1
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,369
Okay, so, I know this is my first time

2
00:00:05,371 --> 00:00:06,371
doing therapy in decades,

3
00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:07,505
and, look, I'm nervous,

4
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,841
but, uh, there's a strong aroma...

5
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,377
Eh, am I recalling a repressed memory?

6
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,312
That's resignation and cautious hope.

7
00:00:14,374 --> 00:00:15,507
Essential oils.

8
00:00:15,532 --> 00:00:17,249
I have a diffuser.

9
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,183
So, Roberta Songthrush...

10
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:20,852
- It's Bertie.
- Bertie.

11
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,254
You're 31, you work

12
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,455
at a magazine publisher

13
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:25,215
but run a baking business
out of your apartment.

14
00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,726
You feel guilty for not
composting your kitchen scraps.

15
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,994
You want therapy because you
suffer severe panic attacks

16
00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:32,634
brought on by crippling anxiety
and lingering trauma.

17
00:00:32,659 --> 00:00:35,133
Standard stuff. Tell me about
the people closest to you.

18
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,977
Well, Tuca's my best friend.

19
00:00:37,002 --> 00:00:38,670
We hang out constantly.

20
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,405
She knows all three
of my secrets.

21
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,274
She's my socialist
elected president.

22
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,095
We're just like this, you know?

23
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,055
Tuca. Got it. Anyone else?

24
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,545
Hmm. Oh, yeah.

25
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,614
Oh, my boyfriend
of five years. Speckle.

26
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,032
We live together.

27
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:54,064
It's clear that Tuca
is a toxic element in your life

28
00:00:54,089 --> 00:00:55,288
and you need to cut her out.

29
00:00:55,313 --> 00:00:57,198
Plus, your names sound wrong
together.

30
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,389
Tuca and Bertie.
Tuca and Bertie.

31
00:00:59,414 --> 00:01:00,692
Bertie and Tuca?

32
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,226
No, that doesn't work either.

33
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,208
Tuca and...

34
00:01:03,233 --> 00:01:04,562
? Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie ?

35
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:05,830
? Bertie & Tuca
and Tuca & Bertie ?

36
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,566
? Tuca & Bertie ?

37
00:01:09,623 --> 00:01:11,023
- ? Tuca ?
- ? Bertie ?

38
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,670
Sync & corrections by dwigt
Addic7ed.com

39
00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,900
You want me to cut Tuca?

40
00:01:20,925 --> 00:01:22,429
Out of your life, yes.

41
00:01:22,454 --> 00:01:23,848
And ditch the boyfriend, too.

42
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,273
I suggest a full relationship detox.

43
00:01:26,298 --> 00:01:28,032
That's terrible advice!

44
00:01:28,057 --> 00:01:29,698
What kind of therapist are you?

45
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,657
I specialize in severing attachments.

46
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,702
Didn't your co-worker Claudette
tell you

47
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,126
when she gave you the referral?

48
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,730
Uh, Claudette didn't

49
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,332
and, now that I'm thinking about it,

50
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,734
hasn't otherwise spoken to me
in three years.

51
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:45,037
Mm-hmm. We felt your energy
was negative to her growth.

52
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,339
I'm gonna take off.

53
00:01:47,712 --> 00:01:49,073
Aah! That's the spirit!

54
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:51,609
Cut me out of your life!
Start fresh!

55
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:52,777
What a loon!

56
00:01:52,802 --> 00:01:54,523
Right? I mean, who knew

57
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,570
finding a good therapist
would be this hard?

58
00:01:56,595 --> 00:01:58,182
What do you need a therapist for?

59
00:01:58,207 --> 00:01:59,404
Just do what I do.

60
00:01:59,429 --> 00:02:01,896
Spew all those bad feelings
into a cup,

61
00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:04,143
Turn it over,
and push it behind the toilet.

62
00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,147
_

63
00:02:05,171 --> 00:02:06,167
_

64
00:02:06,191 --> 00:02:07,258
_

65
00:02:07,282 --> 00:02:08,373
_

66
00:02:08,857 --> 00:02:10,246
_

67
00:02:10,744 --> 00:02:12,053
I feel great!

68
00:02:12,078 --> 00:02:13,765
I need a professional, Tuca.

69
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,234
You know, if your car's broken,
you go to a mechanic.

70
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:17,569
Well, my brains are broken.

71
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:18,853
Speckle planned this nice

72
00:02:18,878 --> 00:02:20,572
anniversary dinner tomorrow night

73
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,040
and it should be no big deal,

74
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:25,243
but even that's giving me
gut cramps and beak sweats!

75
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,766
I just need to see a good shrink

76
00:02:26,791 --> 00:02:28,780
for like a session or two, then boom!

77
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,648
No more panic attacks! Easy!

78
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,886
Aw, I thought I was your
panic mechanic!

79
00:02:32,911 --> 00:02:34,781
I can't always rely on you.

80
00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:37,055
Plus, you're busy going
on all your dates!

81
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,656
Online dating sucks.

82
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,472
I can't encapsulate my raw,

83
00:02:40,497 --> 00:02:42,708
enigmatic allure in a profile.

84
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,302
I don't need more love!

85
00:02:46,327 --> 00:02:48,041
My heart is like a training bra.

86
00:02:48,066 --> 00:02:50,000
You can only fit
so much titty in there.

87
00:02:50,025 --> 00:02:51,691
I already love you so much,

88
00:02:51,716 --> 00:02:53,819
I don't have space in my heart
for anyone else.

89
00:02:53,844 --> 00:02:56,117
You're still wearing training bras?

90
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:57,209
I'm still learning!

91
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,699
I'm no Dr. Esther Emu

92
00:02:58,724 --> 00:03:02,191
but sounds like you're denying
your emotional needs.

93
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:03,481
Dr. Esther Emu?

94
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:06,057
Is that that stupid podcaster
you're stupid for?

95
00:03:06,082 --> 00:03:08,998
And when he calls you
a little baby bird-child,

96
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,154
how do you feel?

97
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:13,091
Like a little baby bird-child.

98
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,133
Aw, shit, Bertie!
We're in an intersection!

99
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,898
I'd see her,
but she's all booked up.

100
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,365
Now how am I supposed to know

101
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,435
which of these other shrinks
are any good?

102
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,220
Same deal with these dating sites.

103
00:03:25,245 --> 00:03:27,427
These people either look
too outdoorsy,

104
00:03:27,452 --> 00:03:29,514
Or way too indoorsy.

105
00:03:29,539 --> 00:03:32,140
I wish I could date
a group of people all at once

106
00:03:32,165 --> 00:03:35,022
and eliminate them one by one...

107
00:03:36,188 --> 00:03:37,649
Like a reality show.

108
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,119
Yeah, I wish I could date
a bunch of therapists

109
00:03:40,144 --> 00:03:41,519
and then just choose one.

110
00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:42,787
Oh, you can.

111
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,270
You're free to see as many
therapists as you'd like.

112
00:03:45,295 --> 00:03:47,564
Be a cognitive behavioral slut!

113
00:03:47,589 --> 00:03:49,121
Oh, don't you want me
to choose you?

114
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,080
I could be the best therapist
in the world

115
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:53,709
and still not be right for you.

116
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,468
So what's making you anxious
lately?

117
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,900
Oh, you know,
just the usual stuff.

118
00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:01,005
Also, Speckle and I

119
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,007
are celebrating our anniversary
tomorrow night.

120
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,338
That seems like something
you could keep low key.

121
00:04:05,363 --> 00:04:06,278
Too late.

122
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:08,513
Uh, Bertie.

123
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,749
I got us a spot at Two Twigs.

124
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,567
The hippest new restaurant
in Bird Town.

125
00:04:13,592 --> 00:04:15,743
I called every day for a month
and it finally worked,

126
00:04:15,768 --> 00:04:18,556
when I abbreviated reservation
to res.

127
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,758
Then they knew I was cool.

128
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,560
Uh, that sounds intimidating.

129
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:24,096
Yup! I can't wait!

130
00:04:24,822 --> 00:04:27,143
I'd be so devastated
if anything happened

131
00:04:27,168 --> 00:04:29,093
to keep this night
from being perfect!

132
00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:34,172
Look, I know it's silly,
but... I can't stop worrying

133
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:37,435
I'm gonna have a panic attack
and ruin our anniversary.

134
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:39,577
So what normally happens
when you panic?

135
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,047
Well, Speckle and Tuca help me.

136
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,580
Which is terrible.

137
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:43,982
I'm such a burden on them.

138
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,450
Like if I bomb this dinner,

139
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,875
Speckle will for sure dump me

140
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,431
and get a super chill girlfriend,

141
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,335
and she'll be Tuca's
new best friend...

142
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:51,723
I know how to surf.

143
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,658
And I never shit.

144
00:04:56,002 --> 00:04:58,866
Tuca and Speckle haven't
dumped you yet...

145
00:04:58,891 --> 00:04:59,731
But they will.

146
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,999
I'm like a haunted house.

147
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,825
I look charming on the outside,

148
00:05:02,850 --> 00:05:04,803
but the more I let other people in,

149
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,404
the more they'll see
what I'm really like.

150
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:10,056
And it'll be too much
because I'm freakin' haunted.

151
00:05:10,818 --> 00:05:12,944
Maybe they wanna go
into a haunted house?

152
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,319
And they wanna help?

153
00:05:14,344 --> 00:05:15,880
I've got like creepy girls

154
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,483
facing the corner
with no face and shit!

155
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,619
You don't have to fix yourself
before letting them in.

156
00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:25,289
Nope. Nope. I didn't come here
to not fix myself.

157
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,291
I could have done that
in not-therapy.

158
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,494
I'm here because I'm fixin'
to get fixed!

159
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,419
If you can't help me,

160
00:05:30,444 --> 00:05:32,164
I'll just keep trying other
therapists.

161
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,165
Totally cool.

162
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,167
We've got 20 minutes left
on the clock

163
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:38,097
so I'm gonna watch
pottery fail videos

164
00:05:38,122 --> 00:05:39,494
if you wanna join me.

165
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,713
The pot was so beautiful
and now it's mud.

166
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,929
It's just freaking mud!

167
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,726
Y'all here for a date with me?

168
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:02,861
I sure am!

169
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,561
Oh, I see... I see everyone is.

170
00:06:05,586 --> 00:06:07,394
Wowzers, this is a development!

171
00:06:07,419 --> 00:06:10,645
Well, toot toot,
ya crazy romantics!

172
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,487
And get on the Sex Bus!

173
00:06:13,512 --> 00:06:16,608
Uh, I was just waiting
for my bus! To go home?

174
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,410
You're not going home
until you compete

175
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,729
for my casual interest,
you little cutie.

176
00:06:20,754 --> 00:06:22,007
I have a husband!

177
00:06:22,032 --> 00:06:23,475
All aboard!

178
00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:26,426
Welcome to Sex Bus!

179
00:06:26,451 --> 00:06:29,831
A not televised, not filmed
reality dating show.

180
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,133
All of you have
an equal chance at winning.

181
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:33,692
Except you.

182
00:06:33,799 --> 00:06:37,206
I'm sorry, I can already tell
this isn't gonna work out.

183
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:39,130
I'm getting bad vibes
right away.

184
00:06:39,155 --> 00:06:41,384
Is it the eyebrow ring?
It's fake.

185
00:06:41,409 --> 00:06:43,301
Uh... And your voice.

186
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,694
Look, I hate to do this...

187
00:06:44,719 --> 00:06:46,638
Well, screw you, Tucaloo!

188
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,840
Come on, I'm a great lady!

189
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,810
Ew, and your personality! Bleh!

190
00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:53,050
It's all bad.

191
00:06:53,075 --> 00:06:54,500
You're eliminated.

192
00:06:55,611 --> 00:06:56,915
But, silver lining,

193
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,796
I need a bus driver!
You're hired.

194
00:06:58,821 --> 00:07:00,118
Maybe, in the end,

195
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,121
you'll realize it was me
you loved all along?

196
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,345
Woof. Definitely not.

197
00:07:10,154 --> 00:07:12,233
There are so many therapists.

198
00:07:12,258 --> 00:07:13,804
How do you choose one?

199
00:07:15,487 --> 00:07:17,272
_

200
00:07:17,297 --> 00:07:18,257
_

201
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,608
Hey, Claudette. Cute outfit!

202
00:07:24,665 --> 00:07:27,732
Your therapist referral sucked.

203
00:07:30,405 --> 00:07:31,537
_

204
00:07:38,194 --> 00:07:41,225
Bertie, what are you doing?

205
00:07:45,496 --> 00:07:47,363
Bertie! What have you done?

206
00:07:49,109 --> 00:07:51,109
_

207
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,776
Ah, Bertie, I was just not
thinking about you.

208
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:58,777
How can I help you

209
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,180
and/or get you out of my office
quickly?

210
00:08:00,205 --> 00:08:01,113
Hey, Holland!

211
00:08:01,115 --> 00:08:03,252
I need to take the rest of the day off.

212
00:08:03,277 --> 00:08:04,716
Psychological emergency!

213
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,785
Ah, I'm in full support
of employees

214
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,037
taking mental health days.

215
00:08:08,062 --> 00:08:10,379
Cuts down
on the number of incidents.

216
00:08:10,784 --> 00:08:13,057
Well, let me know if you have
a therapist you like.

217
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,052
'Cause, uh, I'm on the hunt.

218
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,129
Oh, no, I'm British and over 60.

219
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:19,864
I've never even considered
going to a "funny doctor".

220
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,033
I'm very happy.

221
00:08:23,656 --> 00:08:26,877
Okay. Well. See you tomorrow!

222
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,273
Come on, Holly,
be a good soldier.

223
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:31,913
Your ex remarried. She's happy!

224
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:35,681
Here's the deal.

225
00:08:35,775 --> 00:08:39,296
I don't wanna talk about my mom
or judge a childhood trauma***

226
00:08:39,321 --> 00:08:42,616
I just want a surefire way
to fix panic attacks.

227
00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:45,171
By 6:00 p.m. today.

228
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:47,914
And, go!

229
00:08:47,939 --> 00:08:49,478
Transitional object work.

230
00:08:49,503 --> 00:08:50,903
Take this crystal.

231
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,831
When you feel anxious,

232
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,971
hold the crystal in your hand.

233
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,234
Can I keep this?

234
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,635
I'll add it to your bill.

235
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:02,640
To manually reset your
socially neurotic brain,

236
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:03,508
repeat whatever it is

237
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,377
your conversation partner is saying.

238
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,846
Repeat whatever it is
your partner is saying.

239
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,496
Okay. Stop repeating me.

240
00:09:09,521 --> 00:09:10,782
Stop repeating me.

241
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,361
You are a very handsome therapist?

242
00:09:13,893 --> 00:09:14,845
What?

243
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,724
When I feel anxious,

244
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:23,323
I like to list colors
in the room to distract myself.

245
00:09:23,348 --> 00:09:26,783
Blue... Blue... Blue...

246
00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:29,116
- Blue.
- Blue. Mm-hm.

247
00:09:30,911 --> 00:09:32,804
You need to be kinder to yourself.

248
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,561
Like, you're not a haunted house!

249
00:09:34,586 --> 00:09:37,120
You're so pretty and cool!

250
00:09:37,145 --> 00:09:39,679
Oh, that was just a metaphor.

251
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:42,391
And your friend Tuca
sounds so fun.

252
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,192
I wish I could hang out
with you guys.

253
00:09:45,073 --> 00:09:46,350
Uh... I gotta go.

254
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,276
- Thanks!
- I'll text you later!

255
00:09:52,965 --> 00:09:54,276
_

256
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,855
Welcome back to Sex Bus.

257
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,967
Previously on Sex Bus, a lively

258
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,969
portrait painting session
showed us that beauty

259
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,371
is in the eye of the brush holder.

260
00:10:08,002 --> 00:10:09,804
Oh, jeez! Sorry!

261
00:10:11,034 --> 00:10:12,287
Ooh, that's hot.

262
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,931
It's a pleasure to observe you.

263
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:17,690
This is technically proficient,

264
00:10:17,715 --> 00:10:19,899
but where's the soul?
The passion?

265
00:10:19,924 --> 00:10:21,962
Sorry, you're eliminated!

266
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:26,057
I don't understand what happened!

267
00:10:27,373 --> 00:10:29,838
How did I get in this limo?

268
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,848
Round two got immediately derailed

269
00:10:31,873 --> 00:10:34,261
when someone discovered
a bomb on the bus.

270
00:10:34,515 --> 00:10:36,267
Okay, cut the tan wire.

271
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,136
Don't touch the beige wire!

272
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,372
I don't see any wires!

273
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,222
I don't know if I can do this!

274
00:10:44,247 --> 00:10:46,812
You can and you must!
Just hold her steady!

275
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,346
Straight ahead!

276
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,021
Fortunately, in the end,

277
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,807
the bomb just turned out
to be lip balm.

278
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:01,292
From our sponsor,
Natural Selections.

279
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:04,295
Finally, a lip balm
for animals without lips.

280
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,231
Okay, none of this
makes any sense.

281
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:09,234
You're eliminated!
Get out of here, Logic Police!

282
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,400
I don't date cops! Anymore.

283
00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:14,817
And here we are at round three,

284
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:16,193
in which Tuca decides

285
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:19,620
if a contestant
is a good voiceover announcer.

286
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,535
So...

287
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,025
Sorry, it's a pass.

288
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,869
I'm not attracted
to a soothing male baritone.

289
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:27,686
I wanna be agitated!

290
00:11:28,171 --> 00:11:32,123
"Heartbreak", coming soon
to a man that is me!

291
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,083
I don't think Sheena is here
for the right reasons.

292
00:11:36,108 --> 00:11:38,368
But I am
and that's to get to my street.

293
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,860
Oh, here it is!

294
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,100
For the next round, um...

295
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,872
Do you gals like,
uh... broccoli?

296
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,705
Yeah! I love it!

297
00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:49,919
Wrong answer.

298
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:51,877
There's only room

299
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,503
for one broccoli lover
in my life

300
00:11:53,528 --> 00:11:55,195
and that's my best friend
Bertie.

301
00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:56,957
? Oh, I'm a big monster ?

302
00:11:56,982 --> 00:12:00,442
? Rating tiny trees, tiny trees
tiny trees! ?

303
00:12:02,237 --> 00:12:04,191
So, do I...

304
00:12:04,216 --> 00:12:05,462
Oh, no!

305
00:12:06,438 --> 00:12:09,294
I could fix it in a jiffy.
I'm, I'm a mechanic.

306
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,162
You're a sexy say that again?

307
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,630
A mechanic.

308
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:15,701
It's like a therapist
for your car?

309
00:12:15,703 --> 00:12:18,345
There's no one in my life
who knows how to fix a tire,

310
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:19,290
even me.

311
00:12:19,315 --> 00:12:21,038
You win Sex Bus!

312
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,163
Nifty.

313
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,004
Is it all over?

314
00:12:25,029 --> 00:12:26,828
Was I a fool to hold out hope?

315
00:12:26,853 --> 00:12:27,766
Yep.

316
00:12:28,178 --> 00:12:30,330
Text me!

317
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,718
Well, howdy there!

318
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,802
Can I actually use any of this?

319
00:12:38,882 --> 00:12:40,787
Crystals... Colors...

320
00:12:40,906 --> 00:12:41,795
Turtle!

321
00:12:43,065 --> 00:12:43,890
Crud!

322
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,717
Draca? I mean cool. You're cool.

323
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,694
Hey, where's my notebook?

324
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:51,471
Thanks.

325
00:12:51,496 --> 00:12:52,765
Sweet notebook.

326
00:12:52,790 --> 00:12:53,739
What's in there?

327
00:12:53,741 --> 00:12:56,399
To-dos and your reminders
to buy milk?

328
00:12:56,424 --> 00:12:57,796
Are you negging me?

329
00:12:57,821 --> 00:12:59,410
You know what,
I can't read your tone

330
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,791
and I don't have time
to figure it out!

331
00:13:00,816 --> 00:13:03,148
We just like milk.

332
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,466
Milk is cool.

333
00:13:04,491 --> 00:13:06,328
If you must know,
it's a list of ways

334
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,172
to prevent an anxiety attack.

335
00:13:08,197 --> 00:13:11,133
Just like, see a mental
health professional.

336
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,728
That's what I'm trying to do!

337
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,628
"Don't wait. Go grab what you want.

338
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,931
"Even if it seems pushy and rude."

339
00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:20,329
Okay, I will!

340
00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:21,852
Thanks, teens!

341
00:13:29,215 --> 00:13:31,746
Wait, I have to see
Dr. Esther Emu!

342
00:13:31,771 --> 00:13:34,379
I'm invoking
a "psychological emergency"!

343
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,650
Ah, frick.

344
00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:39,184
"Psychological emergency".

345
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,547
Ah, frick.

346
00:13:40,572 --> 00:13:43,188
You look like you have
a hot date, I'm so sorry.

347
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,650
I dress for myself.

348
00:13:44,675 --> 00:13:45,847
Well, I have a hot date,

349
00:13:45,872 --> 00:13:47,725
I need to be there
in 15 minutes,

350
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,801
And you have to help me
or... or else, I'll...

351
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,464
steal all your magazines!

352
00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:54,613
Take the magazines.
We don't even buy them.

353
00:13:54,638 --> 00:13:55,837
They just appear.

354
00:13:57,941 --> 00:13:59,837
Oh, go ahead, little bird.

355
00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:01,344
Tell me your problem.

356
00:14:01,369 --> 00:14:04,075
I need to know the best way
to prevent panic attacks.

357
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,477
I'm desperate.

358
00:14:05,479 --> 00:14:08,079
When you start to feel out of control,

359
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,014
close your eyes

360
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:12,022
and imagine the world
five minutes into the future,

361
00:14:12,047 --> 00:14:15,476
when the panic attack is over
and you've survived it.

362
00:14:15,501 --> 00:14:17,235
That's brilliant!

363
00:14:17,260 --> 00:14:18,801
It works because no one

364
00:14:18,826 --> 00:14:20,871
has ever died from a panic attack.

365
00:14:20,896 --> 00:14:22,627
Yeah, oh, that's right.

366
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:25,163
Except everyone
who panics while driving.

367
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:27,092
They all crash and die.

368
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,033
Oh, thank you!

369
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,401
Thank you so much!

370
00:14:30,922 --> 00:14:31,894
I lied.

371
00:14:31,919 --> 00:14:33,244
I dress like this for you.

372
00:14:33,269 --> 00:14:34,936
We're late for salsa class.

373
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,570
Oh, to heck with salsa.

374
00:14:41,229 --> 00:14:43,515
Now, this is my comfort zone.

375
00:14:43,517 --> 00:14:45,583
Unlike dating! Gee whiz.

376
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,457
But you seem so comfy and cool!

377
00:14:47,482 --> 00:14:50,188
Oh, heck, no, glad I fooled ya!

378
00:14:50,213 --> 00:14:51,244
I'm a wreck!

379
00:14:51,269 --> 00:14:54,459
I'm sorry I made you
go to this crazy competition all day.

380
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:55,527
I liked it.

381
00:14:55,529 --> 00:14:56,794
Made things low pressure.

382
00:14:56,796 --> 00:15:00,303
Which is bad for tires
but great for this gal!

383
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,811
Hold the tire here like that.

384
00:15:03,438 --> 00:15:05,070
At least with all those people
on the bus,

385
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:08,073
I could avoid those
first date awkward silences.

386
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,474
Those are the worst.

387
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,698
Maybe they aren't that bad.

388
00:15:17,887 --> 00:15:18,952
Nifty.

389
00:15:21,822 --> 00:15:24,867
Hi, hi, hi! Sorry! I made it!

390
00:15:24,892 --> 00:15:27,654
Good news!
They have vegetable skewers!

391
00:15:27,679 --> 00:15:29,321
Aka food swords!

392
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:31,612
Aka expectations met!

393
00:15:32,968 --> 00:15:34,606
I'm so happy
to be here with you.

394
00:15:34,631 --> 00:15:37,365
This is so special!
You're such a pretty bird!

395
00:15:38,174 --> 00:15:40,772
Sorry, I'm late to take your order...

396
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:42,840
I was surfing.

397
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:46,778
That's why my feathers
are so perfectly wavy.

398
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,381
And don't ask me where
the bathroom is here

399
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,249
because I don't know.

400
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,384
Because I don't shit.

401
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,120
Two prix fixe dinners, please.

402
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,684
Great choice.

403
00:15:56,856 --> 00:16:00,112
Imagine the world
five minutes in the future.

404
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,263
What's happening?

405
00:16:10,041 --> 00:16:12,470
Uh, Speckle,
I'm feeling a little nervous.

406
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,471
Oh, no.

407
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,183
Do you want me
to use the "worry vacuum"?

408
00:16:15,779 --> 00:16:18,143
No. Don't try to animate
this for me. Okay?

409
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,675
Just pretend everything is normal.

410
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:20,878
Tell me about your day.

411
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,213
Well...

412
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,615
Uh, we've been busting our tails

413
00:16:23,617 --> 00:16:25,082
getting this proposal done

414
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:26,852
for the new bathrooms
at Bird Town Park...

415
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,356
- ...and...
- Mother of...

416
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,690
Uh, are you okay?

417
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,559
Yes! Keep talking!

418
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,829
Okay, well, Len wanted this
brutalist design...

419
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,564
- Brutalist?
- ...which meant the toilets

420
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,366
would be shaped
like a skeletal box.

421
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,460
Skeletal?

422
00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:43,835
You know, typical Len!

423
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,437
- The order paperwork for it...
- Paperwork?

424
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:46,638
...was just murder.

425
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,373
Murder? What the hell?

426
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,574
Yeah, Len sucks.

427
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,176
Oh, yay, food!

428
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:55,981
Beet salad with red peppers
and cherry chunks and stuff.

429
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:03,189
Red... Blood red... Red blood...

430
00:17:04,229 --> 00:17:05,840
Oh, my God, Bertie?

431
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,585
Just ignore me!

432
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,261
Sweetie? Talk to me.

433
00:17:10,427 --> 00:17:11,959
Go away!

434
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,673
Uh, delicious.

435
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:23,675
Sorry.

436
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,410
I gotta go!

437
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,212
My friend Bertie is in trouble!

438
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,214
Oh, gee! Is she hurt?

439
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:32,355
Her boyfriend just texted,
she's having a panic attack!

440
00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:34,601
Oh, your poor buddy.
Has this happened before?

441
00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:37,823
Oh, yeah. This is a pattern.
It repeats weekly.

442
00:17:37,825 --> 00:17:40,626
Uh, then why do you need to go?

443
00:17:40,628 --> 00:17:42,991
Her fella's there, right?
She sounds needy.

444
00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:45,801
Nuh-uh, I'm the clingy,
codependent one.

445
00:17:45,826 --> 00:17:46,944
Bertie's the sweetest...

446
00:17:46,969 --> 00:17:48,834
Like, okay, if the radio's on

447
00:17:48,836 --> 00:17:51,503
and there's some horrible,
stupid pop song playing,

448
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:52,970
Bertie would rather listen to that

449
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:55,836
than put on something good
from her own playlist.

450
00:17:55,861 --> 00:17:58,530
? I'm always gonna love you... ?

451
00:17:58,646 --> 00:18:00,712
Hundreds of other people in Bird Town

452
00:18:00,714 --> 00:18:03,746
are listening to the same song
right now,

453
00:18:03,771 --> 00:18:05,050
And I dunno,

454
00:18:05,052 --> 00:18:06,718
It just makes me feel less alone.

455
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,611
We're all connected!

456
00:18:08,636 --> 00:18:11,304
Isn't that the sweetest thing
you've ever heard?

457
00:18:11,329 --> 00:18:12,993
She's a freakin' sweetheart.

458
00:18:13,018 --> 00:18:15,037
A frookin' sweetie pie, okay?

459
00:18:15,062 --> 00:18:18,063
Okay, okay,
I didn't say she wasn't sweet.

460
00:18:18,065 --> 00:18:19,865
Are you in love with her
or something?

461
00:18:19,867 --> 00:18:21,428
It's way deeper than that.

462
00:18:21,453 --> 00:18:23,381
She's my best friend!

463
00:18:24,501 --> 00:18:25,700
You wait here.

464
00:18:25,725 --> 00:18:27,698
Do not follow me in.

465
00:18:27,809 --> 00:18:29,074
Bertie hates meeting new people!

466
00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:30,515
I'm gonna go home.

467
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:33,061
Why? We were having a good time!

468
00:18:33,086 --> 00:18:34,746
I don't think you want another person

469
00:18:34,748 --> 00:18:35,881
in your life right now.

470
00:18:35,883 --> 00:18:38,508
I've watched you make
silly billy excuses

471
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:41,127
for every contestant
you kicked off Sex Bus today.

472
00:18:41,152 --> 00:18:42,873
Seems like you're using your friend

473
00:18:42,898 --> 00:18:44,689
as another reason to stay alone.

474
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,624
You're very preachy for a mechanic.

475
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,093
All mechanics are preachy.

476
00:18:48,095 --> 00:18:50,562
Sheesh, people don't take care
of their cars!

477
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:53,032
Then I guess you're eliminated!

478
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,010
Whatever you wanna call it.

479
00:19:01,709 --> 00:19:05,310
Bertie. Why don't you let me in
and we can talk?

480
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,049
No, I'm a burden!

481
00:19:07,074 --> 00:19:08,846
You don't want a rotten old house

482
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,064
full of banshees and babadooks!

483
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:14,385
Maybe Speckle and Tuca
like helping you.

484
00:19:15,385 --> 00:19:16,797
Huh? Dr. Joanne?

485
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,457
They love you
because of who you are,

486
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:22,394
You don't have to fix yourself
before letting them in.

487
00:19:22,547 --> 00:19:23,679
Bertie!

488
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:25,731
Oh, colonial shutters.

489
00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:27,495
You're such a cool house, Bertie!

490
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,629
Speckle is an architect.

491
00:19:29,654 --> 00:19:31,737
He loves getting inside
crappy old houses

492
00:19:31,739 --> 00:19:32,870
to fix them up.

493
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,807
And Tuca loves messy
and dangerous places.

494
00:19:35,809 --> 00:19:37,943
Maybe they don't mind
that I'm haunted.

495
00:19:37,945 --> 00:19:40,746
? I'm always gonna love you... ?

496
00:19:40,748 --> 00:19:44,750
Wait, I love this song.

497
00:19:44,752 --> 00:19:46,818
- Tuca!
- See, you're okay!

498
00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:48,286
You're not alone.

499
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:49,487
I'm your panic mechanic!

500
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,219
I always know what you need.

501
00:19:51,244 --> 00:19:52,690
And I texted Tuca.

502
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,360
The important thing is
we all helped equally!

503
00:20:02,169 --> 00:20:04,169
Uh, just following your lead,
babe,

504
00:20:04,171 --> 00:20:07,244
But if we leave now,
I don't have to pay for parking.

505
00:20:07,269 --> 00:20:08,340
Let's bounce!

506
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:17,715
Uh, what's happening?

507
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,384
What is this sensation?

508
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,920
Uh, it feels like I'm surfing
a killer wave

509
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,790
Inside my own body?

510
00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:26,992
Is this... Am I...

511
00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:28,246
...shitting?

512
00:20:37,335 --> 00:20:40,040
Boom! Anniversary ambiance!

513
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,808
Okay, four pickles?

514
00:20:42,810 --> 00:20:44,810
Pfft, this is way better than
that stuffy restaurant.

515
00:20:44,812 --> 00:20:46,944
I'm sorry about tonight, Speckle.

516
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,815
You know, I tried so hard
to avoid having a panic attack,

517
00:20:49,817 --> 00:20:52,017
It's like I guaranteed it to happen!

518
00:20:52,019 --> 00:20:53,485
I just don't want you to feel like

519
00:20:53,487 --> 00:20:54,952
you have to suffer alone, okay?

520
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,627
I love sitting under tables with you.

521
00:20:56,652 --> 00:20:59,786
I'm down to build a table fort
at literally any moment.

522
00:20:59,811 --> 00:21:02,894
I think I'm gonna keep seeing
this therapist, Dr. Joanne,

523
00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:04,577
and work on this stuff with her.

524
00:21:04,602 --> 00:21:06,881
You found a therapist you like?
That's great!

525
00:21:06,906 --> 00:21:09,172
What about you, Tuca?
Did you like your date?

526
00:21:09,197 --> 00:21:10,902
I didn't find the person or anything,

527
00:21:10,904 --> 00:21:13,888
But it was still... nifty.

528
00:21:15,364 --> 00:21:16,708
I'm going upstairs.

529
00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:19,673
Let you guys have
some alone time.

530
00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:22,714
Thanks, Tuca. We love you.

531
00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:26,428
You looked handsome tonight.

532
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:27,953
I know, right?

533
00:21:42,349 --> 00:21:46,570
_

534
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:51,008
? You're caught off guard ?

535
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:53,945
? And maybe you've fallen off ?

536
00:21:53,947 --> 00:21:56,347
? Please don't let them ?

537
00:21:56,349 --> 00:22:01,486
? make you think any less of it ?

538
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:04,890
? You're caught off guard ?

539
00:22:04,892 --> 00:22:08,026
? And maybe you've fallen off ?

540
00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:10,361
? Please don't let them ?

541
00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:15,000
? make you change your end place ?

542
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,000
Blue, blue.

543
00:22:19,432 --> 00:22:22,603
Blue, blue, blue.

544
00:22:22,628 --> 00:22:30,523
Sync & corrections by dwigt
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