We have Jerry Bernstein from the NSA arriving shortly.
So great to finally meet you.
- What was your name again? - Joseph Harries.
Right. John, do you mind me asking,
do you have dwarfism in your family?
Get me a full background check
on Jerry Bernstein. I need to see his file.
You know someone's actually trying to access
your file right now.
Were you disgraced at the NSA
and forced to take the position here?
No.
Motherf... ohh! You have no idea how lucky you are to have me.
This is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I think we can learn a lot from each other,
especially from me.
Did you vote for Brexit?
I don't know. Who is that?
You want to explain to everyone
how you slept with my wife?
Is that why you think I'm here?
The NSA have called your case back into review.
I'm here to take you home.
What it looks like is you're staging a wedding
in order to avoid immediate extradition
to the United States, where you're highly likely
to face charges of treason.
It seems like there are now concerns
there may be a mole here at GCHQ.
The f... Hey!
_
- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
System overload. System overload.
System overload. System overload
System overload.
No. Understood.
You, too.
Fucking hell.
Have Little Mix split up? Mum?
I can't remember the exact numbers,
but there must have been at least
20, maybe 30 in wheelchairs...
- Yeah. - And there were 100 dead.
Was this the massacre in Kuala Lumpur?
No. This was my school reunion.
All of you, boardroom, now.
The statistics speak for themselves.
Nearly all terrorists reoffend.
Suicide bombers rarely reoffend.
Yeah, but the point is,
who here can name me a single white terrorist?
The Unabomber.
Ooh, I didn't know he was single.
Yeah.
He even got his own Netflix show.
OK, I'll keep things brief and to the point.
As of one minute ago, we currently have a
code red situation here at GCHQ.
Oh, no. The toilet's not working again?
A presently unknown terrorist group
has harnessed cyberweapon Eternal Blue
and is using it to bring down
Hinkley Point nuclear site.
Oh, shitting tits.
Quite. In half an hour,
we could be looking at another Chernobyl.
I just couldn't get through the first series, to be honest.
I wouldn't normally say this out loud,
but given the circumstances, do you mind shutting the fuck up?
- Sure. - What's Eternal Blue?
- Jerry? - Right. So, for those of you
who don't know, Eternal Blue is a cyberweapon
designed by the NSA
that allows malware to spread quicker.
I headed up the team that developed it.
Of course, the NSA still deny the weapon even exists.
Right. May have developed it.
How long do we have?
An irreversible and catastrophic meltdown
could begin in as little as 28 minutes.
I'm not an expert on all this and I'm
well aware that you told me to
shut the fuck up earlier, but
have they tried switching it off and on again?
A nuclear reactor?
- Yeah. - No.
All we can do now
is put obstacles in place
to try to slow the system failure.
Hang on. Wait a second.
OK, so, during the test phase of Eternal Blue,
we built in a manual override,
a coded way that would allow us to
regain full and complete control
should the weapon ever fall into the wrong hands.
How are you only remembering this now?
I don't know. Sometimes, my brain's extraordinary like that.
Get to the point.
The point is, it's temperamental.
One wrong move and it can only make things worse.
Can you or can you not override Eternal Blue?
I can, but it's password-protected.
- What's the password? - That is a great question.
I think it's something sweet, like, um,
"donut" or... or "Ding-Dong."
Jesus.
Hey, give me a break.
It was more than 5 years ago.
Do you remember everything you were doing in 2016?
Well, if I wasn't here,
I was probably campaigning for Brexit.
Look, if you could just give me one hour,
I'm sure I could remember the password.
In one hour, half of the southwest of England
will either be on fire or have cancer.
I had a friend who died like that.
"Cheesecake." "Rum baba"?
No. It is too risky.
The primary objective has to be to slow the system failure
at Hinkley Point. Stick to the protocol.
Yeah, but if I could just remember the password...
And run the risk of destabilizing
the 4 remaining reactors when you get it wrong? No thanks.
Look, Chrissy, you and I were always gonna
have a different approach, right?
- We're like the Williams sisters. - Yeah.
Yes, but when the Williams sisters play tennis,
half a million lives aren't at stake.
I don't know. When was the last time you saw them play?
Tuva, you're on rootkit analysis.
Mary, you're on the ciphertext.
The rest of you, you know the drill.
Wait. Is this a drill?
Don't even start.
That's an order. We have 25 minutes.
Spotted dick?
No, that cleared up.
System overload. System overload.
System overload.
Did I miss any call... Evelyn!
Did I miss any calls?
Uh, yeah? I can't remember her name.
I think she said she was a secretary or something.
The secretary of state?
That was it. She said we needed to prepare
two versions of the press release, just in case.
- Mother of God. - How bad is it?
This could result in the biggest loss of
civilian life on U.K. soil since World War II.
Maybe we should get a takeaway tonight.
Start typing.
At 10:15 this morning, we intercepted
a potential cyber threat to the digital system
in place at Hinkley Point.
No. It's just saying, "File not found."
Joseph, get in here.
Yeah, two seconds, Jerry.
How are you getting on?
- It's really bad. - Oh, no.
Everywhere's booked up.
- What do you mean? - Trying to get a table
for me and my dad at Lumière's this weekend,
but there's literally nothing.
Is that all you've done?
Oh, no, no, no. I tried Paparrito's,
Grill 49, and the Coconut Tree, but it's the same everywhere.
- Joseph! - Yes, Jerry.
Rootkit analysis on the second core reactor.
Oh, it's endless, isn't it?
- Sorry. Here I am. - OK.
I need your help here. If I were to say
"2016" to you, what is the first thing
that comes to mind?
Uh, Alan Rickman's death.
I have no idea who that is.
He was the guy behind the Nakatomi Plaza attack in 1988.
OK, look, I just need a way
of trying to remember what password
I might have chosen back then.
It might sound crazy, but have you tried
aggressive hypnotherapy?
No, that's too long. It would have been
a maximum of 10 characters.
OK, you know what? Let's just quickly,
just throw some ideas at me.
See if it triggers anything.
Um, were there any special occasions that year?
Um, no. Oh, actually, there was my 50th,
and as a gift to Melissa, got Botox.
- For you? - No, for her.
- Oh. Was it nice? - Not really.
It was like kissing a hemorrhoid.
What about a pet name?
You know what? Back then,
we actually had several.
- Um, there was Flaps... - Yeah.
- Mr. Mistoffelees... - Yeah.
Whiskers.
And these are for pets?
No, those were for Melissa.
Two seconds. Hey.
Are you kidding?
How's Bude?
Yeah? What did you bring in for lunch?
No, I just got in a couple of Scotch pancakes,
a small carton of orange juice, and some Pom-Bears,
but I'll probably just have them as a snack.
Yeah. Oh, let me just go somewhere a tiny bit quieter.
It's so nice to hear from you again.
Very quick question.
Obviously if age wasn't an issue,
have you ever fancied?
Oh, gosh, no.
I don't think that's allowed.
What... oh, no.
Mary. If I were to say "2016" to you,
what is the first thing that springs to mind?
Alan Rickman's death?
I gotta Google that guy.
20 minutes!
- Where was I? - Including cardiovascular-related illness
and birth defects. End of press release.
Please tell me something positive.
My tomato plant's doing well.
I meant about the current crisis.
At... at least it's Friday.
Jesus, how did we miss this?
Well, the thing is, there are just
so many terrorists these days.
I mean, I remember when there were just 3.
What's the ciphertext showing?
Sadly, it's looking like
the second core reactor may be compromised, too.
I thought we were meant to be
buying ourselves some time.
Who's handling the rootkit analysis?
- Who's handling the... - I gave it to Joseph.
Fucking hell. Where is he? Jerry?
- Is it a drill? - Shut up. Where's Joseph?
I don't know. He took a call. Have you tried the roof?
We're not allowed on the roof.
I know, but I think he found a hole.
Why the hell aren't you at your desk?
Sorry, I keep getting the runs every time I speak.
Board room. Now.
Did you remember the password?
- I did, actually. - Oh, good. What...
Yeah, it's g-u-l-l-i-b-l-e.
- "Gullible." - Uh-huh.
Oh, I see what you've done there.
Don't bother sitting down. Mary,
tell everyone what you've just told me.
My tomato plant is doing...
About the second core reactor.
Gosh. Sorry. So, it's looking like
the second core will be affected as well.
What? Why wasn't this picked up
- on the rootkit analysis? - Joseph?
No, I agree with Jerry.
No. Where is it?
- Um... - Seriously, Chris,
if I were to say "2016," Alan Rickman aside,
- what is the first... - No.
Jerry's office.
I left it in Jerry's office.
- Do you want me to go get it? - No.
you've caused enough damage today as it is.
- I haven't done anything. - Exactly.
Too little, too late.
What if we launch our own
cyber attack on Hinkley Point?
- What do you mean? - If we can overload
their own system, it might slow everything down,
- even Eternal Blue. - Good idea.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You want to launch
a second cyber attack on the same nuclear site?
What if you're successful?
Maybe Joseph can give you a hand.
- That'll help. - That a compliment?
- What do you think? - No.
You have 15 minutes. Go.
The team at Hinkley Point just called to say that
the second blast might take out GCHQ Bude.
Do you want me to WhatsApp someone?
No. Any outside communication
at this point would go against protocol
and would only cause mass panic.
We keep this to ourselves. Do you understand?
God help us all.
Charlotte.
Might notice something's up
in the next 15 minutes anyway. Mum?
Hey, Charlotte, it's Joseph.
Hey, Charlotte, it's me. Really bad news.
Pick up the... pick up the phone.
Charlotte, it's Joseph. I don't know if you got
my previous message, but you don't fancy just jumping in a car
and traveling, like, 300, 400 miles northeast?
And if you have any, like,
factor uh, 50-something sun cream, you know, 50+.
If you happen to hear a loud bang...
- Joseph! - Yeah.
Oh, Jerry.
Oh, you look like shit.
No. I just downed the Pom-Bears too quickly.
- It's fine. - Calm down.
I secretly checked out the new blast radius
and the worst we'll feel is a little warmth.
Yeah? What about the staff at GCHQ Bude?
I mean, between us, how important
is the work they do there, really?
It's where Charlotte works.
Right.
Uh, you never met in person, though, right?
- So? - So, you're not gonna notice
if she looks a little different.
- Come on. - Oh, my...
I was doing some research on that
whole regressive hypnotherapy thing.
How much do you know about it?
Only those two words, really.
OK, well, I think it could really
- help me remember the password. - OK.
- OK, tell me to relax. - Relax.
No, no, you gotta whisper it to me.
- Relax. - OK.
That just sounds like you're about to violate me.
- Yeah. - OK, um,
pretend it's 2016. Take me back.
You sure this is gonna work, Jerry?
Of course not, but here, take my hand.
Take... take it. OK.
- Pretend to be Melissa. - Why?
How good is your American accent?
Really not very good, man.
OK. Um, let's work on the other senses.
Um... ask me what I can smell.
- In 2016? - Mm-hmm.
Uh... oh. Onions.
Really?
- I'm at a party. - Right.
Oh, oh, it's hot. My... my arm hurts.
You've been breakdancing again?
No, no, I'm... I'm at a grill.
I... oh. Oh, I'm flipping burgers.
Oh, this is what you used to do for a living.
No. No. Um, it's my backyard.
It's a barbecue.
OK, so, where's Melissa? What am I doing?
Oh, she's... she's walking towards me.
It looks like she's been crying.
Maybe it's the onions.
What's up, sweetie? What's wrong?
Is it the Botox?
What's up, sweetie? Is it the...
Aah! Don't know what to say!
Come on. As Melissa.
I don't know what to say.
Yes, you do, sweetie. You could tell me.
I can't. I can't think of anything.
Yes, you're a good thinker, Melissa.
I'm not a good thinker, Jerry.
... yell it at me. You're always... always yelling.
Why do you always play these games, Jerry?
Me? I'm not the one who plays games, Melissa.
I'm here manning the grill,
and what are you doing?
Drinking like a fish.
Where's the potato salad, anyway, huh?
Did you even...
Oh, my God. I just remembered.
No kidding. What is it?
It's in a notebook taped to the back of our refrigerator.
Ohh.
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
So, where's the refrigerator?
It's in the States.
I don't think we can get there in time.
No, we have to call Melissa.
What's going on?
Tuva, I need you to open a back door on 192.74.
Do you have the password?
Almost. Close the blinds.
- The blinds. - Good, good, good, good.
Don't want Chris to see.
What if you were to just get there?
No, no. Eternal Blue is rigged.
If we don't get it right the first time, we're screwed.
It's like a nose job, from... from what I hear.
OK, I've opened the back door to Eternal Blue.
First you need to input an authorization key.
OK. Don't look.
Oh. Nice to see you again,
you little piece of shit.
You talking to me?
Joseph, go ahead and call Melissa.
I'm blocking the Caller I.D., so,
all you need to do is hit "dial."
What time is it over there?
I have no idea. It keeps changing.
You want me to do the accent again?
Absolutely not.
- Who is this? - Shit.
- Is that Melissa? - No, it's fucking Clint.
Why did you put her on video?
I don't know. I just think I'm having
- one of those days. - Hello?
Tell him to put Melissa on.
- Oh, hi, Clint. - No, don't say his name.
Sorry, that was a guess. Could you put Melissa on, please?
She's just in the bathroom.
Can she call you back? Who is this?
Tell him it's urgent.
There's something wrong with your video.
How long does she usually take, Clint?
Normally, she's super fast.
Hang on. I think she just got out.
See?
Is there, like, a disguise I could wear
- just to cover... - Mary, give him your wig.
- It's not a wig. - Honey, some British guy's calling you.
I just need another minute.
Sorry, can we just...
can we just do this another time?
Clint.
Jerry.
- Clint. - Jerry.
Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint, bathrobe Clint!
What the fuck do you want?
Melissa.
Yeah, well, too bad.
She chose me.
Just put her on the phone.
It's a national emergency.
- Oh, my God. - See? Melissa!
Melissa! I need you to do something for me!
Jesus. Are you fucking kidding me?
Well, sorry, buddy.
Someone's gotta be the hero.
Let me see it again.
- See... - Is there definitely a line?
Fuck! Right there. It's a blue line.
I love you so much.
I love you, too. Oh, my God.
We're gonna have a baby.
What the fuck's going on?
- No, no, no. - We're out of time.
- Shut it down. - No, Jerry, the password.
Shut it down.
Jerry? Is... is that you?
Yeah.
Congratulations.
No, Jerr...
It's CLEMENTINE.
The password is CLEMENTINE, all caps.
Are you sure?
100%.
Go!
It was what we were gonna call our daughter,
but we miscarried, so...
Ahh.
Or I miscarried I think is technically
what you're meant to say nowadays. I...
Well, I didn't know that about you. I...
Oh, it's fine. It's fine, you know?
Happens all the time.
I mean, in general, not just to me, you know?
I'm not running around town, doling out miscarriages or...
Heh.
It's too bad. I was really looking forward to being a dad.
Even though it was a girl.
Ohh!
System normalized. System normalized.
Well, if it's any consolation,
she does make a lovely password.
Thanks, buddy.
I do believe congratulations are in order.
Thanks even.
You're welcome.
Call Hinkley Point with the good news
and destroy the other press release.
Sure.
Which one was that again?
All right.
Any idea how a weapon designed by the NSA
capable of causing such destruction
on British soil could fall into the wrong hands?
Floppy disk?
All I'm saying is
it sounds as though there might be a leak
that needs plugging on both sides of the Atlantic.
What?
You still think there might be a mole working here?
Thing about is moles is you just have to check
them regularly in case they change shape,
but if they're hairy, that's actually a good sign.
Sorry. I zoned out for a second. What were you just saying?
So where are we going? We got to do something to celebrate.
Hey. Should we hit a nightclub?
For lunch?
What do you want most?
Ooh. What about Hooters?
- Yeah. - Ooh. I love their wings.
Yeah. Well, either way, someone's gonna
have to carry me home tonight,
you know I what I mean?
- Sorry. - Yeah. Mine usually works.
All right. Let me.
- Hey. - There you go.
Ha ha ha!
Motherf...
No! No! No, no, no!
Goddamn it! Come on, man!
No, no, no, no!
This is bullshit!
- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -