1
00:00:02,381 --> 00:00:05,415
Look at him. Bres my heart.

2
00:00:05,418 --> 00:00:08,233
Poor little guy, all alone.

3
00:00:08,236 --> 00:00:09,402
I don't see why

4
00:00:09,405 --> 00:00:11,835
- his brother can't sit with him.
- Come on, Mary.

5
00:00:11,838 --> 00:00:13,164
When you were in high
school, would you have lunch

6
00:00:13,166 --> 00:00:14,952
- with a nine-year-old?
- Yes, I would've.

7
00:00:14,955 --> 00:00:16,522
Well, there's something wrong with you.

8
00:00:16,524 --> 00:00:18,202
I'm gonna keep him company.

9
00:00:18,205 --> 00:00:19,858
Hey, hey, hey, Mary. Mary.

10
00:00:19,860 --> 00:00:22,227
Think this through. Right now the kids

11
00:00:22,229 --> 00:00:23,562
are just ignoring Sheldon.

12
00:00:23,564 --> 00:00:25,764
What happens if he's
sitting with his mommy?

13
00:00:25,766 --> 00:00:29,435
They could mistake me for a senior.

14
00:00:29,437 --> 00:00:31,436
Well, I look younger than you.

15
00:00:31,439 --> 00:00:33,072
Just give this time, all right?

16
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:35,207
It'll work itself out.

17
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:37,889
My mother never understood

18
00:00:37,892 --> 00:00:40,679
that I actually enjoyed being alone.

19
00:00:40,681 --> 00:00:44,283
Solitude allowed me to
think about important things,

20
00:00:44,285 --> 00:00:46,739
like the effect of gravitational forces

21
00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:50,055
as you approach an event horizon,

22
00:00:50,057 --> 00:00:52,088
as opposed to less important things,

23
00:00:52,091 --> 00:00:55,527
like how many grapes my
brother can fit in his mouth.

24
00:00:55,529 --> 00:00:56,895
14!

25
00:00:56,897 --> 00:00:58,897
Yeah!

26
00:00:58,899 --> 00:01:00,899
Jean-Paul Sartre said,

27
00:01:00,901 --> 00:01:02,958
"Hell is other people."

28
00:01:04,172 --> 00:01:08,307
That's humorous because it's true.

29
00:01:19,487 --> 00:01:26,044
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

30
00:01:32,199 --> 00:01:33,632
Something wrong?

31
00:01:33,634 --> 00:01:36,017
How come math is easy for Sheldon

32
00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:37,285
and hard for me?

33
00:01:37,288 --> 00:01:38,376
I don't know, honey,

34
00:01:38,379 --> 00:01:40,112
but you have your own gifts.

35
00:01:40,115 --> 00:01:41,603
Like what?

36
00:01:41,606 --> 00:01:43,186
Well, like...

37
00:01:46,614 --> 00:01:49,281
you have very pretty hair.

38
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,657
True.

39
00:01:53,065 --> 00:01:54,431
Georgie.

40
00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:56,467
Would you do me a little tiny favor?

41
00:01:56,469 --> 00:01:57,360
Like what?

42
00:01:57,363 --> 00:01:59,269
Tomorrow at lunch, would you mind

43
00:01:59,272 --> 00:02:00,504
sitting with your brother?

44
00:02:00,506 --> 00:02:01,772
Don't do it, Georgie.

45
00:02:01,774 --> 00:02:03,073
You stay out of this.

46
00:02:03,075 --> 00:02:04,708
I ate with him in second grade.

47
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:06,744
It really hurt my social life.

48
00:02:06,746 --> 00:02:09,204
Sorry, Mom. Can't do it.

49
00:02:10,683 --> 00:02:12,883
Why are you such a brat?

50
00:02:12,885 --> 00:02:15,152
Maybe I'm crying for attention.

51
00:02:15,154 --> 00:02:17,834
This isn't a joke, young lady.

52
00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:20,193
Yes, your brother may be smart,

53
00:02:20,196 --> 00:02:22,626
but he doesn't have
a friend in the world.

54
00:02:22,628 --> 00:02:26,497
And I am sorry, but I am
very worried about him.

55
00:02:30,503 --> 00:02:33,270
Nice going. You're making
Mom a nervous wreck.

56
00:02:33,272 --> 00:02:34,821
What did I do?

57
00:02:34,824 --> 00:02:37,775
You don't have any friends,
and she is beside herself.

58
00:02:37,777 --> 00:02:39,276
But I'm fine without friends.

59
00:02:39,278 --> 00:02:40,911
I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon.

60
00:02:40,913 --> 00:02:42,850
She said it's your fault.

61
00:02:42,853 --> 00:02:44,982
I'm going to watch ALF.

62
00:02:44,984 --> 00:02:47,384
Science fact:

63
00:02:47,386 --> 00:02:49,386
sisters are the worst.

64
00:02:58,475 --> 00:03:00,381
When you're three foot ten

65
00:03:00,393 --> 00:03:01,706
and in high school,

66
00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:03,132
getting from point "A"

67
00:03:03,135 --> 00:03:06,520
to point "B" can be a
harrowing experience.

68
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:16,512
But it's worth it when point "B" is...

69
00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:20,867
the library.

70
00:03:20,870 --> 00:03:24,095
Home to the original
information superhighway,

71
00:03:24,097 --> 00:03:26,064
the Dewey Decimal System.

72
00:03:26,066 --> 00:03:27,565
Hey there, Sheldon.

73
00:03:27,567 --> 00:03:29,414
What can I get for you today?

74
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:30,935
Chemistry?

75
00:03:30,938 --> 00:03:33,179
Quantum mechanics? Astronomy?

76
00:03:33,182 --> 00:03:34,831
No, nothing fun today.

77
00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:36,781
I need to learn how to make a friend.

78
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,487
Aw, honey, you having a hard time

79
00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:39,922
adjusting to high school?

80
00:03:39,925 --> 00:03:42,626
I'm having a hard time
adjusting to Earth.

81
00:03:42,629 --> 00:03:44,829
Yeah. You and me both.

82
00:03:47,845 --> 00:03:49,544
Try this.

83
00:03:49,546 --> 00:03:52,414
It's been around a while,
but it's still quite popular.

84
00:03:52,416 --> 00:03:54,468
Unlike me,

85
00:03:54,471 --> 00:03:56,671
who's just been around a while.

86
00:03:59,134 --> 00:04:01,168
"How to Win Friends

87
00:04:01,171 --> 00:04:03,125
and Influence People."

88
00:04:03,127 --> 00:04:04,426
This might do it.

89
00:04:04,428 --> 00:04:07,029
"Principle one.

90
00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:10,499
Don't criticize, condemn or complain."

91
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,501
The three sharpest arrows

92
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,436
in my quiver.

93
00:04:14,438 --> 00:04:16,571
Thus began the greatest challenge

94
00:04:16,573 --> 00:04:17,973
of my young life.

95
00:04:17,975 --> 00:04:19,641
Hello, George.

96
00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:20,945
What?

97
00:04:20,948 --> 00:04:23,976
I do admire your thick head of hair...

98
00:04:23,979 --> 00:04:25,345
George.

99
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,250
Thanks.

100
00:04:28,252 --> 00:04:29,818
What's going on?

101
00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:32,454
Well, I'm practicing the
principles in this book.

102
00:04:32,456 --> 00:04:35,106
- Why?
- Well, I know Mom is concerned

103
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,546
that I don't have any friends,

104
00:04:36,549 --> 00:04:39,494
so I'm determined to
remedy the situation.

105
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:40,896
Oh.

106
00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:42,297
George.

107
00:04:42,299 --> 00:04:44,484
Well, good for you.

108
00:04:44,487 --> 00:04:45,718
Do you feel complimented

109
00:04:45,721 --> 00:04:47,654
when I say your name, George?

110
00:04:47,657 --> 00:04:50,158
The book says you should. George.

111
00:04:50,161 --> 00:04:51,839
I suppose.

112
00:04:51,842 --> 00:04:53,875
Kind of overdoing it a little.

113
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,625
- Sheldon.
- Well, thank you

114
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,095
for your criticism.

115
00:04:57,098 --> 00:04:58,597
It also says I should praise

116
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,881
any improvements that you've made.

117
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,078
Okay.

118
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:07,222
I'll get back to you.

119
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,156
George.

120
00:05:12,765 --> 00:05:14,077
On the heels

121
00:05:14,079 --> 00:05:15,915
of that successful beta test,

122
00:05:15,918 --> 00:05:18,418
I decided to practice
the Carnegie principles

123
00:05:18,421 --> 00:05:20,249
on someone my own age.

124
00:05:22,353 --> 00:05:25,088
- Hello, Billy Sparks.
- Hey, Sheldon.

125
00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:27,434
I am genuinely interested in you

126
00:05:27,437 --> 00:05:30,216
and would like to encourage
you to talk about yourself.

127
00:05:30,219 --> 00:05:31,770
Billy Sparks.

128
00:05:31,773 --> 00:05:32,984
Thank you.

129
00:05:39,504 --> 00:05:41,070
You have the floor.

130
00:05:41,072 --> 00:05:42,781
Thank you.

131
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:47,810
Looking back, I would've had better luck

132
00:05:47,812 --> 00:05:49,712
making friends with the chickens.

133
00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:51,583
Go Wolves.

134
00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:52,648
What?

135
00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:54,584
You're a cheerleader, and by saying

136
00:05:54,586 --> 00:05:57,086
"Go Wolves," I'm
initiating a conversation

137
00:05:57,088 --> 00:05:58,856
about something that interests you.

138
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:02,325
Oh, are you one of
those special ed kids?

139
00:06:02,327 --> 00:06:04,325
My mom says I'm special.

140
00:06:04,328 --> 00:06:06,161
Would you like to be friends?

141
00:06:06,164 --> 00:06:07,968
I don't think so.

142
00:06:07,971 --> 00:06:09,932
Are you sure? What if I told you

143
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,268
I admired your boldly-applied makeup?

144
00:06:19,156 --> 00:06:21,687
Greetings from stall number one.

145
00:06:21,690 --> 00:06:24,637
As much as I detest that
odd-smelling cigarette,

146
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,817
I do applaud

147
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,917
your rule-breaking bravado.

148
00:06:29,571 --> 00:06:31,237
My name is Sheldon. What's yours?

149
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,403
Hello, gentlemen.

150
00:06:34,406 --> 00:06:38,427
Did you watch any sports
programs over the weekend?

151
00:06:40,664 --> 00:06:44,500
Or perhaps did some kissing with girls?

152
00:06:47,071 --> 00:06:49,208
Can you hear me?

153
00:06:50,468 --> 00:06:53,653
95, 96, 97.

154
00:06:53,656 --> 00:06:54,911
98.

155
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,647
99, 100.

156
00:06:57,649 --> 00:06:59,615
- You missed 11 numbers.
- I don't need

157
00:06:59,617 --> 00:07:02,385
to be good at math.
I have beautiful hair.

158
00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:04,817
That's the saddest
thing I've ever heard.

159
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:07,023
Didn't you already read that book?

160
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:09,137
I'm reading it again.

161
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,126
How come?

162
00:07:10,128 --> 00:07:11,961
I clearly missed something.

163
00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:14,997
I couldn't find one person
who wanted to be my friend.

164
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,966
Did you look at the card inside?

165
00:07:16,968 --> 00:07:18,978
Why?

166
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:21,481
That's just other people
who checked out the book.

167
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:24,540
It's a list of losers like
you who can't find a friend.

168
00:07:24,542 --> 00:07:25,961
So?

169
00:07:25,964 --> 00:07:28,544
So they're desperate,
and you have their names.

170
00:07:28,546 --> 00:07:31,848
That's brilliant.

171
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,583
Mm.

172
00:07:33,585 --> 00:07:36,203
Now, how is it that you can't count?

173
00:07:46,981 --> 00:07:50,234
So your father tells me
you've been reading a new book?

174
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,567
I am. It's about how to make friends.

175
00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:55,087
Is that something you're interested in?

176
00:07:55,089 --> 00:07:57,389
Not really, but Missy told me

177
00:07:57,391 --> 00:07:59,625
it makes you sad that I don't have any.

178
00:07:59,627 --> 00:08:01,393
Oh.

179
00:08:01,395 --> 00:08:03,795
I got to sew that girl's mouth shut.

180
00:08:03,797 --> 00:08:06,131
So how's it going?

181
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:09,034
Well, the principles in the
book didn't work for me at all.

182
00:08:09,036 --> 00:08:11,303
Although Dad does like
being called George

183
00:08:11,305 --> 00:08:14,106
over and over again, so
you might give that a try.

184
00:08:14,108 --> 00:08:17,109
Baby, you don't have to
go to any trouble for me.

185
00:08:17,111 --> 00:08:18,911
But I like doing things for you.

186
00:08:18,913 --> 00:08:20,445
You're a nice lady.

187
00:08:20,447 --> 00:08:22,848
- But if the book's not working...
- It isn't.

188
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:25,717
But I realized if I
find the other people

189
00:08:25,719 --> 00:08:28,620
who checked out the book, they'd
be looking for friends, too.

190
00:08:28,622 --> 00:08:30,789
That's really smart.

191
00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:33,358
- Missy thought of it.
- You're kidding.

192
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,694
I'm as surprised as you are.

193
00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:40,999
Excuse me, Ms. Ingram?

194
00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:43,012
Sheldon, it's recess.

195
00:08:43,015 --> 00:08:44,970
Go outside, see what it's like.

196
00:08:44,972 --> 00:08:48,106
Are you by any chance Evelyn Ingram?

197
00:08:48,108 --> 00:08:49,718
Yes.

198
00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:52,820
The same Evelyn Ingram
who checked out this book?

199
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,179
- And why is that your business?
- I just

200
00:08:55,182 --> 00:08:57,257
assumed you were
looking to make a friend.

201
00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:58,826
Oh.

202
00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,661
Well, that was a long time ago.

203
00:09:00,664 --> 00:09:03,722
I had just gotten out of a
very difficult relationship.

204
00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,257
- With a friend?
- Friend.

205
00:09:05,259 --> 00:09:07,960
Ha! I gave that man
three years of my life

206
00:09:07,962 --> 00:09:09,494
and my innocence.

207
00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:10,961
I don't know what that means.

208
00:09:10,964 --> 00:09:14,333
It means men are lying dogs
only interested in one thing

209
00:09:14,335 --> 00:09:16,513
Well, that's not the
dictionary definition.

210
00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:17,610
Mm-hmm.

211
00:09:17,613 --> 00:09:19,297
Always starts the same.

212
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:23,208
A quick glance across the room,
a casual hand on the shoulder,

213
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,005
lunch at Stuckey's.

214
00:09:25,008 --> 00:09:26,500
Oh, yeah, it's all romance

215
00:09:26,503 --> 00:09:27,852
and flowers in the beginning...

216
00:09:27,855 --> 00:09:30,721
The list proved to be
a double-edged sword.

217
00:09:30,724 --> 00:09:34,752
It turns out self-help
books written in 1936

218
00:09:34,755 --> 00:09:36,799
were only of interest to adults.

219
00:09:36,802 --> 00:09:38,322
You're like, "I'm here because I care.

220
00:09:38,325 --> 00:09:40,525
And by the way, your phone
could make calls, too."

221
00:09:40,527 --> 00:09:41,834
Then tries to turn
this whole thing around

222
00:09:41,836 --> 00:09:43,328
like it's all about you being needy,

223
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,963
and you're like, "Yes, I have needs!

224
00:09:44,965 --> 00:09:46,798
That's what makes me human!"

225
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,234
Emotionally troubled adults.

226
00:09:49,236 --> 00:09:51,172
Child, go outside.

227
00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:56,161
Yes, that's my
signature. Why do you ask?

228
00:09:56,164 --> 00:09:58,809
I'm seeking people who
want to make friends.

229
00:09:58,812 --> 00:10:00,642
I wasn't interested in friends.

230
00:10:00,645 --> 00:10:03,148
I took out that book to help
me become school principal.

231
00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:07,019
- Did it work?
- Are we sitting in the principal's office?

232
00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:09,213
- No.
- And you know why?

233
00:10:09,216 --> 00:10:12,721
Because Victoria MacElroy is not a man!

234
00:10:12,724 --> 00:10:16,145
So to be clear, you're not
interested in making friends?

235
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:20,098
What I'm interested in
is in living long enough

236
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:24,091
to see women no longer treated
like second-class citizens.

237
00:10:24,094 --> 00:10:25,708
Well if your goal is a long life,

238
00:10:25,711 --> 00:10:28,906
that chili cheeseburger is a
step in the wrong direction.

239
00:10:28,909 --> 00:10:31,710
Food is all I have.

240
00:10:31,712 --> 00:10:33,878
Like I said,

241
00:10:33,881 --> 00:10:36,244
emotionally troubled adults.

242
00:10:36,247 --> 00:10:38,050
You gonna watch me eat?

243
00:10:38,052 --> 00:10:39,552
Get out of here.

244
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,957
Everybody told me,

245
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,041
"Hubert, don't date someone from work."

246
00:10:46,044 --> 00:10:48,126
But did I listen? No.

247
00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:49,895
Let me tell you
something. She likes to say

248
00:10:49,897 --> 00:10:51,036
I stole her innocence?

249
00:10:51,039 --> 00:10:52,472
Well, what about my innocence?

250
00:10:52,475 --> 00:10:53,999
I was never the same after we broke up.

251
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,247
Two years later,

252
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:57,439
Mr. Givens became the
high school principal,

253
00:10:57,442 --> 00:11:01,005
which might be why Ms.
MacElroy became morbidly obese.

254
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:03,608
I had the brains, I had the
charm, and I don't like to brag,

255
00:11:03,610 --> 00:11:05,544
but I was pretty easy
on the eyes back then.

256
00:11:05,546 --> 00:11:07,612
That woman got herself
one heck of a package.

257
00:11:07,614 --> 00:11:09,715
But some people don't
want to be satisfied.

258
00:11:11,481 --> 00:11:13,151
Is that any good?

259
00:11:13,153 --> 00:11:14,892
I'm afraid not.

260
00:11:14,895 --> 00:11:16,888
I failed to make a single friend.

261
00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:19,758
That sucks. I have a tough
time making friends, too.

262
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,403
The worst part is, it
was important to my mom.

263
00:11:22,406 --> 00:11:25,263
My parents pressure me about
making friends all the time.

264
00:11:25,265 --> 00:11:28,433
So you understand
what I'm going through.

265
00:11:28,435 --> 00:11:31,203
Oh, I read that book. It's excellent.

266
00:11:31,205 --> 00:11:32,721
Are you into rocketry?

267
00:11:32,724 --> 00:11:35,006
I started with water propulsion,

268
00:11:35,008 --> 00:11:36,808
worked my way up to solid fuel,

269
00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:39,511
then went back to water after
I set our garage on fire.

270
00:11:39,513 --> 00:11:42,347
- Nice.
- I also tried to get some uranium

271
00:11:42,349 --> 00:11:45,917
and build an atomic engine,
but that stuff's hard to find.

272
00:11:45,919 --> 00:11:48,754
Probably for the best.

273
00:11:48,756 --> 00:11:50,956
Well, good luck on your
quest to find a friend.

274
00:11:50,958 --> 00:11:52,513
You, too.

275
00:11:58,399 --> 00:12:01,450
If you haven't found one
yet, I have good news.

276
00:12:04,104 --> 00:12:07,005
Mom, what do you know
about the drug Prozac?

277
00:12:07,007 --> 00:12:08,407
Not much.

278
00:12:08,409 --> 00:12:11,042
Supposed to make people happier. Why?

279
00:12:11,044 --> 00:12:12,520
I was just thinking

280
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,679
some of my teachers
might benefit from it.

281
00:12:14,681 --> 00:12:16,966
Speaking of which,

282
00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:19,217
you'll be happy to know
I made a friend today.

283
00:12:19,219 --> 00:12:21,520
Oh.

284
00:12:21,522 --> 00:12:23,455
Well, that's nice.

285
00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:25,624
But, as I said, this isn't for me.

286
00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:28,067
It's for you.

287
00:12:28,070 --> 00:12:29,528
He made a friend!

288
00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:30,591
He did it!

289
00:12:30,594 --> 00:12:33,532
Our little boy has got a friend.

290
00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:35,367
- Who is it?
- Who cares?

291
00:12:35,369 --> 00:12:37,502
It's a human being. It's a warm body.

292
00:12:37,504 --> 00:12:39,137
Mom?

293
00:12:39,139 --> 00:12:40,272
Yes, honey?

294
00:12:40,274 --> 00:12:42,174
- Can I come in?
- Of course.

295
00:12:42,176 --> 00:12:43,875
Be cool.

296
00:12:44,711 --> 00:12:46,445
- What's up, sweetie?
- I was wondering

297
00:12:46,447 --> 00:12:49,076
when I could continue my rocketry hobby.

298
00:12:49,079 --> 00:12:51,088
Uh, Sheldon, we've been through this.

299
00:12:51,091 --> 00:12:53,151
You can build them. You
just can't launch them.

300
00:12:53,153 --> 00:12:54,953
But launching them is the fun part.

301
00:12:54,955 --> 00:12:56,288
Tell that to the family of squirrels

302
00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:57,456
who died in the fire.

303
00:12:57,458 --> 00:12:58,763
Okay.

304
00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:01,193
It was just something I was
hoping to do with my new friend.

305
00:13:01,195 --> 00:13:02,494
Hang on.

306
00:13:02,496 --> 00:13:04,010
Uh, yes.

307
00:13:04,013 --> 00:13:05,063
It's fine.

308
00:13:05,065 --> 00:13:06,064
Ban is lifted.

309
00:13:06,066 --> 00:13:07,705
- Mary...
- It's for his friend.

310
00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:09,501
He's got a friend.

311
00:13:09,974 --> 00:13:11,837
Besides, those could have been rats.

312
00:13:11,839 --> 00:13:13,405
Their bodies were so badly burned.

313
00:13:13,407 --> 00:13:16,541
I thought we were being cool, but okay.

314
00:13:16,543 --> 00:13:18,322
Hey, here's an idea.

315
00:13:18,325 --> 00:13:20,745
Why don't you invite your
new buddy over for dinner?

316
00:13:20,747 --> 00:13:22,346
- Why?
- Well, honey,

317
00:13:22,349 --> 00:13:25,650
um, that is what friends do.

318
00:13:25,652 --> 00:13:27,452
My mother asked me to ask you

319
00:13:27,454 --> 00:13:29,321
if you'd like to join us for dinner.

320
00:13:29,323 --> 00:13:32,630
- Why?
- I was hoping you'd know.

321
00:13:38,622 --> 00:13:40,088
He's here!

322
00:13:40,091 --> 00:13:42,767
Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day,

323
00:13:42,769 --> 00:13:45,283
- just a normal dinner.
- Can I eat in front of the TV?

324
00:13:45,286 --> 00:13:47,294
No, you can eat in front
of Sheldon's friend.

325
00:13:47,297 --> 00:13:49,450
- Aw, fudge.
- I know what "fudge" means,

326
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,642
and you are right on
the edge, young lady.

327
00:13:51,645 --> 00:13:54,333
Welcome.

328
00:14:03,156 --> 00:14:04,890
So, uh...

329
00:14:04,892 --> 00:14:07,058
Tam. What kind of name is that?

330
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:08,697
Vietnamese. Sir.

331
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,929
Sure. You know, I spent
a little time over there.

332
00:14:10,931 --> 00:14:12,614
Army.

333
00:14:14,968 --> 00:14:17,102
Your mom's name isn't Kim-Lee, is it?

334
00:14:17,104 --> 00:14:18,637
No. Sir.

335
00:14:18,639 --> 00:14:20,238
Good.

336
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,008
I mean, you know, it's a small country.

337
00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:24,543
So...

338
00:14:24,545 --> 00:14:26,213
Mary, how's that food coming?

339
00:14:26,216 --> 00:14:27,314
Almost.

340
00:14:27,317 --> 00:14:29,414
So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.

341
00:14:29,416 --> 00:14:31,516
- Yes.
- That's a cool movie.

342
00:14:31,518 --> 00:14:32,450
Yes.

343
00:14:32,452 --> 00:14:33,552
Are you in it?

344
00:14:33,554 --> 00:14:35,687
- No.
- Hmm.

345
00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:38,723
Why would you think you knew his mom?

346
00:14:38,725 --> 00:14:40,692
All right, Tam.

347
00:14:40,694 --> 00:14:43,666
I decided I was gonna make
you a real Texas dinner.

348
00:14:43,669 --> 00:14:45,230
Barbecued chicken and brisket.

349
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:46,216
Thank you.

350
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,933
Well, I figured you were probably tired

351
00:14:47,935 --> 00:14:49,834
of stuff wiggling around on your plate.

352
00:14:49,836 --> 00:14:51,997
Okay, let's say grace.

353
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,705
Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus,"

354
00:14:53,707 --> 00:14:55,774
feel free to say the word
"Buddha" in your head.

355
00:14:55,776 --> 00:14:56,975
I'm actually Catholic.

356
00:14:56,977 --> 00:14:59,711
Oh. Well, that's too bad.

357
00:14:59,713 --> 00:15:01,596
Thank you, God, for this food,

358
00:15:01,599 --> 00:15:03,138
and bless the hands that prepared it.

359
00:15:03,141 --> 00:15:06,116
And thank you so much
for Sheldon's new friend.

360
00:15:06,119 --> 00:15:08,486
Amen.

361
00:15:08,488 --> 00:15:11,189
So, Tam, tell us about your family.

362
00:15:11,191 --> 00:15:12,763
What brings y'all to Texas?

363
00:15:12,766 --> 00:15:14,856
Well, after the American War...

364
00:15:14,859 --> 00:15:16,161
You mean the Vietnam War.

365
00:15:16,163 --> 00:15:17,662
We call it the American War.

366
00:15:17,664 --> 00:15:19,013
- Hmm.
- Anyway,

367
00:15:19,016 --> 00:15:20,664
after the war, my father was sent

368
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,100
to a reeducation camp

369
00:15:22,102 --> 00:15:23,511
because he fought on the wrong side.

370
00:15:23,513 --> 00:15:24,569
You mean our side.

371
00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:27,172
I was trying to be nice.

372
00:15:27,174 --> 00:15:28,927
So, for many years,

373
00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:30,663
my mother and my sisters and I

374
00:15:30,666 --> 00:15:32,010
were very poor

375
00:15:32,013 --> 00:15:34,346
and very often didn't have much to eat.

376
00:15:34,348 --> 00:15:36,466
Then, when he was released...

377
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,550
What'd they teach him
at the reeducation camp?

378
00:15:38,552 --> 00:15:39,784
How to be a communist.

379
00:15:39,786 --> 00:15:41,753
Cool, like in Rambo.

380
00:15:42,923 --> 00:15:44,142
When he was released,

381
00:15:44,145 --> 00:15:45,991
we escaped on a small boat

382
00:15:45,993 --> 00:15:49,561
and spent many weeks at sea
dodging Cambodian pirates

383
00:15:49,563 --> 00:15:51,440
until we reached Thailand.

384
00:15:51,443 --> 00:15:54,377
Oh, that's supposed to
be a beautiful country.

385
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,635
- Lovely beaches.
- I wouldn't know.

386
00:15:56,637 --> 00:15:58,803
We were forced to
live in a refugee camp,

387
00:15:58,805 --> 00:16:02,044
where the only thing we had
to eat were pigeons and rats.

388
00:16:02,047 --> 00:16:04,138
Ha! That's a job for hot sauce.

389
00:16:05,872 --> 00:16:07,255
Finally,

390
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:09,214
we were allowed to come to United States

391
00:16:09,216 --> 00:16:10,815
and start over in Galveston.

392
00:16:10,817 --> 00:16:13,785
My father saved money and
bought his own shrimp boat.

393
00:16:13,787 --> 00:16:16,488
There's a happy ending. Huh?

394
00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:18,623
See, kids? When the going gets tough,

395
00:16:18,625 --> 00:16:20,992
- America provides.
- It did.

396
00:16:20,994 --> 00:16:23,760
Until the Ku Klux Klan burned our boat

397
00:16:23,763 --> 00:16:25,430
and chased us away.

398
00:16:25,432 --> 00:16:27,899
You gonna put a good spin on that one?

399
00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:29,763
So we came to Medford

400
00:16:29,766 --> 00:16:31,770
and opened up a convenience store.

401
00:16:31,772 --> 00:16:34,205
My parents work 16 hours a day,

402
00:16:34,207 --> 00:16:35,940
seven days a week

403
00:16:35,942 --> 00:16:38,122
for very little money.

404
00:16:43,606 --> 00:16:45,434
Well, that was depressing.

405
00:16:55,554 --> 00:16:57,787
I don't understand why it didn't launch.

406
00:16:57,790 --> 00:16:59,190
Me, neither.

407
00:16:59,193 --> 00:17:02,525
Evil Nazi scientists
did it 50 years ago.

408
00:17:02,527 --> 00:17:04,059
How hard could it be?

409
00:17:08,432 --> 00:17:10,266
Can I help you?

410
00:17:10,268 --> 00:17:12,768
Sorry to bother you, ma'am. FBI.

411
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,803
We're looking for a Sheldon Lee Cooper.

412
00:17:14,805 --> 00:17:17,026
George!

413
00:17:17,029 --> 00:17:18,228
I'm on the can.

414
00:17:18,231 --> 00:17:20,342
Now!

415
00:17:20,344 --> 00:17:23,395
- What?
- These gentlemen

416
00:17:23,398 --> 00:17:26,048
are with the FBI. They
want to talk to Sheldon.

417
00:17:26,050 --> 00:17:27,750
What?

418
00:17:27,752 --> 00:17:29,169
We... Uh...

419
00:17:29,172 --> 00:17:30,986
Y-You fellas must have made a mistake.

420
00:17:30,988 --> 00:17:32,454
Sheldon's nine.

421
00:17:32,456 --> 00:17:33,956
Well, someone living at this address

422
00:17:33,958 --> 00:17:36,325
recently called a mining
operation in Canada

423
00:17:36,327 --> 00:17:37,526
and tried to buy uranium.

424
00:17:37,528 --> 00:17:39,638
Okay, maybe it's not a mistake.

425
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,041
It's ridiculous.

426
00:17:41,051 --> 00:17:43,013
Let's just go talk to him. Huh?

427
00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:45,433
He's just a little, itty-bitty thing.

428
00:17:45,436 --> 00:17:46,769
Really, he's harmless.

429
00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:52,572
Sorry!

430
00:17:52,575 --> 00:17:54,341
He's in the garage.

431
00:17:56,059 --> 00:18:01,872
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --