:12:26,925 --> 00:12:29,116
I thought your mom passed away.

285
00:12:29,141 --> 00:12:30,742
Oh, so did I.

286
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:38,960
Hello?

287
00:12:38,999 --> 00:12:41,966
I'm ever so sorry. Your mother's, um...

288
00:12:42,864 --> 00:12:44,075
passed away.

289
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,160
So your mom's still alive?

290
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,529
Yes, but now they keep threatening

291
00:12:50,554 --> 00:12:52,849
to send one of her
fingers through the post.

292
00:12:52,874 --> 00:12:54,294
Why? What's wrong with her fingers?

293
00:12:54,319 --> 00:12:55,786
Fortunately...

294
00:12:58,756 --> 00:13:02,199
Fortunately, Mary had the
foresight to buy us some time

295
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,732
by sending the Russians
a lot of false leads.

296
00:13:04,757 --> 00:13:07,174
So Mary's now a double agent?

297
00:13:07,199 --> 00:13:08,760
Technically, she's a triple agent.

298
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,599
That's right, so we think
she's working for us.

299
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,119
The Russian thinks
she's working for them,

300
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,056
but really, she's
working for someone else.

301
00:13:14,081 --> 00:13:17,119
- No. She's just working for us.
- Right. Good.

302
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:18,839
How's that different from
that she was doing before?

303
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,079
Because the Russians believe

304
00:13:20,119 --> 00:13:21,127
she's now working for them.

305
00:13:21,152 --> 00:13:22,306
That's just two things, isn't it?

306
00:13:22,331 --> 00:13:23,876
Listen. All you need to know

307
00:13:23,901 --> 00:13:26,415
is that we are keeping
Mary's cover a secret

308
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:30,180
so that we can continue to
feed the Russians false intel

309
00:13:30,205 --> 00:13:31,993
and, in doing so, hopefully,

310
00:13:32,018 --> 00:13:34,032
prevent a future Eternal Blue attack.

311
00:13:34,057 --> 00:13:36,196
Plus, I must admit, it's quite nice

312
00:13:36,221 --> 00:13:38,760
for me and Quentin to have
a bit of space from Mum, too.

313
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,400
Oh, so you and Quentin still...

314
00:13:40,425 --> 00:13:42,627
Yes, every night.

315
00:13:42,652 --> 00:13:44,571
Yeah, baby. What stage you at?

316
00:13:44,596 --> 00:13:45,753
- Please don't...
- 63.

317
00:13:45,778 --> 00:13:47,003
Answer that.

318
00:13:48,372 --> 00:13:49,472
Is that...

319
00:13:53,842 --> 00:13:55,374
- Forward.
- Aagh!

320
00:13:56,163 --> 00:13:57,389
- Uh!
- Ugh! Die!

321
00:13:57,414 --> 00:14:00,135
- Nice shot, soldier.
- Targets are coming.

322
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,895
- Cover me. Hah!
- Take that.

323
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,239
- Get down.
- Take cover. Reloading.

324
00:14:06,604 --> 00:14:08,199
You're fucking kidding me.

325
00:14:08,986 --> 00:14:10,280
- Ugh...
- Game over.

326
00:14:10,305 --> 00:14:11,305
Fuck.

327
00:14:12,604 --> 00:14:15,484
- Tuva, I just want to say...
- They weren't from me.

328
00:14:15,509 --> 00:14:16,728
No. Sure.

329
00:14:16,753 --> 00:14:19,205
I'm just double-checking with
everyone I've ever, you know...

330
00:14:19,230 --> 00:14:20,587
Disappointed?

331
00:14:20,856 --> 00:14:23,469
So do you get paid more for
being a triple agent, then?

332
00:14:23,494 --> 00:14:26,766
No, but I am trying to
negotiate more holiday.

333
00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:29,055
Oh, right, and the Russians
are all right with that?

334
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,993
No. They were very angry.

335
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,839
You know I had a friend who started off

336
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:37,012
as a triple agent but then went
on to become an octuple agent

337
00:14:37,037 --> 00:14:38,520
almost overnight.

338
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,262
So who did that mean they
were working for in the end?

339
00:14:41,287 --> 00:14:44,495
Well, they thought that we thought

340
00:14:44,702 --> 00:14:49,741
that they thought that we
thought that they thought

341
00:14:50,046 --> 00:14:53,085
that... that... that we... that...

342
00:14:53,946 --> 00:14:55,835
You know, I got to get
some water for these.

343
00:15:02,658 --> 00:15:04,310
Hey, how's it going?

344
00:15:04,335 --> 00:15:06,856
So do you want to go out for
a drink tonight, then, or what?

345
00:15:07,755 --> 00:15:11,809
I mean, that's not why I came
to see you, but, yeah, I'm down.

346
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,005
I'll call you back.

347
00:15:15,309 --> 00:15:19,543
Jerry Bernstein, NSA. It's Honey, right?

348
00:15:21,058 --> 00:15:24,783
So I just wanted to warn you
about this guy I'm working with.

349
00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:27,299
You might have seen
him scampering around.

350
00:15:27,324 --> 00:15:30,550
He's a tiny, little guy,
kind of like a Cinnamon Santa,

351
00:15:30,575 --> 00:15:33,878
I mean in terms of disposition, not...

352
00:15:35,097 --> 00:15:38,011
Anyway, I was just
wondering how this works.

353
00:15:38,036 --> 00:15:41,396
If he came to you with
a sample of handwriting,

354
00:15:41,421 --> 00:15:44,294
how quickly would you be able
to work out that it was mine?

355
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:45,902
So you're telling me it's yours.

356
00:15:45,927 --> 00:15:49,276
No. No. I was just
saying that as an example.

357
00:15:49,301 --> 00:15:51,527
Like, would it help if I provided you

358
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,839
with a sample of my handwriting
first just to rule me out?

359
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,119
Not if I already know it's yours.

360
00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:01,793
Now... sure, but ignoring that...

361
00:16:01,818 --> 00:16:05,239
I wish I'd never said it...
how can I help you avoid

362
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,599
coming up with a false conclusion?

363
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,880
I'd need to know a bit
more info on your background

364
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,771
and see a sample of your handwriting.

365
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:15,195
Absolutely. That's what I thought.

366
00:16:31,371 --> 00:16:34,246
Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late.
Couldn't fit in the elevator.

367
00:16:35,379 --> 00:16:39,682
Jerry, just wanted to congratulate you
on the Hinkley Point success last week.

368
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,343
- Great work.
- Thanks, Rupert.

369
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,609
I can't believe we've
never met in the flesh.

370
00:16:43,634 --> 00:16:45,603
Well, I have been in
theater these past few weeks.

371
00:16:45,628 --> 00:16:47,064
Oh, great. What show?

372
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:50,294
No. I was in a pony-riding accident.

373
00:16:50,319 --> 00:16:53,063
Well, either way, I'm
sure it was fantastic.

374
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,015
Who's the lucky lady or fella?

375
00:16:57,501 --> 00:16:59,960
Yeah, right. Right.

376
00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:02,640
I mean... I mean,
right. Right. Right on.

377
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,039
I'm actually in touch
with thousands of women,

378
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,014
so... who knows? it could
be from any or all of them.

379
00:17:08,039 --> 00:17:10,080
Just like a tomb of the unknown soldier.

380
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:11,959
I don't really understand the reference,

381
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:13,383
but yes, absolutely.

382
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:14,508
Thank you.

383
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,086
Um, hi. Jerry, do you
mind if I have a quick...

384
00:17:17,111 --> 00:17:18,813
We're busy. What is it?

385
00:17:21,469 --> 00:17:24,120
Oh, you know, it's fine.
I didn't know that you...

386
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,279
Don't be silly. We're all equals here.

387
00:17:26,304 --> 00:17:28,008
- You know, I really should...
- Come on.

388
00:17:28,033 --> 00:17:30,214
- Only if you're sure.
- Of course.

389
00:17:30,239 --> 00:17:31,789
We even get paid the same.

390
00:17:31,814 --> 00:17:35,055
- Seriously?
- No. I earn a lot more.

391
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,360
What do you want?

392
00:17:36,385 --> 00:17:38,705
Oh, um...

393
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,641
What do I want?

394
00:17:42,237 --> 00:17:43,438
Well, I...

395
00:17:45,282 --> 00:17:48,125
I had some handwriting analysis done

396
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,989
on the Valentine's Day
card that I received.

397
00:17:52,014 --> 00:17:52,850
What?

398
00:17:52,875 --> 00:17:54,959
Sorry. Let me get this straight.

399
00:17:54,999 --> 00:17:58,959
You've been using GCHQ resources
funded by the UK taxpayer

400
00:17:58,999 --> 00:18:01,600
to find out who sent you
a Valentine's Day card?

401
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,279
In my defense, that is exactly why

402
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,519
I didn't want to say
it in front of you all.

403
00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:06,451
And?

404
00:18:08,598 --> 00:18:09,799
Oh. Well...

405
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,880
No. That's not important.

406
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,638
Shall we continue with
our high-profile meeting?

407
00:18:14,663 --> 00:18:16,400
Hang on. You were saying?

408
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,080
Well, actually, it
turned out that it's...

409
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,880
- D'oh! Aagh!
- Oh, my God, what's wrong?

410
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,799
- Oww...
- Jerry, what's wrong?

411
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:22,896
- Ooh...
- What's wrong?

412
00:18:22,921 --> 00:18:25,935
Joseph, could you go...
could you go... Could you go?

413
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,359
Oh, for heaven's sake, Jerry.

414
00:18:27,384 --> 00:18:29,904
OK. Look. I just did it to cheer him up.

415
00:18:29,929 --> 00:18:32,202
- It doesn't mean anything.
- What do you mean?

416
00:18:32,227 --> 00:18:34,155
- So it was from you.
- Why?

417
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,759
- They used to be married.
- Oh.

418
00:18:35,799 --> 00:18:38,111
Isn't that what the
handwriting analysis showed?

419
00:18:38,136 --> 00:18:40,237
No. I was about to say the
results were inconclusive.

420
00:18:41,605 --> 00:18:44,055
Oh, sorry. No. That's what I meant.

421
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,199
I mean, could've been
from anyone. Who...

422
00:18:46,239 --> 00:18:49,120
It could've been Chris,
could've been Rupert.

423
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,026
Well, I've never met him before, but...

424
00:18:52,534 --> 00:18:54,375
You swore on my life
that it wasn't from you.

425
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,682
Eh, don't worry about it, buddy.

426
00:18:55,707 --> 00:18:57,236
It doesn't mean you're
actually gonna die.

427
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,416
- I'm sorry about this.
- No. This is fun.

428
00:18:59,467 --> 00:19:00,826
I thought you'd be pleased.

429
00:19:00,851 --> 00:19:01,932
Yeah, only because you told me

430
00:19:01,957 --> 00:19:03,087
it definitely wasn't from you.

431
00:19:03,112 --> 00:19:04,455
Oh, well, thank you very much.

432
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,541
What else was I meant to believe, Jerry?

433
00:19:05,566 --> 00:19:07,683
I don't know, maybe that
your mother sent it out of sympathy.

434
00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:08,917
Well, she died 20 years ago.

435
00:19:08,942 --> 00:19:10,371
Maybe she postdated it. Look.

436
00:19:10,396 --> 00:19:11,667
I'll make it up to you, OK?

437
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,644
I'll take you out to
dinner, somewhere real fancy.

438
00:19:13,669 --> 00:19:15,250
You'll take me out for
dinner on Valentine's Day?

439
00:19:15,275 --> 00:19:16,421
Well, no, obviously not tonight.

440
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,164
- I've got plans.
- I don't.

441
00:19:20,663 --> 00:19:22,023
But you'll take me out
at some point, right?

442
00:19:22,048 --> 00:19:25,087
Yes, but not because I sent
you a Valentine's Day card.

443
00:19:25,112 --> 00:19:26,344
But you did send me a
Valentine's Day card.

444
00:19:26,377 --> 00:19:28,098
Yeah, because I wanted
you to feel special.

445
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,641
I'll feel special when
you take me out for dinner.

446
00:19:29,666 --> 00:19:31,337
Why don't you take him out now?

447
00:19:31,814 --> 00:19:33,337
This meeting is over.

448
00:19:33,835 --> 00:19:35,234
Mm.

449
00:19:35,501 --> 00:19:37,594
Have you been wearing
that all this time?

450
00:19:45,099 --> 00:19:47,302
- Good night, Jacinda.
- Good night.

451
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,857
- Joseph...
- Yes?

452
00:19:50,882 --> 00:19:52,402
It pains me to have to say this,

453
00:19:52,427 --> 00:19:55,075
but I'm seriously starting
to call into question

454
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:57,320
your position here at GCHQ.

455
00:19:58,022 --> 00:19:59,325
Do you understand?

456
00:19:59,350 --> 00:20:01,519
Yes. Yeah, absolutely, and listen.

457
00:20:01,559 --> 00:20:03,440
I just wanted to let
you know I'm well aware

458
00:20:03,479 --> 00:20:06,039
that we keep having these kind
of conversations every week now,

459
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,240
but I promise you,
it won't happen again.

460
00:20:08,265 --> 00:20:09,679
It better not.

461
00:20:10,199 --> 00:20:13,279
At least Valentine's
Day is only once a year.

462
00:20:13,398 --> 00:20:15,467
This is your final warning.

463
00:20:15,492 --> 00:20:17,288
- Do you hear?
- Yeah.

464
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,186
Handwriting analysis.

465
00:20:20,647 --> 00:20:23,873
I mean, who else did
you think it was from?

466
00:20:25,145 --> 00:20:26,568
Princess Jasmine.

467
00:20:34,999 --> 00:20:36,920
Hmm.

468
00:20:41,310 --> 00:20:43,480
- Hi, Ma.
- Hi, sweetie.

469
00:20:43,505 --> 00:20:46,294
- Happy Valentine's Day.
- You, too.

470
00:20:46,707 --> 00:20:48,240
Did you get my flowers?

471
00:20:48,326 --> 00:20:55,326
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